Insurgent Uncovered
by Damn you Kylie
Summary: Sequel to Divergent Uncovered. The twelve are still kidnapped as they now have to read Insurgent. Disclaimer: I do not own the Divergent Series.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: A little house keeping before we start. At times characters may become a little out of character. Why? There are twelve Dauntless stuck in an apartment with no doors or windows, being asked to sit for long periods of time reading a book about themselves. I think we would all go a little crazy at times if we were put in that situation. Especially when they are reading about their own deaths.

A big thank you to Paula08 and Lunaschild2016.

Paula08 for her friendship and her help in getting these books typed out. You are the best.

Lunaschild2016 you inspire me every day. Thank you for our chats, your support and most of all thank you for your stories. You know how much I love your ideas, they are truly awesome.

When I decided that I wanted to do a read the books story I knew that I would want to follow through and do all three books. Then I came up with the insane idea to kidnap the characters. Now I have realised that I will need to have these characters get out of the apartment and stop a war. I haven't worked out how I am going to do that just yet. So, over the next two stories I will be putting polls up on my profile page to get a feel for what you would all like to see happen. I will let you know when I am putting one up, so I hope when I do you will go and vote.

Thank you, as always for your amazing support.

DYK

* * *

CHAPTER ONE

FOUR'S POV

I'm starting to wake when I feel warm fingers tracing circles on my chest. I feel the goose bumps as her fingers lightly flutter over my skin. I keep my eyes closed just enjoying the feeling of her touch. Slowly her fingers start to move down tracing my right nipple, a shiver runs through me.

"Tris," I whisper, my voice still heavy from sleep.

"Mmm," she hums as she moves to my left nipple and I feel it start to harden under her touch.

"What are you doing?"

"Exploring," she whispers to me. Like it's a secret that only I'm allowed to know.

"Exploring?" I question as her fingers start to move lower. She is tracing her fingers over my flame tattoo that is on my ribs.

"Mhm," she answers slowly tracing and retracing the tattoo.

I lie here enjoying the feeling her touch is giving me. The power she holds over me is intense. She stops tracing my tattoo and uses the palm of her hand to start rubbing along my abs.

"Are you sure you want to keep this going?" I ask. Not wanting her to stop but not sure she is ready for where her hands are leading her.

"You don't like what I'm doing?" she casually asks but I can hear the uncertainty in her voice.

"I like what you are doing. Very much."

Her hand is now at the top of my shorts. I can feel the hesitation in her movements.

"You don't have to explore any further," I whisper.

"I like exploring Tobias," I can hear the smile in her voice.

Her fingers start to run along the band on the top of my shorts. I feel myself become aroused not just at her touch but the thought of what she may do.

Slowly, tentatively her hand starts to move across my shorts. My breaths become short and shallow. I close my eyes and just enjoy the feeling of her through the thin fabric barrier. Her movements becoming more confident with each stoke.

Then suddenly her movements stop. I open my eyes to see Tris staring at my shorts, her brow is furrowed, like she is debating internally on what she wants to do next.

"Tris," I whisper. She turns and looks me in the eyes. A small smile plays on her face as she moves closer and starts to kiss me. The kiss is sensual and sweet. All her movements have been slow and careful. As we kiss I feel her warm hand back on my skin but now it is moving under the band on my shorts.

My breath hitches as she touches me for the first time. I small moan leaves my lips as her tongue enters my mouth. I've never been touched like this before. With kindness and love, the feeling is overwhelming on so many levels.

"Oh Jesus," I cry out.

"Am I doing this right?" She asks in barely a whisper.

"Yeah," I breathlessly answer. "It's perfect."

Nothing could prepare me for this. Not the few times I had to relieve myself after hours of watching her train. As the days went on her clothes became tighter, showing just how perfectly proportioned she is.

At first, I spent hours trying to punch the feelings she evoked in me away, then I tried cold showers. But neither worked. Eventually I had to resort to touching myself, something that was discouraged in Abnegation but was talked about openly in Dauntless.

Thank God for guy talk I think to myself. Although nobody expressed just how amazing this would be. I focus on her touch but at the same time I'm not focused at all. As she continues to kiss me and stroke me I feel myself getting closer to release. I know the words I am calling out make no sense at all. But they do seem to spur her on, as her movements become quicker, more confident.

I know I won't last much longer, I wish it would never end. My breathing is now erratic, with heavy panting between the sensual kisses that bind our lips. I start to buck into her hand, I can't stop the movement, I am at her mercy.

"Shit, Oh God. Don't stop," I cry out. As my body tenses, the release so near.

"Yes, yes, yes," are my final cries as I fall over the edge and the feeling of pure bliss washes over me.

I lie there panting, coming down from my high. I open my eyes to see Tris staring.

"Thank you," I whisper as I rub my thumb over her cheek.

Tris gives me a small smile, I can see the uncertainty in her eyes. "Are you okay?" I ask.

She nods her head. "I just, I. I didn't, I don't. Did you . . . enjoy that?" She stutters out her face flushed red.

I quickly kiss her, trying to put everything I am feeling in the kiss. I'm not good with words and I hope that this shows her just how much what she did means to me.

We pull away and she says, "you really enjoyed it."

"Yeah I did."

* * *

I'm walking down stairs when I feel something wet hit me. I look at my shirt and what looks like water is sprayed where my heart is.

"Bulls eye," Uriah whoops. He sees the shocked expression on my face and starts to run. He has something in his hand and my first instinct is to chase him.

I jump the bannister and start to chase him. I quickly jump over a couch and tackle him into a bean bag.

"What the hell Uri," I shout as I grab the device that is in his hand. "What is this?"

"Get off me Four," he shouts as he starts to push me away laughing. "It's a water pistol."

"A what?" I ask.

Just as Uriah is about to speak, Zeke, Lynn and Tori come around the corner and start shooting water at Uriah and me. I start to shoot back as Marlene and Shauna join in.

I can hear laughter as I try and roll away from Uriah, who is trying to use me as a shield. "Uriah," I shout but not in anger. I am laughing, I am soaking wet as are the others standing here shooting one another. I can't move properly because I am laughing so much.

Eventually the water runs out and I can finally sit up properly. "Where did you get these from?" I ask.

"A package was here when we got up this morning. We all have gifts. Max was given twelve water pistols. So we decided to play," Zeke tells me with a big grin on his face.

I hear laughter, I turn to see Tris and Christina walking down the stairs laughing at the sight of us. "What have you all been doing?" Tris asks as she walks over and helps me to stand. I go to hug her but she pushes me away.

"You're all wet," she screws up her face as she says it.

"We should have a game of capture the flag," Uriah announces.

"Has everyone opened their presents?" I ask.

"Only Max," Zeke replies. "We found the water pistols and all got distracted."

"We got presents?" Christina asks excitement in her eyes.

"Presents?" Tris asks. "I've never received a present before."

"Tell me you are joking," Marlene looks shocked. "What about your birthday? Christmas?"

"No it was selfish to receive gifts. We always had one day that we didn't have to help to prepare meals or clean-up, which I assumed was my birthday but I never took any notice. At Christmas we would gather for a service with the rest of Abnegation and then spend the day with our families helping to feed and clothe the factionless," Tris tells the group, most stand here with shock written all over their faces.

Marlene is the first to move. "Well Tris," Marlene says, linking her arm with Tris. "I think you should open your gift first. Let's all gather around and see what we got."

The girls are all talking excitedly to each other. I take off my now water riddled shirt.

"Four," Zeke shouts. "Put your shirt back on."

"What? Why? I am soaked," I say with a frown on my face.

"Dude," Zeke exclaims. "No one is going to be looking at their gifts with your chest on display." Zeke is trying to cover Shauna's eyes with his hands.

"Zeke," Shauna calls out. "Move your hands, you idiot."

"No way. Not until Four has his shirt back on," Zeke laughs.

"I'll go and get a new shirt," I mumble, completely embarrassed.

"Wait," Uriah says. "I need one too." Uriah whips off his soaking wet top.

"Bro, not you too," Zeke says. "God, your nearly as buff as Four. What have you two been doing?"

"It's called working out Zeke," Uriah pushes his brother. Zeke loses his balance and starts to fall onto a bean bag taking Shauna with him. Lynn and Christina are laughing their heads off as Uriah quickly runs from the room before his brother can get up and chase him.

* * *

I get back down stairs and find everyone gathered in the lounge room. Where the coffee table used to be is our gifts. The coffee table couldn't be saved after Eric and I smashed into it during our fight.

"I'm going to be Santa," Zeke tells us.

"What's a Santa?" Tris asks.

"You don't know who Santa is?" Lynn scoffs.

"Abnegation remember," I say.

"Santa is an old fat guy with a white beard in a red suit who delivers presents to kids while you are sleeping on Christmas Eve. When you wake up in the morning if you have been good then you got presents from Santa," Eric says, sounding bored.

"They didn't celebrate Christmas in Erudite either?" Uriah asks.

"They did," Will says. "But we didn't have Santa."

"Why wouldn't you have Santa?" Christina asks.

"I'm surprised that Candor would lie to their children about Santa," Eric replies.

"It was a great way for the adults to keep us in line. If we were good we would get a present and if we were bad we would be given truth serum as our gift," Christina tells the group. "Once we were older they told us the truth but they never thought of it as a lie. It was just a bit of fun for the kids."

"When I was a kid," Max starts. "There used to be an old guy from Amity who looked like Santa. He would come into the city and hand out lollies to the kids in each faction the week before Christmas."

"Why'd it stop?" Marlene asks.

"Abnegation," Max spits. "They thought it was selfish to spoil their children with such things while the factionless were going hungry."

"Okay," Zeke says. "Enough dreary. Let's open presents. Tris as you have never received a present before. You can go first."

Zeke walks over and hands Tris a basket wrapped in a tinted blue clear paper. Tris' eyes light up as she takes the gift from Zeke.

We all watch her excitement as she unwraps her gift. I remember when I first came to Dauntless and had never celebrated Christmas. Zeke took me to his mums for the day. Hana cooked us this beautiful meal and then gave us all presents. It was one of my first great memories living in Dauntless.

Tris starts to pull the contents out of the basket. She holds up different bottles to show everyone what she has. "What's bubble bath?" she asks.

"You've never had a bubble bath?" Uriah asks flabbergasted.

Tris just shakes her head as Zeke starts to laugh.

"What's so funny?" I ask.

"Just make sure you don't use the whole bottle at once," Zeke replies between laughs. "Uriah got into mum's bubble bath one day and when we got home we couldn't find him anywhere. Mum opened the bathroom door and found Uriah in the bath with bubbles covering over half the bathroom. If it wasn't for his dark skin I don't think we would have ever found him."

"How would I know how much to use?" Uriah tries to defend himself. "I was like five."

"You were fifteen," Zeke corrects him.

"Well, I like bubble baths," Uriah responds embarrassed.

"So, what is it?" Tris asks again.

"You put some in a bath when you start running the water and the bath fills up with bubbles," Christina replies. "You are going to love it."

"Have you guys got a big bath in your room?" Shauna asks. "Ours is huge, Tris make Four have a bath with you."

"Like that would happen," scoffs Eric. "Remember their both stiffs."

I look at Tris and we both blush remembering what we were doing earlier. I give her a small nervous smile and she smiles back.

"What else is in the basket Tris?" Lynn asks.

"Um, there's massage oil, moisturiser, hand cream. Lots of little packets of stuff. Oh and this," Tris says.

At the bottom of the basket is a black satin robe and slippers.

"Oh," Shauna gasps. "That is awesome."

"It actually looks like all you girls are getting similar," Zeke says as he starts to hand other baskets out to the girls.

Christina and Marlene are both squealing as they start to open their baskets. From what I can see they have the same products as Tris, not that I'd really know they just look similar.

"Look," Marlene squeals. "Candles. Did you all get candles?"

There are nods all around as the girls keep holding up different products and squealing or gushing over what they have received. It's exciting to watch not just Tris but all of them as they talk about what they are going to do with the different products. Tris looks overwhelmed at everything that is going on but at the same time she is laughing and smiling with the others girls.

"Okay, okay," Zeke starts to talk. "Let's start giving out some manly presents now."

"Eric," Zeke says as he passes Eric his present.

We watch as he opens it and out comes a book. Interesting. "You got a book?" Zeke asks sounding shocked.

"It's a cookbook," Eric replies and he sounds happy to have received it.

"Well, that's not very manly," Zeke says with a chuckle.

"It might not be manly to you Zeke," Eric tells him. "But it does mean you will be getting some new dishes to try."

"I can appreciate that you got that gift Eric," Zeke says. "I think we will all be able to enjoy that."

"Four," Zeke hands me my gift.

I unwrap the box to find hair clippers. Thank goodness I think to myself. I can finally cut my hair again.

"You are going to have to let me borrow those," Uriah says.

"You want to borrow my hair clippers?" I ask.

"Yeah. My hair doesn't stay this awesome without the proper care Four," Uriah chuckles as he rubs his hands over his head.

I don't respond. Of course he can borrow them but I really don't want to get into a conversation with Uriah about his hair.

"Will," Zeke says as he passes him what looks like it is probably a book.

Will opens his present to find he has a dessert cookbook. "Oh, is there a Dauntless cake recipe in there? Uriah asks.

"I doubt it Uriah," Max replies.

"Why?" Uriah asks.

"Because the recipe is a guarded secret," Max says. "Even the cooks at Dauntless don't know what's in it."

"Then how do they make it?" I ask.

"It comes from Amity in packets," Max says.

"Why would we let Amity know the ingredients but not our own cooks?" Tori asks.

"I don't know Tori," Max says. "It is how it has been done for over two hundred years. I don't ask I just enjoy."

"It couldn't be that hard to work out, could it?" Uriah asks.

"They don't put peace serum in it, do they?" Zeke asks.

"No peace serum, Zeke," Max answers. "We do have the recipe. It is locked away in the volt for safe keeping."

"Dauntless has a volt?" Tori asks.

"Yes we do. We keep the records of everyone who has ever lived in Dauntless there. We also have weapon designs and a few other top secret items in there," Max proclaims.

"Can I try out some of these recipes?" Tris asks Will.

"Be my guest," Will replies.

"Awesome," shouts Uriah. "I mean it won't be as good as Dauntless cake but it will be nice to have some dessert."

"Max you already opened your present," Zeke tells Max.

"What did Max get?" Christina asks.

"I got twelve water pistols, which I am sure that means that I am supposed to share them around," Max says with a smile. "I also got a note telling me to make sure that I keep them away from Uriah and Zeke when we aren't using them."

"Why would you get a note saying that?" Zeke asks.

"Please," Lynn scoffs. "You would probably try to shoot us with water while we are sleeping. Or worse when we are trying to read these damn books."

"There will be no water pistols around the books," Eric demands.

"Watch out Eric, your Erudite is showing," I tease.

Eric doesn't take the bait and just ignores me.

"What's your present Zeke," Uriah asks.

Zeke picks up the last present. It's a strange shape, no corners or straights. He tears open the paper like a little kid, pieces of paper flying everywhere.

Shauna, Tori and Uriah start laughing their heads off as Zeke holds up what looks like a very old and worn teddy bear.

"Who would give you that?" Christina sounds disgusted.

Zeke holds tightly to his bear as he tells her in a serious voice, "do not upset Captain Snuggles."

"Captain Snuggles?" Eric laughs out loud.

"Hey don't tease just because you are jealous," Zeke jokes. "Do you need a hug Eric?"

"No, eww," Eric looks like he just ate a lemon.

"You don't need to show everyone your tatt now Zeke," Tori teases Zeke.

Uriah and Shauna burst into laughter.

"The tattoo on your butt is that?" Lynn points to Zeke's bear. "What were you thinking?"

"I love my bear," Zeke replies. "Captain Snuggles helped me to deal with a lot."

I can see the Dauntless born all give a small nod, I would assume Zeke is talking about when his dad died, but I would never ask.

"What could you have ever needed it for?" Christina asks. There isn't malice in her voice maybe confusion but I see half the room tense.

Zeke can joke about his dad and the accident that claimed his life but he doesn't like to talk about it very often and it is usually only after he had a few drinks.

"Just drop it Christina," Tris says. She may not know why but she is perceptive and can see that half the room doesn't want to talk about.

"Come on," Christina says in her usual brash way. I don't think she will ever lose her Candor tendencies they are to in-grained in her.

"He helped me when my dad died," Zeke quietly tells the room. There is silence for a minute. No one sure of what to say next.

"Water pistol fight," Uriah shouts.

"Yeah," is called out from over half the room.

"But first," Max says. "Let's clean all this up and put your presents away. Then you can play with your guns."

"Yes Dad," Uriah jokes as we all get up and start cleaning the paper and presents away.

* * *

We are standing down stairs waiting as Max fills the water pistols for us.

"Okay we need some rules," Eric says.

"The kitchen can be a safe zone so you can refill your gun. But you can't hide or linger in there," I say.

"Beds are off limits. I don't want a soggy mattress," Shauna declares.

"Once you are hit you need to sit out for sixty seconds," Zeke suggests.

"What if we have certain areas of the body that are a kill zone or if you get hit to many times you have to sit out," Lynn offers.

"Okay," I say. "What about heart and head and you are out?"

"That sounds fair. How many times can you get hit before you have to sit out?" Tris asks.

"Once you have been hit by three different people then your game is done," Max suggests.

"Who is going to time you while you are sitting out?" Tori asks.

"We will have to use an honesty system until someone is knocked out of the game. Then they can time you. The dining room is for people who have been knocked out or are waiting for their time penalty to be up," I say.

"That sounds good. Now we need two flags," Max says.

"Let's forget about the flag part, see how we go without it. If it doesn't work then next time we will use flags," Eric says.

"Let's do this," Zeke says. "Four and Eric should be team captains."

"You can go first," I tell Eric.

"Tris," Eric says.

"What? No you can't pick Tris," I declare.

"I can and I have. Now pick," Eric states.

"Zeke," I say.

"Don't sound so disappointed," Zeke chuckles as he clasps me on the bag.

"Lynn," Eric says.

"Uriah."

"Tori."

"What's with all the girls Eric?" Zeke asks.

"These three are the smallest here. Which means there is less of them to hit," Eric says. Smart move I think, I still want Tris on my team.

"Max."

We continue picking until the teams look like this: Eric's team: Tris, Lynn, Tori, Marlene and Will. My team: Zeke, Uriah, Max, Shauna and Christina.

"You have five minutes to come up with a game plan. Then you will have thirty seconds to find a place to hide or whatever you want to do. Go!" Eric calls out as we split into our teams to discuss what we are going to do.

"How do you think we should play this Four?" Uriah asks.

"I think we should go on offence. Try to take them out as quickly as possible. Each have a specific target. If we find someone else then take them down while we look for our own target."

"That's a great idea," Zeke says. "So, let's pick who we go after. Four I think you should take Eric."

I really wanted to have to chase Tris. But beating Eric would be great.

"Okay," I say. "Zeke who do you want to go after?"

"I want Lynn," Shauna butts in.

"I want Will," Christina pipes up.

"Does that mean you want Marlene Uriah?" I ask.

"No way. I want Tris. She may have beaten me in the rankings but I'm going to get her now," Uriah explains. The excitement of the game glowing in his eyes as he bounces on his toes. "Plus, Marlene would kill me if I went after her."

"Whipped," Zeke mutters. "I'll take Marlene," Zeke says with a grin.

"Max, you get Tori," I say.

"You have sixty seconds before the game begins," Eric shouts as his team start running in all directions.

"Watch where your opponent goes," I whisper shout, hoping the other team doesn't get what we are doing.

We quickly scatter around the apartment. I didn't realise there would be so many places that you could hide. Eric's not small so he should be easy to hit once I find him. I thought I saw him go up the stairs.

I walk tentatively, watching that no one jumps out and shoots me. I hear cries from down the stairs, sounds like someone has been knocked out of the game but I'm not sure who. Whoever gave us these presents sure knew the best thing to keep a dozen Dauntless occupied. It feels good to have a moment in time where we aren't concentrating on the books.

Uriah jumps out but stops when he realises it's me. "Have you seen anyone I ask?" I mouth.

Uriah just shakes his head. Next minute a hear Uriah squeal as Tris has shot him in the back of his head. She starts to laugh as she runs back down the hall way.

"Damn it Tris," Uriah groans as he lowers his weapon and starts to make his way down the corridor.

"Wait," I call out and move towards him. "Give me your gun," I say.

"Good thinking Four," Uriah says as he gets a big grin on his face.

I keep walking down the hall when I hear movement in Uriah and Marlene's bedroom. I just start shooting and next thing I hear is a small yelp. "Stop, you got me," Marlene calls out.

Marlene storms past me not looking happy. I didn't get a kill shot but she will be out of the game for a minute. Zeke jogs up next to me. "You got my target," he says.

"I didn't know who it was I just started shooting," I reply.

"I saw Uriah sulking in the dining room," Zeke laughs.

"Tris got him with a head shot," I chuckle.

"Now I understand why he looked so upset. You don't think he will keep trying to be competitive with her do you?"

I know he is talking about Tris and Uriah and comparing them to Eric and I. "No, they have become great friends. I think it will be forgotten as soon as we finish the game. It would be better if we won though."

"Yeah I agree."

We start to enter the different bedrooms hoping to find someone. We walk into Christina and Will's room. I point to Zeke to check the bathroom and as he walks in he shouts, "shit!"

I hear Eric chuckle as I walk up behind Zeke using him as a shield and I hit him straight in the heart.

"You're out," I say with a grin on my face.

"Awesome," Eric mumbles as he and Zeke make their way downstairs. Eric is out of the game but Zeke is just in a time out.

The game goes for another half an hour. The only people left in the game are me, Lynn and Tris. Uriah has pulled the cards out that he got as a present and he is playing some card game with Zeke, Marlene and Tori.

I haven't seen Tris since she first hit Uriah. Which means she must be upstairs. Lynn has been running all over the house, never staying still for very long. Tris must have found some place to hide.

"Tris, Lynn," Eric shouts. "There is only Four left."

"You can't help them," Zeke whines.

"Why not? There was no rule for that," Eric states.

"Can we go and watch? It looks like they are all upstairs," Christina asks.

"No," Eric says. "I don't want you getting in the way."

"It's only a game Eric," Christina grumbles.

"I don't care, I want to win," Eric proclaims.

I walk further along the corridor and can only just hear the others talking down stairs. I can't make out what they are saying but there is a lot of laughing going on.

I see Lynn run from Marlene's room into Eric's room and I give chase. She is standing completely still as I walk in the room shooting water at her. I get the kill shot but before she moves Tris jumps out from behind her and shoots me straight in the face with water.

Lynn and Tris start cheering as I stand there stunned. They start to move towards the door when Tris stops in front of me and kisses me on the lips. With a smile on her face she whispers, "sorry Tobias."

I know she's not really sorry as she runs out the room with Lynn laughing and cheering. I hear them run down the stairs shouting, "We won, we won."

I slowly make my way down the stairs and Zeke is standing with his hands on his hips. "What the hell Four? You let two girls beat you."

"Yeah and how did you get taken out?" I ask.

He mumbles something incoherent and then says, "but your Four. You're not supposed to lose."

"Too bad Zeke," Eric says. "Better luck next time." Then starts to walk away laughing.

I don't care, we had a lot of fun and watching everyone laughing and joking is a nice change to the feelings that have been in the house the last few days. I've still got the three wins against Eric in capture the flag.

* * *

I spend the next couple of hours in the training room with Zeke and Uriah. The girls are explaining to Tris and Lynn what the products in their gift baskets are used for. It seems Lynn is almost as clueless as Tris when it comes to pampering yourself. Or so the girls told me. I have no clue and Zeke and Uriah didn't want to hang around to find out either.

"Who do you think put us here?" Zeke asks.

"I don't know," I answer. I am sure Tori knows but I don't say anything. I think that if they knew that she knows something then she would be hounded into telling. Or worse. I have no idea what Eric or even Max might do if they thought she knew something.

"It's just," Zeke says. "They would need to know me well."

"Why do you think that? You know almost everyone in the compound."

"Exactly, but not many people know about Captain Snuggles."

"Everyone who has ever seen you do a nudie run of the pit knows about your bear," Uriah chuckles.

"Yeah but they wouldn't know that I still own the bear. And it was at mum's place. They would have had to get into her place to take it. Do you think they would harm her?"

"Zeke stop worrying. Hana is more than capable of looking after herself. I don't think these people would harm her, not Hana," I say.

"But," Zeke says.

"Stop," I tell him. "You will make yourself sick worrying about things you have no control over."

"But it's my mum," he says.

"Zeke, please," I beg. "Nothing bad would happen to Hana. I think we have enough to worry about."

"How are we going to stop this?" Uriah asks.

"I don't know. But we are going to need to come up with something before we leave here," I say.

"It's all becoming real now, isn't it?" Zeke says.

"Yeah it is. I think it is going to get a lot worse before it gets better. Look how everyone reacted to Will dying. There is another seven people who are supposed to die," I say.

"I don't want to think about it," Uriah says. "I hope that if I lose everyone that I love that I go too."

"Don't say that," Zeke moans. "I don't want to hear stuff like that Uriah."

"Fine but tell me you're not thinking the same thing," Uriah says.

"I don't know what to think," Zeke says. "I just keep hoping that we read the letter wrong and that we don't have to hear about anyone else dying."

"I don't think that is going to be the case," I say. "I think we are going to have a lot more tears in that room then we do laughter."

"We will just have to have more water pistol fights then," Zeke smiles.

Uriah and I just nod. More water pistol fights sounds good to me.

"Dinner's almost ready," Shauna tells us as she walks into the training room. "You might want to have showers before. You all stink."

* * *

I walk into our bathroom and there are bubbles everywhere. "Tris," I call out.

"Yeah," she answers.

"Where are you?"

"I'm in the bath."

I see a hand start waving and I follow it over. I look down and Tris has bubbles above her head and all around her. I can't help but laugh. "Did you let Uriah pour the stuff in?" I ask jokingly.

"It said to put a cap full. But Christina and Marlene both said to put two. I only put two cap fulls in and this is what happened," she laughs.

"So, do you like bubble baths?" I ask as I sit on the edge of the bath.

"Are you kidding? This is the best thing," she says with a huge smile on her face. "We really missed out on a lot growing up in Abnegation."

"We did."

"But I still miss the simplicity. Is that silly?"

"No. I don't think it's silly. I like to think that it lets us appreciate what we have now. Enjoy moments like these, especially with everything that is happening."

"Do you think we will be able to stop it?"

"I don't know Tris but we will do whatever we can to try. I need a shower. Do you mind if I have one while you are in the bath?"

"No. You really do stink," she says with a laugh.

"Thanks, Shauna told us the same thing."

"What have you been doing?"

"Training with Uriah and Zeke. It was fun."

* * *

We get back to our room after dinner and I decide to take the clippers out of their box. As the clippers come out so does an envelope. It has mine and Tris' name on it.

"Tris, come look at this," I say.

"What is it?"

"Another letter. It's addressed to both of us."

Tris takes the envelope out of my hand and opens it. She pulls the letter from the envelope and starts to read.

"Dear Four and Tris,

The next book is going to be hard on both of you. Remember when I told you that you are stronger together? Well, now is the time that you need to remember this. You need to keep training. You need to try and find a way that we can stop this before it happens.

We will be doing all that we can to make that happen from Dauntless. We already have people who want to help us stop this war from happening. Watch the people around you, learning the truth may turn your friends into enemies, it could also turn your enemies into friends. Be careful with who you trust.

I'm sorry that we have had to put you in this position. We only want to save as many people as we can and we believe that you are both the key to this happening. We won't be letting you go once you finish the third book. We will need you to try and come up with a plan before you leave the house.

Max and Eric are going to want to turn anyone who is Divergent over to Jeanine as soon as you are released from the apartment. We are trying to put a plan together so that won't happen. But we need you to try and convince them otherwise. Good luck with that!

We have another safe house set up. We can take whoever you trust to that safe house once you leave here, if we have too. This will be our best way to fight the coming war and to bring Jeanine down. Once the books are read give Tori the names of the people you think you can trust. Thank you for not letting the others know our identities. It will be safer for all if we can keep it that way. Stay strong. Be brave."

"That's it," Tris says as she finishes reading.

"What do you think?" I ask.

"I'm worried."

"About the war?"

"No about the books. What is going to happen that we need to be told to remember that we are stronger together?"

"I don't know. But you are right, it is worrying."

"I don't know if I can handle this Tobias."

"Tris, you are the strongest person I know. We can do this. We just need to keep remembering that it hasn't happened yet."

"I don't understand why Max and Eric are doing this? Jeanine I sort of get, but Max and Eric. I thought Eric would be smarter than this."

"Eric wanted to be leader more than anything. I think the power has got to him. But Max, I don't know. I wonder if we will ever know. He hasn't said much and isn't giving anything away. To have so much blood on his hands, he better have a good reason."

* * *

 _A/N: Just a quick shout out to Ifdy and divergentpanda46. thank you for offering to help with typing out the books, it was a really kind gesture and I appreciated the offer but as you both know I already have it done._


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: THANK YOU! I have received an amazing response to the first chapter. You guys rock. Time to start reading the book. Enjoy;)

* * *

CHAPTER TWO

FOUR'S POV

"Time to start the new book," Uriah announces after lunch.

We have decided to not read the book until after lunch. Have the mornings free to do whatever we want. I plan on spending as much time as possible in the training room.

"Here's the book Will," I hand the book to Will and he quickly opens the book and starts to read.

 **CHAPTER ONE**

 **I wake with his name in my mouth.**

 _ **Will.**_

 **Before I open my eyes, I watch him crumple to the pavement again. Dead.**

 **My doing.**

"Tris I think you need to get over what you did?" Lynn says.

"Why should she?" Christina snaps.

"What would you have done Christina?" Lynn asks.

"Like she said, she could have shot him in the arm or something," Christina says.

"Did you listen to what happened in the last few chapters of the other book?" Zeke asks. "Unless it was a head shot, they keep coming at you. Even if she had shot him in the arm he would have kept coming at her. You should be blaming Cara, it's his sister who created this mess."

I didn't realise that Zeke would be taking so much notice of what was happening in the books. I think I may have underestimated him. Will is staying extremely quiet over the whole matter. I'd be interested to know what he thinks of it all.

 **Tobias crouches in front of me, his hand on my left shoulder. The train car bumps over the rails, and Marcus, Peter, and Caleb stand by the doorway. I take a deep breath and hold it in an attempt to relieve some of the pressure that is building in my chest.**

"I can't believe you are stuck with Peter," Uriah comments. "I'm glad they didn't lock him in this place with us."

 **An hour ago, nothing that happened felt real to me. Now it does.**

 **I breathe out, and the pressure is still there.**

" **Tris, come on," Tobias says, his eyes searching mine. "We have to jump."**

 **It is too dark to see where we are, but if we are getting off, we are probably close to the fence. Tobias helps me to my feet and guides me toward the doorway.**

"I bet you would be wishing the train would stop. Like it did in initiation," Shauna says.

 **The others jump off one by one: Peter first, then Marcus, then Caleb. I take Tobias's hand. The wind picks up as we stand at the edge of the car opening, like a hand pushing me back, toward safety.**

 **But we launch ourselves into darkness and land hard on the ground. The impact hurts the bullet wound in my shoulder. I bite my lip to keep from crying out, and search for my brother.**

" **Okay?" I say when I see him sitting in the grass a few feet away, rubbing his knee.**

 **He nods. I hear him sniff like he's fending off tears, and I have to turn away.**

 **We landed in the grass near the fence, several yards away from the worn path that the Amity trucks travel to deliver food to the city, and the gate that lets them out—the gate that is currently shut, locking us in. The fence towers over us, too high and flexible to climb over, too sturdy to knock down.**

" **There are supposed to be Dauntless guards here," says Marcus. "Where are they?"**

" **They were probably under the simulation," Tobias says, "and are now ..." He pauses. "Who knows where, doing who knows what."**

"Did Marcus expect that they would just go back to work after what happened?" Zeke asks. "He really is an idiot."

"I wonder how long until we find out what happened to us," Marlene says.

"Sometimes not knowing is better Mar," Uriah tells her.

"Maybe," Marlene replies.

 **We stopped the simulation—the weight of the hard drive in my back pocket reminds me—but we didn't pause to see the aftermath. What happened to our friends, our peers, our leaders, our factions? There is no way to know.**

"At least Tris is thinking about us?" Uriah smiles.

"What good is that," Lynn says. "It's not like she is in such a great state of mind right now."

"This is just strange," Tris whispers. I look at her confused. "They are all commenting about things we haven't done yet, like it has."

"Yeah. But I guess it's their way of coping with what could happen," I say.

 **Tobias approaches a small metal box on the right side of the gate and opens it, revealing a keypad.**

" **Let's hope the Erudite didn't think to change this combination," he says as he types in a series of numbers. He stops at the eighth one, and the gate clicks open.**

" **How did you know that?" says Caleb. His voice sounds thick with emotion, so thick I am surprised it does not choke him on the way out.**

" **I worked in the Dauntless control room, monitoring the security system. We only change the codes twice a year," Tobias says.**

" **How lucky," says Caleb. He gives Tobias a wary look.**

" **Luck has nothing to do with it," Tobias says. "I only worked there because I wanted to make sure I could get out."**

"We will have to remember to change that," Max says.

"You want to change Four's job?" Uriah questions.

"The codes," Eric says as he shakes his head at Uriah.

 **I shiver. The way he talks about getting out—it's like he thinks we're trapped. I never thought about it that way before, and now that seems foolish.**

"Why are we locked in?" Tori asks.

"It has always been that way," Max says. "It isn't something we've ever worried about."

"Maybe you should be," Tori says.

 **We walk in a small pack, Peter cradling his bloody arm to his chest—the arm that I shot—and Marcus with his hand on Peter's shoulder, keeping him stable. Caleb wipes his cheeks every few seconds, and I know he's crying but I don't know how to comfort him, or why I am not crying myself.**

 **Instead I take the lead, Tobias silent at my side, and though he does not touch me, he steadies me.**

"Marcus is good at playing the part," Zeke says. "He acts all caring toward a psychopath like Peter but puts his on kid through hell."

"There's a page break," Will tells us.

 **Pinpricks of light are the first sign that we are nearing Amity headquarters. Then squares of light that turn into glowing windows. A cluster of wooden and glass buildings.**

Zeke starts laughing.

"What's so funny?" Uriah asks.

"Four is staying in Amity," Zeke says. He is laughing so much he has fallen off the couch. Which just makes everyone laugh at him and takes the attention away from me. _I wonder how I am going to cope with Amity?_

 **Before we can reach them, we have to walk through an orchard. My feet sink into the ground, and above me, the branches grow into one another, forming a kind of tunnel. Dark fruit hangs among the leaves, ready to drop. The sharp, sweet smell of rotting apples mixes with the scent of wet earth in my nose.**

"Why would there be rotting apples?" Eric says. "Shouldn't they be collecting the fruit before that happens? I'm sure the other factions would want to know that Amity are leaving food to rot."

"Maybe you should go and help them pick the fruit," Tori says. By her tone you know she would love nothing better than for him to go to Amity and leave Dauntless for good.

 **When we get close, Marcus leaves Peter's side and walks in front. "I know where to go," he says.**

"Of course, he does," Eric sneers.

 **He leads us past the first building to the second one on the left. All the buildings except the greenhouses are made of the same dark wood, unpainted, rough. I hear laughter through an open window. The contrast between the laughter and the stone stillness within me is jarring.**

 **Marcus opens one of the doors. I would be shocked by the lack of security if we were not at Amity headquarters. They often straddle the line between trust and stupidity.**

"It can take them months to let us know when a camera goes down in their compound," Zeke says.

"Does Dauntless look after all the cameras in the city?" Will asks.

"Outside we do. Each faction has their own team for inside their compounds. We are in charge of fixing any that may be broken or need replacing," Zeke replies.

"You would think Erudite would want to be in control of fixing cameras," Tris says.

"That job is beneath them," Zeke says rolling his eyes. "Or so they think."

"Too busy trying to take control of the other factions you mean," Tori snaps.

 **In this building the only sound is of our squeaking shoes. I don't hear Caleb crying anymore, but then, he was quiet about it before.**

 **Marcus stops before an open room, where Johanna Reyes, representative of Amity, sits, staring out the window. I recognize her because it is hard to forget Johanna's face, whether you've seen her once or a thousand times. A scar stretches in a thick line from just above her right eyebrow to her lip, rendering her blind in one eye and giving her a lisp when she talks. I have only heard her speak once, but I remember. She would have been a beautiful woman if not for that scar.**

"Does anyone know what happened to her?" Shauna asks.

Everyone shakes their heads in a no.

" **Oh, thank God," she says when she sees Marcus. She walks toward him with her arms open. Instead of embracing him, she just touches his shoulders, like she remembers the Abnegation's distaste for casual physical contact.**

" **The other members of your party got here a few hours ago, but they weren't sure if you had made it," she says. She is referring to the group of Abnegation who were with my father and Marcus in the safe house. I didn't even think to worry about them.**

 **She looks over Marcus's shoulder, first at Tobias and Caleb, then at me, then at Peter.**

" **Oh my," she says, her eyes lingering on the blood soaking Peter's shirt. "I'll send for a doctor. I can grant you all permission to stay the night, but tomorrow, our community must decide together. And"—she eyes Tobias and me—"they will likely not be enthusiastic about a Dauntless presence in our compound. I of course ask you to turn over any weapons you might have."**

"They are such hypocrites," Eric says. "They keep asking for extra security around the fence but don't want any Dauntless in the compound. They use firearms in Amity all the time."

"They do?" Will asks.

"Yeah they do. We usually send Lauren out to teach the farmers in case they need to put an animal down."

"Why not Four?" Zeke asks.

"They asked for a woman. Thought their members would feel less intimidated or some crap like that," Max scoffs.

"Could you imagine Four having to deal with Amity?" Zeke laughs.

"It couldn't be as bad as it is when they have had to deal with Eric," Max says with a laugh.

 **I wonder, suddenly, how she knows that I am Dauntless. I am still wearing a gray shirt. My father's shirt.**

 **At that moment, his smell, which is an even mixture of soap and sweat, wafts upward, and it fills my nose, fills my entire head with him. I clench my hands so hard into fists that my fingernails cut into my skin.** _ **Not here. Not here.**_

 **Tobias hands over his gun, but when I reach behind me to take out my own concealed weapon, he grabs my hand, guiding it away from my back. Then he laces his fingers with mine to cover up what he just did.**

"Good move," Lynn says with a grin.

 **I know it's smart to keep one of our guns. But it would have been a relief to hand it over.**

" **My name is Johanna Reyes," she says, extending her hand to me, and then Tobias. A Dauntless greeting. I am impressed by her awareness of the customs of other factions. I always forget how considerate the Amity are until I see it for myself.**

" **This is T—" Marcus starts, but Tobias interrupts him.**

" **My name is Four," he says. "This is Tris, Caleb, and Peter."**

 **A few days ago, "Tobias" was a name only I knew, among the Dauntless; it was the piece of himself that he gave me. Outside Dauntless headquarters, I remember why he hid that name from the world. It binds him to Marcus.**

" **Welcome to the Amity compound." Johanna's eyes fix on my face, and she smiles crookedly. "Let us take care of you."**

"She's smiling crookedly because she ate too much of that damn bread with dinner," Eric says.

"There's a page break," Will says.

 **We do let them. An Amity nurse gives me a salve—developed by Erudite to speed healing—to put on my shoulder, and then escorts Peter to the hospital ward to mend his arm. Johanna takes us to the cafeteria, where we find some of the Abnegation who were in the safe house with Caleb and my father. Susan is there, and some of our old neighbors, and rows of wooden tables as long as the room itself. They greet us—especially Marcus—with held-in tears and suppressed smiles.**

"Wouldn't it be healthier to let the emotion out?" Marlene asks. "It must be so frustrating to have to hold back how you are feeling all the time."

"You have no idea," Tris replies.

 **I cling to Tobias's arm. I sag under the weight of the members of my parents' faction, their lives, their tears.**

 **One of the Abnegation puts a cup of steaming liquid under my nose and says, "Drink this. It will help you sleep as it helped some of the others sleep. No dreams."**

"Where do they get this stuff from?" Zeke asks. "Although I like my dreams, so I probably wouldn't want it. But they have peace serum."

"Well what else have they got to do all day," Eric sneers. He doesn't seem to like the Amity very much. "How do you think they can all stand being there? They drug them to be happy all day and then they drug them at night so they don't have a nightmare about how horrible their lives are because they know they couldn't possibly be this happy all the time. It's just one drug fucked life. You think Jeanine wanting to keep you under simulation is bad, well Amity is like that all the time if you think about it."

"But the members choose to be there Eric," I say. "They aren't being held against their will to murder people."

 **The liquid is pink-red, like strawberries. I grab the cup and drink it fast. For a few seconds the heat from the liquid makes me feel like I am full of something again. And as I drain the last drops from the cup, I feel myself relaxing. Someone leads me down the hallway, to a room with a bed in it. That is all.**

"Tris, you were awfully quick to drink that stuff," Christina says.

"I'm sure if you were there, on that day, you would be asking for two cups Christina," Tris replies with a fake smile. I think she has had enough of Christina judging her.

"That's the end of the chapter. Do you want a quick break or do you want me to keep reading?" Will asks.

"Bathroom break," Lynn says.

"If Will is doing all the reading," Uriah says. "Does that mean we can drink in here?"

"What do you want Uriah?" Eric asks.

"I want Tris to make her hot chocolate," Uriah says and then gives Tris a big grin.

"Does anyone else want hot chocolate?" Tris asks.

Everyone who is still in the room has raised their hands.

"I'll help," Uriah volunteers and runs off to the kitchen with Tris.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed. I can't thank you enough for your support. Also to everyone who has favourite or followed thank you.

I have just put a poll up on my profile page. Would love if you could take the time to answer it. If you are a guest, I'm sorry but the site won't allow you to vote, so get yourselves a log in and start voting. You don't have to be a writer to have a log in.

Once again thank you for all you support. Here is the next chapter.

* * *

CHAPTER THREE

FOUR'S POV

Once everyone is seated again Will starts to read the next chapter.

 **CHAPTER TWO**

 **I open my eyes, terrified, my hands clutching at the sheets. But I am not running through the streets of the city or the corridors of Dauntless headquarters. I am in a bed in Amity headquarters, and the smell of sawdust is in the air.**

"That would be enough to terrorise me," Lynn says.

"Don't think you can handle all the happy people Lynn?" Tris teases.

"Ha, don't start Tris," Lynn says with a laugh. "I bet you will get yourself in trouble with the Amity within this next chapter."

"I disagree," Christina says. "I think she will get on well with the Amity."

"Why do you think that Christina?" Uriah asks.

"Well she wasn't very good in the fights or shooting. Amity are all about peace, so I think she will like it there," Christina says.

"Did you forget about her head shot to _your_ boy?" Eric asks.

"Could have been a fluke," Christina shrugs.

"Okay, hands up who agrees with Lynn," Zeke says. All but Christina and Will hold up their hands.

"Looks like it's just the two of you," Zeke says pointing between Will and Christina.

"I bet Will only agreed because he doesn't want to upset Christina," Marlene says.

"Does it matter?" I ask. "Just let it go."

 **I shift, and wince as something digs into my back. I reach behind me, and my fingers wrap around the gun.**

 **For a moment I see Will standing before me, both our guns between us—** _ **his hand, I could have shot his hand, why didn't I, why?—**_ **and I almost scream his name.**

 **Then he's gone.**

 **I get out of bed and lift the mattress with one hand, propping it up on my knee. Then I shove the gun beneath it and let the mattress bury it. Once it is out of sight and no longer pressed to my skin, my head feels clearer.**

"Do you think we are feeling like this?" Marlene asks.

"What do you mean?" Lynn asks.

"After being in the simulation and killing people. Do you think we are going to be this upset?"

"I hope not," Lynn replies. "It will be a long bloody story to have to listen too if we are."

"But she should feel guilty," Christina whines. "She wasn't in the simulation. She chose to kill him."

"Are you ever going to let this go Christina?" Lynn asks. "Because you are really starting to grate on my nerves."

"I'd like to see how you would react if it was _your_ boyfriend," Christina snaps.

"Yeah that won't be happening," Lynn scoffs.

"So Will, what are you thinking about it?" Zeke asks.

"I'm trying not to," Will says. "I don't think Tris would have done it if she felt she had a choice. I don't know, I think I am just hoping that I can stop it from happening for real."

"See Christina," Lynn says. "Will is understanding it. Why can't you?"

Silence. That is all there is. I don't think I've ever been more grateful for it than I am in this moment. I understand why Christina is upset but it hasn't happened yet and she needs to tone down her hostility.

"Just read," I tell Will.

 **Now that the adrenaline rush of yesterday is gone, and whatever made me sleep has worn off, the deep ache and shooting pains of my shoulder are intense. I am wearing the same clothes I wore last night. The corner of the hard drive peeks out from under my pillow, where I shoved it right before I fell asleep. On it is the simulation data that controlled the Dauntless, and the record of what the Erudite did. It feels too important for me to even touch, but I can't leave it here, so I grab it and wedge it between the dresser and the wall. Part of me thinks it would be a good idea to destroy it, but I know it contains the only record of my parents' deaths, so I'll settle for keeping it hidden.**

 **Someone knocks on my door. I sit on the edge of the bed and try to smooth my hair down.**

" **Come in," I say.**

 **The door opens, and Tobias steps halfway in, the door dividing his body in half. He wears the same jeans as yesterday, but a dark red T-shirt instead of his black one, probably borrowed from one of the Amity. It's a strange color on him, too bright, but when he leans his head back against the doorframe, I see that it makes the blue in his eyes lighter.**

"Dauntless wear red," Shauna says.

"When was the last time you saw Four wearing red Shauna?" Lynn asks.

"Never, he only ever wears black," she replies.

"Maybe you should try other colours Four," Marlene says.

I hear Tris trying to stifle a laugh.

"What's so funny?" I ask her.

"I just can't imagine you wearing red. Especially Amity red, no matter how much it makes your eyes lighter," Tris says.

"Yes I always try to think of how the colours will make my eyes look," I say sarcastically.

Tris and Zeke burst out laughing while Shauna and Marlene keep discussing how it would be nice for me to try other colours.

"Just read Will," Max says. "Not all of us want to hear about the colour of Four's eyes."

" **The Amity are meeting in a half hour." He quirks his eyebrows and adds, with a touch of melodrama, "** _ **To decide our fate**_ **."**

 **I shake my head. "Never thought my fate would be in the hands of a bunch of Amity."**

" **Me either. Oh, I brought you something." He unscrews the cap of a small bottle and holds out a dropper filled with clear liquid. "Pain medicine. Take a dropperful every six hours."**

" **Thanks." I squeeze the dropper into the back of my throat. The medicine tastes like old lemon.**

"Do you think their pain medication would be as good as the stuff we get at Dauntless?" Zeke asks.

"Probably depends if they lace it with peace serum," Eric replies.

"Tris do you think if all this does happen that you could bring me back some peace serum?" Zeke asks.

"Sure Zeke," Tris says. "I'm sure my first thought will be that I need to get Zeke some peace serum."

 **He hooks a thumb in one of his belt loops and says, "How are you, Beatrice?"**

"Ha, Beatrice," Lynn snorts. "It just doesn't sound right."

" **Did you just call me Beatrice?"**

" **Thought I would give it a try." He smiles. "Not good?"**

" **Maybe on special occasions only. Initiation days, Choosing Days ..." I pause. I was about to rattle off a few more holidays, but only the Abnegation celebrate them. The Dauntless have holidays of their own, I assume, but I don't know what they are. And anyway, the idea that we would celebrate anything right now is so ludicrous I don't continue.**

"What other holidays does Dauntless celebrate?" Will asks.

"We celebrate New Year's Day, Christmas Day, Halloween. We also have Faction Day, Choosing Day and New Members Day," Max says. "Although we celebrate New Year's Day by having a huge New Year's Eve party."

"What day is Faction Day," Tris asks. "We never had that day in Abnegation."

"It's the Fourth of July. In olden days it was called Independence Day then when they created the factions they decided to start the faction system on that day," Tori says.

"What about Halloween? What is that?" Tris asks.

"That is the best," Uriah says eyes wide. "Halloween is on the 31st of October and we all dress up in costumes and go trick or treating. And the best part is that the cooks make Dauntless cake in different flavours."

"What is trick or treating?" Tris asks.

"Well you go door knocking and when the person answers the door they give you a treat, like lollies but if they don't give you a treat then you get to play a trick on them," Lynn says. "Do you remember when that cranky lady that lives near Hana didn't give Uriah and Zeke a treat?" Lynn is rolling around her bean bag laughing.

"What happened?" I ask.

"We painted a smiley face on her door and set up this recording device that every time she opened her door it would start laughing."

"I should have known that was you two," Max says. "We could not find a way to shut that thing up or how to remove it."

"How did you end up stopping it?" Will asks.

"We shot it," Max chuckles. "If you look carefully when you pass by you can still faintly see the happy face on the door. Even though it has been painted over numerous times."

" **It's a deal." His smile fades. "How are you, Tris?"**

 **It's not a strange question, after what we've been through, but I tense up when he asks it, worried that he'll somehow see into my mind. I haven't told him about Will yet. I want to, but I don't know how. Just the thought of saying the words out loud makes me feel so heavy I could break through the floorboards.**

" **I'm ..." I shake my head a few times. "I don't know, Four. I'm awake. I ..." I am still shaking my head. He slides his hand over my cheek, one finger anchored behind my ear. Then he tilts his head down and kisses me, sending a warm ache through my body. I wrap my hands around his arm, holding him there as long as I can. When he touches me, the hollowed-out feeling in my chest and stomach is not as noticeable.**

"You just called him Four," Shauna says. "You haven't done that for a while."

 **I don't have to tell him. I can just try to forget—he can help me forget.**

"I bet he can," Zeke raises his eyebrows at Tris.

" **I know," he says. "Sorry. I shouldn't have asked."**

 **For a moment all I can think is,** _ **How could you possibly know**_ **? But something about his expression reminds me that he does know something about loss. He lost his mother when he was young. I don't remember how she died, just that we attended her funeral.**

 **Suddenly I remember him clutching the curtains in his living room, about nine years old, wearing gray, his dark eyes shut. The image is fleeting, and it could be my imagination, not a memory.**

"Was it a memory or her imagination?" Zeke asks.

"Memory," I say. I don't want to say anymore. I remember I tried to hide behind the curtains where no one would bother me. I hated all the people in our house, the way Marcus soaked up the sympathy. I hate thinking about it even more now, it was one of the most horrible days of my life and she wasn't even dead. I wonder how many people in that room knew she was alive?

"Do you remember Tris from that day?" Zeke asks.

I nod. I do remember her. Tris was sitting with her brother Caleb on an armchair because they both fit in the one chair. She kept looking over at me and I would hide behind the curtain. Until Caleb chastised her for staring. I remember she looked away and then took one last look at me. She gave me a small smile and then turned away blushing. She was the only person in that room who acknowledge me that day.

 **He releases me. "I'll let you get ready."**

"Page break," Will tells us.

 **The women's bathroom is two doors down. The floor is dark brown tile, and each shower stall has wooden walls and a plastic curtain separating it from the central aisle. A sign on the back wall says REMEMBER: TO CONSERVE RESOURCES, SHOWERS RUN FOR ONLY FIVE MINUTES.**

"That would be annoying," Marlene says.

 **The stream of water is cold,**

"COLD!" Marlene shouts. "That would be horrible. Imagine what it would be like in winter?"

"I think they would be so glad to get the dirt off from farming the land that they wouldn't care that it was cold," Eric says.

"They think Dauntless is cruel," Christina says. "Imagine only being able to have a five minute shower and it's cold. No wonder they drug their members."

 **The stream of water is cold, so I wouldn't want the extra minutes even if I could have them. I wash quickly with my left hand, leaving my right hand hanging at my side. The pain medicine Tobias gave me worked fast—the pain in my shoulder has already faded to a dull throb.**

 **When I get out of the shower, a stack of clothes waits on my bed. It contains some yellow and red, from the Amity, and some gray, from the Abnegation, colors I rarely see side by side. If I had to guess, I would say that one of the Abnegation put the stack there for me. It's something they would think to do.**

 **I pull on a pair of dark red pants made of denim—so long I have to roll them up three times—and a gray Abnegation shirt that is too big for me. The sleeves come down to my fingertips, and I roll them up too. It hurts to move my right hand, so I keep the movements small and slow.**

"I'm glad you didn't put anything yellow on," Christina says. "I don't think yellow would be your colour."

 **Someone knocks on the door. "Beatrice?" The soft voice is Susan's.**

 **I open the door for her. She carries a tray of food, which she sets down on the bed. I search her face for a sign of what she has lost—her father, an Abnegation leader, didn't survive the attack—but I see only the placid determination characteristic of my old faction.**

" **I'm sorry the clothes don't fit," she says. "I'm sure we can find some better ones for you if the Amity allow us to stay." "They're fine," I say. "Thank you."**

" **I heard you were shot. Do you need my help with your hair? Or your shoes?"**

 **I am about to refuse, but I really do need help.**

" **Yes, thank you."**

 **I sit down on a stool in front of the mirror, and she stands behind me, her eyes dutifully trained on the task at hand rather than her reflection. They do not lift, not even for an instant, as she runs a comb through my hair. And she doesn't ask about my shoulder, how I was shot, what happened when I left the Abnegation safe house to stop the simulation. I get the sense that if I were to whittle her down to her core, she would be Abnegation all the way through.**

" **Have you seen Robert yet?" I say. Her brother, Robert, chose Amity when I chose Dauntless, so he is somewhere in this compound. I wonder if their reunion will be anything like Caleb's and mine.**

"That's the guy who talked to you when we were at the fence," Christina says.

Tris just nods.

" **Briefly, last night," she says. "I left him to grieve with his faction as I grieve with mine. It is nice to see him again, though."**

 **I hear a finality in her tone that tells me the subject is closed.**

"That seems ridiculous," Lynn says. "I know we all go by faction before blood but you think under the circumstances they would want to spend some time together."

"They can't Lynn," Eric says, no emotion in his voice. "They would look like faction traitors if they did."

"It's not like there is a faction for Abnegation anymore though," Lynn retorts.

" **It's a shame this happened when it did," Susan says. "Our leaders were about to do something wonderful."**

"Wonderful, pfft," Max scoffs.

"Do you know what it is?" I ask.

"No," Max says. "I only know that Erudite want it."

" **Really? What?"**

" **I don't know." Susan blushes. "I just knew that something was happening. I didn't mean to be curious; I just noticed things."**

" **I wouldn't blame you for being curious even if you had been."**

 **She nods and keeps combing. I wonder what the Abnegation leaders—including my father—were doing. And I can't help but marvel at Susan's assumption that whatever they were doing was wonderful. I wish I could believe that of people again.**

 **If I ever did.**

"You would have been the first Abnegation to fail initiation if you had stayed Tris," Uriah says with a laugh.

"It's not funny Uriah," Tris says. "It was a strong possibility."

"They would have given you an exemption," Eric says.

"Why do you think that?" Tris asks.

"Well, they tried to get you back after you transferred. They wouldn't let you fail. I don't think that they would let anyone fail."

" **The Dauntless wear their hair down, right?" she says.**

" **Sometimes," I say. "Do you know how to braid?"**

 **So her deft fingers tuck pieces of my hair into one braid that tickles the middle of my spine. I stare hard at my reflection until she finishes. I thank her when she's done, and she leaves with a small smile, closing the door behind her.**

 **I keep staring, but I don't see myself. I can still feel her fingers brushing the back of my neck, so much like my mother's fingers, the last morning I spent with her. My eyes wet with tears, I rock back and forth on the stool, trying to push the memory from my mind. I am afraid that if I start to sob, I will never stop until I shrivel up like a raisin.**

"Like a raisin," Lynn laughs. "You say the strangest things Tris."

 **I see a sewing kit on the dresser. In it are two colors of thread, red and yellow, and a pair of scissors.**

 **I feel calm as I undo the braid in my hair and comb it again. I part my hair down the middle and make sure that it is straight and flat. I close the scissors over the hair by my chin.**

"No Tris," Christina yells.

"Now you are going to start talking to the book people as well as Zeke," Shauna says. "I hate to break it to you but they can't hear you."

"But she's about to cut her hair," Christina gasps.

 **How can I look the same, when she's gone and everything is different? I can't.**

 **I cut in as straight a line as I can, using my jaw as a guide. The tricky part is the back, which I can't see very well, so I do the best I can by touch instead of sight. Locks of blond hair surround me on the floor in a semicircle.**

 **I leave the room without looking at my reflection again.**

"I can't believe you just did that," Christina wails. "How could you cut your hair so short. It was so long."

"Well I suppose I have been doing a lot of things you don't like lately, Christina," Tris replies.

"Page break," Will says quickly. I think he is hoping that if he gets in the middle of their conversation that it will stop.

 **When Tobias and Caleb come to get me later, they stare at me like I am not the person they knew yesterday.**

" **You cut your hair," says Caleb, his eyebrows high.**

"How observant of him," Zeke chuckles.

 **Grabbing hold of facts in the midst of shock is very Erudite of him. His hair sticks up on one side from where he slept on it, and his eyes are bloodshot.**

" **Yeah," I say. "It's ... too hot for long hair."**

" **Fair enough."**

 **We walk down the hallway together. The floorboards creak beneath our feet. I miss the way my footsteps echoed in the Dauntless compound; I miss the cool underground air. But mostly I miss the fears of the past few weeks, rendered small by my fears now.**

"Who would have ever thought that we would be thinking that the fear sims were better than what we are facing now?" Marlene says.

 **We exit the building. The outside air presses around me like a pillow meant to suffocate me. It smells green, the way a leaf does when you tear it in half.**

" **Does everyone know you're Marcus's son?" Caleb says. "The Abnegation, I mean?"**

" **Not to my knowledge," says Tobias, glancing at Caleb. "And I would appreciate it if you didn't mention it."**

" **I don't need to mention it. Anyone with eyes can see it for themselves." Caleb frowns at him. "How old are you, anyway?"**

" **Eighteen."**

" **And you don't think you're too old to be with my little sister?"**

 **Tobias lets out a short laugh. "She isn't your little anything."**

"Oohhh, feel the tension," Uriah chuckles.

" **Stop it. Both of you," I say. A crowd of people in yellow walks ahead of us, toward a wide, squat building made entirely of glass. The sunlight reflecting off the panes feels like a pinch to my eyes. I shield my face with my hand and keep walking.**

 **The doors to the building are wide open. Around the edge of the circular greenhouse, plants and trees grow in troughs of water or small pools. Dozens of fans positioned around the room serve only to blow the hot air around, so I am already sweating.**

 **But that fades from my mind when the crowd before me thins and I see the rest of the room.**

"Maybe the cold showers would be nice, you know, it it's that hot and sweaty there," Shauna says.

"Not through winter though," Lynn replies.

"Maybe they have hot water in winter," Shauna shrugs.

 **In its center grows a huge tree. Its branches are spread over most of the greenhouse, and its roots bubble up from the ground, forming a dense web of bark. In the spaces between the roots, I see not dirt but water, and metal rods holding the roots in place. I should not be surprised—the Amity spend their lives accomplishing feats of agriculture like this one, with the help of Erudite technology.**

"How would they do that?" Will asks. "Wouldn't too much water drown the tree?"

"You were from Erudite," Lynn says. "You tell us."

Will decides to just keep reading.

 **Standing on a cluster of roots is Johanna Reyes, her hair falling over the scarred half of her face. I learned in Faction History that the Amity recognize no official leader—they vote on everything, and the result is usually close to unanimous. They are like many parts of a single mind, and Johanna is their mouthpiece.**

"How do you remember that crap?" Lynn asks. "I couldn't tell you anything from those stupid Faction History classes.

"That's why you aced the test, hey Lynn," Marlene teases her.

"You aced the Faction History test?" Will asks shocked.

"Lynn aced most of her classes," Marlene tells Will with pride in her voice. It must feel good to be able to gloat to an Ex-erudite that a Dauntless born did well at school.

"I didn't see that coming," Eric says.

"There's lots you don't know about _us_ Eric," Lynn snaps.

"Obviously," Eric sighs. "Sure you're not Divergent Lynn?"

"What has being Divergent got to do with exams Eric?" Lynn sounds annoyed.

"I just couldn't imagine a Dauntless born doing well at school unless they had some Erudite in them," Eric replies.

Lynn doesn't bother responding to Eric.

 **The Amity sit on the floor, most with their legs crossed, in knots and clusters that vaguely resemble the tree roots to me. The Abnegation sit in tight rows a few yards to my left. My eyes search the crowd for a few seconds before I realize what I'm looking for: my parents.**

 **I swallow hard, and try to forget. Tobias touches the small of my back, guiding me to the edge of the meeting space, behind the Abnegation. Before we sit down, he puts his mouth next to my ear and says, "I like your hair that way."**

"Nice," Marlene says with a smile and a nod.

"Because he likes her hair?" Uriah asks.

"Yes Uriah," Marlene says. "You should always tell a girl you like their hair, even when you don't."

"What difference does it make?" Uriah asks.

"It can be the difference between sleeping in bed or sleeping on the couch," Zeke says.

Uriah's eyes go wide as it dawns on him what Zeke is saying. Most of us can't help but laugh at him.

 **I find a small smile to give him, and lean into him when I sit down, my arm against his.**

 **Johanna lifts her hands and bows her head. All conversation in the room ceases before I can draw my next breath. All around me the Amity sit in silence, some with their eyes closed, some with their lips mouthing words I can't hear, some staring at a point far away.**

 **Every second chafes. By the time Johanna lifts her head I am worn to the bone.**

"There not in a hurry to get anything done in Amity, are they?" Tori says.

"Doesn't look like it," Lynn replies.

" **We have before us today an urgent question," she says, "which is: How will we conduct ourselves in this time of conflict as people who pursue peace?"**

 **Every Amity in the room turns to the person next to him or her and starts talking.**

" **How do they get anything done?" I say, as the minutes of chatter wear on.**

" **They don't care about efficiency," Tobias says. "They care about agreement. Watch."**

 **Two women in yellow dresses a few feet away rise and join a trio of men. A young man shifts so that his small circle becomes a large one with the group next to him. All around the room, the smaller crowds grow and expand, and fewer and fewer voices fill the room, until there are only three or four. I can only hear pieces of what they say: "Peace—Dauntless—Erudite—safe house—involvement—"**

" **This is bizarre," I say.**

" **I think it's beautiful," he says.**

Eric and Zeke both start laughing. I can see other people in the room trying not to laugh.

"What?" I ask.

"You think it's beautiful," Eric says as he continues to laugh.

"What did you have for breakfast Four?" Zeke asks. "You don't think shit like that is beautiful, I can't believe you haven't started yelling at them."

 **I give him a look.**

" **What?" He laughs a little. "They each have an equal role in government; they each feel equally responsible. And it makes them care; it makes them kind. I think that's beautiful."**

More laughter from Zeke and Eric but now Uriah and Lynn are laughing loudly as well.

" **I think it's unsustainable," I say. "Sure, it works for the Amity. But what happens when not everyone wants to strum banjos and grow crops? What happens when someone does something terrible and talking about it can't solve the problem?"**

"They give them a larger dose of peace serum," Max says.

"Are you joking?" Tris asks.

"No," Max says.

 **He shrugs. "I guess we'll find out."**

 **Eventually someone from each of the big groups stands and approaches Johanna, picking their way carefully over the roots of the big tree. I expect them to address the rest of us, but instead they stand in a circle with Johanna and the other spokespeople and talk quietly. I begin to get the feeling that I will never know what they're saying.**

" **They're not going to let us argue with them, are they," I say.**

" **I doubt it," he says.**

"Not unless you let them shoot you up with peace serum," Zeke laughs.

 **We are done for.**

 **When everyone has said his or her piece, they sit down again, leaving Johanna alone in the center of the room. She angles her body toward us and folds her hands in front of her. Where will we go when they tell us to leave? Back into the city, where nothing is safe?**

" **Our faction has had a close relationship with Erudite for as long as any of us can remember. We need each other to survive, and we have always cooperated with each other," says Johanna. "But we have also had a strong relationship with Abnegation in the past, and we do not think it is right to revoke the hand of friendship when it has for so long been extended."**

 **Her voice is honey-sweet, and moves like honey too, slow and careful. I wipe the sweat from my hairline with the back of my hand.**

" **We feel that the only way to preserve our relationships with both factions is to remain impartial and uninvolved," she continues. "Your presence here, though welcome, complicates that."**

"That is utter bullshit," Tori shouts. "How can they do that when Abnegation has been almost completely wiped out?"

 _ **Here it comes**_ **, I think.**

" **We have arrived at the conclusion that we will establish our faction headquarters as a safe house for members of all factions," she says, "under a set of conditions. The first is that no weaponry of any kind is allowed on the compound. The second is that if any serious conflict arises, whether verbal or physical, all involved parties will be asked to leave. The third is that the conflict may not be discussed, even privately, within the confines of this compound. And the fourth is that everyone who stays here must contribute to the welfare of this environment by working. We will report this to Erudite, Candor, and Dauntless as soon as we can."**

"She is going to tell them where to find the last of Abnegation," Tori says. "This is absolutely ridiculous. She may as well shoot everyone herself. And how the hell is she going to stop Dauntless or Erudite from bringing weapons into Amity?"

"Calm down Tori," Zeke says. "You are going to give yourself a heart attack."

"Doesn't this bother any of you?" Tori asks. "Why aren't they trying to help to broker some peace thingy? Instead they are just shoving their heads in the sand and say 'oh well we don't want to upset anyone so we won't do anything,' it's, it's . . . I don't know what it is but it is just wrong."

"Keep reading Will," I say. "Let's see how this all pans out."

 **Her stare drifts to Tobias and me, and stays there.**

" **You are welcome to stay here if and only if you can abide by our rules," she says. "That is our decision."**

 **I think of the gun I hid under my mattress, and the tension between me and Peter, and Tobias and Marcus, and my mouth feels dry. I am not good at avoiding conflict.**

" **We won't be able to stay long," I say to Tobias under my breath.**

 **A moment ago, he was still faintly smiling. Now the corners of his mouth have disappeared into a frown. "No, we won't."**

"Why are they only targeting you two? Peter is there too. He is more likely to cause conflict than anyone else," Christina says.

"That was the end of the chapter," Will says.

"Let's break for dinner," Max says.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

FOUR'S POV

"How long do you think you will be stuck in Amity?" Shauna asks.

"I don't know. Why?" I ask.

"I would really like to know what has happened to the rest of us," she replies.

"I hope it's not too much longer," I say. "But who knows. Anything could happen at this point."

"Imagine it," Zeke says. "You and Tris could be living in Amity forever."

I can't help but laugh at what Zeke has said. I can't see either of us lasting very long in Amity.

"Let's get this thing read," Uriah says as he stands from the table we had just eaten our dinner at. We all start to follow Uriah out of the room and back into the lounge room. Trying to make ourselves as comfortable as possible.

Will picks up the book and starts to read.

 **CHAPTER THREE**

 **That evening I return to my room and slide my hand beneath my mattress to make sure the gun is still there. My fingers brush over the trigger, and my throat tightens like I am having an allergic reaction. I withdraw my hand and kneel on the edge of the bed, taking hard swallows of air until the feeling subsides.**

 _ **What is wrong with you?**_ **I shake my head.** _ **Pull it together.**_

"Come on Tris," Zeke encourages. "Get it together will you." Then he starts laughing. Tris just shakes her head at him.

 **And that is what it feels like: pulling the different parts of me up and in like a shoelace. I feel suffocated, but at least I feel strong.**

 **I see a flicker of movement in my periphery, and look out the window that faces the apple orchard. Johanna Reyes and Marcus Eaton walk side by side, pausing at the herb garden to pluck mint leaves from their stems. I am out of my room before I can evaluate why I want to follow them.**

"Ooooh, secret mission," Uriah cheers.

"Sticky beak more like it," Lynn laughs.

 **I sprint through the building so that I don't lose them. Once I am outside, I have to be more careful. I walk around the far side of the greenhouse and, after I see Johanna and Marcus disappear into one row of trees, I creep down the next row, hoping the branches will hide me if either of them looks back.**

All of a sudden Zeke starts laughing his head off.

"What's so funny?" I ask.

"Well Tris isn't the most graceful person and I was just imagining her tripping over or falling out off a tree right in front of them and getting busted," Zeke says still laughing.

This in turn makes us all laugh, including Tris although she has gone really red from her blush.

" **... been confused about is the timing of the attack," says Johanna. "Is it just that Jeanine finally finished planning it, and acted, or was there an inciting incident of some kind?"**

 **I see Marcus's face through a divided tree trunk. He presses his lips together and says, "Hmm."**

" **I suppose we'll never know." Johanna raises her good eyebrow. "Will we?"**

" **No, perhaps not."**

 **Johanna places her hand on his arm and turns toward him. I stiffen, afraid for a moment that she will see me, but she looks only at Marcus. I sink into a crouch and crawl toward one of the trees so that the trunk will hide me. The bark itches my spine, but I don't move.**

" **But you** _ **do**_ **know," she says. "You know why she attacked when she did. I may not be Candor anymore, but I can still tell when someone is keeping the truth from me."**

" **Inquisitiveness is self-serving, Johanna."**

"Pompous prick," Max mutters.

 **If I were Johanna, I would snap at him for a comment like that, but she says kindly, "My faction depends on me to advise them, and if you know information this crucial, it is important that I know it also so that I can share it with them. I'm sure you can understand that, Marcus."**

" **There is a reason you don't know all the things I know. A long time ago, the Abnegation were entrusted with some sensitive information," says Marcus. "Jeanine attacked us to steal it. And if I am not careful, she will destroy it, so that is all I can tell you."**

" **But surely—"**

" **No," Marcus cuts her off. "This information is far more important than you can imagine. Most of the leaders of this city risked their lives to protect it from Jeanine and died, and I will not jeopardize it now for the sake of sating your selfish curiosity."**

"What's the information?" Will asks. "Does anyone know?"

"Max, do you know?" I ask.

"No. I know that she wanted something from the Abnegation but I wasn't told what," Max says.

"And you didn't think to tell me?" Eric asks. I can tell by the tone of his voice that he is extremely pissed off right now.

"Don't look at me like that," Max tells Eric. "You know you were only told what you needed to know."

"Like the fact that I was told that it was a mission to retrieve stolen information from Abnegation. Like the fact I wasn't told that we would be killing innocent children. Or maybe the fact that I didn't know we were going to be murdering people who were Divergent," Eric spits out.

The room has fallen silent.

"What?" I almost scream. "You want us to believe that you didn't know what you were going to be doing in the attack on Abnegation?"

"That is exactly what you should believe because it is true," Eric says.

"Max?" I question.

"It was all on a need to know basis. Jeanine needed our help and I said yes," Max speaks so casually about this. "The decisions were made before Eric even became leader."

"So, you are telling me that Abnegation had been planning to release whatever it is over two years ago?" I ask.

"Yes and no," Max replies.

"What does that even mean?" Tori asks.

"Look Jeanine came to Dauntless leadership three years ago. She was having problems with Abnegation and asked if we would be able to help if the matter became uncontrollable. We said yes. As for when Abnegation were going to release whatever it is that they want to release, I have no knowledge of that. I don't even know what it is. Jeanine told us that Abnegation, more specifically Marcus Eaton, had stolen important Erudite information."

"And you just took her word as being right?" I ask.

"Look Four, you are never going to like my answers so I don't think there is any point going over this with you. I have offered you a leadership position _over and over again_ and you have refused. Even with everything that these books are showing us, I will not change my mind," Max states.

"What about me? What about my choices?" Eric asks.

"You wanted leadership more than you wanted air to breath Eric. I told you there would be tough decisions that would need to be made and I told you that there would be times when you would have to follow us without question. Do you remember what your response was? Because I do. You told me and the other Dauntless leaders that you would do whatever it takes. So you think about how much this position means to you before you start questioning your superior," Max demands Eric.

"Yes sir," Eric replies. Max and the others in the room may believe that he is agreeing with Max but I don't think he is. I've spent a lot of time studying Eric, mainly because I don't trust him. But right now, I think he trust Max even less than I trust him.

 **Johanna is quiet for a few seconds. It's so dark now I can barely see my own hands. The air smells like dirt and apples, and I try not to breathe it too loudly.**

" **I'm sorry," says Johanna. "I must have done something to make you believe I am not trustworthy."**

" **The last time I trusted a faction representative with this information, all my friends were murdered," he replies. "I don't trust anyone anymore."**

 **I can't help it—I lean forward so that I can see around the trunk of the tree. Both Marcus and Johanna are too preoccupied to notice the movement. They are close together, but not touching, and I've never seen Marcus look so tired or Johanna so angry. But her face softens, and she touches Marcus's arm again, this time with a light caress.**

" **In order to have peace, we must first have trust," says Johanna. "So I hope you change your mind. Remember that I have always been your friend, Marcus, even when you did not have many to speak of."**

 **She leans in and kisses his cheek, then walks to the end of the orchard. Marcus stands for a few seconds, apparently stunned, and starts toward the compound.**

"What the hell was that?" Eric shouts. "Did Joanna and Marcus have some sort of an affair once?"

"Why are you looking at me?" I ask.

"He's your father," Eric says.

"Like I knew anything about him," I scoff.

"So Marcus was Candor?" Eric asks me.

"Yes," Max speaks for me.

"What did she mean about the friends thing?" I ask.

"That's not my story to tell Four," Max says.

"But you know?" I ask.

"Parts, yes. Look I am not going to tell you what your father is or was like. You already know what a bastard he is by the way he treated you and your mother. Do you really think that those tendencies just all of a sudden appeared?"

I shake my head no. Shit, does that mean there are others who have had to deal with the wrath of Marcus. This is just too much, I can't think straight right now. I feel Tris rub my back and I turn and give her a small smile. Thank God I have her sitting here with me.

 **The revelations of the past half hour buzz in my mind. I thought Jeanine attacked the Abnegation to seize power, but she attacked them to steal information—information only they knew.**

 **Then the buzzing stops as I remember something else Marcus said:** _ **Most of the leaders of this city risked their lives for**_ **it. Was one of those leaders my father?**

 **I have to know. I have to find out what could possibly be important enough for the Abnegation to die for—and the Erudite to kill for.**

"That's a page break," Will says.

"I need a break," Eric and I say at exactly the same time as we rise from our chairs. We both start walking toward the training room.

I don't talk to Eric. I just walk in and go straight for a punching bag. Eric goes to the weights.

* * *

"At least you haven't killed each other," I hear Zeke say as he walks into the room.

I stop punching the bag, sweat covering my body, heaving breaths. I sit on the floor with a bottle of water. Zeke sits down near me and Eric comes and sits with us.

"Do you realise how long you two have been in here?" Zeke asks.

I just shake my head. I'm too exhausted to try and form words. "Three hours. Everyone has gone to bed."

We sit in comfortable silence. I am thankful that I have reached exhaustion. I don't want to have to think about anything right now.

"Well I'm going to bed," Zeke says as he rises. "I'll see you in the morning."

I lie back on the floor, I think it would be easy to fall asleep right here.

"I don't want to be a part of what's coming," Eric whispers.

"Are you sure?" I ask.

I turn to look at him. I can see the exhaustion written all over his face and it's not just from the workout. He nods.

"If they find out they will kill you," I say.

"I already feel dead," he quietly says.

"You need to think about this. You know I don't trust you. I don't know if I ever will," I say as I stand up and walk out of the room.

"Tobias," I hear Eric call out but I can't speak to him right now. I don't know what to think. I feel like I am getting over my anger for the way Max has been acting today and now Eric springs his bullshit on me. I can't afford to trust him, not _yet_ anyway.

* * *

I walk into our room to find Tris sitting on our bed. "I thought you'd be asleep," I say.

"No, I wanted to make sure you were okay," she says with a small smile. "Are you okay?"

"Tired," I say sitting down next to her. "What have you got there?"

"Massage oil."

"You want me to give you a massage?"

"No. Shauna and Marlene were showing me how I could give you a massage. I thought you might want one."

"Really?"

Tris nods her head and I can't help but smile at her thoughtfulness. "I'll just go and take a shower then," I say.

I don't think I've ever showered so quickly in all my life. I have never had a massage before.

I walk out of the bathroom and Tris is still sitting where I left her. "Lie on your stomach," she tells me.

I lie down and Tris moves to sit on my lower back. I hear the lid come off the bottle and she pours some of the liquid onto my back. It feels warm as it spreads over my back. Then I feel her hands start to rub the oil into my sore and tired muscles.

The feeling is like heaven and hell all rolled into one. It hurts as she kneads the knots out of my muscles but it also is pure bliss once the muscles are relaxed. But before I can relax too much she moves onto the next one and the pain starts again. I don't know how long this goes on for but eventually I feel like I have melted into the mattress completely relaxed.

"Sleep now, Tobias," I hear Tris whisper in my ear as she kisses the top of my head and I fall into a deep sleep.

* * *

I wake the next morning to an empty bed. I look around the room but Tris isn't here. I look at my watch and see that it reads eleven am. I don't know what time I fell asleep but I haven't felt this good in a long time. Actually, I don't think I've ever felt this good.

"You're awake," Tris says as she bounds into our room. Sweat clinging to her shirt and face.

"Been working out?" I ask.

"Yeah. I was sparring with Lynn," she says with a grin.

"She would be a good match up for you," I say. Tris looks at me a little confused. So I explain. "Lynn is only a little taller than you but she is a fierce fighter. You can learn a lot working with her. Lauren was telling me that Uriah was the only person in their initiate class to have beaten her and he only just won."

"It was fun," Tris shrugs. "How did you sleep?"

"Wonderfully."

"It was probably the exhaustion from your work out last night."

"I think it was the way you treated me after the workout last night," I say with a smile.

"I didn't have the heart to wake you this morning. I don't think I've seen you looking so peaceful. Are you sure you are okay? You seemed really upset last night before you went to the training room."

"I feel better than I did but I still have a lot going on in my mind."

"I need a shower. But if you want to talk we can later. I've got to go and help make lunch."

"Just be careful around Eric," I warn her.

"I don't think he will try to hurt me while we are here."

"No, it's not that. There is more going on with him."

"Did he say something to you?"

"Yeah. I just don't know what to think of it, yet."

"Okay. I'm going to shower."

"Want me to wash your hair?" I say with a grin.

Tris turns to look at me as she enters the bathroom. She gives me a small nod. I don't need any more encouragement than that. I am in the bathroom before she has even had a chance to turn the taps on.

* * *

After lunch we make our way back into the lounge room to continue to listen to Will tell the story.

 **I pause before knocking on Tobias's door, and listen to what's going on inside.**

" **No, not like** _ **that**_ **," Tobias says through laughter.**

" **What do you mean, 'not like that'? I imitated you perfectly." The second voice belongs to Caleb.**

" **You did not."**

" **Well, do it again, then."**

"This is sounding a bit kinky," Zeke laughs. "Is something going on between you and Caleb?"

" _What?"_ I ask. "Eww, no. Why would you think that?"

"You are in Amity," Zeke chuckles. "Plus, you never laugh like that."

"How do you know how I'm laughing? It just says 'through laughter.'"

"You could have had some of their famous peace serum," Zeke replies.

"What is it with you and peace serum?" Eric asks.

"I don't know. I have just always wanted to try it. I mean we get to go through our fear landscapes and they get to be all happy. Maybe Dauntless should give us a shot of peace serum after our final evaluation."

"I'm sure if I asked, Johanna would love to take you in as a member," Max says.

"I don't want to live there," Zeke sounds shocked. "I just want to try the drugs. Why won't anyone let me try the peace serum?"

"Because you are happy enough," Max says. "I don't think anyone could stand it if you were any more happy."

 **I push open the door just as Tobias, who is sitting on the floor with one leg stretched out, hurls a butter knife at the opposite wall. It sticks, handle out, from a large hunk of cheese they positioned on top of the dresser. Caleb, standing beside him, stares in disbelief, first at the cheese and then at me.**

"That makes sense," Zeke chuckles. He looks at me and can see the confused look on my face. "You are laughing because you are doing something Dauntless. I bet that is the happiest you were the whole time you were in Amity."

" **Tell me he's some kind of Dauntless prodigy," says Caleb. "Can you do this too?"**

 **He looks better than he did earlier—his eyes aren't red anymore and some of the old spark of curiosity is in them, like he is interested in the world again. His brown hair is tousled, his shirt buttons in the wrong buttonholes. He is handsome in a careless way, my brother, like he has no idea what he looks like most of the time.**

" **With my right hand, maybe," I say. "But yes,** _ **Four**_ **is some kind of Dauntless prodigy. Can I ask** _ **why**_ **you're throwing knives at cheese?"**

 **Tobias's eyes catch mine on the word "Four." Caleb doesn't know that Tobias wears his excellence all the time in his own nickname.**

" **Caleb came by to discuss something," Tobias says, leaning his head against the wall as he looks at me. "And knife-throwing just came up somehow."**

" **As it so often does," I say, a small smile inching its way across my face.**

 **He looks so relaxed, his head back, his arm slung over his knee. We stare at each other for a few more seconds than is socially acceptable. Caleb clears his throat.**

" **Anyway, I should be getting back to my room," Caleb says, looking from Tobias to me and back again. "I'm reading this book about the water-filtration systems. The kid who gave it to me looked at me like I was crazy for wanting to read it. I think it's supposed to be a repair manual, but it's fascinating." He pauses. "Sorry. You probably think I'm crazy too."**

"I do," Lynn says. "Are all Erudites this boring?"

"No," answers Will, Tori and Eric all at the same time.

"What about Faction before blood?" I ask.

They ignore me and Will starts to read again.

" **Not at all," Tobias says with mock sincerity. "Maybe** _ **you**_ **should read that repair manual too, Tris. It sounds like something you might like."**

" **I can loan it to you," Caleb says.**

" **Maybe later," I say. When Caleb closes the door behind him, I give Tobias a dirty look.**

"It's interesting," Eric says. "That although you have an aptitude for Erudite, you don't have the same thirst for knowledge like someone who is 100% Erudite. But you do seem to think like an Erudite."

"Are you telling me that you don't have a thirst for knowledge Eric?" Tris asks. "Because there are times that you seem like you are thinking like an Erudite. But you have a Dauntless aptitude, don't you?"

It takes Eric just that moment to long to answer. "Yes, I got a Dauntless result," he finally says. I don't know what to think. Could Eric be Divergent?

" **Thanks for that," I say. "Now he's going to talk my ear off about water filtration and how it works. Though I guess I might prefer that to what he wants to talk to me about."**

" **Oh? And what's that?" Tobias quirks his eyebrows. "Aquaponics?"**

" **Aqua-what?"**

" **It's one of the ways they grow food here. You don't want to know."**

" **You're right, I don't," I say. "What did he come to talk to you about?"**

" **You," he says. "I think it was the big-brother talk. 'Don't mess around with my sister' and all that."**

Uriah and Zeke both start laughing. "Could you imagine anyone going up to Four and telling him not to mess with their sister?" Uriah says.

"That's why you are laughing?" Tris asks.

"Yeah. It just seems really funny. I don't know anyone in Dauntless who would have the guts to do that," Zeke says. "Maybe Eric. Most members would be like handing their sisters over to him."

"Do you remember when that guy Josh from last year's initiation?" Eric says with a laugh. "He was so scared of Four that he actually did that."

"I remember that," Shauna laughs. "I came in to see what time my patrol team could use the firing range. The kid was jumping around like a crazy person and Four put a gun to his head."

"He had just got his first bullseye and was dancing around like he was king shit," Eric laughs. "Then Four put the gun to his head and as soon as he heard the bullet click into the chamber he froze. Four told him to watch what he was doing. Then he fell to his knees begging for his life. I thought he was going to piss himself."

"So, he said to Four," Shauna continues the story, "my sister is going to transfer in two years. I will give you my sister if you don't kill me."

Eric and Shauna are laughing. They are laughing so hard that is making the rest of the room laugh with them. I didn't think the story was that funny.

"Why didn't we ever hear about this?" Zeke asks.

"I don't know," Shauna shrugs. "Probably forgot to tell you."

"I wonder what his sister is like?" Zeke asks.

"Who cares," Eric scoffs. "If she is anything like her brother than you wouldn't want her as a girlfriend. Coward that he was."

"You shouldn't talk," I tell Eric. "What about that one that kept flashing her chest at you."

"She did have a nice set on her," Eric chuckles, clearly remembering the incident.

"Why weren't we told about this?" Zeke whines. "I want to be an instructor."

"No, you don't," Eric says. "It sounds funny now but when it is happening it isn't fun at all."

"Who doesn't want to see a woman flashing her boobs," Zeke says with a grin. This gets him a clip behind the ear from Shauna. "Shit! That hurt."

"So, some initiates throw themselves at you?" Tris asks.

"They try," Max replies. "We usually have an incident or two every year. That's why it has been good having Four and Eric in charge the last two years. The numbers have dropped considerably."

"I think Lauren had it worst last year," Eric chuckles. "She had a Dauntless born male who would sleep naked. Every time she would walk into the room he would start flashing her."

"I don't think I'd want to see that," Zeke says shaking his head. "What other stories have you got?"

"Just read Will," I say.

"Oh, come on Four. There must be more if you don't want to talk about it," Zeke complains.

"What happened to the girl who kept flashing Eric?" Marlene asks.

"Factionless at the end of stage one," Eric says. "She was not made for Dauntless."

"Not made for Dauntless or not built for Dauntless?" Zeke asks with a laugh.

"I already told you she had a nice set, doesn't mean she belongs here," Eric replies.

 **He gets up.**

" **What did you tell him?"**

 **He comes toward me.**

" **I told him how we got together—that's how knife-throwing came up," he says, "and I told him I wasn't messing around."**

 **I feel warm everywhere. He wraps his hands around my hips and presses me gently against the door. His lips find mine.**

 **I don't remember why I came here in the first place.**

 **And I don't care.**

"Looks like Amity is working out well for you both," Zeke chuckles.

 **I wrap my uninjured arm around him, pulling him against me. My fingers find the hem of his T-shirt, and slide beneath it, spreading wide over the small of his back. He feels so strong.**

 **He kisses me again, more insistent this time, his hands squeezing my waist. His breaths, my breaths, his body, my body, we are so close there is no difference.**

"They aren't going to describe you having sex in this book are they?" Zeke asks.

Not really the question I would have ever thought I would hear coming from him, or anyone else in this room.

"I hope not," Tris says blushing.

"Does that mean you think it is possible?" Uriah asks with a mischievous grin.

"I don't know," snaps Tris. I can feel the awkward in the room right now and I can't seem to find my voice to say anything.

 **He pulls back, just a few centimeters. I almost don't let him get that far.**

" **This isn't what you came here for," he says.**

" **No."**

" **What did you come for, then?"**

" **Who cares?"**

"We do," Zeke shouts. "Don't let the book people get carried away."

"You complain all the time that he isn't getting any," Shauna says. "And now you are complaining because he might get some."

"I don't want to have to read about it," Zeke says.

"Yeah right. You would be pumping him for as much information as possible if we were back in Dauntless," Shauna says.

"I don't think pumping is the word I would use," Zeke says and the room bursts into laughter. "Just read Will."

 **I push my fingers through his hair, and draw his mouth to mine again. He doesn't resist, but after a few seconds, he mumbles, "Tris," against my cheek.**

" **Okay, okay." I close my eyes. I did come here for something important: to tell him the conversation I overheard.**

 **We sit side by side on Tobias's bed, and I start from the beginning. I tell him how I followed Marcus and Johanna into the orchard. I tell him Johanna's question about the timing of the simulation attack, and Marcus's response, and the argument that followed. As I do, I watch his expression. He does not look shocked or curious. Instead, his mouth works its way into the bitter pucker that accompanies any mention of Marcus.**

" **Well, what do you think?" I say once I finish.**

" **I think," he says carefully, "that it's Marcus trying to feel more important than he is."**

 **That was not the response I was expecting.**

" **So ... what? You think he's just talking nonsense?"**

" **I think there probably is some information the Abnegation knew that Jeanine wanted to know, but I think he's exaggerating its importance. Trying to build up his own ego by making Johanna think he's got something she wants and he won't give it to her."**

" **I don't ..." I frown. "I don't think you're right. He didn't sound like he was lying."**

" **You don't know him like I do. He is an excellent liar."**

 **He is right—I don't know Marcus, and certainly not as well as he does. But my instinct was to believe Marcus, and I usually trust my instincts.**

" **Maybe you're right," I say, "but shouldn't we find out what's going on? Just to be sure?"**

" **I think it's more important that we deal with the situation at hand," says Tobias. "Go back to the city. Find out what's going on there. Find a way to take Erudite down. Then maybe we can find out what Marcus was talking about, after this is all resolved. Okay?"**

 **I nod. It sounds like a good plan—a smart plan. But I don't believe him—I don't believe it's more important to move forward than to find out the truth. When I found out that I was Divergent ... when I found out that Erudite would attack Abnegation ... those revelations changed everything. The truth has a way of changing a person's plans.**

 **But it is difficult to persuade Tobias to do something he doesn't want to do, and even more difficult to justify my feelings with no evidence except my intuition.**

 **So I agree. But I do not change my mind.**

"You are so right Tris," Zeke says. "Four is extremely stubborn."

"What would you do in that situation Zeke?" I ask him.

"How the hell would I know?" Zeke says throwing up his hands. "This whole situation is insane. I can't believe we ended up in this bloody mess."

"That's the end of the chapter," Will says.

"Finally, that chapter felt like it took forever," Lynn says.

"That's because it did," Tori says. "Maybe we need to set up a punching bag in here. Then when someone dummy spits over what we have read, we can still keep reading while they work it out on the bag."

"Maybe it would be better to move the readings into the training room," Will suggests.

"No," Shauna, Marlene and Christina all shout.

"What's so wrong with that?" Will asks.

"It's all smelly in there," Marlene answers. "Plus, I think it would be very distracting if someone was working out while we were trying to read."

"Are you talking about a specific someone or anyone?" Tori asks.

"Anyone," Marlene says.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

FOUR'S POV

"Are you still happy to read Will?" I ask.

"Yeah, I'm good," Will replies.

"I suppose it's better than being dead," Lynn says.

"Lynn!" Shauna scolds.

"What? He isn't dead, not yet anyway so what's the harm in joking about it," Lynn replies.

"Better start reading Will," Zeke says trying not to laugh.

 **CHAPTER FOUR**

" **Biotechnology has been around for a long time, but it wasn't always very effective," Caleb says. He starts on the crust of his toast—he ate the middle first, just like he used to when we were little.**

"Your brother is sooo boring Tris," Christina says.

"Really? He kind of reminds me of Will," Tris says.

"Hey," Will calls out.

"She's kinda right dude," Uriah says. "You are always telling everyone such useless facts."

Will just puts his head down and starts to read again.

 **He sits across from me in the cafeteria, at the table closest to the windows. Carved into the wood along the table's edge are the letters "D" and "T" linked together by a heart, so small I almost didn't see them. I run my fingers over the carving as Caleb speaks.**

" **But Erudite scientists developed this highly effective mineral solution a while back. It was better for the plants than dirt," he says. "It's an earlier version of that salve they put on your shoulder—it accelerates the growth of new cells."**

 **His eyes are wild with new information. Not all the Erudite are power hungry and devoid of conscience, like their leader, Jeanine Matthews. Some of them are like Caleb: fascinated by everything, dissatisfied until they find out how it works.**

"I can just imagine how many people they have cut up looking for answers," Uriah says.

"Would they do that? Dissect people?" I ask.

"I don't think you want to know," Eric says.

"Your telling me they would do that kind of thing, to people?" I know I sound shocked.

"A lot of people in Erudite leave their bodies to the faction. For the faction to learn more about how the body works," Will says. "It's very common."

I shiver runs through me and it's not a good one. I would hate to think what Jeanine and her cohorts would do if they thought they could get away with it.

 **I rest my chin on my hand and smile a little at him. He seems upbeat this morning. I am glad he has found something to distract him from his grief.**

" **So Erudite and Amity work together, then?" I say.**

" **More closely than Erudite and any other faction," he says. "Don't you remember from our Faction History book? It called them the 'essential factions'—without them, we would be incapable of survival. Some of the Erudite texts called them the 'enriching factions.' And one of Erudite's missions as a faction was to become both—essential and enriching."**

"He sounds like a text book himself," Marlene says. "Do they drum this into you when you are an initiate?"

Nobody answers, nobody here has gone through Erudite initiation.

 **It doesn't sit well with me, how much our society needs Erudite to function. But they are essential—without them, there would be inefficient farming, insufficient medical treatments, and no technological advance.**

 **I bite my apple.**

" **You aren't going to eat your toast?" he says.**

" **The bread tastes strange," I say. "You can have it if you want."**

" **I'm amazed by how they live here," he says as he takes the toast from my plate. "They're completely self-sustaining. They have their own source of power, their own water pumps, their own water filtration, their own food sources... They're independent."**

" **Independent," I say, "and uninvolved. Must be nice."**

"Do you think this is why they stay neutral? They can survive without the other factions," Shauna asks.

"For now they can, but what happens when the technology they are using breaks down?" I ask.

 **It** _ **is**_ **nice, from what I can tell. The large windows beside our table let in so much sunlight I feel like I'm sitting outside. Clusters of Amity sit at the other tables, their clothes bright against their tanned skin. On me the yellow looks dull.**

" **So I take it Amity wasn't one of the factions you had an aptitude for," he says, grinning.**

" **No." The group of Amity a few seats away from us bursts into laughter. They haven't even glanced in our direction since we sat down to eat. "Keep it down, all right? It's not something I want to broadcast."**

" **Sorry," he says, leaning over the table so that he can talk quieter. "So what were they?"**

 **I feel myself tensing, straightening. "Why do you want to know?"**

" **Tris," he says, "I'm your brother. You can tell me anything."**

"Don't tell him Tris," Uriah calls out.

 **His green eyes never waver. He's abandoned the useless spectacles he wore as a member of Erudite in favor of an Abnegation gray shirt and their trademark short haircut. He looks just as he did a few months ago, when we were living across the hall from each other, both of us considering switching factions but not brave enough to tell one another. Not trusting him enough to tell him was a mistake I do not want to make again.**

" **Abnegation, Dauntless," I say, "and Erudite."**

"Oh Tris," Uriah sighs.

"What?" Tris asks.

"I don't know," Uriah shrugs. "There is just something about the way he asked you. I don't like it."

" _ **Three**_ **factions?" His eyebrows lift.**

" **Yes. Why?"**

" **It just seems like a lot," he says. "We each had to choose a research focus in Erudite initiation, and mine was the aptitude test simulation, so I know a lot about the way it's designed. It's really difficult for a person to get two results—the program actually doesn't allow it. But to get three ... I'm not even sure how that's possible."**

" **Well, the test administrator had to alter the test," I say. "She forced it to go to that situation on the bus so that she could rule out Erudite—except Erudite wasn't ruled out."**

 **Caleb props his chin on a fist. "A program override," he says. "I wonder how your test administrator knew how to do that. It's not something they're taught."**

"I don't like this Tris," Uriah says shaking his head. "I have a bad feeling about it."

"But he's my brother Uriah," Tris says.

"Yeah, I just don't know," Uriah says.

It's unnerving to hear Uriah speak like this. He never gets cautious like this.

 **I frown. Tori was a tattoo artist and an aptitude test volunteer—how did she know how to alter the aptitude test program? If she was good with computers, it was only as a hobby, and I doubt that a computer hobby would enable someone to fiddle with an Erudite simulation.**

 **Then something from one of my conversations with her surfaces.** _ **My brother and I both transferred from Erudite.**_

" **She was Erudite," I say. "A faction transfer. Maybe that's how."**

" **Maybe," he says, tapping his fingers—from left to right—against his cheek. Our breakfasts sit, almost forgotten, between us. "What does this mean about your brain chemistry? Or anatomy?"**

"If he wasn't your brother, I would say he would be contacting Erudite and trying to have them come and dissect your brain," Lynn says.

"Please don't say that," Tris groans.

 **I laugh a little. "I don't know. All I know is that I'm always aware during simulations, and sometimes I can wake myself up from them. Sometimes they don't even work. Like the attack simulation."**

" **How do you wake yourself up from them? What do you do?"**

" **I ..." I try to remember. I feel like it has been a long time since I was in one, though it was only a few weeks. "It's hard to say, because the Dauntless simulations were supposed to end when we had calmed down. But in one of mine ... the one where Tobias figured out what I was ... I just did something impossible. I broke glass just by putting my hand on it."**

 **Caleb's expression becomes distant, like he is looking into faraway places. Nothing like what I just described ever happened to him in the aptitude test simulation, I know. So maybe he is wondering what it felt like, or how it's possible. My cheeks grow warmer—he is analyzing my brain like he would analyze a computer or a machine.**

" **Hey," I say. "Come back."**

" **Sorry," he says, focusing on me again. "It's just ..."**

" **Fascinating. Yeah, I know. You always look like someone's sucked the life right out of you when something fascinates you."**

 **He laughs.**

" **Can we talk about something else, though?" I say. "There may not be any Erudite or Dauntless traitors around, but it still feels weird, talking about it in public like this."**

" **All right."**

 **Before he can go on, the cafeteria doors open, and a group of Abnegation come in. They wear Amity clothes, like me, but also like me, it's obvious what faction they are really in. They are silent, but not somber—they smile at the Amity they pass, inclining their heads, a few of them stopping to exchange pleasantries.**

 **Susan sits down next to Caleb with a small smile. Her hair is pulled back in its usual knot, but her blond hair shines like gold. She and Caleb sit just slightly closer than friends would, though they do not touch. She bobs her head to greet me.**

" **I'm sorry," she says. "Did I interrupt?"**

" **No," says Caleb. "How are you?"**

" **I'm well. How are you?"**

"God the Abnegation are just so awkward, aren't they?" Zeke laughs. "No wonder you had to wait for Tris to come along Four. No one else would ever understand you the way she could."

"I didn't like Tris because she was from Abnegation," I defend.

"Maybe not but it would have to help. A lot," Zeke keeps laughing.

"Maybe," I mutter. Tris squeezes my hand.

 **I am just about to flee the dining hall rather than participate in careful, polite Abnegation conversation when Tobias comes in, looking harassed. He must have been working in the kitchen this morning, as part of our agreement with the Amity. I have to work in the laundry rooms tomorrow.**

" **What happened?" I say as he sits down next to me.**

" **In their enthusiasm for conflict resolution, the Amity have apparently forgotten that meddling creates** _ **more**_ **conflict," says Tobias. "If we stay here much longer, I am going to punch someone, and it's not going to be pretty."**

"There's the Four we all love," Zeke shouts out.

 **Caleb and Susan both raise their eyebrows at him. A few of the Amity at the table next to ours stop talking to stare.**

" **You heard me," Tobias says to them. They all look away.**

" **As I said," I say, covering my mouth to hide my smile, "what happened?"**

" **I'll tell you later."**

 **It must have to do with Marcus. Tobias doesn't like the dubious looks the Abnegation give him when he refers to Marcus's cruelty, and Susan is sitting right across from him. I clasp my hands in my lap.**

 **The Abnegation sit at our table, but not right next to us—a respectful distance of two seats away, though most of them still nod at us. They were my family's friends and neighbors and coworkers, and before, their presence would have encouraged me to be quiet and self-effacing. Now it makes me want to talk louder, to be as far from that old identity and the pain that accompanies it as possible.**

"I'm surprised that they would sit at a table with you," Lynn says. "If I was them I'd want to be at least two tables away."

 **Tobias goes completely still when a hand falls on my right shoulder, sending prickles of pain down my right arm. I clench my teeth to keep from groaning.**

" **She got shot in that shoulder," Tobias says without looking at the man behind me.**

" **My apologies." Marcus lifts his hand and sits down on my left. "Hello."**

" **What do** _ **you**_ **want?" I say.**

" **Beatrice," Susan says quietly. "There's no need to—"**

" **Susan, please," says Caleb quietly. She presses her lips into a line and looks away.**

 **I frown at Marcus. "I asked you a question."**

" **I would like to discuss something with you," says Marcus. His expression is calm, but he's angry—the terseness in his voice betrays him. "The other Abnegation and myself have discussed it and decided that we should not stay here. We believe that, given the inevitability of further conflict in our city, it would be selfish of us to stay here while what remains of our faction is inside that fence. We would like to request that you escort us."**

"I call bullshit," Eric shouts. "There is no way Marcus would be doing this because he feels selfish."

 **I did not expect that. Why does Marcus want to return to the city? Is it really just an Abnegation decision, or does he intend to do something there—something that has to do with whatever information the Abnegation have?**

"I think Eric and Tris are right," Tori says.

 **I stare at him for a few seconds and then look at Tobias. He has relaxed a little, but he keeps his eyes focused on the table. I don't know why he acts this way around his father. No one, not even Jeanine, makes Tobias cower.**

"How can you think that?" I sneer at Tris.

"What?" Tris asks with a look of confusion on her face.

"How do you not realise the reason I act like that around Marcus?" I spit. I am so angry right now. I can't believe she would not realise what affect he has on me.

"Tobias," Tris starts to say.

"No Tris," I say as I let go off her hand. I move as far as I can away from her. Which is a huge two inches on the seat we are on.

Tris gets up off the lounge and goes and sits next to Tori.

"You are judging me on something I haven't seen and haven't even thought yet," Tris snaps back at me. The room is deathly silent.

Zeke gets up off his seat and walks over and sits next to me. He flings his arm around my shoulder and says, "don't worry big guy, I still love ya."

"Get off me," I push Zeke's arm off me. Which just makes him laugh and try to plant a kiss on my cheek.

"Get away," I push him a little too hard and he falls to the floor.

Everyone starts to laugh, even Tris.

"Fine I'll just go back to my other love then," Zeke says as he sits back down next to Shauna.

"What makes you think you are welcome back here Ezekial?" Shauna laughs.

"Don't call me that," Zeke whines and puts his arm around Shauna and gives her a kiss on the cheek. Shauna returns the kiss. "See Four, that's how you are supposed to act."

"I'm not ever kissing you Zeke," I say.

"Your loss buddy," Zeke replies.

Will starts reading again.

" **What do you think?" I say.**

" **I think we should leave the day after tomorrow," Tobias says.**

" **Okay. Thank you," says Marcus. He gets up and sits at the other end of the table with the rest of the Abnegation.**

 **I inch closer to Tobias, not sure how to comfort him without making things worse. I pick up my apple with my left hand, and grab his hand under the table with my right.**

 **But I can't keep my eyes away from Marcus. I want to know more about what he said to Johanna. And sometimes, if you want the truth, you have to demand it.**

"I think Tris is going to give Marcus a smack down," Lynn says.

"We can only hope," Zeke says.

I can't look at Tris.

I don't want to look at Tris.

I look at Tris.

She sees me looking and quickly looks away. Shit. We made a promise that we wouldn't judge each other with what happens in the books and the first time I don't like what I hear and I act like a spoilt child.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

FOUR'S POV

"Come on Will," Christina says. "Let's try and get another chapter read. I really hope they leave Amity soon."

"Why can't they do something where we find out where we are?" Uriah whines.

"Where do you think you are?" Tori asks.

"I dunno," Uriah says. "Hopefully back at Dauntless."

"I doubt it," I say.

"Why?" Shauna asks.

"Too many cameras," I reply.

"Well I wouldn't want to be in Abnegation. There is no way I would be in Erudite," Uriah says. "I know I'm not in Amity. So that would leave Candor."

"You could be factionless," Tris says.

"I hope not," Uriah says.

 **CHAPTER FIVE**

 **After breakfast, I tell Tobias I'm going for a walk, but instead I follow Marcus. I expect him to walk to the guests' dormitory, but he crosses the field behind the dining hall and walks into the water-filtration building. I hesitate on the bottom step. Do I really want to do this?**

"You just look for trouble," Eric says with a shake to his head.

 **I walk up the steps and through the door that Marcus just closed behind him.**

 **The filtration building is small, just one room with a few huge machines in it. As far as I can tell, some of the machines take in dirty water from the rest of the compound, a few of them purify it, others test it, and the last set pumps clean water back out to the compound. The piping systems are all buried except one, which runs along the ground to send water to the power plant, near the fence. The plant provides power to the entire city, using a combination of wind, water, and solar energy.**

 **Marcus stands near the machines that filter the water. There the pipes are transparent. I can see brown-tinged water rushing through one pipe, disappearing into the machine, and emerging clear. Both of us watch the purification happen, and I wonder if he is thinking what I am: that it would be nice if life worked this way, stripping the dirt from our lives and sending us out into the world clean. But some dirt is destined to linger.**

"Isn't that what we call a shower?" Uriah asks.

"I think that she means of lives not our bodies," I say.

Uriah is about to respond when Tris snaps, "don't try and tell people what you think I am thinking."

"Tris," I beg.

"I don't want to hear it right now," Tris snaps.

I am sure I will be sleeping on the floor tonight.

 **I stare at the back of Marcus's head. I have to do this now.**

 _ **Now.**_

" **I heard you, the other day," I blurt out.**

 **Marcus whips his head around. "What are you doing, Beatrice?"**

" **I followed you here." I fold my arms over my chest. "I heard you talking to Johanna about what motivated Jeanine's attack on Abnegation."**

" **Did the Dauntless teach you that it's all right to invade another person's privacy, or did you teach yourself?"**

" **I'm a naturally curious person. Don't change the subject."**

"Just hit him Tris," Lynn calls out.

 **Marcus's forehead is creased, especially between the eyebrows, and there are deep lines next to his mouth. He looks like a man who has spent most of his life frowning. He might have been handsome when he was younger—perhaps he still is, to women his age, like Johanna—but all I see when I look at him are the black-pit eyes from Tobias's fear landscape.**

" **If you heard me talking to Johanna, then you know that I didn't even tell** _ **her**_ **about this. So what makes you think that I would share the information with** _ **you**_ **?"**

 **I don't have an answer at first. But then it comes to me.**

" **My father," I say. "My father is dead." It's the first time I've said it since I told Tobias, on the train ride over, that my parents died for me. "Died" was just a fact to me then, detached from emotion. But "dead," mingling with the churning and bubbling noises in this room, strikes a blow like a hammer to my chest, and the monster of grief awakens, clawing at my eyes and throat.**

 **I force myself to continue.**

" **He may not have actually died for whatever information you were referring to," I say. "But I want to know if it was something he risked his life for."**

 **Marcus's mouth twitches.**

" **Yes," he says. "It was."**

 **My eyes fill with tears. I blink them away.**

" **Well," I say, almost choking, "then what on earth was it? Was it something you were trying to protect? Or steal? Or what?"**

" **It was ..." Marcus shakes his head. "I'm not going to tell you that."**

 **I step toward him. "But you want it back. And Jeanine has it."**

 **Marcus** _ **is**_ **a good liar—or at least, someone who is skilled at hiding secrets. He does not react. I wish I could see like Johanna sees, like the Candor see—I wish I could read his expression. He could be close to telling me the truth. If I press just hard enough, maybe he'll crack.**

" **I could help you," I say.**

 **Marcus's upper lip curls. "You have no idea how ridiculous that sounds." He spits the words at me. "You may have succeeded in shutting down the attack simulation, girl, but it was by luck alone, not skill. I would die of shock if you managed to do anything useful again for a long time."**

"Oh, he is good," Eric says. "What a complete bastard."

 **This is the Marcus that Tobias knows. The one who knows right where to hit to cause the most damage.**

 **My body shudders with anger. "Tobias is right about you," I say. "You're nothing but an arrogant, lying piece of garbage."**

"I would have thrown a few swear words in there if I was you Tris," Eric says.

"I'll try to remember that Eric," Tris snaps.

" **He said that, did he?" Marcus raises his eyebrows.**

" **No," I say. "He doesn't mention you enough to say anything like that. I figured it out all on my own." I clench my teeth. "You're almost nothing to him, you know. And as time goes on, you become less and less."**

 **Marcus doesn't answer me. He turns back to the water purifier. I stand for a moment in my triumph, the sound of rushing water combining with the heartbeat in my ears. Then I leave the building, and it isn't until I'm halfway across the field that I realize I didn't win. Marcus did.**

 **Whatever the truth is, I'll have to get it from somewhere else, because I won't be asking him again.**

"He is really just the scum off the earth, isn't he?" Tori says.

"You have no idea," I say.

"Page break," Will says.

 **That night I dream that I am in a field, and I encounter a flock of crows clustered on the ground. When I swat a few of them away, I realize that they are perched on top of a man, pecking at his clothes, which are Abnegation gray. Without warning, they take flight, and I realize that the man is Will.**

 **Then I wake up.**

"As much as I hate to see you suffer like this Tris," Will says. "I'm glad you didn't take killing me lightly."

"Did you think I would?" Tris questions Will.

"No," Will replies. "It's just, it wasn't your fault. What you did. I didn't think you would take it so badly."

"I'm glad that you approve my suffering," Tris says.

 **I turn my face into the pillow and release, instead of his name, a sob that throws my body against the mattress. I feel the monster of grief again, writhing in the empty space where my heart and stomach used to be.**

 **I gasp, pressing both palms to my chest. Now the monstrous thing has its claws around my throat, squeezing my airway. I twist and put my head between my knees, breathing until the strangled feeling leaves me.**

I really want to go over and hold Tris in my arms, but I know with how she is feeling right now she would push me away and that is not something I could cope with. I see Tori rubbing Tris on the back. I'm glad someone can comfort her.

 **Even though the air is warm, I shiver. I get out of bed and creep down the hallway toward Tobias's room. My bare legs almost glow in the dark. His door creaks when I pull it open, loud enough to wake him. He stares at me for a second.**

" **C'mere," he says, sluggish from sleep. He shifts back on the bed to leave space for me.**

 **I should have thought this through. I sleep in a long T-shirt one of the Amity lent me. It comes down just past my butt, and I didn't think to put on a pair of shorts before I came here. Tobias's eyes skim my bare legs, making my face warm. I lie down, facing him.**

" **Bad dream?" he says.**

 **I nod.**

" **What happened?"**

 **I shake my head. I can't tell him that I'm having nightmares about Will, or I would have to explain why. What would he think of me, if he knew what I had done? How would he look at me?**

 **He keeps his hand on my cheek, moving his thumb over my cheekbone idly.**

" **We're all right, you know," he says. "You and me. Okay?"**

 **My chest aches, and I nod.**

" **Nothing else is all right." His whisper tickles my cheek. "But we are."**

" **Tobias," I say. But whatever I was about to say gets lost in my head, and I press my mouth to his, because I know that kissing him will distract me from everything.**

 **He kisses me back. His hand starts on my cheek, and then brushes over my side, fitting to the bend in my waist, curving over my hip, sliding to my bare leg, making me shiver. I press closer to him and wrap my leg around him. My head buzzes with nervousness, but the rest of me seems to know exactly what it's doing, because it all pulses to the same rhythm, all wants the same thing: to escape itself and become a part of him instead.**

"This can't be happening," Zeke shouts. "You two can't be making out in the book when you aren't talking here. You need to make up right now."

"Zeke," I say in a warning voice.

"Don't give me that Four. What if you have sex for the first time and you aren't even liking each other. You need to make up _right_ now," Zeke says.

"I'm not listening to this," Tris says, getting up and walking out of the room.

"Go after her," Shauna says. "And try not to say anything stupid."

I give her a stern look but she just laughs at me.

"Tris," I say as I walk into our room.

Tris turns to me and she has tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry," I say. It just feels so weak and pathetic.

I walk over and try to hug her but she starts to push me away. "Tris, please don't. I know I reacted badly."

Tris walks just far enough from me that I can't reach her with my outstretched hand. "We made a promise Tobias. We made a promise and the first time you don't like what you hear you push me away. How do you think that made me feel? Not only that but you did it in a room full of people."

"So are you just embarrassed that I called you out because our friends were there?" I ask. I know that isn't the reason. I know I broke our promise. I know I am about to get an absolute ear full, I also know I probably deserve it.

"Did you hear any of what I just said?"

I sigh, Yes, I think, I heard everything she just said I just don't know how to tell her. Here goes nothing. "I heard it all. I'm sorry, I just. . . I, I felt like you understood me. Then when I heard what you were thinking I felt like you didn't and it hurt. I'd never told anyone about what happened in that house. I couldn't, I didn't want anyone to know me. But you, I, I didn't want to hide myself from you. For the first time in my life I wanted more."

I see the tears start to flow down Tris' face and I hate that I am the one that has caused them. "I'm sorry, please don't cry."

"I'm not crying because I'm upset with you. I am a little overwhelmed and what you just said, I've been thinking about what I was thinking in Amity and I realised that, I see you as the strongest person I know. You are so strong and manly. But you see yourself as the little boy that's mother abandoned him when he was nine and whose father beat him every chance he got."

"Strong and manly?"

"Yes," she says with a grin on her face and a blush in her cheeks.

"So are we good?" I ask.

Tris nods and stands on her toes and kisses me.

I pull away from the kiss and say, "ready to read more?"

"No. I hate our lives being on display like this," she says. "Especially when we haven't done any of it."

"Yeah. I know what you mean."

* * *

"Finally," Christina says. "Can we get this over with? I wish we could jump ahead and see what everyone else is doing."

"Patience Christina," Zeke says. "I for one love watching Four make a fool of himself with a girl. I've waited a long time for this."

"Thanks Zeke," I say.

Will starts to read.

 **His mouth moves against mine, and his hand slips under the hem of the T-shirt, and I don't stop him, though I know I should. Instead a faint sigh escapes me, and heat rushes into my cheeks, embarrassment. Either he didn't hear me or he didn't care, because he presses his palm to my lower back, presses me closer. His fingers move slowly up my back, tracing my spine. My shirt creeps up my body, and I don't pull it down, even when I feel cool air on my stomach.**

"Tris!" Marlene squeals. "You're almost naked."

Everybody looks at Tris and she blushes a deep red and hides her face in my shirt.

"You are so cute," Marlene coos.

"Thanks Marlene," Tris mumbles from behind my shirt.

Thank goodness they have no idea what's been happening in our bedroom. I couldn't stand to hear their responses to any of that.

"Why have you blushed Four?" Zeke says.

Dammit, Zeke is going to know what I was thinking about.

"I know," Zeke says nodding his head with a smirk on his face. "You know I want details."

"That won't be happening," I state.

"What are you two talking about?" Uriah asks.

"Nothing," I say. "Will just keep reading."

Zeke just lets out a laugh and then whispers to Shauna. Her expression is of shock and then she starts to giggle.

"What is going on?" Christina asks.

"Will," I almost yell. "Read."

 **He kisses my neck, and I grab his shoulder to steady myself, gathering his shirt into my fist. His hand reaches the top of my back and curls around my neck. My shirt is twisted around his arm, and our kisses become desperate. I know my hands are shaking from all the nervous energy inside me, so I tighten my grip on his shoulder so he won't notice.**

 **Then his fingers brush the bandage on my shoulder, and a dart of pain goes through me. It didn't hurt much, but it brings me back to reality. I can't be with him in that way if one of my reasons for wanting it is to distract myself from grief.**

"Tris," Zeke whines, clearly frustrated.

 **I lean back and carefully pull the hem of my shirt down so it covers me again. For a second we just lie there, our heavy breaths mixing. I don't mean to cry—now is not a good time to cry; no, it has to stop—but I can't get the tears out of my eyes, no matter how many times I blink.**

" **Sorry," I say.**

 **He says almost sternly, "Don't apologize." He brushes the tears from my cheeks.**

"You are so sweet Four," Marlene says.

 **I know that I am birdlike, made narrow and small as if for taking flight, built straight-waisted and fragile. But when he touches me like he can't bear to take his hand away, I don't wish I was any different.**

"I don't want you to be any different either," I whisper to Tris. This brings a smile to her face.

" **I don't mean to be such a mess," I say, my voice cracking. "I just feel so ..." I shake my head.**

" **It's wrong," he says. "It doesn't matter if your parents are in a better place—they aren't here with you, and that's wrong, Tris. It shouldn't have happened. It shouldn't have happened to you. And anyone who tells you it's okay is a liar."**

 **A sob racks my body again, and he wraps his arms around me so tightly I find it difficult to breathe, but it doesn't matter. My dignified weeping gives way to full-on ugliness, my mouth open and my face contorted and sounds like a dying animal coming from my throat. If this continues I will break apart, and maybe that would be better, maybe it would be better to shatter and bear nothing.**

"I hope we can save them," Lynn says. "I couldn't imagine what book Tris is going through."

"Thanks Lynn," Tris says.

Lynn just gives her a smile.

 **He doesn't speak for a long time, until I am quiet again.**

" **Sleep," he says. "I'll fight the bad dreams off if they come to get you."**

" **With what?"**

" **My bare hands, obviously."**

"I doubt you will have any bad dreams now," Uriah says.

"Why is that?" Tris asks him.

"I wouldn't want to have to fight Four if I was a bad dream."

"You are ridiculous," I say.

"Why? It's true," Uriah says. "Do you not realise just how scary you can be?"

"You could be too," Eric says. "If you would just wipe that bloody smile off your face for five minutes."

 **I wrap my arm around his waist and take a deep breath of his shoulder. He smells like sweat and fresh air and mint, from the salve he sometimes uses to relax his sore muscles. He smells safe, too, like sunlit walks in the orchard and silent breakfasts in the dining hall. And in the moments before I drift off to sleep, I almost forget about our war-torn city and all the conflict that will come to find us soon, if we don't find it first.**

 **In the moments before I drift off to sleep, I hear him whisper, "I love you, Tris."**

 **And maybe I would say it back, but I am too far gone.**

"Maybe?" Shauna gasps. "Only a maybe. Seriously book Tris needs a smack in the head."

"I'll try to remember that next time I see her," Tris says.

"Good," Shauna says and they both start laughing.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

FOUR'S POV

"One more for the night?" Max says.

"Yeah. Let's hope they leave Amity soon," Eric replies. "Get reading Will."

 **CHAPTER SIX**

 **That morning I wake up to the buzz of an electric razor. Tobias stands in front of the mirror, his head tilted so he can see the corner of his jaw.**

 **I hug my knees, covered by the sheet, and watch him.**

"You couldn't wait until she woke up to do that?" Tori asks.

I just shrug. How would I know?

" **Good morning," he says. "How did you sleep?"**

" **Okay." I get up, and as he tilts his head back to address his chin with the razor, I wrap my arms around him, pressing my forehead to his back where the Dauntless tattoo peeks out from beneath his shirt.**

 **He sets the razor down and folds his hands over mine. Neither of us breaks the silence. I listen to him breathe, and he strokes my fingers idly, the task at hand forgotten.**

" **I should go get ready," I say after a while. I am reluctant to leave, but I am supposed to work in the laundry rooms, and I don't want the Amity to say I'm not fulfilling my part of the deal they offered us.**

"That sounds like a fun day, not," Uriah chuckles.

"It could be worse," I say.

"How?"

"I don't know. There would have to be worse jobs to do on a farm," I say.

" **I'll get you something to wear," he says.**

 **I walk barefoot down the hallway a few minutes later, wearing the shirt I slept in and a pair of shorts Tobias borrowed from the Amity. When I get back to my bedroom, Peter is standing next to my bed.**

"This can't be good," Christina says.

"I forgot that little weasel was there," Lynn says.

 **Instinct makes me straighten up and search the room for a blunt object.**

" **Get out," I say as steadily as I can. But it's hard to keep my voice from shaking. I can't help but remember the look in his eyes as he held me over the chasm by my throat or slammed me against the wall in the Dauntless compound.**

"Yeah but you need to remember that you shot him Tris," Zeke laughs.

 **He turns to look at me. Lately when he looks at me it's without his usual malice—instead he just seems exhausted, his posture slouched, his wounded arm in a sling. But I am not fooled.**

" **What are you doing in my room?"**

 **He walks closer to me. "What are you doing stalking Marcus? I saw you after breakfast yesterday."**

"It sounds like he is stalking you Tris," Shauna says.

I feel a shiver run through Tris and I hold her closer to me.

 **I match his stare with my own. "That's none of your business. Get out."**

" **I'm here because I don't know why you get to keep track of that hard drive," he says. "It's not like you're particularly stable these days."**

" _ **I'm**_ **unstable?" I laugh. "I find that a little funny, coming from you."**

 **Peter pinches his lips together and says nothing.**

 **I narrow my eyes. "Why are you so interested in the hard drive anyway?"**

" **I'm not stupid," he says. "I know it contains more than the simulation data."**

" **No, you aren't stupid, are you?" I say. "You think if you deliver it to the Erudite, they'll forgive your indiscretion and let you back in their good graces."**

"He is such a dirty double crossing asshole," Eric sneers.

" **I don't want to be back in their good graces," he says, stepping forward again. "If I had, I wouldn't have helped you in the Dauntless compound."**

 **I jab his sternum with my index finger, digging in my fingernail. "You helped me because you didn't want me to shoot you again."**

"I like this Tris," Lynn says.

" **I may not be an Abnegation-loving faction traitor." He seizes my finger. "But no one gets to control me, especially not the Erudite."**

"Bet you wish you knew that before you let him help you," I say to Eric.

"Well I know now," Eric replies. "Thanks for the heads up."

 **I yank my hand back, twisting so that he won't be able to hold on. My hands are sweaty.**

" **I don't expect you to understand." I wipe my hands on the hem of my shirt as I inch toward the dresser. "I'm sure if it had been Candor and not Abnegation that got attacked, you would have just let your family get shot between the eyes without protest. But I'm not like that."**

" **Careful what you say about my family, Stiff." He moves with me, toward the dresser, but I carefully shift so that I stand between him and the drawers. I'm not going to reveal the hard drive's location by getting it out while he's in here, but I don't want to leave the path to it clear, either.**

 **His eyes shift to the dresser behind me, to the left side, where the hard drive is hidden. I frown at him, and then notice something I didn't before: a rectangular bulge in one of his pockets.**

" **Give it to me," I say. "Now."**

" **No."**

" **Give it to me, or so help me, I will kill you in your sleep."**

"Just pull the gun out and shoot him," Zeke starts shouting.

"Zeke calm down," Shauna says as she rubs his back.

"He is just the worst type of person," Zeke says with a sigh.

 **He smirks. "If only you could see how ridiculous you look when you threaten people. Like a little girl telling me she's going to strangle me with her jump rope."**

"He just doesn't learn does he," Tori says. "You think shooting him would have been enough."

 **I start toward him, and he shifts back, into the hallway.**

" **Don't call me 'little girl.'"**

" **I'll call you whatever I want."**

 **I jerk into action, aiming my left fist where I know it will hurt the worst: at the bullet wound in his arm. He dodges the punch, but instead of trying again, I seize his arm as hard as I can and wrench it to the side. Peter screams at the top of his lungs, and while he's distracted by the pain, I kick him hard in the knee, and he falls to the ground.**

"Go Tris. Go Tris. Go Tris," Uriah and Zeke start shouting.

"Not this again," Lynn groans. "Just shut it will you."

"Come on Lynn," Uriah complains. "You can't tell me that wasn't cool."

"It doesn't mean you have to shout about it," she says.

 **People rush into the hallway, wearing gray and black and yellow and red. Peter surges toward me in a half crouch, and punches me in the stomach. I hunch over, but the pain doesn't stop me—I let out something between a groan and a scream, and launch myself at him, my left elbow pulled back near my mouth so that I can slam it into his face.**

 **One of the Amity grabs me by the arms and half lifts, half pulls me away from Peter. The wound in my shoulder throbs, but I hardly feel it through the pulse of adrenaline. I strain toward him and try to ignore the stunned faces of the Amity and the Abnegation—and Tobias—around me, and the woman kneels next to Peter, whispering words in a soothing tone of voice. I try to ignore his groans of pain and the guilt stabbing at my stomach. I hate him. I don't care. I hate him.**

"He was always really good at playing the victim," Christina says. "He did it all the time in Candor."

" **Tris, calm down!" Tobias says.**

" **He has the hard drive!" I yell. "He stole it from me! He has it!"**

 **Tobias walks over to Peter, ignoring the woman crouched beside him, and presses his foot into Peter's rib cage to keep him in place. He then reaches into Peter's pocket and takes out the hard drive.**

 **Tobias says to him—very quietly—"We won't be in a safe house forever, and this wasn't very smart of you." Then he turns toward me and adds, "Not very smart of you, either. Do you want to get us kicked out?"**

"It's just like being back in initiation and having to referee the fights," Eric says with a chuckle. "Although I would have let them keep fighting."

"Of course you would have," I say shaking my head.

"You can't tell me that you wouldn't like to see Tris beat the shit out of him," Eric says. "Remember when he fought Edward? Damn that was fun to watch."

 **I scowl. The Amity man with his hand on my arm starts to pull me down the hallway. I try to wrench my body out of his grasp.**

"The Amity are getting a little violent here," Uriah says. "Who knew."

" **What do you think you're doing? Let go of me!"**

" **You violated the terms of our peace agreement," he says gently. "We must follow protocol."**

" **Just go," says Tobias. "You need to cool down."**

 **I search the faces of the crowd that has gathered. No one argues with Tobias. Their eyes skirt mine. So I allow two Amity men to escort me down the hallway.**

" **Watch your step," one of them says. "The floorboards are uneven here."**

 **My head pounds, a sign that I am calming down. The graying Amity man opens a door on the left. A label on the door says CONFLICT ROOM.**

" **Are you putting me in time-out or something?" I scowl. That is something the Amity would do: put me in time-out, and then teach me to do cleansing breaths or think positive thoughts.**

"Imagine if Dauntless had a conflict room," Lynn laughs. "Half the faction would be in there."

"I think we call that the training room, Lynn," Max laughs.

 **The room is so bright I have to squint to see. The opposite wall has large windows that look out over the orchard. Despite this, the room feels small, probably because the ceiling, like the walls and floor, is also covered with wooden boards.**

" **Please sit," the older man says, gesturing toward the stool in the middle of the room. It, like all other furniture in the Amity compound, is made of unpolished wood, and looks sturdy, like it is still attached to the earth. I do not sit.**

" **The fight is over," I say. "I won't do it again. Not here."**

" **We have to follow protocol," the younger man says. "Please sit, and we'll discuss what happened, and then we'll let you go."**

"I don't think I'd like to have to spend time in Amity," Lynn says.

"I don't think Amity would like you too either Lynn," Eric says with a chuckle.

 **All their voices are so soft. Not hushed, like the Abnegation speak, always treading holy ground and trying not to disturb. Soft, soothing, low—I wonder, then, if that is something they teach their initiates here. How best to speak, move, smile, to encourage peace.**

 **I don't want to sit down, but I do, perched on the edge of the chair so I can get up fast, if necessary. The younger man stands in front of me. Hinges creak behind me. I look over my shoulder—the older man is fumbling with something on a counter behind me.**

" **What are you doing?"**

" **I am making tea," he says.**

" **I don't think tea is really the solution to this."**

" **Then tell us," the younger man says, drawing my attention back to the windows. He smiles at me. "What do you believe is the solution?"**

" **Throwing Peter out of this compound."**

" **It seems to me," the man says gently, "that you are the one who attacked him—indeed, that you are the one who shot him in the arm."**

" **You have no idea what he did to deserve those things." My cheeks get hot again and mimic my heartbeat. "He tried to kill me. And someone else—he stabbed someone else in the eye ... with a** _ **butter**_ **knife. He is evil. I had every right to—"**

 **I feel a sharp pain in my neck. Dark spots cover the man in front of me, obscuring my view of his face.**

"Did they just inject her?" Marlene gasps. "What happened to being peaceful?"

" **I'm sorry, dear," he says. "We are just following protocol."**

 **The older man is holding a syringe. A few drops of whatever he injected me with are still in it. They are bright green, the color of grass. I blink rapidly, and the dark spots disappear, but the world still swims before me, like I am tilting forward and back in a rocking chair.**

" **How do you feel?" the younger man says.**

" **I feel ..." Angry, I was about to say. Angry with Peter, angry with the Amity. But that's not true, is it? I smile. "I feel good. I feel a little like ... like I'm floating. Or swaying. How do you feel?"**

"Peace serum," Zeke sighs.

"What?" Tris calls out. "They injected me with peace serum."

"This is going to be great," Eric says rubbing his hands together.

"Why are you so excited?" I ask Eric.

"Are you serious? This is going to be the funniest thing ever," Eric replies.

"I'd like to see you on peace serum," Tris mumbles.

"Oh, oh, oh. Could you imagine it? Eric on peace serum, that would be awesome," Lynn says with a laugh.

"Don't you laugh Lynn. I'd pay to see you on it as well," Shauna starts to laugh. Lynn and Eric are both wearing scowls.

"I'd love to try it," Zeke says like he is deep in thought.

"We know!" Shouts everyone in the room. Then we all start laughing.

"I think it would be great if we could lock Four, Eric and Lynn all in a room and inject them with peace serum," Marlene says with a smile. "That would have to be the funniest thing that could ever happen."

"How did I get stuck in this room?" I ask.

"Four do you really need us to answer that?" Tori says.

"No," I say. I hope I never get stuck in a room with Lynn and Eric, especially while on peace serum.

"Okay, let's just calm down a bit and see how Tris copes with the peace serum," Max chuckles. "Keep reading Will."

" **Dizziness is a side effect of the serum. You may want to rest this afternoon. And I'm feeling well. Thank you for asking," he says. "You may leave now, if you would like."**

" **Can you tell me where to find Tobias?" I say. When I imagine his face, affection for him bubbles up inside me, and all I want to do is kiss him. "Four, I mean. He's handsome, isn't he? I don't really know why he likes me so much. I'm not very nice, am I?"**

"Tris you are so funny," Marlene laughs.

" **Not most of the time, no," the man says. "But I think you could be, if you tried."**

" **Thank you," I say. "That's nice of you to say."**

" **I think you'll find him in the orchard," he says. "I saw him go outside after the fight."**

 **I laugh a little. "The fight. What a silly thing ..."**

 **And it does seem like a silly thing, slamming your fist into someone else's body. Like a caress, but too hard. A caress is much nicer. Maybe I should have run my hand along Peter's arm instead. That would have felt better to both of us. My knuckles wouldn't ache right now.**

"This is just creepy," Uriah says.

 **I get up and steer myself toward the door. I have to lean against the wall for balance, but it's sturdy, so I don't mind. I stumble down the hallway, giggling at my inability to balance. I'm clumsy again, just like I was when I was younger. My mother used to smile at me and say, "Be careful where you put your feet, Beatrice. I don't want you to hurt yourself."**

"You are completely drunk on the stuff," Eric says and then starts to laugh.

"At least me being on peace serum has seemed to make everyone else in the room happy too," Tris says with a smile.

Eric and Lynn scowl at Tris which just makes her laugh.

 **I walk outside and the green on the trees seems greener, so potent I can almost taste it. Maybe I can taste it, and it is like the grass I decided to chew when I was a child just to see what it was like. I almost fall down the stairs because of the swaying and burst into laughter when the grass tickles my bare feet. I wander toward the orchard.**

"You ate grass?" Uriah asks.

"Yeah, I was curious," Tris says.

"What did it taste like?" Uriah asks.

"Grass and dirt," Tris replies. "I don't know."

"You are the strangest person sometimes Tris," Uriah says.

"Like you haven't done anything like that," Tris says.

"Yeah Uriah," Zeke starts laughing. "I remember you used to lick the walls."

The room bursts into laughter.

"You think I'm strange," Tris laughs. "Why would you lick walls?"

"Zeke told me they tasted like Dauntless cake. So I had to see for myself," Uriah explains.

"But you licked walls not just a wall," I say.

"Well I was trying to find the wall that would taste like the cake," Uriah tells us.

"How old were you?" Eric asks.

"Twelve," Uriah says sheepishly.

"Twelve. Are you retarded?" Lynn shouts.

The room is in a fit of laughter. Once everyone has calmed down a bit Will starts to read again.

" **Four!" I call out. Why am I calling out a number? Oh yes. Because that's his name. I call out again, "Four! Where are you?"**

" **Tris?" says a voice from the trees on my right. It almost sounds like the tree is talking to me. I giggle, but of course it's just Tobias, ducking under a branch.**

 **I run toward him, and the ground lurches to the side, so I almost fall. His hand touches my waist, steadies me. The touch sends a shock through my body, and all my insides burn like his fingers ignited them. I pull closer to him, pressing my body against his, and lift my head to kiss him.**

" **What did they—" he starts, but I stop him with my lips. He kisses me back, but too quickly, so I sigh heavily.**

" **That was lame," I say. "Okay, no it wasn't, but ..."**

 **I stand on my tiptoes to kiss him again, and he presses his finger to my lips to stop me.**

" **Tris," he says. "What did they do to you? You're acting like a lunatic."**

"This is hilarious," Zeke laughs. "Tris is a lunatic."

" **That's not very nice of you to say," I say. "They put me in a good mood, that's all. And now I really want to kiss you, so if you could just** _ **relax**_ **—"**

Zeke is rolling around in his chair. There are chuckles all around the room.

" **I'm not going to kiss you. I'm going to figure out what's going on," he says.**

 **I pout my lower lip for a second, but then I grin as the pieces come together in my mind.**

"Now we know how to get the Abnegation to loosen up," Lynn says. "Maybe we could inject the whole faction.

" **That's why you like me!" I exclaim. "Because you're not very nice either! It makes so much more sense now."**

"Oh god, this is too much," Zeke is gasping for air as he holds his side.

" **Come on," he says. "We're going to see Johanna."**

" **I like you, too."**

" **That's encouraging," he replies flatly. "Come** _ **on**_ **. Oh, for God's sake. I'll just carry you."**

Bang! Zeke has fallen off the couch. "Can we stop for a minute. I think I'm going to piss my pants," Zeke calls out as he gets up and runs to the bathroom. Even with the door closed we can still hear him laughing.

"Are we sure they don't put a little bit of truth serum in with the peace serum?" Tori asks.

"I think it has just relaxed her a little too much, taken away her inhibitions," Eric chuckles.

"I feel better now," Zeke says as he comes back into the room. "Continue Will."

 **He swings me into his arms, one arm under my knees and the other around my back. I wrap my arms around his neck and plant a kiss on his cheek. Then I discover that the air feels nice on my feet when I kick them, so I move my feet up and down as he walks us toward the building where Johanna works.**

"Now you are just getting annoying," I say to Tris.

Tris just shrugs. "Just make sure we never stay in Amity," she says.

"I will do all that I can to make sure we never stay in Amity," I say with a chuckle.

"I don't know," Zeke says. "I think we should all have a night in Amity. It could be fun."

Zeke has ten pillows thrown at him while Shauna hits him on the back off the head.

"What?" he laughs.

 **When we reach her office, she is sitting behind a desk with a stack of paper in front of her, chewing on a pencil eraser. She looks up at us, and her mouth drifts open slightly. A hunk of dark hair covers the left side of her face.**

" **You really shouldn't cover up your scar," I say. "You look prettier with your hair out of your face."**

 **Tobias sets me down too heavily. The impact is jarring and hurts my shoulder a little, but I like the sound my feet made when they hit the floor. I laugh, but neither Johanna nor Tobias laughs with me. Strange.**

" **What did you do to her?" Tobias says, terse. "What in God's name did you do?"**

" **I ..." Johanna frowns at me. "They must have given her too much. She's very small; they probably didn't take her height and weight into account."**

" **They must have given her too much of** _ **what**_ **?" he says.**

" **You have a nice voice," I say.**

" **Tris," he says, "please be quiet."**

"You can just imagine that Four is about to lose it here," Shauna says.

"Maybe they will inject him next," Lynn laughs.

"Please let the happen," Zeke puts his hands out like he is praying. Idiot.

" **The peace serum," Johanna says. "In small doses, it has a mild, calming effect and improves the mood. The only side effect is some slight dizziness. We administer it to members of our community who have trouble keeping the peace."**

 **Tobias snorts. "I'm not an idiot.** _ **Every**_ **member of your community has trouble keeping the peace, because they're all human. You probably dump it into the water supply."**

 **Johanna does not respond for a few seconds. She folds her hands in front of her.**

" **Clearly you know that is not the case, or this conflict would not have occurred," she says. "But whatever we agree to do here, we do together, as a faction. If I could give the serum to everyone in this city, I would. You would certainly not be in the situation you are in now if I had."**

" **Oh, definitely," he says. "Drugging the entire population is the best solution to our problem. Great plan."**

"One faction head has put all of Dauntless in a simulation, another wants to drug us," Tori says. "Does anyone else think that our faction system has gotten a little out of control?"

"Yeah it seems so," I say.

" **Sarcasm is not kind, Four," she says gently. "Now, I am sorry about the mistake in giving too much to Tris, I really am. But she violated the terms of our agreement, and I'm afraid that you might not be able to stay here much longer as a result. The conflict between her and the boy—Peter—is not something we can forget."**

" **Don't worry," says Tobias. "We intend to leave as soon as humanly possible."**

" **Good," she says with a small smile. "Peace between Amity and Dauntless can only happen when we maintain our distance from each other."**

" **That explains a lot."**

" **Excuse me?" she says. "What are you insinuating?"**

" **It explains," he says, gritting his teeth, "why, under a pretense of** _ **neutrality**_ **—as if such a thing is possible!—you have left us to die at the hands of the Erudite."**

"Yeah! Go Four," Eric shouts. "You tell the crazy tree hugger."

We all turn and look at Eric. What the hell has gotten into him?

"What?" he asks.

"When did you start supporting anything Four did?" Tori asks.

"I might not like _him_ , but what he is saying is correct," Eric replies. "Amity is complete bullshit. Imagine having to be drugged all the time just so you can live in your chosen faction."

"But isn't that what you are doing by putting us under simulation?" Tori asks.

"I didn't put you under simulation," Eric says with a raised eyebrow.

"Maybe not. But you are still going along with the plan," Tori snaps at him.

Eric quickly glances my way and then looks away. "Just drop it," I tell Tori.

"No Four," Tori is starting to get agitated.

"Look Tori," I sigh. "Let's just keep reading and see what happens. If we sit here blaming each other we will get nothing read."

"Why are you siding with him?" Tori asks.

"I'm not. I hate what has been done. But I can't do anything about it, _yet_ ," I reply. Giving Tori a look that hopefully tells her to just shut it for now.

 **Johanna sighs quietly and looks out the window. Beyond it is a small courtyard with vines growing in it. The vines creep onto the window's corners, like they are trying to come in and join the conversation.**

" **The Amity wouldn't do something like that," I say. "That's** _ **mean**_ **."**

" **It is for the sake of peace that we remain uninvolved—" Johanna begins.**

" **Peace." Tobias almost spits the word. "Yes, I'm sure it will be very peaceful when we are all either dead or cowering in submission under the threat of mind control or stuck in an endless simulation."**

 **Johanna's face contorts, and I mimic her, to see what it feels like to have my face that way. It doesn't feel very good. I'm not sure why she did it to begin with.**

"Tris, Tris, Tris," Zeke shakes his head.

 **She says slowly, "The decision was not mine to make. If it was, perhaps we would be having a different conversation right now."**

" **Are you saying you disagree with them?"**

" **I am saying," she says, "that it isn't my place to disagree with my faction publicly, but I might, in the privacy of my own heart."**

"Can you imagine Johanna with a gun in her hand?" Uriah asks. "I reckon she would be totally badass."

"Yeah, we could inject her with peace serum and tell her it's a game," Zeke tells Uriah.

"Yes, we can create killers who keep a smile on their face as they do it," I say, sarcasm dripping from my voice.

" **Tris and I will be gone in two days," says Tobias. "I hope your faction doesn't change their decision to make this compound a safe house."**

" **Our decisions are not easily unmade. What about Peter?"**

" **You'll have to deal with him separately," he says. "Because he won't be coming with us."**

"I'm sure that will make the Amity feel so much better, knowing that Peter is going to be staying," Lynn says. "Maybe Marcus will convert him to Abnegation."

"Great just what Abnegation need," Tris says. "Two psychopaths together."

 **Tobias takes my hand, and his skin feels nice against mine, though it's not smooth or soft. I smile apologetically at Johanna, and her expression remains unchanged.**

" **Four," she says. "If you and your friends would like to remain ... untouched by our serum, you may want to avoid the bread."**

"Do all their members know about the bread?" Marlene asks.

"I would suspect they would," I say.

"Why do you think that?" Eric asks.

"Because they all have a say on how the faction is run so, I would imagine that they all voted on it."

 **Tobias says thank you over his shoulder as we make our way down the hallway together, me skipping every other step.**

"Can you show us how you skip Tris?" Uriah teases.

"You're getting better at that scary stare Tris," Shauna laughs. "You are spending way too much time with Four."

"End of chapter," Will says.

"How much longer are we going to be stuck reading about Amity?" Lynn groans.

"Come on Lynn," Zeke whines. "You can't tell me that wasn't some funny shit."

"Doesn't mean I want to keep hearing about the place," Lynn says.

"Let's just call it a night," Max says. "We can get through more tomorrow."


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER EIGHT

FOUR'S POV

I am in the training room with Tris and Lynn, they are sparring on the mat. Tris is becoming a really good fighter.

"Four?" Lynn asks. "Would you spar with me?"

"What would you want me to spar with you?"

"Because you're the best."

"I can't Lynn, I'm sorry," I say. I wish I could but I just can't do it.

"I'll spar with you."

I turn to see Eric standing in the door way.

"Do you really think that is a good idea Eric?" I say.

"Why not? I don't have issues with hitting girls Four," Eric goads me. "Plus, it is only sparring. It's not like I'm trying to kill her or anything."

"Fine, do what you want," I say. I really hope he doesn't try to hurt her. Although knowing Lynn she will probably give him what for.

"We can start tomorrow Lynn," Eric says and then walks away.

"Promise me you will tell me if he does anything to hurt you Lynn," I warn her.

"I will. I just want to be the best I can."

"I'm going to take a shower," I say.

"Wait," Tris calls out to me. "I'll come with you."

* * *

"Where have you two been?" Eric asks.

"What difference does it make?" I ask.

"You are only getting sandwiches for lunch. I couldn't find Tris to help me cook anything."

"Can't you cook by yourself?" I still don't get why he likes cooking with Tris, it baffles me. Especially when Tris keeps telling me he is actually pleasant. I know he isn't trying to flirt with her, that much I have picked up on. But I really don't understand any of it.

"You try cooking for twelve people by yourself Four," Eric snaps.

"They were showering," Lynn says in a teasing voice as she enters the kitchen.

"Really?" Eric sounds surprised. "Looks like you will only have six fears when you go through your landscape Tris."

"Did someone just say Tris only has six fears?" Zeke says. He pats me on the back and says, "proud of you Four." Then walks away.

"Hey," Tris calls out.

"There is nothing wrong with doing it," Eric says.

Tris has turned bright red and Lynn is laughing at her.

"Back off," I say.

"Don't get so uptight," Eric calmly says. "Or is it that you aren't doing it, that has you all worked up?" Eric laughs as he takes a plate of sandwiches into the dining room.

I go over and give Tris a hug. "This is so embarrassing," she says.

"Yeah. I know," I mutter. "It feels like everyone is watching for a sign to where we are in our relationship."

"Like we are going to share anyway," Tris mumbles as we walk in to have lunch with the others.

* * *

"We should have another water pistol fight," Uriah says.

"Now?" I ask.

"Whenever."

"Let's leave that to the morning," Max says. "Otherwise we will never get this crap read."

"What time?" Eric asks.

"Does it matter?" Zeke asks.

"Yes, I've already made plans for the morning," Eric states.

"We are all stuck in a house together. What plans could you have made?" Zeke asks.

"He has plans with me," Lynn tells them.

"WHAT?" Shauna screams.

"Calm down," Eric quietly says. "We are just sparring."

"Just sparring?" Shauna's voice is still raised. "Are you trying to kill her? I thought you were sparring with Tris."

"Tris your sparring with Lynn?" Christina asks. "Why didn't you ask me?"

"I'm not trying to kill anybody," Eric snaps. "Lynn wants to improve, so I said I would help her. Sparring with Tris is good for Tris but it doesn't help Lynn."

"I'm still going to be sparring with Tris," Lynn says. "I like sparring with Tris but Eric is right I need more of a challenge."

"Spar with Four," Shauna demands.

"He won't spar with her," Eric replies. "I think we all understand why now. But still, I am happy to do it."

"This is ridiculous," Shauna is sounding frustrated. "What about Uriah or Zeke."

"I'm not sparring with her," Zeke says. "She'd kick my butt."

"Well Uriah then?" Shauna asks as she rolls her eyes at Zeke.

"We are to evenly matched," Uriah tells Shauna. "She really needs Four or Eric."

"I don't like this," Shauna huffs and crosses her arms.

"You don't have to like it Shauna," Lynn states. "But I am going to do it anyway."

"Why is it that the best fighter in our faction won't fight unless he is commanded too?" Max asks.

"Isn't that part of being a good soldier Max? Following orders," I say.

"So, as your leader if I told you that you had to spar with Lynn you would?"

"Not while we are in this place," I say.

"Let's say ten o'clock," Uriah says.

"What's at ten?" Zeke asks.

"Water pistol fight," Uriah says.

"Oh yeah, okay," Zeke says.

"So I'll meet you at eight?" Eric asks Lynn.

"Sounds like a plan," Lynn says with a smile.

"Is there a reason we are in the bedrooms we are in?" Eric asks.

"Why do you ask?" I ask.

"Because there are two spare rooms and I want to move into one of them," Eric explains.

"Hoping to get some?" I joke.

"Four!" Shauna calls out.

"What?" I ask confused.

"You are talking about my little sister," Shauna replies.

"No I'm not, I'm just trying to give a little back to Eric," I say.

Eric laughs. "You're an idiot," he tells me.

"I won't allow it," Shauna screeches.

"Where Eric sleeps has nothing to do with me," Lynn says.

"Please," Shauna scoffs. "First you start sparring, then . . . then, well who knows where that will lead."

"I spar with Tris everyday. Does that mean I'm going to be trying to make out with her?" Lynn questions her sister.

"Can I be there if you do?" Eric asks.

Yeah, I would want to be there for that too. But there is no way I am going to say that out loud.

"Tobias," Tris yells and then smacks me in the arm.

"Dude, you said that out loud," Zeke guffaws.

"Oh," I say. Yeah I'm blushing right now.

"This is getting a little off topic," Max says cautiously. "Will, I think it would be a good time to start reading."

"Remember to tell me if it does happen," Zeke winks.

"Ezekial," Shauna screams as she punches him in the arm.

"What guy doesn't want to see two girls making out?" Zeke says.

"He's right," Will says.

"Not you too," Christina gasps.

"Start reading Will," Max demands. "For the safety of all men in this room, just read."

"Wait!" Eric says. "So I'm going to move into one of the spare rooms."

"Why?" I ask.

"Because Max snores like a machine gun."

"Ha, I thought that was like a generator," Zeke says.

"Sleep wherever you want," Uriah says.

"Just nowhere near my sister," Shauna calls out.

Eric just rolls his eyes at her.

 **CHAPTER SEVEN**

 **The serum wears off five hours later, when the sun is just beginning to set. Tobias shut me in my room for the rest of the day, checking on me every hour. This time when he comes in, I am sitting on the bed, glaring at the wall.**

"Five hours," Zeke sounds shocked.

"Still want to try the peace serum Zeke?" I ask.

"Not as much as I'd like to see you and Eric on it," Zeke retorts.

"Not in this lifetime," Eric says.

" **Thank God," he says, pressing his forehead to the door. "I was beginning to think it would never wear off and I would have to leave you here to ... smell flowers, or whatever you wanted to do while you were on that stuff."**

" **I'll kill them," I say. "I will** _ **kill**_ **them."**

" **Don't bother. We're leaving soon anyway," he says, closing the door behind him. He takes the hard drive from his back pocket. "I thought we could hide this behind your dresser."**

" **That's where it was before."**

" **Yeah, and that's why Peter won't look for it here again." Tobias pulls the dresser away from the wall with one hand and wedges the hard drive behind it with the other.**

" **Why couldn't I fight the peace serum?" I say. "If my brain is weird enough to resist the simulation serum, why not this one?"**

"I wonder what other serums you can resist?" Eric says.

"I'm sure Jeanine would love to test that out," Tris retorts.

" **I don't know, really," he says. He drops down next to me on the bed, jostling the mattress. "Maybe in order to fight off a serum, you have to want to."**

" **Well, obviously I** _ **wanted**_ **to," I say, frustrated, but without conviction. Did I want to? Or was it nice to forget about anger, forget about pain, forget about everything for a few hours?**

" **Sometimes," he says, sliding his arm across my shoulders, "people just want to be happy, even if it's not real."**

 **He's right. Even now, this peace between us comes from not talking about things—about Will, or my parents, or me almost shooting him in the head, or Marcus. But I do not dare to disturb it with the truth, because I am too busy clinging to it for support.**

" **You might be right," I say quietly.**

" **Are you** _ **conceding?"**_ **he says, his mouth falling open with mock surprise. "Seems like that serum did you some good after all..."**

 **I shove him as hard as I can. "Take that back. Take it back** _ **now**_ **."**

" **Okay, okay!" He puts up his hands. "It's just ... I'm not very nice either, you know. That's why I like you so—"**

" **Out!" I shout, pointing at the door.**

 **Laughing to himself, Tobias kisses my cheek and leaves the room.**

"I'm glad you can laugh about it Four," Marlene says.

"I just don't ever want to have to live through it," I say. "Just hearing about it was enough."

"Page break," Will says.

 **That evening, I am too embarrassed by what happened to go to dinner, so I spend the time in the branches of an apple tree at the far end of the orchard, picking ripe apples. I climb as high as I dare to get them, muscles burning. I have discovered that sitting still leaves little spaces for the grief to get in, so I stay busy.**

"You seem to be fitting right in there in Amity," Zeke laughs.

 **I am wiping my forehead with the hem of my shirt, standing on a branch, when I hear the sound. It is faint, at first, joining the buzz of cicadas. I stand still to listen, and after a moment, I realize what it is: cars.**

 **The Amity own about a dozen trucks that they use for transporting goods, but they only do that on weekends. The back of my neck tingles. If it isn't the Amity, it's probably the Erudite. But I have to be sure.**

 **I grab the branch above me with both hands, but pull myself up with only my left arm. I'm surprised I'm still able to do that. I stand hunched, twigs and leaves tangled in my hair. A few apples fall to the ground when I shift my weight. Apple trees aren't very tall; I may not be able to see far enough.**

 **I use the nearby branches as steps, with my hands to steady me, twisting and leaning around the tree's maze. I remember climbing the Ferris wheel on the pier, my muscles shaking, my hands throbbing. I am wounded now, but stronger, and the climbing feels easier.**

"Plus, you aren't as high up," I say. Just the thought of climbing anything makes me shudder.

 **The branches get thinner, weaker. I lick my lips and look at the next one. I need to climb as high as possible, but the branch I'm aiming for is short and looks pliable. I put my foot on it, testing its strength. It bends, but holds. I start to lift myself up, to put the other foot down, and the branch snaps.**

 **I gasp as I fall back, seizing the tree trunk at the last second. This will have to be high enough. I stand on my tiptoes and squint in the direction of the sound.**

"God Tris," Marlene squeals. "You are always getting yourself into trouble."

 **At first I see nothing but a stretch of farmland, a strip of empty ground, the fence, and the fields and beginnings of buildings that lie beyond it. But approaching the gate are a few moving specks—silver, when the light catches them. Cars with black roofs—solar panels, which means only one thing. Erudite.**

 **A breath hisses between my teeth. I don't allow myself to think; I just put one foot down, then the other, so fast that bark peels off the branches and drifts toward the ground. As soon as my feet touch the earth, I run.**

"Run Tris, run!" Shouts Zeke.

 **I count the rows of trees as I pass them. Seven, eight. The branches dip low, and I pass just beneath them. Nine, ten. I hold my right arm against my chest as I sprint faster, the bullet wound in my shoulder throbbing with each footstep.** _ **Eleven, twelve.**_

 **When I reach the thirteenth row, I throw my body to the right, down one of the aisles. The trees are close together in the thirteenth row. Their branches grow into one another, creating a maze of leaves and twigs and apples.**

 **My lungs sting from a lack of oxygen, but I am not far from the end of the orchard. Sweat runs into my eyebrows. I reach the dining hall and throw open the door, shoving my way through a group of Amity men, and he is there; Tobias sits at one end of the cafeteria with Peter and Caleb and Susan. I can barely see them between the spots on my vision, but Tobias touches my shoulder.**

" **Erudite," is all I manage to say.**

" **Coming here?" he says.**

 **I nod.**

" **Do we have time to run?"**

 **I am not sure about that.**

 **By now, the Abnegation at the other end of the table are paying attention. They gather around us.**

" **Why do we need to run?" says Susan. "The Amity established this place as a safe house. No conflict allowed."**

"I can't believe after Erudite decimated her faction she can think that Amity would be able to keep them out," Lynn says.

" **The Amity will have trouble enforcing that policy," says Marcus. "How do you stop conflict without conflict?"**

 **Susan nods.**

" **But we can't leave," Peter says. "We don't have time. They'll see us."**

" **Tris has a gun," Tobias says. "We can try to fight our way out."**

 **He starts toward the dormitory.**

" **Wait," I say. "I have an idea." I scan the crowd of Abnegation. "Disguises. The Erudite don't know for sure that we're still here. We can pretend to be Amity."**

" **Those of us who aren't dressed like the Amity should go to the dormitories, then," Marcus says. "The rest of you, put your hair down; try to mimic their behavior."**

"Smart thinking Tris," I say.

 **The Abnegation who are dressed in gray leave the dining hall in a pack and cross the courtyard to the guests' dormitory. Once inside, I run to my bedroom, get on my hands and knees, and reach under the mattress for the gun.**

 **I feel around for a few seconds before I find it, and when I do, my throat pinches, and I can't swallow. I don't want to touch the gun. I don't want to touch it again.**

 _ **Come on, Tris**_ **. I shove the gun under the waistband of my red pants. It is lucky they are so baggy. I notice the vials of healing salve and pain medicine on the bedside table and shove them in my pocket, just in case we do manage to escape.**

 **Then I reach behind the dresser for the hard drive.**

 **If the Erudite catch us—which is likely—they will search us, and I don't want to just hand over the attack simulation again. But this hard drive also contains the surveillance footage from the attack. The record of our losses. Of my parents' deaths. The only piece of them I have left. And because the Abnegation don't take photographs, the only documentation I have of how they looked.**

"We can get pictures for you," Zeke says.

"How?" Tris says.

"From the control room in Dauntless. We have to keep the surveillance footage for years," Zeke says.

"Thanks Zeke," Tris gives him a small smile.

"That's if we get to go back to Dauntless," Zeke replies.

"Why wouldn't we go back to Dauntless?" Christina asks.

"What do you think is going to happen when we leave here?" I ask.

"Oh," is all Christina can respond with.

 **Years from now, when my memories begin to fade, what will I have to remind me of what they looked like? Their faces will change in my mind. I will never see them again.**

 _ **Don't be stupid. It's not important**_ **.**

 **I squeeze the hard drive so tightly it hurts.**

 _ **Then why does it feel so important?**_

" **Don't be stupid," I say aloud. I grit my teeth and grab the lamp from my bedside table. I yank the plug from the socket, throw the lampshade onto the bed, and crouch over the hard drive. Blinking tears from my eyes, I slam the base of the lamp into it, creating a dent.**

 **I bring the lamp down again, and again, and again, until the hard drive cracks and pieces of it spread across the floor. Then I kick the shards under the dresser, put the lamp back, and walk into the hallway, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand.**

"Amity are going to hate cleaning your room Tris," Uriah says with a chuckle.

 **A few minutes later, a small crowd of gray-clad men and women—and Peter—stand in the hallway, sorting through stacks of clothes.**

" **Tris," says Caleb. "You're still wearing gray."**

 **I pinch my father's shirt, and hesitate.**

" **It's Dad's," I say. If I change out of it, I will have to leave it behind. I bite my lip so that the pain will steady me. I have to get rid of it. It's just a shirt. That's all it is.**

"How many days have you been wearing it?" Christina asks. "It must be getting smelly by now."

" **I'll put it on under mine," Caleb says. "They'll never see it."**

 **I nod and grab a red shirt from the dwindling pile of clothes. It is large enough to conceal the bulge of the gun. I duck into a nearby room to change, and hand off the gray shirt to Caleb when I get to the hallway. The door is open, and through it I see Tobias stuffing Abnegation clothes into the trash bin.**

" **Do you think the Amity will lie for us?" I ask him, leaning out the open doorway.**

" **To prevent conflict?" Tobias nods. "Absolutely."**

 **He wears a red collared shirt and a pair of jeans that are fraying at the knee. The combination looks ridiculous on him.**

" **Nice shirt," I say.**

 **He wrinkles his nose at me. "It was the only thing that covered up the neck tattoo, okay?"**

 **I smile nervously. I forgot about my tattoos, but the shirt hides them well enough.**

 **The Erudite cars pull up to the compound. There are five of them, all silver with black roofs. Their engines seem to purr as the wheels bump over uneven ground. I slip just inside the building, leaving the door open behind me, and Tobias busies himself with the latch on the trash bin.**

 **The cars all pull to a stop, and the doors pop open, revealing at least five men and women in Erudite blue.**

 **And about fifteen in Dauntless black.**

"They sent twenty people to find you," Tori says. "That seems a little excessive."

 **When the Dauntless come closer, I see strips of blue fabric wrapped around their arms that can only signify their allegiance to Erudite. The faction that enslaved their minds.**

 **Tobias takes my hand and leads me into the dormitory.**

" **I didn't think our faction would be that stupid," he says. "You have the gun, right?"**

" **Yes," I say. "But there's no guarantee I can fire it with any accuracy with my left hand."**

" **You should work on that," he says. Always an instructor.**

"That's what you tell her?" Eric asks. "Why didn't you just take the gun?"

"No idea," I say. "Haven't been in the situation before," I answer.

" **I will," I say. I shake a little as I add, "If we live."**

 **His hands skim my bare arms. "Just bounce a little when you walk," he says, kissing my forehead, "and pretend you're afraid of their guns"—another kiss between my eyebrows—"and act like the shrinking violet you could never be"—a kiss on my cheek—"and you'll be fine."**

" **Okay," I say. My hands tremble as I grip his shirt collar. I pull his mouth down to mine.**

"That almost seems like you are kissing him goodbye," Marlene says.

"I'm sure there is a good chance we are going to die right about now," Tris says.

"Can't argue with you on that," Marlene replies.

 **A bell sounds, once, twice, three times. It is a summons to the dining hall, where the Amity gather for less formal occasions than the meeting we attended. We join the crowd of Abnegation-turned-Amity.**

 **I pull pins from Susan's hair—the hairstyle is too severe for Amity. She gives me a small, grateful smile as her hair falls on her shoulders, the first time I have ever seen it that way. It softens her square jaw.**

 **I am supposed to be braver than the Abnegation, but they don't seem as worried as I am. They offer each other smiles and walk in silence—in too much silence. I wedge my way between them and jab one of the older women in the shoulder.**

" **Tell the kids to play tag," I say to her.**

" **Tag?" she says.**

" **They're acting respectful and ... Stiff," I say, cringing as I say the word that was my nickname in Dauntless. "And Amity kids would be causing a ruckus. Just do it, okay?"**

 **The woman touches one Abnegation child on the shoulder and whispers something to him, and a few seconds later a small group of children run down the hallway, dodging Amity feet and yelling, "I touched you! You're** _ **it**_ **!" "No, that was my sleeve!"**

"I bet the kids are loving it," Shauna says. "Doesn't it seem cruel to not let your kids play simple games?"

I'm not even going to respond. We could argue this all day and it would still be the same outcome.

 **Caleb catches on, jabbing Susan in the ribs so she shrieks with laughter. I try to relax, injecting a bounce into my step as Tobias suggested, letting my arms swing as I turn corners. It is amazing how pretending to be in a different faction changes everything—even the way I walk. That must be why it's so strange that I could easily belong in three of them.**

"You may belong in three but you are stuck in one of the two you aren't," Lynn says. "Only you could get yourself into this mess."

 **We catch up to the Amity in front of us as we cross the courtyard to the dining hall and disperse among them. I keep Tobias in my peripheral vision, not wanting to stray too far from him. The Amity don't ask questions; they just let us dissolve into their faction.**

 **A pair of Dauntless traitors stand by the door to the dining hall, their guns in hand, and I stiffen. It feels real to me, suddenly, that I am unarmed and being herded into a building surrounded by Erudite and Dauntless, and if they discover me, there will be nowhere to run. They will shoot me on the spot.**

"But you aren't unarmed," Christina says.

"She is if she can't fire the gun," I say.

 **I consider making a break for it. But where would I go that they could not catch me? I try to breathe normally. I am almost past them—** _ **don't look, don't look**_ **. A few steps away—** _ **eyes away, away.**_

 **Susan loops her arm through mine.**

" **I'm telling you a joke," she says, "that you find very funny."**

 **I cover my hand with my mouth and force a giggle that sounds high-pitched and foreign, but judging by the smile she gives me, it was believable. We hang on each other the way Amity girls do, glancing at the Dauntless and then giggling again. I am amazed by how I manage to do it, with the leaden feeling inside me.**

"When your life is on the line," Eric starts. "I'm sure you would do anything to try and save it."

" **Thank you," I mutter once we're inside.**

" **You're welcome," she replies.**

 **Tobias sits across from me at one of the long tables, and Susan sits next to me. The rest of the Abnegation spread throughout the room, and Caleb and Peter are a few seats down from me.**

 **I tap my fingers on my knees as we wait for something to happen. For a long time we just sit there, and I pretend to be listening to an Amity girl telling a story on my left. But every so often I look at Tobias, and he looks back at me, like we're passing fear back and forth between us.**

 **Finally Johanna walks in with an Erudite woman. Her bright blue shirt seems to glow against her skin, which is dark brown. She searches the room as she speaks to Johanna. I hold my breath as her eyes find me—and then let it out when she moves on without a moment's hesitation. She did not recognize me.**

 **At least, not yet.**

 **Someone bangs on a tabletop, and the room goes quiet. This is it. This is the moment she either hands us over, or doesn't.**

" **Our Erudite and Dauntless friends are looking for some people," Johanna says. "Several members of Abnegation, three members of Dauntless, and a former Erudite initiate." She smiles. "In the interest of full cooperation, I told them that the people they were looking for were, in fact, here, but have since moved on. They would like permission to search the premises, which means we have to vote. Does anyone object to a search?"**

"She is seriously going to make them vote?" Eric asks. "What does she think they will do if she says no."

 **The tension in her voice suggests that if anyone does object, they should keep their mouth shut. I don't know if the Amity pick up on that kind of thing, but no one says anything. Johanna nods to the Erudite woman.**

" **Three of you stick around," the woman says to the Dauntless guards clustered by the entrance. "The rest of you, search all the buildings and report back if you find anything. Go."**

 **There is so much they could find. The pieces of the hard drive. Clothes I forgot to throw out. A suspicious lack of trinkets and decorations in our living spaces. I feel my pulse behind my eyes as the three Dauntless soldiers who stayed behind pace up and down the rows of tables.**

 **The back of my neck tingles as one of them walks behind me, his footsteps loud and heavy. Not for the first time in my life, I'm glad that I'm small and plain. I don't draw people's eyes to me.**

 **But Tobias does. He wears his pride in his posture, in the way his eyes claim everything they land on. That is not an Amity trait. It can only be a Dauntless one.**

 **The Dauntless woman walking toward him looks at him right away. Her eyes narrow as she walks closer, and then stops directly behind him.**

 **I wish the collar of his shirt were higher. I wish he didn't have so many tattoos. I wish ... "Your hair is pretty short for an Amity," she says.**

 **... he did not cut his hair like the Abnegation.**

" **It's hot," he says.**

 **The excuse might work if he knew how to deliver it, but he says it with a snap.**

"I can't imagine Four being able to blend in with the Amity," Zeke chuckles.

 **She stretches out her hand and, with her index finger, pulls back the collar of his shirt to see his tattoo.**

 **And Tobias moves.**

 **He grabs the woman's wrist, yanking her forward so she loses her balance. She hits her head against the edge of the table and falls. Across the room, a gun goes off, someone screams, and everyone dives under the tables or crouches next to the benches.**

 **Everyone except me. I sit where I was before the gunshot sounded, clutching the edge of the table. I know that's where I am, but I don't see the cafeteria anymore. I see the alley I escaped down after my mother died. I stare at the gun in my hands, at the smooth skin between Will's eyebrows.**

"Tris these thoughts are going to get you killed," Marlene cries.

 **A small sound gurgles in my throat. It would have been a scream if my teeth had not been clamped shut. The flash of memory fades, but I still can't move.**

 **Tobias grabs the Dauntless woman by the back of her neck and wrenches her to her feet. He has her gun in his hand. He uses her to shield him as he fires over her right shoulder at the Dauntless soldier across the room.**

" **Tris!" he shouts. "A little help here?"**

 **I pull my shirt up just far enough to reach the handle of the gun, and my fingers meet metal. It feels so cold that it hurts my fingertips, but that can't be; it's so hot in here. A Dauntless man at the end of the aisle aims his own revolver at me. The black spot at the end of the barrel grows around me, and I can hear my heart but nothing else.**

 **Caleb lunges forward and grabs my gun. He holds it in both hands and fires at the knees of the Dauntless man who stands just feet away from him.**

 **The Dauntless man screams and collapses, his hands clutching his leg, which gives Tobias the opportunity to shoot him in the head. His pain is momentary.**

"Who would have thought Caleb would step up," Uriah says. "Didn't think he would have it in him."

 **My entire body is trembling and I can't stop it. Tobias still has the Dauntless woman by the throat, but this time, he aims his gun at the Erudite woman.**

" **Say another word," says Tobias, "and I'll shoot."**

 **The Erudite woman's mouth is open, but she doesn't speak.**

" **Whoever's with us should start running," Tobias says, his voice filling the room.**

 **All at once, the Abnegation rise from their places under tables and benches, and start toward the door. Caleb pulls me up from the bench. I start toward the door.**

"They remind me of field mice, if they were still wearing grey," Tori chuckles.

Everyone is just looking at her except for Eric he is laughing too.

"Don't you get it?" Tori says. "Field mice would be found in Amity and the Abnegation would be like them if the . . . just, don't worry about it."

 **Then I see something. A twitch, a flicker of movement. The Erudite woman lifts a small gun, points it at a man in a yellow shirt in front of me. Instinct, not presence of mind, pushes me into a dive. My hands collide with the man, and the bullet hits the wall instead of him, instead of me.**

" **Put the gun down," says Tobias, pointing his revolver at the Erudite woman. "I have** _ **very**_ **good aim, and I'm betting that you don't."**

 **I blink a few times to get the blurriness out of my eyes. Peter stares back at me. I just saved his life. He does not thank me, and I don't acknowledge him.**

"I can't believe you just did that," Lynn shrieks. "How many people are in that room and you save the asshole who tried to kill you. Unbelievable." Lynn raise her hands above her head.

 **The Erudite woman drops her gun. Together Peter and I walk toward the door. Tobias follows us, walking backward so he can keep his gun on the Erudite woman. At the last second before he passes through the threshold, he slams the door between him and her.**

 **And we all run.**

 **We sprint down the center aisle of the orchard in a breathless pack. The night air is heavy as a blanket and smells like rain. Shouts follow us. Car doors slam. I run faster than I can possibly run, like I'm breathing adrenaline instead of air. The purr of engines chases me into the trees. Tobias's hand closes around mine.**

 **We run through a cornfield in a long line. By then, the cars have caught up to us. The headlights creep through the tall stalks, illuminating a leaf here, an ear of corn there.**

" **Split up!" someone yells, and it sounds like Marcus.**

 **We divide and spread through the field like spilling water. I grab Caleb's arm. I hear Susan gasping behind Caleb.**

 **We crash over cornstalks. The heavy leaves cut my cheeks and arms. I stare between Tobias's shoulder blades as we run. I hear a heavy thump and a scream. There are screams everywhere, to my left, to my right. Gunshots. The Abnegation are dying again, dying like they were when I pretended to be under the simulation. And all I'm doing is running.**

"You don't have any choice Tris," Lynn says.

"Yeah I can see that," Tris says.

 **Finally we reach the fence. Tobias runs along it, pushing it until he finds a hole. He holds the chain links back so Caleb, Susan, and I can crawl through. Before we start running again, I stop and look back at the cornfield we just left. I see headlights distantly glowing. But I don't hear anything.**

" **Where are the others?" whispers Susan.**

 **I say, "Gone."**

"Thank God. No more Amity," Lynn sighs. "That's if you survive."

 **Susan sobs. Tobias pulls me to his side roughly, and starts forward. My face burns with shallow cuts from the corn leaves, but my eyes are dry. The Abnegation deaths are just another weight I am unable to set down.**

 **We stay away from the dirt road the Erudite and Dauntless took to get to the Amity compound, following the train tracks toward the city. There is nowhere to hide out here, no trees or buildings that can shield us, but it doesn't matter. The Erudite can't drive through the fence anyway, and it will take them a while to reach the gate.**

" **I have to ... stop ..." says Susan from somewhere in the darkness behind me.**

 **We stop. Susan collapses to the ground, crying, and Caleb crouches next to her. Tobias and I look toward the city, which is still illuminated, because it's not midnight yet. I want to feel something. Fear, anger, grief. But I don't. All I feel is the need to keep moving.**

 **Tobias turns toward me.**

" **What was that, Tris?" he says.**

" **What?" I say, and I am ashamed of how weak my voice sounds. I don't know whether he's talking about Peter or what came before or something else.**

" **You froze! Someone was about to kill you and you just sat there!" He is yelling now. "I thought I could rely on you at least to save your own life!"**

"Cranky Four has returned," Uriah laughs.

" **Hey!" says Caleb. "Give her a break, all right?"**

" **No," says Tobias, staring at me. "She doesn't need a break." His voice softens. "What happened?"**

 **He still believes that I am strong. Strong enough that I don't need his sympathy. I used to think he was right, but now I am not sure. I clear my throat.**

" **I panicked," I say. "It won't happen again."**

 **He raises an eyebrow.**

" **It won't," I say again, louder this time.**

" **Okay." He looks unconvinced. "We have to get somewhere safe. They'll regroup and start looking for us."**

" **You think they care that much about us?" I say.**

" **Us, yes," he says. "We were probably the only ones they were really after, apart from Marcus, who is most likely dead."**

"We can only hope," I mutter.

 **I don't know how I expected him to say it—with relief, maybe, because Marcus, his father and the menace of his life, is finally gone. Or with pain and sadness, because his father might have been killed, and sometimes grief doesn't make much sense. But he says it like it's just a fact, like the direction we're moving or the time of day.**

" **Tobias ..." I start to say, but then I realize I don't know what comes after it.**

" **Time to go," Tobias says over his shoulder.**

 **Caleb coaxes Susan to her feet. She moves only with the help of his arm across her back, pressing her forward.**

 **I didn't realize until that moment that Dauntless initiation had taught me an important lesson: how to keep going.**

"I think you learnt that lesson a long time before then," Eric says.

"That's the end of the chapter," Will says.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

FOUR'S POV

"Can I read?" Christina asks.

"Be my guest," Will says handing her the book.

"Sick of reading Will?" Eric asks.

"A bit," he replies. "I thought it would be more interesting, now that I'm dead and all."

"Hopefully someone will join you soon," Eric says.

"That is a horrible thing to say," Tris tells him.

"But it's true. We already know that most in this room will die. Every chapter gets us closer to that," Eric states.

Christina begins.

 **CHAPTER EIGHT**

 **We decide to follow the railroad tracks to the city, because none of us is good at navigation. I walk from tie to tie, Tobias balances on the rail, wobbling only occasionally, and Caleb and Susan shuffle behind us. I twitch at every unidentified noise, tensing until I realize it is just the wind, or the squeak of Tobias's shoes on the rail. I wish we could keep running, but it's a feat that my legs are even moving at this point.**

 **Then I hear a low groan from the rails.**

"Thank goodness the train is coming," Uriah says. "Imagine how boring the story would be if they walked all the way back."

 **I bend down and press my palms to the rail, closing my eyes to focus on the feeling of the metal beneath my hands. The vibration feels like a sigh going through my body. I stare between Susan's knees down the tracks and see no train light, but that doesn't mean anything. The train could be running with no horns and no lamps to announce its arrival.**

 **I see the gleam of a small train car, far away now but approaching fast.**

" **It's coming," I say. It is an effort to get to my feet when all I want to do is sit down, but I do, brushing my hands on my jeans. "I think we should get on."**

" **Even if it's run by the Erudite?" says Caleb.**

"I thought the factionless drove the trains," Marlene says.

"Who knows what is happening in the city now," I say.

" **If the Erudite were running the train, they would have taken it to the Amity compound to look for us," Tobias says. "I think it's worth the risk. We'll be able to hide in the city. Here we're just waiting for them to find us."**

 **We all get off the tracks. Caleb gives Susan step-by-step instructions for getting on a moving train, the way only a former Erudite can. I watch the first car approach; listen to the rhythmic bump of the car over the ties, the whisper of metal wheel against metal rail.**

 **As the first car passes me, I start to run. I ignore the burning in my legs. Caleb helps Susan into a middle car first, then jumps in himself. I take a quick breath and throw my body to the right, slamming into the floor of the car with my legs dangling over the edge. Caleb grabs my left arm and pulls me in the rest of the way. Tobias uses the handle to swing himself in after me.**

 **I look up, and stop breathing.**

 **Eyes glitter in the darkness. Dark shapes sit in the car, more numerous than we are.**

 **The factionless.**

I look at Tris and she looks at me. I think we are both thinking the same thing. I am really glad that I told her about Evelyn when we got here. I wouldn't want to have to deal with that conversation if I hadn't and we see her now.

"There's a page break," Christina says.

 **The wind whistles through the car. Everyone is on their feet and armed—except Susan and me, who have no weapons. A factionless man with an eye patch has a gun pointed at Tobias. I wonder how he got it.**

"Is that Edward?" Will asks.

"If you let me read Will," Christina scolds. "We will find out."

Will rolls his eyes as Christina continues to read.

 **Next to him, an older factionless woman holds a knife—the kind I used to cut bread with. Behind him, someone else holds a large plank of wood with a nail sticking out of it.**

" **I've never seen the Amity armed before," the factionless woman with the knife says.**

 **The factionless man with the gun looks familiar. He wears tattered clothes in different colors—a black T-shirt with a torn Abnegation jacket over it, blue jeans mended with red thread, brown boots. All faction clothing is represented in the group before me: black Candor pants paired with black Dauntless shirts, yellow dresses with blue sweatshirts over them. Most items are torn or smudged in some way, but some are not. Freshly stolen, I imagine.**

" **They aren't Amity," the man with the gun says. "They're Dauntless."**

 **Then I recognize him: he is Edward, a fellow initiate who left Dauntless after Peter attacked him with a butter knife. That is why he wears an eye patch.**

"I was right," Will says with a grin.

"Great, you have to run into the one ex-Dauntless who would probably love to kill all Dauntless," Lynn says.

 **I remember steadying his head as he lay screaming on the floor, and cleaning the blood he left behind.**

" **Hello, Edward," I say.**

 **He inclines his head to me, but doesn't lower his gun. "Tris."**

" **Whatever you are," the woman says, "you'll have to get off this train if you want to stay alive."**

" **Please," says Susan, her lip wobbling. Her eyes fill with tears. "We've been running ... and the rest of them are dead and I don't ..." She starts to sob again. "I don't think I can keep going, I ..."**

 **I get the strange urge to hit my head against the wall. Other people's sobs make me uncomfortable. It's selfish of me, maybe.**

"No," Lynn says. "I feel that way too."

"Me too," Christina agrees.

" **We're running from the Erudite," says Caleb. "If we get off, it will be easier for them to find us. So we would appreciate it if you let us ride into the city with you."**

" **Yeah?" Edward tilts his head. "What have you ever done for us?"**

" **I helped you when no one else would," I say. "Remember?"**

" **You, maybe. But the others?" says Edward. "Not so much."**

 **Tobias steps forward, so Edward's gun is almost against his throat.**

" **My name is Tobias Eaton," Tobias says. "I don't think you want to push me off this train."**

"What?" Zeke says. "Why would you be important to the factionless?"

"I'm not," I say.

"Probably helped them out when he had to do his volunteering hours for Abnegation," Will says.

 **The effect of the name on the people in the car is immediate and bewildering: they lower their weapons. They exchange meaningful looks.**

" **Eaton? Really?" Edward says, eyebrows raised. "I have to admit, I did not see that coming." He clears his throat. "Fine, you can come. But when we get to the city, you've got to come with us."**

 **Then he smiles a little. "We know someone who's been looking for you, Tobias Eaton."**

"Who is it?" Zeke asks. I just shake my head. Tris grabs hold of my hand. "What the fuck is going on Four?" Zeke demands.

"Just read Christina, you'll find out in a minute," I say.

"That was a page break," Christina says.

 **Tobias and I sit on the edge of the car with our legs dangling over the edge.**

" **Do you know who it is?"**

 **Tobias nods.**

" **Who, then?"**

" **It's hard to explain," he says. "I have a lot to tell you."**

 **I lean against him.**

" **Yeah," I say. "So do I."**

"That another page break," Christina says.

"In the book you didn't know who it was Tris," Zeke says. "But you do now, don't you?"

"Yes," Tris says.

"Have you been reading ahead?" Eric asks.

"What?" I ask.

"Have you been reading ahead?" Eric asks again.

"No, why would you ask that?" I ask.

"Then how does Tris know but she didn't in the book?" Zeke asks.

I don't understand why this is so important to them.

"I told her. When we first got here I told her. I didn't want her to find out like you are all going too," I say. "What is so important? Why are you both upset about this?"

"I don't know Four," Zeke sounds caustic. "I've known you for two years and you have all these secrets. Tris knows you a few weeks and she knows everything."

"Are you jealous?" Eric asks.

"No," Zeke defends. "I just don't understand why he has so many secrets."

"Well we've met his father," Lynn says. "I would want to keep that bastard a secret."

"You are sounding like a jealous bitch," Uriah comments.

"I'm not jealous," Zeke yells.

"Start reading," Max demands.

 **I don't know how much time passes before they tell us to get off. But when they do, we are in the part of the city where the factionless live, about a mile from where I grew up. I recognize each building we pass as one I walked by every time I missed the bus home from school. The one with the broken bricks. The one with a fallen streetlight leaning against it.**

 **We stand in the doorway of the train car, all four of us in a line. Susan whimpers.**

" **What if we get hurt?" she says.**

 **I grab her hand. "We'll jump together. You and me. I've done this a dozen times and never got hurt."**

"This must be Susan's worst nightmare," Lynn chuckles.

 **She nods and squeezes my fingers so hard they hurt.**

" **On three. One," I say, "Two.** _ **Three**_ **."**

 **I jump, and pull her with me. My feet slam into the ground and continue forward, but Susan just falls to the pavement and rolls onto her side. Aside from a scraped knee, though, she seems to be all right. The others jump off without difficulty—even Caleb, who has only jumped from a train once before, as far as I know.**

 **I'm not sure who could know Tobias among the factionless. It could be Drew or Molly, who failed Dauntless initiation —but they didn't even know Tobias's real name, and besides, Edward probably would have killed them by now, judging by how ready he was to shoot us. It must be someone from Abnegation, or from school.**

 **Susan seems to have calmed down. She walks on her own now, next to Caleb, and her cheeks are drying with no new tears to wet them.**

 **Tobias walks beside me, touching my shoulder lightly.**

" **It's been a while since I checked that shoulder," he says. "How is it?"**

" **Okay. I brought the pain medicine, luckily," I say. I'm glad to talk about something light—as light as a wound can be, anyway. "I don't think I'm letting it heal very well. I keep using my arm or landing on it."**

" **There will be plenty of time for healing once all this is over."**

" **Yeah."** _ **Or it won't matter if I heal**_ **, I add silently,** _ **because I'll be dead**_ **.**

" **Here," he says, taking a small knife from his back pocket and handing it to me. "Just in case."**

 **I put it in my own pocket. I feel even more nervous now.**

 **The factionless lead us down the street and left into a grimy alleyway that stinks of garbage. Rats scatter in front of us with squeaks of terror, and I see only their tails, slipping between mounds of waste, empty trash cans, soggy cardboard boxes. I breathe through my mouth so I don't throw up.**

"How can they live like that?" Marlene asks.

"I don't think we give them a choice," Tris says.

 **Edward stops next to one of the crumbling brick buildings and forces a steel door open. I wince, half expecting the entire building to fall down if he pulls too hard. The windows are so thick with grime that almost no light penetrates them. We follow Edward into a dank room. In the flickering glow of a lantern, I see ... people.**

 **People sitting next to rolls of bedding. People prying open cans of food. People sipping bottles of water. And children, weaving between the groups of adults, not confined to a particular color of clothing—factionless children.**

"Why would they want to breed?" Christina says.

"I don't think that they would mean to," I say.

"We should sterilise them," Eric says. "It's not fair on those kids."

"Maybe we should let the kids go to school, choose a faction, if they want," Tris says. "Give them a chance."

"That would just encourage more of them to breed," Eric says. "The kids should be put up for adoption. There are plenty of families that would take them in. People who can't have kids."

"Do you think that is fair to their parents?" Tris asks.

"They are factionless Tris," Eric states. "They don't get fair."

"What if they all ended up like Peter," Tris says.

"Why would you think of Peter?" Uriah asks.

"Eric or Max, I don't remember who. They said he was adopted," Tris explains.

"Not everyone who is adopted turns out like Peter," Eric says. "Actually, I would bet that there wouldn't be many people like him."

 **We are in a factionless storehouse, and the factionless, who are supposed to be scattered, isolated, and without community ... are together inside it. Are together, like a** _ **faction**_ **.**

 **I don't know what I expected of them, but I am surprised by how normal they seem. They don't fight one another or avoid one another. Some of them tell jokes, others speak to each other quietly. Gradually, though, they all seem to realize that we aren't supposed to be there.**

"There like their own community," Tori says surprise in her voice. "Why don't we see any of this?"

"I don't think they want you to see it," I say.

" **Come on," Edward says, bending his finger to beckon us toward him. "She's back here."**

 **Stares and silence greet us as we follow Edward deeper into the building that is supposed to be abandoned. Finally I can't contain my questions any longer.**

" **What's going on here? Why are you all together like this?"**

" **You thought they—we—were all split up," Edward says over his shoulder. "Well, they were, for a while. Too hungry to do much of anything except look for food. But then the Stiffs started giving them food, clothes, tools, everything. And they got stronger, and waited. They were like that when I found them, and they welcomed me."**

"Fucking Abnegation," Eric shouts.

 **We walk into a dark hallway. I feel at home, in the dark and the quiet that are like the tunnels in Dauntless headquarters. Tobias, however, winds a loose thread from his shirt around his finger, backward and forward, over and over. He knows who we're meeting, but I still have no idea. How is it I know this little about the boy who says he loves me—the boy whose real name is powerful enough to keep us alive in a train car full of enemies?**

 **Edward stops at a metal door and pounds on it with his fist.**

" **Wait, you said they were waiting?" says Caleb. "What were they waiting for, exactly?"**

" **For the world to fall apart," Edward says. "And now it has."**

"That doesn't sound good," Max says.

 **The door opens, and a severe-looking woman with a lazy eye stands in the doorway. Her steady eye scans the four of us.**

" **Strays?" she says.**

" **Not hardly, Therese." He jabs his thumb over his shoulder, at Tobias. "This one's Tobias Eaton."**

 **Therese stares at Tobias for a few seconds, then nods. "He certainly is. Hold on."**

 **She shuts the door again. Tobias swallows hard, his Adam's apple bobbing.**

" **You know who she's going to get, don't you," says Caleb to Tobias.**

" **Caleb," Tobias says. "Please shut up."**

 **To my surprise, my brother suppresses his Erudite curiosity.**

 **The door opens again, and Therese steps back to let us in. We walk into an old boiler room with machinery that emerges from the darkness so suddenly I hit it with my knees and elbows. Therese leads us through the maze of metal to the back of the room, where several bulbs dangle from the ceiling over a table.**

 **A middle-aged woman stands behind the table. She has curly black hair and olive skin. Her features are stern, so angular they almost make her unattractive, but not quite.**

 **Tobias clutches my hand. At that moment I realize that he and the woman have the same nose—hooked, a little too big on her face but the right size on his. They also have the same strong jaw, distinct chin, spare upper lip, stick-out ears. Only her eyes are different—instead of blue, they are so dark they look black.**

"Holy shit!" Eric exclaims.

"What?" Zeke asks.

"Wait for it," Eric says with a chuckle.

" **Evelyn," he says, his voice shaking a little.**

 **Evelyn was the name of Marcus's wife and Tobias's mother. My grip on Tobias's hand loosens. Just days ago I was remembering her funeral. Her funeral. And now she stands in front of me, her eyes colder than the eyes of any Abnegation woman I've ever seen.**

" **Hello." She walks around the table, surveying him. "You look older."**

" **Yes, well. The passage of time tends to do that to a person."**

 **He already knew she was alive. How long ago did he find out?**

 **She smiles. "So you've finally come—"**

" **Not for the reason you think," he interrupts her. "We were running from Erudite, and the only chance of escape we had required me to tell your poorly armed lackeys my name."**

"Your mother is factionless?" Shauna sounds shocked. "But you said she was dead."

"When I told you that, I thought she was," I tell her.

"And you didn't think to tell us after?" Zeke asks, I can hear the hurt in his voice.

"What did you expect me to say," I shout. "She fucking abandon me. How the hell do you want me to bring that into a conversation?"

"Tobias," Tris whispers while rubbing my back.

I can't stand them all looking at me like this. I hate that kicked puppy look. I get up and start to walk up the stairs. I can't deal with this. I get to our room and I slam the door as hard as I can. I should have gone to the training room, at least there I could have hit something.

I slump down onto the floor and just sit there. Feeling completely fucking sorry for myself.

* * *

I don't know how long I sit here before I hear the door open and Tris walk in. I haven't moved since I got back to our room and Tris is standing over me now. She slowly moves down and kneels in front of me.

"Hey," she whispers.

I feel ashamed at my behaviour and can't look her in the eyes. Slowly she reaches her hand out and lifts my chin so I am looking into her eyes.

"How are you feeling?" she asks. Speaking so softly and with such care. I feel the tears start to well in my eyes. It's not from the thought of what my selfish mother did, it's from the care and love that I hear in her voice.

"I shouldn't have lost it like that," I finally answer.

"You can react however you want. They didn't give you much choice."

"I hate myself for ever thinking I could go and live with that woman," I say. I need to tell Tris. I need to explain what my plan was before she arrived in Dauntless. I feel like such a coward for ever thinking that I could do it.

"What do you mean?"

"I couldn't stand the way Dauntless had become. I had decided to make changes once initiation was over. But things changed and I couldn't do it. Reading about this, it just made me realise how stupid I was."

"You're not stupid. A little stubborn maybe," Tris says with a smile. "What changed? What were you going to do?"

"I was going to leave Dauntless and join my mother being factionless."

Tris gasps.

"But I couldn't. Not after. When you jumped into Dauntless everything changed for me. I suddenly felt like I could belong."

"Tobias," it's just a whisper.

"No Tris. Let me finish. As soon as we started reading about the factionless I knew what was coming. I knew that everyone would know. I felt sick as we read and then Zeke started carrying on. I shouldn't have yelled at them like that. But it made me think what a coward I was. Then they all sat there staring at me like that. I just couldn't take it."

"You stayed for me?"

"Yeah," I whisper.

"I love you Tobias," Tris whispers into my ear. I needed to hear that. I needed to know that my decision to stay was the right one. I just need Tris.

I take a moment to look into her eyes and I can see that she is telling the truth, I've never had anyone look at me the way Tris is looking at me right now.

As I'm about to kiss Tris and I whisper onto her lips, "I love you, too."

We start kissing and it makes me all the more grateful that she jumped into my life when she did.

I feel Tris tugging on my shirt. I pull away breathless to see Tris trying to take my shirt off. I put my hands over hers and together we lose my shirt. We start kissing again as I move my hand up her back and unclasp her bra.

Tris quickly breaks the kiss and tears her shirt and bra off and we start kissing again. I can feel Tris rubbing her hands over my back as I'm doing the same to her when a loud bang is heard and I look up to see Eric has shut himself in the room with us.

"What the hell Eric?" I shout as I pull Tris chest to mine and wrap my arms around her so Eric can't see her topless.

"Keep your voice down," he whisper shouts at me. "Shit Tris! Put a bloody shirt on will you."

"What are you doing in here?" I ask as I try to retrieve Tris' shirt for her without Eric seeing anymore than he has too.

"We decided to have a water pistol fight after you threw your little tanty. No one is going to look for me in here."

"Tanty?" I ask.

"Your tantrum. Just because you are named Four doesn't mean you need to act like you're four. Can I turn around now? Has Tris got dressed?"

"Yes I'm dressed," Tris says, annoyance lacing her voice.

"Thank god for that," he says.

"Here," he says as he hands us both a water pistol. "You are both on my team."

"How did you know we would play?" Tris asks.

"Please," Eric scoffs.

I raise my eyebrow at him.

"Okay, I didn't. I didn't even know I was going to come in here. Then I thought it would be a great place to hide. I thought I would risk it because no one else would be brave enough to come in here."

"So why do you have two more guns?" Tris asks.

"I was going to use them myself. We are one person down on my team. I thought it was fair that I take the extra guns. Lynn has the other extra gun."

"Who else is on our team?" I ask.

"Uriah, Lynn and Marlene. Max isn't playing."

"How do you want to play this?" I ask.

"I think Tris should walk down the hall, make sure you hide the gun Tris. Then she can start talking to members of the other team and when they seem relaxed, you and I can sneak up and go full on assault on whoever is there."

"What if they shoot me?" Tris asks.

"They don't think you are part of the game so, just stand there and talk casually to them and then Four and I can get them."

"That's a pretty good plan," I say.

"Was that a compliment?" Eric asks with a laugh.

"No. You know I would never do that," I say with a grin.

"Okay, let's do this," Eric says.

"Wait," Tris says. "I just need to get dressed properly."

Tris picks her bra up and walks into the bathroom.

"Sorry man," Eric says shaking his head. "I didn't know you were in the middle of anything."

"We probably should have locked the door," I say.

"Maybe. But then you wouldn't get to play. I mean you wouldn't get to have a water pistol fight."

We are silent for a minute and then Eric asks, "You okay? You know with everything that went down while we were reading?"

I shrug. How do I answer that?

"Zeke was pretty upset when you left. Not at you, he just didn't realise . . . then once he thought about it he felt like shit for acting the way he did."

"Yeah, he's a good friend. The bonus is he forgives easily. I shouldn't have acted the way I did."

Eric laughs. "I don't know, it was very dramatic. Even for you. I wouldn't worry too much about it, I wouldn't be happy if I had been in your shoes."

"Ready?" Tris asks as she walk out of the bathroom

"Let's do this," Eric says. He explains to Tris what he wants her to do and we put the plan in motion.

* * *

We all sit down to start reading again. Everyone on Eric's team is in a good mood because we won the water pistol fight. Zeke though hasn't stopped complaining.

"There is no way you would have won if you hadn't got Four and Tris to help you," Zeke complains, again.

"Stop bitchin' Pedrad. You were happy to have an extra player on your team to begin with," Eric says. "You could have gone in and asked them to play."

"There was no way I was going into that room after what happened," Zeke replies.

"Pansycake," Uriah mutters.

Zeke dives at his brother and they start wrestling on the couch. Marlene is trying to move away but Zeke is lying half on top of her and half on his brother.

"Take that back," Zeke cries out as Uriah smacks him in the face with the palm of his hand. Zeke pushes his hand onto Uriah's cheek. You can see they are only playing with each other, if they really wanted to fight it would not be pretty.

"I'm not taking it back," Uriah moans as Zeke pushes his knee into Uriah's thigh. "Get off me."

"Not until you tell everyone I'm not a pansycake," Zeke says with gritted teeth.

Watching the two wrestle is amusing. This is when you wish Hana was here, she would break it up quickly.

Tris gets off the couch we are sitting on and goes over and pulls Zeke and Uriah each by an ear. You can hear both boys groaning because Tris isn't being gentle, the rest of the room are laughing.

"Stop it!" Tris demands and they stop wrestling.

"Shit Tris," Zeke calls out. "That hurt. You're worse than my mum."

"Sit back down so we can read," Tris tells Zeke pointing to where he was sitting with Shauna.

"Ah!" Tris points at Uriah who was about to kick Zeke as he was moving back towards his seat. Uriah stops the kick before it hits Zeke and is now looking very sheepish. This just has more laughs going around the room.

"Now I know who to call when Zeke won't do what he is told," Shauna laughs.

"You better not," Zeke says.

"We will see," Shauna replies.

"You can start now Christina," Tris says as she takes her seat, sitting in my lap.

It always amazes me that she knows exactly what I need and right now I need her as close to me as possible.

"Okay just to recap," Christina says. "They have just reached the factionless and Four's mum is the leader and Tris and Caleb are shocked because they thought she was dead. Does that sound about right to everyone?"

"You forgot that Zeke and Shauna were jealous that they didn't know about it and that Four chucked a tantrum because of it," Eric chimes in.

"Thanks Eric," I say. "I'm sure we didn't all need a recap of the last part."

 **She must have made him angry somehow. But I can't help but think that if I discovered my mother was alive after thinking she was dead for so long, I would never speak to her the way Tobias speaks to his mother now, no matter what she had done.**

I am trying not to get upset at what Tris is thinking in the story. She doesn't feel that way now. I know that from the conversations we have had. But it is still really hard to have her so close and not want to push her away. In the book she has just lost her parents, so she would feel the way she does because of that.

"You know I don't think that," Tris whispers in my ear.

"Yeah, it's just a little hard to hear it though," I whisper back.

"I'm sorry," she says.

I know she is and I know that although it is her in the book, at the same time it's not. I pull Tris a little tighter and whisper, "I know."

 **The truth of that thought makes me ache. I push it aside and focus instead on what's in front of me. On the table behind Evelyn is a large map with markers all over it. A map of the city, obviously, but I'm not sure what the markers mean. On the wall behind her is a chalkboard with a chart on it. I can't decipher the information in the chart; it's written in shorthand I don't know.**

" **I see." Evelyn's smile remains, but without its former touch of amusement. "Introduce me to your fellow refugees, then."**

 **Her eyes drift down to our joined hands. Tobias's fingers spring apart. He gestures to me first. "This is Tris Prior. Her brother, Caleb. And their friend Susan Black."**

" **Prior," she says. "I know of several Priors, but none of them are named Tris. Beatrice, however ..."**

" **Well," I say, "I know of several living Eatons, but none of them are named Evelyn."**

"Oh snap," Uriah chuckles. "One to Tris."

" **Evelyn Johnson is the name I prefer. Particularly among a pack of Abnegation."**

" **Tris is the name** _ **I**_ **prefer," I reply. "And we're not Abnegation. Not all of us, anyway."**

 **Evelyn gives Tobias a look. "Interesting friends you've made."**

"Bitch," Lynn mutters.

" **Those are population counts?" says Caleb from behind me. He walks forward, his mouth open. "And ... what? Factionless safe houses?" He points to the first line on the chart, which reads** _ **7... Grn Hse**_ **. "I mean, these places, on the map? They're safe houses, like this one, right?"**

" **That's a lot of questions," says Evelyn, arching an eyebrow. I recognize the expression. It belongs to Tobias—as does her distaste for questions. "For security purposes, I will not answer any of them. Anyway, it is time for dinner."**

 **She gestures toward the door. Susan and Caleb start toward it, followed by me, and Tobias and his mother are last. We work our way through the maze of machinery again.**

" **I'm not stupid," she says in a low voice. "I know you want nothing to do with me—though I still don't quite understand why—"**

 **Tobias snorts.**

"How stupid is she?" Eric says. "Or is it just arrogance? What faction was she from before Abnegation?"

I just shrug. I have no idea.

" **But," she says, "I will extend my invitation again. We could use your help here, and I know you are like-minded about the faction system—"**

" **Evelyn," Tobias says. "I chose Dauntless."**

" **Choices can be made again."**

" **What makes you think I'm interested in spending time anywhere** _ **near**_ **you?" he demands. I hear his footsteps stop, and slow down so I can hear how she responds.**

" **Because I'm your mother," she says, and her voice almost breaks over the words, uncharacteristically vulnerable. "Because you're my son."**

" **You really don't get it," he says. "You don't have the vaguest conception of what you've done to me." He sounds breathless. "I don't want to join up with your little band of factionless. I want to get out of here as quickly as possible."**

"You tell her Four," Tori shouts.

"Does she even have a conscious?" Uriah asks.

"How did you find out she was alive?" Max asks.

"After initiation. I had just moved into my apartment and someone broke in," I say.

"I remember that," Zeke tells us. "You wanted to see the footage from outside your place. But we got, um. Yeah we got distracted."

 _Don't say anymore Zeke, please don't let Max know I was listening in on a meeting he had with Jeanine._

"Yeah. She left a note, I thought it was from Marcus at first. I met with her once. That was enough for me. She isn't my mother. I don't know her and she sure as hell doesn't know me. I'm glad she's not dead but that's it," I sigh as I finish speaking. Tris is holding me close rubbing my back. I keep my arms wrapped around her, relishing in her warmth.

" **My little band of factionless is twice the size of Dauntless," says Evelyn. "You would do well to take it seriously. Its actions may determine the future of this city."**

 **With that, she walks ahead of him, and ahead of me. Her words echo in my mind:** _ **Twice the size of Dauntless**_ **. When did they become so large?**

"Are they really that large?" Tori asks.

"They could be," Max replies.

"Great," Tori replies. "You do realise that most are probably ex-Dauntless don't you?"

"Are you sure?" Eric asks, concern written all over his face.

"Think about it Eric," Tori snaps. "We kick our members out once they get too old. We kick initiates out who don't meet up to what you think a Dauntless should be. They are probably better prepared for war than Dauntless is. They have nothing else to do all day."

"Half our faction doesn't even use guns or knives in their employment within Dauntless. All they are required to do is keep fit. So, even if they are fit it doesn't mean they are battle ready. Unless you hand them a gun and mind control them," I say.

"We need to re-evaluate this," Max quietly says.

 **Tobias looks at me, eyebrows lowered.**

" **How long have you known?" I say.**

" **About a year." He slumps against the wall and closes his eyes. "She sent a coded message to me in Dauntless, telling me to meet her at the train yard. I did, because I was curious, and there she was. Alive. It wasn't a happy reunion, as you can probably guess."**

" **Why did she leave Abnegation?"**

" **She had an affair." He shakes his head. "And no wonder, since my father ..." He shakes his head again. "Well, let's just say Marcus wasn't any nicer to her than he was to me."**

" **Is ... that why you're angry with her? Because she was unfaithful to him?"**

" **No," he says too sternly, his eyes opening. "No, that's not why I'm angry."**

 **I walk toward him as if approaching a wild animal, each footstep careful on the cement floor. "Then why?"**

"Really Tris?" Shauna says. "I thought you were smarter than that."

"I don't know Shauna," I say. "I suppose it's easy to see things when you are sitting here reading it. I'm sure it would have been different being in that situation."

" **She had to leave my father, I get that," he says. "But did she think of taking me with her?"**

"Did you ever ask her?" Zeke asks.

"No. She was too busy trying to recruit me to join her and the factionless," I say with bitterness in my voice.

 **I purse my lips. "Oh. She left you with** _ **him**_ **."**

 **She left him alone with his worst nightmare. No wonder he hates her.**

" **Yeah." He kicks at the floor. "She did."**

 **My fingers find his, fumbling, and he guides them into the spaces between his own. I know that's enough questions, for now, so I let the silence linger between us until he decides to break it.**

" **It seems to me," he says, "that the factionless are better friends than enemies."**

" **Maybe. But what would the cost of that friendship be?" I say.**

 **He shakes his head. "I don't know. But we may not have any other option."**

"This is starting to suck," Lynn grumbles. "Do you think we will find out where we are soon?"

"It must be getting closer," Tris replies.

"Can we please eat," Uriah sounds like he is in pain. "I'm starving."

"Fine, I'll go and fix something," Eric says. "Come on Will."


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

FOUR'S POV

"You can read Will," Christina says as she hands Will the book.

"Never thought I would see that," Eric remarks.

"What do you mean?" Christina asks.

"You always have your mouth open and words coming out. I thought you would love to have an excuse to talk," Eric replies with a smirk on his face.

Christina looks upset but doesn't reply so Will starts reading.

 **CHAPTER NINE**

 **One of the factionless started a fire so we could heat up our food. Those who want to eat sit in a circle around the large metal bowl that contains the fire, first heating the cans, then passing out spoons and forks, then passing cans around so everyone can have a bite of everything. I try not to think about how many diseases could spread this way as I dip my spoon into a can of soup.**

"That is disgusting," Lynn grimaces.

"Just another fun part of being factionless," Tori says.

 **Edward drops to the ground next to me and takes the can of soup from my hands.**

" **So you were all Abnegation, huh?" He shovels several noodles and a piece of carrot into his mouth, and passes the can to the woman on his left.**

" **We were," I say. "But obviously Tobias and I transferred, and ..." Suddenly it occurs to me that I shouldn't tell anyone Caleb joined Erudite. "Caleb and Susan are still Abnegation."**

"Really he is factionless," Shauna says.

"Looks like we all could be, with what is happening," Tori says.

"I hope we find out where we are and if we are alive soon," Lynn grumbles.

"Don't worry Lynn," Zeke says holding up a T-shirt with an X on it. "I've got your shirt all ready if you're not."

"Great," Lynn mutters.

" **And he's your brother. Caleb," he says. "You ditched your family to become Dauntless?"**

" **You sound like the Candor," I say irritably. "Mind keeping your judgments to yourself?"**

 **Therese leans over. "He was Erudite first, actually. Not Candor."**

"I don't like this Therese character," Zeke comments.

" **Yeah, I know," I say, "I—"**

 **She interrupts me. "So was I. Had to leave, though."**

" **What happened?"**

" **I wasn't smart enough." She shrugs and takes a can of beans from Edward, plunging her spoon into it. "I didn't get a high enough score on my initiation intelligence test. So they said, 'Spend your entire life cleaning up the research labs, or leave.' And I left."**

"That is ridiculous," Marlene says. "I would much rather be a cleaner than have to live like the factionless. Just the way they eat is enough." Marlene shudders as she says this.

"I suppose cleaning isn't for everyone," Tori chips in.

"Lazy bastards," Eric snaps. "They would rather beg Abnegation for food than have a warm bed and food because they don't want to do a cleaning job. She must have known she wasn't as smart as her fellow Erudite."

"That's true," Tori confirms. "They are always making you do intelligence tests as you are growing up."

"Is that why you left?" Tris asks.

Tori laughs. "No," she replies with a shake of her head. "I was in the top ten percent for my age. Doesn't mean that I wanted to stay though."

"Me too," Will tells us. "There is only a small amount of Erudite dependants that are like this Therese person. They usually transfer out. But a lot of the smartest people transfer too. Eric was top of his year."

"You where?" Tris sounds surprised.

"Don't sound so shocked Tris," Eric chuckles.

"I didn't mean it like that. Why would you leave if you fit in so well," Tris replies.

"Just because I could test well doesn't mean that I fit in," Eric says.

"Or was it that you were planted in Dauntless by Jeanine?" I ask.

"You are on very thin ice _Four_ ," Eric replies.

"Or maybe I am saying the truth," I counter.

"You know nothing," Eric sounds irritated.

"Enough you two," Max calls out. "Keep reading Will."

 **She looks down and licks her spoon clean. I take the beans from her and pass them along to Tobias, who is staring at the fire.**

" **Are many of you from Erudite?" I say.**

 **Therese shakes her head. "Most are from Dauntless, actually." She jerks her head toward Edward, who scowls. "Then Erudite, then Candor, then a handful of Amity. No one fails Abnegation initiation, though, so we have very few of those, except for a bunch who survived the simulation attack and came to us for refuge."**

"But it isn't just people who fail initiation is it?" Tris asks.

"There are lots of reasons," Eric says. "I think there is a larger amount who fail initiation than the rest that are there."

"If so many people fail initiation," Tris starts. "Doesn't that mean that the system is flawed? Shouldn't we be trying to help them?"

"People like that Therese don't want help Tris," Eric replies. "If she did she wouldn't have become factionless in the first place. She had a job, food, shelter and she still chose to become factionless."

"I understand that," Tris says. "But wouldn't it be better to let them try again, in a different faction? We wouldn't have so many factionless then. Crime rates would go down. They would be contributing to society. Abnegation wouldn't have to use so many resources to help them."

"I think they are all good points," Tori says. "But how would we even get someone to consider such a plan."

"Well either of these two," Eric points to Tris and I. "Could talk to the person they call "Dad". Marcus and Andrew are both in a position where they could make changes.  
But from what I can see Marcus is making it as hard as possible for the factionless."

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Ever since your mother arrived in the factionless sector, Marcus has done everything he can to make their lives more uncomfortable," Max answers. "He wanted to stop the distribution of food and clothing to the factionless but the council over ruled him. I think that was a first, he has always been able to get what he wants. Then he had Dauntless stop their patrols of the factionless. Which has caused there to be more crime among them. He is always trying to limit them in some way and I now think it is because of Evelyn."

"He is one sick bastard," Zeke says shaking his head.

"You have no idea," Max replies.

I wonder what he means by that. I don't dare ask, not in front of so many, I've had enough dirty laundry spilled out to last me a lifetime. I will have to try and get Max alone to ask him about his comments.

" **I guess I shouldn't be surprised about Dauntless," I say.**

" **Well, yeah. You've got one of the worst initiations, and there's that whole old-age thing."**

" **Old-age thing?" I say. I glance at Tobias. He is listening now, and he looks almost normal again, his eyes thoughtful and dark in the firelight.**

" **Once the Dauntless reach a certain level of physical deterioration," he says, "they are asked to leave. In one way or another."**

" **What's the other way?" My heart pounds, like it already knows an answer I can't face without prompting.**

" **Let's just say," says Tobias, "that for some, death is preferable to factionlessness."**

"I still can't believe that is what happens," Christina sighs. "We need to change this rule."

"I agree," Tris says. "We can learn so much from our elders. I bet they have some stories to tell. Can't we find a way to help them?"

"If we survive this war then maybe you should take a leadership position Tris," Eric smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes.

"Maybe I will," Tris retorts.

" **Those people are idiots," says Edward. "I'd rather be factionless than Dauntless."**

" **How fortunate that you ended up where you did, then," says Tobias coldly.**

" **Fortunate?" Edward snorts. "Yeah. I'm so fortunate, with my one eye and all."**

" **I seem to recall hearing rumors that you provoked that attack," says Tobias.**

" **What are you talking about?" I say. "He was winning, that's all, and Peter was jealous, so he just ..."**

 **I see the smirk on Edward's face and stop talking. Maybe I don't know everything about what happened during initiation.**

" **There was an inciting incident," says Edward. "In which Peter did not come out the victor. But it certainly didn't warrant a butter knife to the eye."**

"But it wasn't Peter who did it," Eric says. "I think whoever saw the incident between the two would probably be the culprit. My money is on Molly, she had this weird obsession with Peter."

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"I don't know how to explain it. She was always watching him. Would do anything that he said. I caught the three of them in the dorms one afternoon and it was disturbing to say the least," Eric says shaking his head.

"What were they doing?" Zeke asks.

Eric just shakes his head. "I, I just. No just forget I said anything."

"Come on Eric," Uriah whines. "Just tell us."

"Later, I am not saying anything with ladies in the room," Eric replies.

I can't even imagine what he is talking about. Eric isn't often lost for words and he usually wouldn't care about who was present when he opens his mouth.

" **No arguments here," says Tobias. "If it makes you feel any better, he got shot in the arm from a foot away during the simulation attack."**

 **And it does seem to make Edward feel better, because his smirk carves a deeper line into his face.**

" **Who did that?" he says. "You?"**

 **Tobias shakes his head. "Tris did."**

" **Well done," Edward says.**

 **I nod, but I feel a little sick to be congratulated for that.**

 **Well, not** _ **that**_ **sick. It was Peter, after all.**

"That was such a great moment," Christina laughs.

"Yeah Tris, you shouldn't feel sick about it. He would have killed you, he'd already tried once before," Uriah says.

 **I stare at the flames wrapping around the fragments of wood that fuel them. They move and shift, like my thoughts. I remember the first time I realized I had never seen an elderly Dauntless. And when I realized my father was too old to climb the paths of the Pit. Now I understand more about that than I'd like to.**

" **Do you know much about how things are right now?" Tobias asks Edward. "Did all the Dauntless side with Erudite? Has Candor done anything?"**

"Finally," Lynn sighs.

"Shh," Uriah says.

"Don't shh me," Lynn snaps.

"Let Will read," Max snaps.

" **Dauntless is split in half," Edward says, talking around the food in his mouth. "Half at Erudite headquarters, half at Candor headquarters. What's left of Abnegation is with us. Nothing much has happened yet. Except for whatever happened to you, I guess."**

 **Tobias nods. I feel a little relieved to know that half of the Dauntless, at least, are not traitors.**

"I can't believe I am stuck in Candor," Lynn huffs.

"You don't know that," Zeke teases her. "You could be with the traitors."

"As if," Lynn scoffs.

 **I eat spoonful after spoonful until my stomach is full. Then Tobias gets us sleeping pallets and blankets, and I find an empty corner for us to lie down in. When he bends over to untie his shoes, I see the symbol of Amity on the small of his back, the branches curling over his spine. When he straightens, I step across the blankets and put my arms around him, brushing the tattoo with my fingers.**

 **Tobias closes his eyes. I trust the dwindling fire to disguise us as I run my hand up his back, touching each tattoo without seeing it. I imagine Erudite's staring eye, Candor's unbalanced scales, Abnegation's clasped hands, and the Dauntless flames. With my other hand I find the patch of fire tattooed over his rib cage. I feel his heavy breaths against my cheek.**

" **I wish we were alone," he says.**

" **I almost always wish that," I say.**

"I agree," I say.

"What you get alone time," Zeke says.

"Yeah, right," I scoff and Eric starts laughing.

"What is so funny?" Zeke asks.

"I walked in on them and Tris was topless," Eric says between laughs.

"Tris," Marlene sounds excited. "Did you try that thing?"

Tris has gone bright red as she shakes her head no to Marlene, this is way beyond one of her usual blushes. I can't help but chuckle at her embarrassment. I wonder what Marlene is talking about.

"Well, maybe you need to lock your door," Zeke advises.

"Yeah, like that ever helps," I say. "You just stand on the other side of the door screaming at us. We may as well be sleeping in the Pit for all the traffic that goes through our room."

Everyone is laughing at my comment. I just shake my head.

"That is a page break," Will says.

 **I drift off to sleep, carried by the sound of distant conversations. These days it's easier for me to fall asleep when there is noise around me. I can focus on the sound instead of whatever thoughts would crawl into my head in silence. Noise and activity are the refuges of the bereaved and the guilty.**

"Do you think we are feeling like Tris?" Marlene asks.

"Why would you wonder that?" Shauna asks.

"We killed people while we were under that sim. Do you think we would be feeling like Tris?" Marlene replies.

"Only if you killed your best friend," Christina snipes.

"You really need to get a grip Christina," I say. Sick to death of her comments about Tris shooting Will. "You should be grateful that she does feel the way she does. I wouldn't. I'm sure most people in this room wouldn't. It was a kill or be killed situation. She didn't have much choice."

"But-," Christina starts to say.

Eric cuts her off. "I agree with Four," he says. "We are soldiers and you need to start remembering that. I bet you have killed."

"But I didn't have a choice. You made sure of that," Christina scream.

"Neither did Tris," Lynn says. "It's sad he died but he did, there is nothing you can do about it now. Except that it hasn't happened yet, so you can still do something about it."

"Don't worry. I intend to do everything I can for it not to happen," Christina says. She isn't looking at Lynn though, she is looking at Max.

 **I wake when the fire is just a glow, and only a few of the factionless are still up. It takes me a few seconds to figure out why I woke up: I heard Evelyn's and Tobias's voices, a few feet away from me. I stay still and hope they don't discover that I'm awake.**

" **You'll have to tell me what's going on here if you expect me to consider helping you," he says. "Though I'm still not sure why you need me at all."**

 **I see Evelyn's shadow on the wall, flickering with the fire. She is lean and strong, just like Tobias. Her fingers twist into her hair as she speaks.**

" **What would you like to know, exactly?"**

" **Tell me about the chart. And the map."**

" **Your friend was correct in thinking that the map and the chart listed all of our safe houses," she says. "He was wrong about the population counts ... sort of. The numbers don't document all the factionless—only certain ones. And I'll bet you can guess which ones those are."**

" **I'm not in the mood for guessing."**

"Cranky Four has come out to play," Zeke teases.

 **She sighs. "The Divergent. We're documenting the Divergent."**

" **How do you know who they are?"**

" **Before the simulation attack, part of the Abnegation aid effort involved testing the factionless for a certain genetic anomaly," she says. "Sometimes that testing involved re-administering the aptitude test. Sometimes it was more complicated than that. But they explained to us that they suspected we might have the highest Divergent population of any group in the city."**

" **I don't understand. Why—"**

" **Why would the factionless have a high Divergent population?" It sounds like she's smirking. "Obviously those who can't confine themselves to a particular way of thinking would be most likely to leave a faction or fail its initiation, right?"**

" **That's not what I was going to ask," he says. "I want to know why** _ **you**_ **care how many Divergent there are."**

" **The Erudite are looking for manpower. They found it temporarily in Dauntless. Now they'll be looking for more, and we're the obvious place, unless they figure out that we've got more Divergent than any other group. Just in case they don't, I want to know how many people we've got who are resistant to simulations."**

" **Fair enough," he says, "but why were the Abnegation so concerned with finding the Divergent? It wasn't to help Jeanine, was it?"**

" **Of course not," she says. "But I'm afraid I don't know. The Abnegation were reluctant to provide information that only serves to relieve curiosity. They told us as much as they believed we should know."**

"That can't be true," Eric says. "Abnegation must be hiding something. Whatever Jeanine stole must have to do with the Divergent."

"Why do you say that?" I ask.

"Jeanine has an obsession with the Divergent. She wants them gone. I don't know why," he says.

" **Strange," he mumbles.**

" **Perhaps you should ask your father about it," she says. "He was the one who told me about you."**

" **About me," says Tobias. "What about me?"**

" **That he suspected you were Divergent," she says. "He was always watching you. Noting your behavior. He was very attentive to you. That's why ... that's why I thought you would be safe with him. Safer with him than with me."**

"She is just full of excuses," Lynn says.

 **Tobias says nothing.**

" **I see now that I must have been wrong."**

"You are only just figuring that out," Zeke screams at the book.

"Zeke we've discussed this," Shauna says.

"I don't care. Four is my friend," Zeke starts. "He doesn't deserve these shitty parents."

"Thanks Zeke," I say.

Zeke just nods his head to me. I hate thinking about all this shit. It just makes my head hurt.

 **He still says nothing.**

" **I wish—" she starts.**

" **Don't you dare try to apologize." His voice shakes. "This is not something you can bandage with a word or two and some hugging, or something."**

" **Okay," she says. "Okay. I won't."**

"You tell her," Zeke calls out. I can't help but smile. I was so worried he would stay angry at me for not telling him about Evelyn but here he is defending me. I lucked out the day I met Zeke.

" **For what purpose are the factionless uniting?" he says. "What do you intend to do?"**

" **We want to usurp Erudite," she says. "Once we get rid of them, there's not much stopping us from controlling the government ourselves."**

" **That's what you expect me to help you with. Overthrowing one corrupt government and instating some kind of factionless tyranny." He snorts. "Not a chance."**

" **We don't want to be tyrants," she says. "We want to establish a new society. One without factions."**

I hear gasps around the room. I shouldn't be surprised with their responses. We have all only ever known the faction system, I don't think I could fathom a world without factions. But then if it was set up right, maybe. I don't know. Maybe.

 **My mouth goes dry. No factions? A world in which no one knows who they are or where they fit? I can't even fathom it. I imagine only chaos and isolation.**

 **Tobias lets out a laugh. "Right. So how are you going to usurp Erudite?"**

" **Sometimes drastic change requires drastic measures." Evelyn's shadow lifts a shoulder. "I imagine it will involve a high level of destruction."**

"She is starting to sound like Jeanine," Eric comments.

God help us all if that is the case.

 **I shiver at the word "destruction." Somewhere in the darker parts of me, I crave destruction, as long as it is Erudite being destroyed. But the word carries new meaning for me, now that I have seen what it can look like: gray-clothed bodies slung across curbs and over sidewalks, Abnegation leaders shot on their front lawns, next to their mailboxes. I press my face into the pallet I'm sleeping on, so hard it hurts my forehead, just to force the memory out, out, out.**

" **As for why we need you," Evelyn says. "In order to do this, we will need Dauntless's help. They have the weapons and the combat experience. You could bridge the gap between us and them."**

" **Do you think I'm important to the Dauntless? Because I'm not. I'm just someone who isn't afraid of much."**

"I think you underestimate the respect you have in Dauntless," Max says.

"I don't deserve anyone's respect," I reply.

"I think you are looking at this the wrong way," Eric says. "You may have wanted to leave Dauntless _Tobias_. But you didn't. It is braver to stay than it would have been to run. As much as I hate to say it, it isn't just about your number of fears _Four_. You have excelled at everything you do in Dauntless. How many people do you think could take you in a fight? Or shoot with the accuracy that you do? Or your knife throwing skills."

"He is right," Max says.

I can't speak, I would like to say thank you but I can't. Not to the men who could in a few weeks be tearing our city apart with their misguided beliefs that Jeanine has instilled in them.

" **What I am suggesting," she says, "is that you** _ **become**_ **important." She stands, her shadow stretching from ceiling to floor. "I am sure you can find a way, if you want to. Think about it."**

 **She pulls back her curly hair and ties it in a knot. "The door is always open."**

"I'd be shutting that damn door on her face," Tori snaps. "No wonder her and Marcus didn't get along. They are both power hungry scum."

 **A few minutes later he lies next to me again. I don't want to admit that I was eavesdropping, but I want to tell him I don't trust Evelyn, or the factionless, or anyone who speaks so casually about demolishing an entire faction.**

 **Before I can muster the courage to speak, his breaths become even, and he falls asleep.**

"I bet he doesn't tell her about the conversation," Zeke says.

"I'll take that bet," Tori says.

"I will too," Will says.

"Anyone else?" Zeke asks. "Okay, if you think he will tell Tris put your hand up."

Shauna, Max, Marlene and Lynn put their hands up.

"That's interesting," Zeke says. "We will just have to wait and see what happens."

"That's the chapter finished," Will says.

"Let's call it a night," Max says.

We all start to get up and go to our rooms.

* * *

I walk out of the bathroom with just a towel around me and Tris is standing in the middle of the bedroom.

I walk over to her and wrap my arms around her from behind. "You look lost in thought," I say.

"Did you mean what you said this morning?"

"Can you be more specific?"

"About me kissing Lynn?"

"Is there any part of my answer that won't get me in trouble?"

Tris laughs as she turns around to face me.

"I'm not trying to get you in trouble," she says. "I just was wondering about it. Is that what guys want to see?"

"I would be lying if I said it didn't sound hot. But I don't know if I'd like to see your lips on anyone but mine."

"So, you would rather if I just kiss you?" she asks with a smirk.

 _Where is this going?_ I think to myself.

"I would," I say. "Although the picture of you kissing Lynn is kinda stuck in my head right now."

Tris starts by kissing my lips. "I think I need to get rid of that image," she says as she is still kissing me.

"Okay," I answer as Tris moves her kisses to my jaw, then slowly to my ear. She starts to slowly plant wet kisses down my neck. I can't help but moan.

"You like this?" she asks.

"Mhmmm."

"Good. Is the image starting to fade away?" She asks as she licks my right nipple.

"Starting too," I say.

Tris is still moving her lips further down my body. I am going to lose complete control if she keeps this up. Then I realise where she is heading.

"Tris," I say.

"Tris."

"Yeah," she says all breathy. I can feel myself getting hard.

"Tris if you are going where I think you are going. At least let me sit down first," I say.

Tris starts to push me backwards not once taking her lips from my body. Oh God this feels so good. I feel my legs hit the back of the bed and I basically fall onto it.

As I was falling Tris has somehow taken the towel from around my waist and I am sitting here completely naked.

"Are the images still there?" she asks as she takes me in her mouth.

I look down and can only shake my head no.

"Holy fuck," I moan. "Where in the hell did you learn to do that?"

"mlne."

"Marlene?" I ask.

Tris looks up at me and nods and all thoughts of Tris and Lynn kissing have left my mind. Probably forever.

"Uriah's one lucky son of a bitch," I say as I watch Tris.

"Oh fuck that feels so good," I cry out.


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN

FOUR'S POV

"Here we go again," Uriah says.

"Chin up Uriah," Tori says. "Maybe we will find out where we are today."

"I hope so," Lynn says. "This feels like it has been dragging out for days."

"What happened to your face?" Shauna asks Eric.

"What?" Eric asks.

"It looks like it has a bruise forming," Shauna replies.

Eric starts laughing. "You can thank your sister for that," he chuckles.

"You did that?" Shauna asks Lynn.

"I didn't mean too," Lynn defends.

"And you were worried about Lynn," Zeke laughs.

"You should put some ice on it," I tell Eric.

Eric gets up and goes to get some ice.

"I can't believe you were able to hit him like that," Shauna whisper shouts to Lynn. I think she is hoping that Eric doesn't hear.

"It was just a lucky shot Shauna," Lynn says. "Don't get so excited."

"You better hope he doesn't try to get you back," Shauna whispers.

No one responds, we are all looking at Shauna wide eyed.

"What?" Shauna asks. She spins her head around to see Eric standing there with a smirk on his face. "Oh."

"Why would I retaliate Shauna?" Eric asks. "We were sparring. We are going to get hit. You should just be proud of Lynn."

"Ready?" Will asks as he opens the book to chapter ten.

 **CHAPTER TEN**

 **I run my hand over the back of my neck to lift the hair that sticks there. My entire body aches, especially my legs, which burn with lactic acid even when I am not moving. And I don't smell very good. I need to shower.**

"I'm sure they would be used to that in factionless," Marlene says.

"Do they have showers in the factionless area?" Christina asks.

Nobody answers because we don't know. Will starts to read again.

 **I wander down the hall and into the bathroom. I am not the only person with bathing in mind—a group of women stand at the sinks, half of them naked, the other half completely unfazed by it. I find a free sink in the corner and stick my head under the faucet, letting cold water spill over my ears.**

Zeke goes to open his mouth and Eric points at Zeke and demands, "do not say anything."

"What?" Zeke chuckles. "I'm sure there are a few other people who would love to say something as well."

"Maybe," Eric says. "But I am sure you will come out with the most stupid comment."

" **Hello," Susan says. I turn my head to the side. Water courses down my cheek and into my nose. She is carrying two towels: one white, one gray, both frayed at the edges.**

" **Hi," I say.**

" **I have an idea," she says. She turns her back to me and holds up a towel, blocking my view of the rest of the bathroom. I sigh with relief. Privacy. Or as much of it as possible.**

"If they have all the Abnegation refugees there," Tori says. "They must be freaking out with those conditions."

"It wouldn't just be the Abnegation," Lynn says. "There is no way that I would want to be in that situation either."

"Me either," Marlene agrees with Lynn.

 **I strip quickly and grab the bar of soap next to the sink.**

" **How are you?" she says.**

" **I'm fine." I know she's only asking because faction rules dictate that she does. I wish she would just speak to me freely. "How are you, Susan?"**

"I bet she is just trying to take her mind of what is happening," Shauna says.

" **Better. Therese told me there is a large group of Abnegation refugees in one of the factionless safe houses," says Susan as I lather soap into my hair.**

" **Oh?" I say. I shove my head under the faucet again, this time massaging my scalp with my left hand to get the soap out. "Are you going to go?"**

" **Yes," says Susan. "Unless you need my help."**

"I feel really sorry for Susan," Lynn says. "She is just so Abnegation."

 _Who knew Lynn could have such empathy._

" **Thanks for the offer, but I think your faction needs you more," I say, turning off the faucet. I wish I didn't have to get dressed. It's too hot for denim pants. But I grab the other towel from the floor and dry myself in a hurry.**

 **I put on the red shirt I was wearing before. I don't want to put on something that dirty again, but I have no other choice.**

"Yuck, Tris," Christina says.

"I don't think I had much choice," Tris defends.

" **I suspect some of the factionless women have spare clothes," says Susan.**

" **You're probably right. Okay, your turn."**

 **I stand with the towel as Susan washes up. My arms start to ache after a while, but she ignored the pain for me, so I'll do the same for her. Water splashes on my ankles when she washes her hair.**

"She hadn't been shot in the shoulder," I say.

" **This is a situation I never thought we would be in together," I say after a while. "Bathing from the sink of an abandoned building, on the run from the Erudite."**

" **I thought we would live near each other," says Susan. "Go to social events together. Have our kids walk to the bus stop together."**

 **I bite my lip at that. It is my fault, of course, that that was never a possibility, because I chose another faction.**

"Do you just run around looking for things to feel guilty about?" Lynn asks with a smirk.

"Looks like it," Tris gives Lynn a small smile.

" **I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring it up," she says. "I just regret that I didn't pay more attention. If I had, maybe I would have known what you were going through. I acted selfishly."**

 **I laugh a little. "Susan, there's nothing wrong with the way you acted."**

"I bet she didn't realise that Caleb was leaving either," Christina says.

"What do you mean by that?" Tris asks.

"Abnegation teaches you to lose yourself but it also stops you from reading others emotions because of it. I just think that she wouldn't have realised what Caleb was doing. Especially when he was still flirting with her the night before the Choosing Ceremony."

" **I'm done," she says. "Can you hand me that towel?"**

 **I close my eyes and turn so she can grab the towel from my hands. When Therese walks into the bathroom, smoothing her hair into a braid, Susan asks her for spare clothes.**

 **By the time we leave the bathroom, I wear jeans and a black shirt that is so loose up top that it slips off my shoulders, and Susan wears baggy jeans and a white Candor shirt with a collar. She buttons it up to her throat. The Abnegation are modest to the point of discomfort.**

 **When I enter the large room again, some of the factionless are walking out with buckets of paint and paintbrushes. I watch them until the door closes behind them.**

" **They're going to write a message to the other safe houses," says Evelyn from behind me. "On one of the billboards. Codes formed out of personal information—so-and-so's favorite color, someone else's childhood pet."**

"I always wondered who did that," Zeke says.

"That's good information to have," Max says.

 **I am not sure why she would choose to tell me something about the factionless codes until I turn around. I see a familiar look in her eyes—it is the same as the one Jeanine wore when she told Tobias she had developed a serum that could control him: pride.**

" **Clever," I say. "Your idea?"**

" **It was, actually." She shrugs, but I am not fooled. She is anything but nonchalant. "I was Erudite before I was Abnegation."**

"She is just horrible," Marlene whines.

" **Oh," I say. "Guess you couldn't keep up with a life of academia, then?"**

There are a lot of chuckles around the room.

 **She doesn't take the bait. "Something like that, yes." She pauses. "I imagine your father left for the same reason."**

 **I almost turn away to end the conversation, but her words create a kind of pressure inside my mind, like she is squeezing my brain between her hands. I stare.**

" **You didn't know?" She frowns. "I'm sorry; I forgot that faction members rarely discuss their old factions."**

"I call bullshit," Eric says. "She knew exactly what to say."

I can't disagree with him. He is right, I can almost guarantee it.

" **What?" I say, my voice cracking.**

" **Your father was born in Erudite," she says. "His parents were friends with Jeanine Matthews's parents, before they died. Your father and Jeanine used to play together as children. I used to watch them pass books back and forth at school."**

"Jealousy," Christina coos.

 **I imagine my father, a grown man, sitting next to Jeanine, a grown woman, at a lunch table in my old cafeteria, a book between them. The idea is so ridiculous to me that I half snort, half laugh. It can't be true.**

 **Except.**

 **Except: He never talked about his family or his childhood.**

 **Except: He did not have the quiet demeanor of someone who grew up in Abnegation.**

 **Except: His hatred of Erudite was so vehement it must have been** _ **personal**_ **.**

" **I'm sorry, Beatrice," Evelyn says. "I didn't mean to reopen closing wounds."**

 **I frown. "Yes, you did."**

"Go Tris," Uriah calls out.

" **What do you mean—"**

" **Listen carefully," I say, lowering my voice. I check over her shoulder for Tobias, to make sure he isn't listening in. All I see is Caleb and Susan on the ground in the corner, passing a jar of peanut butter back and forth. No Tobias.**

" **I'm not stupid," I say. "I can see that you're trying to use him. And I'll tell him so, if he hasn't figured it out already."**

" **My dear girl," she says. "I am his family. I am permanent. You are only temporary."**

Gasps from all the girls in the room. Zeke, Uriah and Eric are all shouting at the book characters.

"I'm sorry," I quietly tell Tris.

"What for?"

"Evelyn," I answer. I can't say mother, she is not my mother and she is definitely not my family.

"It's not your fault Tobias," Tris tells me.

"She will never be my family. You are my family Tris. Whatever happens when we leave here, I promise that it will be you and me, _forever_."

"I love you," she whispers and then kisses me.

"Stop that," Zeke calls out and throws a pillow at our heads.

"Ouch," Tris cries out.

"Idiot," I say to Zeke and throw the pillow back at him.

" **Yeah," I say. "His mom abandoned him, and his dad beat him up. How could his loyalty** _ **not**_ **be with his blood, with a family like that?"**

"You go girl," Lynn yells. "She is a bitch. Not you Tris, Evelyn."

"I got what you meant Lynn," Tris replies.

 **I walk away, my hands shaking, and sit down next to Caleb on the floor. Susan is now across the room, helping one of the factionless clean up. He passes me the jar of peanut butter. I remember the rows of peanut plants in the Amity greenhouses. They grow peanuts because they are high in protein and fat, which is important for the factionless in particular. I scoop some of the peanut butter out with my fingers and eat it.**

 **Should I tell him what Evelyn just told me? I don't want to make him think that he has Erudite in his blood. I don't want to give him any reason to return to them.**

 **I decide to keep it to myself for now.**

" **I wanted to talk to you about something," says Caleb.**

 **I nod, still working the peanut butter off the roof of my mouth.**

" **Susan wants to go see the Abnegation," he says. "And so do I. I also want to make sure she's all right. But I don't want to leave you."**

" **It's okay," I say.**

" **Why don't you come with us?" he asks. "Abnegation would welcome you back; I'm sure of it."**

"NO!" Zeke, Uriah and I all scream out at once.

"Well I think that's been decided for you Tris," Shauna laughs.

"Looks like it," Tris says laughing too.

 **So am I—the Abnegation don't hold grudges. But I am teetering on the edge of grief's mouth, and if I returned to my parents' old faction, it would swallow me.**

 **I shake my head. "I have to go to Candor headquarters and find out what's going on," I say. "I'm going crazy, not knowing." I force a smile. "But you should go. Susan needs you. She seems better, but she still needs you."**

" **Okay." Caleb nods. "Well, I'll try to join you soon. Be careful, though."**

" **Aren't I always?"**

" **No, I think the word for how you usually are is 'reckless.'"**

"Ain't that the truth," I say.

 **Caleb squeezes my good shoulder lightly. I eat another fingertip's worth of peanut butter.**

"I hate peanut butter," Will says.

"Why?" Zeke asks.

"I don't know," Will replies. "I just don't like it."

 **Tobias emerges from the men's bathroom a few minutes later, his red Amity shirt replaced by a black T-shirt, and his short hair glistening with water. Our eyes meet across the room, and I know it's time to leave.**

"You need to tell him what Evelyn said," Shauna tells Tris.

Tris just shrugs.

"That's a page break," Will says.

"We should be there," Uriah says bouncing in his seat.

 **Candor headquarters is large enough to contain an entire world. Or so it seems to me.**

 **It is a wide cement building that overlooks what was once the river. The sign says MERC IS MART—it used to read "Merchandise Mart," but most people refer to it as the Merciless Mart, because the Candor are merciless, but honest. They seem to have embraced the nickname.**

"I always wondered how they got that name," Marlene ponders. "Thanks Tris."

 **I don't know what to expect, because I have never been inside. Tobias and I pause outside the doors and look at each other.**

" **Here we go," he says.**

 **I can't see anything beyond my reflection in the glass doors. I look tired and dirty. For the first time, it occurs to me that we don't have to do anything. We could hole up with the factionless and let the rest of them sort through this mess. We could be nobodies, safe, together.**

 **He still hasn't told me about the conversation he had with his mother last night, and I don't think he's going to. He seemed so determined to get to Candor headquarters that I wonder if he's planning something without me.**

"Ooh, little bit of self-doubt in the relationship is creeping in. Evelyn has done a number on Tris," Zeke remarks. I hold Tris tighter to me. She looks up and gives me a small smile.

 **I don't know why I walk through the doors. Maybe I decide that we've come this far, we might as well see what's going on. But I suspect it's more that I know what's true and what's not. I am Divergent, so I am not nobody, there's no such thing as "safe," and I have other things on my mind than playing house with Tobias. And so, apparently, does he.**

"But if you weren't in the middle of a war you would want too, wouldn't you?" Marlene asks.

"It's what they are doing here," Zeke replies for Tris.

 **The lobby is large and well-lit, with black marble floors that stretch back to an elevator bank. A ring of white marble tiles in the center of the room form the symbol of Candor: a set of unbalanced scales, meant to symbolize the weighing of truth against lies. The room is crawling with armed Dauntless.**

 **A Dauntless soldier with an arm in a sling approaches us, gun held ready, barrel fixed on Tobias.**

" **Identify yourselves," she says. She is young, but not young enough to know Tobias.**

"She should know him," Zeke says. "Everyone knows _Four_."

 **The others gather behind her. Some of them eye us with suspicion, the rest with curiosity, but far stranger than both is the light I see in some of their eyes. Recognition. They might know Tobias, but how could they possibly recognize me?**

"You just came _first_ in initiation and you were the _first jumper_ and you were a _Stiff_ ," Lynn scoffs. "Of course people know who you are."

" **Four," he says. He nods toward me. "And this is Tris. Both Dauntless."**

 **The Dauntless soldier's eyes widen, but she does not lower her gun.**

"See she knows," Lynn says.

" **Some help here?" she asks. Some of the Dauntless step forward, but they do it cautiously, like we're dangerous.**

" **Is there a problem?" Tobias says.**

" **Are you armed?"**

" **Of course I'm armed. I'm Dauntless, aren't I?"**

"Stupid bloody question," Eric scoffs.

" **Stand with your hands behind your head." She says it wildly, like she expects us to refuse. I glance at Tobias. Why is everyone acting like we're about to attack them?**

" **We walked through the front door," I say slowly. "You think we would have done that if we were here to hurt you?"**

"What the hell is going on?" Uriah asks.

Marlene elbows Uriah in the side. "Shh," she tells him.

 **Tobias doesn't look back at me. He just touches his fingertips to the back of his head. After a moment, I do the same. Dauntless soldiers crowd around us. One of them pats down Tobias's legs while the other takes the gun tucked under his waistband. Another one, a round-faced boy with pink cheeks, looks at me apologetically.**

" **I have a knife in my back pocket." I say. "Put your hands on me, and I will make you regret it."**

 **He mumbles some kind of apology. His fingers pinch the knife handle, careful not to touch me.**

"Ha, Tris can be pretty damn scary sometimes," Zeke laughs.

" **What's going on?" asks Tobias.**

 **The first soldier exchanges looks with some of the others.**

" **I'm sorry," she says. "But we were instructed to arrest you upon your arrival."**

"What?" I don't know who says it. There are a number of people who have.

"That's the end of the chapter," Will says.

"Well hurry up and start reading the next one," Uriah says. "I am dying to find out what is going on. And are we there?"


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE

FOUR'S POV

 **CHAPTER ELEVEN**

 **They surround us, but don't handcuff us, and walk us to the elevator bank. No matter how many times I ask why we are under arrest, no one says anything or even looks in my direction. Eventually I give up and stay silent, like Tobias.**

 **We go to the third level, where they take us to a small room with a white marble floor instead of a black one. There's no furniture except for a bench along the back wall. Every faction is supposed to have holding rooms for those who make trouble, but I've never been in one before.**

"It sounds a lot nicer than the Dauntless holding cell," Zeke says.

"How many times have you been in there?" Tris asks.

"I don't know," Zeke says. "Before initiation I was up to thirty-five times. I stopped counting after that."

"Thirty-five times? By the time you were sixteen," Tris says. "Is that some kind of record?"

"No Uriah beat me," Zeke sounds disappointed.

"Only by one," Uriah says with a smile.

"What type of things did you do to get put in there?" Christina asks.

"All different things. Stealing all the keys for the vehicles, spray painting parts of the faction. I think the best one was after I became a member," Zeke says.

Uriah and I start laughing.

"What's so funny?" Christina asks.

"Zeke got busted for shooting people in the Pit with his pellet gun," Uriah says.

"How did you do that?" Christina asks.

"We would sit up high in the Pit and shoot at people going about their business," Zeke starts to laugh. "It was the funniest thing."

"How did you get caught?" Tris askes.

"We were having a competition and I started to lose so I stood up and started running and shooting at the same time. There were so many pellets flying that people finally caught on and reported it to Max," Zeke says.

"So you lost to Uriah?" Will asks.

"No, I would never lose to him. Four's the highest scorer in that game," Zeke replies.

"Four!" Max shouts.

Uriah, Zeke and I are in hysterics laughing now.

"What?" Shauna, Christina and Tris all say at the same time.

"That was you?" Max asks me. "You are lucky you didn't end up factionless."

"What happened?" Tori asks.

"I remember that now," Eric starts laughing. "All day Max kept thinking he was being hit by something but he couldn't work out what it was. He kept jumping all over the place. It was the funniest thing to watch."

"It was not funny," Max growls.

"Why Max?" Tris asks.

"We had a points system," I explain. "But if you hit a leader and didn't get caught you got triple points for every shot. Zeke said that he thought I couldn't do it for eight hours without getting caught. I had to hit him at least once an hour unless he was in his office or home."

"How many times did you hit him?" Lynn asks.

"Twenty-three times," Max says between gritted teeth.

"Because Zeke got busted, everyone thought it was him," I say. "But then I hit him after Zeke was in the holding cell. They had to let him go because they couldn't prove it was him."

"If you hadn't hit me after we locked Zeke up," Max says. "He may have become factionless."

"Thanks Four," Zeke says with a big grin.

"No problem," I reply.

"I want in next time you play," Eric says.

"You can't do that," Max says dismayed.

"Yes I can. I'm a Dauntless Leader," Eric states.

Zeke runs over and high fives Eric.

"Just start reading again Will," Max sighs as he shakes his head.

 **The door closes behind us, and locks, and we're alone again.**

 **Tobias sits down on the bench, his brow furrowed. I pace back and forth in front of him. If he had any idea why we were in here, he would tell me, so I don't ask. I walk five steps forward and five steps back, five steps forward and five steps back, at the same rhythm, hoping it will help me figure something out.**

 **If Erudite didn't take over Candor—and Edward told us they didn't—why would the Candor arrest us? What could we have done to them?**

 **If Erudite** _ **didn't**_ **take over, the only real crime left is siding with them. Did I do anything that could have been interpreted as siding with Erudite? My teeth dig into my lower lip so hard I wince. Yes, I did. I shot Will. I shot a number of other Dauntless. They were under the simulation, but maybe Candor doesn't know that or doesn't think it's a good enough reason.**

" **Can you please calm down?" Tobias says. "You're making me nervous."**

" **This is me calming down."**

 **He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees, and stares between his sneakers. "The wound in your lip begs to differ."**

 **I sit next to him and hug my knees to my chest with one arm, my right arm hanging at my side. For a long time, he says nothing, and my arm wraps tighter and tighter around my legs. I feel like, the smaller I become, the safer I am.**

"Lucky you are only little then," Will says with a chuckle.

Tris sends him a dirty look and he quickly starts to read again.

" **Sometimes," he says, "I worry that you don't trust me."**

"Very perceptive there Four," Zeke says.

" **I trust you," I say. "Of course I trust you. Why would you think otherwise?"**

" **Just seems like there's something you're not telling me. I told** _ **you**_ **things ..." He shakes his head. "I would never have told anyone else. Something's been going on with you, though, and you haven't told me yet."**

"Tell him, tell him, tell him," Zeke chants.

Lynn gets up from her bean bag and walks over and punches Zeke in the arm. "Enough with the chanting," she says.

"That hurt Lynn," Zeke complains.

"Imagine how my jaw feels," Eric says with a chuckle.

" **There's been a lot going on. You know that," I say. "And anyway, what about you? I could say the same thing to you."**

"Yep, our favourite little ex-Abnegation couple are falling apart," Christina says.

"No we're not," Tris yells out.

 **He touches my cheek, his fingers pushing into my hair. Ignoring my question just like I ignored his.**

" **If it's just about your parents," he says softly, "tell me and I'll believe you."**

 **His eyes should be wild with apprehension, given where we are, but they are still and dark. They transport me to familiar places. Safe places, where confessing that I shot one of my best friends would be easy, where I would not be afraid of the way that Tobias will look at me when he finds out what I did.**

 **I cover his hand with mine. "That's all it is," I say weakly.**

"Why aren't you telling him?" Shauna begs.

"I don't know," Tris responds. "Guilt, maybe."

" **Okay," he says. He touches his mouth to mine. Guilt clutches at my stomach.**

 **The door opens. A few people file in—two Candor with guns; a dark-skinned, older Candor man; a Dauntless woman I don't recognize. And then: Jack Kang, representative of Candor.**

 **By most faction standards, he is a young leader—only thirty-nine years old. But by Dauntless standards, that's nothing. Eric became a Dauntless leader at seventeen. But that's probably one of the reasons the other factions don't take our opinions or decisions seriously.**

"I think it is more complicated than that Tris," Max says.

"Well, what is it?" Tris asks.

"They don't take us seriously because of our behaviour. They think we are reckless and don't take anything seriously," Max replies.

"So, they can trust us to protect them but they can't trust us to help lead them," Zeke says.

"That's about it," Max says.

"They're the idiots," Uriah says.

 **Jack is handsome, too, with short black hair and warm, slanted eyes, like Tori's, and high cheekbones. Despite his good looks, he isn't known for being charming, probably because he's Candor, and they see charm as deceptive. I do trust him to tell us what's going on without wasting time on pleasantries. That is something.**

" **They told me you seemed confused about why you were arrested," he says. His voice is deep, but strangely flat, like it could not create an echo even at the bottom of an empty cavern. "To me that means either you're falsely accused or good at pretending. The only—"**

" **What are we accused of?" I interrupt him.**

" _ **He**_ **is accused of crimes against humanity.** _ **You**_ **are accused of being his accomplice."**

" **Crimes against humanity?" Tobias finally sounds angry. He gives Jack a disgusted look. "What?"**

" **We saw video footage of the attack. You were running the attack simulation," says Jack.**

" **How could you have seen footage? We took the data," says Tobias.**

" **You took one copy of the data. All the footage of the Dauntless compound recorded during the attack was also sent to other computers throughout the city," says Jack. "All we saw was you running the simulation and her nearly getting punched to death before she gave up. Then you stopped, had a rather abrupt lovers' reconciliation, and stole the hard drive together. One possible reason is because the simulation was over and you didn't want us to get our hands on it."**

"Why would Jeanine let that information get out?" Tris asks. "Wouldn't she want to hide the fact that Erudite were involved?"

"It looks like she is trying to blame Dauntless," Eric says. "Or more importantly she is setting the two of you up."

"Bitch," Lynn mutters.

 **I almost laugh. My great act of heroism, the only important thing I have ever done, and they think I was working for the Erudite when I did it.**

" **The simulation didn't end," I say. "** _ **We stopped**_ **it, you—"**

 **Jack holds up his hand. "I am not interested in what you have to say right now. The truth will come out when you are both interrogated under the influence of truth serum."**

"Oh yeah," Zeke laughs. "This should be fun."

"Really?" I ask.

"Yeah. I can't wait to see your reactions to each others secrets. It should be highly entertaining," Zeke says. "Might even be better than Tris shooting Peter."

 **Christina told me about truth serum once. She said the most difficult part of Candor initiation was being given truth serum and answering personal questions in front of everyone in the faction. I don't need to search myself for my deepest, darkest secrets to know that truth serum is the last thing I want in my body.**

" **Truth serum?" I shake my head. "No. No way."**

" **There's something you have to hide?" Jack says, lifting both eyebrows.**

 **I want to tell him that anyone with an ounce of dignity wants to keep some things to herself, but I don't want to arouse his suspicions. So I shake my head.**

" **All right, then." He checks his watch. "It is now noon. The interrogation will be at seven. Don't bother preparing for it. You can't withhold information while under the influence of truth serum."**

 **He turns on his heel and walks out of the room.**

" **What a pleasant man," says Tobias.**

"I'm taking bets on how long after the truth serum interrogation happens that Tris and Four break up," Zeke says.

"Ten minutes," Lynn says.

"Hey," I shout.

"Come on Four," Lynn whines. "You are both stubborn and you already have trust issues. I don't know how you have lasted this long."

"I give it an hour," Shauna says.

"I agree with Lynn," Christina says.

"You agree or you are just hoping?" I ask her.

"Hoping," Christina replies.

"I reckon they will stay together," Eric says.

"I agree with Eric," Uriah says.

"Me too," Tori says.

"I think it will be later on," Max says. "A few days at least."

"Will?" Zeke asks.

"Half an hour," he replies.

"Okay I think two hours, maybe three," Zeke says. "Marlene?"

"I abstain," she says. "I don't want to wish them anything bad."

"Thanks Marlene," Tris says with a smile. "Also Eric, Tori and Uriah."

"Read on Will," I say.

"Okay, well there is a page break," he says, then starts to read the story again.

 **A group of armed Dauntless escort me to the bathroom in the early afternoon. I take my time, letting my hands turn red in the hot- faucet water and staring at my reflection. When I was in Abnegation and wasn't allowed to look into mirrors, I used to think that a lot could change in a person's appearance in three months. But it only took a few days to change me this time.**

"Hot water must feel great after Amity and the factionless," Marlene sighs.

 **I look older. Maybe it's the short hair or maybe it's just that I wear all that has happened like a mask. Either way, I always thought I would be happy when I stopped looking like a child. But all I feel is a lump in my throat. I am no longer the daughter my parents knew. They will never know me as I am now.**

 **I turn away from the mirror and shove the door to the hallway open with the heels of my hands.**

 **When the Dauntless drop me off at the holding room, I linger by the door. Tobias looks like he did when I first met him —black T-shirt, short hair, stern expression. The sight of him used to fill me with nervous excitement. I remember when I grabbed his hand outside the training room, just for a few seconds, and when we sat together on the rocks next to the chasm, and I feel a pang of longing for how things used to be.**

"Tick, tick, tick," Zeke says.

"What is that for?" Uriah asks.

"It's the clock ticking down the seconds until they implode," Zeke says.

" **Hungry?" he says. He offers me a sandwich from the plate next to him.**

 **I take it and sit down, leaning my head on his shoulder. All that's left for us to do is wait, so that's what we do. We eat until the food is gone. We sit until we get uncomfortable. Then we lie down next to each other on the floor, shoulders touching, staring at the same patch of white ceiling.**

"Can I change my answer?" Shauna asks.

"No," Zeke states.

" **What are you afraid of saying?" he says.**

" **Any of it. All of it. I don't want to relive anything."**

 **He nods. I close my eyes and pretend to sleep. There's no clock in the room, so I can't count down the minutes until the interrogation. Time might as well not exist in this place, except I feel it pressing against me as seven o'clock inevitably draws closer, pushing me into the floor tiles.**

"Pity Zeke isn't there to help you count down," Lynn says sarcastically.

 **Maybe time would not feel as heavy if I didn't have this guilt—the guilt of knowing the truth and stuffing it down where no one can see it, not even Tobias. Maybe I should not be so afraid of saying anything, because honesty will make me feel lighter.**

"I think Four can see it just fine," Eric comments.

 **I must fall asleep eventually, because I jerk awake at the sound of the door opening. A few Dauntless walk in as we get to our feet, and one of them says my name. Christina shoves her way past the others and throws her arms around me. Her fingers dig into the wound in my shoulder, and I cry out.**

" **Got shot," I say. "Shoulder. Ow."**

" **Oh God!" She releases me. "Sorry, Tris."**

 **She doesn't look like the Christina I remember. Her hair is shorter, like a boy's, and her skin is grayish instead of a warm brown. She smiles at me, but the smile doesn't travel to her eyes, which still look tired. I try to smile back, but I'm too nervous. Christina will be there at my interrogation. She will hear what I did to Will. She will never forgive me.**

"That's for sure," Lynn says.

 **Unless I fight the serum, swallow the truth—if I can.**

"Can a Divergent do that?" Christina asks.

"Don't know," Eric replies. "I doubt it."

 **But is that really what I want? To let it fester inside me forever?**

" **You okay? I heard you were here so I asked to escort you," she says as we leave the holding room. "I know you didn't do it. You're not a traitor."**

" **I'm fine," I say. "And thank you. How are you?"**

" **Oh, I'm ..." Her voice trails off, and she bites her lip. "Did anyone tell you ... I mean, maybe now isn't the time, but ..."**

" **What? What is it?"**

" **Um ... Will died in the attack," she says.**

 **She gives me a worried look, and an expectant one. Expecting what?**

 _ **Oh**_ **. I am not supposed to know that Will is dead. I could pretend to be emotional, but I probably wouldn't do it convincingly. It's best to admit that I already knew. But I don't know how to explain that without telling her everything.**

"Tris you make me laugh sometimes," Tori says.

 **I feel suddenly sick. Am I really evaluating how best to deceive my friend?**

"You sure are," Eric says with a grin on his face. He is looking way creepy right now.

" **I know," I say. "I saw him on the monitors when I was in the control room. I'm sorry, Christina."**

" **Oh." She nods. "Well, I'm ... glad you already knew. I really didn't want to break the news to you in a hallway." A short laugh. A flash of a smile. Neither of them like they used to be.**

"I can't believe you lied to me like that," Christina wails.

I hear Lynn and Uriah both groan.

"Not again," Lynn complains.

What? I can be upset if I want," Christina yells at Lynn.

 **We file into an elevator. I can feel Tobias staring at me—he knows I didn't see Will in the monitors, and he didn't know that Will was dead. I stare straight ahead and pretend his eyes aren't setting me on fire.**

"Tick, tick, tick," Zeke laughs as he says it this time.

" **Don't worry about the truth serum," she says. "It's easy. You barely know what's happening when you're under. It's only when you resurface that you even know what you said. I went under when I was a kid. It's pretty commonplace in Candor."**

"The fun games that Candor play," Eric says, sarcasm lacing his voice.

 **The other Dauntless in the elevator give each other looks. In normal circumstances, someone would probably reprimand her for discussing her old faction, but these are not normal circumstances. At no other time in Christina's life will she escort her best friend, now a suspected traitor, to a public interrogation.**

" **Is everyone else all right?" I say. "Uriah, Lynn, Marlene?"**

"Oh my god we are going to find out," Marlene shouts jumping up from her seat.

"Sit down," Uriah says impatiently. "I want the answer."

"Oh yeah, sorry," Marlene says with a giggle and then sits back down.

" **All here," she says. "Except Uriah's brother, Zeke, who is with the other Dauntless."**

" **What?" Zeke, who secured my straps on the zip line, a traitor?**

 **The elevator stops on the top floor, and the others file out.**

" **I know," she says. "No one saw it coming."**

"What the fuck?" Zeke yells at the top of his lungs. "There is no way I would do that. No way at all."

"Whatever you say Zeke," Lynn chuckles.

"Shauna," Zeke begs. I look over to see Shauna moving away from Zeke on their couch.

"I believe you bro," Uriah says running and jumping on his brother. "I bet you are on some spy mission or something."

"Thanks," Zeke says. Keeping an arm around Uriah's shoulder. Shauna quickly gets up and sits with Marlene. Uriah and Zeke both look at each other. Uriah doesn't move from his spot next to Zeke. The brothers have always been close and you can see that Uriah is giving Zeke his support after the reaction Shauna has had.

 **She takes my arm and tugs me toward the doors. We walk down a black-marble hallway—it must be easy to get lost in Candor headquarters, since everything looks the same. We walk down another hallway and through a set of double doors.**

 **From the outside, the Merciless Mart is a squat block with a narrow raised portion in its center. From the inside, that raised portion is a hollow three-story room with empty spaces in the walls instead of windows. I see the darkening sky above me, starless.**

 **Here the marble floors are white, with a black Candor symbol in the center of the room, and the walls are lit with rows of dim yellow lights, so the whole room glows. Every voice echoes.**

 **Most of Candor and the remnants of Dauntless are already gathered. Some of them sit on the tiered benches that wrap around the edge of the room, but there isn't enough space for everyone, so the rest are crowded around the Candor symbol. In the center of the symbol, between the unbalanced scales, are two empty chairs.**

 **Tobias reaches for my hand. I lace my fingers in his.**

I take Tris' hand and lace my fingers with hers. She looks up and gives me a small smile. We know we need to stay strong. That everyone will be looking at how we react to whatever we say in the book or more importantly how we react in the book.

We've talked a lot about this, we know that we need to try and stay calm when we hear things we don't like about each other. Whoever put us here wants us to stay strong, we know a war is coming and we need to be brave. Although, it's not always easy.

 **Our Dauntless guards lead us to the center of the room, where we are greeted with, at best, murmurs, and at worst, jeers. I spot Jack Kang in the front row of the tiered benches.**

 **An old, dark-skinned man steps forward, a black box in his hands.**

" **My name is Niles," he says. "I will be your questioner. You—" He points at Tobias. "You will be going first. So if you will please step forward ..."**

 **Tobias squeezes my hand, and then releases it, and I stand with Christina at the edge of the Candor symbol. The air in the room is warm—moist, summer air, sunset air—but I feel cold.**

 **Niles opens the black box. It contains two needles, one for Tobias and one for me. He also takes an antiseptic wipe from his pocket and offers it to Tobias. We didn't bother with that kind of thing in Dauntless.**

" **The injection site is in your neck," Niles says.**

 **All I hear, as Tobias applies antiseptic to his skin, is the wind. Niles steps forward and plunges the needle into Tobias's neck, squeezing the cloudy, bluish liquid into his veins. The last time I saw someone inject Tobias with something, it was Jeanine, putting him under a new simulation, one that was effective even on the Divergent—or so she believed. I thought, then, that he was lost to me forever.**

 **I shudder.**

"Oohh what is going to come out of your mouths," Eric chuckles evilly.

I feel Tris squeeze my hand. I don't know how we know, but I think we can both sense we are not going to like what we say under the truth serum and although we know each others secrets, it will be hard to listen to whatever is said.

"End of chapter," Will says.

* * *

 _AN: Big thanks to Lunaschild2016 for the inspiration behind this chapter. I love our chats, you make me laugh (a lot), you make me cry (but it's not all sad). Thank you for being the wonderful person you are._

 _To everyone who is following, favourited and reviewed thank you for your support. I would normally have reached out to my reviewers by now and thanked you personally but I have had a sinus infection and felt like crap. Lucky to be getting chapters to you to be honest. So please know I love and appreciate every review that you all put out there for me. I still get blown away with the support you show me._


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

FOUR'S POV

"Let's read a bit more before we have dinner," Max suggests.

 **CHAPTER TWELVE**

" **I will ask you a series of simple questions so that you can grow accustomed to the serum as it takes full effect," says Niles. "Now. What is your name?"**

 **Tobias sits with slouched shoulders and a lowered head, like his body is too heavy for him. He scowls and squirms in the chair, and through gritted teeth says, "Four."**

 **Maybe it isn't possible to lie under the truth serum, but to select which version of the truth to tell: Four is his name, but it is not his name.**

"That would be really hard to do," Christina murmurs.

" **That is a nickname," Niles says. "What is your real name?"**

" **Tobias," he says.**

 **Christina elbows me. "Did you know that?"**

 **I nod.**

" **What are the names of your parents, Tobias?"**

 **Tobias opens his mouth to answer, and then clenches his jaw as if to stop the words from spilling out.**

" **Why is this relevant?" Tobias asks.**

 **The Candor around me mutter to each other, some of them scowling. I raise my eyebrow at Christina.**

" **It's extremely difficult not to immediately answer questions while under the truth serum," she says. "It means he has a seriously strong will. And something to hide."**

"Stubborn ass," Eric chuckles.

"Like you wouldn't be any different," I snap back at him.

" **Maybe it wasn't relevant before, Tobias," Niles says, "but it is now that you've resisted answering the question. The names of your parents, please."**

 **Tobias closes his eyes. "Evelyn and Marcus Eaton."**

 **Surnames are just an additional means of identification, useful only to prevent confusion in official records. When we marry, one spouse has to take the other's surname, or both have to take a new one. Still, while we may carry our names from family to faction, we rarely mention them.**

"I bet you will be changing your surname to Prior then?" Zeke teases me.

"We could just make up a new one," Tris replies, looking directly at me. I can't help but to give her a big smile. We might not be ready for anything like that. But we both know where we came from and just how much each touch really means. Where it is leading to.

 **But everyone recognizes Marcus's surname. I can tell by the clamor that rises in the room after Tobias speaks. The Candor all know Marcus is the most influential government official, and some of them must have read the article Jeanine released about his cruelty toward his son. It was one of the only things she said that was true. And now everyone knows that Tobias is that son.**

 **Tobias Eaton is a powerful name.**

"Bullshit," Eric coughs out.

 **Niles waits for silence, then continues. "So you are a faction transfer, are you not?"**

" **Yes."**

" **You transferred from Abnegation to Dauntless?"**

" _ **Yes**_ **," snaps Tobias. "Isn't that obvious?"**

"Why do they ask such stupid questions?" Zeke asks.

"They always do," Christina sighs.

I have to wonder what questions Christina had to endure when she went under the truth serum while she was still in Candor and what she is hiding now that made her not want to stay in Candor.

 **I bite my lip. He should calm down; he is giving away too much. The more reluctant he is to answer a question, the more determined Niles will be to hear the answer.**

" **One of the purposes of this interrogation is to determine your loyalties," says Niles, "so I must ask: Why did you transfer?"**

I feel Tris gently squeeze my hand.

"This was hard enough to hear the first time," Zeke groans.

 **Tobias glares at Niles, and keeps his mouth shut. Seconds pass in complete silence. The longer he tries to resist the serum, the harder it seems to be for him: color fills his cheeks, and he breathes faster, heavier. My chest aches for him. The details of his childhood should stay inside him, if that's where he wants them to be. Candor is cruel for forcing them from him, for taking away his freedom.**

" **This is horrible," I say hotly to Christina. "Wrong."**

" **What?" she says. "It's a simple question."**

 **I shake my head. "You don't understand."**

 **Christina smiles a little at me. "You really care about him."**

 **I am too busy watching Tobias to respond.**

 **Niles says, "I'll ask again. It is important that we understand the extent of your loyalty to your chosen faction. So why did you transfer to Dauntless, Tobias?"**

" **To protect myself," says Tobias. "I transferred to protect myself."**

" **Protect yourself from what?"**

" **From my father."**

 **All the conversations in the room stop, and the silence they leave in their wake is worse than the muttering was. I expect Niles to keep probing, but he doesn't.**

" **Thank you for your honesty," Niles says. The Candor repeat the phrase under their breath. All around me are the words "Thank you for your honesty" at different volumes and pitches, and my anger begins to dissolve. The whispered words seem to welcome Tobias, to embrace and then discard his darkest secret.**

 **It's not cruelty, maybe, but a desire to understand, that motivates them. That doesn't make me any less afraid of going under truth serum.**

" **Is your allegiance with your current faction, Tobias?" Niles says.**

" **My allegiance lies with anyone who does not support the attack on Abnegation," he says.**

"That doesn't really tell anyone where your loyalties lie," Eric states.

"What about your loyalties Eric? Where do they lie?" I respond.

" **Speaking of which," Niles says, "I think we should focus on what happened that day. What do you remember about being under the simulation?"**

" **I was not under the simulation, at first," says Tobias. "It didn't work."**

 **Niles laughs a little. "What do you mean, it didn't work?"**

" **One of the defining characteristics of the Divergent is that their minds are resistant to simulations," says Tobias. "And I am Divergent. So no, it didn't work."**

 **More mutters. Christina nudges me with her elbow.**

" **Are you too?" she says, close to my ear so she can stay quiet. "Is that why you were awake?"**

 **I look at her. I have spent the past few months afraid of the word "Divergent," terrified that anyone would discover what I am. But I won't be able to hide it anymore. I nod.**

 **It's like her eyes swell to fill their sockets; that's how big they get. I have trouble identifying her expression. Is it shock? Fear?**

 **Awe?**

" **Do you know what it means?" I say.**

" **I heard about it when I was young," she says in a reverent whisper.**

 **Definitely awe.**

" **Like it was a fantasy story," she says. "'There are people with special powers among us!' Like that."**

"Special powers," Uriah laughs. "If only."

" **Well, it's not a fantasy, and it's not that big a deal," I say. "It's like the fear landscape simulation—you were aware while you were in it, and you could manipulate it. Except for me, it's like that in every simulation."**

" **But Tris," she says, setting her hand on my elbow. "That's** _ **impossible**_ **."**

"Seems like Christina is having a hard time with this," Zeke chuckles.

 **In the center of the room, Niles has his hands up and is trying to silence the crowd, but there are too many whispers—some hostile, some terrified, and some awed, like Christina's. Finally Niles stands and yells, "If you don't quiet down, you will be asked to leave!"**

 **At last everyone quiets down. Niles sits.**

" **Now," he says. "When you say 'resistant to simulations,' what do you mean?"**

" **Usually, it means we're aware during simulations," says Tobias. He seems to have an easier time with the truth serum when he answers factual questions instead of emotional ones. He doesn't sound like he's under the truth serum at all now, though his slumped posture and wandering eyes indicate otherwise. "But the attack simulation was different, using a different kind of simulation serum, one with long-range transmitters. Evidently the long-range transmitters didn't work on the Divergent at all, because I awoke in my own mind that morning."**

" **You say you weren't under the simulation at first. Can you explain what you mean by that?"**

" **I mean that I was discovered and brought to Jeanine, and she injected a version of the simulation serum that specifically targeted the Divergent. I was aware during that simulation, but it didn't do much good."**

" **The video footage from the Dauntless headquarters shows you running the simulation," Niles says darkly. "How, exactly, do you explain that?"**

" **When a simulation is running, your eyes still see and process the actual world, but your brain no longer comprehends them. On some level, though, your brain still knows what you're seeing and where you are. The nature of this new simulation was that it recorded my emotional responses to outside stimuli," Tobias says, closing his eyes for a few seconds, "and responded by altering the appearance of that stimuli. The simulation made my enemies into friends, my friends into enemies. I thought I was shutting the simulation down. Really I was receiving instructions about how to keep it running."**

 **Christina nods along to his words. I feel calmer when I see that most of the crowd is doing the same thing. This is the benefit of the truth serum, I realize. Tobias's testimony is irrefutable this way.**

"So that means we will remember every person we killed or harmed in the attack?" Tori spits out. "You should be ashamed of yourselves."

Max sits here stock still, he won't look at Tori and he isn't going to respond. You can see that by his posture.

" **We have seen footage of what ultimately happened to you in the control room," says Niles, "but it is confusing. Please describe it to us."**

"How can it be confusing?" Zeke asks. "He was under simulation, they fought, they made up, they stopped it and then they got the hell out of there. What more do they need to know?"

"Calm down bro," Uriah says patting Zeke on the shoulder.

" **Someone entered the room, and I thought it was a Dauntless soldier, trying to stop me from destroying the simulation. I was fighting her, and ..." Tobias scowls, struggling. "... and then she stopped, and I got confused. Even if I had been awake, I would have been confused. Why would she surrender? Why didn't she just kill me?"**

 **His eyes search the crowd until they find my face. My heartbeat lives in my throat; lives in my cheeks.**

" **I still don't understand," he says softly, "how she knew that it would work."**

 **Lives in my fingertips.**

" **I think my conflicted emotions confused the simulation," he says. "And then I heard her voice. Somehow, that enabled me to fight the simulation."**

 **My eyes burn. I have tried not to think of that moment, when I thought he was lost to me and that I would soon be dead, when all I wanted was to feel his heartbeat. I try not to think of it now; I blink the tears from my eyes.**

" **I recognized her, finally," he says. "We went back into the control room and stopped the simulation."**

" **What is the name of this person?"**

" **Tris," he says. "Beatrice Prior, I mean."**

" **Did you know her before this happened?"**

" **Yes."**

" **How did you know her?"**

" **I was her instructor," he says. "Now we're together."**

" **I have a final question," Niles says. "Among the Candor, before a person is accepted into our community, they have to completely expose themselves. Given the dire circumstances we are in, we require the same of you. So, Tobias Eaton: what are your deepest regrets?"**

"Did they ever ask you that question Christina?" Tris asks.

"No, that question is left until you go through initiation."

 **I look him over, from his beat-up sneakers to his long fingers to his straight eyebrows.**

" **I regret ..." Tobias tilts his head, and sighs. "I regret my choice."**

" **What choice?"**

" **Dauntless," he says. "I was born for Abnegation. I was planning on leaving Dauntless, and becoming factionless. But then I met her, and ... I felt like maybe I could make something more of my decision."**

"You fucking coward," Eric screams standing up.

"What would you know?" I spit back standing up.

We are standing chest to chest. "You should have sucked it up, not let a little girl make the decisions for you," Eric voices.

"Why would I want to stay in Dauntless? You have fucked it up completely Eric," I yell at him.

"Bullshit," Eric yells back and pushes me.

I push back. We have both taken to our fighting stances.

"Enough!" Max shouts. "Take it to the training room. I've had enough of this shit. Go now!"

Eric starts to walk towards the training room making sure to bump my shoulder on the way past. I just push him away from me.

"Tris and Will," Max demands. "Go and make us some dinner. Uriah and Zeke go and stand outside the training room. Do not let them out until they have either knocked each other out or calmed down. I don't care which one. Everyone else, find something to do until dinner is ready."

* * *

Eric and I are standing in the middle of the fighting ring in the training room.

"You better make this look good _Coulter_ ," I goad.

"Don't worry _Tobias_ , I will," Eric replies with a punch to my jaw.

I hiss from the sting. "That the best you got?" I ask as I punch him in the eye.

"I'm only getting warmed up," he replies with a swing and a miss to my shoulder.

"What's so important that you have dragged me in here?" I ask. A quick kick to his side.

"So, you got Lynn's message?" he asks. A punch to my face but I move and it hits my ear.

"Obviously." A jab with my left hand and then a punch to his jaw. Shit, he has a hard head.

"We need to stop this shit in the book from happening," Eric says. Three jabs to my ribs.

"Shit, not the ribs," I tell him. Pushing him away from me.

"What? Going soft on me?" He says with a chuckle. Kicking at me.

I grab his leg and push him to the ground. "No, they just take longer to heal. Why do you want to work with me? I thought you were Jeanine's favourite."

"Hardly. Look, I didn't know about all the shit that is going down. I know you don't believe me but I didn't. All I was told was that we were going to take down the council members. I didn't know that she would wipe out the whole faction."

We aren't even fighting now. Both just lying next to each other panting heavily from the blows we have been laying into each other.

"What about the Divergent's? You have been hunting them for years."

"She thinks I have been. But I haven't. Look, I don't know what happened to Amar but I had nothing to do with that. I was as shocked as you were when he was found."

"How can I trust you?"

"You don't have too. For now. I will give you whatever information I can get. We will have to do it through Lynn. I can't get caught or I will die. Max will have no problem killing me. Some days I think he would relish in the task."

"I don't like putting Lynn in the middle."

"You need my information. Lynn will be the easiest to talk to because everyone will just think we are giving each other shit as we spar. I can talk to Tris, but it is hard with all the people coming and going in the kitchen."

"I can always come to your room if I have too. But that is dangerous. Max isn't the only traitor in this house. We all need to be careful who we trust right now."

"Who else?" I ask.

Eric just shakes his head. "You need to tell me Eric. If you want me to trust you then you need to start speaking."

"I think something is going on with Christina and Will. I'm not sure but Christina keeps trying to get Max alone. Will's sister worked on the sim serum, so he is probably following Christina for that reason. When I know more I will tell you."

"Anyone else?"

"Only someone that I suspect but I can't be sure yet."

"Who?" Eric just shakes his head at me. "Who?" I demand more forcefully.

"Shauna," Eric whispers.

"What? No. I don't believe you," I sound shocked. I am shocked.

"It's just a hunch," he says. "Just watch your back. I think this could go in a lot of different directions and some of them you aren't going to like."

"Well we will just have to see," I say.

Next minute Zeke and Uriah come bounding into the room. There laughter stops when they see the two of us lying on the floor.

"What the hell did you do to each other?" Zeke asks. "You both look like a bloody mess."

"What do you want?" Eric snaps.

"Dinner is almost ready," Uriah says. "Tris asked us to tell you to go clean up."

"So, who won?" Zeke asks.

"There's no winner here today," I say as I get up and walk out of the training room. Pushing Eric's shoulder as I pass. Hoping that what Eric has told me about Shauna isn't true. I can't even look Zeke in the eyes. This apartment is going to start to feel very small if people start to change sides.

* * *

We finish dinner and all start to sit back in our seats. Shauna has moved back next to Zeke but it feels like there is a distance far greater than the three inches wedged between them.

I wonder if Eric is right about Shauna. God, I hope he is wrong. For Zeke's sake I really hope it's not true.

 _ **Her.**_

 **For a moment, it's like I'm looking at a different person, sitting in Tobias's skin, one whose life is not as simple as I thought. He wanted to leave Dauntless, but he stayed because of me. He never told me that.**

"You knew?" Zeke asks Tris.

"What?" Tris asks.

"You knew that is what he wanted to do, you don't look shocked by what he admitted under the truth serum."

Tris gives Zeke a small nod.

" **Choosing Dauntless in order to escape my father was an act of cowardice," he says. "I regret that cowardice. It means I am not worthy of my faction. I will always regret it."**

 **I expect the Dauntless to let out indignant shouts, maybe to charge the chair and beat him to a pulp. They are capable of far more erratic things than that. But they don't. They stand in stony silence, with stony faces, staring at the young man who did not betray them, but never truly felt that he belonged to them.**

"Four you make me so angry sometimes," Zeke says, clearly frustrated. "You are not a coward. You have proved yourself to be Dauntless over and over. You need to stop beating yourself up over it. There are people in every faction who chose a different faction for a lot less of a reason."

"Remember that Erudite transfer last year?" Tori says with a chuckle.

"Are you talking about the one that accidently picked Amity instead of Erudite? Max asks.

"That's the one," Tori's chuckle has turned into a full laugh now.

"What happened?" Christina asked.

"She went to Johanna and explained what had happened," Max says.

"Johanna asked Jeanine to take her back," Eric says. "Do you know what her response was?"

Everyone is shaking their heads, hanging off the words that are being spoken.

Eric starts to cackle over whatever he is thinking. "Jeanine told Johanna that she could stay in Amity or become factionless. That she was not going to let a person into _her_ faction when she is too stupid to pick the right bowl."

"Did she stay in Amity?" I Tris asks.

"Yeah. It seems she is extremely smart. Only a few IQ points behind Jeanine. She could have been put into the Erudite leader training scheme if she had picked correctly. So she decided to teach Jeanine a lesson." Eric is laughing as he talks.

"She showed Amity where they could find all the schematics for the farming equipment they use. Now Amity doesn't need to ask for Erudite help when things go wrong or if they need a part for the equipment. They can now make their own. Leaving a very large hole in the Erudite budget."

"Keep reading Will," Max tells Will.

Will is just waiting for the laughter to die down in the room. Then he begins.

 **For a moment we are all silent. I don't know who starts the whisper; it seems to originate from nothing, to come from no one. But someone whispers, "Thank you for your honesty," and the rest of the room repeats it.**

" **Thank you for your honesty," they whisper.**

 **I don't join in.**

 **I am the only thing that kept him in the faction he wanted to leave. I am not worth that.**

 **Maybe he deserves to know.**

"Page break," Will informs us.

"You are worth it," I whisper in her ear. She looks up and gives me a small smile. Our relationship is different than what it is in the book. This is hard because we haven't done any of this yet. Hopefully we won't have to. But if we do, I need to make sure that we don't become the people we are in the book. That we are more.

 **Niles stands in the center of the room with a needle in hand. The lights above him make it shine. All around me, the Dauntless and the Candor wait for me to step forward and spill my entire life before them.**

"I hope I never have to do that," Lynn remarks.

"What secrets are you keeping Lynn?" Uriah teases.

"You will never know Uriah, _never_."

"I don't know. This book seems to be giving us a lot of information we would never have imagined. Maybe you will get to spill your guts all over the place too," Uriah chuckles.

I know he is only teasing Lynn, but you can see by the look on her face that she looks worried. I wonder what she could be hiding. Shauna was worried about her during initiation. Felt like she didn't know her anymore. I hope that we don't have to find out, I would hate to have Lynn feel like I have been feeling today. I feel like my guts have been spilled all over the lounge room floor for everyone to pick at. It could also be the pain from my fight with Eric.

"Where did we put the healing serum?" I ask.

"It's in the third draw in the kitchen," Will replies.

I get up slowly and go to retrieve it. "Get me some while you are there," Eric calls out to me.

I know what I would like to say to him but things have changed. So I get enough for us both.

 **The thought occurs to me again:** _ **Maybe I can fight the serum**_ **. But I don't know if I should try. It might be better for the people I love if I come clean.**

 **I walk stiffly to the center of the room as Tobias leaves it. As we pass each other, he takes my hand and squeezes my fingers. Then he's gone, and it's just me and Niles and the needle. I wipe the side of my neck with the antiseptic, but when he reaches out with the needle, I pull back.**

" **I would rather do it myself," I say, holding out my hand. I will never let someone else inject me again, not after letting Eric inject me with attack simulation serum after my final test. I can't change the contents of the syringe just by doing it myself, but at least this way, I am the instrument of my own destruction.**

"What about the peace serum?" Zeke asks.

"Well it wasn't like I knew it was coming," Tris replies.

"Bet you won't be going to Amity anytime soon," Marlene giggles.

"I hope I never have to go there again," Tris says.

" **Do you know how?" he says, raising a bushy eyebrow.**

" **Yes."**

 **Niles offers me the syringe. I position it over the vein in my neck, insert the needle, and press the plunger. I barely feel the pinch. I am too charged with adrenaline.**

 **Someone comes forward with a trash can, and I toss the needle in. I feel the effects of the serum immediately afterward. It makes my blood feel like lead in my veins. I almost collapse on my way to the chair—Niles has to grab my arm and guide me toward it.**

 **Seconds later my brain goes silent.** _ **What was I thinking about**_ **? It doesn't seem to matter. Nothing matters except the chair beneath me and the man sitting across from me.**

" **What is your name?" he says.**

 **The second he asks the question, the answer pops out of my mouth. "Beatrice Prior."**

" **But you go by Tris?"**

" **I do."**

" **What are the names of your parents, Tris?"**

" **Andrew and Natalie Prior."**

" **You are also a faction transfer, are you not?"**

" **Yes," I say, but a new thought whispers at the back of my mind. Also? Also refers to someone else, and in this case, someone else is Tobias. I frown as I try to picture Tobias, but it is difficult to force the image of him into my mind. Not so difficult that I can't do it, though. I see him, and then I see a flash of him sitting in the same chair I'm sitting in.**

" **You came from Abnegation? And chose Dauntless?"**

" **Yes," I say again, but this time, the word sounds terse. I don't know why, exactly.**

" **Why did you transfer?"**

 **That question is more complicated, but I still know the answer.** _ **I was not good enough for Abnegation**_ **is on the tip of my tongue, but another phrase replaces it:** _ **I wanted to be free**_ **. They are both true. I want to say them both. I squeeze the armrests as I try to remember where I am, what I'm doing. I see people all around me, but I don't know why they're there.**

 **I strain, the way I used to strain when I could almost remember the answer to a test question but couldn't call it to mind. I used to close my eyes and picture the textbook page the answer was on. I struggle for a few seconds, but I can't do it; I can't remember.**

" **I wasn't good enough for Abnegation," I say, "and I wanted to be free. So I chose Dauntless."**

" **Why weren't you good enough?"**

" **Because I was selfish," I say.**

" **You were selfish? You aren't anymore?"**

" **Of course I am. My mother said that everyone is selfish," I say, "but I became less selfish in Dauntless. I discovered there were people I would fight for. Die for, even."**

 **The answer surprises me—but why? I pinch my lips together for a moment. Because it's true. If I say it here, it must be true.**

 **That thought gives me the missing link in the chain of thought I was trying to find. I am here for a lie-detector test. Everything I say is true. I feel a bead of sweat roll down the back of my neck.**

 **Lie-detector test. Truth serum. I have to remind myself. It is too easy to get lost in honesty.**

" **Tris, would you please tell us what happened the day of the attack?"**

" **I woke up," I say, "and everyone was under the simulation. So I played along until I found Tobias."**

" **What happened after you and Tobias were separated?"**

" **Jeanine tried to have me killed, but my mother saved me. She used to be Dauntless, so she knew how to use a gun." My body feels even heavier now, but no longer cold. I feel something stir in my chest, something worse than sadness, worse than regret.**

 **I know what comes next. My mother died and then I killed Will; I shot him; I killed him.**

"You shouldn't be able to think like that," Christina remarks.

"How so?" Eric asks.

"When I was put under," Christina starts. "I wasn't aware like Tris seems to be. I couldn't think like that. I don't really know how to explain it. They would ask the question and I would just automatically answer it. It wasn't until I was out from under the serum that I could process what I had said."

"Interesting," Eric ponders.

" **She distracted the Dauntless soldiers so I could get away, and they killed her," I say.**

 **Some of them ran after me, and I killed them. But there are Dauntless in the crowd around me, Dauntless, I killed some of the Dauntless, I shouldn't talk about it here.**

" **I kept running," I say, "And ..."** _ **And Will ran after me. And I killed him**_ **. No, no. I feel sweat near my hairline.**

" **And I found my brother and father," I say, my voice strained. "We formed a plan to destroy the simulation."**

 **The edge of the armrest digs into my palm. I withheld some of the truth. Surely that counts as deception.**

 **I fought the serum. And in that short moment, I won.**

 **I should feel triumphant. Instead I feel the weight of what I did crush me again.**

" **We infiltrated the Dauntless compound, and my father and I went up to the control room. He fought off Dauntless soldiers at the expense of his life," I say. "I made it to the control room, and Tobias was there."**

" **Tobias said you fought him, but then stopped. Why did you do that?"**

" **Because I realized that one of us would have to kill the other," I say, "and I didn't want to kill him."**

" **You gave up?"**

" **No!" I snap. I shake my head. "No, not exactly. I remembered something I had done in my fear landscape in Dauntless initiation ... in a simulation, a woman demanded that I kill my family, and I let her shoot me instead. It worked then. I thought ..." I pinch the bridge of my nose. My head is starting to ache and my control is gone and my thoughts run into words. "I was so frantic, but all I could think was that there was something to it; there was a strength in it. And I couldn't kill him, so I had to try."**

 **I blink tears from my eyes.**

" **So you were never under the simulation?"**

" **No." I press the heel of my hands to my eyes, pushing the tears out of them so they don't fall on my cheeks where everyone can see them.**

" **No," I say again. "No, I am Divergent."**

" **Just to clarify," says Niles. "Are you telling me that you were almost murdered by the Erudite ... and then fought your way into the Dauntless compound ... and destroyed the simulation?"**

" **Yes," I say.**

" **I think I speak for everyone," he says, "when I say that you have earned the title of Dauntless."**

"You bet she has!" Zeke calls out and the runs over to give Tris a high five.

"Says the traitor," Lynn mutters.

"Hey!" Zeke yells. "Until we know for sure, I think we should hold off on any judgements."

"And when will that be?" Lynn asks sounding bored.

"When I come and save the day," Zeke laughs.

Lynn just rolls her eyes.

 **Shouts rise up from the left side of the room, and I see blurs of fists pressing into the dark air. My faction, calling to me.**

 **But no, they're wrong, I'm not brave, I'm not brave, I shot Will and I can't admit it, I can't even admit it...**

" **Beatrice Prior," says Niles, "what are your deepest regrets?"**

 **What do I regret? I do not regret choosing Dauntless or leaving Abnegation. I do not even regret shooting the guards outside the control room, because it was so important that I get past them.**

" **I regret ..."**

 **My eyes leave Niles's face and drift over the room, and land on Tobias. He is expressionless, his mouth in a firm line, his stare blank. His hands, crossed over his chest, clasp his arms so hard his knuckles are white. Next to him stands Christina. My chest squeezes, and I can't breathe.**

 **I have to tell them. I have to tell the truth.**

"You know you could wait until you aren't in a room full of people," Lynn says.

"Yeah. I guess. I suppose this is just how I felt at the time. I don't know. This is so damn hard to read," Tris says clearly frustrated.

"Hey," I whisper. "It's okay. At this point it is just a story. Don't upset yourself about it. **"**

"Easier said than done," Tris replies.

"I know."

" **Will," I say. It sounds like a gasp, like it was pulled straight from my stomach. Now there is no turning back.**

" **I shot Will," I say, "while he was under the simulation. I killed him. He was going to kill me, but I killed him. My friend."**

 **Will, with the crease between his eyebrows, with green eyes like celery and the ability to quote the Dauntless manifesto from memory. I feel pain in my stomach so intense that I almost groan. It hurts to remember him. It hurts every part of me.**

 **And there is something else, something worse that I didn't realize before. I was willing to die rather than kill Tobias, but the thought never occurred to me when it came to Will. I decided to kill Will in a fraction of a second.**

"I'm sorry," Christina mutters.

I look over to see Christina has tears running down her face. Is this an act? Or was Eric lying to me. I take a quick glance at Eric and he looks shocked. What the hell is going on?

"I am sorry Tris," Christina says with more conviction. "I know this hasn't happened yet and I really hope it doesn't. But I didn't realise how much it would affect you. I thought you . . ."

"I understand," Tris says with tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry I've been such a bitch. I haven't been very nice to anyone," Christina admits.

It's like the truth serum has been used on her all of a sudden. Christina walks over and gives Tris a hug.

"I think I was just overwhelmed being here. Here, in a room full of Dauntless, I think I just wanted to prove I was strong, tough. Just like everyone else in here is," Christina admits.

Tris and Christina stay hugging for a few minutes. I look over to Eric and he points his head to Max. I look at Max and he has a smirk on his face. Did Max orchestrate this? Hopefully Lynn will get some answers from Eric. I will need to talk to her. My brain is sure to explode before we reach the end of these books. I hope this isn't true, I really want to see Christina and Tris become friends again. Living here has seemed to be extremely stressful for Christina. It's like she has been trying to find where she fits inwith everyone.

 **I feel bare. I didn't realize that I wore my secrets as armor until they were gone, and now everyone sees me as I really am.**

" **Thank you for your honesty," they say.**

 **But Christina and Tobias say nothing.**

"Would you expect them too?" Shauna asks.

"No," Tris replies.

"End of chapter," Will says.

* * *

 _New poll is up on my profile page. Please take the time to vote. It could change the outcome._


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

FOUR'S POV

"Let's do one more and then call it a night," Uriah says.

"Why?" Zeke asks.

"Because I want to see how they react. It should be explosive," Uriah says with a big grin on his face, bouncing up and down in his seat.

"Calm down Uri," Marlene gently tells him. She places a hand on his shoulder and he starts to calm down a little.

"Read Will," Uriah says.

 **CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

 **I rise from the chair. I don't feel as dizzy as I did a moment ago; the serum is already wearing off. The crowd tilts, and I search for a door. I don't usually run away from things, but I would run from this.**

"Run Tris run," Zeke shouts out. Everyone groans in response.

"Come on guys," Zeke whines. "We can't keep this so serious all the time. It hasn't happened yet, let's just have a bit a fun with it."

 **Everyone starts to file out of the room except for Christina. She stands where I left her, her hands in fists that are in the process of uncurling. Her eyes meet mine and yet they do not. Tears swim in her eyes and yet she is not crying.**

" **Christina," I say, but the only words I can think of—** _ **I'm sorry**_ **—sound more like an insult than an apology. Sorry is what you are when you bump someone with your elbow, what you are when you interrupt someone. I am more than sorry.**

" **He had a gun," I say. "He was about to shoot me. He was under the simulation."**

" **You killed him," she says. Her words sound bigger than words usually do, like they expanded in her mouth before she spoke them. She looks at me as if she doesn't recognize me for a few seconds, then turns away.**

"Christina," Lynn says. "You are Dauntless. You should have hit her. Sorry Tris, but that's what I would have done."

 **A younger girl with the same skin color and the same height takes her hand—Christina's younger sister. I saw her on Visiting Day, a thousand years ago. The truth serum makes the sight of them swim before me, or that could be the tears gathering in my eyes.**

" **You okay?" says Uriah, emerging from the crowd to touch my shoulder. I haven't seen him since before the simulation attack, but I can't find it in me to greet him.**

" **Yeah."**

" **Hey." He squeezes my shoulder. "You did what you had to do, right? To save us from being Erudite slaves. She'll see that eventually. When the grief fades."**

"Who knew Uriah could give good advice?" Eric says. "I would never have thought I would see that happen."

"Well now you have," Uriah's sarcastic tone is not lost on anyone.

 **I can't even find it in me to nod. Uriah smiles at me and walks away. Some Dauntless brush against me and they murmur words that sound like gratitude, or compliments, or reassurance. Others give me a wide berth, look at me with narrowed, suspicious eyes.**

 **The black-clothed bodies smear together in front of me. I am empty. Everything has spilled out of me.**

 **Tobias stands next to me. I brace myself for his reaction.**

"Here we go," Uriah starts jumping around.

"Sit down," Eric commands.

Uriah does what he is told.

" **I got our weapons back," he says, offering me my knife.**

 **I shove it in my back pocket without meeting his eyes.**

" **We can talk about it tomorrow," he says. Quietly. Quiet is dangerous, with Tobias.**

" **Okay."**

 **He slides his arm across my shoulders. My hand finds his hip, and I pull him against me. I hold on tight as we walk toward the elevators together.**

"Seriously?" Uriah whines. "Where's scary Four gone? You have to man up dude."

"Man up?" I question.

I see Uriah gulp. "I didn't mean. I, um. Shit I don't know. Yeah you did have to man up. You should have had it out there and then. Okay? Got it all out. You two are going to break up if it keeps going like this. I don't want to see that."

"Uri," Zeke says. "You are getting a little emotional over this."

"I know. I don't know why. I just, they are such a cute couple and I don't want to see them hurting," Uriah sniffles. "Four has been so much happier since he met Tris."

"He's overtired," Zeke starts to explain. "When he gets overtired he can become a little emotional. You can go to bed soon Uriah."

"Thanks Zeke," Uri says hugging Marlene.

"Page break," Will says.

 **He finds us two cots at the end of a hallway somewhere. We lie with our heads inches apart, not speaking.**

"See you should be speaking," Uriah says. He still sounds a bit sniffly.

"Uriah," Marlene says. "Maybe you should just sit and listen. Try not to upset yourself."

"Okay," Uriah replies and then lays his head in Marlene's lap. He will probably be asleep in a minute.

I remember Zeke telling me a story about Uriah once. He explained that he is always happy and hyper but once he gets tired he will just crash. When they were kids Zeke was always finding him asleep in different hallways throughout Dauntless. That's why he eats so much cake. To try and keep going after he has reached his energy limit for the day. But once that sugar high is over he crashes badly.

 **When I'm sure he's asleep, I slip out from beneath the blankets and walk down the hallway, past a dozen sleeping Dauntless. I find the door that leads to the stairs.**

 **As I climb step after step, and my muscles begin to burn, and my lungs fight for air, I feel the first moments of relief I've experienced in days.**

 **I may be good at running on flat ground, but walking up stairs is another matter. I massage a spasm from my hamstring as I march past the twelfth floor, and try to recover some of my lost air. I grin at the fierce burn in my legs, in my chest. Using pain to relieve pain. It doesn't make much sense.**

"No it doesn't," Marlene giggles.

"Not yet mum," Uriah says as he sleeps on Marlene's lap, her giggles must have disturbed him.

Everyone just laughs.

"What?" Uriah jumps up.

"You were talking in your sleep," Marlene tells him.

"Oh. What have I missed?"

"Nothing," Eric says. "Keep reading Will."

 **By the time I reach the eighteenth floor, my legs feel like they have turned to liquid. I shuffle toward the room where I was interrogated. It's empty now, but the amphitheater benches are still there, as is the chair I sat in. The moon glows behind a haze of clouds.**

 **I set my hands on the back of the chair. It's plain: wooden, a little creaky. How strange that something so simple could have been instrumental in my decision to ruin one of my most important relationships, and damage another.**

"Over dramatic much?" Will asks.

Tris just shrugs.

 **It's bad enough that I killed Will, that I didn't think fast enough to come up with another solution. Now I have to live with everyone else's judgment as well as my own, and the fact that nothing—not even me—will ever be the same again.**

 **The Candor sing the praises of the truth, but they never tell you how much it costs.**

 **The edge of the chair bites into my palms. I was squeezing it harder than I thought. I stare down at it for a second and then lift it, balancing it legs-up on my good shoulder. I search the edge of the room for a ladder or a staircase that will help me climb. All I see are the amphitheater benches, rising high above the floor.**

 **I walk up to the highest bench, and lift the chair above my head. It just barely touches the ledge beneath one of the window spaces. I jump, shoving the chair forward, and it slides onto the ledge. My shoulder aches—I shouldn't really be using my arm—but I have other things on my mind.**

 **I jump, grab the ledge, and pull myself up, my arms shaking. I swing my leg up and drag the rest of my body onto the ledge. When I'm up, I lie there for a moment, sucking in air and heaving it back out again.**

"Damn my short legs," Tris mumbles.

I can't help but laugh. "It's not that funny," Tris tells me.

"I love your legs," I say. Hoping that will stop her from getting cranky with my laughter.

 **I stand on the ledge, under the arch of what used to be a window, and stare out at the city. The dead river curls around the building and disappears. The bridge, its red paint peeling, stretches over the muck. Across it are buildings, most of them empty. It is hard to believe there were ever enough people in the city to fill them.**

 **For a second, I allow myself to reenter the memory of the interrogation. Tobias's lack of expression; his anger afterward, suppressed for the sake of my sanity. Christina's empty look. The whispers, "Thank you for your honesty." Easy to say that when what I did doesn't affect them.**

 **I grab the chair and hurl it over the ledge. A faint cry escapes me. It grows into a yell, which transforms into a scream, and then I'm standing on the ledge of the Merciless Mart, screaming as the chair sails toward the ground, screaming until my throat burns. Then the chair hits the ground, shattering like a brittle skeleton. I sit down on the ledge, leaning into the side of the window frame, and close my eyes.**

"You could have hit someone," Tori says.

"Do you think I did?" Tris asks seriously.

"It was late. Hopefully no one was hanging around," Tori says.

Eric starts laughing. "Imagine after being exonerated for killing people you then have to go on trial for killing someone with a chair." Eric is now doubled over with tears running down his face from laughing so hard.

"It's not that funny Eric," Tris scolds.

"It kinda is," Zeke says and he is laughing too.

"Would you get executed for that?" Lynn asks.

"Oh, oh, oh," Eric can't seem to get any other words out through his laughter. "Imagine when they put the gun to your head and read out your crime."

Now everyone is laughing. Except Tris she just looks really angry.

"Don't be upset Tris," I say. "It's not worth it. I think we just all need to let off a little steam after everything."

"I know," Tris says. "It's just frustrating. Seeing what I have done. Who I become. I don't like it."

I pull Tris close to me and wait for the laughter to die down so we can continue reading.

 **And then I think of Al.**

 **I wonder how long Al stood at the ledge before he pitched himself over it, into the Dauntless Pit.**

"TRIS," Marlene shouts. "Pitched himself over? Really?"

"What would you call it?" Tris asks.

"I don't know. I don't know whether to laugh or cry," Marlene answers.

 **He must have stood there for a long time, making a list of all the terrible things he had done—almost killing me was one of those things—and another list of all the good, heroic, brave things he had not done, and then decided that he was tired. Tired, not just of living, but of existing. Tired of being Al.**

 **I open my eyes, and stare at the pieces of chair I can faintly see on the pavement below. For the first time I feel like I understand Al. I am tired of being Tris. I have done bad things. I can't take them back, and they are part of who I am. Most of the time, they seem like the only thing I am.**

"Don't you dare, ever think like that," I demand.

"Tobias," Tris says.

"No Tris. Promise me you will never think like that," I say. "I couldn't live with myself if you ever did something like that."

"Okay," Tris whispers and I hold her so close to me. The thought of her doing anything like that makes me sick to my stomach. We better stop this war before it begins.

 **I lean forward, into the air, holding on to the side of the window with one hand. Another few inches and my weight would pull me to the ground. I would not be able to stop it.**

 **But I can't do it. My parents lost their lives out of love for me. Losing mine for no good reason would be a terrible way to repay them for that sacrifice, no matter what I've done.**

" **Let the guilt teach you how to behave next time," my father would say.**

" **I love you. No matter what," my mother would say.**

 **Part of me wishes I could burn them from my mind, so I would never have to mourn for them. But the rest of me is afraid of who I would be without them.**

 **My eyes blurry with tears, I lower myself back into the interrogation room.**

"That's a page break, thank God," Will says.

"I agree," Zeke says. "That was just down right depressing."

 **I return to my cot early that morning, and Tobias is already awake. He turns and walks toward the elevators, and I follow him, because I know that's what he wants. We stand in the elevator, side by side. I hear ringing in my ears.**

"This ought to be good," Eric says with a smile on his face.

 **The elevator sinks to the second floor, and I start to shake. It starts with my hands, but travels to my arms and my chest, until little shudders go through my entire body and I have no way to stop them. We stand between the elevators, right above another Candor symbol, the uneven scales. The symbol that is also drawn on the middle of his spine.**

 **He doesn't look at me for a long time. He stands with his arms crossed and his head down until I can't stand it anymore, until I feel like I might scream. I should say something, but I don't know what to say. I can't apologize, because I only told the truth, and I can't change the truth into a lie. I can't give excuses.**

" **You didn't tell me," he says. "Why not?"**

" **Because I didn't ..." I shake my head. "I didn't know how to."**

 **He scowls. "It's pretty easy, Tris—"**

" **Oh yeah," I say, nodding. "It's so easy. All I have to do is go up to you and say, 'By the way, I shot Will, and now guilt is ripping me to shreds, but what's for breakfast?' Right? Right?" Suddenly it is too much, too much to contain. Tears fill my eyes, and I yell, "Why don't you try killing one of your best friends and then dealing with the consequences?"**

 **I cover my face with my hands. I don't want him to see me sobbing again. He touches my shoulder.**

" **Tris," he says, gently this time. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't pretend that I understand. I just meant that ..." He struggles for a moment. "I wish you trusted me enough to tell me things like that."**

 _ **I do trust you**_ **, is what I want to say. But it isn't true—I didn't trust him to love me despite the terrible things I had done. I don't trust anyone to do that, but that isn't his problem; it's mine.**

"I will love you no matter what," I whisper into Tris' ear.

She gives me a small tired smile. I can see that this is upsetting her. I don't think she likes her behaviour any more than I did in the book.

" **I mean," he says, "I had to find out that you almost drowned in a water tank from Caleb. Doesn't that seem a little strange to you?"**

 **Just when I was about to apologize.**

 **I wipe my cheeks hard with my fingertips and stare at him.**

"You're going to get it now Four," Shauna says.

" **Other things seem stranger," I say, trying to make my voice light. "Like finding out that your boyfriend's supposedly dead mother is still alive by seeing her in person. Or overhearing his plans to ally with the factionless, but he never tells you about it. That seems a little strange to me."**

 **He takes his hand from my shoulder.**

" **Don't pretend this is only my problem," I say. "If I don't trust you, you don't trust me either."**

" **I thought we would get to those things eventually," he says. "Do I have to tell you everything right away?"**

 **I feel so frustrated I can't even speak for a few seconds. Heat fills my cheeks.**

"Get ready. She may be little but she is going to explode in a minute," Zeke laughs.

"I'm so glad this amuses you all," I say dryly.

"Chill Four," Zeke says. "Just think how lucky you are it hasn't happened, yet."

" **God, Four!" I snap. "You don't want to have to tell me everything right away, but I have to tell you everything right away? Can't you see how stupid that is?"**

" **First of all, don't use that name like a weapon against me," he says, pointing at me. "Second, I was not making plans to ally with the factionless; I was just thinking it over. If I had made a decision, I would have said something to you. And third, it would be different if you had actually intended to tell me about Will at some point, but it's obvious that you didn't."**

" **I did tell you about Will!" I say. "That wasn't truth serum; it was me. I said it because I chose to."**

" **What are you talking about?"**

" **I was aware. Under the serum. I could have lied; I could have kept it from you. But I didn't, because I thought you deserved to know the truth."**

" **What a way to tell me!" he says, scowling. "In front of over a hundred people! How intimate!"**

" **Oh, so it's not enough that I told you; it has to be in the right setting?" I raise my eyebrows. "Next time should I brew some tea and make sure the lighting is right, too?"**

"Sarcasm Beatrice," Eric chuckles.

"My name is Tris," she says through gritted teeth.

 **Tobias lets out a frustrated sound and turns away from me, pacing a few steps. When he turns back, his cheeks are splotchy. I can't remember ever seeing his face change color before.**

" **Sometimes," he says quietly, "it isn't easy to be with you, Tris." He looks away.**

"Ouch," Uriah says. "That's a bit harsh."

"Way to go Uri," I say. "Make me feel bad for something I haven't even done."

 **I want to tell him that I know it's not easy, but I wouldn't have made it through the past week without him. But I just stare at him, my heart pounding in my ears.**

Tris gets up and moves to straddle my lap. Leaning her head onto my chest as I wrap my arms around her tightly.

 **I can't tell him I need him. I can't need him, period—or really, we can't need each other, because who knows how long either of us will last in this war?**

" **I'm sorry," I say, all my anger gone. "I should have been honest with you."**

" **That's it? That's all you have to say?" He frowns.**

" **What else do you want me to say?"**

 **He just shakes his head. "Nothing, Tris. Nothing."**

 **I watch him walk away. I feel like a space has opened up within me, expanding so rapidly it will break me apart.**

"What did I do wrong? I apologised," Tris says sounding confused.

"You needed to tell him you loved him," Shauna says softly.

"Oh," Tris says. "I love you," she mumbles into my shirt.

"I know."

"That's it, end of the chapter," Will says closing the book.

"Now I can go to bed," Uriah says, stretching and yawning at the same time.

* * *

Tris and I are lying in bed, it has been an emotionally charged day.

"How are you feeling?" I ask.

"I hate that we could end up like that," Tris says.

"No we won't," I say.

"You can't guarantee that Tobias."

"I can. We are watching ourselves do things which is disturbing sometimes. But we aren't those two people anymore. We are a lot closer now, living here, than we would have been if the war had started when it was supposed to."

"Do you ever wish we could just stay here?" she whispers.

"I don't care where I am. As long as I am with you."

"I love you."

"I love you too, Tris," I whisper. "Now get some sleep I am exhausted."

"I forgot to ask. How are you after your fight?"

"Sore but I should feel better by morning. There is a lot I need to tell you. Eric told me a lot today. But it can wait until tomorrow. It's not like we are going anywhere."


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

FOUR'S POV

"Pretty pleased with yourself, aren't you?" Tris giggles as I lie back down next to her.

"Yep. By the sounds you were making I'd say you were too."

Tris blushes a deep red and I can't help but laugh.

"Don't laugh at me," Tris says.

"I'm not really, I loved the noises you were making," I say. I still can't get the grin off my face.

"Where did you learn that?"

"Same place as you."

"From Marlene," Tris says shocked.

"No. I meant from a friend. Zeke mainly. Guys in Dauntless like to brag, _a lot_. So you can find out a lot more than you would ever want to know from them. I think it was one of the reasons I didn't want to date anyone. They made the girls here sound so . . . I don't know. I don't want to call them cheap. But some of the stories I've heard just scared me to death to be honest," I reply with a chuckle.

"Why do Abnegation not tell us about these things?" Tris asks.

"I think they would call it selfish to feel that good," I say.

"But it's not selfish to want to make someone else feel that good. Is it?"

"No. I don't think so. I don't think any of its selfish. I don't know why they try to make it all seem so clinical," I say.

"Do you think that if we were in Abnegation we would be doing the things we are doing? I know that I was never taught anything about oral sex. I didn't even know it existed until Marlene told me," Tris says blushing again.

"I think if you and I were together and in Abnegation then we would still be trying to get enough time alone just to hold hands," I say laughing.

Tris starts to laugh. "I am so glad we aren't in Abnegation. Could you imagine it? It would be so awkward, everyone in the faction keeping tabs on us. Making sure we aren't crossing some ridiculous line."

"I think we would have failed. We would have been the first two people in history to actually get kicked out of Abnegation."

"Why do you think that?"

"Because there is no way in this world that I would be able to keep my hands away from you," I say as I lean down and kiss Tris.

"Mmm," Tris moans as I move my tongue in her mouth deepening our kiss.

We break apart breathless. I lie down and pull Tris to me, her head lying on my chest.

"Are you sparring with Lynn today?"

"No. We are having a day off? I think she might have over done it with Eric yesterday. She gave him an absolute beating. The weirdest thing is, he seemed to enjoy it."

"Yeah, who knows what goes through his mind."

"What happened yesterday? With your fight."

"He admitted that he doesn't want to be on Jeanine's team. He said that he didn't know that they were going to have to do the things they did in Abnegation. He was told they were only going after government officials."

"Do you believe him?"

"I would love to say no, but I do believe him. I still don't trust him, I don't know if I ever will and I told him that."

"How did he react?"

"He told me it wasn't an issue right now. That we can't be seen talking and that he will prove that he wants to be on our side. He will give us whatever information he can. He is going to use his sparring sessions with Lynn to give us the information. He also said that he would talk to you but that it was difficult with all the people coming and going in the kitchen when you are preparing food."

"Did he say anything else?"

"Nothing that you are going to like."

"What do you mean?"

"He thinks that Christina and Will may be trying to get in good with Max. Christina keeps trying to meet with Max. She wants to try and keep Will safe. But there was a bigger shock than that."

"Well spit it out, don't leave me hanging here," Tris says.

"Shauna," I say. "He said it's just a hunch but he feels like there is something off with her. He said to be careful."

"What else is it Tobias?" she asks concern written all over her face.

"I'm starting to wonder who we can trust. Shauna was my first friend here in Dauntless, my first friend ever," I say. "I just hate to think that I may not be able to trust her. And then there is Zeke, how is he going to react if she turns?"

"Maybe we wait and see if it happens," Tris says. "Is it sad that I can understand Christina and Will?"

"No. I understand what you mean. I think Will thinks he is doing the right thing because his sister helped to make the serum. I am more shocked at Christina. Well not as shocked as I would have been a couple of weeks ago. She has changed since being here," I say.

"What about what she said to me yesterday? I thought we were about to get our friendship back on track."

"Eric pointed out Max to me while it was happening. He had this strange smirk on his face. I don't' know Tris. Maybe Max told them to play nice. Try and find out what we are going to do."

"I am glad we know what could happen but I don't like what it is doing to people. I feel like we are the only two who are benefiting from this arrangement. Then, I have to think what are we going to do when we leave here? Will Jeanine be waiting for us, to take us, experiment on us, when we get to go back."

"Maybe we should just stay here," I say.

"That sounds nice," Tris says.

"But we aren't nice Tris," I say only half joking.

"That's why we wouldn't sit back while everyone else fights this thing."

Tris starts to yawn.

"Wanna just go back to sleep for a while and not think about all this stuff?"

"Yeah," Tris replies, she sounds like she is almost already asleep. I pull her closer to me and let myself drift back off.

* * *

We quickly finish lunch and get comfortable for another afternoon of reading this book.

Will starts to read.

 **CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

" **Okay, what the hell are you doing here?" a voice demands.**

"I bet that's Lynn," Shauna says.

"Why do you think it's me?"

"Because you would be the only person I know who would talk like that," Shauna replies.

"There are plenty of people who talk like that," Lynn defends.

"Okay," Zeke says. "Hands up if you think it's Lynn."

I look around the room and the only two people to not have their hands raised is Eric and Lynn.

"Thanks Eric," Lynn says with a smile.

I don't think I've ever seen Lynn smile before.

 **I sit on a mattress in one of the hallways. I came here to do something, but I lost my train of thought when I arrived, so I just sat down instead. I look up. Lynn—who I first met when she stomped on my toes in a Hancock building elevator—stands over me with raised eyebrows. Her hair is growing out—it's still short, but I can't see her skull anymore.**

Lynn sits with her arms crossed over her chest and Shauna is pointing and laughing at her. Must be a sister thing. I have no idea.

" **I'm sitting," I say. "Why?"**

" **You're ridiculous, is what you are." She sighs. "Get your stuff together. You're Dauntless, and it's time you acted like it. You're giving us a bad reputation among the Candor."**

" **How exactly am I doing that?"**

" **By acting like you don't know us."**

" **I'm just doing Christina a favor."**

" **Christina." Lynn snorts. "She's a lovesick puppy. People die. That's what happens in war. She'll figure it out eventually."**

" **Yeah, people die, but it's not always your good friend who kills them."**

" **Whatever." Lynn sighs impatiently. "Come on."**

"You really think she was justified in killing Will?" Christina asks Lynn.

"What was she supposed to do?" Lynn challenges her.

"She didn't shoot Four," Christina accuses.

"No, but she was willing to let him kill her instead," Lynn tells her. "There is no easy way out Christina. You are all for giving up. So either way it would have been you dead not Will, Tris or Four if you had been in any of the situations. It is so easy for you to judge everyone else but when it is your life on the line what would you do?"

 **I don't see a reason to refuse. I get up and follow her down a series of hallways. She moves at a brisk pace, and it's difficult to keep up with her.**

" **Where's your scary boyfriend?" she says.**

 **My lips pucker like I just tasted something sour. "He's not scary."**

" **Sure he's not." She smirks.**

"I'm not scary," I demand.

"Yeah you are," Zeke says with a laugh.

" **I don't know where he is."**

 **She shrugs. "Well, you can grab him a bunk, too. We're trying to forget those Dauntless-Erudite bastard children. Pull together again."**

 **I laugh. "Dauntless-Erudite bastard children, huh."**

 **She pushes a door open, and we stand in a large, open room that reminds me of the building's lobby. Unsurprisingly, the floors are black with a huge white symbol in the center of the room, but most of it has been covered up with bunk beds. Dauntless men, women, and children are everywhere, and there isn't a single Candor in sight.**

"I wouldn't want to be in a room full of Dauntless if I was a Candor either," Marlene says.

"I'd hate to be in a room full of Candor more than a room full of Dauntless," Lynn counters.

"Yeah that would be much worse," Marlene nods her head in agreement.

 **Lynn leads me to the left side of the room and between the rows of bunks. She looks at the boy sitting on one of the bottom bunks—he is a few years younger than we are, and he's trying to undo a knot in his shoelaces.**

" **Hec," she says, "you're going to have to find another bunk."**

" **What? No way," he says without looking up. "I'm not relocating again just because you want to have late-night pillow chats with one of your stupid friends."**

" **She is not my friend," snaps Lynn. I almost laugh. She's right—the first thing she did when she met me was stomp on my toes. "Hec, this is Tris. Tris, this is my little brother, Hector."**

"You really haven't got over me stomping on your foot have you?" Lynn laughs.

"It hurt," Tris tells her. "And it wasn't very nice."

"I know," Lynn says with a grin.

She is smiling an awful lot today.

"Did someone give you peace serum?" I ask Lynn.

"What?" Lynn asks.

"You keep smiling," I say. "It's off putting. Did someone give you peace serum?"

"No, I do smile sometimes Four," Lynn tells me.

"I think Four is right," Zeke says. "Where's your stash?"

"I don't have a stash and I haven't taken any peace serum."

"Then why do you keep smiling?" Shauna asks.

I can see Lynn becoming agitated. Then the biggest shock comes Eric says, "back off. Leave her alone."

Everyone in the room goes silent. "Will start reading again," Eric says.

 **At the sound of my name, his head jerks up, and he stares at me, openmouthed.**

" **Nice to meet you," I say.**

" **You're Divergent," he says. "My mom said to stay away from you because you might be dangerous."**

" **Yeah. She's a big scary Divergent, and she's going to make your head explode with only the power of her brain," says Lynn, jabbing him between the eyes with her index finger. "Don't tell me you actually** _ **believe**_ **all that kid stuff about the Divergent."**

 **He turns bright red and snatches some of his things from a pile next to the bed. I feel bad for making him move until I see him toss his things down a few bunks over. He doesn't have to go far.**

" **I could have done that," I say. "Slept over there, I mean."**

" **Yeah, I know." Lynn grins. "He deserves it. He called Zeke a traitor right to Uriah's face. It's not like it's not true, but that's no reason to be a jerk about it. I think Candor is rubbing off on him. He feels like he can just say whatever he wants. Hey, Mar!"**

"But hector is always like that," Uriah says.

"It must have gotten worse if Lynn is commenting on it," Shauna says.

 **Marlene pokes her head around one of the bunks and smiles toothily at me.**

" **Hey, Tris!" says Marlene. "Welcome. What's up, Lynn?"**

" **Can you get some of the smaller girls to give up a few pieces of clothing each?" Lynn says, "Not all shirts, though. Jeans, underwear, maybe a spare pair of shoes?"**

" **Sure," says Marlene.**

"Eww, sharing underwear," Christina screws up her face.

"What choice would anyone have?" Marlene says.

"Lucky you're not factionless Christina," Eric says. "There lucky if they even get underwear."

"No underwear would be better than using someone elses," Christina says.

 **I put my knife down next to the bottom bunk.**

" **What 'kid stuff' were you referring to?" I say.**

" _ **The Divergent**_ **. People with special brainpowers? Come on." She shrugs. "I know you believe in it, but I don't."**

" **So how do you explain me being awake during simulations?" I say. "Or resisting one entirely?"**

" **I think the leaders choose people at random and change the simulations for them."**

" **Why would they do that?"**

 **She waves her hand in my face. "Distraction. You're so busy worrying about the Divergent—like my mom—that you forget to worry about what the leaders are doing. It's just a different kind of mind control."**

"That's an interesting theory Lynn," Eric says.

"Is it true?" Lynn asks him.

"No."

Eric's reply is so definite. There is no room to argue back. Lynn just shrugs.

 **Her eyes skirt mine, and she kicks at the marble floor with the toe of her shoe. I wonder if she's remembering the last time she was on mind control. During the attack simulation.**

 **I have been so focused on what happened to Abnegation that I almost forgot what happened to Dauntless. Hundreds of Dauntless woke to discover the black mark of murder on them, and they didn't even choose it for themselves.**

 **I decide not to argue with her. If she wants to believe in a government conspiracy, I don't think I can dissuade her. She would have to experience it for herself.**

" **I come bearing clothes," says Marlene, stepping in front of our bunk. She holds a stack of black clothes the size of her torso, which she offers to me with a proud look on her face. "I even guilt-tripped your sister into handing over a dress, Lynn. She brought three."**

"You took three dresses? What would you have been thinking?" Lynn asks. "Coz it's not like you would be going on a date with your boyfriend being a traitor and all."

"Hey," Zeke calls out. It is taking every ounce of my energy not to laugh right now.

"What? Until we know otherwise you are a traitor," Lynn states. "Maybe you should have made a t-shirt up for that."

"That's not a bad idea," Uriah says but then sees the look on his brothers face. "Or maybe not."

" **You have a sister?" I ask Lynn.**

" **Yeah," she says, "she's eighteen. She was in Four's initiate class."**

" **What's her name?"**

" **Shauna," she says. She looks at Marlene. "I told her none of us would need dresses anytime soon, but she didn't listen, as usual."**

 **I remember Shauna. She was one of the people who caught me after zip lining.**

" **I think it would be easier to fight in a dress," says Marlene, tapping her chin. "It would give your legs freer movement. And who really cares if you flash people your underwear, as long as you're kicking the crap out of them?"**

"That could be a great distraction," Marlene says. "I'm sure flashing underwear would slow your opponent down. Even if it was for just a second."

"I'm happy to test that theory," Uriah says.

"That would depend who was in the dress," Zeke says. "If she's hot then sure. But if it was someone like that Molly chick. Then no I would rather put a gun to my own head."

"You are being over dramatic," Eric says. "And it sounds like to me that it would still distract you just not in a good way. So that could be more distracting than if you thought the girl was hot."

"But it would have to be a pretty short dress to be able to kick your legs high enough to show said underwear," Marlene says.

"That wouldn't be hard to find in Dauntless," Uriah says.

"Okay, enough short dresses talk," Max says. "Just read Will."

 **Lynn goes silent, like she recognizes that as a spark of brilliance but can't bring herself to admit it.**

" **What's this about flashing underwear?" says Uriah, sidestepping a bunk. "Whatever it is, I'm in."**

 **Marlene punches him in the arm.**

" **Some of us are going to the Hancock building tonight," says Uriah. "You should all come. We're leaving at ten."**

" **Zip lining?" says Lynn.**

" **No. Surveillance. We've heard the Erudite keep their lights on all night, which will make it easier to look through their windows. See what they're doing."**

" **I'll go," I say.**

" **Me too," says Lynn.**

" **What? Oh. Me too," Marlene says, smiling at Uriah. "I'm going to get food. Want to come?"**

" **Sure," he says.**

 **Marlene waves as they walk away. She used to walk with a lift in her step, like she was skipping. Now her steps are smoother—more elegant, maybe, but lacking the childish joy I associate with her. I wonder what she did when she was under the simulation.**

"Do you think we will find out?" Marlene asks. "Because I don't think I want to know."

"Probably not," Tori says.

"Why do you think that?" I ask.

"I don't know. Maybe I'm just hoping that we don't have to find out. Look at the reactions in this room to Will dying. I don't want to know what I could have done," Tori says. "Especially because it was against _my_ will."

 **Lynn's mouth puckers.**

" **What?" I say.**

" **Nothing," she snaps. She shakes her head. "They've just been hanging out alone all the time lately."**

" **He needs all the friends he can get, it sounds like," I say. "What with Zeke and all."**

" **Yeah. What a nightmare that was. One day he was here, and the next ..." She sighs. "No matter how long you train someone to be brave, you never know if they are or not until something real happens."**

"Hey," Zeke shouts out.

"Shut up," Lynn says. "You just need to chill. It is just a story," Lynn says.

"But it could happen," Zeke says.

"So, you are saying you are ready to turn to the dark side?" I ask.

"No! I didn't mean it like that," Zeke defends.

"Whatever," Lynn says.

 **Her eyes fix on mine. I never noticed before how strange they are, a golden brown. And now that her hair has grown in somewhat, and her baldness isn't the first thing I see, I also notice her delicate nose, her full lips—she is striking without trying to be. I am envious of her for a moment, and then I think she must hate it, and that's why she shaved her head.**

"I didn't shave my head because of that," Lynn says.

"Sounds like Tris has a crush on Lynn," Zeke jokes.

"Don't say that," Uriah says. "I still haven't got the image of them kissing out of my mouth from last time."

"I'm sure Marlene could help you with that," I say.

Tris goes bright red and Marlene starts laughing. "It worked?" Marlene asks Tris.

Tris just gives Marlene a slight nod and then buries her face in my shoulder, which makes me laugh.

"What worked?" Uriah asks.

"I'll show you later," Marlene tells Uriah. She then whispers something in his ear and a big grin comes across his face.

"Are you going to tell us what you are talking about?" Shauna asks.

Uriah opens his mouth but before he can get any words out Tris, Marlene and I all scream, "NO!"

"I'm going to get that out of you all at some stage," Zeke says.

Uriah and I just start laughing. "Good luck with that Zeke," I say.

" **You are brave," she says. "You don't need me to say it, because you already know it. But I want you to know that I know."**

 **She is complimenting me, but I still feel like she smacked me with something. Then she adds, "Don't mess it up."**

"There's the smacker," Uriah says. "One day I would love to see you just be nice to someone Lynn."

"I'm nice all the time," Lynn defends. "I just don't let anyone see it."

"We have a page break," Will says.

 **A few hours later, after I've eaten lunch and taken a nap, I sit down on the edge of my bed to change the bandage on my shoulder. I take off my T-shirt, leaving my tank top on—there are a lot of Dauntless around, gathering between the bunks, laughing at one another's jokes. I have just finished applying more healing salve when I hear a shriek of laughter. Uriah charges down the aisle between the bunks with Marlene thrown over his shoulder. She waves at me as they pass, her face red.**

 **Lynn, who is sitting on the next bunk, snorts. "I don't see how he can be flirty, with everything that's going on."**

" **He's supposed to shuffle around, scowling all the time?" I say, reaching over my shoulder to press the bandage to my skin. "Maybe you can learn something from him."**

" **You're one to talk," she says. "You're always moping. We should start calling you Beatrice Prior, Queen of Tragedy."**

"Listen to the two of you," Tori laughs. "You are as bad as each other.

 **I stand and punch her arm, harder than if I was kidding, softer than if I was serious. "Shut up."**

 **Without looking at me, she shoves my shoulder into the bunk. "I don't take orders from Stiffs."**

 **I notice a slight curl in her lip and suppress a grin myself.**

"I can imagine that this is what you two would call bonding," Eric comments with a smirk on his face.

"Probably," Lynn pouts. What is up with her today?

" **Ready to go?" Lynn says.**

" **Where are you going?" Tobias says, slipping between his bunk and mine to stand in the aisle with us. My mouth feels dry. I haven't spoken to him all day, and I'm not sure what to expect. Will it be awkward, or will we go back to normal?**

" **Top of the Hancock building to spy on Erudite," Lynn says. "Want to come?"**

 **Tobias gives me a look. "No, I've got a few things to take care of here. But be careful."**

 **I nod. I know why he doesn't want to come—Tobias tries to avoid heights, if at all possible. He touches my arm, holding me back for just a moment. I tense up—he hasn't touched me since before our fight—and he releases me.**

" **I'll see you later," he mutters. "Don't do anything stupid."**

" **Thanks for that vote of confidence," I say, frowning.**

" **I didn't mean that," he says. "I meant don't let anyone else do anything stupid. They'll listen to you."**

 **He leans toward me like he's going to kiss me, then seems to think better of it and leans back, biting his lip. It's a small act, but it still feels like rejection. I avoid his eyes and run after Lynn.**

"This is to weird. Lynn and Tris bonding. Four and Tris fighting. I don't like it," Uriah says.

"Wow Uri," Lynn says. "It hasn't happened yet so don't worry too much about it."

"Yeah but you and Tris have been sparring," Uriah says. "that is bonding for you two. Does that mean we are going to have a Four Tris blow up soon?"

"Don't think that," Zeke grumbles. "I couldn't stand the fall out."

 **Lynn and I walk down the hallway toward the elevator bank. Some of the Dauntless have started to mark the walls with colored squares. Candor headquarters is like a maze to them, and they want to learn to navigate it. I know only how to get to the most basic places: the sleeping area, the cafeteria, the lobby, the interrogation room.**

"The most important places," Zeke says.

" **Why did everyone leave Dauntless headquarters?" I say. "The traitors aren't there, are they?"**

" **No, they're at Erudite headquarters. We left because Dauntless headquarters has the most surveillance cameras of any area in the city," Lynn says. "We knew the Erudite could probably access all the footage, and that it would take forever to find all the cameras, so we thought it was best to just leave."**

" **Smart."**

" **We have our moments."**

 **Lynn jabs her finger into the button for the first floor. I stare at our reflections in the doors. She's taller than I am by just a few inches, and though her baggy shirt and pants try to obscure it, I can tell that her body bends and curves like it's supposed to. "What?" she says, scowling at me.**

"Tris," Lynn says. "Were you seriously checking me out?"

"I don't know," Tris says shocked.

"Oh God," Uriah moans. "The image is back again."

"It's okay Uri," Marlene says while rubbing his back.

"I think we are all starting to picture it," Zeke says.

"Just read Will," Tris snaps.

" **Why did you shave your head?"**

" **Initiation," she says. "I love Dauntless, but Dauntless guys don't see Dauntless girls as a threat during initiation. I got sick of it. So I figured, if I don't look so much like a girl, maybe they won't look at me that way."**

" **I think you could have used being underestimated to your advantage."**

" **Yeah, and what? Acted all faint every time something scary came around?" Lynn rolls her eyes. "Do you think I have zero dignity or something?"**

" **I think a mistake the Dauntless make is refusing to be cunning," I say. "You don't always have to smack people in the face with how strong you are."**

" **Maybe you should dress in blue from now on," she says, "if you're going to act like such an Erudite. Plus, you do the same thing, but without the head shaving."**

"They really are similar," Tori says. "I never noticed it before."

"Yeah almost like sisters," Christina says.

"Oh Christina," Uriah says.

"What?"

"Don't you dare say it Uriah," Lynn tells Uriah with threats laced within her words.

 **I slip out of the elevator before I say something I'll regret. Lynn is quick to forgive, but quick to ignite, like most Dauntless. Like me, except for the "quick to forgive" part.**

 **As usual, a few Dauntless with large guns cross back and forth in front of the doors, watching for intruders. Just in front of them stands a small group of younger Dauntless, including Uriah; Marlene; Lynn's sister, Shauna; and Lauren, who taught the Dauntless-born initiates as Four taught the faction transfers during initiation. Her ear gleams when she moves her head—it is pierced from top to bottom.**

 **Lynn stops short, and I step on her heel. She swears.**

" **What a charmer you are," says Shauna, smiling at Lynn. They don't look much alike, except for their hair color, which is a medium brown, but Shauna's is chin length, like mine.**

" **Yes, that's my goal. To be charming," Lynn replies.**

 **Shauna drapes an arm across Lynn's shoulders. It's strange to see Lynn with a sister—to see Lynn with a connection to someone at all. Shauna glances at me, her smile disappearing. She looks wary.**

" **Hi," I say, because there's nothing else to say.**

" **Hello," she says.**

" **Oh God, Mom's gotten to you, too, hasn't she." Lynn covers her face with one hand. "Shauna—"**

" **Lynn. Keep your mouth shut for once," says Shauna, her eyes still on me. She seems tense, like she thinks I might attack her at any moment. With my special brainpowers.**

Shauna tenses in her seat. I watch her fold her arms on her chest. It makes me think of what Eric said yesterday.

" **Oh!" says Uriah, rescuing me. "Tris, do you know Lauren?"**

" **Yeah," Lauren says, before I can answer. Her voice is sharp and clear, like she's scolding him, except it seems to be the way she naturally sounds. "She went through my fear landscape for practice during initiation. So she knows me better than she should, probably."**

" **Really? I thought the transfers would go through Four's landscape," says Uriah.**

" **Like he would let anyone do that," she says, snorting.**

 **Something inside me gets warm and soft. He let me go through it.**

 **I see a flicker of blue over Lauren's shoulder, and peer around her to get a better look.**

 **Then the guns go off.**

"Holy shit!" Zeke exclaims. "I wasn't expecting that."

 **The glass doors explode into fragments. Dauntless soldiers with blue armbands stand on the sidewalk outside, carrying guns I've never seen before, guns with narrow, blue beams of light streaming from above their barrels.**

" **Traitors!" someone screams.**

 **The Dauntless draw their guns, almost in unison. I do not have one to draw, so I duck behind the wall of loyal Dauntless in front of me, my shoes crunching pieces of glass beneath their soles, and pull my knife out of my back pocket.**

 **All around me, people drop to the ground. My fellow faction members. My closest friends. All of them falling—they must be dead, or dying—as the earsplitting bang of bullets filling my ears.**

 **Then I freeze. One of the blue beams is fixed on my chest. I dive sideways to get out of the line of fire, but I don't move fast enough.**

 **The gun goes off. I fall.**

"Does that mean we have all died?" Uriah asks.

I hear a sob come from Marlene, while the rest of the room in silent.

"That was the end of the chapter," Will quietly says.

"Keep reading," Uriah shouts.


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

FOUR'S POV

 **CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

 **The pain subsides to a dull ache. I slide my hand under my jacket and feel for the wound.**

I let out a sigh. Thanks goodness she is alright.

"Read faster Will," Uriah demands.

"Calm down Uriah," Zeke says.

"No, what if we are all dead?" Uriah asks.

"But you're not. You are sitting here. Tris is alive so hopefully so is everyone else," Zeke says. I haven't ever seen Zeke this calm before. I don't think he has ever had to calm his brother down like this before either.

 **I'm not bleeding. But the force of the gunshot knocked me down, so I had to have been hit with something. I run my fingers over my shoulder, and feel a hard bump where the skin used to be smooth.**

 **I hear a crack against the floor next to my face, and a metal cylinder about the size of my hand rolls to a stop against my head. Before I can move it, white smoke sprays out of both ends. I cough, and throw it away from me, deeper into the lobby. It isn't the only cylinder, though—they are everywhere, filling the room with smoke that does not burn or sting. In fact, it only obscures my view for a few seconds before evaporating completely.**

 _ **What was the point of that?**_

 **Lying on the floor all around me are Dauntless soldiers with their eyes closed. I frown as I look Uriah up and down— he doesn't seem to be bleeding. I see no wound near his vital organs, which means he isn't dead. So what knocked him unconscious? I look over my left shoulder, where Lynn fell in a strange, half-curled position. She's also unconscious.**

"At least we are alive," Lynn breaths out.

 **The Dauntless traitors walk into the lobby, their guns held up. I decide to do what I always do when I'm not sure what's going on: I act like everyone else. I let my head drop and close my eyes. My heart pounds as the Dauntless's footsteps come closer, and closer, squeaking on the marble floors. I bite my tongue to suppress a cry of pain as one of them steps on my hand.**

" **Not sure why we can't just shoot them all in the head," one of them says. "If there's no army, we win."**

" **Now, Bob, we can't just kill everyone," a cold voice says.**

 **The hair on the back of my neck stands up. I would know that voice anywhere. It belongs to Eric, leader of the Dauntless.**

" **No people means no one left to create prosperous conditions," Eric continues. "Anyway, it's not your job to ask questions." He raises his voice. "Half in the elevators, half in the stairwells, left and right! Go!"**

 **There's a gun a few feet to my left. If I opened my eyes, I could grab it and fire at him before he knew what hit him. But there's no guarantee I would be able to touch it without panicking again.**

"I bet you are just hanging to put a bullet in my head right about now," Eric says to Tris.

"Like you don't deserve it for what you are doing," Tris snaps and Eric just shrugs.

 **I wait until I hear the last footstep disappear behind an elevator door or into a stairwell before opening my eyes. Everyone in the lobby appears to be unconscious. Whatever they gassed us with, it had to be simulation-inducing or I wouldn't be the only one awake. It doesn't make any sense—it doesn't follow the simulation rules I'm familiar with—but I don't have time to think it through.**

 **I grab my knife and get up, trying to ignore the ache in my shoulder. I run over to one of the dead Dauntless traitors near the doorway. She was middle-aged; there are hints of gray in her dark hair. I try not to look at the bullet wound in her head, but the dim light glows on what looks like bone, and I gag.**

"That is just gross," Marlene cries.

 _ **Think.**_ **I don't care who she was, or what her name was, or how old she was. I care only about the blue armband she wears. I have to focus on that. I try to hook my finger around the fabric, but it doesn't come loose. It appears to be attached to her black jacket. I will have to take that, too.**

"You have to be kidding me," Zeke says. "How can you do that? She's dead."

Tris just shrugs.

 **I unzip my jacket and toss it over her face so I don't have to look at her. Then I unzip her jacket and pull it, first from her left arm, and then from her right arm, gritting my teeth as I slide it from beneath her heavy body.**

" **Tris!" someone says. I turn around, jacket in one hand, knife in the other. I put the knife away—the invading Dauntless weren't carrying them, and I don't want to be conspicuous.**

 **Uriah stands behind me.**

" **Divergent?" I ask him. There is no time to be shocked.**

" **Yeah," he says.**

"You're Divergent as well?" Shauna shrieks. "What about you Zeke? If Uriah is one then are you hiding it too?"

"What if I am?" Zeke challenges.

"Get away from me," Shauna barks as she hops off the lounge and goes and sits between Eric and Max.

"You want to sit next to traitors because I may or may not be Divergent?" Zeke demands.

"Yes," Shauna says.

"So everything you said about them not bothering you was a lie?" Zeke asks.

"Yes," Shauna's answer only a whisper.

I hear Tris gasp.

"Shauna," Lynn shouts.

"Save it Lynn," Shauna says. "You are betraying our family by wanting to associate with _them_."

"That is rubbish and you know it," Lynn says. "You are going to turn your back on your friends because mum had an ex who betrayed her."

"He was Divergent," Shauna screams.

"So? Lots of people have been betrayed by people who aren't Divergent. Look at Max he betrayed Dauntless and he isn't Divergent," Lynn says.

"Do you want me to stop reading for a while? Maybe take a break?" Will asks.

"No keep reading," Zeke says. "I want to make sure my friends are okay."

" **Get a jacket," I say.**

 **He crouches next to one of the other Dauntless traitors, this one young, not even old enough to be a Dauntless member. I flinch at the sight of his death-pale face. Someone so young shouldn't be dead; shouldn't even have been here in the first place.**

 **My face hot with anger, I shrug the woman's jacket on. Uriah pulls his own jacket on, his mouth pinched.**

" _ **They're**_ **the only ones who are dead," he says quietly. "Something about that seem wrong to you?"**

" **They must have known we would shoot at them, but they came anyway," I say. "Questions later. We have to get up there."**

" **Up there? Why?" he says. "We should get out of here."**

"You should be listening to Uriah," I tell Tris.

She looks at me and I know she is pissed.

" **You want to run away before you know what's going on?" I scowl at him. "Before the Dauntless upstairs know what hit them?"**

" **What if someone recognizes us?"**

 **I shrug. "We just have to hope they won't."**

"You do have a death wish," Christina comments.

"How is it," Eric says. "That the little girl from Abnegation is the bravest of all of you?"

"Probably because most of us are unconscious," Lynn bites.

 **I sprint toward the stairwell, and he follows me. As soon as my foot touches the first stair, I wonder what on earth I intend to do. There are bound to be more of the Divergent in this building, but will they know what they are? Will they know to hide? And what do I expect to gain from submerging myself in an army of Dauntless traitors?**

 **Deep inside me I know the answer: I am being reckless. I will probably gain nothing. I will probably die.**

 **And more disturbing still: I don't really care.**

"Oh Tris," I whisper. Holding her closer to me. It breaks my heart that she is feeling that way. I understand where it is coming from but I hate it.

" **They'll work their way upward," I say between breaths. "So you should ... go to the third floor. Tell them to ...evacuate. Quietly."**

" **Where are** _ **you**_ **going, then?"**

" **Floor two," I say. I shove my shoulder into the second-floor door. I know what to do on the second floor: look for the Divergent.**

"There's a page break," Will says.

There is no talk, everyone is sitting up tense. Just wanting to know what is going to happen.

 **As I walk down the hallway, stepping over unconscious people dressed in black and white, I think of a verse of the song Candor children used to sing when they thought no one could hear them:**

 _ **Dauntless is the cruelest of the five**_

 _ **They tear each other to pieces...**_

 **It has never seemed truer to me than now, watching Dauntless traitors induce a sleeping simulation that is not so different from the one that forced them to kill members of Abnegation not a month ago.**

 **We are the only faction that could divide like this. Amity would not allow a schism; no one in Abnegation would be so selfish; Candor would argue until they found a common solution; and even Erudite would never do something so illogical. We really are the cruelest faction.**

"Yet it is because of Erudite that we have split," I say.

 **I step over a draped arm and a woman with her mouth hanging open, and hum the beginning of the next verse of the song under my breath.**

 _ **Erudite is the coldest of the five**_

 _ **Knowledge is a costly thing...**_

 **I wonder when Jeanine realized that Erudite and Dauntless would make a deadly combination. Ruthlessness and cold logic, it seems, can accomplish almost anything, including putting one and a half factions to sleep.**

 **I scan faces and bodies as I walk, searching for irregular breaths, flickering eyelids, anything to suggest that the people lying on the ground are just pretending to be unconscious. So far, all the breathing is even and all the eyelids are still. Maybe none of the Candor are Divergent.**

" **Eric!" I hear someone shout from down the hall. I hold my breath as he walks right toward me. I try not to move. If I move, he'll look at me, and he'll recognize me, I know it. I look down, and tense so hard I tremble.** _ **Don't look at me don't look at me don't look at me ...**_

"You are completely insane Tris," Zeke says. "I can't believe that you are doing this."

"You're not sounding very Dauntless Zeke," Eric teases.

"This is more than being Dauntless Eric," Zeke says. "She is going to get herself killed if she keeps this up."

 **Eric strides past me and down the hallway to my left. I should continue my search as quickly as possible, but curiosity urges me forward, toward whoever called for Eric. The shout sounded urgent.**

"Tris!" Lynn yells. "You should go the other way. If Eric finds you he will kill you."

 **When I lift my eyes, I see a Dauntless soldier standing over a kneeling woman. She wears a white blouse and a black skirt, and has her hands behind her head. Eric's smile looks greedy even in profile.**

" **Divergent," he says. "Well done. Bring her to the elevator bank. We'll decide which ones to kill and which ones to bring back later."**

 **The Dauntless soldier grabs the woman by the ponytail and starts toward the elevator bank, dragging her behind him. She shrieks, and then scrambles to her feet, bent over. I try to swallow but it feels like I have a wad of cotton balls in my throat.**

"Why are they being treated so badly?" Marlene asks. "There people too."

"It's because some people have a misguided ideal of what Divergent means," I say. "It is just a label, if you don't know the person's Divergent then you don't seem to have a problem with them. As soon as you find out you freak out. It's ridiculous."

I know that my response it mainly targeted at Shauna but everyone needs to know this. I really need Shauna and Zeke to be okay, I hate what this is going to do to him. He shouldn't have to pick between his girlfriend and his brother. I know he will pick Uriah every time. But he shouldn't have to.

 **Eric continues down the hallway, away from me, and I try not to stare as the Candor woman stumbles past me, her hair still trapped in the fist of the Dauntless soldier. By now I know how terror works: I let it control me for a few seconds, and then force**

 **myself to act.**

 _ **One ... two ... three ...**_

 **I start forward with a new sense of purpose. Watching each person to see if they're awake is taking too much time. The next unconscious person I come across, I step hard on their pinkie finger. No response, not even a twitch. I step over them and find the next person's finger, pressing hard with the toe of my shoe. No response there either.**

Lynn bursts out laughing. "I'm starting to rub off on you Tris," she says with tears streaming down her face.

"Imagine what they would be like if they spent every day together," Uriah says.

"Better be careful Uriah," Tris teases. "I have been spending a lot of time with Lynn lately."

Everyone bursts into laughter at the look Uriah gives.

 **I hear someone else shout, "Got one!" from a distant hallway and start to feel frantic. I hop over fallen man after fallen woman, over children and teenagers and the elderly, stepping on fingers or stomachs or ankles, searching for signs of pain. I barely see their faces after a while, but still I get no response. I am playing hide-and-seek with the Divergent, but I'm not the only person who's "it."**

"They might not feel pain now but they will when they wake up," Will says.

"I'm not very heavy, they should be okay," Tris says.

"Yeah you have definitely been spending too much time with Lynn," Uriah grumbles.

 **And then it happens. I step on a Candor girl's pinkie, and her face twitches. Just a little—an impressive attempt at concealing the pain—but enough to catch my attention.**

 **I look over my shoulder to see if anyone is near me, but they've all moved on from this central hallway. I check for the nearest stairwell—there's one just ten feet away, down a side hallway to my right. I crouch next to the girl's head.**

" **Hey, kid," I say as quietly as I can. "It's okay. I'm not one of them."**

 **Her eyes open, just a little.**

" **There's a staircase about three yards away," I say. "I'll tell you when no one is watching, and then you have to run, understand?"**

 **She nods.**

 **I stand and turn in a slow circle. A Dauntless traitor to my left is looking away, nudging a limp Dauntless with her foot. Two Dauntless traitors behind me are laughing about something. One in front of me is spacing out in my direction, but then he lifts his head and starts down the hallway again, away from me.**

" **Now," I say.**

 **The girl gets up and sprints toward the door to the stairwell. I watch her until the door clicks shut, and see my reflection in one of the windows. But I'm not standing alone in a hallway of sleeping people, like I thought. Eric is standing right behind me.**

"Oh shit!" Zeke shouts.

"Tris is going to be the next to die," Marlene shrieks.

"You better not be," I mumble into Tris' hair. I don't think I can hold her any closer to me. I hate this.

"Page break," Will says. "Okay, okay." Will puts his hands up in surrender. No one had to say anything he could tell by the look in everyone's eyes that they wanted him to keep reading.

 **I look at his reflection, and he looks back at me. I could make a break for it. If I move fast enough, he might not have the presence of mind to grab me. But I know, even as the idea occurs to me, that I won't be able to outrun him. And I won't be able to shoot him, because I didn't take a gun.**

I hear half the room groan at the mention that Tris doesn't have a gun.

"You better not die Tris," Zeke says. "I couldn't stand it if we have to listen to Four complaining throughout the next book and a half."

"Thanks for your support Zeke," I say.

"You know I love you like a brother but I don't know how long I would last if you were mopping through the books as well as sulking here on the couch."

 **I spin around, bringing my elbow up as I do, and thrust it toward Eric's face. It catches the end of his chin, but not hard enough to do any damage. He grabs my left arm with one hand and presses a gun barrel to my forehead with the other, smiling down at me.**

"You have guts Tris," Eric says. "I will give you that."

" **I don't understand," he says, "how you could possibly be stupid enough to come up here with no gun."**

" **Well, I'm smart enough to do this," I say. I stomp hard on his foot, which I fired a bullet into less than a month ago. He screams, his face contorting, and drives the heel of the gun into my jaw. I clench my teeth to suppress a groan. Blood trickles down my neck—he broke the skin.**

"Tris, have you completely lost your mind?" Marlene asks. "You had to remind him that you shot him."

"I'm sure it isn't something I would have forgotten anytime soon," Eric sneers.

 **Through all that, his grip on my arm does not loosen once. But the fact that he didn't just shoot me in the head tells me something: He's not allowed to kill me yet.**

" **I was surprised to discover you were still alive," he says. "Considering I'm the one who told Jeanine to construct that water tank just for you."**

"You were the one?" I ask. "How did you know?" He must've known she was Divergent

"I didn't," Eric says. "It was the only fear that I could recreate. I thought it would be interesting to see how she would deal with it in real time. I thought that once we finished in Abnegation I could get her to test it for me. Although that didn't really go to plan for me."

"Just another way to see if the sims work accurately?" I ask accusingly. Why is it that the further we read into these books the more I think that Eric himself is Divergent.

 **I try to figure out what I can do that will be painful enough for him to release me. I've just decided on a hard kick to the groin when he slips behind me and grabs me by both arms, pressing against me so I can barely move my feet. His fingernails dig into my skin, and I grit my teeth, both from the pain and from the sickening feeling of his chest on my back.**

" **She thought studying one of the Divergent's reaction to a real-life version of a simulation would be fascinating," he says, and he presses me forward so I have to walk. His breath tickles my hair. "And I agreed. You see, ingenuity—one of the qualities we most value in Erudite—requires creativity."**

"So, does that mean you are really an Erudite Eric?" Tori asks. "You were just planted in Dauntless to help with her plan. Or did you get Dauntless on your aptitude test? I suppose it wouldn't matter because I 'm sure that Jeanine would have coached you into what to do. Although if she did that might just mean that your—"

"I wouldn't go any further with that thought if I were you Tori," Eric barks.

I look over to Tori trying to get her attention but she is too busy staring Eric down. I don't need Max questioning Eric's loyalty.

"Can we just read this please," I beg. "I really do want to see if Tris is going to live or not."

Will starts to read again. Eric and Tori are still staring each other down. This could go on all day with the animosity between them.

 **He twists his hands so the calluses scrape against my arms. I shift my body slightly to the left as I walk, trying to position one of my feet between his advancing feet. I notice with fierce pleasure that he's limping.**

" **Sometimes creativity seems wasteful, illogical ... unless it's done for a greater purpose. In this case, the accumulation of knowledge."**

 **I stop walking just long enough to bring my heel up, hard, between his legs. A high-pitched cry hitches in his throat, stopped before it really began, and his hands go limp for just a moment. In that moment, I twist my body as hard as I can and break free. I don't know where I will run, but I have to run, I have to—**

Zeke and Lynn both start to laugh. "Man, she knows what she is doing," Zeke says. "Must be frustrating to hear this. You trained her not to give up and now it is working against you."

"I can respect her for it," Eric says. "I don't like her very much. But I do have to respect her fight."

 **He grabs my elbow, yanking me back, and pushes his thumb into the wound in my shoulder, twisting until pain makes my vision go black at the edges, and I scream at the top of my lungs.**

" **I thought I recalled from the footage of you in that water tank that you got shot in that shoulder," he says. "It seems I was right."**

 **My knees crumple beneath me, and he grabs my collar almost carelessly, dragging me toward the elevator bank. The fabric digs into my throat, choking me, and I stumble after him. My body throbs with lingering pain.**

"You two could keep torturing each other for hours the way you are going," Christina says.

"I suppose I'm lucky it's Tris then," Eric says. "I wonder how long you would have lasted Christina?"

Christina blushes and bows her head a little.

 **When we reach the elevator bank, he forces me to my knees next to the Candor woman I saw earlier. She and four others sit between the two rows of elevators, kept in place by Dauntless with guns.**

" **I want one gun on her at all times," says Eric. "Not just aimed at her. On her."**

"I can't believe how much trouble you are causing me," Eric sighs.

"I bet you are enjoying this," Tris chuckles. "I know you won't admit it but you are, just a little bit.

"If you say so Tris," Eric shakes his head.

 **A Dauntless man pushes a gun barrel into the back of my neck. It forms a cold circle on my skin. I lift my eyes to Eric. His face is red, his eyes watering.**

" **What's the matter, Eric?" I say, raising my eyebrows. "Afraid of a little girl?"**

The room burst into laughter. I am so proud of Tris in this moment. If she is about to die then at least I know she has gone down fighting. God I hope she isn't about to die.

"Keep reading Will," Eric says. Clearly not happy with what is happening. Which is understandable. Doesn't stop me from getting some enjoyment out of it.

" **I'm not stupid," he says, pushing his hands through his hair. "That little-girl act may have worked on me before, but it won't work again. You're the best attack dog they've got." He leans closer to me. "Which is why I'm sure you'll be put down soon enough."**

"She was ranked number one Eric," Uriah says. "I don't know why you would have underestimated that."

"You didn't see her in stage one. She should have been cut. If it wasn't for that last fight I would have done all I could to have cut her."

"That's bullshit and you know it," I say. "She was first jumper. She was the best we had with a knife. Once she got the hang of it she was pretty good with a gun. She won our team the capture the flag game. We put too much importance onto fighting. It is only a small part of training."

"You are so biased Four," Eric says.

"Yeah and you know I am right. Otherwise you wouldn't be reacting the way you are in the book to her. She has your number. If I had to pick who was going to come out of this alive right now. I would pick Tris. Not because she is my girlfriend but because she is smarter than you. You are too cocky and it will be your downfall."

"I don't think so," Eric says.

"Keep reading Will," I say. "Let's see what happens next. I can't wait to see you with a big X on the front of your shirt."

 **One of the elevator doors opens, and a Dauntless soldier shoves Uriah—whose lips are stained with blood—toward the short row of the Divergent. Uriah glances at me, but I can't read his expression well enough to know if he succeeded or failed. If he's here, he probably failed. Now they'll find all the Divergent in the building, and most of us will die.**

 **I should probably be afraid. But instead a hysterical laugh bubbles inside me, because I just remembered something:**

 **Maybe I can't hold a gun. But I have a knife in my back pocket.**

"You are in so much trouble," I say with a laugh. "She is going to gut you."

"I don't' think so Four," Eric says.

"That's the end of the chapter," Will says.

"I am not cooking dinner until we find out what happens," Eric says. "You can all starve."

"I think we should have dinner," I say. "I would hate to know what you will do to everyone's food if you die."

"I'm not dying Four," Eric says.

"Well go cook dinner so that we can find out."

"Fine. Will."

We watch as Will and Eric make their way to the kitchen. I should be more grateful that Eric is doing all the cooking. I can at least admit that he is good at it.

"Can we just sneak a peek at the book," Christina says holding the book up.

"Give me the book Christina," I demand.

"Oh come on Four," Christina whines.

"No. We all read it together," I say.

Christina hands the book over to me.

Tris has been really quiet. "Are you okay?" I ask.

"What if I'm about to die? We had been fighting, we are barley speaking to each other in the book. I don't think I could handle it if I died and we were acting the way we are towards each other," Tris says.

"I don't think you are going to die," I say. "But it's just a book. Remember?"

"I know Tobias. I would just hate for us to end that way."

"There is no perfect way to say goodbye Tris. We are getting a chance to learn from our mistakes here. Let's just see what happens."

I don't believe a word I am telling her but I can't let her know that. I can't. It's not just a book, it's what would be happening right now if someone hadn't kidnapped us and put us here. If anything we might only have a few weeks more together. Or we could have a lifetime. I pray it's a lifetime.


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

FOUR'S POV

"Okay," Zeke says rubbing his hand together. "Who is on team Tris? And who is on team Eric? For the ultimate in Dauntless showdowns, good versus evil, brute strength against cunning. Who has the stronger will to live? Let's cast our v—"

"Shut up," Eric demands. "Will just start reading."

 **CHAPTER SIXTEEN**

 **I shift my hand back, centimeter by centimeter, so the soldier pointing a gun at me doesn't notice. The elevator doors open again, bringing more of the Divergent with more Dauntless traitors. The Candor woman on my right whimpers. Strands of her hair are stuck to her lips, which are wet with spit, or tears, I can't tell.**

 **My hand reaches the corner of my back pocket. I keep it steady, my fingers shaking with anticipation. I have to wait for the right moment, when Eric is close.**

"I know whose team I'm on," Uriah smiles at Tris.

Eric glares Uriah down. "Better just keep reading Will," Uriah says.

 **I focus on the mechanics of my breathing, imagining air filling every part of my lungs as I inhale, then remembering as I exhale how all my blood, oxygenated and unoxygenated, travels to and from the same heart.**

 **It's easier to think of biology than the line of the Divergent sitting between the elevators. A Candor boy who can't be older than eleven sits to my left. He's braver than the woman to my right—he stares at the Dauntless soldier in front of him, unflinching.**

 **Air in, air out. Blood pushed all the way to my extremities—the heart is a powerful muscle, the strongest muscle in the body in terms of longevity. More Dauntless arrive, reporting successful sweeps of specific floors of the Merciless Mart. Hundreds of people unconscious on the floor, shot with something other than bullets, and I have no idea why.**

 **But I am thinking of the heart. Not of my heart anymore, but of Eric's, and how empty his chest will sound when his heart is no longer beating. Despite how much I hate him, I don't really want to kill him, at least not with a knife, up close where I can see the life leave him. But I have one chance left to do something useful, and if I want to hit the Erudite where it hurts, I have to take one of their leaders from them.**

"This is so intense," Marlene wails. "I don't think I want to read anymore."

Uriah wraps his arms around Marlene and whispers to her softly.

 **I notice that no one ever brought the Candor girl I warned to the elevator bank, which means she must have gotten away. Good.**

 **Eric clasps his hands behind his back and begins to pace, back and forth, before the line of Divergent.**

" **My orders are to take only two of you back to Erudite headquarters for testing," says Eric. "The rest of you are to be executed. There are several ways to determine who among you will be least useful to us."**

 **His footsteps slow when he approaches me. I tense my fingers, about to grab the knife handle, but he doesn't come close enough. He keeps walking and stops in front of the boy to my left.**

" **The brain finishes developing at age twenty-five," says Eric. "Therefore your Divergence is not completely developed."**

 **He lifts his gun and fires.**

"NO!" Marlene screams. "You are a monster. How could you do that? He was just a little boy."

There isn't another word spoken. At least not for a few minutes. I don't think any of us could have imagined that Eric would sink even this low. I can see by the look on Eric's face that even he is shocked by his actions.

"I need a minute," Eric says as he storms out of the room.

I want to follow him, help him. Because that Eric that is in the book isn't the Eric that has been sitting among us for the last week and a bit. But if I move I could jeopardise everything that we need to work towards to stop this from happening.

"Do you think you should check on him?" I ask Max.

"Would you want to check on him right now?" Max replies.

"Well someone should," I say.

"I'll go," Lynn says as she starts to get up.

"No," Shauna says. "I do not want you anywhere near him right now. You don't know what he is likely to do. I think Four should go."

"Why me?" I ask.

"Because you are the only one here who is strong enough to beat him. If he does something stupid, you at least have a chance to stop him," Shauna says.

"Fine," I snap. I can't make this look like I want to do it.

"I'm coming with you," Lynn says.

"Lynn," Shauna begs.

"Shut it Shauna. I will be with Four."

* * *

Lynn opens the door to Eric's room. He has torn the room apart. The mattress is on the other side of the room to the bed, his ripped two pillows in half. The dresser is overturned. The lamp next to his bed is smashed.

Lynn and I look at each other and then hear a sob. It is coming from the corner, he is half hidden from us by his mattress. Lynn quickly goes over to him. Eric tries to push her away but she isn't having any of it. He slowly relents and wraps her in his arms and starts crying onto her shoulder.

I wasn't expecting this. Not at all. No wonder they have both been smiling more today. "I didn't," Eric starts. "I don't. . . how could I do that?"

"Eric," I say quietly.

"What have I become? Fuck Four. You are going to have to help me get away from those people. I can't do that. How did I do that? What have they done to me?"

I walk over to the door and lock it. I don't need anyone walking in here right now. Especially with Lynn being so close to Eric. I don't think that is going to go down very well, no matter what side you are taking in this. I sit down next to them. We are all silent for a while, except the occasional sob from Eric.

"Eric you need to calm down over this. It hasn't happened yet. We are going to make sure that it doesn't happen. But you still need Max to think that you can handle what you just did," I say.

"You can't expect him to do that," Lynn looks at me dumbfounded.

"If we want to beat them then yeah he does," I say. "Jeanine is ruthless. She will kill you if you show any sign of weakness. Max is going to be telling her what he witnesses in this house. _Everything_."

"I never signed up for this shit," Eric mumbles.

"Maybe not," I say. "But you have a chance to change it. Now, I don't know what is going on between you two but you need to keep it secret. At least until after we are released from here. It is going to cause I lot of conflict. Especially with the way Shauna is right now."

"Shauna can go to hell," Lynn says. "I am not going to back down. She is trying to tear me away from my friends as it is because they are Divergent. She is completely whacked."

"She is still your sister Lynn," I say. "I don't agree with how she is acting, especially towards Zeke but we will just have to see how that plays out. We need to be smart here. Everyone is going to be watching everyone."

"How is it that you two came up here? I thought it would have been Max."

"Max was too much of a pansycake," Lynn says and Eric chuckles. "I volunteered but Shauna wouldn't let me. Shauna volunteered Four so I came with him."

"You wanted to come up anyway?" Eric asks me and I just nod. "But you couldn't because it would look to suspicious."

I nod again.

"Thanks."

"Don't thank me yet. Let's get this room cleaned up," I say. "By then you will have calmed down enough to be able to face the others."

"I hope Tris kills me. I deserve it."

"That Eric might but hopefully this Eric doesn't," I say.

* * *

"You good?" Max asks Eric as we walk into the room.

Eric just nods. Once he sits down he says, "just following orders."

"You are a cold hearted bastard," Marlene calls out.

"Glad to see you are willing to do what you made us do while we didn't have control of ourselves," Tori spits at Eric.

"Enough," I say. "Let's just get on with the book. I don't feel like debating all the bad that Eric is capable of doing right now."

"You just want to make sure Tris is alright," Tori hisses at me.

"Yeah I do," I reply. "So if we could just get back to that."

 **A strangled scream leaps out of my body as the boy slumps to the ground, and I squeeze my eyes shut. Every muscle in my body strains toward him, but I hold myself back. Wait, wait, wait. I can't think of the boy. Wait. I force my eyes open and blink tears from them.**

 **My scream accomplished one thing: now Eric stands in front of me, smiling. I caught his attention.**

" **You are also rather young," he says. "Nowhere near finished developing."**

 **He steps toward me. My fingertips inch closer to the knife handle.**

" **Most of the Divergent get two results in the aptitude test. Some only get one. No one has ever gotten three, not because of aptitude, but simply because in order to get that result, you have to refuse to choose something," he says, moving closer still. I tilt my head back to look at him, at all the metal gleaming in his face, at his empty eyes.**

" **My superiors suspect that you got two, Tris," he says. "They don't think you're that complex—just an even blend of Abnegation and Dauntless—selfless to the point of idiocy. Or is that brave to the point of idiocy?"**

 **I close my hand around the knife handle and squeeze. He leans closer.**

" **Just between you and me ... I think you might have gotten three, because you're the kind of bullheaded person who would refuse to make a simple choice just because she was told to," he says. "Care to enlighten me?"**

"How do they even know this?" Tori asks.

 **I lurch forward, pulling my hand out of my pocket. I close my eyes as I thrust the blade up and toward him. I don't want to see his blood.**

 **I feel the knife go in and then pull it out again. My entire body throbs to the rhythm of my heart. The back of my neck is sticky with sweat. I open my eyes as Eric slumps to the ground, and then—chaos.**

"Are you fucking kidding me," Eric yells as he stands up. "You shoot me, attack me and now you are trying to gut me. Can this get any worse? All I need now is for Four to put a bullet in my brain and my day will be fucking complete."

"It's not like you don't deserve any of it," Marlene shouts. While most of the room is laughing at Eric's reaction.

"How can it be that you, Tris," Eric says pointing at Tris. "Can be more Dauntless than the rest of the people in this room put together. You are Divergent. You have three different aptitudes but you are able to act like this. I don't understand it."

"Maybe people need to realise that being Divergent is more than just an aptitude result," I say. "Maybe because the person has had to make the choice for themselves and couldn't trust the test, that they are actually more devoted to the faction that they choose."

"So what happened to you then?" Eric asks. "Because if it wasn't for Tris you would have been straight out the door and into the hands of your factionless mother."

"Maybe because of assholes like you," I say. "You have turned our faction to shit. Look at what it has become. I hope you are both proud that you have turned our faction against each other."

"That's enough, both of you," Max states. "Will keep reading. Let's see if Eric has been able to survive Tris' attack or whether he will be the next to wear one of these damn shirts."

Max points to the shirt that Zeke is holding up in the air, the one with the big X on it.

"I better bloody not be," Eric grumbles as he sits back down.

 **The Dauntless traitors aren't holding lethal guns, only ones that shoot whatever it is they shot at us before, so they all scramble for their real guns. As they do, Uriah launches himself at one of them and punches him hard in the jaw. The life goes out of the soldier's eyes and he falls, knocked out. Uriah takes the soldier's gun and starts shooting at the Dauntless closest to us.**

"Go Uriah," Zeke shouts. Pride evident in his voice.

 **I reach for Eric's gun, so panicked I can barely see, and when I look up, I swear the amount of Dauntless in the room has doubled. Gunshots fill my ears, and I drop to the ground as everyone starts running. My fingers brush the gun barrel, and I shudder. My hands are too weak to grasp it.**

 **A heavy arm wraps around my shoulders and shoves me toward the wall. My right shoulder burns, and I see the Dauntless symbol tattooed on the back of a neck. Tobias turns, crouched around me to shield me from the gunfire, and shoots.**

"At least Tris is safe now," Marlene says with a small smile.

" **Tell me if anyone's behind me!" he says.**

 **I peer over his shoulder, curling my hands into fists around his shirt.**

 **There are more Dauntless in the room, Dauntless without blue armbands—loyal Dauntless. My faction. My faction has come to save us. How are they awake?**

 **The Dauntless traitors sprint away from the elevator bank. They were not prepared for an attack, not from all sides. Some of them fight back, but most run for the stairs. Tobias fires over and over again, until his gun runs out of bullets, and the trigger makes a clicking sound instead. My vision is too blurry with tears and my hands too useless to fire a gun. I scream into gritted teeth, frustrated. I can't help. I am worthless.**

"How can you think that Tris," Lynn says. "Do you have any idea how brave you just were. No wonder you keep getting yourself into these troubling situations. You just don't get it."

 **On the floor, Eric moans. Still alive, for now.**

"Thank goodness," I hear Eric mumble.

 **The gunshots gradually stop. My hand is wet. One glimpse of red tells me it's covered in blood—Eric's. I wipe it off on my pants and try to blink the tears away. My ears ring.**

" **Tris," Tobias says. "You can put the knife down now."**

"Those Erudite Dauntless traitors are cowards," Uriah says.

"You're not wrong," Tori states.

"That's the end of the chapter," Will says.

"Let's take a five-minute break before we start the next one," Max says.


	18. Chapter 18

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

FOUR'S POV

I'm starting to think that watching everyone's fear simulations is easier than sitting here reading about things we haven't done yet. Hopefully will never have to do. I can see the worry starting to form on everyone's faces as we get further into the story. A bit like it is when they are going through days of fear sims. The further in they get the more nightmares and day terrors they seem to get. We are all looking like that could happen to us at any time.

Eric is putting on a good front but I have known him long enough that I can see that this is all starting to affect him. I hope he can stay strong enough to work as a double agent. Otherwise we are just going to have to tell him no. That he needs to stay away from Jeanine, Max and whoever else they have working for them. I couldn't stand to see him killed for changing sides. For trying to better himself. To not become the monster that Jeanine wants him to be.

Only time will tell.

 **CHAPTER SEVENTEEN**

 **Tobias tells me this story:**

 **When the Erudite reached the lobby stairwell, one of them didn't go up to the second floor. Instead, she ran up to one of the highest levels of the building. There she evacuated a group of loyal Dauntless—including Tobias—to a fire escape the Dauntless traitors had not sealed off. Those loyal Dauntless gathered in the lobby and split into four groups that stormed the stairwells simultaneously, surrounding the Dauntless traitors, who had clustered around the elevator banks.**

 **The Dauntless traitors were not prepared for that much resistance. They thought everyone but the Divergent was unconscious, so they ran.**

 **The Erudite woman was Cara. Will's older sister.**

"What?" Will says. "Did I just read that correctly?"

Will shows Christina the book and she confirms that he read it correctly.

"Why would she do that?" Will asks. "She helped Jeanine with the serum, she was a part of Jeanine's team. Now because we are reading these books she is going to die."

"You don't know that Will," I say.

"Are you sure about that?" Will asks. "Max is going to go straight to Jeanine and tell her when he leaves this place."

"That doesn't change our plans," Christina says to Will.

I wonder what plan that is.

Will looks shocked. This is all becoming a mess.

"I'm sure something will be worked out Will," Max says. So now if Will has second thoughts Max can use his sister against him.

"What are you talking about Max?" Tori asks.

"Nothing that concerns you Tori. Start reading again Will."

"There is a page break."

 **Heaving a sigh, I let the jacket slide from my arms and examine my shoulder. A metal disc about the size of my pinkie fingernail is pressed against my skin. Surrounding it is a patch of blue strands, like someone injected blue dye into the tiny veins just beneath the surface of my skin. Frowning, I try to peel the metal disc away from my arm, and feel a sharp pain.**

"What have they put in us this time?" Tori says with a groan.

"Where are you Tori?" I ask. "We haven't heard from you since we were in Dauntless."

"How would I know Four?" Tori snaps at me.

"You could be dead," Eric says with a smirk.

"Probably better than being gutted," Tori challenges.

 **Gritting my teeth, I wedge the flat of my knife blade under the disc and force it up. I scream into my teeth as the pain races through me, making everything go black for a moment. But I keep pushing, as hard as I can, until the disc lifts from my skin enough for me to get my fingers around it. Attached to the bottom of the disc is a needle.**

 **I gag, grasp the disc in my fingertips, and pull one last time. This time, the needle comes free. It's as long as my littlest finger and smeared with my blood. I ignore the blood running down my arm and hold the disc and the needle up to the light above the sink.**

"Hold up your little finger Tris," Zeke says.

Tris holds up her little finger and we all must look a little green. Although Tris has small fingers it is still a long bloody needle to be embedded into the skin.

"Glad your fingers aren't any longer," Zeke says with a small chuckle.

"I don't think it would matter," Lynn says. "I bet they are going to hurt like hell to get out."

 **Judging by the blue dye in my arm and the needle, they must have injected us with something. But what? Poison? An explosive?**

"An explosive?" Eric asks, clearly amused. "You think Erudite are going to press a button and blow everyone up."

"At this point anything is possible," Tris says.

 **I shake my head. If they had wanted to kill us, most of us were unconscious already, so they could have just shot us all. Whatever they injected us with isn't meant to kill us.**

 **Someone knocks on the door. I don't know why—I'm in a public restroom, after all.**

" **Tris, you in there?" Uriah's muffled voice asks.**

"I thought that you would have just walked in," Zeke says.

"No that is what you would have done," Uriah says. "I'm more of a gentleman than you are."

"I doubt that," Zeke replies.

" **Yeah," I call back.**

 **Uriah looks better than he did an hour ago—he washed the blood from his mouth, and some of the color has returned to his face. I'm struck, suddenly, by how handsome he is—all his features are proportionate, his eyes dark and lively, his skin bronze- brown. And he has probably always been that handsome. Only boys who have been handsome from a young age have that arrogance in their smile.**

"Oh Tris, you are making me blush," Uriah jokes.

 **Not like Tobias, who is almost shy when he smiles, like he is surprised you bothered to look at him in the first place. My throat aches. I put the needle and disc on the edge of the sink.**

"They are both extremely good looking guys," Marlene says with a smile as she looks between me and Uriah.

"But you know I'm more handsome," Uriah tells Marlene.

Marlene doesn't answer she just starts to giggle.

"Continue Will," Eric says.

 **Uriah looks from me to the needle in my hand to the line of blood running from my shoulder to my wrist.**

" **Gross," he says.**

" **Wasn't paying attention," I say. I set the needle down and grab a paper towel, mopping up the blood on my arm. "How are the others?"**

" **Marlene's cracking jokes, as usual." Uriah's smile grows, putting a dimple in his cheek. "Lynn's grumbling. Wait, you yanked that out of your own arm?" He points to the needle. "God, Tris. Do you have no nerve endings or something?"**

"I wonder why you are joking around Marlene," Lynn says. "Because it has really upset you reading about it."

"Probably just a coping mechanism," Marlene says. "A bit like when I am at home."

"It's a good one to have," Eric says.

" **I think I need a bandage."**

" **You think?" Uriah shakes his head. "You should get some ice for your face, too. So, everyone's waking up now. It's a madhouse out there."**

 **I touch my jaw. It is tender where Eric's gun struck me—I will have to put healing salve on it so it doesn't bruise.**

" **Is Eric dead?" I don't know which answer I'm hoping for, yes or no.**

" **No. Some of the Candor decided to give him medical treatment." Uriah scowls at the sink. "Something about honorable treatment of prisoners. Kang's interrogating him in private right now. Doesn't want us there, disturbing the peace or whatever."**

"That's not fair," Tris shouts. "If we had to tell our secrets in the open then Eric should have done it as well."

"I don't think the book people can hear you," I say.

"I don't care. It is just wrong. He killed a little kid. How can they hide him away? What is Jack thinking?"

"It is because he is a leader," Max starts to explain. "There are laws stating that a leader can be interrogated behind closed doors, especially if they may have sensitive information."

"That is utter bullshit," Tori yells. "They should have to be held accountable for what they do. I don't care how sensitive the information may be."

 **I snort.**

Everyone looks at Will strangely. "The book. It says I snort. So Tris must have snorted."

"Oh," Lynn and Marlene say at the same time.

" **Yeah. Anyway, no one gets it," he says, perching on the edge of the sink next to mine. "Why storm in here and fire those things at us and then knock us all out? Why not just kill us?"**

" **No idea," I say. "The only use I see for it is that it helped them figure out who's Divergent and who's not. But that can't be the only reason they did it."**

" **I don't get why they have it out for us. I mean, when they were trying to mind control themselves an army, sure, but now? Seems useless."**

"What are your aptitudes?" Zeke asks.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," Uriah says. "And I am not saying a word about it with the people that are in this room here."

"We are going to talk about this later," Zeke says.

" _Whatever_ ," Uriah says with a wave of his hand. I can tell by his tone that he won't be having that conversation anytime soon with Zeke.

 **I frown as I press a clean paper towel to my shoulder, to stop the bleeding. He's right. Jeanine already has an army. So why kill the Divergent now?**

" **Jeanine doesn't want to kill everyone," I say slowly. "She knows that would be illogical. Without each faction, society doesn't function, because each faction trains its members for particular jobs. What she wants is** _ **control**_ **."**

 **I glance up at my reflection. My jaw is swollen, and fingernail marks are still on my arms. Disgusting.**

" **She must be planning another simulation," I say. "Same thing as before, but this time, she wants to make sure that everyone is either under its influence or dead."**

" **But the simulation only lasts for a certain period of time," he says. "It's not useful unless you're trying to accomplish something specific."**

" **Right." I sigh. "I don't know. I don't get it." I pick up the needle. "I don't get what this thing is either. If it was like the other simulation-inducing injections, it was just meant for one use. So why shoot these things at us just to put us unconscious? It doesn't make any sense."**

" **I dunno, Tris, but right now we've got a huge building full of panicked people to deal with. Let's go get you a bandage." He pauses and then says, "Can you do me a favor?"**

" **What is it?"**

" **Don't tell anyone I'm Divergent." He bites his lip. "Shauna's my friend, and I don't want her to suddenly become afraid of me."**

" **Sure," I say, forcing a smile. "I'll keep it to myself."**

"Too late now," Zeke says, bitterness lacing his voice.

Shauna has her head down, she hasn't said much all day and is staying as far from Zeke as she can. The only time she has said anything is when she told Lynn to keep away from Eric. Which seems strange when she is sitting between him and Max on the four-seater lounge. I have to wonder where her loyalties lie.

"That's a page break," Will says.

 **I am awake all night removing needles from people's arms. After a few hours I stop trying to be gentle. I just pull as hard as I can.**

"Yank the fuckers out," Lynn shouts.

"It's a wonder you're not helping her," Uriah says.

"I probably was," Lynn replies with a smile.

 **I find out that the Candor boy Eric shot in the head was named Bobby, and that Eric is in stable condition, and that of the hundreds of people in the Merciless Mart, only eighty don't have needles buried in their flesh, seventy of whom are Dauntless, one of whom is Christina. All night I puzzle over needles and serums and simulations, trying to inhabit the minds of my enemies.**

"How did you get so lucky?" Lynn asks Christina.

"I don't know," Christina replies.

"Probably off somewhere hiding," Lynn mumbles.

"Come on Lynn," Tris says. "There were seventy Dauntless who didn't get hit. She was one among many."

"Think what you like Tris," Lynn replies.

 **In the morning, I run out of needles to remove and go to the cafeteria, rubbing my eyes. Jack Kang announced that we would have a meeting at noon, so maybe I can fit in a long nap after I eat.**

 **When I walk into the cafeteria, though, I see Caleb.**

 **Caleb runs up to me and folds me carefully into his arms. I breathe a sigh of relief. I thought I had gotten to the point where I didn't need my brother anymore, but I don't think such a point actually exists. I relax against him for a moment, and catch Tobias's eye over Caleb's shoulder.**

" **Are you all right?" Caleb says, pulling back. "Your jaw ..."**

" **It's nothing," I say. "Just swollen."**

" **I heard they got a bunch of the Divergent and started shooting them. Thank God they didn't find you."**

" **Actually, they did. But they only killed one," I say. I pinch the bridge of my nose to relieve some of the pressure in my head. "But I'm all right. When did you get here?"**

" **About ten minutes ago. I came with Marcus," he says. "As our only legal political leader, he felt it was his duty to be here—we didn't hear about the attack until an hour ago. One of the factionless saw the Dauntless storming into the building, and news takes a while to travel among the factionless."**

"I bet he did," Eric says. "Pity he didn't get killed in Amity."

"Does that mean that Marcus was staying with the factionless?" Zeke asks. "I couldn't imagine him wanting to be anywhere near Evelyn."

That thought makes me laugh. I would pay to see that reunion. Or maybe not. I probably would rather stay as far as I can away from both of them.

" **Marcus is alive?" I say. We never actually saw him die when we escaped the Amity compound, but I just assumed he had—I'm not sure how I feel. Disappointed, maybe, because I hate him for how he treated Tobias? Or relieved, because the last Abnegation leader is still alive? Is it possible to feel both?**

" **He and Peter escaped, and walked back to the city," says Caleb.**

 **I am not at all relieved to find out that Peter is still alive. "Where's Peter, then?"**

" **He is where you would expect him to be," Caleb replies.**

" **Erudite," I say. I shake my head. "What a—"**

 **I can't even think of a word strong enough to describe him. Apparently I need to expand my vocabulary.**

"How would Caleb know where Peter is?" I ask.

"Maybe he told Marcus where he was going," Tris says.

"Yeah. But Marcus would probably have tried to stop him from doing that. He is pretty persuasive."

 **Caleb's face twists for a moment, then he nods and touches my shoulder. "Are you hungry? Want me to get you something?"**

" **Yes, please," I say. "I'll be back in a little while, okay? I have to talk to Tobias."**

" **All right." Caleb squeezes my arm and walks off, probably to get in the miles-long cafeteria line. Tobias and I stand yards away from each other for a few seconds. He approaches me slowly.**

" **You okay?" he says.**

" **I might throw up if I have to answer that one more time," I say. "I don't have a bullet in my head, do I? So I'm good."**

"That sounded harsh," Zeke comments.

" **Your jaw is so swollen you look like you have a wad of food in your cheek, and you just stabbed Eric," he says, frowning. "I'm not allowed to ask if you're okay?"**

 **I sigh. I should tell him about Marcus, but I don't want to do it here, with so many people around. "Yeah. I'm okay." His arm jerks like he was thinking of touching me but decided against it. Then he reconsiders and slides his arm around me, pulling me to him.**

I pull Tris onto my lap her back leaning on my chest and hold her tight. I just know we are not going to have a happy conversation in the book. I need to hold her close, I need to feel good about us while we are reading all the bad.

 **Suddenly I think maybe I'll let someone else take all the risks, maybe I'll just start acting selfishly so that I can stay close to Tobias without hurting him. All I want is to bury my face in his neck and forget anything else exists.**

Tris turns around and leans her head on my chest, we both wraps our arms around each other at the same time. I look down and we both give each other a small smile. We know we have to stay strong when we see these types of interactions between us. It's just really hard to listen to.

" **I'm sorry it took me so long to come get you," he whispers into my hair.**

 **I sigh and touch his back with just my fingertips. I could stand here until I go unconscious from exhaustion, but I shouldn't; I can't. I pull back and say, "I need to talk to you. Can we go somewhere quiet?"**

 **He nods, and we leave the cafeteria. One of the Dauntless we pass yells, "Oh, look! It's** _ **Tobias Eaton**_ **!"**

 **I had almost forgotten about the interrogation, and the name it revealed to all of Dauntless.**

 **Another one yells, "I saw your daddy here earlier, Eaton! Are you gonna go hide?"**

 **Tobias straightens and stiffens, like someone is training a gun at his chest instead of jeering at him.**

" **Yeah, are you gonna hide, coward?"**

 **A few people around us laugh. I grab Tobias's arm and steer him toward the elevators before he can react. He looked like he was about to punch someone. Or** _ **worse**_ **.**

" **I was going to tell you—he came with Caleb," I say. "He and Peter escaped Amity—"**

" **What were you waiting for, then?" he says, but not harshly. His voice sounds somehow detached from him, like it is floating between us.**

" **It's not the kind of news you deliver in a cafeteria," I say.**

" **Fair enough," he says.**

 **We wait in silence for the elevator, Tobias chewing on his lip and staring into space. He does that all the way to the eighteenth floor, which is empty. There, the silence wraps around me like Caleb's embrace did, calming me. I sit down on one of the benches on the edge of the interrogation room, and Tobias pulls Niles's chair over to sit in front of me.**

" **Didn't there used to be two of these?" he says, frowning at the chair.**

" **Yeah," I say. "I, uh ... it got thrown out the window."**

" **Strange," he says. He sits. "So what did you want to talk about? Or was that about Marcus?"**

" **No, that wasn't it. Are you ... all right?" I say cautiously.**

" **I don't have a bullet in my head, do I?" he says, staring at his hands. "So I'm fine. I'd like to talk about something else."**

"You two are so frustrating," Zeke says. "I don't know how you can stand listening to this."

"Do we have a choice?" I ask.

"I s'pose not," Zeke replies.

" **I want to talk about simulations," I say. "But first, something else—your mother thought Jeanine would go after the factionless next. Obviously she was wrong—and I'm not sure why. It's not like the Candor are battle ready or anything—"**

" **Well, think about it," he says. "Think it through, like the Erudite."**

 **I give him a look.**

" **What?" he says. "If you can't, the rest of us have no hope."**

" **Fine," I say. "Um ... it had to be because Dauntless and Candor were the most logical targets. Because ... the factionless are in multiple places, whereas we're all in the same place."**

" **Right," he says. "Also, when Jeanine attacked Abnegation, she got all the Abnegation data. My mother told me that the Abnegation had documented the factionless Divergent populations, which means that after the attack, Jeanine must have found out that the proportion of Divergent among the factionless is higher than among the Candor. That makes them an illogical target."**

" **All right. Then tell me about the serum again," I say. "It has a few parts, right?"**

" **Two," he says, nodding. "The transmitter and the liquid that induces the simulation. The transmitter communicates information to the brain from the computer, and vice versa, and the liquid alters the brain to put it in a simulation state."**

 **I nod. "And the transmitter only works for one simulation, right? What happens to it after that?"**

" **It dissolves," he says. "As far as I know, the Erudite haven't been able to develop a transmitter that lasts for more than one simulation, although the attack simulation lasted far longer than any simulation I've seen before."**

 **The words "as far as I know" stick in my mind. Jeanine has spent most of her adult life developing the serums. If she's still hunting down the Divergent, she's probably still obsessed with creating more advanced versions of the technology.**

" **What's this about, Tris?" he says.**

" **Have you seen this yet?" I say, pointing at the bandage covering my shoulder.**

" **Not up close," he says. "Zeke and I were hauling wounded Erudite up to the fourth floor all morning."**

"Hey, hey, hey!" Zeke shouts. "That's me. I'm not a traitor. See I told you."

"It must be a typo," Will says. "Or Four is just really tired and mixed you and Uriah up."

"Nope, I don't believe it," Zeke says. "There is no way that I am a traitor. I'm there."

Shauna snorts.

"Got something to say?" Zeke asks her.

Shauna just shakes her head no.

 **I peel away the edge of the bandage, revealing the puncture wound—no longer bleeding, thankfully—and the patch of blue dye that doesn't seem to be fading. Then I reach into my pocket and take out the needle that was buried in my arm.**

" **When they attacked, they weren't trying to kill us. They were shooting us with these," I say.**

 **His hand touches the dyed skin around the puncture wound. I didn't notice it before because it was happening right in front of me, but he looks different than he used to, during initiation. He's let his facial hair grow in a little, and his hair is longer than I've ever seen it—dense enough to show me that it is brown, not black.**

"Sexier?" Marlene questions with a giggle.

 **He takes the needle from me and taps the metal disc at the end of it. "This is probably hollow. It must have contained whatever that blue stuff in your arm is. What happened after you were shot?"**

" **They tossed these gas-spewing cylinders into the room, and everyone went unconscious. That is, everyone but Uriah and me and the other Divergent."**

 **Tobias doesn't seem surprised. I narrow my eyes. "Did you know that Uriah was Divergent?"**

 **He shrugs. "Of course. I ran his simulations, too."**

" **And you never told me?"**

" **Privileged information," he says. "Dangerous information."**

"Why didn't you tell me?" Zeke asks.

"Did you not just hear my answer to Tris?" I reply.

"But I'm his brother," Zeke defends.

"And he could have told you himself," I say.

"Uriah?" Zeke questions.

"Just leave it Zeke," Uriah says.

"Fine," Zeke huffs. "But I'm not happy about it."

 **I feel a flare of anger—how many things is he going to keep from me?—and try to stifle it. Of course he couldn't tell me Uriah was Divergent. He was just respecting Uriah's privacy. It makes sense.**

 **I clear my throat. "You saved our lives, you know," I say. "Eric was trying to hunt us down."**

" **I think we're past keeping track of who has saved whose life." He looks at me for a few long seconds.**

" **Anyway," I say to break the silence. "After we figured out that everyone was asleep, Uriah ran upstairs to warn the people who were up there, and I went to the second floor to figure out what was going on. Eric had all the Divergent by the elevators, and he was trying to figure out which of us he was going to take back with him. He said he was allowed to take two. I don't know why he was going to take any."**

" **Odd," he says.**

" **Any ideas?"**

" **My guess is that the needle injected you with a transmitter," he says, "and the gas was an aerosol version of the liquid that alters the brain. But why ..." A crease appears between his eyebrows. "Oh. She put everyone to sleep to find out who the Divergent were."**

" **You think that's the only reason for shooting us with transmitters?"**

 **He shakes his head, and his eyes lock on mine. Their blue is so dark and familiar that I feel like it could swallow me whole. For a moment I wish it would, so that I could escape this place and all that has happened.**

" **I think you've already figured it out," he says, "but you want me to contradict you. And I'm not going to."**

" **They've developed a long-lasting transmitter," I say.**

 **He nods.**

" **So now we're all wired for multiple simulations," I add. "As many as Jeanine wants, maybe."**

 **He nods again.**

 **My next breath shakes on the way out of my mouth. "This is really bad, Tobias."**

"This woman is completely crazy," Tori shouts. "She is going to keep us under simulation for the rest of our lives. Who would want to do that? What will she achieve from it?"

"Page break," Will says.

 **In the hallway outside the interrogation room, he stops, leaning against the wall.**

" **So you attacked Eric," he says. "Was that during the invasion? Or when you were by the elevators?"**

"Don't answer the question Tris," Eric says.

"Why?" Tris asks.

"Because he is not going to be happy with your answer," Eric says. "You are setting yourself up for a tongue lashing."

"A tongue lashing?" Zeke asks. "Really? Who says that?"

"An Erudite dressed in black," Tori replies.

" **By the elevators," I say.**

" **One thing I don't understand," he says. "You were downstairs. You could have just run away. But instead, you decided to dive into a crowd of armed Dauntless all by yourself. And I'm willing to bet you weren't carrying a gun."**

 **I press my lips together.**

" **Is that true?" he demands.**

" **What makes you think I didn't have a gun?" I scowl.**

" **You haven't been able to touch a gun since the attack," he says. "I understand why, with the whole Will thing, but—"**

" **That has nothing to do with it."**

" **No?" He lifts his eyebrows.**

" **I did what I had to do."**

" **Yeah. But now you should be done," he says, pulling away from the wall to face me. Candor hallways are wide, wide enough for all the space I want to keep between us. "You should have stayed with the Amity. You should have stayed far away from all of this."**

" **No, I shouldn't have," I say. "You think you know what's best for me? You have no idea. I was going crazy with the Amity. Here I finally feel ... sane again."**

" **Which is odd, considering you are acting like a psychopath," he says.**

"Woah, Four," Zeke says. "Not the best approach."

"What would you expect me to say?" I ask.

"I don't know," Zeke says. "She helped save a lot of people."

"It doesn't mean that it is the right thing to do," I say. "How many times is she going to be able to stop this type of stuff from happening. I don't want to have to see her die and I am sure that would be what I was thinking in the book as well," I defend.

" **It's not brave, choosing the position you were in yesterday. It's beyond stupid—it's suicidal. Don't you have any regard for your own life?"**

" **Of course I do!" I retort. "I was trying to do something useful!"**

 **For a few seconds he just stares at me.**

" **You're more than Dauntless," he says in a low voice. "But if you want to be just like them, hurling yourself into ridiculous situations for no reason and retaliating against your enemies without any regard for what's ethical, go right ahead. I thought you were better than that, but maybe I was wrong!"**

Gasps. A lot of gasps around the room.

 **I clench my hands, my jaw.**

" **You shouldn't insult the Dauntless," I say. "They took you in when you had nowhere else to go. Trusted you with a good job. Gave you all your friends."**

 **I lean against the wall, my eyes on the floor. The tiles in the Merciless Mart are always black and white, and here they are in a checkered pattern. If I unfocus my eyes, I see exactly what the Candor don't believe in—gray. Maybe Tobias and I don't believe in it either. Not really.**

 **I weigh too much, more than my frame can support, so much I should fall right through the floor.**

" **Tris."**

 **I keep staring.**

" **Tris."**

 **I finally look at him.**

" **I just don't want to lose you."**

 **We stand there for a few minutes. I don't say what I'm thinking, which is that he might be right. There is a part of me that wants to be lost, that struggles to join my parents and Will so that I don't have to ache for them anymore. A part of me that wants to see whatever comes next.**

"I hope you never have to feel that," I whisper to Tris.

"Me too," Tris replies.

"You are going to get yourself killed if you keep this up," Lynn says.

Tris just shrugs. What can she say, she can see what she is doing in the book is beyond crazy.

"That's a page break," Will says.

" **So you're her brother?" says Lynn. "I guess we know who got the good genes."**

"Is that your way of flirting?" Zeke chuckles.

I hear Eric start to laugh. I really don't want to know what he is thinking right now. I would hate to have to witness him and Lynn flirting. Although I have a strange feeling fists flying is part of it.

 **I laugh at the expression on Caleb's face, his mouth drawn into a slight pucker and his eyes wide.**

" **When do you have to get back?" I say, nudging him with my elbow.**

 **I bite into the sandwich Caleb got me from the cafeteria line. I am nervous to have him here, mixing the sad remains of my family life with the sad remains of my Dauntless life. What will he think of my friends, my faction? What will my faction think of him?**

" **Soon," he says. "I don't want anyone to worry."**

" **I didn't realize Susan had changed her name to 'Anyone,'" I say, raising an eyebrow.**

" **Ha-ha," he says, making a face at me.**

 **Teasing between siblings should feel familiar, but it doesn't for us. Abnegation discouraged anything that might make someone feel uncomfortable, and teasing was included.**

"How did you survive?" Uriah groans. "Zeke and I would have gone mental living there."

Lynn starts to laugh. "Imagine if Uriah and Zeke grew up in Abnegation. There would be chaos in the streets. Especially if they became friends with Tris."

A lot of laughter ensues.

"Imagine how easy it would be to pull pranks on the Abnegation," Zeke wheezes through his laughter. "And, and, and they would have to forgive you because that's what they do."

"Not if Marcus caught you," Eric says.

The room goes dead silent. The laughter stopping instantly.

"You had to go and ruin the fun," Zeke snaps. "Didn't you?"

"What do you want me to say Zeke?" Eric asks. "I wouldn't want to be pranking people with him around. God knows what he would do."

"Just read Will," Zeke says sounding deflated.

 **I can feel how cautious we are with each other, now that we're discovering a different way to relate in light of our new factions and our parents' deaths. Every time I look at him, I realize that he's the only family I have left and I feel desperate, desperate to keep him around, desperate to narrow the gap between us.**

"I don't think it is going to work," Uriah says.

"Why do you think that?" Tris asks.

"Caleb is very different to you Tris. He doesn't seem to have a sense of humour. I feel like he would save himself before he would help anyone else. I know you said he was selfless. But I don't see it now that he transferred to Erudite," Uriah says. "Also Tris, you are the most selfless person I have ever met."

"I agree," Lynn says.

"Me too," Marlene chimes in.

"Okay," Tris says. I can almost hear her brain analysing what Uriah has just said.

" **Is Susan another Erudite defector?" says Lynn, stabbing a string bean with her fork. Uriah and Tobias are still in the lunch line, waiting behind two dozen Candor who are too busy bickering to get their food.**

"It's a wonder they didn't scatter," Christina says. "Or you didn't just yell at them."

"I don't speak out at every Candor smart mouth I meet," I grumble.

" **No, she was our neighbor when we were kids. She's Abnegation," I say.**

" **And you're involved with her?" she asks Caleb. "Don't you think that's kind of a stupid move? I mean, when all this is over, you'll be in different factions, living in completely different places..."**

" **Lynn," Marlene says, touching her shoulder, "shut up, will you?"**

"Always the romantic Marlene," Lynn teases.

 **Across the room, something blue catches my attention. Cara just walked in. I put down my sandwich, my appetite gone, and look up at her with my head lowered. She walks to the far corner of the cafeteria, where a few tables of Erudite refugees sit. Most of them have abandoned their blue clothes in favor of black-and-white ones, but they still wear their glasses. I try to focus on Caleb instead—but Caleb is watching the Erudite, too.**

" **I can't go back to Erudite any more than they can," says Caleb. "When this is over, I won't have a faction."**

 **For the first time I notice how sad he looks when he talks about the Erudite. I didn't realize how difficult the decision to leave them must have been for him.**

" **You could go sit with them," I say, nodding toward the Erudite refugees.**

" **I don't know them." He shrugs. "I was only there for a month, remember?"**

"They are still part of his faction," Lynn says.

"Erudite is all about getting ahead," Eric says. "Friendships aren't encouraged like in Dauntless. You are always competing to be the best."

"Sounds familiar," Tori says. "We have all seen how much you hate Four. And all because he always seems to better you."

I can see what Tori is trying to do. I wish we could just all get on with this without the animosity. It is getting tiring.

 **Uriah drops his tray on the table, scowling. "I overheard someone talking about Eric's interrogation in the lunch line. Apparently he knew almost** _ **nothing**_ **about Jeanine's plan."**

"I told you," Eric shouts. "I told you this and nobody believed me."

"Sit down," Tori demands.

"Why should I?" Eric questions.

"Because it makes no difference. You just executed a kid. Does that not make you see that we can't trust you," Tori says.

"Yeah well how do you know that I wasn't following orders?" he says.

"I don't care," Tori states. "You can't justify it. Shows what a true coward you are not to stand up against such ridiculous orders. You can't tell me you think it's right. We all saw your reaction. Even _you_ were sickened by it."

"Sit down Eric," I say calmly. "Don't make this even worse."

Reluctantly Eric sits down. He knows Tori has him on the kids death.

" **What?" Lynn slaps her fork on the table. "How is that even possible?"**

 **Uriah shrugs, and sits.**

" **I'm not surprised," Caleb says.**

 **Everyone stares at him.**

" **What?" He flushes. "It would be stupid to confide your entire plan to one person. It's infinitely smarter to give little pieces of it to each person working with you. That way, if someone betrays you, the loss isn't too great."**

"Sounds like he knows a lot more than he is letting on," Uriah says.

" **Oh," says Uriah.**

 **Lynn picks up her fork and starts eating again.**

"I hate to say this Tris but there is something off with your brother," Tori says.

"I hope you are wrong Tori," Tris says. It is almost like I can hear the cogs turning in her brain. First Uriah and now Tori. For Tris' sake I hope they are wrong.

" **I heard the Candor made ice cream," says Marlene, twisting her head around to see the lunch line. "You know, as a kind of 'it sucks we got attacked, but at least there are desserts' thing."**

" **I feel better already," says Lynn dryly.**

"Does that mean they don't usually have dessert in Candor?" Uriah asks.

"No they always have some," Christina answers. "They were probably a bit flustered with all the extra food they had to make and so didn't make any."

" **It probably won't be as good as Dauntless cake," says Marlene mournfully. She sighs, and a strand of mousy brown hair falls in her eyes.**

" **We had good cake," I tell Caleb.**

"Do you think we will get cake soon?" Uriah asks.

"Maybe leave them a note," Tris says.

"Do you think they would answer?" Uriah asks, hope in his eyes.

"Only one way to find out," Tris replies.

Uriah jumps up and starts looking around.

"What are you doing Uri?" Marlene asks.

"Looking for something to write my note on," he replies.

"Just sit down, you can do that after we finish reading the chapter," Marlene tells him.

"Will you remind me?"

"Do you really think you will forget about cake?" Marlene smiles.

" **We had fizzy drinks," he says.**

" **Ah, but did you have a ledge overlooking an underground river?" says Marlene, waggling her eyebrows. "Or a room where you faced all your nightmares at once?"**

" **No," says Caleb, "and to be honest, I'm kind of okay with that."**

" _ **Si-ssy**_ **," sings Marlene.**

" **All your nightmares?" says Caleb, his eyes lighting up. "How does that work? I mean, are the nightmares produced by the computer or by your brain?"**

" **Oh God." Lynn drops her head into her hands. "Here we go."**

"I bet I was wishing I had sat somewhere else," Lynn says.

"Yeah," I say. "That's how I felt while we were reading about Amity."

"He's not that bad," Tris defends.

"You have to say that, he's your brother," Lynn says with a raised eyebrow.

"Maybe," Tris mumbles.

 **Marlene launches into a description of the simulations, and I let her voice, and Caleb's voice, wash over me as I finish my sandwich. Then, despite the clatter of forks and the roar of hundreds of conversations all around me, I rest my head on the table and fall asleep.**

"End of chapter," Will says.

"Marlene help me find some paper and a pen," Uriah rushes around the room looking for his paper and pen.


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER NINETEEN

FOUR'S POV

After lunch we all gather around to read the book again. Uriah has been sulking all morning. His note was still on the table where he left it last night and there was no cake. We tried to explain that it might take a few days but he wasn't very happy about it. To try and cheer him up we told him that we would organise a water pistol fight for tomorrow morning. This seemed to cheer him up a little.

"Let's get this started," Lynn says.

"What has you so happy?" Shauna asks.

"I just want to get this over with, that's all," Lynn replies.

I know that's not true, whatever is happening between Lynn and Eric seems to have her in a good mood. I would hate to see how Shauna would react if she knew. Shauna moved out of her and Zeke's room last night.

Zeke came and talked to Tris and I last night. Even though he is upset with what has happened, he said he is not going to try and win her back right now. Protecting Uriah and getting through whatever is going to happen is more important to him. He is shocked that Shauna has reacted the way she has but he is also hoping that by giving her time that she might change her mind.

It's the first time I've ever seen Zeke acting mature about life. I suppose we are all going to have to grow up a lot quicker than we already have if our lives are going to be anything like they are in these books. I can't imagine what is going to happen when we leave here.

"Ready?" Will asks.

"Just get on with it," Eric mumbles.

 **CHAPTER EIGHTEEN**

" **Quiet down, everyone!"**

 **Jack Kang lifts his hands, and the crowd goes silent. That is a talent.**

"I bet it wouldn't work in Dauntless," Lynn comments.

 **I stand among the crowd of Dauntless who got here late, when there were no seats left. A flash of light catches my eye —lightning. It's not the best time to be meeting in a room with holes in the walls instead of windows, but this is the biggest room they have.**

" **I know many of you are confused and shaken by what happened yesterday," Jack says. "I have heard many reports from a variety of perspectives, and have gotten a sense for what is straightforward and what requires more investigation."**

 **I tuck my wet hair behind my ears. I woke up ten minutes before the meeting was supposed to start and ran to the showers. Though I'm still exhausted, I feel more alert now.**

" **What seems to me to require more investigation," Jack says, "is the Divergent."**

 **He looks tired—he has dark circles under his eyes, and his short hair sticks out at random, like he's been pulling it all night. Despite the stifling heat of the room, he wears a long-sleeved shirt that buttons at the wrists—he must have been distracted when he dressed this morning.**

"It amazes me what goes through your mind," Marlene says.

"Me too," Tris agrees.

" **If you are one of the Divergent, please step forward so that we can hear from you."**

 **I look sideways at Uriah. This feels dangerous. My Divergence is something I am supposed to hide. Admitting it is supposed to mean death. But there is no sense in hiding it now—they already know about me.**

 **Tobias is the first to move. He starts into the crowd, at first turning his body to wedge his way between people, and then, when they step back for him, moving straight toward Jack Kang with his shoulders back.**

 **I move, too, muttering "Excuse me" to the people in front of me. They draw back like I just threatened to spit poison at them. A few others step forward, in Candor black and white, but not many. One of them is the girl I helped.**

 **Despite the notoriety Tobias now has among the Dauntless, and my new title as That Girl Who Stabbed Eric, we are not the real focus of everyone's attention. Marcus is.**

" **You, Marcus?" says Jack when Marcus reaches the middle of the room and stands on top of the lower scale in the floor.**

"Did you know?" Eric asks me.

"No idea," I reply.

" **Yes," Marcus says. "I understand that you are concerned—that you all are concerned. You had never heard of the Divergent a week ago, and now all that you know is that they are immune to something to which you are susceptible, and that is a frightening thing. But I can assure you that there is nothing to be afraid of, as far as we are concerned."**

"As far as we are concerned," scoffs Shauna. "Like that is going to make everyone believe."

 **As he speaks, his head tilts and his eyebrows lift in sympathy, and I understand at once why some people like him. He makes you feel that if you just placed everything in his hands, he would take care of it.**

"Master manipulator," Eric says.

"That he is," I mumble.

" **It seems clear to me," says Jack, "that we were attacked so that the Erudite could find the Divergent. Do you know why that is?"**

" **No, I do not," says Marcus. "Perhaps their intention was merely to identify us. It seems like useful information to have, if they intend to use their simulations again."**

" **That was** _ **not**_ **their intention." The words are past my lips before I decide to speak them. My voice sounds high and weak compared to Marcus's and Jack's, but it's too late to stop. "They wanted to kill us. They've been killing us since before any of this happened."**

 **Jack's eyebrows draw together. I hear hundreds of tiny sounds, raindrops hitting the roof. The room darkens, as if under the gloom of what I just said.**

" **That sounds very much like a conspiracy theory," Jack says. "What reason would the Erudite have to kill you?"**

"Candor live in their own little bubble, don't they?" Tori remarks.

"They can only cope with facts," Christina replies. "If it isn't black or white they tend to push it to the side."

"That is a stupid way of looking at things," Lynn states. "What?" Everyone is looking at Lynn.

"It's just, that is how it has always been," Eric says. "That's why they wear black and white."

"I know that," Lynn snaps. "It's just not everything is black or white."

"It must be great for them to be able to break everything down like that," sarcasm dripping from Lynn's words.

 **My mother said people feared the Divergent because we couldn't be controlled. That may be true, but fear of the uncontrollable is not a concrete enough reason to give Jack Kang for the Erudite wanting us dead. My heart races as I realize that I can't answer his question.**

" **I ..." I start. Tobias interrupts me.**

" **Obviously we don't know," he says, "but there are nearly a dozen mysterious deaths recorded among the Dauntless from the past six years, and there is a correlation between those people and irregular aptitude test results or initiation simulation results."**

 **Lightning strikes, making the room glow. Jack shakes his head. "While that is intriguing, correlation does not constitute evidence."**

"See," Lynn shouts. "They just want to stick their heads up their asses. They don't want to know the truth."

" **A Dauntless leader shot a Candor child in the head," I snap. "Did you get a report of that? Did it seem 'worthy of investigation'?"**

" **In fact I did," he says. "And shooting a child in cold blood is a terrible crime that cannot go unpunished. Fortunately, we have the perpetrator in custody and will be able to put him on trial.** _ **However**_ **, we must keep in mind that the Dauntless soldiers did not give any evidence of wanting to harm the majority of us, or they would have killed us while we were unconscious."**

"Is he serious," Tris calls out. "He makes it sound like it is okay to kill one because no one else got killed. How can we trust them?"

 **I hear irritated murmurs all around me.**

" **Their peaceful invasion suggests to me that it may be possible to negotiate a peace treaty with the Erudite and the other Dauntless," he continues. "So I will arrange a meeting with Jeanine Matthews to discuss that possibility as soon as possible."**

"Peaceful?" I scoff.

"Remind me if we end up in this situation not to go to Candor," Marlene says.

"I bet the little boys family don't consider it peaceful," Tris says with tears in her eyes.

"Hey, it's okay," I try to calm her.

"No, it's not," Tris replies. "There is so many things wrong with this. Why does Jeanine have so much power over everyone? Why would Jack want to try and negotiate?"

"He doesn't have a choice," Eric answers. "They are the faction that we can live without. If he doesn't stay on side then he could lose his faction."

"So this is all really about power and greed?" Tris asks. "This is why Abnegation were put in charge of the council. So this wouldn't happen."

"The problem is the wrong person is in charge of the faction," Max says.

"Are you talking about Abnegation or Candor?" Tris asks.

"Abnegation," Max replies.

"Are you telling me that if Marcus wasn't in charge of Abnegation then you wouldn't be siding with Jeanine?" Tris asks.

"It's more complicated than that Tris," Max says.

"Then why the hell are you doing this then?" I ask. "What are you gaining by doing this Max?"

"I'm not gaining anything," Max answers.

"Then why?" Tris and I ask at the same time.

"My reasons are personal. I'm not going to divulge them to you or anyone else," Max states.

"You're telling us," I say. "That you are happy to live in a society where everyone is either dead or under simulation for the rest of their lives?"

"Yes."

"You make me sick," I spit.

"Better start reading again Will," Zeke says.

I can't believe Max. What the hell is wrong with him? How can he sit here and not be affected by what could happen? I don't understand any of it.

" **Their invasion wasn't** _ **peaceful**_ **," I say. I can see the corner of Tobias's mouth from where I stand, and he is smiling. I take a deep breath and begin again. "Just because they didn't shoot you all in the head doesn't mean their intentions were somehow honorable. Why do you think they came here? Just to run through your hallways, knock you unconscious, and leave?"**

"Go Tris," Uriah cheers.

" **I assume they came here for people like you," says Jack. "And while I am concerned for your safety, I don't think we can attack them just because they wanted to kill a fraction of our population."**

"He's an idiot," Lynn scoffs.

" **Killing you is not the worst thing they can do to you," I say. "Controlling you is."**

 **Jack's lips curl with amusement. Amusement. "Oh? And how will they manage that?"**

" **They shot you with needles," Tobias says. "Needles full of simulation transmitters. Simulations control you. That's how."**

" **We know how simulations work," says Jack. "The transmitter is not a permanent implant. If they intended to control us, they would have done it right away."**

" **But—" I begin.**

 **He interrupts me. "I know you have been under a lot of stress, Tris," he says quietly, "and that you have done a great service to your faction and to Abnegation. But I think your traumatic experience may have compromised your ability to be completely objective. I can't launch an attack based on a little girl's speculations."**

"Who the hell does he think he is?" Tori calls out. "He saw what you did and now he wants to call you a little girl. He should be thankful that you can't shoot a gun right about now."

"No wonder no one gets along with Candor," Marlene comments.

 **I stand statue-still, unable to believe that he could be so stupid. My face burning. Little girl, he called me. A little girl who is stressed out to the point of paranoia. That is not me, but now, it's who the Candor think I am.**

" _ **You**_ **don't make our decisions for us, Kang," says Tobias.**

 **All around me, the Dauntless shout their assent. Someone else yells, "You are not the leader of our faction!"**

"Yeah!" shouts go out around the room.

 **Jack waits for their shouts to die down and then says, "That is true. If you want to, you can feel free to storm the Erudite compound by yourselves. But you will do so without our support, and may I remind you, you are greatly outnumbered and unprepared."**

"How would Candor help us anyway?" Lynn asks. "They don't know how to fight, or shoot."

 **He's right. We can't attack Dauntless traitors and Erudite without Candor's numbers. It would be a bloodbath if we tried. Jack Kang has all the power. And now we all know it.**

" **I thought so," he says smugly. "Very well. I will contact Jeanine Matthews, and see if we can negotiate a peace. Any objections?"**

 **We can't attack without Candor, I think, unless we have the factionless.**

"This is bullshit," Uriah cries out. "How is Candor going to negotiate anything? Jack is only looking out for himself."

"That was the end of the chapter. So I guess we will have to wait and see how it plays out," Will says.

At least we know that we can't count on anyone but ourselves. Candor and Amity are useless. I hope we don't use the factionless. I don't trust that Evelyn will want to do anything out of the niceness of her heart. If we can't stop this before it starts then we are truly screwed.


	20. Chapter 20

CHAPTER TWENTY

FOUR'S POV

"Let's hope this chapter is more interesting," Christina remarks.

"I think we learnt a lot from last chapter," I say. "At least now we know what Jack Kang is really like."

 **CHAPTER NINETEEN**

 **That afternoon I join a group of Candor and Dauntless cleaning up the broken windows in the lobby. I focus on the path of the broom, keeping my eyes on the dust that collects between glass fragments. My muscles remember the movement before the rest of me does, but when I look down, instead of dark marble I see plain white tile and the bottom of a light gray wall; I see strands of blond hair that my mother trimmed, and the mirror safely tucked behind its wall panel.**

 **My body goes weak, and I lean into the broom handle for support.**

"Grief can hit you at the worst time," Tori softly says.

"Yeah," I say. Tris just rubs her thumb over my knuckles.

 **A hand touches my shoulder, and I twitch away from it. But it's just a Candor girl—a child. She looks up at me, wide- eyed.**

" **Are you all right?" she says, her voice high and indistinct.**

" **I'm fine," I say. Too sharply. I hurry to amend it. "Just tired. Thank you."**

" **I think you're lying," she says.**

"Candor kids are annoying," Lynn grumbles.

 **I notice a bandage peeking out from the end of her sleeve, probably covering the needle puncture. The idea of this little girl under a simulation nauseates me. I can't even look at her. I turn away.**

"How can Jeanine justify using children like this?" Tori asks. "You must be so proud of yourselves." She points between Eric and Max.

 **And I see them: outside, a traitor Dauntless man, propping up a woman with a bleeding leg. I see the gray streaks in the woman's hair and the end of the man's hooked nose and the blue armband of a Dauntless traitor just beneath their shoulders, and recognize them both. Tori and Zeke.**

"What were you saying bro?" Uriah laughs at Zeke.

"Don't laugh," Zeke says. "At least we will learn the truth now."

"What? That you're a traitor?" Shauna scoffs.

"Really Shauna? You want to go down that path right now?" Zeke asks. I can hear the venom in his voice. I've never heard him speak like this before. I don't like what this is doing to him.

There is an awkward feeling in the air. Will quickly scans the room and then starts to read again.

 **Tori is trying to walk, but one of her legs drags behind her, useless. A wet, dark patch covers most of her thigh.**

 **The Candor stop sweeping and stare at them. The Dauntless guards standing near the elevators rush toward the entrance with their guns lifted. My fellow sweepers back up to get out of the way, but I stay where I am, heat rushing through me as Zeke and Tori approach.**

" **Are they even armed?" someone says.**

 **Tori and Zeke reach what used to be the doors, and he puts up one of his hands when he sees the row of Dauntless with guns. The other he keeps wrapped around Tori's waist.**

" **She needs medical attention," says Zeke. "Right now."**

" **Why should we give a traitor medical attention?" a Dauntless man with wispy blond hair and a double-pierced lip asks over his gun. A patch of blue dye marks his forearm.**

 **Tori moans, and I slip between two Dauntless to reach for her. She puts her hand, which is sticky with blood, in mine. Zeke lowers her to the ground with a grunt.**

"Did I get shot?" Tori asks.

"Looks like it," I say.

" **Tris," she says, sounding dazed.**

" **Better step back, girl," the blond Dauntless man says.**

" **No," I say. "Put your gun down."**

"Thanks Tris," Tori says.

Tris just gives Tori a small smile.

" **Told you the Divergent were crazy," one of the other armed Dauntless mutters to the woman next to him.**

" **I don't care if you bring her upstairs and tie her to a bed to keep her from going on a shooting spree!" says Zeke, scowling. "Don't let her bleed to death in the lobby of Candor headquarters!"**

"You tell them Zeke," Tori cheers. "I really don't want to die in Candor."

 **Finally, a few Dauntless come forward and lift Tori up.**

" **Where should we ... take her?" one of them asks.**

" **Find Helena," Zeke says. "Dauntless nurse."**

 **The men nod and carry her toward the elevators. Zeke and I meet eyes.**

" **What happened?" I ask him.**

" **The traitor Dauntless found out we were collecting information from them," he says. "Tori tried to get away, but they shot her as she was running. I helped her get here."**

"Haha," Zeke stands shouting arms in the air. "I told you. I told you and I told you," Zeke shouts pointing to Uriah, Lynn and then Shauna. "I'm not a traitor, I'm not a traitor, I'm not a traitor," Zeke shouts as he gets up and runs around the room.

"Depends which way you look at it," Eric teases.

"Shut up," Zeke tells Eric. "At least I'm not stuck somewhere trying to recover from Tris almost gutting me."

Zeke finishes his run around the room. He only did three laps of the lounge room and then quickly sits back down.

" **That's a nice story," says the blond Dauntless man. "Want to tell it again under truth serum?"**

 **Zeke shrugs. "All right." He puts his wrists together in front of him dramatically. "Haul me away, if you're so desperate to."**

"Only you Zeke," I say with a chuckle and the shake of my head.

"Well they provoked me," Zeke says with a grin.

 **Then his eyes focus on something over my shoulder, and he starts walking. I turn to see Uriah jogging from the elevator bank. He is grinning.**

" **Heard a rumor you were a dirty traitor," Uriah says.**

" **Yeah, whatever," says Zeke.**

 **They collide in an embrace that looks almost painful to me, slapping each other's backs and laughing with their fists clasped between them.**

"That's a page break," Will says.

" **I can't believe you didn't tell us," says Lynn, shaking her head. She sits across from me at the table, her arms crossed and one of her legs propped up.**

" **Oh, don't get all huffy about it," says Zeke. "I wasn't even supposed to tell Shauna and Uriah. And it sort of defeats the purpose of being a spy if you tell everyone that's what you are."**

Lynn looks over at Zeke who is smiling at her. "Don't say a word Zeke," Lynn tells him. "I don't want to hear it."

"Oh Lynn," Zeke laughs. "You're just jealous that I got to do the spying shit and you didn't."

"Maybe," Lynn says under her breath.

 **We sit in a room in Candor headquarters called the Gathering Place, which the Dauntless have taken to saying in a mocking way whenever they can. It is large and open, with black-and-white cloth draped on every wall, and a circle of podiums in the center of the room. Large round tables surround the podiums. Lynn told me they host monthly debates here, for entertainment, and also hold religious services here once a week. But even when no events are scheduled, the room is usually full.**

"How do you find this stuff out?" Uriah asks Lynn.

"It's in your Faction History textbook," Lynn replies dryly.

"Did we have a text book?" Uriah asks Marlene.

Marlene just nods her head. "Oh," Uriah says.

"How did you not know you had a text book?" Tris asks.

"Have you ever tried to carry a textbook on a train?" Uriah asks. "Not worth the hassle. At the start of the year when they gave the text books for each class out, I shoved them in my locker and that is where they stayed. When it came to end of year and we had to hand back the text books I would just give them my locker combination and told them to get it themselves."

"And they accepted that?" Tris asks.

"Yeah. I was probably the only Dauntless that gave them their textbooks back in good condition," Uriah says.

"You are probably the only Dauntless who gave them the text book back period," Zeke says.

 **Zeke was cleared by the Candor an hour ago, in a short interrogation on the eighteenth floor. It was not as somber an occasion as Tobias's and my interrogation, partly because there was no suspicious video footage implicating Zeke, and partly because Zeke is funny even when under truth serum. Maybe especially so. In any case, we came to the Gathering Place "for a 'Hey, you're not a dirty traitor!' celebration," as Uriah put it.**

"Why couldn't you have given us more detail Tris?" Zeke asks.

"Probably because she knew your head was big enough," Uriah teases.

"I can't believe I got given truth serum," Zeke says.

"Probably safer than if they'd given you peace serum," Eric says.

"I swear when we get out of this I am going to Amity and demand that they shoot me up with that shit," Zeke says.

"Why is this so important to you?" I ask.

"I don't know. I just want to know if it is better than getting drunk," Zeke replies.

"Probably tastes better," Lynn comments.

" **Yeah, but we've been insulting you since the simulation attack," Lynn says. "And now I feel like a jerk about it."**

 **Zeke puts his arm around Shauna. "You are a jerk, Lynn. It's part of your charm."**

"Screw you Zeke," Lynn grumbles.

"Yeah, yeah," Zeke says with a laugh.

The room has definitely lifted a bit since we found out that Zeke wasn't a traitor.

 **Lynn launches a plastic cup at him, which he deflects. Water sprays over the table, hitting him in the eye.**

" **Anyway, as I was saying," says Zeke, rubbing his eye, "I was mostly working on getting Erudite defectors out safely. That's why there's a big group of them here, and a small group at Amity headquarters. But Tori ... I have no idea what she was doing. She kept sneaking away for hours at a time, and whenever she was around, it was like she was about to explode. It's no wonder she gave us away."**

" **How'd** _ **you**_ **get the job?" says Lynn. "You're not that special."**

"Always there for the compliments," Zeke teases.

"You better believe it," Lynn says with a smile.

It is taking some time to get used to seeing Lynn smiling so much. If Eric hurts her I will kill him. Very, very slowly.

" **It was more because of where I was after the simulation attack. Smack-dab in a pack of Dauntless traitors. I decided to go with it," he says. "Not sure about Tori, though."**

" **She transferred from Erudite," I say.**

 **What I don't say, because I'm sure she wouldn't want everyone to know, is that Tori probably seemed explosive in Erudite headquarters because they murdered her brother for being Divergent.**

 **She told me once that she was waiting for an opportunity to get revenge.**

" **Oh," says Zeke. "How do you know that?"**

" **Well, all the faction transfers have a secret club," I say, leaning back in my chair. "We meet every third Thursday."**

 **Zeke snorts.**

"Look at Tris being all funny," Zeke teases. "Who knew?"

Tris sticks her tongue out at Zeke who just laughs.

" **Where's Four?" says Uriah, checking his watch. "Should we start without him?"**

" **We can't," says Zeke. "He's getting The Info."**

 **Uriah nods like that means something. Then he pauses and says, "What info, again?"**

"Good on you Uriah," Marlene says and we all start to laugh.

The mood in the room is getting lighter as the chapter goes on. I'm sure that means that trouble is ahead.

"Are you okay?" Tris whispers.

"Yeah," I say. Not wanting to worry her. But I can see that she doesn't believe me.

"It's just everyone seems happier this afternoon. It makes me think something bad is about to happen in the book," I say.

"Well we can't change it," Tris says.

"I hope we can," I say.

"That wasn't what I meant," Tris says.

"I know."

" **The info about Kang's little peacemaking meeting with Jeanine," says Zeke. "Obviously."**

 **Across the room, I see Christina sitting at a table with her sister. They are both reading something.**

"Faction before blood means nothing to you?" Eric asks Christina.

"Like you care," Christina barks. "You are the biggest faction traitor there is here."

No one responds and Will quickly starts to read the book again. This could turn into an all out screaming match between Eric and Christina if we aren't careful.

 **My entire body tenses. Cara, Will's older sister, is walking across the room toward Christina's table. I duck my head.**

" **What?" Uriah says, looking over his shoulder. I want to punch him.**

" **Stop it!" I say. "Could you be any more obvious?" I lean forward, folding my arms on the table. "Will's sister is over there."**

" **Yeah, I talked to her about getting out of Erudite once, while I was there," says Zeke. "Said she saw an Abnegation woman get killed while she was on a mission for Jeanine and couldn't stomach it anymore."**

" **Are we sure she's not just an Erudite spy?" Lynn says.**

" **Lynn, she saved half our faction from this stuff," says Marlene, tapping the bandage on her arm from where the Dauntless traitors shot her. "Well, half of half of our faction."**

" **In some circles they call that a quarter, Mar," Lynn says.**

"Always the smarty pants," Uriah teases.

" **Anyway, who cares if she is a traitor?" Zeke says. "We're not planning anything that she can inform them about. And we certainly wouldn't include her if we were."**

" **There is plenty of information for her to gather here," Lynn says. "How many of us there are, for example, or how many of us aren't wired for simulations."**

" **You didn't see her when she was telling me why she left," says Zeke. "I believe her."**

 **Cara and Christina have gotten up, and are walking out of the room.**

" **I'll be right back," I say. "I have to go to the bathroom."**

"Eaves dropping Tris," Lynn says. "You have a habit of doing that."

"What?" Tris asks.

"Did you forget Amity? Or even in Dauntless before you were attacked, you heard Eric and Jeanine," Lynn says.

"How do you remember all that?" Uriah asks.

"I pay attention," Lynn replies

 **I wait until Cara and Christina have gone through the doors, then half walk, half jog in that direction. I open one of the doors slowly, so it doesn't make any noise, and then close it slowly behind me. I am in a dim hallway that smells like garbage—this must be where the Candor trash chute is.**

 **I hear two female voices around the corner and creep toward the end of the hallway to hear better.**

" **... just can't handle her being here," one of them sobs. Christina. "I can't stop picturing it ... what she did... I don't understand how she could have done that!"**

 **Christina's sobs make me feel like I am about to crack open. Cara takes her time responding.**

" **Well, I do," she says.**

" **What?" Christina says with a hiccup.**

" **You have to understand; we're trained to see things as logically as possible," says Cara. "So don't think that I'm callous. But that girl was probably scared out of her mind, certainly not capable of assessing situations cleverly at the time, if she was ever able to do so."**

"Cara is a bitch," Marlene says.

"Typical Erudite," Tori comments.

 **My eyes fly open.** _ **What a**_ **—I run through a short list of insults in my mind before listening to her continue.**

" **And the simulation made her incapable of reasoning with him, so when he threatened her life, she reacted as she had been trained by the Dauntless to react: Shoot to kill."**

" **So what are you saying?" says Christina bitterly. "We should just forget about it, because it makes perfect sense?"**

" **Of course not," says Cara. Her voice wobbles, just a little, and she repeats herself, quietly this time. "Of** _ **course**_ **not."**

 **She clears her throat. "It's just that you have to be around her, and I want to make it easier for you. You don't have to forgive her. Actually, I'm not sure why you were friends with her in the first place; she always seemed a bit erratic to me."**

"Can someone just shut her up," Lynn says. "Seriously, she is so up herself."

 **I tense up as I wait for Christina to agree with her, but to my surprise—and relief—she doesn't.**

"That must be a first," Marlene says.

"What do you mean by that?" Christina asks.

"Well, you were always putting her down when you were in Dauntless. Happy to tease her because she hadn't experienced the things you had. I would have thought you would have been happy to stand there and bitch about Tris," Marlene says.

 **Cara continues. "Anyway. You don't have to forgive her, but you should try to understand that what she did was not out of malice; it was out of panic. That way, you can look at her without wanting to punch her in her exceptionally long nose."**

 **My hand moves automatically to my nose. Christina laughs a little, which feels like a hard poke to the stomach. I back up through the door to the Gathering Place.**

"And there's the Christina we know," Marlene says. "You keep quiet when you could defend her and then laugh when someone tries to make fun of her appearance. You're a great friend."

"You have no idea what type of friend I am," Christina defends.

"I think we do," Lynn steps into the argument. "We have witnessed it all through the book. Tris would never say anything to us because she isn't like that. She is too forgiving for her own good and I think you take advantage of that."

"Stop," Tris says. "Can we not keep this up. There is enough horrible things happening in the book without turning on each other."

"See," Lynn says. "Too forgiving."

 **Even though Cara was rude—and the nose comment was a low blow—I am grateful for what she said.**

"Page break," Will says.

 **Tobias emerges from a door hidden behind a length of white cloth. He flicks the cloth out of the way irritably before coming toward us and sitting beside me at the table in the Gathering Place.**

"Cranky Four is in the building," Zeke laughs.

I just stare him down, which makes him laugh more. So I throw a pillow at his head.

" **Kang is going to meet with a representative of Jeanine Matthews at seven in the morning," he says.**

" **A representative?" Zeke says. "She's not going herself?"**

" **Yeah, and stand out in the open where a bunch of angry people with guns can take aim?" Uriah smirks a little. "I'd like to see her try. No, really, I would."**

"I hope we go," Lynn says.

"Me too," Uriah agrees.

" **Is Kang the Brilliant taking a Dauntless escort, at least?" Lynn says.**

" **Yes," Tobias says. "Some of the older members volunteered. Bud said he would keep his ears open and report back."**

 **I frown at him. How does he know all this information? And why, after two years of avoiding becoming a Dauntless leader at all costs, is he suddenly acting like one?**

"Stop the negative thoughts Tris," Zeke warns but with a smile.

"He seems to be making it hard for me not to," Tris replies.

"Still, it won't help anyone if you do," Zeke says.

"Thanks Zeke, I will try and keep that in mind," Tris bites back. At least she is smiling as she said it.

" **So I guess the real question is," says Zeke, folding his hands on the table, "if you were Erudite, what would** _ **you**_ **say at this meeting?"**

 **They all look at me. Expectantly.**

" **What?" I say.**

" **You're Divergent," Zeke replies.**

" **So is Tobias."**

" **Yeah, but he doesn't have aptitude for Erudite."**

" **And how do you know I do?"**

 **Zeke lifts his shoulder. "Seems likely. Doesn't it seem likely?"**

"Didn't think you were that smart Zeke," Uriah teases.

"Shut up," Zeke whines.

 **Uriah and Lynn nod. Tobias's mouth twitches, as if in a smile, but if that's what it was, he suppresses it. I feel like a stone just dropped into my stomach.**

"You are back to the before Tris Four," Shauna says.

"Excuse me?" I ask, disgusted.

"Well the first person to get your mouth to twitch was Tris. Now you have been arguing you have reverted back to how you were before she got to Dauntless," Shauna explains.

"Then tell me Shauna, how should I be acting?" I ask sarcastically.

"Don't take that tone with me," Shauna snaps.

"Fuck you," I say. I know she is right but the way she is treating Zeke and anyone who is Divergent is pissing me off.

"Calm down," Eric says.

"You want to get in the middle of this?" I ask him.

"Just back off and calm down," Eric says. "This isn't worth everyone fighting about. Let's just see what happens."

I know Eric is right and that he is only trying to calm everything down. But I hate where Tris and I are in the book. I hate to think that this could happen. It would be happening if we weren't stuck here. This is going to do my head in.

"Just read Will," I say.

" **You all have functional brains, last time I checked," I say. "You can think like the Erudite, too."**

" **But we don't have special** _ **Divergent**_ **brains!" says Marlene. She touches her fingertips to my scalp and squeezes lightly. "Come on, do your magic."**

"Oooh," Marlene coos and wiggles her fingers towards Tris.

This makes Tris laugh.

" **There's no such thing as Divergent magic, Mar," says Lynn.**

" **And if there is, we shouldn't be consulting it," says Shauna. It's the first thing she's said since we sat down. She doesn't even look at me when she says it; she just scowls at her younger sister. "Shauna—" Zeke starts.**

" **Don't '** _ **Shauna'**_ **me!" she says, focusing her scowl on him instead. "Don't you think someone with the aptitude for multiple factions might have a loyalty problem? If she's got aptitude for Erudite, how can we be sure she's not** _ **working**_ **for Erudite?"**

" **Don't be ridiculous," says Tobias, his voice low.**

" **I am not being ridiculous." She smacks the table. "I know I belong in Dauntless because everything I did in that aptitude test told me so. I'm loyal to my faction for that reason—because there's nowhere else I could possibly be. But her? And you?" She shakes her head. "I have no idea who you're loyal to. And I'm not going to pretend like everything's okay."**

"And there we have it," Zeke says. "Shauna's true nature has come out, again."

"Screw you Zeke," Shauna snaps.

"No thanks, been there," Zeke says. "Don't need to hit that again."

"You bastard," Shauna screams and launches herself at Zeke.

Eric grabs Shauna around the waist and pulls her back from Zeke before she can do any harm. Zeke is laughing at her and Shauna is screaming profanities at Eric. Eric just picks her up and walks her out of the room.

As soon as she is gone Zeke hangs his head. "Shit," he says. "I didn't mean that."

"You idiot," Lynn says. "I'm going to make sure she is okay."

Uriah goes and sits next to Zeke.

"Let's take a quick break," Max says. He gets up and walks out of the room with Christina and Will following.

"This is getting bad," Tori says. "We should be banding together, not pushing each other away."

"Easier said than done," I tell Tori.

"I know," Tori admits.

"How the hell are we going to get out of this alive?" Uriah asks.

"We might not," I say.

"No!" Tris states. "No, you don't get to say that. We are going to get through this. We have to get through this."

"But who do we trust?" Marlene asks.

"Christina and Will seem to be following Max around. Shauna is off on her own tangent. I don't know," Tori says.

"We need to agree, right now," Zeke says. "That no matter what happens we are going to fight this. We are not going to let this happen."

"Of course," Uriah says. "We are in this together."

Tori and Tris are both nodding their heads.

"Let's just see how this all plays out for a while. We still have another book to get through after this. Maybe Shauna will calm down and come back to us," I say.

"Not likely," Zeke says. "No matter what, I'm done."

"Don't say that," I say. "Zeke you still love her, I know you do. Just give her some time. This is overwhelming for all of us."

"Yeah and look at you and Tris or Uri and Mar. You four have all gotten closer. Shauna and I should be stronger than this."

"Bro, don't give up on her yet," Uriah says. "Four is right, just give her some time."

Lynn walks back into the room muttering under her breath. She looks up and sees we are all staring at her. "They should be back in here in a minute," she says.

"Is Shauna alright?" I ask.

"No," Lynn says. "But it's her own fault. She'll calm down."

"What have you two been up too?" Uriah asks as Christina and Will enter the room all smiles.

"Why?" Will asks.

"Look at Christina's hair," Marlene points at Christina. "You have make out hair."

"What?" Christina squeals and runs to the bathroom.

The room erupts into laughter just as Max is entering the room.

"What's so funny?" Max asks.

"Christina's reaction to her hair," Lynn laughs.

Christina walks back in and quickly sits down next to will, she looks completely embarrassed.

We all sit silently for a few minutes when Eric walks in with Shauna following. Just before he sits he turns to Shauna and hisses, "just behave."

"Start reading Will," Eric demands.

 **She gets up, and when Zeke reaches for her, she throws his hand aside, marching toward one of the doors. I watch her until the door closes behind her and the black fabric that hangs in front of it settles.**

 **I feel wound up, like I might scream, only Shauna isn't here for me to scream at.**

" **It's not magic," I say hotly. "You just have to ask yourself what the most logical response to a particular situation is."**

 **I am greeted with blank stares.**

Eric starts to laugh.

"What are you laughing at?" Tris asks.

"Look," Eric says as he points around the room. "The exact blank stares that they would be looking at you with in the book. Unbelievable."

" **Seriously," I say. "If I were in this situation, staring at a group of Dauntless guards and Jack Kang, I probably wouldn't resort to violence, right?"**

" **Well, you might, if you had your own Dauntless guards. And then all it takes is one shot—bam, he's dead, and Erudite's better off," says Zeke.**

"There you go Zeke," Tris teases. "You can think logically."

" **Whoever they send to talk to Jack Kang isn't going to be some random Erudite kid; it's going to be someone important," I say. "It would be a stupid move to fire on Jack Kang and risk losing whoever they send as Jeanine's representative."**

" **See? This is why we need you to analyze the situation," Zeke says. "If it was me, I would kill him; it would be worth the risk."**

 **I pinch the bridge of my nose. I already have a headache. "Fine."**

 **I try to put myself in Jeanine Matthews's place. I already know she won't negotiate with Jack Kang. Why would she need to? He has nothing to offer her. She will use the situation to her advantage.**

" **I think," I say, "that Jeanine Matthews will manipulate him. And that he will do anything to protect his faction, even if it means sacrificing the Divergent." I pause for a moment, remembering how he held his faction's influence over our heads at the meeting. "Or sacrificing the Dauntless. So we** _ **need**_ **to hear what they say in that meeting."**

 **Uriah and Zeke exchange a look. Lynn smiles, but it isn't her usual smile. It doesn't spread to her eyes, which look more like gold than ever, with that coldness in them.**

" **So let's listen in," she says.**

"Now it's getting exciting," Lynn exclaims.

"Actually it's the end of the chapter," Will tells us.

"Keep reading," Uriah says bouncing in his seat. "Please," he whines.

"Does everyone want to keep reading?" Will asks.

"Yes," is called out by most.

"Does anyone not want to read until after dinner?" Will asks.

He is met with silence.


	21. Chapter 21

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

FOUR'S POV

 **CHAPTER TWENTY**

 **I check my watch. It is seven o'clock in the evening. Just twelve hours until we can hear what Jeanine has to say to Jack Kang. I have checked my watch at least a dozen times in the past hour, as if that will make the time go faster. I am itching to do something —anything except sit in the cafeteria with Lynn, Tobias, and Lauren, picking at my dinner and sneaking looks at Christina, who sits with her Candor family at one of the other tables.**

"That must be uncomfortable," Lynn says. "Tris just lost her parents and there Christina is sitting with her family. Doesn't seem fair really."

"I lost my boyfriend," Christina defends.

"And you are making a way bigger deal over it than Tris is," Lynn says.

"Don't," Tris says. "Loss is loss, it doesn't matter who it is. You still hurt. Let it go Lynn."

"Fine," Lynn grumbles.

" **I wonder if we'll be able to return to the old way after all this is over," says Lauren. She and Tobias have been talking about Dauntless initiate training methods for at least five minutes already. It's probably the only thing they have in common.**

"Lauren is probably one of the only girls that Four actually talks to," Zeke says.

"Really?" Tris asks.

"We have only ever been friends," I try and reassure Tris.

"Not for lack of trying," Eric chuckles.

"What?" Tris asks.

"Lauren has been crushing on Four for years, he is just to blind to see it."

"No she wasn't," I say.

"Just drop it Eric," Zeke says with a shake of his head. "He is clueless."

" **If there's a faction left after all this is over," Lynn says, piling her mashed potatoes onto a roll.**

" **Don't tell me you're going to eat a mashed-potato sandwich," I say to her.**

" **So what if I am?"**

"Yum," Uriah says. "If you put sauce on it, it is even yummier." Uriah starts to rub his stomach like a little kid.

"We can have that for dinner if you want?" Eric says.

"That would be awesome," Lynn says.

"Do we all have to eat that?" Tris asks.

"Why don't you like it?" Uriah asks.

"I don't know. I've never had it. It just doesn't sound that appealing," Tris says.

"Coming from the girl who grew up in Abnegation," Eric states.

"You have to at least try it," Uriah says.

"Fine, I will try it," Tris says.

"If you don't like it I will make you something else," Eric says.

"So we are just going to have potato sandwiches for dinner?" Christina asks.

"Do you want to cook?" Eric asks

"No," Christina scoffs.

"Then eat it or starve," Eric says.

"But you are going to cook Tris something else," Christina whines.

"At least she is willing to try it. Plus it's not like we have that great a range of food to choose from anyway," Eric says.

"You've been doing a great job," Lynn tells Eric.

"Thank you Lynn," Eric says with a slight smile. Oh! God I think I want to puke right now.

 **A group of Dauntless walk between our table and the one next to us. They are older than Tobias, but not by much. One of the girls has five different colors in her hair, and her arms are covered with tattoos so that I can't see even an inch of bare skin. One of the boys leans close to Tobias, whose back is to them, and whispers, "Coward," as he passes.**

"Asshole," Lynn yells.

 **A few of the others do the same thing, hissing "coward" into Tobias's ears and then continuing on their way. He pauses with his knife against a piece of bread, a glob of butter waiting to be spread, and stares at the table.**

 **I wait, tense, for him to explode.**

" **What idiots," says Lauren. "And the Candor, for making you spill your life story for everyone to see ... they're idiots too."**

 **Tobias doesn't answer. He puts down his knife and the piece of bread, and pushes back from the table. His eyes lift and focus on something across the room.**

" **This needs to stop," he says distantly, and starts toward whatever it is he's looking at before I figure out what it is. This can't be good.**

"I would hate to be whoever Four is going after," Zeke comments.

"I can't believe they had the guts to make those comments," Uriah says.

"They should be respecting him for being able to get out," Tori says. "There are a lot of people who wouldn't be able to do that."

"Or they become the monster," I say.

"You aren't like him," Tris tells me.

"Are you sure? What if I end up like that?" I say.

"That won't happen," Tris says. "I wouldn't let it. You are better than that."

"But—" I say

"No, Tobias," Tris says. "You couldn't even if you wanted too. It's not who you are. You are stronger than you think."

"Because of you," I whisper.

"No, because of you," Tris says back. "You don't want to be like that. Yes you are stubborn and can have a short fuse but you wouldn't intentionally do what he did to you."

"I love you," I whisper in her ear.

 **He slips between the tables and the people like he's more liquid than solid, and I stumble after him, muttering apologies as I push people aside.**

"Always so clumsy," Uriah laughs.

 **And then I see exactly who Tobias is headed toward. Marcus. He is sitting with a few of the older Candor.**

 **Tobias reaches him and grabs him by the back of the neck, wrestling him from his seat. Marcus opens his mouth to say something, and that is a mistake, because Tobias punches him hard in the teeth. Someone shouts, but no one rushes to Marcus's aid. We are in a room full of Dauntless, after all.**

"Oh yeah!" Zeke shouts. I feel sick.

 **Tobias shoves Marcus toward the middle of the room, where there is a space between the tables to reveal the symbol of Candor. Marcus stumbles over one of the scales, his hands covering his face so I can't see the damage Tobias did.**

 **Tobias shoves Marcus to the ground and presses the heel of his shoe to his father's throat. Marcus smacks at Tobias's leg, blood streaming past his lips, but even if he was at his strongest, he still wouldn't be as strong as his son. Tobias undoes his belt buckle and slides it from its loops.**

"Are you sure Tris?" I ask. She knows what I am talking about, I am acting just like Marcus.

"Don't Tobias," Tris says. "Do not judge yourself on what is happening in the book."

 **He lifts his foot from Marcus's throat and draws the belt back.**

" **This is for your own good," he says.**

 **That, I remember, is what Marcus, and his many manifestations, always says to Tobias in his fear landscape.**

 **Then the belt flies through the air and hits Marcus in the arm. Marcus's face is bright red, and he covers his head as the next blow falls, this one hitting his back. All around me is laughter, coming from the Dauntless tables, but I am not laughing, I cannot possibly laugh at this.**

 **Finally I come to my senses. I run forward and grab Tobias's shoulder.**

" **Stop!" I say. "Tobias, stop** _ **right now**_ **!"**

 **I expect to see a wild look in his eyes, but when he looks at me, I do not. His face is not flushed and his breaths are steady. This was not an act performed in the heat of passion.**

 **It was a calculated act.**

"See," Tris says nudging me. "I don't like how you did this but you didn't do it through rage or anger. You did it to prove a point."

"Stupid point to prove," I say.

"Maybe," she says. "But you needed to do it."

 **He drops the belt and reaches into his pocket. From it he takes a silver chain with a ring dangling from it. Marcus is on his side, gasping. Tobias drops the ring onto the ground next to his father's face. It is made of tarnished, dull metal, an Abnegation wedding band.**

" **My mother," says Tobias, "says hello."**

"Go Four! Go Four! Go Four!" Zeke cheers.

"Zeke," I warn.

"Don't be so hard on yourself," Zeke says. "It's not like he didn't deserve it."

 _Doesn't mean I like hearing it._

 **Tobias walks away, and it takes a few seconds for me to breathe again. When I do, I leave Marcus cringing on the floor and run after him. It takes me until I reach the hallway to catch up to him.**

" **What was that?" I demand.**

 **Tobias presses the DOWN button for the elevator and doesn't look at me.**

" **It was necessary," he says.**

" **Necessary for what?" I say.**

" **What, you're feeling sorry for** _ **him**_ **now?" Tobias says, turning toward me with a scowl. "Do you know how many times he did that to me? How do you think I learned the moves?"**

"This is not good," Marlene says.

 **I feel brittle, like I might break. It did seem rehearsed, like Tobias had gone over the steps in his mind, recited the words in front of a mirror. He knew it by heart; he was just playing the other part this time.**

" **No," I say quietly. "No, I don't feel sorry for him, not at all."**

" **Then what, Tris?" His voice is rough; it could be the thing that breaks me. "You haven't cared about what I do or say for the past week; what's so different about this?"**

"Shit! The book hasn't really shown us how bad it is between you two," Zeke says.

 **I am almost afraid of him. I don't know what to say or do around the erratic part of him, and it is here, bubbling just beneath the surface of what he does, just like the cruel part of me. We both have war inside of us. Sometimes it keeps us alive. Sometimes it threatens to destroy us.**

" **Nothing," I say.**

 **The elevator beeps as it arrives. He gets on, and presses the CLOSE button so the doors shut between us. I stare at the brushed metal and try to think through the last ten minutes.**

" **This needs to stop," he said. "This" was the ridicule, which was a result of the interrogation, where he admitted that he joined Dauntless to escape his father. And then he beat up Marcus—publicly, where all the Dauntless could see it.**

 **Why? To salvage his pride? It can't be. It was far too intentional for that.**

"You did it so they will elect you leader," Eric says.

"I hope not," I say.

"Page break," Will says.

 **On my way back to the cafeteria, I see a Candor man walk Marcus toward the bathroom. He walks slowly, but he isn't hunched over, which makes me think Tobias didn't do him any serious damage. I watch the door close behind him.**

 **I had all but forgotten about what I heard in the Amity compound, about the information my father risked his life for.** _ **Supposedly**_ **, I remind myself. It may not be wise to trust Marcus. And I promised myself I wouldn't ask him about this again.**

"You just can't help yourself," Eric says shaking his head.

"Wouldn't you want to know?" Tris asks.

"Yes," Eric says.

 **I dawdle outside the bathroom until the Candor man walks out, and then walk in before the door has a chance to shut properly. Marcus is sitting on the floor by the sink with a wad of paper towel pressed to his mouth. He doesn't look happy to see me.**

" **What, here to gloat?" he says. "Get out."**

" **No," I say.**

 **Why am I here, exactly?**

Zeke and Uriah start giggling like school girls. We are all looking at them when Zeke says, "Tris is in the men's bathroom. I never thought I would see that."

"Hopefully you never will," Tris mumbles.

 **He looks at me expectantly. "Well?"**

" **I thought you could use a reminder," I say. "Whatever it is you want to get from Jeanine, you won't be able to do it alone, and you won't be able to do it with only the Abnegation to help you."**

" **I thought we went over this." His voice is muffled by the paper towels. "The idea that** _ **you**_ **could help—"**

" **I don't know where you get this delusion that I'm useless, but that's what it is," I snap. "And I'm not interested in hearing about it. All I want to say is that when you stop being delusional and start feeling desperate because you're too inept to figure this out on your own, you know who to come to."**

"Well Marcus just got a double slap, first Four now Tris," Eric laughs.

 **I leave the bathroom just as the Candor man comes back with an ice pack.**

"That's it," Will says closing the book. "Let's get these mashed potato sandwiches sorted."


	22. Chapter 22

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

FOUR'S POV

"Okay, I admit," Tris starts. "The sandwiches where nice."

"Just nice?" Uriah asks.

"Okay, I really like them," Tris admits blushing. Who knew someone could blush over potatoes.

"That's good," Eric says. "You can help wash up."

"Fine," Tris says as she gets up to start the clean-up.

"I'll help you," I say.

"Thanks," Tris replies with a smile.

"How are you feeling?" she asks as she starts to wash dishes.

"I don't know. I don't like what is happening in the book. I hate seeing us not get along, it makes me feel uncomfortable. I hate the show I put on with Marcus."

"It hasn't happened," Tris reminds me.

"But it could. That's what I don't like. I don't want us to end up like that," I confess.

"You won't," Eric says from behind me.

"What?"

"Your relationship is completely different to what it is in the book. It may have started in the same place but it's different now," Eric says.

"Why do you think that?" Tris asks.

"If you were the same then you two wouldn't be standing here all domestic. You would be as far apart as you could find. You are spending almost every second of everyday together. You know a lot more about each other being here, you have the time to get to know each other."

"But that doesn't mean we won't end up like that," I say.

"Please," Eric scoffs. "Stop with the pessimism. It's what you make it. Don't focus on what is happening in the book, it is here to tell us what we don't want to happen. Focus on what you can do."

"Thanks," Tris says.

Eric just nods and walks out. Who knew Eric could give such good advice.

Time to go and read another chapter.

 **CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE**

 **I stand before the sinks in the women's bathroom on the newly claimed Dauntless floor, a gun resting on my palm. Lynn put it there a few minutes ago; she seemed confused that I did not wrap my hand around it and put it somewhere, in a holster or under the waistband of my jeans. I just let it stay there, and walked to the bathroom before I started to panic.**

"You just left a gun laying around?" Eric asks.

"Looks like it," Tris responds.

"Anyone could pick it up," Eric states.

"And?" Tris asks.

"Do you not understand how dangerous that is?" Eric asks.

"The only people around are Dauntless. They know how to use them correctly. Unless you break free and come walking into the women's bathroom," Tris replies.

Uriah, Zeke and Lynn are all laughing.

The thought of Eric walking into the bathroom is funny.

"You can all laugh all you want. I hope you never get on _her_ bad side," Eric says with a small smirk on his face.

"Not now we won't," Zeke says. "If she can bring you down, twice. I would not want to see what she could do to the rest of us."

 _ **Don't be an idiot.**_ **I can't set out to do what I'm doing without a gun. It would be crazy. So I will have to solve this problem I've been having in the next five minutes.**

 **I curl my pinkie around the handle first, then my second finger, then the others. The weight is familiar. My index finger slips around the trigger. I release a breath.**

 **I start to lift it, bringing my left hand to meet my right to steady it. I hold the gun out from my body, my arms straight, just as Four taught me, when that was his only name. I used a gun like this to defend my father and brother from simulation-bound Dauntless. I used it to stop Eric from shooting Tobias in the head. It is not inherently evil. It is just a tool.**

 **I see a flicker of movement in the mirror, and before I can stop myself, I stare at my reflection.** _ **This is how I looked to him**_ **, I think.** _ **This is how I looked when I shot him**_ **.**

 **Moaning like a wounded animal, I let the gun fall from my hands and wrap my arms around my stomach. I want to sob because I know it will make me feel better, but I can't force the tears to come. I just crouch in the bathroom, staring at the white tiles. I can't do it. I can't take the gun with me.**

"You really need to get over this," Zeke says.

"Do you think you will have the problem now?" Max asks. "After reading about what you did?"

"No," Tris replies. The response is powerful, strong. There is no doubt.

Max just shrugs. Obviously, he was hoping that this would be her weakness. I am sure he will be filing everything away for when we are released and he can report back to Jeanine.

 **I shouldn't even go; I am still going to.**

"Stubborn," I murmur, just so Tris can hear me.

" **Tris?" Someone knocks. I stand and uncross my arms as the door squeaks open a few inches. Tobias steps into the room.**

" **Zeke and Uriah told me you were going to eavesdrop on Jack," he says.**

" **Oh."**

" **Are you?"**

" **Why should I tell you? You don't tell me about** _ **your**_ **plans."**

Zeke groans. "What?" he asks as we are all staring at him. "I hate the way they are acting towards each other, it freaks me out."

"It's not real," Tris reminds him.

"But it could be," Zeke replies.

"Then we will know to try harder," I say.

"You better," Zeke warns.

 **His straight eyebrows furrow. "What are you talking about?"**

" **I'm talking about beating Marcus to a pulp in front of all the Dauntless for no apparent reason." I step toward him. "But there is a reason, isn't there? Because it's not like you lost control; it's not like he did something to provoke you, so there has to be a reason!"**

" **I needed to prove to the Dauntless that I am not a coward," he says. "That's all. That's all it was."**

" **Why would you need to ..." I start.**

 **Why would Tobias need to prove himself to the Dauntless? Only if he wanted them to hold him in high regard. Only if he wants to become a Dauntless leader. I remember Evelyn's voice, speaking in the shadows in the factionless safe house: "What I am suggesting is that you** _ **become**_ **important."**

 **He wants the Dauntless to ally with the factionless, and he knows the only way he can make that happen is to do it himself.**

"She owns you," Eric says. "She has you so worked out."

 **Why he didn't feel the need to share this plan with me is another mystery entirely. Before I can ask, he says, "So are you going to eavesdrop or not?"**

" **What does it matter?"**

" **You're throwing yourself into danger for no reason again," he says. "Just like when you stormed up to fight the Erudite with only a ... a** _ **pocket knife**_ **to protect yourself."**

" **There is a reason. A good one. We won't know what's going on unless we eavesdrop, and we need to know what's going on."**

 **He crosses his arms. He is not bulky, the way some Dauntless boys are. And some girls might focus on the way his ears stick out, or the way his nose hooks at the end, but to me ...**

 **I swallow the rest of that thought. He's here to yell at me. He's been keeping things from me. Whatever we are now, I can't indulge thoughts about how attractive he is. It will just make it harder for me to do what needs to be done. And right now, that is going to listen to what Jack Kang has to say to the Erudite.**

"I don't know how you can just switch your feelings on and off like that," Christina comments.

"If I want to get things done then it is the only way I know how," Tris replies.

"It's a wonder you don't explode from everything that is bottled up in you," Christina says.

"Well maybe it is from years of practice. Not like I was able to blurt out whatever popped into my brain like you do," Tris snaps.

"I didn't mean it like that," Christina says.

"Well what did you mean?" Tris asks.

"I just think you would both be better off if you told each other things," Christina defends.

"It's not how we were raised Christina. It's not that easy to just change sixteen years of conditioning," Tris says. "I would rather be acting the way I am than to be honest to the point of cruel. We will work it out, I'm sure of it."

" **You're not cutting your hair like the Abnegation anymore," I say. "That because you want to look more Dauntless?"**

" **Don't change the subject," he says. "There are four people going to eavesdrop already. You don't need to be there."**

" **Why are you so insistent on me staying home?" My voice gets louder. "I am not the kind of person who just sits back and lets other people take all the risks!"**

" **As long as you are someone who doesn't seem to value her own life ... someone who can't even pick up and fire a gun ..." He leans toward me. "You should sit back and let other people take the risks."**

"He's right," Lynn says.

"I know," Tris replies.

"Then why are you doing it?" Zeke all but shouts.

"I don't know. It is easy to sit here and see what is right and wrong. What we are all doing in the book is not things we would be doing if the situation was normal. We are all going to make mistakes. It just seems mine are more on show," Tris says.

 **His quiet voice pulses around me like a second heartbeat. I hear the words "doesn't seem to value her own life" again and again.**

" **What are you going to do?" I say. "Lock me in the bathroom? Because that's the only way you'll be able to keep me from going."**

"As if that would stop you," Eric chuckles.

 **He touches his forehead and lets his hand drag down the side of his face. I have never seen his face sag that way before. "I don't want to stop you. I want you to stop yourself," he says. "But if you're going to be reckless, you can't prevent me from coming along."**

"You are going to get each other killed the way you are going," Zeke comments. "You are both so bloody stubborn."

"That's a page break," Will says.

 **It is still dark, but just barely, when we reach the bridge, which is two-tiered, with stone pillars at each corner. We descend the stairs next to one of the stone pillars and creep with silent feet at river level. Large puddles of standing water gleam as the light of day hits them. The sun is rising; we have to get into position.**

 **Uriah and Zeke are in the buildings on either side of the bridge so they can get a better view and cover us from a distance. They have better aim than Lynn or Shauna, who came because Lynn asked her to, despite her outburst in the Gathering Place.**

"I'm surprised that you would be there Shauna," Tori says.

"If Lynn asked me too then of course I would have gone," Shauna says.

 **Lynn goes first, her back pressed to the stone as she inches along the lower lip of the bridge supports. I follow her, with Shauna and Tobias behind me. The bridge is supported by four curved metal structures that secure it to the stone wall, and by a maze of narrow girders beneath its lower tier. Lynn wedges herself under one of the metal structures and climbs quickly, keeping the narrow girders beneath her as she works her way to the middle of the bridge.**

 **I let Shauna go in front of me because I can't climb as well. My left arm shakes as I try to balance on top of the metal structure. I feel Tobias's cool hand on my waist, steadying me.**

"You should have stayed in Candor," I whisper.

"I know," Tris says. "Do you think I did it just to piss you off?"

"Maybe. I don't think it would be intentionally. I got you riled up, so you're probably just trying to prove a point."

Tris moves to sit on my lap. If anything the fights in the book are making us closer here reading about it. Which makes part of me happy that we are fighting in the book but then the other part of me is conflicted at how we can so easily tear into each other.

 **I crouch low to fit in the space between the bottom of the bridge and the girders beneath me. I don't make it very far before I have to stop, my feet on one girder and my left arm on another. And I will have to stay that way for a long time.**

 **Tobias slides along one of the girders and puts his leg under me. It is long enough to stretch beneath me and onto a second girder. I breathe out and smile at him as a kind of thank-you. It's the first time we have acknowledged each other since we left the Merciless Mart.**

 **He smiles back, but grimly.**

"At least you are both smiling," Marlene says. She can always find the positive.

 **We bide our time in silence. I breathe through my mouth and try to control the shaking of my arms and legs. Shauna and Lynn seem to communicate without speaking. They make faces at each other that I can't read, and nod and smile at each other when they reach an understanding. I have never thought about what it would be like to have a sister. Would Caleb and I be closer if he were a girl?**

"What about if you were a boy?" Uriah asks.

"Don't think that," I groan.

"Why not?" Uriah asks. I raise my eyebrow at him. "Oh shit. Yeah, um no. Just forget I asked that."

"You're an idiot," Zeke throws a pillow at his brother.

 **The city is so quiet in the morning that the footsteps echo as they approach the bridge. The sound comes from behind me, which must mean it's Jack and his Dauntless escort, not the Erudite, who have arrived. The Dauntless know that we are here, though Jack Kang himself does not. If he stares down for more than a few seconds, he might see us through the metal mesh beneath his feet. I try to breathe as quietly as possible.**

"Jack would probably wet his pants if he saw you all there," Tori says.

 **Tobias checks his watch, and then holds his arm out to me to show me the time. Seven o'clock exactly.**

 **I glance up and peer through the steel web above me. Feet pass over my head. And then I hear him.**

" **Hello, Jack," he says.**

 **It's Max, who appointed Eric to Dauntless leadership at Jeanine's demand, who implemented policies of cruelty and brutality in Dauntless initiation. I have never spoken to him directly, but the sound of his voice makes me shiver.**

"Does it now?" Max asks.

"Not now, no," Tris replies.

"Oh," Max says, he looks disappointed.

" **Max," Jack says. "Where's Jeanine? I thought she would at least have the courtesy to show up herself."**

" **Jeanine and I divide our responsibilities according to our strengths," he says. "That means I make all military decisions. I believe that includes what we are doing today."**

 **I frown. I haven't heard Max speak much, but something about the words he's using, and their rhythm, sounds ... off.**

" **Fine," says Jack. "I came to—"**

" **I should inform you that this will not be a negotiation," Max says. "In order to negotiate, you have to be on even footing, and you, Jack, are not."**

" **What do you mean?"**

" **I mean that you are the only disposable faction. Candor does not provide us with protection, sustenance, or technological innovation. Therefore you are expendable to us. And you have not done much to win the favor of your Dauntless guests," says Max, "so you are completely vulnerable and completely useless. I recommend, therefore, that you do exactly as I say."**

"How would he know about what is going on in Candor?" Tori asks.

"Camera feeds?" I ask.

"Maybe," Tori replies. "I don't know, with so many people we don't know there, there could be an Erudite or Dauntless spy."

" **You piece of scum," says Jack through gritted teeth. "How** _ **dare**_ **—"**

" **Now let's not get testy," Max says.**

"Testy?" Zeke chuckles.

 **I chew on my lip. I should trust my instincts, and my instincts tell me that something is wrong here. No self-respecting Dauntless man would say the word "testy." Nor would he react so calmly to an insult. He's speaking like someone else. He's speaking like Jeanine.**

"Wow Zeke," I say. "You are starting to sound like Tris," I tease.

"Must be her Divergent mind tricks," Uriah guffaws.

 **The back of my neck prickles. It makes perfect sense. Jeanine would not trust anyone, particularly not a volatile Dauntless, to speak on her behalf. The best solution to that problem is to give Max an earpiece. And the signal from an earpiece can stretch only a quarter of a mile at most.**

 **I catch Tobias's eye, and slowly move my hand to point at my ear. Then I point above me, at my best approximation of where Max stands.**

 **Tobias frowns for a moment, then nods, but I'm not sure he understands me.**

" **I have three requirements," says Max. "First, that you return the Dauntless leader you currently hold in captivity unharmed. Second, that you allow your compound to be searched by our soldiers so that we can extract the Divergent; and third, that you provide us with the names of those who were not injected with the simulation serum."**

" **Why?" Jack says bitterly. "What are you searching for? And why do you need those names? What do you intend to do with them?"**

" **The purpose of our search would be to locate and remove any of the Divergent from the premises. And as for the names, that is none of your concern."**

" **None of my concern!" I hear footsteps squeak above me and stare up through the mesh. From what I can see, Jack has the collar of Max's shirt wrapped around his fist.**

"Who knew that Jack could grow a pair," Eric says.

" **Release me," says Max. "Or I will order my guards to fire."**

 **I frown. If Jeanine is speaking through Max, she had to be able to see him in order to know that he was grabbed. I lean forward to look at the buildings on the other side of the bridge. On my left, the river bends, and a squat glass building stands at the edge. That must be where she is.**

 **I start to climb backward, toward the metal structure that supports the bridge, toward the staircase that will lead me to Wacker Drive. Tobias follows me immediately, and Shauna taps Lynn on the shoulder. But Lynn is doing something else.**

"What are you doing Lynn?" Marlene asks.

"I have no idea," Lynn replies.

 **I was too busy thinking about Jeanine. I failed to notice that Lynn took out her gun and started to climb toward the edge of the bridge. Shauna's mouth opens and her eyes go wide as Lynn swings herself forward, grabbing the lip of the bridge, and shoves her arm over it. Her finger squeezes the trigger.**

 **Max gasps, his hand clapping over his chest, and stumbles back. When he pulls his hand away, it is dark with blood.**

"Ohhh!" Zeke shouts. "I didn't see that coming. Better take this Max."

Zeke throws Max a shirt with an X on it.

"You don't know I'm dead yet," Max huffs.

"You are gone dude," Zeke chuckles. "Just accept it and put the shirt on."

"Fine," Max grumbles. Pulling the shirt on over his clothes.

"Way to go Lynn," Marlene smiles. "Taking out the leader of our faction. Now you are even more badass."

"Ex-leader," Tori reminds us.

"Leader, ex-leader, doesn't matter. It's still a big kill," Uriah says.

"How you feeling Max?" I ask.

"Great. I can't believe an initiate got me," Max says shaking his head.

"I'm not an initiate in the book. I ranked third," Lynn says sounding offended at Max's comment.

"I thought it would have been someone with a bit more experience," Max defends.

"You were hoping it would be Four," Zeke laughs. "I suppose death doesn't work that way."

"Obviously," Max retorts. "Keep reading Will."

"Do you want to have a turn reading now you are dead?" Will asks Max.

Will quickly starts to read when he sees the death glare that Max is sending him.

 **I don't bother to climb anymore. I drop into the mud, closely followed by Tobias, Lynn, and Shauna. My legs sink into the mire, and my feet make sucking noises as I pull them free. My shoes slip off but I keep going until I reach the concrete. Guns fire and bullets stick in the mud next to me. I throw myself against the wall under the bridge so they can't aim at me.**

"Yuck," Uriah says. "That is worse than soggy socks."

"You're worried about my shoes?" Tris says. "We are getting shot at."

"I know but Four is with you. He will keep you safe," Uriah says.

"Are you sure?" Zeke asks. "They aren't exactly getting along."

"Do you really think I would let her get shot because we aren't getting along?" I ask.

"No. I guess not. I just, I don't know. Keep reading Will," Zeke says.

 **Tobias presses into the wall behind me, so close to me that his chin floats over my head and I can feel his chest against my shoulders. Shielding me.**

"Told you," Uriah calls out.

 **I can run back to Candor headquarters, and to temporary safety. Or I can find Jeanine in what is probably the most vulnerable state she will ever be in.**

 **It's not even a choice.**

" **Come on!" I say. I sprint up the stairs, the others on my heels. On the lower tier of the bridge, our Dauntless shoot at the Dauntless traitors. Jack is safe, bent over with a Dauntless arm slung across his back. I run faster. I run across the bridge and don't look behind me. I can already hear Tobias's footsteps. He is the only one who can keep up with me.**

"How is it that you are so fast?" Uriah asks. "You have like the shortest legs ever."

 **The glass building is in my sights. And then I hear more footsteps, more gunshots. I weave as I run, to make it more difficult for the Dauntless traitors to hit me.**

"I can't believe you keep throwing yourself into these situations," I say to Tris. "But then when I think about it I can. Does that even make sense?"

"A little," Tris says.

 **I am close to the glass building. I am yards away. I grit my teeth and push myself harder. My legs are numb; I barely feel the ground beneath me. But before I reach the doors, I see movement in the alley to my right. I swerve and follow it with my feet.**

 **Three figures run down the alley. One is blond. One is tall. And one is Peter.**

"Trust Peter to be with Erudite like that," Marlene says. "He is such a snake."

 **I stumble, and almost fall.**

" **Peter!" I shout. He lifts his gun, and behind me, Tobias lifts his own, and we stand just yards away from each other, at a standstill. Behind him, the blond woman—Jeanine, probably—and the tall Dauntless traitor turn the corner. Though I don't have a weapon, and I don't have a plan, I want to run after them, and maybe I would if Tobias did not clamp his hand over my shoulder and hold me in place.**

"I'm glad I did that," I say.

"Me too," Tris whispers.

" **You traitor," I say to Peter. "I knew it. I knew it."**

 **A scream pierces the air. It is anguished and female.**

"Oh no!" Marlene gasps.

"That has to be Shauna or Lynn," Zeke says. "Does anyone want to take a bet on who?"

We are all silent. We have just had Max die and now it looks like we could be witnessing one of our friends too. I don't think anyone wants to speculate.

"Just read," Eric says.

" **Sounds like your friends need you," Peter says with the flash of a smile—or bared teeth, I can't tell. He keeps his gun steady. "So you have a choice. You can let us go, and help them, or you can die trying to follow us."**

 **I almost scream. We both know what I'm going to do.**

" **I hope you die," I say.**

"Don't we all," Tori says.

 **I back up into Tobias, who backs up with me, until we reach the end of the alley, and then turn and run.**

" **That's the end of the chapter," Will says.**

"NO!" shouts the whole room at once.


	23. Chapter 23

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

FOUR'S POV

"Keep reading Will," Uriah says.

"Let me just get a drink," Will says.

"I'll read," Christina says.

"Thanks," Will says as he gets up. Presumably to get a drink.

 **CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO**

 **Shauna lies on the ground, facedown, blood pooling on her shirt. Lynn crouches at her side. Staring. Doing nothing.**

"Shit," Zeke gasps.

" **It's my fault," Lynn mumbles. "I shouldn't have shot him. I shouldn't have ..."**

"It's not," Tris says giving a weak smile to Lynn.

Lynn tries to smile back but it doesn't come out right. She has tears forming in her eyes. She gets up from her seat and goes and sits with Shauna. They are holding hands. The tears are falling from Shauna's eyes.

 **I stare at the patch of blood. A bullet hit her in the back. I can't tell if she's breathing or not. Tobias places two fingers on the side of her neck, and nods.**

" **We've got to get out of here," he says. "Lynn. Look at me. I'm going to carry her, and it's going to hurt her a lot, but it's our only option."**

 **Lynn nods. Tobias crouches next to Shauna and puts his hands under her arms. He lifts her, and she moans. I rush forward to help him pull her limp body over his shoulder. My throat tightens, and I cough to relieve the pressure.**

 **Tobias stands with a grunt of effort, and together we walk toward the Merciless Mart—Lynn in front, with her gun, and me in the back. I walk backward to watch behind us, but I don't see anyone. I think the Dauntless traitors retreated. But I have to make sure.**

The room is silent. No one dares to make a sound. For so long we have been sitting here just waiting for something bad to happen to one of us. Now in less than two chapters Max is dead and Shauna could very well be next.

Then I remember that one of us will become paralysed. Shauna has been shot in the back. I let out a sigh. But at the same time I have to wonder, we are Dauntless, would we rather be dead or paralysed?

" **Hey!" someone shouts. It's Uriah, jogging toward us. "Zeke had to help them get Jack ... oh no." He stops. "Oh no. Shauna?"**

" **Now's not the time," says Tobias sharply. "Run back to the Merciless Mart and get a doctor."**

 **But Uriah just stares.**

" **Uriah! Go, now!" The shout rings with nothing on the street to soften the sound of it. Uriah finally turns and sprints in the direction of the Merciless Mart.**

"Just take your time Uriah," Zeke sounds angry.

"Don't get like that with me Zeke," Uriah snaps.

The tension in the room is extreme.

 **It's only half a mile back, but with Tobias's grunts and Lynn's uneven breathing and the knowledge that Shauna is bleeding to death, it feels endless. I watch the muscles in Tobias's back expanding and contracting with each labored breath, and I don't hear our footsteps; I hear only my heartbeat. When we finally reach the doors, I feel like I might throw up, or faint, or scream at the top of my lungs.**

 **Uriah, an Erudite man with a comb-over, and Cara meet us just inside the entrance. They set up a sheet for Shauna to lie on. Tobias lowers her onto it, and the doctor gets to work immediately, cutting the shirt away from Shauna's back. I turn away. I don't want to see the bullet wound.**

 **Tobias stands in front of me, his face red with exertion. I want him to fold me into his arms again, like he did after the last attack, but he doesn't, and I know better than to initiate it.**

I hold onto Tris tighter and she does the same to me at exactly the same time. We look at each other and give each other a small smile.

" **I'm not going to pretend to know what's going on with you," he says. "But if you senselessly risk your life again—"**

" **I am not senselessly risking my life. I am trying to make sacrifices, like my parents would have, like—"**

" **You are** _ **not**_ **your parents. You are a sixteen-year-old girl—"**

 **I grit my teeth. "How** _ **dare**_ **you—"**

"— **who doesn't understand that the value of a sacrifice lies in its necessity, not in throwing your life away! And if you do that again, you and I are done."**

"What?" Marlene gasps.

 **I wasn't expecting him to say that.**

"Neither were we," Marlene mumbles.

" **You're giving me an ultimatum?" I try to keep my voice down so the others can't hear.**

 **He shakes his head. "No, I'm telling you a fact." His lips are just a line. "If you throw yourself into danger for no reason again, you will have become nothing more than a Dauntless adrenaline junkie looking for a hit, and I'm not going to help you do it." He spits the words out bitterly. "I love Tris the Divergent, who makes decisions apart from faction loyalty, who isn't some faction archetype. But the Tris who's trying as hard as she can to destroy herself ... I can't love her."**

I feel the tear on my shirt. I look down and Tris is silently crying. "Hey," I whisper.

Tris looks up at me and I wipe the tears from her cheeks. "I'm sorry," she says. "I just think I'm a little overwhelmed with everything that is happening."

I nod. I know how she feels. "Remember we can change this," I whisper.

Tris shakes her head, "What if we can't?"

"Then we will deal with it." I hate seeing her crying, it breaks a part of me every time she does.

"Are you two alright over there?" Eric says. "Would you like us to stop for nap time?" I know he is joking and trying to lighten the mood with the last comment but it really isn't helping.

"Keep reading Christina," I say. I hate that all eyes are now on us. The quicker they focus back on the book the better.

 **I want to scream. But not because I'm angry, because I'm afraid he's right. My hands shake and I grab the hem of my shirt to steady them.**

 **He touches his forehead to mine and closes his eyes. "I believe you're still in there," he says against my mouth. "Come back."**

 **He kisses me lightly, and I am too shocked to stop him.**

 **He walks back to Shauna's side, and I stand over one of the Candor scales in the lobby, at a loss.**

"Did you expect that it would end like that?" Christina asks.

"It hasn't ended," Tris says.

"Are you sure?" Christina says.

"You seem like you want it ended Christina," Zeke says.

"That's a page break," Christina says, ignoring Zeke completely.

" **It's been a while."**

 **I sink down on the bed across from Tori. She is sitting up, her leg propped on a stack of pillows.**

"Tori," Uriah shouts. "Finally, we can find out what you were up to."

" **Yes, it has," I say. "How are you feeling?"**

" **Like I got shot." A smile plays over her lips. "I hear you're familiar with the feeling."**

" **Yeah. It's great, right?" All I can think of is the bullet in Shauna's back. At least Tori and I will recover from our wounds.**

"Thanks Tris," Shauna murmurs.

Lynn and Shauna are still sitting close together holding hands. The surprise is that Eric and Lynn have their legs touching. It is only slight and I'm sure no one else will be taking much notice of it but they are going to need to be careful if Eric doesn't want Max to realise that he has changed sides.

" **Did you discover anything interesting at Jack's meeting?" she says.**

" **A few things. Do you know how we might go about calling a Dauntless meeting?"**

" **I can make it happen. One thing about being a tattoo artist in Dauntless is ... you know pretty much everyone."**

" **Right," I say. "You also have the prestige of being a former spy."**

 **Tori's mouth twists. "I had almost forgotten."**

" **Did** _ **you**_ **discover anything interesting? As a spy, I mean."**

" **My mission was primarily focused on Jeanine Matthews." She glares at her hands. "How she spends her days. And, more importantly,** _ **where**_ **she spends them."**

"Sounds like Tori has a death wish too," Marlene says.

" **Not in her office, then?"**

 **Tori doesn't answer at first.**

" **I guess I can trust you, Divergent." She looks at me from the corner of her eye. "She has a private laboratory on the top level. Insane security measures protecting it. I was trying to get up there when they figured out what I was."**

" **You were trying to get up there," I say. Her eyes flit away from mine. "Not to spy, I take it."**

" **I thought it would be more ...** _ **expedient**_ **if Jeanine Matthews didn't survive much longer."**

"That's really brave Tori," Eric says. "You are lucky you only got shot in the leg."

"Why is that Eric?" Tori asks. Disgust written all over her face.

"Jeanine wouldn't let just anyone near her lab. If it had been Jeanine that had discovered you, I would hate to think what she would have done to you," Eric says.

"I'd think you'd be glad," Tori snaps.

"A bullet through the brain would be a lot nicer than the things that Jeanine is capable of," Eric says.

"What type of things?" I ask.

"I think that's enough Eric," Max quietly says. "Christina."

Christina puts her head down and start to read again.

 **I see a kind of thirst in her expression, the same one I saw when she told me about her brother in the back room of the tattoo parlor. Before the attack simulation I might have called it a thirst for justice, or even revenge, but now I am able to identify it as a thirst for blood. And even as it frightens me, I understand it.**

 **Which should probably frighten me even more.**

 **Tori says, "I'll work on calling that meeting."**

"Page break," Christina says.

 **The Dauntless are gathered in the space between the rows of bunk beds and the doors, which are held shut by a tightly wrapped bedsheet, the best lock the Dauntless could muster. I have no doubt that Jack Kang will agree to Jeanine's demands. We aren't safe here anymore.**

" **What were the terms?" Tori says. She sits in a chair between a few of the bunks, her wounded leg stuck out in front of her. She asks Tobias, but he doesn't seem to be paying attention. He is leaning against one of the bunks, his arms crossed, staring at the floor.**

 **I clear my throat. "There were three. Return Eric to the Erudite. Report the names of all people who did not get shot with needles last time. And deliver the Divergent to Erudite headquarters."**

 **I look at Marlene. She smiles back at me a little sadly. She is probably worried about Shauna, who is still with the Erudite doctor. Lynn, Hector, their parents, and Zeke are with her.**

" **If Jack Kang is making deals with the Erudite, we can't stay here," says Tori. "So where can we go?"**

 **I think of the blood on Shauna's shirt, and long for the Amity orchards, the sound of the wind in the leaves, the feeling of bark beneath my hands. I never thought I would crave that place. I didn't think it was in me.**

Zeke and Uriah are both laughing. "Tris wants to go back to Amity," Zeke keeps laughing. "I never thought that would ever be a possibility again."

 **I close my eyes briefly, and when I open them I am in reality, and Amity is a dream.**

" **Home," Tobias says, lifting his head at last. Everyone is listening. "We should take back what's ours. We can break the security cameras in Dauntless headquarters so the Erudite can't see us. We should go home."**

"Yeah," shouts the room. I don't know who has shouted it, it seems like most of us have.

 **Someone assents with a shout, and someone else joins in. That is how things in Dauntless are decided: with nods and yells. In these moments we don't seem like individuals anymore. We are all a part of the same mind.**

" **But before we do that," says Bud, who once worked with Tori in the tattoo parlor and who now stands with his hand on the back of Tori's chair, "we need to decide what to do about Eric. To let him stay here with the Erudite, or to execute him."**

" **Eric is Dauntless," Lauren says, turning the ring in her lip with her fingertips. "That means** _ **we**_ **decide what happens to him. Not Candor."**

"I am so dead," Eric mutters.

"Did you really think you would get out of this alive?" I ask.

"Yes," Eric says. "I've already survived tornado Tris a few times."

"Tornado Tris," Uriah laughs. "You know that's what I'm going to call you from now on."

"Great," Tris replies through gritted teeth.

"It could be worse," Uriah says chuckling, obviously he has a few ideas. I'm sure for his own safety it would be safer if he kept his mouth shut.

"Please read Christina," Tris says.

 **This time a yell tears from my body of its own volition, joining with the others in agreement.**

" **According to Dauntless law, only Dauntless leaders can perform an execution. All five of our former leaders are Dauntless traitors," says Tori. "So I think it's time we pick new ones. The law says we need more than one, and we need an odd number. If you've got suggestions, you should shout them out now, and we'll vote if we need to."**

" **You!" someone calls out.**

" **Okay," says Tori. "Anyone else?"**

 **Marlene cups her hands around her mouth and calls out, "Tris!"**

"Marlene," Tris calls out.

"What? You saved us," Marlene replies.

 **My heart pounds. But to my surprise, no one mutters in dissent and no one laughs. Instead, a few people nod, just like they did when Tori's name was mentioned. I scan the crowd and find Christina. She stands with her arms crossed, and does not seem to react at all to my nomination.**

"I bet you are seething," Eric says to Christina.

"Probably," Christina says.

 **I wonder how I seem to them. They must see someone I don't see. Someone capable and strong. Someone I can't be; someone I can be.**

 **Tori acknowledges Marlene with a nod and scans the crowd for another recommendation.**

" **Harrison," someone says. I don't know who Harrison is until someone slaps a middle-aged man with a blond ponytail on the shoulder, and he grins. I recognize him—he's the Dauntless man who called me "girl" when Zeke and Tori came back from Erudite headquarters.**

"Sounds like he wouldn't be getting your nod of approval," Uriah says to Tris.

 **The Dauntless are quiet for a moment.**

" **I'm going to nominate Four," says Tori.**

 **Apart from a few angry murmurs in the back of the room, no one disagrees. No one is calling him a coward anymore, not after he beat up Marcus in the cafeteria. I wonder how they would react if they knew how calculated that move was.**

"They wouldn't care," Zeke says. "He stood up to him, that is all they would be concerned about. They also know that he is one of, if not our best fighters."

 **Now he could get exactly what he intended to get. Unless I stand in his way.**

" **We only need three leaders," Tori says. "We'll have to vote."**

 **They would never have considered me if I had not stopped the attack simulation. And maybe they wouldn't have considered me if I hadn't stabbed Eric by those elevators, or put myself under that bridge. The more reckless I get, the more popular I am with the Dauntless.**

"You are letting Four's words cloud your judgement," Lynn says. "You deserve to lead us."

"Maybe," Tris says.

 **Tobias looks at me. I can't be popular with the Dauntless, because Tobias is right—I'm not Dauntless; I'm Divergent. I am whatever I choose to be. And I can't choose to be this. I have to stay separate from them.**

"See," Shauna shouts. "This is what I am talking about. She can't be true to Dauntless."

"Are you listening to yourself?" Tori says. "Tris can be true to Dauntless, just like anyone else who is Divergent. She is choosing not to lead. You need to get over this Shauna."

"Why should I?" Shauna spits. "I have a bullet in my back because I followed."

"Bullshit," Zeke says. "You went because Lynn asked you too. Is Lynn Divergent? No. So stop blaming everything on the Divergent. This war that we are reading about sucks but we can only do what we can do. We were warned when we got here that there would be death and tragedy. I doubt anyone is getting out of this room unharmed."

"Of course you would side with _them_ ," Shauna says.

"Just stop talking Shauna," Zeke says. She must see what I see in his eyes. He looks ready to explode on her. Shauna turns away from him.

" **No," I say. I clear my throat and say it louder. "No, you don't have to vote. I refuse my nomination."**

 **Tori raises her eyebrows at me. "Are you sure, Tris?"**

" **Yes," I say. "I don't want it. I'm sure."**

 **And then, without argument and without ceremony, Tobias is elected to be a leader of Dauntless. And I am not.**

"That's the end of the chapter," Christina says.

* * *

A/N: Hi guys. Just wanted to answer a review from a guest **happydays** : I do plan on writing a story about what happens after they finish reading the books and get out of the apartment. At this stage I have no idea what will happen or where I want the story to go. That is why I am occasionally putting up polls to see what you guys want. The only character I know what I will be doing with is Tori. So it might take me a little time to get to the story but I do plan on doing that. I am also considering doing a read the story of Four. But I wouldn't have as many people reading that one. Don't even ask because I will not be touching We Can Be Mended as I am refusing to read it.

Thank you to everyone who is reading this story and my other stories. Thanks for the feedback and support. I still get blown away every time I read a review. I appreciate everyone's support. You are the best!


	24. Chapter 24

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

FOUR'S POV

"Can we read another one?" Lynn asks. "I really want to know how Shauna is."

"Does anyone want to stop?" I ask.

Everyone is silent, I think we all want to see what is going to happen.

"You can read again," Christina says giving Will the book.

He quickly takes the book and starts to read.

 **CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE**

 **Not ten seconds after we choose our new leaders, something rings—one long pulse, two short ones. I move toward the sound, my right ear toward the wall, and find a speaker suspended from the ceiling. There is another one across the room.**

 **Then Jack Kang's voice speaks all around us.**

" **Attention all occupants of Candor headquarters. A few hours ago I met with a representative of Jeanine Matthews. He reminded me that we Candor are in a weak position, dependent on Erudite for our survival, and told me that if I intend to keep my faction free, I will have to meet a few demands."**

"How does that keep his faction free?" Tris asks. "Erudite are in control."

"I would think he is hoping that Erudite will leave them alone if they do what Erudite have asked," Eric says.

"Until next time," Tris says. "Plus, most of their members have been hit with the long-range serum. Erudite can strike at them at any moment they want."

"They aren't trained," Christina says. "They wouldn't do much damage anyway."

"I don't think that would matter," I say. "The serum tells them what to do. I am sure that Erudite would make sure to have something programmed into the sim that would educate them on how to shoot a gun."

"No!" Christina gasps. "My family would have been hit with those sim needles."

"Erudite want total control," I say. "I don't think they would care about your family. They are going to do whatever they have to, to get that control."

Christina opens her mouth but Eric speaks first. "Read Will."

 **I stare up at the speaker, stunned. I shouldn't be surprised that the leader of Candor is this forthright, but I wasn't expecting a public announcement.**

" **In order to comply with these demands, I ask that everyone make their way to the Gathering Place to report whether you have an implant or not," he says. "The Erudite have also ordered all Divergent to be turned over to Erudite. I do not know for what purpose."**

 **He sounds listless. Defeated. Well, he is defeated, I think.** _ **Because he was too weak to fight back.**_

 **One thing Dauntless knows that Candor does not is how to fight even when fighting seems useless.**

"Yeah, Dauntless!" Zeke and Uriah shout at the same time.

 **Sometimes I feel like I am collecting the lessons each faction has to teach me, and storing them in my mind like a guidebook for moving through the world. There is always something to learn, always something that is important to understand.**

"That's smart Tris," Tori says. "I think we could all learn a little from each faction."

"You're sounding a little Divergent there Tori," Eric says.

"Shut up," Tori tells him. "Like you don't walk around like an Erudite most of the time. It wouldn't surprise me if you were Divergent."

"Think what you like Tori," Eric scoffs.

But his reaction makes me wonder, once again, is Eric Divergent? Did he take this path to hide that he is Divergent? Or could Jeanine be blackmailing him? Nothing would surprise me.

 **Jack Kang's announcement ends with the same three rings it started with. The Dauntless rush through the room, throwing their things into bags. A few young Dauntless men cut the sheet away from the door, screaming something about Eric. Someone's elbow presses me to a wall, and I just stand and watch the pandemonium intensify.**

 **On the other hand, one thing Candor knows that Dauntless does not is how not to get carried away.**

"That's a page break," Will says.

 **The Dauntless stand in a semicircle around the interrogation chair, where Eric now sits. He looks more dead than alive. He is slumped in the chair, sweat shining on his pale forehead. He stares at Tobias with his head tilted down, so his eyelashes blend into his eyebrows. I try to keep my eyes on him, but his smile—how the piercings pull wide when his lips spread—is almost too awful to take.**

"You're smiling?" Christina gasps. "What is wrong with you?"

"What would you like me to do?" Eric calmly asks.

"Why would you be smiling? You don't ever smile, why would you pick now?" Christina says almost screaming.

"I can only guess what I would be thinking," Eric says still calm. "I would assume that I am trying to unsettle the people around me. Which it seems to be working from Tris' reaction."

"You are crazy," Christina says shaking her head.

" **Would you like me to tell you your crimes?" says Tori. "Or would you like to list them yourself?"**

 **Rain sprays against the side of the building and streams down the walls. We stand in the interrogation room, on the top floor of the Merciless Mart. The afternoon storm is louder here. Every crack of thunder and flash of lightning makes the back of my neck prickle, as if electricity is dancing over my skin.**

 **I like the smell of wet pavement. It is faint here, but once this is done, all the Dauntless will storm down the stairs and leave the Merciless Mart behind, and wet pavement will be the only thing I smell.**

 **We have our bags with us. Mine is a sack made of a sheet and some rope. It contains my clothes and a spare pair of shoes. I wear the jacket I stole from the Dauntless traitor—I want Eric to see it if he looks at me.**

"Can we just get to the point," Lynn sneers. "I don't care if Tris likes the smell of the wet pavement. No offence Tris."

"None taken," Tris says.

"Stop whinging Lynn and maybe we will get to the point," Zeke says.

"Like you weren't thinking the same thing," Lynn says.

 **Eric scans the crowd for a few seconds, and then his eyes settle on me. He laces his fingers and sets them—gingerly— on his stomach. "I'd like her to list them. Since she's the one who stabbed me, clearly she is familiar with them."**

"You are going to drag this out as far as you can," Uriah chuckles.

"Probably," Eric shrugs.

 **I don't know what game he's playing, or what the point of rattling me is, especially now, before his execution. He seems arrogant, but I notice that his fingers tremble when he moves them. Even Eric must be afraid of death.**

" **Leave her out of this," says Tobias.**

" **Why? Because you're doing her?" Eric smirks. "Oh wait, I forgot. Stiffs don't** _ **do**_ **that sort of thing. They just tie each other's shoes and cut each other's hair."**

"Do you tie each other's shoes?" Lynn asks hesitantly.

I can't help but laugh. I can see most of the room looking at me like I'm crazy. "What?" I ask. "You really think we tie each other's shoes?"

"Not by that reaction," Lynn says. "But how would we know?"

"We don't tie each other's shoes. I even cut my own hair," I inform them.

 **Tobias's expression does not change. I think I understand: Eric doesn't really care about me. But he knows exactly where to hit Tobias, and how hard. And one of the places to hit Tobias the hardest is to hit me.**

"If only he knew how well you have been getting along while in Candor," Zeke chuckles.

 **This is what I wanted most to avoid: for my rises and falls to become Tobias's rises and falls. That's why I can't let him step in to defend me now.**

"That isn't going to change Tris," I say. "No matter what happens."

" **I want her to list them," repeats Eric.**

 **I say, as evenly as possible:**

" **You conspired with Erudite. You are responsible for the deaths of hundreds of Abnegation." As I go on, I can't keep my voice steady anymore; I start to spit out the words like venom. "You betrayed Dauntless. You shot a child in the head. You are a ridiculous plaything of Jeanine Matthews."**

"You really are a dick," Marlene says.

"Thanks Marlene," Eric snaps. "If I remember correctly, I haven't done most of that shit yet."

"Yet being the operative word," Tori says. "Does it matter? Tris is right, you are a ridiculous plaything of Jeanine."

"Don't act like you know me Tori. Because you don't," Eric spits out bitterly. "You think you know. But. You. Don't."

"Just read Will," I say. This could turn into an Eric hate session if we aren't careful. We don't need that.

 **His smile fades.**

" **Do I deserve to die?" he says.**

 **Tobias opens his mouth to interrupt. But I respond before he can.**

" **Yes."**

" **Fair enough." His dark eyes are empty, like pits, like starless nights. "But do you have the right to decide that, Beatrice Prior? Like you decided the fate of that other boy—what was his name? Will?"**

"You know just where to punch someone without even swinging," Zeke says.

"Did you expect me to go down without a fight?" Eric asks.

"I'm surprised you aren't trying to fight your way out," Lynn says.

"Well from the description Tris gave I don't think I am in any state to move," Eric says. "I respect Dauntless law."

 **I don't answer. I hear my father asking me, "What makes you think you have the right to shoot someone?" as we fought our way to the control room in Dauntless headquarters. He told me there is a right way to do something, and I needed to figure it out. I feel something in my throat, like a ball of wax, so thick I can barely swallow, barely breathe.**

"That's just the reaction Eric wanted," Tori says. "Using your Abnegation name like he did, I bet he was hoping you would try and save him."

" **You have committed every crime that warrants execution among the Dauntless," says Tobias. "We have the right to execute you, under the laws of Dauntless."**

 **He crouches by the three guns on the floor near Eric's feet. One by one, he empties the chambers of bullets. They almost jingle as they hit the floor, and then roll, coming to rest against the toes of Tobias's shoes. He picks up the middle gun and puts a bullet into the first slot.**

 **Then he moves the three guns on the floor, around and around, until my eyes can't follow the middle gun anymore. I lose track of which one holds the bullet. He picks up the guns and offers one to Tori, and another one to Harrison.**

"I bet you are glad you turned down leadership now," Uriah says.

"I don't know," Eric says. "I bet she would be glad to execute me. She's already shot and stabbed me."

 **I try to think of the attack simulation, and what it did to the Abnegation. All the gray-clothed innocents lying dead on the street. There weren't even enough Abnegation left to take care of the bodies, so most of them are probably still there. And that would not have been possible without Eric.**

 **I think of the Candor boy, shot without a second's hesitation, how stiff he was as he hit the ground next to me.**

 **Maybe we are not the ones deciding if Eric lives or dies. Maybe he is the one who decided that, when he did all those terrible things.**

"I think you're right," Eric whispers.

 **But it's still hard to breathe.**

 **I look at him without malice, without hatred, and without fear. The rings in his face shine, and a lock of dirty hair falls into his eyes.**

" **Wait," he says. "I have a request."**

" **We don't take requests from criminals," says Tori. She's standing on one leg, and has been for the past few minutes. She sounds tired—she probably wants to get this over with so she can sit down again. To her this execution is just an inconvenience.**

" **I am a leader of Dauntless," he says. "And all I want is for Four to be the one who fires that bullet."**

" _ **Why**_ **?" Tobias says.**

" **So you can live with the guilt," Eric replies. "Of knowing that you usurped me and then shot me in the head."**

"Seriously?" I say. "Why is it always a competition with you?"

"Because no matter how hard he tries," Zeke says. "He is always second best when it comes to you."

"But I don't care about that stuff," I say.

"And that is what makes it all the more frustrating," Eric admits.

 **I think I understand. He wants to see people break—has always wanted to, ever since he set up the camera in my execution room when I nearly drowned, and probably long before then. And he believes that if Tobias has to kill him, he will see that before he dies.**

 **Sick.**

" **There won't be any guilt," says Tobias.**

" **Then you'll have no problem doing it." Eric smiles again.**

"Right to the bitter end you are still trying to push his limits," Tori remarks. "Could you not go out with some dignity?"

"I think I'm going out with a lot of dignity," Eric replies.

 **Tobias picks up one of the bullets.**

" **Tell me," says Eric quietly, "because I've always wondered. Is it your daddy who shows up in every fear landscape you've ever gone through?"**

 **Tobias puts the bullet into an empty chamber without looking up.**

" **You didn't like that question?" Eric says. "What, afraid the Dauntless are going to change their minds about you? Realize that even though you've only got four fears, you're still a coward?"**

 **He straightens in the chair and puts his hands on the armrests. Tobias holds his gun out from his left shoulder.**

" **Eric," he says, "be brave."**

 **He squeezes the trigger.**

 **I shut my eyes.**

"Huh," Eric says with a shrug.

"Huh! Huh?" Zeke shouts. "That's all you have to say?"

"Well his life is officially complete now," Lynn says.

"Why would you think that?" Zeke asks.

"Remember when Tris stabbed him? Eric said that all he needed was Four to shoot him in the head and his life would be complete. Looks like it came true," Lynn says with a shrug. She might be acting all casual but I can see she's not. One thing about administering the fear simulations is that you learn a lot more about the person than just their fears. I can see the pain in Lynn's eyes but she is very good at covering it up.

"What do you want me to do Zeke?" Eric asks. "Do you want me to start screaming and yelling? I know I'm going to go and hit a punching bag once the chapter is over but other than that there is nothing I can do about it."

"Well you won't mind putting this on," Zeke says as he throws Eric one of his X shirts.

"I'll wear it tomorrow," Eric says. "I'm not going to wear it to the training room."

"That was the end of the chapter," Will says.

"Great," Eric says, getting up and walking out of the room.

"Well the bad guys are all dead," Uriah says. "I mean the bad guys that are here."

"Didn't last long. Did you Max?" Tori taunts.

"I'm going to bed," Max says.

"Wait, we still don't know what happened to Shauna," Lynn says.

"You will just have to wait Lynn," I say. "It's getting late and we have read enough for one day. I'm going to check on Eric."

"Why bother?" Shauna asks.

"It's not like anyone else is going to," I say with a shrug as I get up to walk out of the room.

"Tris, want to have a late-night sparring session?" I hear Lynn asks Tris. I know it's just an excuse so that she can check on Eric. I can't hear Tris' response but I am sure they will be at my heals before I reach the door to the training room.

* * *

Tris and Lynn come crashing into the training room breathless and laughing. Not what I was expecting them to be like.

"Lock the door," I call out.

Eric and I are sitting next to each other with our backs to the wall across from the door. We have been sitting here for the last five minutes not saying a word. I can see that Eric has shed a few tears. It's not something I am going to point out to him.

"Why do you want the door locked?" Lynn asks as she flops down next to Eric on the other side from me.

"I don't think we want anyone to walk in on this conversation," I say. "What were you two doing?"

"It got a little heated in the lounge room so we decided to race each other here," Tris says still catching her breath as she sits down in front of me.

"What happened?" Eric asks.

"They were all arguing about your reaction to your death," Tris says.

"Also about why Four would be the one to come in here," Lynn says. "You couldn't get a word in for all the talk, so we decided to get out of there."

"How are you feeling?" Tris asks Eric.

"I deserved it," Eric says hanging his head.

It is silent for about two minutes when Eric starts to speak again.

"I was always told the Divergent would end our world. That the reasons we have factions now is because people who are Divergent ruined the way life used to be. That the world was this amazing place until one day the Divergent took over and destroyed it."

We can all feel he has more to say, so we wait.

"That's why when we got locked in here and I found out that Tris was Divergent, I wanted her to help me with the cooking. I wanted to see for myself if it was true. Since we started to read these books I realise that most of what I was told is bullshit. It was Jeanine's way to manipulate me into the person she needed."

"I feel like an idiot for letting her poison me. The things I have done, or could do, they sicken me. I hate who I became, I'm glad I got shot."

"Don't say that," Lynn says.

"Lynn," Eric says. "That Eric deserved to die. I don't' want to die. But I don't want to become that person either. I just don't know how I am going to leave this place and pretend that I am still on Jeanine's side."

"You don't have to," I say. "I told you before, if it is going to be too much than when we get out you stay with us."

"But we have more chance of stopping this if I do it," Eric says.

"Look," I say. "It's not a decision we need to make right now. Let's just see how things play out."

"I can't believe Max isn't willing to budge," Tris says.

"He won't make a decision until he speaks to Danni," Eric says.

"As in leader Danni?" Lynn asks.

"Yeah, she is the one who makes the decisions in that relationship," Eric states.

"They're in a relationship?" Lynn sounds shocked.

"Sort of, it's complicated. I don't know the exact details. But something happened to Danni before she transferred to Dauntless. Max fell in love with her and has been by her side ever since she went through initiation. Danni is complex to say the least. Whatever happened to her turned her into an evil, manipulative killer. She would have no hesitation to put a bullet in anyone she thought was a threat. Max seems to be able to keep her calm most of the time but I know vengeance is what she is after. I don't know who it's against but whoever it is better hope that she never gets hold of them."

"So we have no way of turning Max away from Jeanine's plan?" I ask.

"Not without Danni's say so," Eric says. "Which I don't' think you are going to ever get. She has been very vocal about wanting to support Jeanine. I don't think if she knew the truth she would want to stop it."

"What about Christina and Will?" Tris asks.

"Christina wants to save Will. She doesn't care about anything else. I am sure that Max will try to exploit that. After her reaction to thinking her family could be put into a sim I don't know if she will want to keep in with Max."

"I could tell that Will is second guessing the situation since his sister turned up in Candor," I say.

"Will is just doing what he is told," Eric explains. "I think he could be turned either way. Max is having a meeting with them in the morning. He asked me to meet them in his room. I will let you know what happens."

"We still have the other person to think about," I say.

"What other person?" Lynn asks.

I see Lynn's face drop as she sees the expression on my face.

"No. NO! She wouldn't do that. She is just upset," Lynn says angrily.

"Lynn," Eric murmurs. "We aren't sure, but"

He can't seem to finish the sentence. A small sob comes from Lynn and Eric engulfs her in a hug.

"We'll leave you two alone," Tris says. "If you need anything come find us."

I'm glad Tris just made that decision. I don't know what to tell Lynn, we don't know what Shauna is likely to do. I think a lot will depend on what happens to her in the book. Which is understandable but it also means that she could keep switching sides.


	25. Chapter 25

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

FOUR'S POV

I wake with a start. Someone is banging on our door. Not loudly but consistently, they haven't stopped. I jump out of bed trying not to wake Tris. I open the door to see a worried looking Tori.

"Where's Lynn?" she whisper shouts at me.

"What?" I ask.

"Lynn didn't come back to our room last night and I know she isn't with Shauna."

"Calm down Tori. I'm sure she is fine," I say.

"You know where she is?" Tori asks.

"I have an idea," I reply.

"Please don't tell me what I think you are going to tell me," Tori whisper shouts again.

"Okay. I won't. Can I go back to bed?"

"Four," Tori starts but I put my hand up to stop her.

"Don't Tori. There are things happening that you don't know about."

"Well maybe you should enlighten me."

I sigh. This is a conversation I was hoping I wouldn't have to have. How do I explain Eric. Tori hates him and I know she will never trust him. Do I trust her with the information?

"How do I know I can trust you?" I ask her.

"How can you say that to me? You know me Four," Tori says.

"I do. That's what worries me, I don't think you are going to be happy with what I have to tell you."

"Eric's changing sides, isn't he?" Tori whispers.

I nod my head.

"Good," Tori says. Not the reaction I was expecting.

"Well I will let you get back to sleep, sorry I disturbed you," Tori says as she moves toward the door.

"Wait Tori," I call her back. She turns to look at me.

"This needs to stay between us," I warn. "We can't trust everyone and I think Lynn and Eric are going to upset a few people with what is happening."

"I understand," Tori says as she turns and walks out the door.

I shut and lock the door and get back into bed.

"Hey," Tris mumbles still half asleep. "Was that Tori I heard?"

"Yeah. Go back to sleep Tris. I will tell you about it when you wake up."

Tris snuggles into my side and we both fall back to sleep.

* * *

I hear shouting in the hall way. Tris and I are both only just starting to wake up. "GET UP!" Someone is shouting as they walk down the hall and bang on each bedroom door as they go.

"Is that Uri yelling?" Tris asks. I shrug as I get out of bed to have a look.

I open the door to a very happy looking Uriah. Running along with a cake in his arms.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

"They sent me a cake," Uriah says.

"Just you?" I ask raising an eyebrow at him.

"I was the one who asked for it," Uriah whines. "Plus, they gave me two. So, I get one and you can all share one."

"Good luck with that Uriah," I say. "I think you are going to have to learn to start sharing your cake."

"But Four," whiny Uriah says.

"Do you really think you are going to get away with keeping a cake to yourself?"

"It was worth a try," Uriah says with a grin. "Come on, let's go eat some cake."

"You want cake for breakfast?" I ask.

"Who cares what meal it is," Uriah says. "It's cake!"

I can't argue with that. Who doesn't love cake? I run back into our bedroom.

"Tris," I call out when I don't see her in bed.

"I'll be out in a second," Tris calls back from the bathroom.

"Hurry up! Uriah got his cake," I shout, a little too excited. Not going to let Uriah know though.

"Did you say Uriah has cake?"

"Yeah."

"Let's go then."

We race down the stairs and find that everyone is in the dining room eating cake for breakfast. The mood is good after all that happened yesterday. I suppose cake will do that for you.

I sit down and look across from me and can't help but laugh.

"What are you laughing at?" Eric asks.

"Your shirt," I say. "They couldn't have given you a bigger size?"

"We didn't have many options _Four_ ," Zeke defends.

"Maybe you should just stick the X to one of your own shirts," I suggest.

"I don't know," Marlene says. "I don't think there is anything wrong with showing a little mid drift."

"For you maybe," Eric grumbles.

"Why did you put it on then?" I ask.

"Uriah wouldn't give me any cake until I put it on. Told me if I kept it on while I ate he would give me seconds," Eric says.

I burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" Uriah asks.

"What is wrong with you Eric? You get killed and go soft on us," I say still laughing. "When have you ever let an initiate order you around? When have you ever let anyone order you around? Now all of a sudden you're scared of Uriah."

Everyone starts laughing.

"I wanted cake," Eric responds. "I wasn't going to start an argument until I had at least had some cake."

I just shake my head.

"Do you think if we asked for other things they would give them to us?" Marlene asks.

"I suppose it would depend what you want," I say.

"Did they leave us anything else?" Tris asks.

"Some more food, toiletries. Nothing exciting," Christina answers.

"Make a list," I say. "See what happens. The worst that can happen is that they don't give us anything else."

"Put cake on the list Mar," Uriah says with his mouth full of cake.

"Close your mouth when you are eating Uri," Tris says.

"You better go to the training room after this," I say to Uriah. "I don't want to have to deal with you hyped up on cake all afternoon while we try and read."

"I agree," Eric says.

"Will you spar with me?" Uriah asks Eric. Bouncing in his seat. I swear he acts like he is five sometimes.

"Can I have an extra piece of cake?" Eric asks.

"No, you are already getting two," Uriah responds.

"No, I won't spar with you," Eric says.

"I'll spar with you," I tell Uriah.

"Serious?" Uriah asks. I just nod. I could do with the workout. Uriah's a good fighter it should be fun.

* * *

"Mar can you put healing serum on the list," Uriah groans as we sit down to read another chapter.

"What did you do to him Four," Marlene shouts at me.

"I didn't do anything," I raise my hands in defence.

"Then what does he need healing serum for?" Marlene asks with a raised eyebrow.

Zeke, Eric and Lynn start laughing.

"What's so funny?" Marlene asks.

"Uriah got one good punch in on Four and he got a little excited. Started to do a happy dance and slipped on some sweat on the floor," Zeke says through laughter. "He slid across the floor and Lynn was about to punch Eric but she hit Uriah instead."

We are all laughing now.

"It's not funny," Uriah says. "Lynn hits hard."

"It probably didn't help that you were sliding across the floor rather quickly," Eric says, he is trying to be serious but it just isn't happening and he breaks into laughter.

"Oh Uriah," Marlene sighs. "Maybe just one piece of cake at a time."

"Mar," Uriah groans.

Once the laughter dies down Will opens the book.

"Do we need a recap of where we are at?" Will asks.

"I think everyone was cheering at my demise," Eric states.

"We are also waiting to see what has happened to Shauna," Lynn points out.

Will begins.

 **CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR**

 **Blood is a strange color. It's darker than you expect it to be.**

 **I stare down at Marlene's hand, which is wrapped around my arm. Her fingernails are short and jagged—she bites them. She pushes me forward, and I must be walking, because I can feel myself moving, but in my mind I stand before Eric and he is still alive.**

 **He died just like Will did. Slumped just like Will did.**

"How can you compare Will and Eric's deaths?" Christina asks.

"I don't think I am," Tris says. "they're both dead, that's it. I wish you could understand that I never would have wanted to kill Will."

"I do," Christina says. "I'm sorry, I just get so upset every time I think about it."

 **I thought the swollen feeling in my throat would go away once he was dead, but it didn't. I have to take deep, hard breaths to get enough air. Good thing the crowd around me is so loud that no one can hear me. We march toward the doors. At the front of the pack is Harrison, carrying Tori on his back like a child. She laughs, her arms wrapped around his neck.**

"Sounds like someone is having fun," Uriah says to Tori.

Tori shrugs. "Eric's dead, we are going home. What isn't there to be happy about?" Tori says.

 **Tobias sets his hand on my back. I know because I see him come up behind me and do it, not because I feel it. I don't feel anything at all.**

"Glad my death is affecting you Tris," Eric smirks.

"Yeah, great," Tris mumbles.

 **The doors open from the outside. We stop short of stampeding Jack Kang and the group of Candor that followed him here.**

" **What have you done?" he says. "I was just told that Eric is missing from his holding cell."**

" **He was under our jurisdiction," says Tori. "We gave him a trial and executed him. You should be thanking us."**

"Jack will probably have a heart attack," Tori says.

" **Why ..." Jack's face turns red. Blood is darker than blush, even though one consists of the other. "Why should I be thanking you?"**

"Tris you really can be very morbid," Lynn says. "You think the weirdest things sometimes."

"This is just ridiculous," Tris says. "I will never know if I am thinking these things or whether the author just put it in the book. I can't even imagine thinking half of the thoughts that she is saying."

"I never thought of it like that," Tori says. "I wonder if there are other things in here that could be embellished just to make the story more interesting."

"Like what?" I ask.

"Maybe Eric and Will aren't dead," Tori says.

"Yes," Eric shouts.

"Don't get too excited," I say. "We know that everything up to when we were put in here was true. Even if there are embellishments, I don't think we should forget what we are up against when we leave here. The whole reason we have been put here is to try and stop what is happening. We need to stay focused on that."

"Way to ruin my mood," Eric grumbles.

"You're dead," I say. "What mood?"

"You're not going to let me forget it, are you?" Eric asks.

"At least not today," I say. "Where's your X shirt?"

Eric holds up his wrist and he has the shirt tied around it. "I'm still wearing it."

"Can we please read?" Lynn says. "I can't wait to hear what Jack does."

" **Because you wanted him to be executed, too, right? Since he murdered one of your children?" Tori tilts her head, her eyes wide, innocent. "Well, we took care of it for you. And now, if you'll excuse us, we're leaving."**

" **Wha—** _ **Leaving**_ **?" Jack splutters.**

 **If we leave, he will be incapable of fulfilling two of the three demands Max had of him. The thought terrifies him, and it is all over his face.**

" **I can't let you do that," he says.**

Laughter starts to move around the room. We all know just what a ridiculous statement that is. How is he going to stop a room full of Dauntless?

" **You don't let us do anything," says Tobias. "If you don't step aside, we will be forced to walk over you instead of past you."**

" **Didn't you come here to find allies?" Jack scowls. "If you do this, we will side with Erudite, I promise you, and you will never find an ally in us again, you—"**

"What a crock," Tori says. "He was going to give in to their demands, he had already shown who he was siding with. Coward."

" **We don't need you as an ally," says Tori. "We're Dauntless."**

 **Everyone shouts, and somehow their screams pierce the haze in my mind. The entire crowd presses forward at once. The Candor in the corridor yelp and dive out of the way as we spill into the hallway like a burst pipe, Dauntless water spreading to fill the empty space.**

"Would the water be black if it was Dauntless water?" Uriah asks.

No one bothers to answer Uriah. We could be talking about it for three hours if we encourage him. Better to just let Will keep reading.

 **Marlene's grip on my arm breaks. I run down the stairs, chasing the heels of the Dauntless in front of me, ignoring the jostle of elbows and all the shouts around me. I feel like I am an initiate again, storming the stairs of the Hub right after the Choosing Ceremony. My legs burn, but that is all right.**

"How cool was that?" Uriah asks. "At the hub. It was so funny to see the transfers faces as we started to run down the stairs."

"We had no idea what was going to happen," Will says. "What you would expect from us?"

Uriah shrugs. "Wasn't as funny as when we had to jump off the train."

"But still it was a transfer who was first jumper," Tris says, teasing Uriah.

Zeke starts laughing. "She's got you there bro."

"Yeah okay, that wasn't as funny," Uriah says.

 **We reach the lobby. A group of Candor and Erudite are waiting there, including the blond Divergent woman who got dragged to the elevators by her hair, the girl I helped escape, and Cara. They watch the Dauntless stream past them with helpless looks on their faces.**

 **Cara spots me and grabs my arm, wrenching me back. "Where are you all going?"**

"Happy to be friendly now, isn't she?" Lynn says. "Should have stomped on her foot Tris."

"Why?" Tris says. "Because that is what you would have done?"

"For her," Lynn says. "Probably would rather just punch her."

"Hey," Will calls out. "That's my sister."

"Can't help who you are related too," Lynn says.

" **Dauntless headquarters." I try to pull my arm free, but she won't let go. I don't look at her face. I can't look at her right now.**

" **Go to Amity," I say. "They promised safety to anyone who wants it. You won't be safe here."**

 **She releases me, almost pushing me away from her in the process.**

"I don't like your sister Will," Lynn grumbles. "She isn't very nice. I can't believe you are even related."

"Like you're the most friendly person in the world," Zeke laughs.

"We probably wouldn't be in half the mess we are in if it wasn't for her," Lynn defends. "She's the idiot who helped create the serum that put us under the simulation in the first place. So I wouldn't start comparing me to her if I was you Zeke."

"Good point," Zeke says. "I don't think I like her very much either, now that you put it like that."

 **Outside, the ground feels slick beneath my sneakers, and my sack of clothes thumps against my back as I slow to a jog. Rain sprinkles my head and my back. My feet splash through puddles, soaking my pant legs.**

"Where do you keep getting shoes from Tris?" Marlene asks.

"I don't know Marlene," Tris replies.

 **I smell wet pavement, and pretend that this is all there is.**

"That's a page break," Will tells us.

 **I stand at the railing overlooking the chasm. Water hits the wall beneath me, but it doesn't come high enough to splash my shoes.**

 **A hundred yards away, Bud passes out paintball guns. Someone else passes out paintballs. Soon the hidden corners of Dauntless headquarters will be coated in multicolored paint, blocking the lenses of the surveillance cameras.**

"Finally, it sounds like we are going to have some fun," Uriah says.

"We are in the middle of a war," I say.

"Yeah, so?" Uriah says. "We all need a little fun Four."

" **Hey, Tris," Zeke says, joining me at the railing. His eyes are red and swollen, but his mouth is curled into a small smile.**

" **Hey. You made it."**

" **Yeah. We waited until Shauna was stable and then took her here." He rubs one of his eyes with his thumb. "I didn't want to move her, but ... wasn't safe with Candor anymore. Obviously."**

" **How is she?"**

" **Dunno. She's gonna survive it, but the nurse thinks she might be paralyzed from the waist down. And that wouldn't bother me, but ..." He lifts a shoulder. "How can she be Dauntless if she can't walk?"**

"I'm paralysed?" Shauna asks.

"Looks like it," Eric responds.

Shauna lets out a sob and Lynn quickly goes to her sister and tries to comfort her.

 **I stare across the Pit, where some Dauntless children chase each other up the path, hurling paintballs at the walls. One of them breaks and splatters the stone with yellow.**

 **I think of what Tobias told me when we spent the night with the factionless, about the older Dauntless leaving the faction because they were no longer physically capable of staying in it. I think of Candor's rhyming song, which calls us the cruelest faction.**

" **She can," I say.**

" **Tris. She won't even be able to move around."**

" **Sure she will." I look up at him. "She can get a wheelchair, and someone can push her up the paths in the Pit, and there's an elevator in the building up there." I point above our heads. "She doesn't need to be able to walk to slide down the zip line or fire a gun."**

"Would that work?" Shauna asks.

"It's up to you Shauna," Lynn says.

" **She won't want me to push her." His voice cracks a little. "She won't want me to lift her, or carry her."**

" **She'll have to get over it, then. Are you going to let her drop out of Dauntless for a stupid reason like not being able to walk?"**

"I could stay in Dauntless?" Shauna asks.

"It hasn't even happened yet," I say. "You can do anything you set your mind to Shauna."

 **Zeke is quiet for a few seconds. His eyes shift over my face, and he squints, as if weighing and measuring me.**

 **Then he turns and bends and wraps his arms around me. It's been so long since someone hugged me that I stiffen. Then I relax, and let the gesture force warmth into my body, which is chilled by damp clothing.**

I hate hearing those words. I hate hearing how distant Tris and I have become.

" **I'm gonna go shoot things," he says as he pulls away. "Want to come?"**

 **I shrug and chase him across the Pit floor. Bud hands each of us a paintball gun, and I load mine. Its weight, shape, and material are so different from a revolver that I have no trouble holding it.**

" **We've mostly got the Pit and the underground covered," Bud says. "But you should tackle the Pire."**

" **The Pire?"**

 **Bud points up at the glass building above us. The sight pierces me like a needle. The last time I stood in this spot and stared up at this ceiling, I was on a mission to destroy the simulation. I was with my father.**

"Do you think there is anywhere that is going to hold happy memories for you Tris?" Marlene asks. "It seems that there has been so many horrible things happen and you just keep reminding yourself of them."

"I hope that we will never have to find out Marlene," Tris says. "We need to stop this before it happens."

"What do you think the people who have read this story thought of it?" Marlene asks. "You know, the people hundreds of years ago. Do you think they liked it? Or did they get all sad when the bad things happened?"

"They just thought it was a story," Tori says. "Probably didn't mean that much to them."

"Do you think that matters?" Marlene asks. "I know I have read stories and been happy or sad after I have read it."

"They made movies out of the books so it must have been popular," Tori says.

"How cool would it be if we could watch the movies?" Uriah says.

"You just want to see yourself," Zeke teases.

"Yeah I do," Uriah says. "I bet they couldn't find anyone as good looking as me to play the part."

"Keep dreaming Uriah," Lynn scoffs.

"Do you think whoever had the books, has the movies?" Christina asks.

"I suppose anything is possible," I say.

"You might find them in Erudite," Eric says.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Erudite have these underground storage rooms with millions of things from the past. Where do you think the movie theatre gets its movies from?" Eric says

"Does that mean that Jeanine could have copies of not only the movie but also the books?" I ask.

"It's possible," Eric says. "But if it has the word Divergent in it, she or the leaders before her could have destroyed them."

"You would just think it was a story. Unless you knew the characters in the book you wouldn't have made a connection," Tori says.

"Why didn't our kidnappers just put copies of the book around the city? Let others read what was in it. Do you think if Jeanine read the book she might stop what she is doing?" Marlene asks.

"I would think that Jeanine would be sitting here with us if they thought that was the case," Eric says.

"Could you imagine if we had been locked in here with Jeanine?" Uriah groans. "That would have been horrible."

"Maybe when we get out we can make her read the book," Christina says.

"Or maybe we could just shoot her in the head and be done with her," Lynn snaps.

"Keep reading Will," I say.

 **Zeke is already on his way up the path. I force myself to follow him, one foot and then the other. It's difficult to walk because it's difficult to breathe, but somehow I manage. By the time I reach the stairs, the pressure on my chest is almost gone.**

 **Once we're in the Pire, Zeke lifts up his gun and aims at one of the cameras near the ceiling. He fires, and green paint sprays across one of the windows, missing the camera lens.**

Uriah starts to laugh, a really belly laugh.

"What's so funny?" Zeke asks.

"You are," Uriah replies. "How could you miss the camera like that?"

"Maybe it's one of those parts in the story where the author embellished," Zeke replies.

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that," Uriah says still laughing.

" **Ooh," I say, wincing. "Ouch."**

" **Yeah? I'd like to see you do it perfectly the first time."**

"This should be hilarious," Eric says.

"Why?" Zeke asks.

"You've seen what she's done to me. Just wait now it's your turn," Eric says.

"At least I'm still alive," Zeke teases.

"You'll be wishing you were dead in a minute," Eric says.

"Don't joke about that shit," Lynn snaps.

"It's okay Lynn," Zeke says in a soothing voice.

"No it's not Zeke," Lynn almost yells. "Five more are still to die. Don't you think it is becoming a little too real now?"

"Okay, okay," Zeke says putting his hands up. "We will try not to joke about death. It's Eric's fault anyway."

" **Would you?" I lift my own gun, propping it up on my left shoulder instead of my right. The gun feels unfamiliar in my left hand, but I can't bear its weight with my right yet. Through the scope I find the camera, and then squint to stare at the lens. A voice whispers in my head.** _ **Inhale. Aim. Exhale. Fire**_ **. It takes me a few seconds to realize it's Tobias's voice, because he's the one who taught me to shoot. I squeeze the trigger and the paintball hits the camera, spraying blue paint across the lens. "There. Now you have. With the wrong hand, too."**

"Ha ha," Eric says. "Told you."

"What do they teach you in Abnegation? Because you and Four are freaks," Zeke says.

"We need to change things," Lynn says. "Transfers shouldn't be able to show up Dauntless borns. At least not the way these two do." Lynn points between Tris and me.

"Must be our Divergent mind tricks," Tris jokes.

"Don't joke about that," Shauna says. "You are dangerous."

"At what time have I been dangerous?" Tris asks. "Unless your name is Eric. I got you out of the sim, I just encouraged Zeke to help you to stay in Dauntless. You keep judging everyone who is Divergent because of one person. A person you didn't even know. How do you know he was Divergent?"

"Because my mother told me so," Shauna snaps.

"Which means nothing to me," Tris says. "You are throwing your relationship with Zeke away because of what you were told. There is no hard evidence here that it is true. And so what if it is? Lots of people get a broken heart, that has nothing to do with someone being Divergent. If it wasn't for Tobias you would have failed Dauntless initiation. What good would your aptitude for Dauntless have been if you had failed?"

"How dare you," Shauna screams as she lunges at Tris.

Zeke grabs Shauna around the waist and picks her up and drags her out of the room kicking and screaming.

"I better go and check on her," Lynn starts to move towards the training room, where Zeke took Shauna. As she passes us she high fives Tris. "It's about time someone said that to her," Lynn tells Tris.

"I feel horrible," Tris quietly says to me. "I just couldn't hold it in any longer."

"I wouldn't worry about it," I say. "Maybe it will help her to realise that she is wrong. I don't know."

"I'm going to start making lunch," Eric says.

"I'm going to go and help Eric," Tris says getting up from the couch.

* * *

We are all sitting around the dining table about to start eating our lunch when Shauna, Zeke and Lynn walk in the room. All three look to have been crying. No one went near the training room while they were in there. So we don't know what was said.

"I just want to apologise for my behaviour," Shauna says with her head down, not looking at anyone. "I don't understand this Divergent stuff but I should at least give you all the benefit of the doubt."

That is all she says. I don't know if I would call it an apology but at least it is a start.

p/b

"Ready to read again?" Will asks.

There are a few yes' and grumbles.

"Do we need to recap?" Will asks.

"Let me," Eric says with a smirk. "If I remember correctly, Tris just gave Zeke a lesson on how to shoot accurately with her non-dominant arm."

"Thanks for reminding me Eric," Zeke says.

"You're welcome Zeke," Eric replies.

 **Zeke mutters something under his breath that doesn't sound pleasant.**

" **Hey!" shouts a cheerful voice. Marlene pokes her head above the glass floor. Paint is smeared across her forehead, giving her a purple eyebrow. With a wicked smile, she aims at Zeke, hitting his leg, and then at me. The paintball hits my arm, stinging.**

 **Marlene laughs and ducks under the glass. Zeke and I look at each other, and then run after Marlene. She laughs as she sprints down the path, weaving through a crowd of kids. I shoot at her, and hit the wall instead. Marlene fires at a boy near the railing—Hector, Lynn's little brother. He looks shocked at first, but then fires back, hitting the person next to Marlene.**

"We should have a paint ball fight like this in the Pit," Uriah says.

"That would be so much fun," Marlene says.

"Who's going to clean the paint up afterwards?" Max asks.

"Why would you want to do that?" I ask.

"I'm sure the shop keepers in the Pit wouldn't want paint all over their windows," Max replies.

"It wouldn't bother me," Tori says. "I think it would be a good idea."

"We could have like a tournament," Uriah says. "All Dauntless members could be involved."

"I'll think about it," Max grumbles.

 **Popping sounds fill the air as everyone in the Pit starts to fire at one another, young and old, the cameras momentarily forgotten. I charge down the path, surrounded by laughter and shouting. We cluster together to form teams, and then turn against one another.**

 **By the time the fight dies down, my clothes are more paint-colored than black. I decide to keep the shirt to remind me why I chose Dauntless in the first place: not because they are perfect, but because they are alive. Because they are free.**

"It was nice to finish a chapter on a happy note," Will says.

"Doesn't feel like we are going to get many like that," Christina says.


	26. Chapter 26

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

FOUR'S POV

 **CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE**

 **Someone raids the Dauntless kitchens and heats up the imperishables kept there, so we have a warm dinner that night. I sit at the same table I used to claim with Christina, Al, and Will. From the moment I sit down, I feel a lump in my throat. How is it that only half of us are left?**

 **I feel responsible for that. My forgiveness could have saved Al, but I withheld it. My clearheadedness could have spared Will, but I could not summon it.**

"Tris," Uriah whines. "Please stop thinking like this."

"I don't think the book can hear you," Marlene giggles.

"I know but it's just so frustrating to hear. It's not like she pushed Al, he made his choices. As for Will, well she didn't have a choice," Uriah states.

"But—," Christina starts.

"Don't go there Christina," Uriah says. "If Tris hadn't killed Will you would still be under simulation. Maybe for the rest of your life. You keep carrying on about Tris killing Will but reality is that if she hadn't the simulation would not have been stopped. Start looking at the bigger picture. It might also be a good idea if you look at who you are sitting next to. Will isn't dead."

 **Before I can sink too far into my guilt, Uriah drops his tray next to me. It is loaded with beef stew and chocolate cake. I stare at the cake pile.**

" **There was cake?" I say, looking at my own plate, which is more sensibly stocked than Uriah's.**

" **Yeah, someone just brought it out. Found a couple boxes of the mix in the back and baked it," he says. "You can have a few bites of mine."**

" **A** _ **few**_ **bites? So you're planning on eating that mountain of cake by yourself?"**

" **Yes." He looks confused. "Why?"**

" **Never mind."**

"Good to see somethings never change," I chuckle.

"Like you wouldn't be doing the same," Uriah says. "We wouldn't have had cake for ages being stuck in Candor. I'm sure their ice cream wasn't as good as our cake."

 **Christina sits across the table, as far away from me as she can get. Zeke puts his tray down next to her. We are soon joined by Lynn, Hector, and Marlene. I see a flash of movement under the table, and see Marlene's hand meet Uriah's over his knee. Their fingers twist together. They are both clearly trying to look casual, but they sneak looks at each other.**

"You never told us how you two got together," Shauna says. "Did we just not see it while we were in Dauntless or did it happen here?"

"It happened here," Marlene says blushing.

"Details?" Shauna asks.

"I don't know it just kinda happened. We have been sharing a bed since we got here," Marlene replies.

"Very romantic," Zeke teases.

"Don't you start," Uriah says. "Remember who you came to when you wanted to ask Shauna ask?"

"Okay, okay," Zeke says.

I bet Uriah has a lot of dirt on Zeke when it comes to him dating. I'm sure the girls in the room don't want to know some of the things he has done. Especially before he started dating Shauna. He only thought one way and that was to get whatever he could out of the girls he dated.

 **To Marlene's left, Lynn looks like she just tasted something sour. She shovels food into her mouth. "Where's the fire?" Uriah asks her. "You're going to hurl if you keep eating that fast."**

 **Lynn scowls at him. "I'm going to hurl anyway, with you two making eyes at each other all the time."**

"It's a wonder you aren't like that here Lynn," Shauna says. "With all the couples in the room it must be infuriating for you."

"Haven't been taking that much notice," Lynn says.

"I wonder why that is?" Tori says with a smile.

"What do you mean?" Uriah asks.

"There is so much happening in the books that I'm sure she isn't worried about what others are doing," Tori quickly replies.

I give Tori a look. She better not screw things up for Eric and Lynn. If they are found out then Max will have doubts about Eric's commitment and that will not end well.

 **Uriah's ears turn red. "What are you talking about?"**

" **I am not an idiot, and neither is anyone else. So why don't you just make out with her and get it over with?"**

 **Uriah looks stunned. Marlene, however, glares at Lynn, leans over, and kisses Uriah firmly on the mouth, her fingers sliding around his neck, under the collar of his shirt. I notice that all the peas have fallen off my fork, which was on its way to my mouth.**

 **Lynn grabs her tray and storms away from the table.**

" **What was that all about?" says Zeke.**

" **Don't ask me," says Hector. "She's always angry about something. I've stopped trying to keep track."**

"I'm not angry all the time," Lynn grumbles.

"You're not all sunshine and rainbows either," Zeke says.

"That's why Lynn and Marlene are such good friends," Uriah says. "They balance each other out."

"That's really clever Uriah," Shauna says.

"You shouldn't sound so surprised Shauna," Uriah says.

"I didn't mean it like that," Shauna says. "It just isn't often a guy would notice such things."

"So what? Now all men are stupid?" Zeke asks.

"Don't put words in my mouth," Shauna says.

"STOP!" I shout. "You have just got back to being friendly, don't ruin it because of a misunderstanding. There is enough shit happening without making more."

The room goes silent with a few heads bowing. They know what I am saying is right. This isn't just about Tris and I trying to stay together through what we read, we all need to try and stay together.

"Just read Will," I say.

 **Uriah's and Marlene's faces are still close together. And they are still smiling.**

 **I force myself to stare at my plate. It is so strange to see two people you have known separately join together, though I have watched it happen before. I hear a squeak as Christina scratches her plate with her fork idly.**

" **Four!" Zeke calls out, beckoning. He looks relieved. "C'mere, there's room."**

 **Tobias rests his hand on my good shoulder. A few of his knuckles are split, and the blood looks fresh. "Sorry, I can't stay."**

"You're not going to eat cake?" Uriah says. "Well I wasn't expecting that."

 **He leans down and says, "Can I borrow you for a while?"**

 **I get up, waving a good-bye to everyone at the table who is paying attention—which is just Zeke, really, because Christina and Hector are staring at their plates, and Uriah and Marlene are talking quietly. Tobias and I walk out of the cafeteria.**

" **Where are we going?"**

" **The train," he says. "I have a meeting, and I want you there to help me read the situation."**

"Couldn't you just take her on a date," Zeke groans.

"Maybe meeting is like a code word for date," Uriah says.

"Why would meeting be a code word for date?" Zeke asks.

"I don't know," Uriah says. "I'm sure that not all Abnegation couples would be able to stick to their stupid rules. Maybe it is like a code word for going on a date."

"Except their not in Abnegation dummy," Zeke says.

"I don't know they are both kinda shy about their relationship maybe they are using Abnegation code words," Uriah replies.

Tris and I can't stop laughing. This is the funniest thing to watch.

"What's so funny?" Zeke and Uriah asks at the same time.

"You two," I say. "There are no Abnegation code words for going on dates."

"How would you know you're not Abnegation," Lynn says.

"Even so," I say. "Listening to these two clowns is hilarious."

"You got the clown part right," Eric says.

"What? It could happen," Uriah says.

 **We walk up one of the paths that lines the Pit walls, toward the stairs that lead us to the Pire. "Why do you need me to—"**

" **Because you're better at it than I am."**

 **I don't have a response to that. We ascend the stairs and cross the glass floor. On our way out, we walk through the dank room in which I faced my fear landscape. Judging by the syringe on the floor, someone has been there recently.**

" **Did you go through your fear landscape today?" I say.**

" **What makes you say that?" His dark eyes skirt mine. He pushes the front door open, and the summer air swims around me. There is no wind.**

" **Your knuckles are cut up and someone's been using that room."**

"How can you keep going through that?" Zeke says shaking his head.

I don't bother answering him. Nothing I say will appease him.

" **This is exactly what I mean. You're far more perceptive than most." He checks his watch. "They told me to catch the one leaving at 8:05. Come on."**

"Who are you meeting?" Zeke asks.

"I bet it's Evelyn," Tris says.

"I think you're right," I say.

"Why would you want to meet _her_?" Zeke says.

"You need the numbers," Eric says.

"Great," Uriah sighs.

"What?" I ask.

"Do you think you can trust her?" Uriah asks.

"I doubt it," I say.

 **I feel a surge of hope. Maybe we won't argue this time. Maybe things will finally get better between us.**

"We hope so," Zeke says.

 **We walk to the tracks. The last time we did this, he wanted to show me that the lights were on in the Erudite compound, wanted to tell me that Erudite was planning an attack on Abnegation. Now I get the sense we are about to meet with the factionless.**

" **Perceptive enough to know you're evading the question," I say.**

 **He sighs. "Yes, I went through my fear landscape. I wanted to see if it had changed."**

" **And it has. Hasn't it?"**

"How do you know this?" Zeke asks Tris. "It's like you have a secret language between you."

"Why do you think that?" I ask.

"You have hardly spoken for days, every time you do talk you fight. But you still can read each other. It's scary." Zeke says.

"I think what you are looking at is true love," Tori says.

I look down at Tris and she is looking up at me. We both smile at the same time.

"Ugh," Zeke moans. "You make us all look bad."

"That's not true," Tris says. "You have stuck by Shauna. A lot of guys wouldn't have done that."

Zeke sits up straighter and puffs his chest out. Which has most of the room laughing.

"Keep reading Will," I say.

 **He brushes a stray hair away from his face and avoids my eyes. I didn't know his hair was so thick—it was hard to tell when it was buzzed short, Abnegation hair, but now it's two inches long and almost hangs over his forehead. It makes him look less threatening, more like the person I've come to know in private.**

"I think you should grow your hair Four," Christina says.

"Hoping I won't be as intimidating Christina?" I ask with a smirk.

"Maybe," Christina shyly replies.

" **Yes," he says. "But the number is still the same."**

"You need to stop obsessing over your fears Four," Lynn says.

"Save your breath Lynn," Zeke says. "He can't help himself."

 **I hear the train horn blasting to my left, but the light fixed to the first car is not on. Instead it slides over the rails like some hidden, creeping thing.**

" **Fifth car back!" he shouts.**

 **We both break into a sprint. I find the fifth car and grab the handle on the side with my left hand, pulling as hard as I can. I try to swing my legs inside, but they don't quite make it; they are dangerously close to the wheels—I shriek, and scrape my knee against the floor as I yank myself inside.**

 **Tobias gets in after me and crouches by my side. I clutch my knee and grit my teeth.**

" **Here, let me see," he says. He pushes my jeans up my leg and over my knee. His fingers leave streaks of cold on my skin, invisible to the eye, and I think about wrapping his shirt around my fist and pulling him in to kiss me; I think about pressing myself against him, but I can't, because all our secrets would keep a space between us.**

"I think you're wrong," Marlene says. "A good kiss will make it _all_ better."

 **My knee is red with blood. "It's shallow. It'll heal quickly," he says.**

 **I nod. The pain is already subsiding. He rolls my jeans so they will stay up. I lie back, staring at the ceiling.**

" **So is** _ **he**_ **still in your fear landscape?" I say.**

 **It looks like someone lit a match behind his eyes. "Yes. But not in the same way."**

 **He told me, once, that his fear landscape hadn't changed since he first went through it, during his initiation. So if it has, even in a small way, that's something.**

" **You're in it, though." He frowns at his hands. "Instead of having to shoot that woman, like I used to, I have to watch you die. And there's nothing I can do to stop it."**

"What woman?" Zeke asks.

I almost forgot that they didn't get to see my fear landscape because of Uriah.

"Does it matter?" I ask.

"No," Zeke replies. "But I'd still like to know." Zeke raises an eyebrow and I just shake my head.

 **His hands shake. I try to think of something helpful to say.** _ **I'm not going to die**_ **—but I don't know that. We live in a dangerous world, and I am not so attached to life that I will do anything to survive. I can't reassure him.**

 **He checks his watch. "They'll be here any minute."**

 **I get up, and see Evelyn and Edward standing next to the tracks. They run before the train passes them, and jump in with almost as little trouble as Tobias. They must have been practicing.**

 **Edward smirks at me. Today his eye patch has a big blue "X" stitched over it.**

"Do you think that's all he does all day?" Lynn asks.

"What?" Eric asks.

"Edward, do you think he just designs weird eye patches to freak people out?" Lynn replies.

"Maybe," Eric says. "Who really knows what the factionless do."

" **Hello," Evelyn says. She looks only at Tobias as she says it, like I'm not even there.**

" **Nice meeting location," says Tobias. It is almost dark now, so I see only shadows of buildings against a dark blue sky, and a few glowing lights near the lake that must belong to Erudite headquarters.**

 **The train takes a turn it doesn't usually take—left, away from the glow of Erudite and into the abandoned part of the city. I can tell by the growing quiet in the car that it is slowing down.**

" **It seemed safest," says Evelyn. "So you wanted to meet."**

" **Yes. I'd like to discuss an alliance."**

" **An alliance," repeats Edward. "And who gave you the authority to do that?"**

" **He's a Dauntless leader," I say. "He has the authority."**

 **Edward raises his eyebrows, looking impressed. Evelyn's eyes finally shift to me, but only for a second before she smiles at Tobias again.**

" **Interesting," she says. "And is** _ **she**_ **also a Dauntless leader?"**

" _She_ really doesn't like you Tris," Christina states the obvious.

"You can understand it," Eric says. "Evelyn wants to be the most important woman in Four's life. She knows that while Tris is around she will never get to be that person. Not that she deserves it."

"That won't be happening," I say. " _Ever_."

"Evelyn won't understand that," Eric says. "She is to self-obsessed."

" **No," he says. "She's here to help me decide whether or not to trust you."**

 **Evelyn purses her lips. Part of me wants to thumb my nose at her and say, "Ha!" But I settle for a small smile.**

"I'd want to punch her in the nose," Lynn says.

" **We will, of course, agree to an alliance ... under a certain set of conditions," Evelyn says. "A guaranteed—and equal—place in whatever government forms after Erudite is destroyed, and full control over Erudite data after the attack. Clearly—"**

"What would she want with the data?" Tori asks.

" **What are you going to do with the Erudite data?" I interrupt her.**

" **Obviously we will destroy it. The only way to deprive the Erudite of power is to deprive them of knowledge."**

"That is ridiculous," Tori states. "Not all knowledge is dangerous."

"This sounds personal. Evelyn was originally from Erudite, you think she would be smarter than this," Eric says.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"What will happen if Erudite lose all their research? What will their doctors and other health professionals do? They help Amity with technology for growing food. If that is destroyed then that could affect crop production. There are a lot more areas that I could go on with but the bottom line is, is that destroying everything is not going to help the city as a whole. It will only serve Evelyn."

 **My first instinct is to tell her she's a fool. But something stops me. Without the simulation technology, without the data they had about all the other factions, without their focus on technological advancement, the attack on Abnegation would not have happened. My parents would be alive.**

 **Even if we manage to kill Jeanine, could the Erudite be trusted not to attack and control us again? I am not sure.**

"Tris you are thinking emotionally," Eric states. "Overall not all the information leads to death. Most will keep the city moving, thriving."

" **What would we receive in return, under those terms?" Tobias says.**

" **Our much-needed manpower, in order to take Erudite headquarters, and an equal place in government, with us."**

"I don't think I want to see what it will be like with Evelyn in charge of the government," Tris says.

"I think you might be right," I reply.

" **I am sure that Tori would also request the right to rid the world of Jeanine Matthews," he says in a low voice.**

 **I raise my eyebrows. I didn't know that Tori's hatred of Jeanine was common knowledge—or maybe it isn't. He must know things about her that others don't, now that he and Tori are leaders.**

"I thought that was what you must have talked about at your secret transfer meetings," Zeke jokes.

"Yep, we sit around plotting other people's demises," Tori chuckles.

" **I'm sure that could be arranged," Evelyn replies. "I don't care who kills her; I just want her dead."**

 _I wonder why Evelyn is so set on killing Jeanine._

 **Tobias glances at me. I wish I could tell him why I feel so conflicted ... explain to him why I, of all people, have reservations about burning Erudite to the ground, so to speak. But I would not know how to say it even if I had the time to. He turns toward Evelyn.**

" **Then we are agreed," he says.**

 **He extends his hand, and she shakes it.**

Uriah groans.

"What?" I ask.

"I think you just made a huge mistake," he says.

" **We should convene in a week's time," she says. "In neutral territory. Most of the Abnegation have graciously agreed to let us stay in their sector of the city to plan as they clean up the aftermath of the attack."**

" **Most of them," he says.**

"Marcus," Eric says.

 **Evelyn's expression turns flat. "I'm afraid your father still commands the loyalty of many of them, and he advised them to avoid us when he came to visit a few days ago." She smiles bitterly. "And they agreed, just as they did when he persuaded them to exile me."**

" **They exiled you?" says Tobias. "I thought you left."**

" **No, the Abnegation were inclined toward forgiveness and reconciliation, as you might expect. But your father has a lot of influence over the Abnegation, and he always has. I decided to leave rather than face the indignity of public exile."**

"I've never heard of that," Tris says.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Abnegation. They are all about selflessness. They wouldn't exile a member," Tris says.

"Do you think she is playing Four?" Eric says.

Tris looks at me and I can see the conflict on her face. She gives a small nod.

"I'm sorry Tobias," she whispers.

"It's not your fault Tris," I say. "The thing is, I think you might be right."

 **Tobias looks stunned.**

 **Edward, who has been leaning out the side of the car for a few seconds, says, "It's time!"**

" **See you in a week," Evelyn says.**

 **As the train dips down to street level, Edward leaps. A few seconds later, Evelyn follows. Tobias and I remain on the train, listening to it hiss against the rails, without speaking.**

" **Why did you even bring me along, if you were just going to make an alliance anyway?" I say flatly.**

" **You didn't stop me."**

" **What was I supposed to do, wave my hands in the air?" I scowl at him. "I don't like it."**

" **It has to be done."**

" **I don't think it does," I say. "There has to be another way—"**

" **What other way?" he says, folding his arms. "You just don't like her. You haven't since you first met her."**

"You wouldn't either if you heard what she said to Tris," Christina says.

" **Obviously I don't like her! She abandoned you!"**

" **They exiled her. And if I decide to forgive her, you had better try to do it too! I'm the one who got left behind, not you."**

"That's harsh," Eric says. "I really hope you two don't have to deal with Evelyn this time around."

" **This is about more than that. I don't trust her. I think she's trying to use you."**

" **Well, it isn't for you to decide."**

" **Why did you bring me, again?" I say, mirroring him by folding my arms. "Oh yeah—so that I could read the situation for you. Well, I read it, and just because you don't like what I decided doesn't mean—"**

" **I forgot about how your biases cloud your judgment. If I had remembered, I might not have brought you."**

" _ **My**_ **biases. What about** _ **your**_ **biases? What about thinking everyone who hates your father as much as you do is an ally?"**

" **This is not about him!"**

" **Of course it is! He knows things, Tobias. And we should be trying to find out what they are."**

" **This again? I thought we resolved this. He is a liar, Tris."**

" **Yeah?" I raise my eyebrows. "Well, so is your mother. You think the Abnegation would really exile someone? Because I don't."**

" **Don't talk about my mother that way."**

 **I see light up ahead. It belongs to the Pire.**

" **Fine." I walk to the edge of the car door. "I won't."**

 **I jump out, running a few steps to keep my balance. Tobias jumps out after me, but I don't give him a chance to catch up—I walk straight into the building, down the stairs, and back into the Pit to find a place to sleep.**

"This is not good," Marlene says.

"Looks like Evelyn is going to get what she wants," Lynn says. "She will get Four back and take control of the city."

"Do you all really think that she is that bad?" I ask. I know the answer, I just want someone to tell me she isn't the selfish person I think she is.

"Are you okay?" Tris asks.

"I'll be fine," I reply.

"I wouldn't worry about Evelyn or Marcus," Zeke says. "You have your Dauntless family. You don't need them."

"Thanks Zeke," I say with a small smile.

"That is the end of the chapter," Will says.

"Can we have an early dinner?" Uriah asks.

"Are you going to cook?" Eric asks.

"Do you want food poisoning?" Uriah replies.

"Fine," Eric grumbles.

"I'll help you," Lynn volunteers.

p/b

I flop on our bed and lay with my face down into the pillow. I feel Tris' hand on my shoulder.

"Are you sure you are alright?" She asks.

"I don't know," I say into the pillow.

"Tobias."

I just keep lying here. Not knowing what to think.

"Tobias," Tris says again. "Please don't shut me out."

I sigh and slowly turn around to face her. I pull Tris to me, making her lie next to me with my arms wrapped around her.

"I'm not meaning too," I say. "I hate that I am so desperate for her love. Or at least I am in the book."

"You don't want a relationship with her?"

"I was starting to think I did. But then you fell into my life. Then we start reading these books and I am thinking that I need to stay as far from her as I can."

"It's not wrong to want a relationship with her," Tris whispers.

"But what would the cost be?" I ask. "Evelyn is self-serving. I wonder how she lasted as long as she did in Abnegation. You are right, Abnegation wouldn't have exiled her. I keep wanting to see the good in her but I am starting to wonder if there is any in her."

"You don't have to make any decisions now. Maybe in the future you will want more."

"That's the thing Tris," I say. "I don't think I want to even consider it. Zeke was right I have my Dauntless family. I have you, I have our friends. I don't think I can trust her. I will always be left wondering what is truth and what is what she wants me to think."

"On the up side," Tris says. "We all could be dead by the end of the next book and you won't have to worry about it."

"Please don't joke about that," I say. "I don't know what I would do if I lost you."

"Dinners ready," Uriah says as he bursts through our door.

"Ever heard of knocking?" I ask.

"Yes, I'm not stupid Four," Uriah says.

"Maybe next time you could try knocking before entering our bedroom," I say with an eyebrow raised.

"Why would I want to do that?" Uriah asks with a cheeky grin on his face. He quickly runs out for the room before I can say anything else.


	27. Chapter 27

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

FOUR'S POV

 **CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX**

 **Something shakes me awake.**

" **Tris! Get up!"**

"This can't be good," Marlene says.

 **A shout. I don't question it. I throw my legs over the edge of the bed and let a hand pull me toward the door. My feet are bare, and the ground is uneven here. It scrapes at my toes and the edges of my heels. I squint ahead of me to figure out who's dragging me. Christina. She's almost pulling my left arm from its socket.**

" **What happened?" I say. "What's going on?"**

" **Shut up and run!"**

"What could have possibly happened now?" Tori sounds flustered.

 **We run to the Pit, and the roar of the river follows me up the paths. The last time Christina pulled me out of bed, it was to see Al's body lifted out of the chasm. I grit my teeth and try not to think about that. It can't have happened again. It can't.**

 **I gasp—she runs faster than I do—as we sprint across the glass floor of the Pire. Christina slams her palm into an elevator button and slips inside before the doors are fully open, dragging me behind her. She jabs the DOOR CLOSE button, and then the button for the top floor.**

" **Simulation," she says. "There's a simulation. It's not everyone, it's just ... just a few."**

"Oh God," Marlene groans.

 **She puts her hands on her knees and takes deep breaths.**

" **One of them said something about the Divergent," she says.**

" **Said that?" I say. "While under a simulation?"**

 **She nods. "Marlene. Didn't sound like her, though. Too ... monotone."**

"No," Marlene gasps.

"It's okay baby," Uriah softly speaks to Marlene as he rubs her back. "Tris is on it, everything will be okay."

 **The doors open, and I follow her down the hallway to the door marked ROOF ACCESS.**

" **Christina," I say, "why are we going to the roof?"**

 **She doesn't answer me. The stairs to the roof smell like old paint. Dauntless graffiti is scrawled on the cement-block walls in black paint. The symbol of Dauntless. Initials paired together with plus signs: RG + NT, BR + FH. Couples who are probably old now, maybe broken up. I touch my chest to feel my heartbeat. It's so fast, it's a wonder I'm still breathing at all.**

"Remember when we put our initials up there?" Zeke says to Shauna.

"Not now Zeke!" Uriah shouts.

The room is deathly silent.

 **The night air is cool; it gives me goose bumps on my arms. My eyes have adjusted to the darkness by now, and across the roof I see three figures standing on the ledge, facing me. One is Marlene. One is Hector. One is someone I don't recognize—a young Dauntless, barely eight years old, with a green streak in her hair.**

"Hector," Shauna and Lynn both say at the same time.

 **They stand still on the ledge, though the wind is blowing hard, tossing their hair over their foreheads, into their eyes, into their mouths. Their clothes snap in the wind, but still they stand motionless.**

" **Just come down off the ledge now," Christina says. "Don't do anything stupid. Come on, now ..."**

" **They can't hear you," I say quietly as I walk toward them. "Or see you."**

" **We should all jump at them at once. I'll take Hec, you—"**

" **We'll risk shoving them off the roof if we do that. Stand by the girl, just in case."**

 _ **She is too young for this**_ **, I think, but I don't have the heart to say it, because it means Marlene is old enough.**

I sob can be heard from Marlene. Uriah is whispering to her but it doesn't seem to be helping as tears start to fall down her face.

 **I stare at Marlene, whose eyes are blank like painted stones, like spheres of glass. I feel as if those stones are slipping down my throat and settling in my stomach, pulling me toward the ground. There is no way to get her off that ledge.**

Tris has raised her knees up to her chest and put her arms around her legs.

 **Finally she opens her mouth and speaks.**

" **I have a message for the Divergent." Her voice sounds flat. The simulation is using her vocal cords, but robs them of the natural fluctuations of human emotion.**

 **I look from Marlene to Hector. Hector, who was so afraid of what I am because his mother told him to be. Lynn is probably still at Shauna's bedside, hoping Shauna can move her legs when she wakes up again. Lynn can't lose Hector.**

"Why are they doing this?" Shauna asks.

 **I step forward to receive the message.**

" **This is not a negotiation. It is a warning," says the simulation through Marlene, moving her lips and vibrating in her throat. "Every two days until one of you delivers yourself to Erudite headquarters, this will happen again."**

 **This.**

 **Marlene steps back, and I throw myself forward, but not at her. Not at Marlene, who once let Uriah shoot a muffin off her head on a dare. Who gathered a stack of clothing for me to wear. Who always, always greeted me with a smile. No, not at Marlene.**

 **As Marlene and the other Dauntless girl step off the edge of the roof, I dive at Hector.**

"NO!" screams Marlene.

Before I can blink Uriah has jumped off his seat and has dived at Max. "I'm going to kill you," he screams at Max. "I am going to put a bullet in your fucking head."

I quickly jump up and Zeke and I are trying to wrestle Uriah from Max. I've have never seen this side of Uriah. "Let go!" he screams.

"You are going to die Max," Uriah is screaming.

"Get him out of here," I tell Eric.

Eric stands and motions for Max to go with him as Zeke and I try to subdue Uriah.

"Let me go," Uriah screams. "Let me go!"

Both Zeke and I hold Uriah as tight as we can but he is like a wild animal.

"Calm down," I sternly say.

"Fuck you Four," Uriah screams. "He has to die. He has to die."

"Uriah!" Lynn shouts but he isn't listening. I turn to see Shauna and Lynn trying to comfort Marlene who is in an uncontrollable fit of sobbing. The sight is heart breaking.

"Uriah," I say softly. Hoping that by talking to him calmly he may calm down a bit. It isn't working.

"Uriah, Marlene needs you," I say a little louder.

"What?" Uriah says, he has stopped trying to fight Zeke and I. Uriah turns and for the first time since he jumped off the couch he looks at Marlene.

"Let me go," Uriah says, speaking normally. "I need to go to Marlene."

Zeke and I let Uriah go and he rushes to Marlene's side, pushing both Lynn and Shauna aside.

"Four!" I turn to see Tori calling my name. She is sitting with Tris.

I stand there stunned for a moment as I watch Tris rocking back and forth mumbling something.

"Four," Tori says again.

I quickly move to Tris' side and I can hear what she is saying. "I should have saved her. I should have saved her. I should have saved her," she is saying over and over. I sit down and try talking to Tris but she doesn't seem to be hearing me.

I look around the room. Eric and Max have both left, which is about the only thing that is keeping them safe right now. Christina and Will seem stunned, both sitting not moving, not knowing what they should do. Shauna and Zeke are both trying to console Uriah and Marlene.

The room stays like this for at least ten minutes. Slowly we hear Marlene's sob start to slow. Tris hasn't stopped mumbling to herself or rocking. I can't seem to get through to her. Then Marlene pushes past the people around her and comes over to Tris.

Marlene wraps her arms around Tris and with tears streaming down her face she tells Tris that it isn't her fault. I don't think there is a dry eye in the room. Tris looks up at Marlene, it's the first time she has acknowledge anyone since Marlene went off the roof in the story.

"I'm sorry," Tris whispers and wraps her arms around Marlene as they both cry together.

"How stupid are you Christina?" Lynn shouts.

"What are you talking about?" Christina snaps at Lynn.

"Why would you only get one person to help you? There were three of them," Lynn shouts as she lunges towards Christina.

Will jumps up to block Christina from Lynn and it gets him a punch to the face. He is trying to push her away but Lynn is strong and he isn't going to last much longer.

Just as I am about to go over to Lynn, Eric comes into the room and grabs hold of Lynn. She starts to kick and scream and scratch at him but he doesn't let go. He drags her as far as he can from Will and Christina. Christina is crying and Will is trying to calm her down.

Lynn is screaming obscenities between whatever she is saying to Eric. I can't understand her but she is pissed.

"I don't have to take this," Christina says as she storms out the room with Will following.

"I'm going to go and check on Christina," Tori says as she rises from her spot next to Marlene and Tris.

Uriah gets up from his spot between Zeke and Shauna. He brushes away the tears as he goes to sit with Marlene and Tris. He wraps his arms around both girls

"I know none of you want to hear this right now," I say. "But I think we need to try and finish this chapter."

"How do you expect us to do that?" Uriah spits at me.

"Because I think it is going to be a lot harder to try and do if we leave it until tomorrow. I don't want to have to relive this again. I don't think anyone else does either. Let's just get through it and then take a break for the night. Maybe not read anything tomorrow."

"I think Four's right," Zeke softly speaks. "The sooner we get through this chapter the better."

"I'm going to kill him," Uriah says. "When we leave here I am going to put a bullet in his head if he decides to help Jeanine."

"I don't think you will get an argument from anyone here," I say. "But for now, we have to remember that this hasn't happened yet. We can still change this."

"Do you think you can continue?" Tris asks Marlene.

"Yeah," Marlene replies. Her voice is hoarse, she sounds drained.

"I'll go and find the others," Zeke says.

"I'll come with you," Shauna tells him.

"Can we sit here?" Marlene asks Uriah.

"You sit with Tris," Uriah says. "Four and I can sit together."

I think we both can see that the girls need to be together right now. It's not like we aren't nearby. I watch as Lynn walks over to Tris and Marlene and sits with them. All three holding each others hands. It's actually beautiful to see, I just wish that it wasn't under these circumstances. Although it wouldn't mean as much if it wasn't.

The room quickly fills with everyone back. Death glares are being beamed around the room. Christina looks livid, which is understandable. Lynn just attacked her for something she hasn't done yet. For the first time Max looks nervous, again understandable. I wouldn't want Uriah as an enemy. For all the joking and fun, he is strong and a lot younger than Max. I'm sure if it came down to it, Max wouldn't stand a chance against Uriah.

"Just start reading Will," I tell him.

 **I grab whatever my hands can find. An arm. A fistful of shirt. The rough rooftop scrapes my knees as his weight drags me forward. I am not strong enough to lift him. I whisper, "Help," because I can't speak any louder than that.**

 **Christina is already at my shoulder. She helps me haul Hector's limp body onto the roof. His arm flops to the side, lifeless. A few feet away, the little girl lies on her back on the rooftop.**

 **Then the simulation ends. Hector opens his eyes, and they are no longer empty.**

" **Ow," he says. "What's going on?"**

 **The little girl whimpers, and Christina walks over to her, mumbling something in a reassuring voice.**

 **I stand, my entire body shaking. I inch toward the edge of the roof and stare at the ground. The street below isn't lit very well, but I can see Marlene's faint outline on the pavement.**

Tris, Marlene and Lynn are holding tight to one another, all three have tears falling down their faces. I hate watching this. I feel so helpless.

 **Breathing—who cares about breathing?**

 **I turn from the sight, listening to my heart beat in my ears. Christina's mouth moves. I ignore her, and walk to the door and down the stairs and down the hallway and into the elevator.**

 **The doors close and as I drop to the earth, just as Marlene did after I decided not to save her, I scream, my hands tearing at my clothes. My throat is raw after just a few seconds, and there are scratches on my arms where I missed the fabric, but I keep screaming.**

"You didn't have a choice," Marlene whispers to Tris.

"I shouldn't have had to choose," Tris replies.

 **The elevator stops with a ding. The doors open.**

 **I straighten my shirt, smooth my hair down, and walk out.**

"That's a page break."

"Please tell us there isn't much more to this chapter," Shauna says.

"Only a few more lines," Will replies.

 _ **I have a message for the Divergent.**_

 **I am Divergent.**

 _ **This is not a negotiation.**_

 **No, it is not.**

 _ **It is a warning.**_

 **I understand.**

 _ **Every two days until one of you delivers yourself to Erudite headquarters ...**_

 **I will.**

 _ **... this will happen again.**_

 **It will never happen again.**

"That's the end of the chapter," Will says slamming the book shut.

Max, Christina and Will all get up and leave the room quietly.

Marlene starts to cry again and Uriah rushes over to her. "Come on babe, let's go to bed," he tells her.

Marlene hugs Tris and Lynn and gets up and takes Uriah's hand as he guides her out of the room.

"I'll see you in the morning," Tori says as she gets up and leaves.

"We're going to bed too," Zeke says. Shauna and Zeke leave the room.

It just leaves Tris, Lynn, Eric and I in the room. We all just sit silently for a few minutes. What can we say after what has happened. No one's death has affected so many so far. I know I am feeling completely drained.

"How could our world get so messed up?" Lynn asks finally breaking the silence.


	28. Chapter 28

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

FOUR'S POV

I wake to find Tris staring at me. "Hey," I say with a small smile.

We crashed as soon as we came back to our room last night. Emotionally drained from what happened in the book.

"Hey," Tris replies.

We lay here just staring, lost within each other. I don't want to move, I don't want to speak. I like this, no thoughts of what horror we may read about. Which one of us is next to die. Marlene's death has brought us into a reality we hadn't been taking seriously but now it seems to be weighing us all down.

There's a knock on our door and then I hear the handle move. Marlene strides into our room with a smile on her face and an X on her shirt. Tris and I both have our mouths hanging open, I don't think we could have pictured this Marlene today.

Marlene lifts the covers and slips into the bed next to Tris and gives her a big hug. "Thank you," she says. "I know you would have saved me if you could. I don't want you to feel bad about what happened."

"Okay," Tris hesitantly says.

"I'm not dead and I don't plan on dying anytime soon. So I have decided I am not going to dwell on what we read yesterday. Today is a new day and I want to start fresh."

"You could have told me there was a slumber party," Lynn says as she walks into our room and jumps onto the bed between Marlene and Tris.

"And that is my cue to leave," I say. Getting off the bed as quickly as possible.

"Pansycake," Uriah says as he enters the room. Laughing at me trying to get off the bed.

"How are you Marlene?" Lynn asks.

"I was just telling Tris and Four that I am not going to dwell on yesterday. I'm alive and plan on staying that way."

"What's going on in here?" Zeke asks as he sticks his head around the door.

"Four's scared of a bed full of hotties," Uriah says as he jumps onto the bed. Squeals and laughter coming from the girls. Much better sounds than what we heard last night.

"That shouldn't surprise you," Zeke says with a chuckle as he enters the room. "You seem better Marlene."

"Well I'm not dead," Marlene says. "So just happy to be breathing."

"Good to hear," Zeke says with a big smile as he dives across the girls.

"Get off you big lump," Lynn screams while laughing.

* * *

"How is Marlene?" Eric asks as we are eating breakfast.

"Surprisingly, good," I answer between bites of cereal. "She came into our room this morning and was her usual cheerful self."

"I'm glad. Last night was intense," Eric replies.

"Yeah. I hate knowing that there are more to come."

"Max was upset last night. I think it is the first time I have seen him react to what has been happening."

"Do you think it might sway him to stop what is happening?" I ask.

"I don't know. I still think it all hinges on Danni," Eric answers. "Maybe. He is so hard to read. I'm sure if it wasn't for Danni he would never have agree to Jeanine's plan in the first place."

"What will happen with initiation when we leave here?" I ask. "Do we just abandon it?"

"I suppose leadership will have to get together and make a decision," Eric says. "I'm sure Jeanine will be chomping at the bit to put her plan into motion. Especially now that it would have been put on hold."

"We could leave here and find that she has already gone ahead with it," I say.

"She wouldn't do that," Eric says. "Unless Abnegation have pissed her off that is. I think she will wait until Max and I are back. Jeanine needs to be in control at all times. She won't want to start anything unless she knows that she has complete control."

"Don't be too sure of that Eric," Max says as he sits down. "As controlled as Jeanine seems and the amount of back up plans she has in place. I wouldn't trust her. She can be volatile and she is more ruthless than any Dauntless."

"Still think you are on the right side Max?" I ask.

"Probably not," Max replies. "But I'm not going to do anything until I have read these books and see exactly how it is supposed to go. Exactly what all of this is about. I also have Danni to consider. I know you don't understand me Four but that is the way it is for now."

"You need to tell us why Danni wants Abnegation ruined," I say.

"No I don't," Max states. "I think you can gather that your father is involved."

I nod. We hear laughter coming from the top of the stairs.

"This isn't a conversation that should be said in front of others Four," Max says. "I would rather not have the conversation with you at all but I can also see you are determined to know the truth. We are just not going to be having it here."

"What about initiation?" I ask. I know Max isn't going to tell me more. At least now he is acknowledging that I need to know what is going on. I know it can't be good if Marcus is involved. I can also see that he isn't as resolute on Jeanine's plan either.

"I don't know," Max says.

"Shouldn't we just pass?" Lynn says as she joins us at the table.

"I don't think there is any issues with you passing Lynn," Max says. "But we don't know what will be going on when we leave here. Abnegation and Erudite could have already declared war on each other by the time we leave here."

"Do you think they will?" Tris asks as she sits next to me.

"I don't know Tris?" Max replies. "I think it will depend on whoever kidnapped us and whether they were able to stop any conflict until we return."

"I suppose we should just be grateful we are here," Zeke says.

"Why do you think that?" Max asks.

"Well four of us would be dead right now and one paralysed if we weren't," Zeke says.

* * *

"Do we need to recap what happened last time we read?" Will asks as he opens the book.

"I think we can all remember what happened," I say.

"I think there should be a few apologies made," Christina says.

"You have to be joking," Lynn spits.

"No. You were going to attack me," Christina states.

"Stop!" I demand. "Last night was emotional for everyone. Let's just let it go and move on."

Christina opens her mouth and I stare her down. She quickly closes her mouth.

"Start reading Will," I say. I can already feel a headache coming on and we haven't even started reading yet.

 **CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN**

 **I weave through the crowd next to the chasm. It's loud in the Pit, and not just because of the river's roar. I want to find some silence, so I escape into the hallway that leads to the dormitories. I don't want to hear the speech Tori will make on Marlene's behalf or be around for the toasting and the shouting as the Dauntless celebrate her life and her bravery.**

"Tris," Marlene sighs.

"I don't think it's because I don't want to celebrate your life Marlene," Tris says. "I think it would be more about being too upset to cope with it."

 **This morning Lauren reported that we missed some of the cameras in the initiate dormitories, where Christina, Zeke, Lauren, Marlene, Hector, and Kee, the girl with the green hair, were sleeping. That's how Jeanine figured out who the simulation was controlling. I do not doubt that Jeanine chose young Dauntless because she knew their deaths would affect us more.**

"How can Jeanine justify what she is doing?" Shauna asks.

"A few days ago you were hating on the Divergent," I say. "Is that any different from Jeanine?"

"I'm not a murderer Four," Shauna spits.

"May as well be if you are going to take their side," I say.

"I said I was sorry. I didn't know," Shauna defends.

"I'm sure Jeanine thinks the same way," I say.

"Four," Zeke warns.

"Fine," I mumble.

 **I stop in an unfamiliar hallway and press my forehead to the wall. The stone feels rough and cool on my skin. I can hear the Dauntless shouting behind me, their voices muffled by layers of rock.**

 **I hear someone approaching, and look to the side. Christina, still wearing the same clothes she wore last night, stands a few feet away.**

" **Hey," she says.**

" **I'm not really in the mood to feel more guilt right now. So go away, please."**

"You tell her Tris," Lynn cheers.

Christina sends Lynn a death glare and Lynn just laughs at her.

" **I just want to say one thing, and then I will."**

 **Her eyes are puffy and her voice sounds a little sleepy, which is either due to exhaustion or a little alcohol, or both. But her stare is direct enough that she must know what she's saying. I pull away from the wall.**

"This ought to be good," Eric chuckles.

"Why?" Zeke asks.

"Candor," Eric states. "It's not like she will filter what she is going to say."

" **I'd never seen that kind of simulation before. You know, from the outside. But yesterday ..." She shakes her head. "You were right. They couldn't hear you, couldn't see you. Just like Will ..."**

 **She chokes on his name. Stops, takes a breath, swallows hard. Blinks a few times. Then looks at me again.**

" **You told me you had to do it, or he would have shot you, and I didn't believe you. I believe you now, and ... I'm going to try to forgive you. That's ... all I wanted to say."**

"So nice of you to realise your _friend_ wasn't lying," Eric says, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

 **There's a part of me that feels relief. She believes me, she's trying to forgive me, even though it won't be easy.**

 **But a larger part of me feels anger. What did she think, before now? That I wanted to shoot Will, one of my best friends? She should have trusted me from the beginning, should have known that I wouldn't have done it if I had been able to see another option at the time.**

" **How fortunate for me that you finally got** _ **proof**_ **that I'm not a cold-blooded murderer. You know, other than my word. I mean, what reason would you have to trust that?" I force a laugh, trying to stay nonchalant. She opens her mouth, but I keep talking, unable to stop myself. "You'd better hurry on that forgiving-me thing, because there isn't much time—"**

Clapping. That's all I can hear, loud clapping. Lynn, Eric, Zeke, Uriah and Tori are all clapping. "Finally," Uriah says.

"Why are you clapping?" Tris asks.

"Because Miss Prior, you finally spoke your mind to her," Zeke says.

"Why are you being so mean to me?" Christina wails.

"Do you not realise what a bitch you have been? Both in the book and here," Marlene says.

"I said I was sorry the other day," Christina defends.

"So?" Lynn says.

"Just read Will," I say.

The room is so volatile right now.

 **My voice cracks, and I can't hold myself together anymore. I start sobbing. I lean against the wall for support and feel myself sliding down as my legs get weak.**

 **My eyes are too blurry to see her, but I feel her when she wraps her arms around me and squeezes so hard it hurts. She smells like coconut oil and she feels strong, exactly like she was during initiation into Dauntless, when she hung over the chasm by her fingertips. Back then—which was not so long ago—she made me feel weak, but now her strength makes me feel like I could be stronger too.**

 **We kneel together on the stone floor, and I clutch her as tightly as she clutches me.**

" **It's already done," she says. "That's what I meant to say. That the forgiving was already done."**

"Does that mean their friendship will go back to how it was?" Shauna asks.

"What difference will it make?" I ask.

"Well as Tris in the book said, Christina made her feel weak. Do you think that will happen again because I don't want to have to listen to that again," Shauna says.

"We will just have to wait and see," I say.

"That's a page break," Will says.

 **All the Dauntless go quiet when I walk into the cafeteria that night. I don't blame them. As one of the Divergent, I have the power to let Jeanine kill one of them. Most of them probably want me to sacrifice myself. Or they are terrified that I won't.**

 **If this were Abnegation, no Divergent would be sitting here right now.**

"Lucky you're not in Abnegation anymore," Lynn says.

 **For a moment I don't know where to go or how to get there. But then Zeke waves me over to his table, looking grim, and I guide my feet in that direction. But before I make it there, Lynn approaches me.**

 **She is a different Lynn from the one I have always known. She doesn't have a fierce look in her eyes. Instead she is pale and biting her lip to hide its wobble.**

"I hope I never have to see that Lynn," Marlene says.

"Well you're dead so you probably won't," Eric says.

"Eric!" Lynn shouts.

"What?" Eric asks. "If we don't laugh about this shit then we are going to go insane listening to this crap."

" **Um ..." she says. She looks to the left, to the right, anywhere but at my face. "I really ... I miss Marlene. I've known her for a long time, and I ..." She shakes her head. "The point is, don't think that my saying this means anything about Marlene," she says, like she's scolding me, "but ... thank you for saving Hec."**

 **Lynn shifts her weight from one foot to the other, her eyes flicking around the room. Then she hugs me with one arm, her hand gripping my shirt. Pain shoots through my shoulder. I don't say anything about it.**

"Lynn that was like one of the nicest gestures you have ever done," Uriah says.

"Stop making me out to be such a horrible person," Lynn says to Uriah. "I think you forget about some of the nice things I have done for you."

"Good point," Uriah says.

"What sort of things have you done?" Tris asks.

"She beat Gabe up for me when we were seven," Uriah says.

"You call that being nice?" Christina asks.

"He tried to steal Uriah's cake. I was being nice to Uriah. Gabe on the other hand, he deserves everything he gets," Lynn says.

"You just don't like him because he is always hitting on you," Uriah says.

"Yeah well he should have learnt the first time that I wasn't interested," Lynn says.

"What did you do to him?" I ask.

Marlene, Shauna and Uriah start to laugh.

"He tried to kiss Lynn when we were ten," Marlene says. "She gave him a black eye and broke one of his fingers. The problem was he thought that because Lynn is such a badass that she was flirting with him."

This makes everyone laugh.

 **She lets go, sniffs, and walks back to her table like nothing happened. I stare at her retreating back for a few seconds, and then sit down.**

 **Zeke and Uriah sit side by side at the otherwise empty table. Uriah's face is slack, like he's not completely awake. He has a dark brown bottle in front of him that he sips from every few seconds.**

"Oh Uriah," Marlene sighs. "You shouldn't be drinking your sadness away."

 **I feel cautious around him. I saved Hec—which means I failed to save Marlene. But Uriah doesn't look at me. I pull out the chair across from him and sit on the edge of it.**

" **Where's Shauna?" I say. "Still in the hospital?"**

" **No, she's over there," says Zeke, nodding to the table Lynn walked back to. I see her there, so pale she might as well be translucent, sitting in a wheelchair. "Shauna shouldn't be up, but Lynn's pretty messed up, so she's keeping her company."**

"Thanks Shauna," Lynn gives her sister a small smile.

" **But if you're wondering why they're all the way over there ... Shauna found out I'm Divergent," says Uriah sluggishly. "And she doesn't want to catch it."**

" **Oh."**

" **She got all weird with me, too," says Zeke, sighing. "'How do you know your brother isn't working against us? Have you been watching him?' What I wouldn't give to punch whoever poisoned her mind."**

"Sounds familiar," Zeke says.

"I said I was sorry," Shauna replies.

" **You don't have to give anything," says Uriah. "Her mother's sitting right there. Go ahead and hit her."**

 **I follow his gaze to a middle-aged woman with blue streaks in her hair and earrings all the way down her earlobe. She is pretty, just like Lynn.**

"Tris," Uriah whines. "Every time you say something like that." He shakes his head like he is trying to wipe an image from his brain.

"I'm sure Marlene can help you with that," I say with a smirk.

Uriah laughs.

 **Tobias enters the room a moment later, followed by Tori and Harrison. I have been avoiding him. I haven't spoken to him since that fight we had, before Marlene ...**

" **Hello, Tris," Tobias says when I'm close enough to hear him. His voice is low, rough. It transports me to quiet places.**

" **Hi," I say in a tight little voice that does not belong to me.**

 **He sits next to me and puts his arm on the back of my chair, leaning close. I don't stare back—I refuse to stare back.**

 **I stare back.**

Zeke starts to laugh. "You are funny Tris. Can't help yourself around him can you?"

"It's a good sign," Shauna says. "With how they have been acting towards each other it is good that they still have that effect on each other."

 **Dark eyes—a peculiar shade of blue, somehow capable of shutting the rest of the cafeteria out, of comforting me and also of reminding me that we are farther away from each other than I want us to be.**

" **Aren't you going to ask me if I'm all right?" I say.**

" **No, I'm pretty sure you're not all right." He shakes his head. "I'm going to ask you not to make any decisions until we've talked about it."**

"Do you think you have a right to say that?" Tori asks.

"Would you rather I didn't ask the question?" I ask Tori.

"No, but Four it's not like the two of you have been communicating," Tori says.

"I understand that Tori," I say.

 **It's too late, I think. The decision's made.**

"I can't believe you are thinking of doing what Jeanine wants," Uriah says.

"Someone has too," Tris says.

"No they don't," Uriah says. "It's not your fault Marlene died. It's Jeanine's. You should be looking at this differently. You saved Hector, that was a pretty amazing thing that you did."

"But Marlene is still dead," Tris says.

"But that still isn't your fault. Jeanine did it," Uriah says.

"He is right Tris," Marlene says.

"I s'pose," Tris mumbles.

" **Until we've all talked about it, you mean, since it involves all of us," says Uriah. "I don't think anyone should turn themselves in."**

"It amazes me how we think similar to how we do in the book," Uriah says.

"I don't know why," Tori says. "It is still you in the book."

"I get that, it's just weird to hear it," Uriah says.

" **No one?" I say.**

" **No!" Uriah scowls. "I think we should attack back."**

" **Yeah," I say hollowly, "let's provoke the woman who can force half of this compound to kill themselves. That sounds like a great idea."**

 **I was too harsh. Uriah tips the contents of his bottle down his throat. He brings the bottle down on the table so hard I'm afraid it will shatter.**

" **Don't talk about it like that," he says in a growl.**

" **I'm sorry," I say. "But you know I'm right. The best way to ensure that half our faction doesn't die is to sacrifice one life."**

"You are thinking too much like an Abnegation," Eric says.

"Well how would you be thinking in that situation Eric?" Tris snaps. "I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't be in the best frame of mind after what we read last night. I bet if you weren't dead you would be sitting right there with Jeanine. Maybe even picking who the next person is."

"Fuck you Tris," Eric snaps. "You have no idea what I would be thinking."

"Thank God for that," Tris says.

 **I don't know what I expected. Maybe that Uriah, who knows too well what will happen if one of us does not go, would volunteer himself. But he looks down. Unwilling.**

"Does that mean you didn't get Abnegation on your aptitude test Uriah," Zeke jokes.

"You're not getting it out of me Zeke," Uriah says.

"It was worth a try," Zeke says with a shrug.

" **Tori and Harrison and I decided to increase security. Hopefully if everyone is more aware of these attacks, we will be able to stop them," Tobias says. "If it doesn't work, then we will think of another solution. End of discussion. But no one is going to do anything yet. Okay?"**

 **He looks at me when he asks and raises his eyebrows.**

" **Okay," I say, not quite meeting his eyes.**

"Man, someone needs to tie Tris down," Zeke says.

"Page break," Will says.

 **After dinner, I try to go back to the dormitory where I've been sleeping, but I can't quite walk through the door. Instead I walk through the corridors, brushing the stone walls with my fingers, listening to the echoes of my footsteps.**

 **Without meaning to, I pass the water fountain where Peter, Drew, and Al attacked me. I knew it was Al by the way he smelled—I can still call the scent of lemongrass to mind. Now I associate it not with my friend but with the powerlessness I felt as they dragged me to the chasm.**

 **I walk faster, keeping my eyes wide open so it will be harder to picture the attack in my mind. I have to get away from here, far from the places where my friend attacked me, where Peter stabbed Edward, where a sightless army of my friends began its march toward the Abnegation sector and all this insanity began.**

"When we get back to Dauntless," Marlene says. "We need to start making happy memories for Tris in Dauntless. There are too many sad things to remember."

"That would be nice Marlene," Tris says with a small smile.

 **I go straight toward the last place where I felt safe: Tobias's small apartment. The second I reach the door, I feel calmer.**

 **The door is not completely closed. I nudge it open with my foot. He isn't there, but I don't leave. I sit on his bed and gather the quilt in my arms, burying my face in the fabric and taking deep breaths of it through my nose. The smell it used to have is almost gone, it's been so long since he slept on it.**

 **The door opens and Tobias slips in. My arms go limp, and the quilt falls into my lap. How will I explain my presence here? I'm supposed to be angry with him.**

 **He doesn't scowl, but his mouth is so tense that I know he's angry with** _ **me**_ **.**

" **Don't be an idiot," he says.**

"That's the way to start a conversation," Zeke teases.

No use making a comment, Zeke will slaughter whatever I say.

" **An idiot?"**

" **You were lying. You said you wouldn't go to Erudite, and you were lying, and going to Erudite would make you an idiot. So don't."**

 **I set the blanket down and get up.**

" **Don't try to make this simple," I say. "It's not. You know as well as I do that this is the right thing to do."**

Uriah, Lynn and Zeke all groan.

" **You choose** _ **this**_ **moment to act like the Abnegation?" His voice fills the room and makes fear prickle in my chest. His anger seems too sudden. Too strange. "All that time you spent insisting that you were too selfish for them, and now, when your** _ **life**_ **is on the line, you've got to be a hero? What's wrong with you?"**

"Probably not the best approach," Zeke says.

"How would you deal with the situation Zeke?" I ask. "Because Tris is about to sacrifice herself to Erudite. Should I just let her walk out the door?"

"No I didn't mean it like that," Zeke defends. "I don't know Four."

"Then back off the comments," I snap.

"Calm down Four," Zeke says.

"I think we all need to calm down," Tori says. "Just read Will."

" **What's wrong with** _ **you**_ **? People died. They walked right off the edge of a building! And I can stop it from happening again!"**

" **You're too important to just ... die." He shakes his head. He won't even look at me—his eyes keep shifting across my face, to the wall behind me or the ceiling above me, to everything but me. I am too stunned to be angry.**

" **I'm not important. Everyone will do just fine without me," I say.**

"That's not true Tris," Uriah says.

" **Who cares about everyone? What about** _ **me**_ **?"**

"Ohhh," Marlene and Shauna say at the same time.

 **He lowers his head into his hand, covering his eyes. His fingers are trembling.**

 **Then he crosses the room in two long strides and touches his lips to mine. Their gentle pressure erases the past few months, and I am the girl who sat on the rocks next to the chasm, with river spray on her ankles, and kissed him for the first time. I am the girl who grabbed his hand in the hallway just because I wanted to.**

Tris grabs hold of me a little tighter. I look down and see a tear falling down her cheek. I quickly wipe it away but it is replaced by another one.

"Hey, it's okay Tris," I whisper. Not wanting to draw attention to us.

"I don't think it is Tobias," Tris says. "Promise me we will never end up like that."

"I can't," I say. "But I will promise you that I will try hard not to end up like that."

 **I pull back, my hand on his chest to keep him away. The problem is, I am also the girl who shot Will and lied about it, and chose between Hector and Marlene, and now a thousand other things besides. And I can't erase those things.**

" **You would be fine." I don't look at him. I stare at his T-shirt between my fingers and the black ink curling around his neck, but I don't look at his face. "Not at first. But you would move on, and do what you have to."**

 **He wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me against him. "That's a** _ **lie**_ **," he says, before he kisses me again.**

I hear a sob and look over to see Marlene is crying. "I'm sorry," Marlene says. "I just wish that this wasn't happening."

 **This is wrong. It's wrong to forget who I have become, and to let him kiss me when I know what I'm about to do.**

 **But I want to. Oh, I want to.**

"Just go with it," Zeke says.

 **I stand on my tiptoes and wrap my arms around him. I press one hand between his shoulder blades and curl the other one around the back of his neck. I can feel his breaths against my palm, his body expanding and contracting, and I know he's strong, steady, unstoppable. All things I need to be, but I am not, I am not.**

"Yes you are Tris," Lynn says.

 **He walks backward, pulling me with him so I stumble. I stumble right out of my shoes. He sits on the edge of the bed and I stand in front of him, and we're finally eye to eye.**

 **He touches my face, covering my cheeks with his hands, sliding his fingertips down my neck, fitting his fingers to the slight curve of my hips.**

 **I can't stop.**

 **I fit my mouth to his, and he tastes like water and smells like fresh air. I drag my hand from his neck to the small of his back, and put it under his shirt. He kisses me harder.**

"Please don't have sex," Zeke says.

"What?" I almost shout.

"I don't want to have to read about you two having sex," Zeke says.

"You'd rather be sitting in the pit drinking while you heard about it?" I ask.

"Yes, it sounds so much better when there is alcohol involved," Zeke says.

"Except that it is usually you doing all the talking," I say.

"You talk about our sex life?" Shauna shouts at Zeke while smacking at him.

"Um . . . no," Zeke hesitantly says.

"You idiot," Shauna shrieks.

"How else is he going to learn anything," Zeke defends.

"Hey! Sitting right here," I say.

"Can we please stop this conversation," Eric says. "I don't want to hear about either of you and sex."

"What? Frustrated are we?" Zeke teases Eric.

"Don't go there Zeke," Eric warns.

"Better start reading again Will," Shauna says.

 **I knew he was strong; I didn't know how strong until I felt it myself, the muscles in his back tightening beneath my fingers.**

 _ **Stop**_ **, I tell myself.**

 **Suddenly it's as if we're in a hurry, his fingertips brushing my side under my shirt, my hands clutching at him, struggling closer but there is no closer. I have never longed for someone this way, or this much.**

"La la la la la," Zeke says as he covers his ears and has his eyes shut tight.

I throw a pillow at Zeke.

 **He pulls back just enough to look into my eyes, his eyelids lowered.**

" **Promise me," he whispers, "that you won't go. For me. Do this one thing for me."**

 **Could I do that? Could I stay here, fix things with him, let someone else die in my place? Looking up at him, I believe for a moment that I could. And then I see Will. The crease between his eyebrows. The empty, simulation-bound eyes. The slumped body.**

I sigh heavily. I understand why she is thinking this way. But I don't like listening to it.

"Can someone please shut him up," Eric says pointing to Zeke. Who still has his ears covered and eyes tightly shut.

Lynn stands up and goes over to Zeke and punches him on the shoulder.

"Ouch," Zeke cries out. "What was that for?"

"You're annoying the shit out of everyone," Eric says.

"Did you have to hit me?" Zeke asks.

"Could have been worse," Eric says.

"How?" Zeke asks.

"I could have hit you," Eric says.

"Fair point," Zeke replies.

 _ **Do this one thing for me**_ **. Tobias's dark eyes plead with me.**

 **But if I don't go to Erudite, who will? Tobias? It's the kind of thing he would do.**

 **I feel a stab of pain in my chest as I lie to him. "Okay."**

" **Promise," he says, frowning.**

 **The pain becomes an ache, spreads everywhere—all mixed together, guilt and terror and longing. "I promise."**

"Staying in Candor and being given truth serum hasn't helped you much Tris," Lynn says.

"That's the end of the chapter," Will says.

Zeke lets out a sigh. We all look at him.

"What? I'm glad we didn't have to read about them doing it," Zeke says with a chuckle.

"Let's take a small break," I say. I get up and walk out of the room.

* * *

"Are you okay?" Tris asks as she enters our room.

"Not really," I say.

"Tobias it hasn't happened," she says.

"I know," I say. "I just don't think I can handle reading this anymore. You are going to go to Erudite. I don't want to have to think about what they will do to you. I hate knowing that we haven't been getting along, I can't imagine ever acting the way I have with you."

Tris lays down next to me and puts her head on my chest. "I love you Tobias."

"I love you too," I say wrapping my arms around her.

* * *

 ** _AN: Sorry guys but this is the last chapter for a few weeks. Will be back soon. D Y K_**


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: When I said I was only going to be a few weeks before I updated, I thought that was all it was going to be. Without going into personal stuff I will just say that sometimes life sucks. But on a happier note, I only have one more chapter to write and the story is finished. To all the reviewers, people who have PM'd me and the friends I chat to regularly, thank you for your support. It has meant the world to me. You know who you are and I just can't thank you all enough for the support. For the people who like to shout at me in capitals when they review, just to let you know, it does not motivate me to write any quicker, if anything it usually has me turning the computer off and finding something else to do for the day. I'm sure some of you won't like the direction of the next few chapters but it will improve for our favourite couple eventually, I couldn't expect them to sit there day after day reading about what they were doing and it not affect them.**

* * *

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

FOUR'S POV

I feel something poking my cheek, I reach out to swat it away and hit something. I grab quickly at it and here a squeal as someone tries to pull away from me. At the same time I pull them towards me and open my eyes to see Lynn landing on a sleeping Tris.

Tris screams as Lynn lands on her and I let Lynn go. Lynn is trying to get off Tris as Uriah comes running into the room. "What are you three doing?" Uriah asks.

Lynn falls back on the bed between Tris and I and says, "I came to wake them up so we could start reading the next chapter."

"Did you have to poke me?" I ask.

"I didn't know you would react like that," Lynn replies gruffly.

Tris starts to laugh as Marlene comes bounding into the room, stopping in her tracks when she sees the three of us in bed.

"Why wasn't I invited?" Marlene asks with a cheeky smile on her face.

I groan and try to move further away from Lynn but with three of us on the bed it is a little difficult.

"Poor Four," Uriah jokes. "All these woman in your bed and you don't have a clue."

"One is enough," I say as I get off the bed. "Did you say something about reading more chapters?"

"Yeah," Lynn says. "We didn't know you were going to have a nap."

"We didn't mean too," Tris whines. "Let's go and get this over with."

* * *

We get down stairs to see everyone sitting around waiting to start to read.

"About time," Zeke huffs. "What were you doing?"

"They fell asleep," Lynn replies.

"Ready?" Will asks as he opens the book.

"Where are we up to?" Uriah asks.

"Four just begged Tris not to go to Erudite," Eric says.

"Ahhh, that's right," Uriah says nodding his head.

 **CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT**

 **When he starts to fall asleep, he keeps his arms around me fiercely, a life-preserving prison. But I wait, kept awake by the thought of bodies hitting pavement, until his grip loosens and his breathing steadies.**

I hate listening to this. She hasn't even left and I hate it. This is all my fault. I shut her out and now she is going to go.

"Stop thinking about it," Tris whispers.

"What?" I ask.

"You are blaming yourself for me wanting to go," Tris says. "I can see it, it's written all over your face."

"Tris," I say.

"Don't Tobias. It hasn't happened, it's _not_ going to happen. So, stop beating yourself up about it."

 **I will not let Tobias go to Erudite when it happens again, when someone else dies. I will not.**

"What makes you think he would go?" Christina asks. "If he is begging you not to go, then why would he take your place? I would think he would want to stay in Dauntless."

"I don't know Christina," Tris replies.

"You're lying," Christina responds.

I know Tris is lying too, I know what she is thinking. She knows I would go instead of her. "Back off," I tell Christina.

 **I slip out of his arms. I shrug on one of his sweatshirts so I can carry the smell of him with me. I slip my feet into my shoes. I don't take any weapons or keepsakes.**

 **I pause by the doorway and look at him, half buried under the quilt, peaceful and strong.**

" **I love you," I say quietly, trying out the words. I let the door close behind me.**

"Don't cry Marlene," Uriah tries to comfort Marlene as a sob escapes her.

"She shouldn't be going. It's my fault," Marlene says with tears streaming down her face.

"No, it's not," Tris says in a commanding voice. "None of this is our faults. It's Jeanine's. Don't cry Marlene."

"But you are going to die and you never got to tell Four you love him properly," Marlene cries.

"Marlene," Tris says. "It hasn't happened. Just think of it as a story. I hate seeing you cry."

"I'll try," Marlene sniffs.

I am feeling for Marlene, it seems that this book is affecting her a lot more than anyone else in the room. Although with Tris leaving for Erudite I might be the one who needs consoling.

 **It's time to put everything in order.**

 **I walk to the dormitory where the Dauntless-born initiates once slept. The room looks just like the one I slept in when I was an initiate: it is long and narrow, with bunk beds on either side and a chalkboard on one wall. I see by a blue light in the corner that no one bothered to erase the rankings that are written there—Uriah's name is still at the top.**

"Yeah," Uriah shouts.

 **Christina sleeps in the bottom bunk, beneath Lynn. I don't want to startle her, but there's no way to wake her otherwise, so I cover her mouth with my hand. She wakes with a start, her eyes wide until they find me. I touch my finger to my lips and beckon for her to follow me.**

"Way to scare the crap out of someone Tris," Lynn laughs.

 **I walk to the end of the hallway and turn a corner. The corridor is lit by a paint-spattered emergency lamp that hangs over one of the exits. Christina isn't wearing shoes; she curls her toes under to protect them from the cold.**

"For someone who doesn't like shopping," Christina says. "You seem to have a thing about shoes."

"She does, doesn't she?" Shauna comments.

"How can you say that?" Uriah asks. "Christina isn't wearing any."

"Exactly," Christina says. "All that Tris could have observed about me and it was that I wasn't wearing any shoes."

"I think it's to describe to you that it is cold," Tori says with a role of her eyes.

" **What is it?" she says. "Are you going somewhere?"**

" **Yeah, I'm ..." I have to lie, or she'll try to stop me. "I'm going to see my brother. He's with the Abnegation, remember?"**

 **She narrows her eyes.**

" **I'm sorry to wake you," I say. "But there's something I need you to do. It's really important."**

" **Okay. Tris, you're acting really strange. Are you sure you're not—"**

"Probably lucky you just woke me up Tris," Christina says. "Otherwise I would be able to tell that you are lying."

" **I'm not. Listen to me. The timing of the simulation attack wasn't random. The reason it happened when it did is because the Abnegation were about to do something—I don't know what it was, but it had to do with some important information, and now Jeanine has that information..."**

" **What?" She frowns. "You don't know what they were about to do? Do you know what the information is?"**

" **No." I must sound crazy. "The thing is, I haven't been able to find out very much about this, because Marcus Eaton is the only person who knows everything, and he won't tell me. I just ... it's the** _ **reason**_ **for the attack. It's the reason. And we need to know it."**

"You don't sound as crazy as you did when you were on the peace serum," Zeke chuckles.

"That brings me such comfort Zeke," Tris says sarcastically and leaves everyone laughing.

 **I don't know what else to say. But Christina is already nodding.**

" **The reason Jeanine forced us to attack innocent people," she says bitterly. "Yeah. We need to know it."**

 **I had almost forgotten—** _ **she**_ **was under the simulation. How many Abnegation did she kill, guided by the simulation? How did she feel when she awoke from that dream a murderer? I have never asked, and I never will.**

"Do you think I killed people?" Christina asks looking horrified.

"There's a good chance," I say.

"But that isn't right," Christina wails.

"Do you really think any of what is happening is right?" I ask.

"No, I just hadn't really been thinking about it," Christina says.

"That's because you have been too wrapped up in what happened to Will," Lynn states. There is no accusation in her voice, she could be reading from a text book with how dull her tone is.

" **I want your help, and soon. I need someone to persuade Marcus to cooperate, and I think you can do it."**

 **She tilts her head and stares at me for a few seconds.**

" **Tris. Don't do anything stupid."**

Lynn and Zeke both start laughing.

"What's so funny?" Tris asks.

"You are," Zeke says. "You are about to walk into Erudite. Don't you think that is the most stupid thing you could be doing?"

"Not if it saves lives," Tris says.

"Are you saying you would go now?" I ask. "After reading this."

"I don't know," Tris says. "Maybe."

I jump off the couch. "I can't believe you would say that," I shout as I pace the room.

"Do you really think I would sit back and do nothing?" Tris shouts back.

"You can't see how stupid this is?" I ask, lowering my voice a little.

"Yes, but it doesn't mean I wouldn't do it again," Tris replies.

"Just read Will," I say. I can't sit with her right now. I can't sit full stop.

"Sit down Four," Zeke says.

"Just leave me alone," I forcefully say through gritted teeth.

Zeke just shrugs and leaves me alone. While Will starts to read.

 **I force a smile. "Why do people keep saying that to me?"**

Everyone but Tris and I laugh at this.

 **She grabs my arm. "I'm not kidding around."**

" **I told you, I'm going to visit Caleb. I'll be back in a few days, and we can make a strategy then. I just thought it would be better if someone else knew about all this before I left. Just in case. Okay?"**

 **She holds my arm for a few seconds, and then releases me. "Okay," she says.**

 **I walk toward the exit. I hold myself together until I'm through the door, and then I feel the tears come. The last conversation I'll ever have with her, and it was full of lies.**

"Do you realise how much sense your excuse for leaving didn't make?" Eric says. "If Caleb was in Abnegation then so is Marcus. Wouldn't you just talk to Marcus while you are visiting Caleb."

"But I'm not visiting Caleb," Tris says.

"I can't believe I didn't pick that up," Christina mutters.

"That's a page break," Will says.

 **Once I'm outside, I put up the hood of Tobias's sweatshirt. When I reach the end of the street, I glance up and down, searching for signs of life. There is nothing.**

 **The cool air prickles in my lungs on the way in, and on the way out unfurls in a cloud of vapor. Winter will be here soon. I wonder if Erudite and Dauntless will still be at a standstill then, waiting for one group to obliterate the other. I'm glad I won't have to see it.**

"I can't believe you are doing this Tris," Marlene wails. "You shouldn't be doing this."

"Someone has to do it," Tris replies.

"No! They don't," I say.

"What should we do _Four_?" Tris spits at me.

"We should attack," Uriah shouts out.

"Can we just read and find out what happens?" Lynn says.

"Fine," I snap and go and sit back down. Tris goes to take my hand and I pull mine away from her.

"Tobias," she whispers, trying to not draw attention to us.

"Don't," I hiss at her.

She lets out a sigh. I don't know what to do. I hate this feeling. I can't believe that even after reading all this she is still thinking of leaving for Erudite. How do I stop this? How do I stop her? I can feel a headache coming on. I feel so helpless. I thought we were in a good place in our relationship here, _maybe I was wrong_.

 **Before I chose Dauntless, thoughts like that never occurred to me. I felt assured of my long lifespan, if nothing else. Now there are no reassurances, except that where I go, I go because I choose to.**

 **I walk in the shadows of buildings, hoping my footsteps won't attract any attention. None of the city lights are on in this area, but the moon is bright enough that I can walk by it without too much trouble.**

 **I walk beneath the elevated tracks. They shudder with the movement of an oncoming train. I have to walk fast if I want to get there before anyone notices that I'm gone. I sidestep a large crack in the street, and jump over a fallen streetlight.**

"I can't believe that you didn't realise what she was doing, Christina," Marlene says. "You should have realised she would do this."

"I don't either," Christina says with a huff. You can see she is clearly frustrated that she didn't pick up on Tris' lies.

 **I didn't think about how far I would have to walk when I set out. It isn't long before my body warms with the exertion of walking and checking over my shoulder and dodging hazards in the road. I pick up the pace, half walking and half jogging.**

 **Soon I reach a part of the city that I recognize. The streets are better kept here, swept clean, with few holes. Far away I see the glow of Erudite headquarters, their lights violating our energy conservation laws. I don't know what I will do when I get there. Demand to see Jeanine? Or just stand there until someone notices me?**

"How do they get away with it?" Will asks. "Even before the attack they were violating the laws. Why didn't anyone do anything about it?"

"We were told that it was for medical research and development," Max says. "The hospital obviously doesn't come under the energy laws and so that is the excuse that they used."

"And nobody thought to question why the whole building was ablaze with light?" I ask.

"It wasn't worth the argument," Max replies. "If Jeanine wants something she will find a way to get it."

"I hope someone kills that bitch," Tori mutters. "Preferably me."

 **My fingertips skim a window in the building beside me. Not long now. Tremors go through my body now that I am close, making it difficult to walk. Breathing is tricky too; I stop trying to be quiet, and let air wheeze in and out of my lungs. What will they do with me when I get there? What plans do they have for me before I outlive my usefulness, and they kill me? I don't doubt that they will kill me eventually. I concentrate on forward motion, on moving my legs even though they seem to be unwilling to support my weight.**

 **And then I'm standing in front of Erudite headquarters.**

I want to hold her hand, I really do. But I can't. What she is doing, what she is still willing to do, is suicide. I can't encourage her. I can't comfort her. How could she leave me like that?

 **Inside, crowds of blue-shirted people sit around tables, typing on computers or bent over books or passing sheets of paper back and forth. Some of them are decent people who do not understand what their faction has done, but if their entire building collapsed in on them before my eyes, I might not find it in myself to care.**

 **This is the last moment I will be able to turn back. The cold air stings my cheeks and my hands as I hesitate. I can walk away now. Take refuge in the Dauntless compound. Hope and pray and wish that no one else dies because of my selfishness.**

"Tris you can't keep blaming yourself," Uriah says. "I could have gone, Four, could have gone. There are lots of people who could have gone."

"But they didn't," Tris replies.

 **But I can't walk away, or the guilt, the weight of Will's life, and my parents' lives, and now Marlene's life, will break my bones, will make it impossible to breathe.**

 **I slowly walk toward the building and push open the doors. This is the only way to keep from suffocating.**

"That's a page break," Will says.

"I need the bathroom," I say.

I don't really I just need to try and compose myself for what is about to happen. This is tearing me apart. I don't know how I'm going to listen to what is going to happen. I hear a knock on the bathroom door.

"Tobias," Tris says on the other side of the door.

I unlock the door and let her in. She shuts the door and we just stand there staring at each other. I can't pull my eyes away from her, I want to, but I can't.

"I thought you were leaving for Erudite because I had shut you out," I softly say.

"I wouldn't do that," Tris replies. "You are angry with me."

"I am," I admit.

"But it hasn't happened."

"No but you said that you thought you would go if it did. Even after reading these books. Do have any idea how that makes me feel?"

"Tobias," Tris says as she reaches for my hand but I take a step back so that she can't touch me.

"You are the _only_ person that I have let in. You are the _only_ person that I love. You are the _only_ person that I would die for. But it isn't enough for _you_ ," I say. There is no malice in my voice, just heartbreak.

"Do you have any idea what it is like to sit here day in and day out and listen to how much pain you are in? That the grief is eating you up. That I can't do a damn thing about it because I am acting like an asshole towards you. It is killing me Tris," I whisper the last sentence as I slump to the floor.

"But it hasn't happened," Tris says. "It doesn't have to happen. We can stop this."

"Can we?"

"If we want to, yes, I believe we can," Tris says confidently. "Tobias you have to stop blaming yourself for everything that is happening to us in the book. We have both made mistakes. Big ones. I'm sure we are going to make more."

"But this is more than that. You said that you would do it even now, with all the information we have. With how you know how I feel about you. I thought you felt the same way. But I don't see it, I'm not feeling it."

"I don't want to lose you," I say.

"Then stop acting like you already have," Tris says. "Because that is what it feels like right now."

"How do you expect me to do that? If this was just about the book then _maybe_ I could," I say as I push past her and open the door.

"Four," Zeke shouts. "You scared the shit out of me."

"Lucky the bathrooms right there for you then," I snap as I storm past everyone.

"Ha ha, you are so funny today," Zeke says sarcastically.

"Are you alright?" Zeke asks as he catches up to me. "You don't seem okay."

"I don't want to talk about it Zeke," I state.

* * *

"Are we all good?" Will asks, looking directly at me. I am sitting on one of the bean bags. I can't be that close to Tris right now. I nod my head.

"I think you can start reading again," Eric replies.

 **For a second after my feet touch the wood floors, and I stand before the giant portrait of Jeanine Matthews hung on the opposite wall, no one notices me, not even the two Dauntless traitor guards milling around near the entry-way. I walk up to the front desk, where a middle-aged man with a bald patch on the crown of his head sits, sorting through a stack of paper. I set my hands on the desk.**

" **Excuse me," I say.**

" **Give me a moment," he says without looking up.**

" **No."**

"You tell him, Tris," Uriah says.

 **At that he looks up, his glasses askew, scowling like he's about to chastise me. Whatever words he was about to use seem to stick in his throat. He stares at me with an open mouth, his eyes skipping from my face to the black sweatshirt I wear.**

 **In my terror, his expression seems amusing. I smile a little and conceal my hands, which are trembling.**

" **I believe Jeanine Matthews wanted to see me," I say. "So I would appreciate it if you would contact her."**

 **He signals to the Dauntless traitors by the door, but there is no need. The guards have finally caught on. Dauntless soldiers from the other parts of the room have also started forward, and they all surround me, but don't touch me, and don't speak to me. I scan their faces, trying to look as placid as possible.**

" **Divergent?" one of them finally asks as the man behind the desk picks up the receiver of the building's communication system.**

 **If I close my hands into fists, I can stop them from shaking. I nod.**

 **My eyes shift to the Dauntless coming out of the elevator on the left side of the room, and the muscles in my face go slack. Peter is coming toward us.**

"Are you kidding me?" Eric groans. "How does Peter keep finding himself in the right place at the right time. He is such a snake."

"How did you not notice this during initiation?" I ask.

"We did," Max replies, "but we thought he would stay faithful to us. Obviously, the only person he is faithful to is himself."

 **A thousand potential reactions, ranging from launching myself at Peter's throat to crying to making some kind of joke, rush through my mind at once. I can't decide on one. So I stand still and watch him. Jeanine must have known that I would come, she must have chosen Peter on purpose to collect me, she must have.**

" **We've been instructed to take you upstairs," says Peter.**

"He must be enjoying this," Lynn says. "I hope we get the chance to kill him."

 **I mean to say something sharp, or nonchalant, but the only sound that escapes me is an assenting noise, squeezed tight by my swollen throat. Peter starts toward the elevators, and I follow him.**

 **We walk down a series of sleek corridors. Despite the fact that we climb a few flights of stairs, I still feel like I am plunging into the earth.**

 **I expect them to take me to Jeanine, but they don't. They stop walking in a short hallway with a series of metal doors on each side. Peter types in a code to open one of the doors, and the traitor Dauntless surround me, shoulder to shoulder, forming a narrow tunnel for me to pass through on my way into the room.**

"How many people have they got with you?" Zeke asks. "It seems like a lot of people for just Tris."

"I think everyone has always underestimated Tris. Jeanine isn't taking any chances this time," Eric says.

 **The room is small, maybe six feet long by six feet wide. The floor, the walls, and the ceiling are all made of the same light panels, dim now, that glowed in the aptitude test room. In each corner is a tiny black camera.**

 **I finally let myself panic.**

"FINALLY?" Uriah shouts. "Really Tris? What the hell were you thinking going there?"

"I was thinking of Marlene, Uriah," Tris responds with tears in her eyes.

 **I look from corner to corner, at the cameras, and fight the scream building in my stomach, chest, and throat, the scream that fills every part of me. Again I feel guilt and grief clawing inside me, warring with each other for dominance, but terror is stronger than both. I breathe in, and don't breathe out. My father once told me it was a cure for hiccups. I asked him if I could die from holding my breath.**

Everyone has a small laugh at this.

"What's so funny?" Tris asks.

"You really thought you would die from holding your breath?" Eric asks.

"I was seven Eric," Tris snaps.

" **No," he said. "Your body's instincts will take over, and force you to breathe."**

 **A shame, really. I could use a way out. The thought makes me want to laugh. And then scream.**

 **I curl up so I can press my face to my knees. I have to make a plan. If I can make a plan, I won't be so afraid.**

 **But there is no plan. No escape from deep in Erudite headquarters, no escape from Jeanine, and no other escape from what I've done.**

"Looks like you are starting to regret your decision Tris," Christina says.

Tris just shrugs.

"That's the end of the chapter," Will says.

"Dinner time," shouts Uriah.


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: thanks to everyone who has reviewed and the the lovely PM's I have received. Your support is really special to me. I hope you keep enjoying the story.**

* * *

CHAPTER THIRTY

FOUR'S POV

Dinner was tense. If it wasn't for Uriah and Zeke making fools of themselves I think there would have been deathly silence. I feel like shit. I just want to hold her but I can't, I have to keep my distance. I will give in to her. I know I will. I can't do that.

She needs to understand what this, reading the books, is doing to me. I know it hasn't happened yet but, she is still thinking that she would leave even now. Do I really mean so little to her?

"I'm going to read," Eric says as he snatches the book out of Wills hand.

 **CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE**

 **I forgot my watch.**

"How could you forget your watch Tris?" Zeke jokingly asks.

"I think I might have had a few other things on my mind as I was leaving Zeke," Tris replies.

I just scoff.

 **Minutes or hours later, when the panic subsides, that is what I most regret. Not coming here in the first place—that seemed like an obvious choice—but my bare wrist, which makes it impossible for me to know how long I have been sitting in this room. My back aches, which is some indication, but it is not definite enough.**

"I can't believe you," I explode. "You regret not taking your watch with you. Are you fucking insane? Of all the things you could regret it's a watch," I scream as I start to pace the room.

"Sit down Four," Zeke says.

"Mind your own business Zeke," I shout across the room.

"Just leave him," I hear Shauna quietly say to Zeke. "He needs to work through this himself."

 _Damn right I do_ , I think to myself. Why didn't we put the punching bag in here? I could really use it right now.

 **After a while I get up and pace, stretching my arms above my head. I hesitate to do anything while the cameras are there, but they can't learn anything by watching me touch my toes.**

"Don't bet on it Tris," Will says. "I'd think that they would have a room full of people watching everything you do."

"Erudite are just creepy," Lynn says.

"Why do you think so many leave," Tori responds.

 **The thought makes my hands tremble, but I don't try to push it from my mind. Instead I tell myself that I am Dauntless and I am no stranger to fear. I will die in this place. Perhaps soon. Those are the facts.**

 **But there are other ways to think of it. Soon I will honor my parents by dying as they died. And if all they believed about death was true, soon I will join them in whatever comes next.**

"That's bullshit," I say, looking directly at Tris. She stares me straight in the eyes, not backing down.

"What would you know, _Four_ ," she snaps at me. "Not like you raised your hand to go."

"Don't even try to pull that one on me," I bite back. "You have a death wish. You'd rather be with your mummy and daddy than stay here with us." I throw my arms open in a wild gesture, hoping it gets my point across. What i really meant to say is that she would rather be with her parents than me, and that hurts, more than I want to ever have to admit.

"At least I have parents that love me," Tris shouts.

I can see the regret in her eyes, as soon as the words came spewing out.

"Oh, God," Tris whispers with a gasp. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that."

"Go. To. Hell," I say in a quiet deathly tone.

"Tobias," Tris whispers as she goes to get up from her seat.

"Don't Tris," I warn, shaking my head. I can't have her near me right now.

"Just read," I tell Eric, as I continue to pace the room. Tris has sunk into her seat, I can see the tears slowly rolling down her cheeks, I look away.

 **I shake my hands as I pace. They're still trembling. I want to know what time it is. I arrived a little after midnight. It must be early in the morning by now, maybe 4:00, or 5:00. Or maybe it hasn't been that long, and only seems that way because I haven't been doing anything.**

 **The door opens, and at last I stand face-to-face with my enemy and her Dauntless guards.**

" **Hello, Beatrice," Jeanine says. She wears Erudite blue and Erudite spectacles and an Erudite look of superiority that I was taught by my father to hate. "I thought you might be the one who came."**

"Thought," Christina scoffs. "she knew exactly what to do to ensure it was Tris that went."

"You think she made sure it was Tris?" Marlene asks.

"Of course, she did," Eric replies. "Jeanine always gets what she wants."

 **But I don't feel hate when I look at her. I don't feel anything at all, even though I know she's responsible for countless deaths, including Marlene's. The deaths exist in my mind as a string of meaningless equations, and I stand frozen, unable to solve them.**

" **Hello, Jeanine," I say, because it is the only thing that comes to mind.**

 **I look from Jeanine's watery gray eyes to the Dauntless who flank her. Peter stands at her right shoulder, and a woman with lines on either side of her mouth stands at her left. Behind her is a bald man with sharp planes in his skull. I frown.**

 **How does Peter find himself in such a prestigious position, as Jeanine Matthews's bodyguard? Where is the logic in that?**

"I don't think it's for her protection," Tori says. "I think she is doing it to try and upset you Tris. I think she is afraid of you."

"Why would she be afraid of me?" Tris asks, looking totally confused.

"You're Divergent," Will says.

"But that isn't a reason to be scared of me. There are a lot of people who are Divergent. Why am I any different?" Tris asks.

"Let's just read and see what she thinks," Max says.

I'm sure we could sit here all night, thinking about what Jeanine may or may not be thinking, but it wouldn't get us anywhere. Plus, the woman is insane.

" **I'd like to know what time it is," I say.**

" **Would you," she says. "That's interesting."**

 **I should have known she wouldn't tell me. Every piece of information she receives factors into her strategy, and she won't tell me what time it is unless she decides that providing the information is more useful than withholding it.**

"Does it feel like Jeanine may have met her match?" Uriah asks with a chuckle. "There is something about what is happening here that makes me feel like Tris is on top."

"No," Lynn replies. "Where do these ideas come from Uri?"

"Don't even try to answer that," Zeke says to Uriah.

"Why not?" Uriah acts shocked.

"Because it will not end well little brother."

Lynn and Marlene start laughing. "Do you remember the time when Uriah and Zeke were trying to get out of that punishment with their mum and Uriah said, "-

"Stop," Uriah screams. "Don't you dare tell everyone about that."

"Which one are you two talking about?" Zeke asks. "There's been a few."

"Hey," Uriah shouts.

"You have to admit Uriah," Lynn says with a chuckle. "You do come up with some ridiculous excuses sometimes."

"No, I don't," Uriah states. "They make sense to me."

Everyone starts to laugh.

"Yeah," Zeke laughs. "That's the problem, they only make sense to you. No one else understands."

" **I'm sure my Dauntless companions are disappointed," she says, "that you have not tried to claw my eyes out yet."**

" **That would be stupid."**

" **True. But in keeping with your 'act first, think second' behavioral trend."**

"She has taken a lot of notice of you Tris," Marlene comments.

" **I'm sixteen." I purse my lips. "I change."**

" **How refreshing." She has a way of flattening even those phrases that should have inflection built into them. "Let's go on a little tour, shall we?"**

 **She steps back and gestures toward the doorway. The last thing I want to do is walk out of this room and toward an uncertain destination, but I don't hesitate. I walk out, the severe-looking Dauntless woman in front of me. Peter follows me soon afterward.**

 **The hallway is long and pale. We turn a corner and walk down a second one exactly like the first.**

 **Two more hallways follow. I am so disoriented I could never find my way back. But then my surroundings change— the white tunnel opens to a large room where Erudite men and women in long blue jackets stand behind tables, some holding tools, some mixing multicolored liquids, some staring at computer screens. If I had to guess, I would say they are mixing simulation serum, but I hesitate to confine Erudite's work to simulations alone.**

 **Most of them stop to watch us as we walk down the center aisle. Or rather, they watch me. Some of them whisper, but most remain silent. It is so quiet here.**

 **I follow the Dauntless traitor woman through a doorway, and stop so abruptly Peter runs into me.**

 **This room is just as large as the last one, but there is only one thing in it: a large metal table with a machine next to it. A machine I vaguely recognize as a heart monitor. And dangling above it, a camera. I shudder without meaning to. Because I know what this is.**

" **I am very pleased that you, in particular, are here," says Jeanine. She walks past me and perches on the table, her fingers curled around the edge.**

" **I am pleased, of course, because of your aptitude test results." Her blond hair, pulled tight to her skull, reflects the light, catches my attention.**

" **Even among the Divergent, you are somewhat of an oddity, because you have aptitude for three factions. Abnegation, Dauntless, and Erudite."**

" **How ..." My voice croaks. I push the question out. "How do you know that?"**

"CALEB!" shouts Uriah.

"No. No way," Tris says shaking her head from side to side. "He wouldn't do that, I'm his sister."

"Why is it so hard for you to understand the notion of Faction Before Blood?" Eric asks. "What? Do you think Tori told them while she was in Erudite? There were only a few people that knew you had three aptitudes. Caleb is the only one that it would be."

"No, no. I don't believe that," Tris whispers.

In this moment seeing the realisation hit Tris like it is, I just want to go over and wrap my arms around her and tell her it's all going to be okay. But I can't. It's not okay and we're not okay. I just continue to pace, making sure not to look at _her_. I can't because I know I will break.

" **All in good time," she says. "From your results I have determined that you are one of the strongest Divergent, which I say not to compliment you but to explain my purpose. If I am to develop a simulation that cannot be thwarted by the Divergent mind, I must study the strongest Divergent mind in order to shore up all weaknesses in the technology. Understand?"**

"See," Christina calls out. "I told you. She made sure it was Tris that would come."

 **I don't respond. I am still staring at the heart monitor next to the table.**

" **Therefore, for as long as possible, my fellow scientists and I will be studying you." She smiles a little. "And then, at the conclusion of my study, you will be executed."**

"No!" Marlene gasps. "This is my fault," she whispers.

"How can you blame yourself?" Eric asks. "You're dead."

"No," Lynn says. "It's Christina's fault. If she had asked another person to help then Marlene wouldn't be dead and Tris wouldn't have felt the need to go to Erudite."

"For Fuck's sake," I shout. "Stop with the blaming each other. It's Jeanine's fault. She started this whole mess. I can't listen to much more of this crap."

"Calm down Four," Zeke says. "Keep reading."

 **I knew that. I knew it, so why do my knees feel weak, why is my stomach writhing, why?**

" **That execution will take place here." She runs her fingertips over the table beneath her. "On this table. I thought it would be interesting to show it to you."**

 **She wants to study my response. I barely breathe. I used to think that cruelty required malice, but that is not true. Jeanine has no reason to act out of malice. But she is cruel because she doesn't care what she does, as long as it fascinates her. I may as well be a puzzle or a broken machine she wants to fix. She will break open my skull just to see the inner workings of my brain; I will die here, and that will be the merciful thing.**

" **I knew what would happen when I came here," I say. "It's just a table. And I'd like to go back to my room now."**

"Shit Tris," Uriah exclaims. "You are crazy brave right now. I couldn't have responded like that."

Tris just shrugs. I turn away before our eyes meet.

"That's a page break," Eric tells us.

"I think we all need a five-minute break," Max says. We all look at him confused. "I need to go to the bathroom," he says as he gets up from his seat.

I quickly walk out of the room and go up to my room.

I get up to my room and I can't stop pacing.

"Tobias," Tris whispers.

"Tris this is not a good time," I say.

Tris steps in front of me, blocking my path.

"Tris," I warn.

"No Tobias. You can't shut me out like this," Tris states.

"What do you want me to say to you right now?" I ask, venom in my voice. "Because I don't have anything nice to say."

"That's okay," Tris says. "We aren't nice people, remember?" She has a slight smile on her face.

I hang my head. "No, we're not," I reply.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said what I did. I didn't mean it," she says looking into my eyes.

"It's true. There isn't anything you said that wasn't true Tris. I just didn't think you would throw it in my face like that."

"I know, I don't know where that came from. It was wrong and I am sorry."

"What about the other thing?" I ask.

Tris looks at me confused.

"That you would still go to Erudite, even after reading what is happening to you."

"I don't know what I would do. I would hope that I would at least try to stop Jeanine from killing anybody else. But, but I don't want to lose you," Tris says blushing brightly.

"I don't want to lose you either. I just don't know if I trust you," I say. "I'm afraid that we are going to leave this house and you are going to walk straight into Erudite and do something stupid."

"You need to give me more credit than that."

"Do I?" I ask turning away from her. "How do I know that you will be there for me? I finally let someone in and you are throwing it in my face. Not just with the parent comment. But wanting to leave me like that, twice. I don't know if I could cope if something happened to you."

"Tobias," Tris says, hardly above a whisper. "Tobias," she says a little louder. I still can't turn and face her.

Tris walks around me and is now facing me. "Tobias," she says more forcefully. I finally look her in the eyes. She has tears streaming down her face. I hate that I have put those tears there but I just can't get past the hurt my heart is feeling right now.

"Tobias, can we try to forget about today? I can't do this without you. I don't want to do this without you."

"I can try."

Tris goes to wrap her arms around me but I take a step back. I shake my head. "I can't Tris, not yet."

I can see the devastation in her eyes. "I understand," she sniffles. "I'm going to go back downstairs." She turns to leave the room.

"I will be down in a minute," I reply. I sit on the edge of the bed. I rest my elbows on my knees and put my face in my hands.

"You okay?" Zeke asks. I look up and see Zeke leaning on the door frame.

"I don't know," I say honestly.

"You need each other right now."

"When did you become all knowing?" I ask.

He lets out a loud laugh. "Are you kidding? With all the crap Shauna and I have been going through. This house is either going to tear us all down or make us all stronger. Right now, it's about fifty, fifty on which way it is going to go."

I scoff, I know he is right.

"Don't push her to far away, man," he tells me.

"I know."

"Good. Then let's go read the rest of this chapter."

* * *

We get down stairs to find everyone in their seats. I decided that it would be best if I at least go and sit with Tris. I need to push past what happened earlier. It may take some time but I still need to start somewhere. I sit down and she looks up at me, hope in her eyes. I give her a small smile and I see her eyes brighten just a little.

"We ready?" Eric asks.

Tris and I both give him a small nod and he continues to read.

 **I don't really comprehend time's passing, at least not in the way that I used to, when time was available to me. So when the door opens again and Peter walks into my cell, I don't know how much time has gone by, only that I am exhausted.**

" **Let's go, Stiff," he says.**

" **I'm not Abnegation." I stretch my arms above my head so they brush against the wall.**

" **And now that you're an Erudite lackey, you can't call me 'Stiff.' It's inaccurate."**

"Are you hoping Peter kills you before Jeanine gets the chance?" Tori asks shaking her head.

" **I said, let's go."**

" **What, no snide comments?" I look up at him with mock surprise. "No 'You're an idiot for coming here; your brain must be deficient as well as Divergent'?"**

" **That really goes without saying, doesn't it?" he says. "You can either get up or I can drag you down the hallway. Your choice."**

 **I feel calmer. Peter is always mean to me; this is familiar.**

"Yep, let's goad the psychopath," Lynn states. "always better to have him being mean to calm ones nerves."

"It's actually quite clever," Will says. "Having the familiarity would make the situation less stressful."

"Seriously?" Lynn raises an eyebrow at Will. "She is about to be tested on like one of those rats we cut up in school. How could anything make it less stressful?"

"I didn't do that," Christina states. "I couldn't cut it open."

"I thought it was awesome," Zeke tells us with a smile on his face.

"You are looking way creepy right now bro," Uriah chuckles. "Like Eric creepy."

"No!" gasps Zeke holding is hand over his heart. "You can't tell me you didn't enjoy it."

"We weren't allowed to do it," Tris says.

"What? It was selfish to kill the rat?" Lynn asks.

Tris just nods her head. Lynn lets out a groan.

 **I stand and walk out of the room. I notice as I walk that Peter's arm, the one I shot, is no longer in a sling.**

" **Did they fix up your bullet wound?"**

" **Yeah," he says. "Now you'll need to find a different weakness to exploit. Too bad I'm fresh out of them." He grabs my good arm and walks faster, pulling me along beside him. "We're late."**

"I'm sure Tris can find one," Uriah remarks.

"What makes you think that?" I ask.

"Please," Uriah scoffs. "Tris is smart, I'm sure she will find a way to get at Peter."

 **Despite the length and emptiness of the hallway, our footsteps don't echo much. I feel like someone put their hands over my ears and I only just noticed it. I try to keep track of the hallways we walk down, but I lose count after a while. We reach the end of one and turn left, into a dim room that reminds me of an aquarium. One of the walls is made of one-way glass—reflective on my side, but I'm sure it's transparent on the other side.**

 **A large machine stands on the other side, with a man-sized tray coming out of it. I recognize it from my Faction History textbook, the unit on Erudite and medicine. An MRI machine. It will take pictures of my brain.**

 **Something sparks inside me. It's been so long since I felt it that I barely recognize it at first. Curiosity.**

 **A voice—Jeanine's voice—speaks over an intercom.**

" **Lie down, Beatrice."**

 **I look at the man-sized tray that will slide me into the machine.**

" **No."**

"Do you ever do what you are told?" Eric asks.

"Depends who's asking," Tris says with a smirk on her face. Eric just shakes his head and continues to read.

 **She sighs. "If you don't do it yourself, we have ways of making you."**

 **Peter is standing behind me. Even with an injured arm, he was stronger than me. I imagine his hands on me, wrestling me toward the tray, shoving me against the metal, pulling the straps that dangle from the tray across my body, too tightly.**

" **Let's make a deal," I say. "If I cooperate, I get to see the scan."**

" **You will cooperate whether you want to or not."**

 **I hold up a finger. "That's not true."**

 **I look at the mirror. It's not so difficult to pretend that I'm speaking to Jeanine when I speak to my own reflection. My hair is blond like hers; we are both pale and stern-looking. The thought is so disturbing to me that I lose my train of thought for a few seconds, and instead stand with my finger in the air in silence.**

 **I am pale-skinned, pale-haired, and cold. I am curious about the pictures of my brain. I am like Jeanine. And I can either despise it, attack it, eradicate it ... or I can use it.**

"The way you break down tasks, it's mind boggling," Eric states.

You can see the Erudite coming out in him. I bet he would have loved to have been there to watch what is happening.

" **That's not true," I repeat. "No matter how many restraints you use, you can't keep me as still as I need to be for the pictures to be clear." I clear my throat. "I want to see the scans. You're going to kill me anyway, so does it really matter how much I know about my own brain before you do?"**

 **Silence.**

" **Why do you want to see them so badly?" she says.**

" **Surely you, of all people, understand. I have equal aptitude for Erudite as I do for Dauntless and Abnegation, after all."**

" **All right. You can see them. Lie down."**

"Score one to Tris," Lynn runs over and high fives Tris.

"Really? She is going to die," Eric looks at Lynn.

"Maybe, but she is going to go out fighting," Lynn replies. "That's if she does die."

"You really think she is going to get out of this?" Eric asks.

"I do," Lynn states.

"I agree," Uriah and Marlene both say at the same time, making Marlene giggle.

"No way. I can't see it," Eric says. "She has had too many close calls. Her number has to be up."

"You're just bitter because she bested you. . . more than once," Zeke laughs at Eric.

Eric decides not to respond, he just start to read again.

 **I walk over to the tray and lie down. The metal feels like ice. The tray slides back, and I am inside the machine. I stare up at whiteness. When I was young, I thought that was what heaven would be like, all white light and nothing else. Now I know that can't be true, because white light is menacing.**

 **I hear thumping, and I close my eyes as I remember one of the obstacles in my fear landscape, the fists pounding against my windows and the sightless men trying to kidnap me. I pretend the pounding is a heartbeat, a drumbeat. The river crashing against the walls of the chasm in the Dauntless compound. Feet stamping at the end-of-initiation ceremony. Feet pounding on the staircase after the Choosing Ceremony.**

"Do you think that you would have had that fear if Peter and his lackeys hadn't tried to throw you over the chasm?" Christina asks.

"I don't know," Tris replies. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, if you get over the intimacy one and that didn't happen, you might have only had five fears."

"Most of her fears dealt with losing control, they just manifested in different scenarios, so if you look at it that way she could have had even less," Eric explains.

"What is it with Abnegation transfers and less fears?" Will asks.

"They are taught not to want for things, they know they are going to be given the basic necessities, so it takes away a lot of fears others may have."

"Can we just get back to the book," Lynn grumbles.

 **I don't know how much time has passed when the thumping stops and the tray slides back. I sit up and rub my neck with my fingertips.**

 **The door opens, revealing Peter in the hallway. He beckons to me. "Come on. You can go see the scans now."**

 **I hop down from the tray and walk toward him. When we're in the hallway, he shakes his head at me.**

" **What?"**

" **I don't know how you manage to always get what you want."**

"That's funny," Uriah chuckles. "Peter tries so hard to get what he wants but never seems to get it. This must frustrate the hell out of him."

I'd never thought of it like that before. I can't help but to smile, just a little.

" **Yeah, because I wanted to get myself into a cell in Erudite headquarters. I wanted to be executed."**

 **I sound cavalier, like executions are something I face on a regular basis. But forming my lips around the word "executed" makes me shudder. I pretend I'm cold, squeezing my arms with my hands.**

" **Didn't you, though?" he says. "I mean, you did come here of your own free will. That's not what I call a good survival instinct."**

"He's right," Marlene says.

 **He types in a series of numbers on a keypad outside the next door, and it opens. I enter the room on the other side of the mirror. It's full of screens and light, reflecting off the glass in the Erudites' spectacles. Across the room, another door clicks shut. There is an empty chair behind one of the screens, still turning. Someone just left.**

 **Peter stands too close behind me—ready to grab me if I decide to attack anyone. But I won't attack anyone. How far could I get if I did? Down one hallway, or two? And then I would be lost. I couldn't get out of here even if there weren't guards stopping me from leaving.**

"You are going to attack," Uriah says. "It might not be right now, but you are looking for your opening."

"She won't get far if she does," Will says.

"She will," Uriah confidently says.

"You have a lot of confidence in Tris, Uriah," Eric remarks.

"I think she's proven herself, more than once," Uriah replies.

" **Put them up there," says Jeanine, pointing toward the large screen on the left wall. One of the Erudite scientists taps his own computer screen, and an image appears on the left wall. An image of my brain.**

 **I don't know what I'm looking at, exactly. I know what a brain looks like, and generally what each region of it does, but I don't know how mine compares to others. Jeanine taps her chin and stares for what feels like a long time.**

 **Finally she says, "Someone instruct Ms. Prior as to what the prefrontal cortex does."**

" **It's the region of the brain behind the forehead, so to speak," one of the scientists says. She doesn't look much older than I am, and wears large round glasses that make her eyes look bigger. "It's responsible for organizing your thoughts and actions to attain your goals."**

" **Correct," Jeanine says. "Now someone tell me what they observe about Ms. Prior's lateral prefrontal cortex."**

"This is worse than being at school," Zeke groans.

"I can see why you didn't pick Erudite," Will says with a chuckle. "This is how it is all the time in Erudite."

"I can see why you left," Zeke responds.

" **It's large," another scientist—this one a man with thinning hair—says.**

" **Specificity," says Jeanine. Like she's chastising him.**

 **I am in a classroom, I realize, because every room with more than one Erudite in it is a classroom. And among them, Jeanine is their most valued teacher. They all stare at her with wide eyes and eager, open mouths, waiting to impress her.**

" **It's much larger than average," the man with thinning hair corrects himself.**

" **Better." Jeanine tilts her head. "In fact, it is one of the largest lateral prefrontal cortexes I've ever seen. Yet the orbitofrontal cortex is remarkably small. What do these two facts indicate?"**

" **The orbitofrontal cortex is the reward center of the brain. Those who exhibit reward-seeking behavior have a large orbitofrontal cortex," someone says. "That means that Ms. Prior engages in very little reward-seeking behavior."**

" **Not just that." Jeanine smiles a little. Blue light from the screens makes her cheekbones and forehead brighter but casts shadows in her eye sockets. "It does not merely indicate something about her behavior, but about her desires. She is not reward motivated. Yet she is extremely good at directing her thoughts and actions toward her goals. This explains both her tendency toward harmful-but-selfless behavior and, perhaps, her ability to wriggle out of simulations. How does this change our approach to the new**

 **simulation serum?"**

"See," Tris jumps up. "It's not my fault that I volunteered to go to Erudite. It's my brains fault."

"That's still your fault Tris," I quietly say.

"But I can't help myself," she says.

"Well now you know you need to think a little more before you make these types of decisions," Eric says.

"I don't understand how they are saying this is what would make her wriggle out of the simulations," Tori says. "And with all the testing that Jeanine has been doing on Divergents, wouldn't she have picked this up on someone else?"

"That's probably why she tested her brain first," Eric says. "Maybe it did show up on other's she has studied."

"I don't know," Tori says. "I think there is something that they are missing."

"Well let's read on and see," I say.

" **It should suppress some, but not all, of the activity in the prefrontal cortex," the scientist with the round glasses says. "Precisely," says Jeanine. She finally looks at me, her eyes gleaming with delight. "Then that is how we will proceed. Did this satisfy my end of our agreement, Ms. Prior?" My mouth is dry, so it's difficult to swallow.**

 **And what happens if they suppress the activity in my prefrontal cortex—if they damage my ability to make decisions? What if this serum works, and I become a slave to the simulations like everyone else? What if I forget reality entirely?**

"Now you will know how the rest of us feel," Christina sarcastically calls out.

"Is that Jeanine's end goal?" Uriah asks. "To put us in a never-ending sim?"

"Looks like it," I dryly say.

"Man, she is evil," Uriah says as he shakes his head.

 **I did not know that my entire personality, my entire being, could be discarded as the byproduct of my anatomy. What if I really am just someone with a large prefrontal cortex ... and nothing more?**

" **Yes," I say. "It did."**

"That's a page break," Eric states.

"This chapter is so long," Zeke huffs.

"Tell me about it, I don't know why I always seem to read the long chapters," Eric whines.

"Must be that we just love hearing your voice," Tori bites at him.

 **In silence Peter and I make our way back to my room. We turn left, and a group of people stands at the other end of the hallway. It is the longest of the corridors we will travel through, but that distance shrinks when I see him.**

 **Held at either arm by a Dauntless traitor, a gun aimed at the back of his skull.**

"Oh my God," Tris shouts. "You didn't?" She turns to look at me.

"What?" I ask completely confused.

"How could you," she yells at me, punching my arm.

"What are you talking about?" I ask rubbing my arm.

"It's you!" she screams. "You idiot. You followed me to Erudite."

"Oh," I say. I don't know what else to say.

 **Tobias, blood trailing down the side of his face and marking his white shirt with red; Tobias, fellow Divergent, standing in the mouth of this furnace in which I will burn.**

 **Peter's hands clamp around my shoulders, holding me in place.**

" **Tobias," I say, and it sounds like a gasp.**

 **The Dauntless traitor with the gun presses Tobias toward me. Peter tries to push me forward too, but my feet remain planted. I came here so that no one else would die. I came here to protect as many people as I could. And I care more about Tobias's safety than anyone else's. So why am I here, if he's here? What's the point?**

" **What did you do?" I mumble. He is just a few feet away from me now, but not close enough to hear me. As he passes me he stretches out his hand. He wraps it around my palm and squeezes. Squeezes, then lets go. His eyes are bloodshot; he is pale.**

" **What did you do?" This time the question tears from my throat like a growl.**

 **I throw myself toward him, struggling against Peter's grip, though his hands chafe.**

" **What did you do?" I scream.**

"Holy crap Tris," Lynn laughs. "Your response is almost like in the book."

"I can't believe you have done that," Zeke says his arms raising above his head. "You are both insane."

" **You die, I die too." Tobias looks over his shoulder at me. "I asked you not to do this. You made your decision. These are the repercussions."**

"This is so romantic," Marlene gushes.

"How can you think that?" Uriah asks shocked.

"You die, I die too. It is so romantic. He can't live without her," Marlene explains.

"It's crazy," Zeke shouts. "You are both completely insane. Why would you even think to do this? Tris I could understand, just. But this . . . I don't have words. You are just both crazy."

 **He disappears around the corner. The last I see of him and the Dauntless traitors leading him is the gleam of the gun barrel and blood on the back of his earlobe from an injury I didn't see before.**

 **All the life goes out of me as soon as he's gone. I stop struggling and let Peter's hands push me toward my cell. I slump to the ground as soon as I walk in, waiting for the door to slide shut to signify Peter's departure, but it doesn't.**

" **Why did he come here?" Peter says.**

 **I glance at him.**

" **Because he's an idiot."**

"Couldn't have said it better myself," Zeke calls out. "Four. I just. I. Fuck I have no clue." Zeke shakes his head and his mouth keeps opening but words aren't coming out. It is almost comical to watch. Almost. It probably would be if I didn't find the situation so serious.

" **Well, yeah."**

 **I rest my head against the wall.**

" **Did he think he could rescue you?" Peter snorts a little. "Sounds like a Stiff-born thing to do."**

" **I don't think so," I say. If Tobias intended to rescue me, he would have thought it through; he would have brought others. He would not have burst into Erudite headquarters alone.**

 **Tears well up in my eyes, and I don't try to blink them away. Instead I stare through them and watch my surroundings smear together. A few days ago I would never have cried in front of Peter, but I don't care anymore. He is the least of all my enemies.**

" **I think he came to die with me," I say. I clamp my hand over my mouth to stifle a sob. If I can keep breathing, I can stop crying. I didn't need or want him to die with me. I wanted to keep him safe.** _ **What an idiot**_ **, I think, but my heart isn't in it.**

" **That's ridiculous," he says. "That doesn't make any sense. He's eighteen; he'll find another girlfriend once you're dead. And he's stupid if he doesn't know that."**

 **Tears run down my cheeks, hot at first and then cold. I close my eyes. "If you think that's what it's about ..." I swallow another sob. "... you're the stupid one."**

"As if Peter knows what love is," Eric states.

"Oh, and you do?" Tori queries.

"I'm starting to understand it," Eric admits looking at Lynn.

I see Lynn start to blush and she has turned away from Eric's stare. I thought the stare he had when he was trying to intimidate was intense but this is something else. Who would ever believe, Eric is in love with Lynn.

" **Yeah. Whatever."**

 **His shoes squeak as he turns away. About to leave.**

" **Wait!" I look up at his blurry silhouette, unable to make out his face. "What will they do to him? The same thing they're doing to me?"**

" **I don't know."**

" **Can you find out?" I wipe my cheeks with the heels of my hands, frustrated. "Can you at least find out if he's all right?"**

 **He says, "Why would I do that? Why would I do anything for you?" A moment later I hear the door slide shut.**

"That's the end of the chapter," Eric says as he slams the book shut.

"How could you?" Tris turns on me, again.

"I don't know Tris," I reply.

"All the crap you have been saying to me all day and now this happens."

"Maybe now you know how I felt when you said you were going," I state.

"Don't even," Tris says as she gets up and starts to walk up the stairs.

Fuck! What was I thinking? I start to shake my head. All I can think is _'What was I thinking?'_

I just stay seated and watch as the others say goodnight to each other. I want to give Tris time to calm down before I go upstairs.

"You okay?"

I look up to see Eric still sitting.

"I'm sure I'll be fine," I say not really convinced myself.

"She will calm down," Eric says.

"Yeah, well if not I'm sure the floor is going to be mighty comfortable to sleep on."

"You could always go and sleep in Max's room, he has a spare bed," Eric chuckles.

"Great," I say. "So, you love her?"

"You picked up on that one?"

I just nod.

"She's good for me, doesn't take my bullshit. Isn't trying to use me for my status."

"They do that a lot?" I ask.

"I've had a few girls try. Probably the same ones who want to sleep with the guy who only has Four fears."

I can't help but laugh at that. "Yeah, it always freaked me out when they would try to touch me, or say nice things."

"Exactly. You know they aren't sincere. With Lynn it's different, she isn't trying to be someone she's not. And she doesn't want me to be someone I'm not either. With everything that I have done in these books, I thought that she would tell me to piss off. But she hasn't, she tells me to remember who I want to be. That I need to fight for who I am, not what other's think I am. She makes me think I can be better."

"I'm happy for you," I say. "Better go and face the music."

"It will work out, Tobias," Eric says.

"I hope so." Shit, I really hope so.


	31. Chapter 31

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

FOUR'S POV

I reach our bedroom and the room is dark. I turn the light in the bathroom on so I can see to move around. Tris is lying in bed with her back to me. A clear sign she isn't ready to talk. I quickly take a shower and hop into bed.

I can't get comfortable, I don't want to move in case I disturb Tris. I don't think she is asleep, her breathing is different to how it usually is when she sleeps. But I can't stay here like this either.

"Tris," I softly say.

"I'm not ready to talk to you yet," she replies.

"I don't think I am either, but I can't sleep."

Tris turns around and watches me lying on my back for a minute. She then moves across and puts her head on my chest. "I'm not happy with you, but I can't seem to sleep without you either," Tris grumbles.

I don't say anything. I just hold her close. At least there is hope that we can get through this.

* * *

I wake the next morning and Tris isn't here. I look at my watch and see that it is almost lunchtime. I should get up but I don't feel like moving right now. I wonder what time she got up. I feel the bed and it is still warm next to me. That makes me feel a little better.

"You okay?"

I look up to see Lynn standing in the doorway.

I nod.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Lynn asks.

"Sure, come in," I say.

I sit up and Lynn comes and sits on the edge of the bed.

"I heard you and Eric talking last night," she confesses, not looking me in the eyes.

"What's wrong Lynn?" I ask. "You don't feel the same way?"

"It's not that," Lynn replies. "It's just, this book is letting a lot of secrets out. I just. I mean. What if there was someone else, that I thought about that way? Before we ended up here. I know I didn't have a chance with them, it's just, it's complicated."

Lynn is blushing, twice in two days. Never thought I would see it once but twice.

"You're asking me for relationship advice?" I ask, raising my eyebrow.

Lynn starts to laugh. "It was you or Tris? Nobody else knows. I'm doomed, aren't I?"

It's my turn to laugh. "By what's happening in the books, I think we all are," I finally say.

"No, no way. We are getting a second chance. We are going to change things," Lynn states emphatically.

"There's your answer," I say with a small smile.

"What?"

"Lynn, you get to change things. Whatever may come out that is in the book, it isn't set in stone. If you are choosing to be with Eric, then that is real. The book is what if. Not what is happening in here."

Lynn jumps up and goes to dash out of the room, just as she reaches the door she turns and says, "Thanks Four."

I just nod. Wondering what the hell that was all about.

* * *

"Who's ready for another exciting day reading about Tris in Erudite?" Uriah asks as he sits down.

"And Four," Marlene adds.

"That's right," Eric says with a smirk. "Romeo has followed Juliet into the evil witch's lair."

"You make it sound like a fairy tale," Christina remarks.

"What's a fairy tale?" I ask.

"What do you mean? What's a fairy tale?" Christina asks.

"Oh, Christina," Eric groans. "Abnegation remember. No Santa, no birthdays, so of course, no fairy tales."

"I don't understand Abnegation at all," Christina groans. "Fairy tales are stories made up that they tell you when you are young. They usually involve imaginary creatures and have a happy ending."

"Does that mean that Eric now believes that Tris will get out of Jeanine's evil clutches?" Uriah asks bouncing around in his seat.

"No," Eric answers dryly.

"I bet you do just a little bit," Uriah replies with a smile. "Otherwise you wouldn't have said it like you did."

"If you say so, Uriah," Eric replies.

"Yes," Uriah shouts and punches his fist into the air.

Eric just shakes his head at him.

"Does someone else want to read today?" Will asks.

"I will," Shauna says and takes the book from Will.

 **CHAPTER THIRTY**

 **I read somewhere, once, that crying defies scientific explanation. Tears are only meant to lubricate the eyes. There is no real reason for tear glands to overproduce tears at the behest of emotion.**

"Maybe you should ask Jeanine about it?" Tori suggests.

"Could you imagine that conversation?" Will replies.

"Why would you want to imagine that conversation?" Lynn asks.

"Well, I'm sure Jeanine would want to know why Tris is crying. So, Jeanine wouldn't probably give her an answer but find a whole other team of people to watch her to see if and when she does cry," Will says.

"Shauna can you just read? I beg of you, please," Lynn groans.

 **I think we cry to release the animal parts of us without losing our humanity. Because inside me is a beast that snarls, and growls, and strains toward freedom, toward Tobias, and, above all, toward life. And as hard as I try, I cannot kill it.**

 **So I sob into my hands instead.**

I want to console Tris but part of me is telling me not to. We haven't even spoken to each other today. We are sitting side by side but not one part of us is touching.

"That's a page break," Shauna tells us.

 **Left, right, right. Left, right, left. Right, right. Our turns, in order, from our point of origin—my cell—to our destination.**

 **It is a new room. In it is a partially reclined chair, like a dentist's chair. In one corner is a screen and a desk. Jeanine sits at the desk.**

" **Where is he?" I say.**

 **I have been waiting for hours to ask that question. I fell asleep and dreamed that I was chasing Tobias through Dauntless headquarters. No matter how fast I ran he was always just far enough ahead of me that I watched him disappear around corners, catching sight of a sleeve or the heel of a shoe.**

 **Jeanine gives me a puzzled look. But she is not puzzled. She is playing with me.**

" **Tobias," I say anyway. My hands shake, but not from fear this time—from anger. "Where is he? What are you doing to him?"**

" **I see no reason to provide that information," says Jeanine. "And since you are all out of leverage, I see no way for you to give me a reason, unless you would like to change the terms of our agreement."**

"Can someone please shoot her in the head?" Tori demands.

 **I want to scream at her that of course, of course I would rather know about Tobias than about my Divergence, but I don't. I can't make hasty decisions. She will do what she intends to do to Tobias whether I know about it or not. It is more important that I fully understand what is happening to me.**

 **I breathe in through my nose, and out through my nose. I shake my hands. I sit down in the chair.**

" **Interesting," she says.**

" **Aren't you supposed to be running a faction and planning a war?" I say. "What are you doing here, running tests on a sixteen-year-old girl?"**

" **You choose different ways of referring to yourself depending on what is convenient," she says, leaning back in her chair. "Sometimes you insist that you are not a little girl, and sometimes you insist that you are. What I am curious to know is: How do you really view yourself? As one or the other? As both? As neither?"**

 **I make my voice flat and factual, like hers. "I see no reason to provide that information."**

The whole room bursts into laughter.

"See, see" Uriah calls out, pointing at Eric. "See, she has Jeanine beat. She is going to get out of this. I know it!"

"Think what you like Uriah," Eric states. "I'm not believing it yet."

"I would like to know what Tris' IQ is," Will comments.

"Why?" I ask.

"Well, Tris is matching Jeanine every step of the way. It would be interesting to see just how smart she is," Will replies.

 **I hear a faint snort. Peter is covering his mouth. Jeanine glares at him, and his laughter effortlessly transforms into a coughing fit.**

" **Mockery is childish, Beatrice," she says. "It does not become you."**

" _ **Mockery is childish, Beatrice**_ **," I repeat in my best imitation of her voice. "** _ **It does not become you**_ **."**

"You really know how to push her buttons," Christina remarks.

" **The serum," Jeanine says, eyeing Peter. He steps forward and fumbles with a black box on the desk, taking out a syringe with a needle already attached to it.**

 **Peter starts toward me, and I hold out my hand.**

" **Allow me," I say.**

 **He looks at Jeanine for permission, and she says, "All right, then." He hands me the syringe and I shove the needle into the side of my neck, pressing down on the plunger. Jeanine jabs one of the buttons with her finger, and everything goes dark.**

"Why didn't you destroy it, Tris?" Zeke asks.

"I'm sure she would have more than just the one syringe of serum, Zeke," I say.

"Probably," Zeke mumbles.

"That's a page break," Shauna says.

 **My mother stands in the aisle with her arm stretched above her head so she can hold the bar. Her face is turned, not toward the people sitting around me, but toward the city we pass as the bus lurches forward. I see wrinkles in her forehead and around her mouth when she frowns.**

" **What is it?" I ask her.**

" **There is so much to be done," she says with a small gesture toward the bus windows. "And so few of us left to do it."**

 **It is clear what she's referring to. Beyond the bus is rubble as far as I can see. Across the street, a building lies in ruins. Fragments of glass litter the alleyways. I wonder what caused so much destruction.**

"Is Tris in a sim?" Marlene asks.

Uriah just nods. Everyone is silent, sitting on the edge of their seats. Shauna keeps reading.

" **Where are we going?" I say.**

 **She smiles at me, and I see different wrinkles than before, at the corners of her eyes. "We're going to Erudite headquarters."**

 **I frown. Most of my life has been spent avoiding Erudite headquarters. My father used to say that he didn't even like to breathe the air in there. "Why are we going there?"**

" **They're going to help us."**

 **Why do I feel a pang in my stomach when I think of my father? I picture his face, weathered by a lifetime of frustration with the world around him, and his hair, kept short by Abnegation standard practice, and feel the same kind of pain in my stomach that I get when I have not eaten in too long—a hollow pain.**

" **Did something happen to Dad?" I say.**

 **She shakes her head. "Why would you ask that?"**

" **I don't know."**

 **I don't feel the pain when I look at my mother. But I do feel like every second we spend standing these inches apart is one that I must impress upon my mind until my entire memory conforms to its shape. But if she is not permanent, what is she?**

 **The bus stops, and the doors creak open. My mother starts down the aisle, and I follow her. She is taller than I am, so I stare between her shoulders, at the top of her spine. She looks fragile, but she is not.**

 **I step down onto the pavement. Pieces of glass crinkle beneath my feet. They are blue and, judging by the holes in the building to my right, used to be windows.**

" **What happened?"**

" **War," my mother says. "This is what we've been trying so hard to avoid."**

" **And the Erudite will help us ... by doing what?"**

" **I worry that all your father's blustering about Erudite has been to your detriment," she says gently. "They've made mistakes, of course, but they, like everyone else, are a blend of good and bad, not one or the other. What would we do without our doctors, our scientists, our teachers?"**

 **She smooths down my hair.**

" **Take care to remember that, Beatrice."**

" **I will," I promise.**

 **We keep walking. But something about what she said bothers me. Is it what she said about my father? No—my father is always complaining about Erudite. Is it what she said about Erudite? I hop over a large shard of glass. No, that can't be it. She was right about Erudite. All my teachers were Erudite, and so was the doctor who set my mother's arm when she broke it several years ago.**

 **It's the last part. "Take care to remember." As if she won't have the opportunity to remind me later. I feel something shift in my mind, like something that was closed has just opened.**

" **Mom?" I say.**

 **She looks back at me. A lock of blond hair falls from its knot and touches her cheek.**

" **I love you."**

 **I point at a window to my left, and it explodes. Particles of glass rain over us.**

 **I don't want to wake up in a room in Erudite headquarters, so I don't open my eyes right away, not even when the simulation fades. I try to preserve the image of my mother and the hair sticking to her cheekbone for as long as I can. But when all I see is the redness of my own eyelids, I open them.**

" **You'll have to do better than that," I say to Jeanine.**

 **She says, "That was only the beginning."**

"It's not just that you are aware in the simulations Tris, it's the way you work out the problem when you are in it," Eric says. He then turns to Uriah. "That's why her times were even better than yours. It's the way she breaks it down."

"If we survive all this," Lynn says. "Then shouldn't we be looking at ways to make it more fair for non-divergent's in simulations?"

"How could we do that?" Zeke asks. "There must be people who aren't Divergent that can get through the sims quick."

"What about not counting the second stage of initiation? Or use the landscape in second stage but only to see individual fears," Tori says.

"Wouldn't your always get the same first fear if we used the landscape?" Lynn asks.

"We could skip the fear," I say.

"Or they could do what they did to us," Zeke remarks.

"What did they do to you?" Tris asks.

"We had to go through our fear landscape as soon as we jumped onto the net," Eric says.

"WHAT?" Christina screams. "Why would you do that?"

"We wanted to see if knowing their fears before they begun training, if it would better prepare them for the rest of initiation," Max says.

"Do you think that is why Four came in first?" Tori asks.

"Why would you think that?" Uriah asks.

"Did he psyche Eric out of first place because he only had four fears?" Tori asks.

Bravely Uriah asks, "Eric?"

"I don't think so," Eric replies. "I wish I could say it did but I think that Four had a determination that no one could match."

"I agree," Max remarks. "I think the fight between Eric and Four was one of the best I've ever seen in initiation history. Either could have taken on the Dauntless borns and I believe they would have won. I think Eric was too cocky and that is why he came in second. I also believe that Four was so focused and trained so hard that no one was going to get passed him."

"That's the end of the chapter," Shauna says. "Does someone else want to read?"


	32. Chapter 32

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

FOUR'S POV

"I'll read," Marlene says, getting up to get the book from Shauna.

I really hope she doesn't get too upset and start to cry while she is reading.

 **CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE**

 **That night I dream, not of Tobias, and not of Will, but of my mother. We stand in the Amity orchards, where the apples are ripe and dangle just inches above our heads. Leaf shadows pattern her face, and she wears black, though I never saw her in black when she was alive. She is teaching me to braid hair, demonstrating on a lock of her own, laughing when my fingers fumble.**

"Do you think the simulation you went through the day before is why that happened?" Eric asks.

"Probably," Tris replies.

 **I wake wondering how I did not notice, every day I sat across from her at the breakfast table, that she was full to bursting with Dauntless energy. Was it because she hid it well? Or was it because I wasn't looking?**

"I think that it's because we don't think much about what our parents were like when they were younger or where they may have come from. I think we assume that they were from the faction that they chose," Eric says.

 **I bury my face in the thin mattress I slept on. I will never know her. But at least she will never know what I did to Will, either. At this point I don't think I could bear it if she did.**

"You don't think that she would be watching over you if she dies?" Christina asks.

"I don't know," Tris replies. "I think that I would just be glad I wouldn't have to face her with the knowledge of knowing I killed Will."

 **I am still blinking the haze of sleep from my eyes when I follow Peter down the corridor, seconds or minutes later, I can't tell.**

" **Peter." My throat aches; I must have screamed while I slept. "What time is it?"**

 **He wears a watch, but the face is covered, so I can't see it. He doesn't even bother to look at it.**

" **Why are you constantly escorting me places?" I say. "Isn't there a depraved activity you're supposed to be taking part in? Kicking puppies or spying on girls while they change, or something?"**

" **I know what you did to Will, you know. Don't pretend that you're better than I am, because you and I, we're exactly the same."**

"How can he think that?" Lynn asks.

"I don't think anyone wants to know how that snakes mind works," Max mutters.

I do have to agree with him.

 **The only thing that distinguishes one hallway from another, here, is their length. I decide to label them according to how many steps I take before I turn. Ten. Forty-seven. Twenty-nine.**

" **You're wrong," I say. "We may both be bad, but there's a huge difference between us—I'm not content with being this way."**

"You're not bad Tris," Marlene says. "That's my own comment, not the books."

"Thanks Marlene," Tris says with a small smile.

 **Peter snorts a little, and we walk between the Erudite lab tables. That's when I realize where I am, and where we're going: back to the room Jeanine showed me. The room where I will be executed. I shudder so hard my teeth chatter, and it's difficult to keep walking, hard to keep my thoughts straight.** _ **It's just a room**_ **, I tell myself.** _ **Just a room like any other room**_ **.**

 **I am such a liar.**

"Is Tris about to die?" Marlene shouts out. "I can't read if she is about to die. Someone else needs to read."

It looks like no one wants to read if Tris is going to die. Finally, Tori steps up and takes the book from Marlene. No words are spoken until Tori starts to read.

 **This time the execution chamber is not empty. Four Dauntless traitors mill around in one corner, and two of the Erudite, one a dark-skinned woman, one an older man, both wearing lab coats, stand with Jeanine near the metal table in the center. Several machines are set up around it, and there are wires everywhere.**

 **I don't know what most of those machines do, but among them is a heart monitor. What does Jeanine plan to do that requires a heart monitor?**

" **Get her on the table," says Jeanine, sounding bored. I stare for a second at the sheet of steel that awaits me. What if she changed her mind about waiting to execute me? What if this is when I die? Peter's hands clamp around my arms and I writhe, throwing all my strength into the struggle.**

 **But he just lifts me up, dodging my kicking feet, and slams me down on the metal slab, knocking the wind out of me. I gasp, and fling a fist out at whatever I can hit, which just happens to be Peter's wrist. He winces, but by now the other Dauntless traitors have come forward to help.**

"What the hell is this about?" I ask. I feel sick. This situation doesn't seem good.

 **One of them holds down my ankles, and the other holds down my shoulders as Peter pulls black straps across my body to keep me pinned. I flinch at the pain in my wounded shoulder and stop struggling.**

" **What the hell is going on?" I demand, craning my neck to look at Jeanine. "We agreed—cooperation in exchange for results! We** _ **agreed**_ **—"**

" **This is entirely separate from our agreement," says Jeanine, glancing at her watch. "This is not about you, Beatrice."**

"What does she need to tie Tris down if it's not about her?" Zeke asks.

"Me," I quietly say.

"What?" Zeke says. "Why would they tie her down for you?"

"Zeke," Tori quietly says. "Let me read, so we can find out."

 **The door opens again.**

 **Tobias walks in—limps in—flanked by Dauntless traitors. His face is bruised and there's a cut above his eyebrow. He does not move with his usual care; he's holding himself perfectly straight. He must be injured. I try not to think about how he got that way.**

"I wonder how many people it took to do that sort of damage to Four?" Lynn muses.

"Seeing's that the traitors are all cowards I'd say it would have been a lot," Zeke says.

"Well I hope he hurt them badly," Lynn says.

"Probably held him down, bastards," Zeke snaps.

" **What is this?" he says, his voice rough and creaky.**

 **From screaming, probably.**

 **My throat feels swollen.**

" **Tris," he says, and he lurches toward me, but the Dauntless traitors are too quick. They grab him before he can move more than a few steps. "Tris, are you okay?"**

" **Yeah," I say. "Are you?"**

 **He nods. I don't believe him.**

" **Rather than waste any more time, Mr. Eaton, I thought I would take the most logical approach. Truth serum would be preferable, of course, but it would take days to coerce Jack Kang into handing some over, as it is jealously guarded by the Candor, and I'd rather not waste a few days." She steps forward, a syringe in hand. This serum is tinted gray. It could be a new version of the simulation serum, but I doubt it.**

"Why didn't she just make some? Don't Erudite make the serums?" Christine asks. "If not, where do the serums come from?"

I don't know the answer. I thought they did, they made our simulation serum, so why don't they make the truth serum?

 **I wonder what it does. It can't be good, if she looks this pleased with herself.**

" **In a few seconds, I will inject Tris with this liquid. At that point, I trust, your selfless instincts will take over and you will tell me exactly what I need to know."**

" **What does she need to know?" I say, interrupting her.**

" **Information about the factionless safe houses," he replies without looking at me.**

 **My eyes widen. The factionless are the last hope any of us has, now that half the loyal Dauntless and all the Candor are simulation-ready, and half the Abnegation are dead.**

" **Don't give it to her. I'm going to die anyway. Don't give her anything."**

"Jeanine is going to torture Tris to get information out of Four. Evil," Lynn says shaking her head.

" **Remind me, Mr. Eaton," says Jeanine. "What do Dauntless simulations do?"**

" **This isn't a classroom," he replies through gritted teeth. "Tell me what you're going to do."**

"I'm sure Jeanine isn't used to being talked to the way Tris and Four have been. I'm surprised she is tolerating it, especially from two Abnegation transfers," Eric chuckles.

" **I will if you answer my very simple question."**

" **Fine." Tobias's eyes shift to me. "The simulations stimulate the amygdala, which is responsible for processing fear, induce a hallucination based on that fear, and then transmit the data to a computer to be processed and observed."**

 **It sounds like he's had that memorized for a long time. Maybe he has—he did spend a lot of time running simulations.**

" **Very good," she says. "When I was developing the Dauntless simulations, years ago, we discovered that certain levels of potency overwhelmed the brain and made it too insensible with terror to invent new surroundings, which was when we diluted the solution so that the simulations would be more instructive. But I still remember how to make it."**

 **She taps the syringe with her fingernail.**

" **Fear," she says, "is more powerful than pain. So is there anything you'd like to say, before I inject Ms. Prior?"**

 **Tobias presses his lips together.**

 **And Jeanine inserts the needle.**

"FOUR!" Marlene shouts. "How can you let her do this?"

I sigh. I don't want to read this anymore.

"That's a page break," Tori tells us.

 **It begins quietly, with the pounding of a heart. I am not sure, at first, whose heartbeat I'm hearing, because it's far too loud to be my own. But then I realize that it is my own, and it's getting faster and faster.**

 **Sweat collects in my palms and behind my knees. And then I have to gasp in order to breathe. That's when the screaming starts**

 **And I**

 **Can't**

 **Think.**

"I wonder what happened?" Lynn comments. "Because you are telling us how your body is reacting but we don't know what you have seen."

"Jeanine said that it would overwhelm her brain, that is what her reactions are telling us too," Eric says.

"She probably can't put it into words," Will remarks.

Whatever it is that is happening it is making me sick. I know my breathing has quickened. I feel a cold hand move into my own. I look down and see that Tris is holding my hand. I look from my hand to Tris and she is looking up at me with hope in her eyes.

"Come here," I whisper and I pull Tris onto my lap, she is facing me and buries her face into my chest, wrapping her arms around me. "I love you," I whisper into her ear.

"I love you, too," she whispers back.

"Another page break," Tori say.

 **Tobias is fighting the Dauntless traitors by the door.**

 **I hear what sounds like a child's scream beside me, and wrench my head around to see where it's coming from, but there is only a heart monitor. Above me the lines between the ceiling tiles warp and twist into monstrous creatures. The scent of rotting flesh fills the air and I gag. The monstrous creatures take on a more definite shape—they are birds, crows, with beaks as long as my forearm and wings so dark they seem to swallow all the light.**

"What is going on?" Lynn asks.

"I think your wish is coming true," Eric says. "I think this is what Tris is seeing."

" **Tris," says Tobias. I look away from the crows.**

 **He stands by the door, where he was before I was injected, but now he has a knife. He holds it out from his body and turns it so the blade points in, at his stomach. Then he brings it toward himself, touching the tip of the blade to his stomach.**

" **What are you doing? Stop!"**

 **He smiles a little and says, "I'm doing this for you."**

 **He pushes the knife in farther, slow, and blood stains the hem of his shirt. I gag, and throw myself against the bonds holding me to the table. "No, stop!" I thrash and in a simulation I would have pulled free by now so this must mean that this is real, it's real. I scream and he sticks the knife in to the handle. He collapses to the floor and his blood spills fast and surrounds him. The shadow-birds turn their beady eyes on him and swarm in a tornado of wings and talons, pecking at his skin. I see his eyes through the whirling feathers and he is still awake.**

 **A bird lands on the fingers that hold the knife. He draws it out again and it clatters to the ground and I should hope that he is dead but I'm selfish so I can't. My back lifts from the table and all my muscles clench and my throat aches from this scream that no longer shapes itself into words and will not stop.**

"That's a page break," Tori says.

"Thank goodness," Lynn sighs.

"But you wanted to see what happened?" Shauna remarks.

Lynn just glares at her sister, I don't think she likes to be reminded, now that she has heard about the fears.

Nobody else speaks. I think that we are all in shock at what Tris is having to go through. What Jeanine is willing to put her through.

" **Sedative," a stern voice commands.**

 **Another needle in my neck, and my heart begins to slow down. I sob with relief. For seconds all I can do is sob with relief.**

 **That was not fear. That was something else; an emotion that should not exist.**

" **Let me go," Tobias says, and he sounds scratchier than before. I blink fast so I can see him through my tears. There are red marks on his arms from where the Dauntless traitors held him back, but he is not dying; he is all right. "That's the only way I'll tell you, is if you let me go."**

Tris holds me like her life depends upon it. I rub my hands up and down her back, trying to comfort her or maybe, I'm trying to comfort myself. I don't know.

 **Jeanine nods, and he runs to me. He wraps one hand around mine and touches my hair with the other. His fingertips come away wet with tears. He doesn't wipe them off. He leans over and presses his forehead to mine.**

" **The factionless safe houses," he says dully, right against my cheek. "Get me a map and I'll mark them for you."**

 **His forehead feels cool and dry against mine. My muscles ache, probably from being clenched for however long Jeanine left me with that serum pulsing through me.**

"How long do you think it would have taken for Four to crack?" Uriah asks.

"How long would it take you Uriah, if it was Marlene?" I respond.

"It doesn't matter, it shows that Jeanine will do anything to get the information she wants," Tori says, her voice laced with disgust.

 **He pulls back, his fingers wrapped around my fingers for as long as they can be until the Dauntless traitors pull him from my grasp to escort him elsewhere. My hand falls heavy on the table. I don't want to struggle against the restraints anymore. All I want to do is sleep.**

" **While you're here ..." Jeanine says once Tobias and his escorts are gone. She looks up and focuses her watery eyes on one of the Erudite. "Get him and bring him in here. It's time."**

 **She looks back down at me.**

" **While you sleep, we will be performing a short procedure to observe a few things about your brain. It will not be invasive. But before that ... I promised you full transparency with these procedures. So I feel it's only fair that you know exactly who has been assisting me in my endeavors." She smiles a little. "Who told me what three factions you had an aptitude for, and what our best chance was to get you to come here, and to put your mother in the last simulation to make it more effective."**

 **She looks toward the doorway as the sedative sets in, making everything blur at the edges. I look over my shoulder, and through the haze of drugs I see him.**

 **Caleb.**

"I told you," Uriah shouts jumping out of his seat. "I told you."

"Shut it Uriah," Zeke sternly says to Uriah as he moves his head in our direction.

I feel the tears through my shirt before I register that Tris is silently sobbing. I can't even imagine how she is feeling right now. "Tris," I quietly say.

Tris raises her head and looks me in the eye. She shakes her head a little and then lets me go, gets up and walks out of the room.

"That's the end of the chapter," Tori says.

"How could he?" Lynn says shaking her head.

"I knew he was a snake," Uriah says.

I can't listen to anymore, I need to go and check on Tris.

* * *

I walk into our room and Tris is pacing. By the time we finish these books there will be no carpet left in our room with the amount of pacing Tris and I do.

"Tris?" I carefully say.

"Why would he do this? How could he? He is helping Jeanine to torture me. I couldn't even imagine Eric doing that to a sibling. Well before we realised he wants to be good. I just don't understand it. Do you think it could have been just to make the story more interesting? What did someone say? Embellishment. Do you think it could have been an embellishment?"

I sigh. She isn't going to like my answer. How do I say this without hurting her more?

"You think it's true?"

"I do," I say. "I'm sorry Tris."

I'm standing here like an idiot. I don't know whether I should comfort her or should I just wait until she tells me what she wants. I walk over to our bed and sit on the edge.

"These books are tearing me apart," Tris admits as she walks over and stands in front of me. "They're tearing us apart, Tobias."

"No Tris," I say as I wrap my arms around her and hold her close to me. "We are not going to let this tear us apart. I know we aren't in the best place right now, but I also know that I love you. I won't let this tear us apart."

Tris lays her head on my shoulder. "I love you too," she says as she sighs.

I can't even imagine what Tris is feeling right now. But I don't want to push her for answers either. She needs time to process what we just found out about Caleb.


	33. Chapter 33

CHATER THIRTY-THREE

FOUR'S POV

"Are we ready for this?" Uriah asks as he holds the book up.

"Are you reading Uriah?" Eric asks.

"May as well," Uriah shrugs and opens the book.

 **CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO**

 **I wake to a headache. I try to go back to sleep—at least when I'm asleep, I'm calm—but the image of Caleb standing in the doorway runs through my mind over and over again, accompanied by the sound of squawking crows.**

 **Why did I never wonder how Eric and Jeanine knew that I had aptitude for three factions?**

 **Why did it never occur to me that only three people in the world knew that particular fact: Tori, Caleb, and Tobias?**

"So, Caleb went straight back to Erudite, he didn't go to Abnegation at all," Will says.

"What a dog," Zeke comments.

"Are you okay Tris?" Marlene asks.

Tris shakes her head. Marlene runs over and gives her a big hug. "We're your family now. You don't have to think about Caleb ever again," Marlene whispers into Tris' ear.

"Thank you," Tris says to Marlene and we watch as she goes and sits back next to Uriah.

Uriah gives Marlene a one-armed hug as he continues to read.

 **My head pounds. I can't make sense of it. I don't know why Caleb would betray me. I wonder when it happened—after the attack simulation? After the escape from Amity? Or was it earlier than that—was it back when my father was still alive? Caleb told us he left Erudite when he found out what they were planning—was he lying?**

 **He must have been. I press the heel of my hand to my forehead. My brother chose faction over blood. There has to be a reason. She must have threatened him. Or coerced him in some way.**

"What part of faction before blood do you not understand Tris?" Eric asks.

"Are you telling me, that you would do this to a sibling?" Tris asks Eric.

Eric doesn't reply.

"I thought so," Tris says.

"I didn't say anything," Eric says.

"Exactly," I say. "Your silence is saying a lot."

 **The door opens. I don't lift my head or open my eyes.**

" **Stiff." It's Peter. Of course.**

" **Yes." When I let my hand fall from my face, a lock of hair falls with it. I look at it from the corner of my eye. My hair has never been this greasy before.**

"When did they let you last have a shower?" Christina asks wrinkling her nose.

"How would we know that Christina? It's never been mentioned before," Lynn says with a roll of her eyes.

 **Peter sets a bottle of water next to the bed, and a sandwich. The thought of eating it nauseates me.**

" **You brain-dead?" he asks.**

" **Don't think so."**

" **Don't be so sure."**

" **Ha-ha," I say. "How long have I been asleep?"**

" **About a day. I'm supposed to escort you to the showers."**

" **If you say something about how badly I need one," I say tiredly, "I** _ **will**_ **poke you in the eye."**

"Why would they have a perv like him take her to the showers?" Marlene asks.

"Well he has seen her naked, so it would be better than if it was someone she didn't know," Eric says. "I doubt he would be in the room with her."

"I think it is strange that it is Peter that is having all the contact with her," Tori says. "You would think it would be more unsettling if it was someone that she isn't familiar with."

"I agree," Eric comments. "If Tris hadn't beaten Peter in the rankings then I would say it is a good choice but not when she ranked so much better than he did."

 **The room spins when I lift my head, but I manage to put my legs over the edge of the bed and stand. Peter and I start down the hallway. When we turn the corner to get to the bathroom, though, there are people at the end of the hallway.**

 **One of them is Tobias. I can see where our paths will intersect, between where I stand now and my cell door. I stare, not at him but at where he will be when he reaches for my hand, as he did the last time we passed each other. My skin tingles with anticipation. For just a moment, I will touch him again.**

"Shower sex," Uriah calls out as Marlene clips him on the back of the head. "Ouch, what was that for?"

"It was a stupid comment," Marlene answers.

"You didn't have to hit me," Uriah whines rubbing his head.

"Yeah, she did," Zeke says with a laugh.

"It wasn't that stupid," Uriah mumbles.

 **Six steps until we pass each other. Five steps.**

 **At four steps, though, Tobias stops. His entire body goes limp, catching his Dauntless traitor escort off guard. The guard loses his grip on him for just a second, and Tobias crumples to the floor.**

 **Then he twists around. Lurches forward. And grabs a gun from the shorter Dauntless traitor's holster.**

 **The gun goes off. Peter dives to the right, dragging me with him. My head skims the wall. The Dauntless guard's mouth is open—he must be screaming. I can't hear him.**

 **Tobias kicks him hard in the stomach. The Dauntless in me admires his form—perfect—and his speed—incredible. Then he turns, training the gun on Peter. But Peter has already released me.**

"How incompetent are these people?" Max asks. "We need to retrain them."

Eric starts to laugh. "And who is going to train them? Four isn't going to do it for you now."

"I wouldn't laugh Eric," Max warns. "If it's not Four, then it will have to be you."

"Great," Eric mutters.

 **Tobias reaches for my left arm, helps me to my feet, and starts running. I stumble after him. Each time my foot hits the ground, pain slices into my head, but I can't stop. I blink tears from my eyes. Run, I tell myself, as if that will make it easier. Tobias's hand is rough and strong. I let it guide me around a corner.**

" **Tobias," I wheeze.**

 **He stops, and looks back at me. "Oh no," he says, brushing my cheek with his fingers. "Come on. On my back."**

 **He bends, and I put my arms around his neck, burying my face between his shoulder blades. He lifts me without difficulty and holds on to my leg with his left hand. His right hand still holds the gun.**

"And the escape has begun," Uriah says bouncing in his seat.

"Bullshit," Eric states. "There is no way they can get out alive."

"Looks like we need to get two more shirts out," Zeke says.

"Don't count on it," Lynn chips in.

 **He runs, and even with my weight, he is fast. Idly I think,** _ **How could he ever have been Abnegation?**_ **He seems designed specifically for speed and deadly accuracy. But not strength, not particularly—he is smart, but not strong. Only strong enough to carry me.**

 **The hallways are empty now, but not for long. Soon every Dauntless in the building will rush toward us from every angle, and we will be trapped in this pale maze. I wonder how Tobias plans to get past them.**

 **I lift my head long enough to see that he just ran past an exit.**

" **Tobias, you missed it."**

" **Missed ... what?" he says between breaths.**

" **An exit."**

" **Not trying to escape. We'd get shot if we did," he says. "Trying to ... find something."**

"Told you," Eric says with an air of superiority.

"Whatever," Uriah answers.

 **I would suspect that I'm dreaming if the pain in my head wasn't so intense. Usually only my dreams make this little sense. Why, if he was not trying to escape, did he take me with him? And what is he doing, if not escaping?**

 **He stops abruptly, almost dropping me, as he reaches a wide hallway with panes of glass on either side, revealing offices. The Erudite sit frozen at their desks, staring at us. Tobias pays no attention to them; his eyes, as far as I can tell, are fixed on the door at the end of the corridor. A sign outside the door says CONTROL-A.**

 **Tobias searches every corner of the room, and then shoots at the camera attached to the ceiling on our right. The camera drops. He shoots at the camera attached to the ceiling on our left. Its lens shatters.**

" **Time to get down," he says. "No more running, I promise."**

 **I slide off his back and take his hand instead. He walks toward a closed door that we passed already, and into a supply closet. He shuts the door and wedges a busted chair under the doorknob. I face him, a shelf stacked with paper at my back. Above us, the blue light flickers. His eyes roam over my face almost hungrily.**

"Why shoot out the camera? They will know where you are?" Uriah asks.

"The cameras have microphones," Zeke tells us. "This way, whatever Four and Tris talk about can't be heard."

" **I don't have much time, so I'm going to be direct," he says.**

 **I nod.**

" **I didn't come here on some suicide mission," he says. "I came for two reasons. The first was to find Erudite's two central control rooms so that when we invade, we'll know what to destroy first to get rid of all the simulation data, so she can't activate the Dauntless's transmitters."**

 **That explains the running without escaping. And we found a control room, at the end of that hallway. I stare at him, still dazed from the past few minutes.**

" **The second," he says, clearing his throat, "is to make sure you hold on, because we have a plan."**

"WHAT?" Marlene screams. "No, this can't be happening. You said. . . . you said, 'You die, I die.' Why would you say something like that if you didn't mean it?"

"Just got your man card back," Zeke jokes.

"It's not funny, Zeke," Marlene cries out. "To tell Tris that, make her feel even worse for going to Erudite and then he doesn't even mean it."

"I didn't say I didn't mean it," I defend.

"Don't even Four," Marlene says. I know now to keep my mouth shut, with the glare Marlene gives me. I don't think I've ever seen Marlene this feisty over anything before.

"Can we keep reading," Tris says.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"How could she be Four," Marlene spits. "I can't believe this, here I thought he finally actually understood something about women and he blows it. You know how guilty Tris feels over _everything_. And still you had to make her feel even worse for going there and trying to save lives. _Unbelievable_."

Now I really do feel like shit, thanks Marlene I think to myself.

"Marlene," Tris quietly says. "Don't, please?"

"Fine," Marlene replies.

"Start reading Uriah," Eric says.

" **What plan?"**

" **According to one of our insiders, your execution is tentatively scheduled for two weeks from today," he says. "At least, that's Jeanine's target date for the new, Divergent-proof simulation. So fourteen days from now, the factionless, the loyal Dauntless, and the Abnegation who are willing to fight will storm the Erudite compound and take out their best weapon—their computer system. That means we'll outnumber the traitor Dauntless, and therefore the Erudite."**

"Two more weeks of torture?" Tori questions.

"I wonder why it is taking so long to make the serum?" Eric asks. "And why would they keep testing if the serum isn't ready yet?"

"What are you thinking Eric?" Lynn asks.

"I think the information is false," he answers. "Whoever the source is, I think they are lying."

" **But you told Jeanine where the factionless safe houses were."**

" **Yeah." He frowns a little. "That is problematic. But as you and I know, a lot of the factionless are Divergent, and many of them were already moving toward the Abnegation sector when I left, so only some of the safe houses will be affected. So they will still have a huge population to contribute to the invasion."**

"Wouldn't Jeanine realise that a lot of the Factionless are Divergent? Wouldn't she be better to leave them alone, at least until she has everyone else under her simulation?" Will asks.

 **Two weeks. Will I be able to make it through two weeks of this? I am already so tired I'm finding it difficult to stand on my own. Even the rescue that Tobias is proposing barely appeals to me. I don't want freedom. I want sleep. I want this to end.**

" **I don't ..." I choke on the words and start to cry. "I can't ... make it ... that long."**

" **Tris," he says sternly. He never coddles me. I wish that, just this once, he would coddle me. "You have to. You have to survive this."**

" **Why?" The question forms in my stomach and launches from my throat like a moan. I feel like thumping my fists against his chest, like a child throwing a tantrum. Tears cover my cheeks, and I know I'm acting ridiculous but I can't stop. "Why do I have to? Why can't someone else do something for once? What if I don't want to do this anymore?"**

 **And what** _ **this**_ **is, I realize, is life. I don't want it. I want my parents and I have for weeks. I've been trying to claw my way back to them, and now I am so close and he is telling me not to.**

"Do you think that is why you left? Maybe if your parents were still alive you would have stayed in Dauntless?" Marlene asks.

"I have no idea," Tris replies. "Probably."

" **I know." I have never heard his voice sound so soft. "I know it's hard. The hardest thing you've had to do."**

 **I shake my head.**

" **I can't force you. I can't make you want to survive this." He pulls me against him and runs his hand over my hair, tucking it behind my ear. His fingers trail down my neck and over my shoulder, and he says, "But you will do it. It doesn't matter if you believe you can or not. You will, because that's who you are."**

"He's right," Lynn confirms. "You don't know how to give up Tris. You are a fighter."

 **I pull back and fit my mouth to his, not gently, not hesitantly. I kiss him like I used to, when I felt sure of us, and run my hands over his back, down his arms, like I used to.**

 **I don't want to tell him the truth: that he is wrong, and I do not want to survive this.**

 **The door opens. Dauntless traitors crowd into the supply closet. Tobias steps back, turns the gun in his hand, and offers it, handle first, to the nearest Dauntless traitor.**

"That's the end of the chapter," Uriah says as he shuts the book.

"Does anyone want to read?" Marlene asks, holding the book out.

"I will," Will says.


	34. Chapter 34

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

FOUR'S POV

 **CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE**

" **Beatrice."**

 **I jerk awake. The room I am in now—for whatever experiment they want to run on me—is large, with screens along the back wall and blue lights glowing just above the floor and rows of padded benches across the middle. I'm sitting on the farthest bench back with Peter at my left shoulder, my head leaning against the wall. I still can't seem to get enough sleep.**

 **Now I wish I hadn't woken up. Caleb stands a few feet away, his weight on one foot, an uncertain posture.**

"He's braver than I thought he could ever be," Lynn says.

"He probably decided that Tris is at her weakest right now and so, this is the best time to go and see her," I say.

"I can't believe that he had enough guts to go and see her," Zeke says, a lot of the people in the room nodding agreement to what he has said.

" **Did you ever leave Erudite?" I say.**

" **It's not that simple," he starts. "I—"**

" **It is that simple." I want to yell, but instead my voice comes out flat. "At what point did you betray our family? Before our parents died, or after?"**

" **I did what I had to do. You think you understand this, Beatrice, but you don't. This whole situation ... it's much bigger than you think it is." His eyes plead with me to understand, but I recognize his tone—it's the one he employed when we were younger, to scold me. It is condescending.**

"I don't like your brother Tris," Lynn states.

"I don't think I do either, Lynn," Tris replies.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"I'm fine," Tris says.

I know she is lying, that her Abnegation side is coming out and she is trying to not have anyone worry about her. She is going to have to get used to me worrying about her.

 **Arrogance is one of the flaws in the Erudite heart—I know. It is often in mine.**

 **But greed is the other. And I do not have that. So I am halfway in and halfway out, as always.**

 **I push myself to my feet. "You still haven't answered my question."**

 **Caleb steps back.**

" **This isn't about Erudite; it's about everyone. All the factions," he says, "and the city. And what's outside the fence."**

" **I don't care," I say, but that isn't true. The phrase "outside the fence" prickles in my brain. Outside? How could any of this have to do with what's outside?**

"What's outside the fence?" Will asks. "Max, do you know?"

"No, I don't," Max replies.

"How does Caleb know but the leaders of Dauntless don't?" I ask.

"I think Jeanine tells you what she thinks you need to know," Eric answers. "If she needs more out of you, then she gives you more information. A bit like what she has been doing with Tris."

 **Something itches at the back of my mind. Marcus said that information the Abnegation possessed motivated Jeanine's attack on Abnegation. Does that information have to do with what's outside, too?**

 **I push the thought away for the time being.**

" **I thought you were all about facts. About freedom of information? Well, how about this fact, Caleb? When—" My voice quakes. "** _ **When**_ **did you betray our parents?"**

" **I have always been Erudite," he says softly. "Even when I was supposed to be Abnegation."**

" **If you're with Jeanine, then I hate you. Just like our father would have."**

"You tell him Tris," Lynn calls out. "I wish I could punch him."

" **Our father." Caleb snorts a little. "Our father was Erudite, Beatrice. Jeanine told me—he was in her year at school."**

" **He wasn't Erudite," I say after a few seconds. "He chose to leave them. He chose a different identity, just like you, and became something else. Only you chose this ... this** _ **evil**_ **."**

" **Spoken like a true Dauntless," says Caleb sharply. "It's either one way or the other way. No nuances. The world doesn't work like that, Beatrice. Evil depends on where you're standing."**

"Shows you how stupid he is," Eric comments. "She is Divergent you idiot. You must be smarter than he is Tris, because he is really stupid. He is happy to label you as Dauntless because you don't agree with him. He truly is an Erudite."

" **No matter where I stand, I'll still think mind controlling an entire city of people is evil." I feel my lip wobble. "I'll still think delivering your sister to be prodded and executed is evil!"**

 **He is my brother, but I want to tear him to pieces.**

"I think there is a few of us that would like to do that," Uriah says.

"Tris, does this change your feelings about Caleb?" Christina asks.

"I don't really know what I feel about it right now Christina," Tris says. "I am having a hard time believing that he could do this."

 **Instead of trying to, though, I find myself sitting down again. I could never hurt him enough to make his betrayal stop hurting. And it** _ **hurts**_ **, in every part of my body. I press my fingers to my chest to massage some of the smarting tension away.**

 **Jeanine and her army of Erudite scientists and Dauntless traitors walk in just as I wipe tears from my cheeks. I blink rapidly so she won't see. She barely even gives me a glance.**

" **Let us view the results, shall we?" she announces. Caleb, now standing by the screens, presses something at the front of the room, and the screens turn on. Words and numbers I don't understand fill them.**

" **We discovered something extremely interesting, Ms. Prior." I have never seen her so cheerful before. She almost smiles—but not quite. "You have an abundance of a particular kind of neuron, called, quite simply, a mirror neuron. Would someone like to explain to Ms. Prior exactly what mirror neurons do?"**

"Erudite are so boring," Marlene complains. "Just get to the point."

 **The Erudite scientists raise their hands in unison. She points to an older woman in the front.**

" **Mirror neurons fire both when one performs an action and when one sees another person performing that action. They allow us to imitate behavior."**

" **What else are they responsible for?" Jeanine scans her "class" the same way my teachers did in Upper Levels. Another Erudite raises his hand.**

" **Learning language, understanding other people's intentions based on their behavior, um ..." He frowns. "And empathy."**

" **More specifically," Jeanine says, and this time she does smile at me, broadly, forcing creases into her cheeks, "someone with many, strong mirror neurons could have a flexible personality—capable of mimicking others as the situation calls for it rather than remaining constant."**

"Would there be a way to give people more of those neurons?" Lynn asks.

"Why do you ask?" Tori enquires.

"Well, couldn't we all be Divergent if we had more of these neurons? Because they seem to be responsible for areas associated with every faction."

"That's really smart Lynn," Marlene says.

"Smart?" Shauna calls out. "Why would you want to be Divergent?"

"She didn't say she wanted to be Divergent," Eric defends. "She asked would it make everyone Divergent. Stop freaking out so much about Divergent's Shauna."

"I'm not freaking out, Eric," Shauna spits.

"Whatever, Shauna," Eric spits back.

 **I understand why she smiles. I feel like my mind is cracked open, its secrets spilling over the floor for me to finally see.**

" **A flexible personality," she says, "would probably have aptitude for more than one faction, don't you agree, Ms. Prior?"**

" **Probably," I say. "Now if only you could get a simulation to suppress that particular ability, we could be done with this."**

" **One thing at a time." She pauses. "I must admit, it confuses me that you are so eager for your own execution."**

" **No, it doesn't." I close my eyes. "It doesn't confuse you at all." I sigh. "Can I go back to my cell now?"**

 **I must seem nonchalant, but I'm not. I want to go back to my room so that I can cry in peace. But I don't want her to know that.**

" **Don't get too comfortable," she chirps. "We'll have a simulation serum to try out soon."**

" **Yeah," I say. "Whatever."**

"Does Jeanine seem to be enjoying this a little too much?" Uriah asks.

"That's a page break."

 **Someone shakes my shoulder. I jerk awake, my eyes wide and searching, and I see Tobias kneeling over me. He wears a Dauntless traitor jacket, and one side of his head is coated with blood. The blood streams from a wound on his ear—the top of his ear is gone. I wince.**

"Is this happening or is it another simulation?" Zeke asks.

"I reckon it's a simulation," I say.

"You just don't want to have lost the top of your ear," Zeke chuckles.

"So glad that you find me loosing part of my ear amusing," I retort.

"You will just have to grow your hair longer and then no one will be able to see it," Christina tells me.

"Thanks for the tip."

" **What happened?" I say.**

" **Get up. We have to run."**

" **It's too soon. It hasn't been two weeks."**

" **I don't have time to explain. Come on."**

" **Oh God. Tobias."**

 **I sit up and wrap my arms around him, pressing my face into his neck. His arms tighten around me and squeeze.**

 **Warmth courses through me, and comfort. If he is here, that means I'm safe. My tears make his skin slippery.**

 **He stands and pulls me to my feet, which makes my wounded shoulder throb.**

"It has to be a sim," Lynn says. "Four would remember that she has a sore shoulder."

" **Reinforcements will be here soon. Come on."**

 **I let him lead me out of the room. We make it down the first hallway without difficulty, but in the second hallway, we encounter two Dauntless guards, one a young man and one a middle-aged woman. Tobias fires twice in a matter of seconds, both hits, one in the head and one in the chest. The woman, who was hit in the chest, slumps against the wall but doesn't die.**

"Four would have hit them both in the head," Eric states.

"Is this some sort of game now?" Uriah asks. "See who can see the inconsistencies in the sim first?"

"That's a great idea Uriah," Lynn retorts. She doesn't sound amused.

 **We keep moving. One hallway, then another, all of them look the same. Tobias's grip on my hand never falters. I know that if he can throw a knife so that it hits just the tip of my ear, he can fire accurately at the Dauntless soldiers who ambush us. We step over fallen bodies—the people Tobias killed on the way in, probably—and finally reach a fire exit.**

 **Tobias lets go of my hand to open the door, and the fire alarm screeches in my ears, but we keep running. I am gasping for air but I don't care, not when I'm finally escaping, not when this nightmare is finally over. My vision starts to go black at the edges, so I grab Tobias's arm and hold on tight, trusting him to lead me safely to the bottom of the stairs.**

 **I run out of steps to run down, and I open my eyes. Tobias is about to open the exit door, but I hold him back. "Got to ... catch my breath..."**

 **He pauses, and I put my hands on my knees, leaning over. My shoulder still throbs. I frown, and look up at him.**

" **Come on, let's get out of here," he says insistently.**

 **My stomach sinks. I stare into his eyes. They are dark blue, with a patch of light blue on his right iris.**

 **I take his chin in hand and pull his lips down to mine, kissing him slowly, sighing as I pull back.**

" **We can't get out of here," I say. "Because this is a simulation."**

 **He pulled me to my feet with my right hand. The real Tobias would have remembered the wound in my shoulder.**

"WINNER, LYNN!" shouts Uriah.

"Sit down Uri, you clown," Lynn snaps.

" **What?" He scowls at me. "Don't you think I would know if I was under a simulation?"**

" **You aren't under a simulation. You** _ **are**_ **the simulation." I look up and say in a loud voice, "You'll have to do better than that, Jeanine."**

Zeke starts laughing. "You are awesome Tris. You tell that bitch!"

"Yeah," Lynn and Uriah call out.

"I still think that Tris has Jeanine beat," Uriah comments.

"I agree," I say.

"Thanks Four," Uriah says.

"What are you thanking him for?" Eric asks.

"Because he is agreeing with me," Uriah tells Eric.

"Pfft, you're both wrong," Eric snipes.

"Says the dead guy," Uriah comes back with. This makes everyone laugh, except Eric.

 **All I have to do now is wake up, and I know how—I have done it before, in my fear landscape, when I broke a glass tank just by touching my palm to it, or when I made a gun appear in the grass to shoot descending birds. I take a knife from my pocket—a knife that wasn't there a moment ago—and will my leg to be hard as diamond.**

 **I thrust the knife toward my thigh, and the blade bends.**

"Page break."

 **I wake with tears in my eyes. I wake to Jeanine's scream of frustration.**

"See, see," Uriah points at Eric. "I'm telling you, she has Jeanine's number."

"Do you not realise that she is being held prisoner? How can you think that she has the upper hand?" Eric demands.

"Just wait, Eric. Patience is the key here," Uriah says with a huge grin on his face.

" **What is it?" She grabs Peter's gun out of his hand and stalks across the room, pressing the barrel to my forehead. My body stiffens, goes cold. She won't shoot me. I am a problem she can't solve. She won't shoot me.**

"Oh shit!" Zeke calls out.

" **What is it that clues you in? Tell me. Tell me or I will kill you."**

 **I slowly push myself up from the chair, coming to my feet, pushing my skin harder into the cold barrel.**

" **You think I'm going to tell you?" I say. "You think I believe that you would kill me without figuring out the answer to this question?"**

"You are so Dauntless Tris," Lynn says. "Are you still questioning her alliance Shauna?" Because I think Tris has proved more than once that she belongs in Dauntless."

"Thanks Lynn," Tris smiles. Shauna stays silent.

" **You stupid girl," she says. "You think this is about you, and your abnormal brain? This is not about you. It is not about me. It is about keeping this city safe from the people who intend to plunge it into hell!"**

 **I summon the last of my strength and launch myself at her, clawing at whatever skin my fingernails find, digging in as hard as I can. She screams at the top of her lungs, a sound that turns my blood into fire. I punch her hard in the face.**

"Why didn't she just shoot you?" Tori asks.

"As if Jeanine would want to get her hands dirty," Eric replies. "She would want someone else to do it for her."

 **A pair of arms wrap around me, pulling me off her, and a fist meets my side. I groan, and lunge toward her, held at bay by Peter.**

" **Pain can't make me tell you. Truth serum can't make me tell you. Simulations can't make me tell you. I'm immune to all three."**

"You tell her Tris," Uriah calls out punching the air.

 **Her nose is bleeding, and I see lines of fingernail scrapes in her cheeks, on the side of her throat, turning red with blossoming blood. She glares at me, pinching her nose closed, her hair disheveled, her free hand trembling.**

" **You have** _ **failed**_ **. You can't control me!" I scream, so loud it hurts my throat. I stop struggling and sag against Peter's chest. "You will never be able to control me."**

 **I laugh, mirthless, a mad laugh. I savor the scowl on her face, the hate in her eyes. She was like a machine; she was cold and emotionless, bound by logic alone. And I broke her.**

 **I broke her.**

The room erupts in cheers.

"What have you got to cheer about?" Eric asks. "She has just signed her death warrant. Jeanine isn't going to keep her alive now. She has made a fool out Jeanine and Jeanine is not going to back down over this."

"Calm down, Eric," Zeke says. "Lets just enjoy this moment."

"You are the best Tris," Marlene squeals and gives her a hug.

"That was the end of the chapter," Will says.

"Let's call it a night," Max says as he gets up and moves towards the stairs.


	35. Chapter 35

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

FOUR'S POV

"Give me the book," Lynn demands, holding her hand out to me.

I pass her the book and sit back down next to Tris.

 **CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR**

 **Once I'm in the hallway, I stop struggling toward Jeanine. My side throbs from where Peter punched me, but it's nothing compared to the pulse of triumph in my cheeks.**

"That's right, Tris broke Jeanine," Uriah says with a big smile on his face.

"Don't get too excited," Eric says. "I'm sure Jeanine will have a plan."

"She can't beat Tris," Uriah comes back with.

 **Peter walks me back to my cell without a word. I stand in the middle of the room for a long time, staring at the camera in the back-left corner. Who is watching me all the time? Is it Dauntless traitors, guarding me, or the Erudite, observing me?**

"Both," Eric mutters.

"Why would both be watching her?" Marlene asks.

Eric lets out a sigh, like the answer is the most obvious thing in the world. "Because Marlene," Eric starts to explain. "The Erudite would be studying her and the Dauntless would be making sure she doesn't escape."

"How can she escape?" Marlene asks.

"I don't think Jeanine would want to take any chances when it comes to Tris," Eric replies.

 **Once the heat leaves my face and my side stops hurting, I lie down.**

 **A picture of my parents floats into my head the moment I close my eyes. Once, when I was about eleven, I stopped at the doorway to my parents' bedroom to watch them make the bed together. My father smiled at my mother as they pulled the sheets back and smoothed them down in perfect synchronicity. I knew by the way he looked at her that he held her in a higher regard than he held even himself.**

"They made the bed together?" Lynn asks. "Couldn't imagine my parents ever doing that.

"Do all Abnegation parents do that?" Marlene asks.

I shake my head. I don't want to speak about my parents. Such an image only brings pain. It was always up to my mother to do all the housework and after she left it was up to me. If something wasn't to Marcus' liking then I would suffer for it.

 **No selfishness or insecurity kept him from seeing the full extent of her goodness, as it so often does with the rest of us. That kind of love may only be possible in Abnegation. I do not know.**

"I think it depends on the people," Shauna comments. "Love can make you do all sorts of things you never thought you could."

"Loving Zeke would be difficult at times," Lynn says.

"Hey!" Shauna and Zeke call out at the same time.

"What?" Lynn raises an eyebrow. "He is the biggest man-child I know, I'm sure it takes a lot to put up with his behaviour all the time."

"I'm not that bad," Zeke mutters.

"Yeah right," Lynn scoffs.

 **My father: Erudite-born, Abnegation-grown. He often found it difficult to live up to the demands of his chosen faction, just as I did. But he tried, and he knew true selflessness when he saw it.**

 **I clutch my pillow to my chest and bury my face in it. I don't cry. I just ache. Grief is not as heavy as guilt, but it takes more away from you.**

"Do you think you will ever feel happy again Tris?" Marlene asks.

"I hope so," Tris replies.

"So do we," Lynn says. "That's a page break."

" **Stiff."**

 **I wake with a start, my hands still clutching the pillow. There is a wet patch on the mattress under my face. I sit up, wiping my eyes with my fingertips.**

 **Peter's eyebrows, which usually turn up in the middle, are furrowed.**

" **What happened?" Whatever it is, it can't be good.**

" **Your execution has been scheduled for tomorrow morning at eight o'clock."**

"NO!" shouts Uriah and Marlene at the same time.

Tris gasps at this and I pull her closer to me. She can't die. No, this cannot be happening.

" **My execution? But she ... she hasn't developed the right simulation yet; she couldn't** _ **possibly**_ **..."**

" **She said that she will continue the experiments on Tobias instead of you," he says.**

"How dare he," Tris calls out.

"What are you talking about?" Tori asks.

"How dare he call him Tobias. He has no right," Tris states.

"You have just found out that you are going to die and you are worried about what Peter is calling Four?" Eric asks with raised eyebrows.

"What would you like me to be doing, Eric?" Tris asks Eric.

"I don't know," Eric replies. "I thought you would have been doing a Marlene by now."

"A Marlene?" I ask.

Eric nods his head towards Marlene and the tears are falling from her eyes.

 **All I can say is: "Oh."**

"That's your response?" Eric remarks.

"Do you really think I would make a scene in front of Peter?" Tris asks.

Eric just shrugs.

 **I clutch the mattress and rock forward and back, forward and back. Tomorrow my life will be over. Tobias may survive long enough to escape in the factionless invasion. The Dauntless will elect a new leader. All the loose ends I will leave will be easily tied up.**

"How can you think like that?" I snap.

"Why are you so angry about it?" she snaps back at me.

"I don't know," I say. And I don't, it's just a story right now. It hasn't happened and it isn't going to happen now. I will make sure of it.

"Why would the Dauntless elect a new leader if Four survives?" Lynn asks.

"What?" Tris asks.

"The second last sentence you said that the Dauntless would elect a new leader. Why would they need to if Four survives?" Lynn asks.

"I don't know," Tris shrugs. "I'm sure I wasn't thinking that clearly."

"That's an understatement," Eric chuckles.

 **I nod. No family left, no loose ends, no great loss.**

"But Four's your family. We are your family," Uriah whines. "You have to live Tris, we don't want to see any more of our family die."

"Thanks Uriah," Tris says with a small smile. I think reality is hitting. It looks like she is going to be the next to die. How long am I going to be able to sit here and keep my emotions in check?

" **I could have forgiven you, you know," I say. "For trying to kill me during initiation. I probably could have."**

"Life really has sunk to a new low when you only have Peter to confess too at the end," Tori remarks.

"It's not the end," Uriah sighs. "Tris is going to get out of this."

 **We are both quiet for a while. I don't know why I told him that. Maybe just because it's true, and tonight, of all nights, is the time for honesty. Tonight I will be honest, and selfless, and brave. Divergent.**

"Who would have thought that Tris has so much Candor in her," Zeke chuckles.

" **I never asked you to," he says, and turns to leave. But then he stops at the door frame and says, "It's 9:24."**

 **Telling me the time is a small act of betrayal—and therefore an ordinary act of bravery. It is maybe the first time I've seen Peter be truly Dauntless.**

"Don't be ridiculous," Lynn sounds frustrated. "Peter will never be Dauntless."

There are a lot of people nodding in agreement to what Lynn has just said.

"That's a page break," Lynn tells us.

 **I'm going to die tomorrow. It has been a long time since I felt certainty about anything, so this feels like a gift. Tonight, nothing. Tomorrow, whatever comes after life. And Jeanine still doesn't know how to control the Divergent.**

"A gift?" I ask. I hope Tris can hear the frustration in my voice, because I can hear it. I also feel it. I wish she didn't feel the way she does, it is driving me to insanity.

"How good is it that Jeanine still has no clue?" Zeke asks.

"Pretty damn good," Lynn replies with a smile.

"Does that mean we are going to have to listed to Four being tortured now?" Marlene asks. "Because that would just be weird?"

"Why weird?" I ask.

"Because you are big and strong and a Dauntless prodigy. I don't want to listen to you scream like a girl," Lynn replies for Marlene.

"I don't scream like a girl," I say through gritted teeth.

"You might, we haven't heard you yet," Zeke teases.

 **When I start to cry, I clutch the pillow to my chest and let it happen. I cry hard, like a child cries, until my face is hot and I feel like I might be sick. I can pretend to be brave, but I'm not.**

"How can book Tris not think that she is brave?" Uriah asks. "You are the bravest of all of us. You are the only one who was willing to go to Erudite. You broke Jeanine. Which is like the most awesome thing that has happened all book."

"I don't know Uriah," Tori says. "Four executing Eric was a pretty awesome moment."

"Thanks Tori," Eric says.

"You're welcome."

 **I suppose that now would be the time to ask for forgiveness for all the things I've done, but I'm sure my list would never be complete. I also don't believe that whatever comes after life depends on my correctly reciting a list of my transgressions— that sounds too much like an Erudite afterlife to me, all accuracy and no feeling. I don't believe that what comes after depends on anything I do at all.**

"How many transgressions do you think you have?" Eric asks. "Because, I don't think you have too much to worry about."

"Is that compared to what you have done, Eric?" Tris asks.

"No, it's not Tris," Eric snaps. "Killing Will was in self-defence. Al made his own choice. What other transgressions are even worth mentioning?"

"How can you think that?" Christina asks Eric.

"How many people do you think you've killed Christina?" I ask.

"How would I know? It's not like we have been told," Christina snaps at me. "And what about all the lies she's said to you Four?"

"Because that is such a huge deal breaker," Eric quips.

"That's enough," Lynn says and she starts to read the book again.

 **I am better off doing as Abnegation taught me: turning away from myself, projecting always outward, and hoping that in whatever is next, I will be better than I am now.**

 **I smile a little. I wish I could tell my parents that I will die like the Abnegation. They would be proud, I think.**

I go to open my mouth but Lynn stops me with a point of her finger. "Don't," she says. "That's the end of the chapter."

"We need a quick break," Zeke says as he jumps off his seat and runs up to the stairs.

"What is he doing?" I ask.

"You should know better than to ask that question when it comes to Zeke, Four," Shauna says with a laugh.


	36. Chapter 36

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

FOUR'S POV

Zeke dashes down the stairs and throws a shirt at Tris. So, that was what he was doing. Getting her a shirt with an 'X' on it.

"I'm not dead yet," Tris snaps at Zeke and throws the shirt back at him.

"Yet!" Zeke says. "Just being prepared for what is about to happen."

"I think you have jumped the gun," Uriah says.

"Better to be prepared," Zeke replies.

"Who is reading?" I ask.

"I will," Max answers. He is probably the only person who isn't close to Tris, close is probably not the right word. Max doesn't know Tris as well as the rest of the room. I know I couldn't read right now, I don't even know how I am going to sit here and listen to what is about to happen. I can't even work out how she is going to be able to get out of this. And if she does die, does that mean I have to then sit here and listen to Jeanine torturing me? I better not scream like a girl.

 **CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE**

 **This morning I put on the clean clothes I am given: black pants—too loose, but who cares?—and a long-sleeved black shirt. No shoes.**

"You would think they would at least give you clothes that fit to go to your death," Shauna says.

"I agree," Christina chimes in. "And what's with them not letting her have any shoes?"

"At least she is wearing black," Lynn says.

"True," Marlene says.

 **It is not time yet. I find myself lacing my fingers together and bowing my head. Sometimes my father did this in the morning before sitting down at the breakfast table, but I never asked him what he was doing. Still, I would like to feel like I belong to my father again before I ... well, before it's over.**

"Is this hard to hear Tris?" Marlene asks.

"A bit," Tris softly answers.

 **A few silent moments later, Peter tells me it's time to go. He barely looks at me, scowls at the back wall instead. I suppose it would have been too much to ask, to see a friendly face this morning. I stand, and together we walk down the hallway.**

"Jeanine wouldn't show any mercy," Eric comments.

 **My toes are cold. My feet stick to the tiles. We turn a corner, and I hear muffled shouts. At first I can't tell what the voice is saying, but as we draw closer, it takes shape.**

" **I want to ... her!" Tobias. "I ... s** _ **ee**_ **her!"**

 **I glance at Peter. "I can't speak to him one last time, can I?"**

 **Peter shakes his head. "There's a window, though. Maybe if he sees you he'll finally shut up."**

This is horrible to listen to. I look down at Tris and I can see the tears starting to well in her eyes. I am willing her not to cry because the only thing keeping me from breaking down right now is how strong she is being.

"Are you okay?" Tris asks me.

I can't believe she is worrying about how I am right now. I just shake my head no. I can't speak, if I do I know I will crack.

Tris moves to sit on my lap facing me. She leans her head onto my chest and we wrap our arms around each other.

I hear what sounds something between a sob and a hiccup and I look up to see it's Marlene. Uriah has grabbed Marlene and put her on his lap, mirroring Tris and I.

 **He takes me down a dead-end corridor that's only six feet long. At the end is a door, and Peter is right, there's a small window near the top, about a foot above my head.**

" **Tris!" Tobias's voice is even clearer here. "I want to see her!"**

 **I reach up and press my palm to the glass. The shouts stop, and his face appears behind the glass. His eyes are red; his face, blotchy. Handsome. He stares down at me for a few seconds and then presses his hand to the glass so it lines up with mine. I pretend I can feel the warmth of it through the window.**

 **He leans his forehead against the door and squeezes his eyes shut.**

"This is horrible," Marlene sobs. "At least I didn't know what was happening when I died."

"Shh," Uriah coos. "Tris isn't going to die. It's going to be okay."

"You really believe that?" Marlene asks.

"I do," Uriah tells her as he rubs her back.

"You are delusional Uriah. Tris is about to die, when are you going to accept it?" Eric says.

"Think what you like Eric," Uriah scoffs.

 **I take my hand down and turn away before he can open his eyes. I feel pain in my chest, worse than when I got shot in the shoulder. I clutch the front of my shirt, blink away tears, and rejoin Peter in the main hallway.**

I look at Tris and she is looking up at me. We both try to smile but they just come across as grimaces. We don't really have anything to smile about anyway.

" **Thank you," I say quietly. I meant to say it louder.**

" **Whatever." Peter scowls again. "Let's just go."**

"Why would Peter do something nice? Is he feeling guilty for the way he has treated Tris since they met?" Tori asks.

"Peter doesn't know what the word guilty means," Christina says.

 **I hear rumbling somewhere ahead of us—the sound of a crowd. The next hallway is packed with Dauntless traitors, tall and short, young and old, armed and unarmed. They all wear the blue armband of betrayal.**

" **Hey!" Peter shouts. "Clear a path!"**

 **The Dauntless traitors closest to us hear him, and press against the walls to make way for us. The other Dauntless traitors follow suit soon after, and everyone is quiet. Peter steps back to let me go ahead of him. I know the way from here.**

 **I don't know where the pounding starts, but someone drums their fists against the wall, and someone else joins in, and I walk down the aisle between solemn-but-raucous Dauntless traitors, their hands in motion at their sides. The pounding is so fast my heart races to keep up with it.**

"It's good to see that the traitors are at least willing to respect one of their own," Zeke says.

"So they should," Tori snaps. "She is a hell of a lot braver than they are."

"I don't think you can really call her one of them. Not now that they are traitors," Lynn says.

 **Some of the Dauntless traitors incline their heads to me—I'm not sure why. It doesn't matter.**

"It does matter Tris," Uriah says. "You're Dauntless through and through. They respect that."

"But they're traitors, what difference does it make?" Christina asks.

"It doesn't matter that they are traitors Christina. Dauntless celebrate death, they also celebrate bravery. And Tris has shown time and time again that she is brave. I bet they wish they could be half as brave," Zeke explains to Christina.

 **I reach the end of the hallway and open the door to my execution chamber.**

 **I open it.**

 **Dauntless traitors crowded the hallway; the Erudite crowd the execution room, but there, they have made a path for me already. Silently they study me as I walk to the metal table in the center of the room. Jeanine stands a few steps away. The scratches on her face show through hastily applied makeup. She doesn't look at me.**

"I can't believe they have so many in there to study her," Christina says.

"That's Erudite for you," Will says.

"It probably wasn't hastily applied," Christina says. "She probably can't hide the scratches because you did such a good job on her."

"I bet she can't look at Tris because she will find this extremely emotional," Tori says.

"Why would she be emotional about it?" Marlene asks. "It's not like she even likes Tris."

"It would be driving her crazy that she couldn't crack Tris. Couldn't work her out. Couldn't find a way to stop the Divergent," Tori replies.

 **Four cameras dangle from the ceiling, one at each corner of the table. I sit down first, wipe my hands off on my pants, and then lie down.**

 **The table is cold. Frigid, seeping into my skin, into my bones. Appropriate, perhaps, because that is what will happen to my body when all the life leaves it; it will become cold and heavy, heavier than I have ever been. As for the rest of me, I am not sure. Some people believe that I will go nowhere, and maybe they're right, but maybe they're not. Such speculations are no longer useful to me anyway.**

"At least you are going out with dignity," Eric remarks.

 **Peter slips an electrode beneath the collar of my shirt and presses it to my chest, right over my heart. He then attaches a wire to the electrode and switches on the heart monitor. I hear my heartbeat, fast and strong. Soon, where that steady rhythm was, there will be nothing.**

 **And then rising from within me is a single thought:**

 _ **I don't want to die.**_

"Tris!" Lynn shouts out. "It took you to be lying on your death bed to realise this?" You need to remember this moment."

"Why do you say that Lynn?" Tris asks.

"Because, maybe it will stop you from doing anything reckless when we leave here."

"God, I hope so," I mutter.

"Tobias," Tris whispers my name.

I just shake my head at her. I can't talk to her right now. If I do I will crack. I can't crack, I have to stay strong for Tris. _I'm Four_ , Four doesn't crack. I keep repeating this to myself over and over. I'm Four. I'm Four. It's not working. I'm Four. I'm Four. I am rocking us back and forth as I keep repeating the words in my head. I'm Four. I'm Four.

 **All those times Tobias scolded me for risking my life, I never took him seriously. I believed that I wanted to be with my parents and for all of this to be over. I was sure I wanted to emulate their self-sacrifice. But no. No, no.**

 **Burning and boiling inside me is the desire to live.**

 _ **I don't want to die I don't want to die I don't want to!**_

"Couldn't have thought of this a few weeks ago?" Zeke mumbles.

 **Jeanine steps forward with a syringe full of purple serum. Her glasses reflect the fluorescent light above us, so I can barely see her eyes.**

 **Every part of my body chants it in unison. Live, live, live. I thought that in order to give my life in exchange for Will's, in exchange for my parents', that I needed to die, but I was wrong; I need to live my life in the light of their deaths. I need to live.**

"This is gut wrenching," Tori remarks. I look across to see the tears in her eyes. I take a quick look around the room and I can see everyone, except Max, is trying hard to hold it together. Even Eric looks uncomfortable, like he is trying not to show any emotion but it comes across looking like he is constipated.

 **Jeanine holds my head steady with one hand and inserts the needle into my neck with the other.**

 _ **I'm not done!**_ **I shout in my head, and not at Jeanine.** _ **I am not done here!**_

 **She presses the plunger down. Peter leans forward and looks into my eyes.**

" **The serum will go into effect in one minute," he says. "Be brave, Tris."**

"Fucking prick," Lynn shouts. "What would he know about being brave?"

 **The words startle me, because that is exactly what Tobias said when he put me under my first simulation.**

 **My heart begins to race.**

 **Why would Peter tell me to be brave? Why would he offer any kind words at all?**

 **All the muscles in my body relax at once. A heavy, liquid feeling fills my limbs. If this is death, it isn't so bad. My eyes stay open, but my head drops to the side. I try to close my eyes, but I can't—I can't move.**

 **Then the heart monitor stops beeping.**

There is a collective gasp from around the room and then silence.


	37. Chapter 37

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

FOUR'S POV

"Keep reading," I whisper.

"Four?" Zeke asks.

"Keep reading," I say a little louder.

"Aren't we going to have dinner?" Max says.

"Keep reading," I say in a commanding voice.

"But …" someone says.

"Read the next fucking chapter," I snap.

"Max read the chapter," Eric tells Max calmly.

The room is still silent other than me making demands. It is like we are all in shock. Tris has buried her face into my chest. Marlene is openly crying and Uriah is trying to console her but you can see the tears in his eyes.

Zeke and Shauna are just holding each other. Both are trying not to cry. Christina is crying and Will has tears falling down his cheeks. Tori is just shaking her head as her tears quickly fall from her eyes.

Lynn jumps up from her seat and comes over and wraps her arms around Tris and unfortunately I am included. When Marlene sees Lynn sit with us she jumps up and runs over and joins our joint hug.

"Oh shit!" Max exclaims.

We all look at Max and he has opened the book back up.

"What?" I ask

Eric is trying to look over Max's shoulder. Eric starts shaking his head and says, "You have to be kidding me."

"WHAT? WHAT DOES IT SAY?" I shout.

 **CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX**

 **But I'm still breathing.**

I let out a huge sigh as Marlene and Lynn let go and we all look at Max.

"I told you," Uriah shouts. "Jeanine is not going to win against Tris."

"Read," I say and then Zeke and Uriah start chanting, "Read, read, read."

"Okay, okay. Calm down so I can read," Max commands.

 **But I'm still breathing. Not deeply; not enough to satisfy, but breathing. Peter pushes my eyelids over my eyes. Does he know I'm not dead? Does Jeanine? Can she see me breathing?**

"What the hell is happening?" Christina squeals.

" **Take the body to the lab," Jeanine says. "The autopsy is scheduled for this afternoon."**

" **All right," Peter replies.**

 **Peter pushes the table forward. I hear mutters all around me as we pass the group of Erudite bystanders. My hand falls off the edge of the table as we turn a corner, and smacks into the wall. I feel a prickle of pain in my fingertips, but I can't move my hand, as hard as I try.**

"How can she still be alive? Does Peter know what's going on?" Lynn asks.

"Let Max keep reading," I say. I want to know what's happening. I don't understand any of this.

 **This time, when we go down the hallway of Dauntless traitors, it is silent. Peter walks slowly at first, then turns another corner and picks up the pace. He almost sprints down the next corridor, and stops abruptly. Where am I? I can't be in the lab already. Why did he stop?**

 **Peter's arms slide under my knees and shoulders, and he lifts me. My head falls against his shoulder.**

" **For someone so small, you're** _ **heavy**_ **, Stiff," he mutters.**

"What has Peter done to her? He hates Tris. You would think he would want her dead," Will comments.

 **He knows I'm awake. He** _ **knows**_ **.**

 **I hear a series of beeps, and a slide—a locked door, opening.**

" **What do—" Tobias's voice.** _ **Tobias!**_ **"Oh my God. Oh—"**

" **Spare me your blubbering, okay?" Peter says. "She's not dead; she's just paralyzed. It'll only last for about a minute. Now get ready to run."**

"You're alive," Lynn shouts and hugs Tris and I even tighter. "This is crazy."

Marlene and Lynn let us go and move back to their own seats, thank goodness. There is too much hugging when they are around. I don't like all the touching.

"Ha! I told you!" Uriah starts to gloat at Eric.

"Don't get to excited they aren't out of danger yet," Eric responds.

 **I don't understand.**

"Neither do we?" I say.

 **How does Peter know?**

" **Let me carry her," Tobias says.**

" **No. You're a better shot than I am. Take my gun. I'll carry her."**

"I never thought I'd hear Peter admit that," Eric comments.

 **I hear the gun slide out of its holster. Tobias brushes a hand over my forehead. They both start running.**

 **At first all I hear is the pounding of their feet, and my head snaps back painfully. I feel tingling in my hands and feet. Peter shouts, "Left!" at Tobias.**

 **Then a shout from down the hallway. "Hey, what—!"**

 **A bang. And nothing.**

 **More running. Peter shouts, "Right!" I hear another bang, and another. "Whoa," he mumbles. "Wait, stop here!"**

 **Tingling down my spine. I open my eyes as Peter opens another door. He charges through it, and just before I smack my head against the door frame, I stick my arm out and stop us.**

" **Careful!" I say, my voice strained. My throat still feels as tight as it did when he first injected me and I found it difficult to breathe. Peter turns sideways to bring me through the door, then nudges it shut with his heel and drops me on the floor.**

"He stops her from dying and then tries to kill her by giving her a head injury. Peter is very perplexing," Tori says.

 **The room is almost empty, except for a row of empty trash cans along one wall and a square metal door large enough for one of the cans to fit through it along the other wall.**

" **Tris," Tobias says, crouching next to me. His face is pale, almost yellow.**

 **There is too much I want to say. The first thing that comes out is, "Beatrice."**

 **He laughs weakly.**

" **Beatrice," he amends, and touches his lips to mine. I curl my fingers into his shirt.**

"Ugh, really Tris?" Lynn asks. "How did your parents pick that for your name?"

" **Unless you want me to throw up all over you guys, you might want to save it for later."**

"There's the Peter we know," Tris says with a laugh. It's the first thing she has said since we thought she was dead.

"Are you okay?" I ask her.

"Yeah," Tris says sounding breathless. I don't think she has breathed much in the last few minutes.

" **Where are we?" I ask.**

" **This is the trash incinerator," says Peter, slapping the square door. "I turned it off. It'll take us to the alley. And then your aim had better be perfect, Four, if you want to get out of the Erudite sector alive."**

"Why would Peter do this?" Marlene asks. "I don't understand."

"I don't think any of us understand it," Tori replies. "But who cares, Tris is still alive and about to escape Erudite."

" **Don't concern yourself with my aim," Tobias retorts. He, like me, is barefoot.**

 **Peter opens the door to the incinerator. "Tris, you first."**

 **The trash chute is about three feet wide and four feet high. I slide one leg down the chute and, with Tobias's help, swing the other leg in. My stomach drops as I slide down a short metal tube. Then a series of rollers pound against my back as I slip over them.**

 **I smell fire and ash, but I am not burned. Then I drop, and my arm smacks into a metal wall, making me groan. I land on a cement floor, hard, and pain from the impact prickles up my shins.**

" **Ow." I limp away from the opening and shout, "Go ahead!"**

 **My legs have recovered by the time Peter lands, on his side instead of his feet. He groans, and drags himself away from the opening to recover.**

 **I look around. We are inside the incinerator, which would be completely dark if not for the lines of light glowing in the shape of a small door on the other side. The floor is solid metal in some places and metal grating in others. Everything smells like rotting garbage and fire.**

" **Don't say I never took you anywhere nice," Peter says.**

"Only Peter would think that," Christina says.

"I think he is being sarcastic," Will tells her.

"I know that Will," Christina snaps at him.

" **Wouldn't dream of it," I say.**

 **Tobias drops to the floor, landing first on his feet and then tilting forward to his knees, wincing. I pull him to his feet and then draw close to his side. All the smells and sights and feelings of the world feel magnified. I was almost dead, but instead I am alive. Because of Peter.**

 **Of all people.**

"That's an understatement," Eric says. "I can't believe he helped you. What is his motivation for it?"

"If we stop talking Max will probably be able to tell us."

 **Peter walks across the grate and opens the small door. Light streams into the incinerator. Tobias walks with me away from the fire smell, away from the metal furnace, into the cement-walled room that contains it.**

" **Got that gun?" Peter says to Tobias.**

" **No," says Tobias, "I figured I would shoot the bullets out of my nostrils, so I left it upstairs."**

"You're an idiot," Zeke laughs at me. I just shrug.

" **Oh, shut up."**

 **Peter holds another gun in front of him and leaves the incinerator room. A dank hallway with exposed pipes in the ceiling greets us, but it's only ten feet long. The sign next to the door at the end says EXIT. I am alive, and I am leaving.**

"YEAH!" Zeke and Uriah both shout out at the same time.

"That's a page break."

"I need a minute," I say as I get up. I walk into the kitchen and grab a glass to get a drink of water.

"Are you okay?" Zeke asks.

I stay standing with my back to Zeke. I can't look at him, I can't. I am only just holding on. The whole situation has just hit me and I double over trying to breath. Zeke comes over and gives me a pat on my back, which completely cracks me. I can't hold it in any longer and I slump to the floor and start sobbing.

"Shit" Zeke exclaims as he sits down next to me. "Dude, she's alive. I thought you would be celebrating. What's going on?"

I just shake my head, I don't want to talk about this. I don't like sharing how I feel.

"Do you want me to get Tris?" Zeke asks as he goes to get up.

I put my hand on his shoulder and say, "no. I don't want to worry her."

We sit here for a few minutes, silent.

"This whole thing is just overwhelming. I keep trying to stay strong. But listening to what is happening is just starting to grate on my nerves. It's worse than watching initiate fear sims all day."

"I can't even imagine us doing half the shit they are telling us we did in the book," Zeke admits. "And we still have another book to read."

"We have to find a way to stop this from happening. Jeanine needs to be stopped. The woman is fucking insane," I say.

"You're not wrong. Are you better?"

"Yeah, thanks," I mumble. Embarrassed that he has seen me like this.

"We better get back in there," Zeke says as he raises from the floor, he stands and puts a hand out for me, I reach out and he pulls me up. I wipe the remaining tears off my face and then walk to the sink and splash my face with water.

Zeke hands me a towel. "Thanks," I say.

"Anytime."

We walk back into the room and for the first time today there is laughter in the room. Uriah is telling Tris a story. Probably one of the many pranks that he and Zeke got up to when they were younger. It has the room laughing. I wish we could hear more of everyone laughing, but it's not really the time.

 **The stretch of land between Dauntless headquarters and Erudite headquarters does not look the same in reverse. I suppose everything is bound to look different when you aren't on your way to die.**

 **When we reach the end of the alley, Tobias presses his shoulder to one wall and leans forward just enough to see around the corner. His face blank, he puts one arm around the corner, steadying it with the building wall, and fires twice. I shove my fingers in my ears and try not to pay attention to the gunshots and what they make me remember.**

" **Hurry," Tobias says.**

 **We sprint, Peter first, me second, and Tobias last, down Wabash Avenue. I look over my shoulder to see what Tobias shot at, and see two men on the ground behind Erudite headquarters. One isn't moving, and the other is clutching his arm and running toward the door. They will send others after us.**

"You only shot him in the arm," Eric raises and eyebrow at me.

"Can't be perfect all the time," I shrug.

 **My head feels muddled, probably from exhaustion, but the adrenaline keeps me running.**

" **Take the least logical route!" shouts Tobias.**

" **What?" Peter says.**

" **The least logical route," Tobias says. "So they won't find us!"**

 **Peter swerves to the left, down another alley, this one full of cardboard boxes that contain frayed blankets and stained pillows—old factionless dwellings, I assume. He jumps over a box that I go crashing through, kicking it behind me.**

 **At the end of the alley he turns left, toward the marsh. We are back on Michigan Avenue. In plain sight of Erudite headquarters, if anyone cares to glance down the street.**

"Does Peter understand the word logical? Because walking in plain sight of Erudite would have to be the most stupid thing," Tori exclaims.

"Well he isn't the smartest person I know," Will says. "Probably why he left Candor."

" **Bad idea!" I shout.**

 **Peter takes the next right. At least all the streets here are clear—no fallen street signs to dodge or holes to jump over. My lungs burn like I inhaled poison. My legs, which ached at first, are now numb, which is better. Somewhere far away, I hear shouts.**

 **Then it occurs to me: The least logical thing to do is stop running.**

"Bet your glad you have an aptitude for Erudite right about now?" Lynn says.

"Yeah, it's coming in handy," Tris says with a smile.

 **I grab Peter's sleeve and drag him toward the nearest building. It is six stories high, with wide windows arranged into a grid, divided by pillars of brick. The first door I try is locked, but Tobias fires at the window next to it until it breaks, and unlocks the door from the inside.**

"That won't draw anyone's attention," Eric says with sarcasm dripping from his lips.

 **The building is completely empty. Not a single chair or table. And there are too many windows. We walk toward the emergency stairwell, and I crawl beneath the first flight so that we are hidden by the staircase. Tobias sits next to me, and Peter across from us both, his knees drawn to his chest.**

 **I try to catch my breath and calm myself down, but it isn't easy. I was dead. I was dead, and then I wasn't, and why? Because of Peter? Peter?**

"I still can't believe that he helped you to escape," Marlene says. "And not only that, he fooled Jeanine. Not many people have ever done that. Imagine how angry she would be right about now. I would hate to be anywhere near her."

"It's about time someone stood up to her. She thinks the can rule over all the factions, when she couldn't even kill Tris," Eric says.

"So, does that mean you finally concede?" Uriah raises an eyebrow at Eric.

"Fine, you were right," Eric mumbles.

Uriah jumps off his seat and starts dancing around the room.

"Sit down, you clown," Eric calls out.

"I have to savour this moment Eric," Uriah says with a big smile. "It's not like you are going to let it happen again."

"Damn right I'm not," Eric commands.

 **I stare at him. He still looks so innocent, despite all that he has done to prove that he is not. His hair lies smooth against his head, shiny and dark, like we didn't just run for a mile at full speed. His round eyes scan the stairwell and then rest on my face.**

" **What?" he says. "Why are you looking at me like that?"**

" **How did you do it?" I say.**

"Finally," Lynn sighs. "I thought we were never going to find out why."

" **It wasn't that hard," he says. "I dyed a paralytic serum purple and switched it out with the death serum. Replaced the wire that was supposed to read your heartbeat with a dead one. The bit with the heart monitor was harder; I had to get some Erudite help with a remote and stuff—you wouldn't understand it if I explained it to you."**

"Sounds more like he doesn't understand it," Tori says. "But we can't complain, Tris is still alive."

"Could you imagine how hard it would have been for him to ask for help?" Lynn pipes up.

"That was probably the hardest part for him," I say.

" _ **Why**_ **did you do it?" I say. "You** _ **want**_ **me dead. You were willing to do it yourself! What changed?"**

 **He presses his lips together and doesn't look away, not for a long time. Then he opens his mouth, hesitates, and finally says, "I can't be in anyone's debt. Okay? The idea that I owed you something made me sick. I would wake up in the middle of the night feeling like I was going to vomit. Indebted to a Stiff? It's ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. And I couldn't have it."**

" **What are you talking about? You owed me something?"**

 **He rolls his eyes. "The Amity compound. Someone shot me—the bullet was at head level; it would have hit me right between the eyes. And you shoved me out of the way. We were even before that—I almost killed you during initiation, you almost killed me during the attack simulation; we're square, right? But after that ..."**

"He has to be insane," Eric mumbles. "How can he live like that?"

"What's his parents like?" Tori asks. "The ideas and thoughts that he has, they're not normal."

" **You're insane," says Tobias. "That's not the way the world works ... with everyone keeping score."**

Lynn, Zeke, Uriah and Tori all start laughing.

"What's so funny," I ask.

"You and Eric said almost the exactly same thing," Uriah answers. "I never thought I'd get to see you two like this." Eric and I are both shaking our heads. _Just shut up Uri_ , I am thinking to myself.

" **It's not?" Peter raises his eyebrows. "I don't know what world you live in, but in mine, people only do things for you for one of two reasons. The first is if they want something in return. And the second is if they feel like they owe you something."**

" **Those aren't the only reasons people do things for you," I say. "Sometimes they do them because they love you. Well, maybe not** _ **you**_ **, but ..."**

 **Peter snorts. "That's exactly the kind of garbage I expect a delusional Stiff to say."**

" **I guess we just have to make sure you owe us," says Tobias. "Or you'll go running to whoever offers you the best deal."**

" **Yeah," Peter says. "That's pretty much how it is."**

"At least he is honest about it," Christina remarks. Trust the Candor transfer to pick up on that first.

 **I shake my head. I can't imagine living the way he does—always keeping track of who gave me what and what I should give them in return, incapable of love or loyalty or forgiveness, a one-eyed man with a knife in hand, looking for someone else's eye to poke out. That isn't life. It's some paler version of life. I wonder where he learned it from.**

" **So when can we get out of here, you think?" Peter says.**

" **Couple hours," says Tobias. "We should go to the Abnegation sector. That's where the factionless and the Dauntless who aren't wired for simulations will be by now."**

" **Fantastic," says Peter.**

 **Tobias puts his arm around me. I press my cheek into his shoulder, and close my eyes so I don't have to look at Peter. I know there is a lot to say, though I'm not sure exactly what it is, but we can't say it here, or now.**

"I'm surprised your claustrophobia hasn't kicked in," Tris tells me. "We are in a small space, Peter of all people is with us."

"Maybe because it was a stairwell, I could see a way out," I suggest. With all that we had been through, who knows what was running through my mind.

"That's a page break," Max says.

 **As we walk the streets I once called home, conversations sputter and die, and eyes cling to my face and body. As far as they knew— and I'm sure they knew, because Jeanine knows how to spread news—I died less than six hours ago. I notice that some of the factionless I pass are marked with patches of blue dye. They are simulation-ready.**

"Jeanine must have got to them before they they left the safe houses. I bet mummies going to be pissed at you about that little slip of the tongue," Eric says with a smirk.

I don't want to respond. I don't care what Evelyn thinks of me or what I did. If it meant saving Tris, I would do it again and again.

 **Now that we're here, and safe, I realize that there are cuts all over the bottoms of my feet from running over rough pavement and bits of glass from broken windows. Every step stings. I focus on that instead of all the stares.**

" **Tris?" someone calls out ahead of us. I lift my head, and see Uriah and Christina on the sidewalk, comparing revolvers. Uriah drops his gun in the grass and sprints toward me. Christina follows him, but at a slower pace.**

"You just dropped you gun onto the grass?" Eric asks, shaking his head, clearly frustrated. "I would've thought you would know better than that Uriah. And around the factionless no less. It will be a miracle if it is still there when you go back for it."

 **Uriah reaches for me, but Tobias sets a hand on his shoulder to stop him. I feel a surge of gratitude. I don't think I can handle Uriah's embrace, or his questions, or his surprise, right now.**

"Tris!" Uriah exclaims. "I can't believe you don't want one of my hugs." Uriah has a huge grin on his face, so we know he is just messing with Tris.

" **She's been through a lot," Tobias says. "She just needs to sleep. She'll be down the street—number thirty-seven. Come visit tomorrow."**

 **Uriah frowns at me. The Dauntless don't usually understand restraint, and Uriah has only ever known the Dauntless. But he must respect Tobias's assessment of me, because he nods and says, "Okay. Tomorrow."**

"Damn right I do," Uriah says.

 **Christina reaches out as I pass her and squeezes my shoulder lightly. I try to stand up straighter, but my muscles feel like a cage, holding my shoulders hunched. The eyes follow me down the street, pinching the back of my neck. I am relieved when Tobias leads us up the front walk of the gray house that belonged to Marcus Eaton.**

"You are going to Marcus' house?" Zeke almost shouts. "I can't imagine that being a good experience. I wonder if Marcus is there?"

"I doubt it," I say. "With all the factionless staying in Abnegation, I can't imagine that he would want too. Especially if Evelyn is there."

 **I don't know by what strength Tobias marches through the doorway. For him this house must contain echoes of screaming parents and belt snaps and hours spent in small, dark closets, yet he doesn't look troubled as he leads Peter and me into the kitchen. If anything he stands taller. But maybe that is Tobias—when he's supposed to be weak, he's strong.**

"That's both of you," Lynn says. "You are both really brave."

"Thanks Lynn," Tris says with a big smile and I can see Lynn starting to blush. I always find it amusing when Lynn blushes.

 **Tori, Harrison, and Evelyn stand in the kitchen. The sight overwhelms me. I lean my shoulder into the wall and squeeze my eyes shut. The outline of the execution table is printed on my eyelids. I open my eyes. I try to breathe. They are talking but I can't hear what they're saying. Why is Evelyn here, in Marcus's house? Where is Marcus?**

 **Evelyn puts one arm around Tobias and touches his face with the other, pressing her cheek to his. She says something to him. He smiles at her when he pulls away. Mother and son, reconciled. I am not sure it's wise.**

"Your mother creeps me out," Uriah announces quite abruptly.

I understand why he said it and why he thinks it. I just wish it wasn't true. I wish I could have had at least one parent who I could be proud to call my parent. But no, Evelyn is turning out to be just as bad, if not worse than Marcus. Marcus believed he was doing the right thing, he thought it would make me a better person. I don't agree with his methods and I never will. It is debatable if I will ever really recover from what he did to me. Having Tris in my life is helping, giving me hope. Evelyn on the other hand completely abandoned me, only made contact when she thought she could benefit from the man I had become. I just nod my head to Uriah. What could I say? He is probably right.

 **Tobias turns me around and, keeping one hand on my arm and one on my waist, to avoid my shoulder wound, presses me toward the staircase. We climb the steps together.**

 **Upstairs are his parents' old bedroom and his old bedroom, with a bathroom between them, and that's it. He takes me into his bedroom, and I stand for a moment, looking around at the room where he spent most of his life.**

"If all Abnegation houses are the same size. Does that mean that the Eaton bedrooms would be larger than the Prior bedrooms because there were only two bedrooms in the Eaton house?" Will asks.

"Why would you think of that?" Christina asks Will looking completely baffled by his question.

"I don't know," Will says. "I'm just curious."

"Erudite," Christina teases with a small elbow to his side.

"STOP!, STOP IT!" Christina shouts as she starts to laugh. Will is tickling her.

The mood in the room has definitely become lighter since Tris was rescued.

 **He keeps his hand on my arm. He has been touching me in some way since we left the stairwell of that building, like he thinks I might break apart if he doesn't hold me together.**

"Probably frightened you will try and walk back into Erudite and murder Jeanine," Eric remarks.

" **Marcus didn't go into this room after I left, I'm pretty sure," says Tobias. "Because nothing was moved when I came back here."**

"Isn't that really selfish?" Lynn asks. "Aren't they supposed to donate your clothes and stuff after you leave?"

"Yeah they are, but we are talking about Marcus," I answer.

 **Members of Abnegation don't own many decorations, since they are viewed as self-indulgent, but what few things we were allowed, he has. A stack of school papers. A small bookshelf. And, strangely, a sculpture made of blue glass on his dresser.**

Everyone turns their heads to face me?

"What?" I ask.

"Pretty self-indulgent there Four," Zeke chuckles.

I just shrug. I'm sure I am about to explain it in the book.

" **My mother smuggled that to me when I was young. Told me to hide it," he says. "The day of the ceremony, I put it on my dresser before I left. So he would see it. A small act of defiance."**

"Damn," Lynn says. "And the bastard didn't even see it. How frustrating."

 **I nod. It is strange to be in a place that carries one single memory so completely. This room is sixteen-year-old Tobias, about to choose Dauntless to escape his father.**

" **Let's take care of your feet," he says. But he doesn't move, just shifts his fingers to the inside of my elbow.**

" **Okay," I say.**

 **We walk into the adjoined bathroom, and I sit on the edge of the tub. He sits next to me, a hand on my knee as he turns on the faucet and plugs the drain. Water spills into the tub, covering my toenails. My blood turns the water pink.**

"I would never have imagined Abnegation homes having a bath tub," Christina comments. "Did they let you take baths? Obviously they didn't let you use bubble bath."

"Only when you are younger. Once they think you are old enough then you can only have showers," Tris tells the room.

"What a waste of a good bath tub," Marlene says.

 **He crouches in the tub and puts my foot in his lap, dabbing at the deeper cuts with a washcloth. I don't feel it. Even when he smears soap lather over them, I don't feel anything. The bathwater turns gray.**

"This is strange. It is like the end of Abnegation initiation when they have some old person clean your feet," Lynn says.

"How do you know all this?" Zeke asks. He looks confused.

"Faction history class," Lynn replies. "Did you learn anything at school?"

Zeke doesn't reply.

 **I pick up the bar of soap and turn it in my hands until my skin is coated with white lather. I reach for him and run my fingers over his hands, careful to get the lines in his palms and the spaces between his fingers. It feels good to do something, to clean something, and to have my hands on him again.**

"Any excuse to touch him," Marlene giggles.

 **We get water all over the bathroom floor as we both splash it on ourselves to get the soap off. The water makes me cold, but I shiver and I don't care. He gets a towel and starts to dry my hands.**

" **I don't ..." I sound like I am being strangled. "My family is all** _ **dead**_ **, or traitors; how can I ..."**

 **I am not making any sense. The sobs take over my body, my mind, everything. He gathers me to him, and bathwater soaks my legs. His hold is tight. I listen to his heartbeat and, after a while, find a way to let the rhythm calm me.**

"You're an orphan now Tris," Tori remarks.

"Only in the book, Tori. Hopefully it won't happen."

" **I'll be your family now," he says.**

"Who knew Four could be so sweet," Marlene coos. "Ohhh."

" **I love you," I say.**

"Finally," Marlene throws her hands in the air. "I really thought you were never going to get the chance to tell him."

 **I said that once, before I went to Erudite headquarters, but he was asleep then. I don't know why I didn't say it when he could hear it. Maybe I was afraid to trust him with something so personal as my devotion. Or afraid that I did not know what it was to love someone. But now I think the scary thing was not saying it before it was almost too late. Not saying it before it was almost too late for me.**

"I love you," Tris whispers into my ear. I turn and whisper the same words back. We are holding tight to one another, we have ever since Lynn and Marlene went back to their seats.

 **I am his, and he is mine, and it has been that way all along.**

"All this romantic crap is going to make me sick," grumbles Zeke.

"Maybe you could learn a few things from Four," Shauna says with a small laugh. I bet she wishes Zeke could be more romantic but it's not really his style. He seems to show it in other ways.

 **He stares at me. I wait with my hands clutching his arms for stability as he considers his response.**

 **He frowns at me. "Say it again."**

" **Tobias," I say, "I love you."**

 **His skin is slippery with water and he smells like sweat and my shirt sticks to his arms when he slides them around me. He presses his face to my neck and kisses me right above the collarbone, kisses my cheek, kisses my lips.**

" **I love you, too," he says.**

"End of chapter," Max says, shutting the book.

"Thank goodness," Zeke sighs. "I hope this doesn't mean we are going to have to deal with sex scenes between them."

"What is your problem with it?" Shauna asks. "You should be happy your friend found someone to love."

"I am happy, I just don't like hearing about it when I haven't got a drink in my hand," Zeke says.

"Can we have dinner now?" Uriah whines.


	38. Chapter 38

_Merry Christmas everyone. I hope Santa was good to you all. Thank you to everyone who has stuck by this story, the reviews have been amazing. Hope you all enjoy the rest of the holiday period. Stay safe and have lots of fun._

* * *

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

FOUR'S POV

"I'll read," Will says as he picks up the book. I don't know if we will last listening to this chapter. Everyone seems tired tonight. It has been a long and emotional day for everyone in the room. It seems the further we get into these books the more emotional we are all becoming. I don't know if it is because we are becoming closer and every time a friend dies or is hurt it hurts us all. Or we are just sick of reading these damn books.

 **CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN**

 **He lies next to me as I fall sleep. I expect to have nightmares, but I must be too tired, because my mind stays empty. When I open my eyes next, he's gone, but there's a stack of clothes on the bed beside me.**

"Why aren't you ever that thoughtful?" Shauna says as she slaps Zeke's arm.

I hear a few giggles around the room.

"I'm sure I have been extremely thoughtful with you in that wheelchair," Zeke replies sharply.

"You better be," Shauna mumbles.

 **I get up and walk into the bathroom and I feel raw, like my skin was scraped clean and every breath of air stings it a little, but stable. I don't turn on the lights in the bathroom because I know they will be pale and bright, just like the lights in the Erudite compound. I shower in the dark, barely able to tell soap from conditioner, and tell myself that I will emerge new and strong, that the water will heal me.**

"That's a good attitude Tris," Will tells her.

 **Before I leave the bathroom, I pinch my cheeks hard to bring blood to the surface of my skin. It's stupid, but I don't want to look weak and exhausted in front of everyone.**

 **When I walk back into Tobias's room, Uriah is sprawled across the bed facedown; Christina is holding the blue sculpture above Tobias's desk, examining it; and Lynn is poised above Uriah with a pillow, a wicked grin creeping across her face.**

"Could you imagine Four? If he saw all these people in his bedroom. He is probably downstairs completely freaking out about it," Zeke chuckles.

"Why would it bother him?" Christina asks.

"He doesn't like people in his personal space. He never invites us over," Zeke repelies.

"But it's not really his room anymore, is it?" Christina says.

"I suppose," Zeke concedes. "I just don't think he would be happy."

"I don't know how anyone could be happy after what went on in that house," Eric growls.

 **Lynn smacks Uriah hard in the back of the head, Christina says, "Hey Tris!" and Uriah cries, "Ow! How on earth do you make a** _ **pillow**_ **hurt, Lynn?"**

 **"It's probably that the pillows feel like a block of cement," Tris comments.**

 **I remember when I got to Dauntless and I was given my linen and pillow for our beds in the dorm. I thought it was the best thing I had ever felt, compared to the scratchy materials that they use in Abnegation.**

"What's so selfish about having a comfortable pillow?" Lynn asks. "It's not like the dorm pillows were all that great."

"You never want to live in Abnegation then," Tris remarks.

"Never plan on that shit," Lynn scoffs. Which makes everyone laugh.

" **My exceptional strength," she says. "Did you get smacked, Tris? One of your cheeks is bright red."**

 **I must not have pinched the other one hard enough. "No, it's just ... my morning glow."**

"You really are hopeless," Christina laughs. "We are going to have to take you down to the Pit and get the girls in the make up shop to give you a lesson."

I feel Tris tense up next to me. She wasn't this tense when we were listening to how she was being tortured.

"Probably would have helped if she had turned the light on," Lynn laughs.

 **I try the joke out on my tongue like it's a new language. Christina laughs, maybe a little harder than my comment warrants, but I appreciate the effort. Uriah bounces on the bed a few times when he moves to the edge.**

" **So, the thing we're all not talking about," he says. He gestures to me. "You almost died, a sadistic pansycake saved you, and now we're all waging some serious war with the factionless as allies."**

" **Pansycake?" says Christina.**

"Don't say a word Uriah, or so help me I will punch the shit out of you," Lynn says with her fist raised.

Uriah slinks back into his seat and hides behind Marlene. He has a wicked grin on his face, so we know he is joking.

" **Dauntless slang." Lynn smirks. "Supposed to be a huge insult, only no one uses it anymore."**

" **Because it's so offensive," says Uriah, nodding.**

" **No. Because it's so stupid no Dauntless with any sense would speak it, let alone think it. Pansycake. What are you, twelve?"**

" **And a half," he says.**

"Lauren uses it," I say.

"Great!" Lynn exclaims her arms flailing her arms around. "At least she is with the Dauntless borns and they know not to use the word. If she was training the transfers then they would all be saying it.

"Maybe I should get a job training the initiates," Uriah says with an evil grin.

"Over my dead body," Lynn says.

"Don't say that?" Marlene squeaks out.

"What?" Lynn asks.

"The dead body bit," Marlene almost whispers. "You don't want to jinx yourself."

"The book is already written Mar. It won't matter what I say, if it's going to happen, it will happen."

"How can you be so casual about it?" Marlene asks.

"I don't know. Aren't we going to stop it? Why worry." Lynn shrugs.

 **I get the feeling their banter is for my benefit, so that I don't have to say anything; I can just laugh. And I do, enough to warm the stone that has formed in my stomach.**

" **There's food downstairs," says Christina. "Tobias made scrambled eggs, which, as it turns out, is a disgusting food."**

"Christina called you Tobias," Lynn remarks. "I hope she doesn't keep saying it."

"Yeah, it just doesn't seem right," Zeke agrees with Lynn.

"I bet she doesn't say it to his face," Tori smirks.

" **Hey," I say. "I like scrambled eggs."**

" **Must be a Stiff breakfast, then." She grabs my arm. "C'mon."**

 **Together we go down the stairs, our footsteps thundering as they never would have been allowed to in my parents' house. My father used to scold me for running down the stairs. "Do not call attention to yourself," he said. "It is not courteous to the people around you."**

"Ugh, stupid Abnegation rules," Lynn mutters.

 **I hear voices in the living room—a chorus of them, in fact, joined by occasional bursts of laughter and a faint melody plucked on an instrument, a banjo or a guitar. It is not what I expect in an Abnegation house, where everything is always quiet, no matter how many people are gathered within. The voices and the laughter and the music breathe life into the sullen walls. I feel even warmer.**

"Marcus would probably have a heart attack if he could see what was happening," I comment.

"Maybe when this is all over we can go and gate crash his house, see how he reacts," Zeke says with a laugh.

 **I stand in the doorway to the living room. Five people are crowded onto the three-person couch, playing a card game I recognize from Candor headquarters. A man sits in the armchair with a woman balanced on his lap, and someone else perches on the arm, a can of soup in hand. Tobias sits on the floor, his back against the coffee table. Every part of his posture suggests ease—one leg bent, the other straight, an arm slung across his knee, his head tilted to listen. I have never seen him look so comfortable without a gun. I didn't think it was possible.**

"Four's happy with the factionless," Eric sneers. "You know I won't have a problem if you want to go join them when we leave here."

"Don't be such a dick," Zeke pipes up.

"Come on," Eric says. "I was joking, sort of."

"You can't help but to be an asshole," I say.

"You must bring it out in me," Eric says with a half-smile.

 **I get the same sinking feeling in my stomach that I always get when I know I've been lied to, but I don't know who it was that lied to me this time, or about what, exactly. But this is not what I was taught to expect of factionlessness. I was taught that it was worse than death.**

I hear a lot of muttering around the room. Most have agreed with what Tris has said.

 **I stand there for just a few seconds before people realize that I'm there. Their conversation peters out. I wipe my palms off on the hem of my shirt. Too many eyes, and too much silence.**

 **Evelyn clears her throat. "Everyone, this is Tris Prior. I believe you may have heard a lot about her yesterday."**

"She must hate trying to be nice to you," Marlene says.

"She probably only said it to make Tris feel uncomfortable," Tori replies.

" **And Christina, Uriah, and Lynn," supplies Tobias. I'm grateful for his attempt to divert everyone's attention from me, but it doesn't work.**

 **I stand glued to the door frame for a few seconds, and then one of the factionless men—older, his wrinkled skin patterned with tattoos—speaks up.**

" **Aren't you supposed to be dead?"**

 **Some of the others laugh, and I try a smile. It emerges crooked and small.**

" **Supposed to be," I say.**

" **We don't like to give Jeanine Matthews what she wants, though," Tobias says. He gets up and hands me a can of peas —but it isn't full of peas; it's full of scrambled eggs. The aluminum warms my fingers.**

 **He sits, so I sit next to him, and scoop some of the eggs into my mouth. I am not hungry, but I know I need to eat, so I chew and swallow anyway. I am familiar with the way the factionless eat, so I pass the eggs to Christina, and take a can of peaches from Tobias.**

"Are these people animals? Why don't they use plates? I can't believe they are getting to stay in a home and still they eat food like the animals in Amity," Eric scoffs. "Unfucking believable."

Zeke and Lynn both laugh at Eric's comment. I can't help but smile a little. It is true what he is saying.

" **Why is everyone camped out in Marcus's house?" I ask him.**

" **Evelyn kicked him out. Said it was her house, too, and he'd gotten to use it for years, and it was her turn." Tobias grins. "It caused a huge blowup on the front lawn, but eventually Evelyn won."**

"Why would she want to live in the house where she was so badly abused that she left her only son with her abuser? There must have been more houses that she could have chosen from. She is a vindictive bitch, if you ask me."

"Lucky no one is asking you Eric," Tris snaps.

"Seriously? You of all people Tris, I thought you would have been agreeing with me."

"I think you are right. But does Tobias need to be reminded all the time just how screwed up his parents are?"

I hug Tris closer to me, thankful that she is willing to put me ahead of what we were probably all thinking anyway.

 **I glance at Tobias's mother. She is in the far corner of the room, talking to Peter and eating more eggs from another can. My stomach churns. Tobias talks about her almost reverently. But I still remember what she said to me about my transience in Tobias's life.**

"You better not want to join her again Four," Zeke warns.

"No, I don't think I will be going near her anytime soon," I say. I know how upset Tris was about what Evelyn said, I am still really upset about it. That's not my only issue with her, but the other issues are just too painful to think about.

" **There's bread somewhere." He picks up a basket from the coffee table and hands it to me. "Take two pieces. You need it."**

 **As I chew on the bread crust, I look at Peter and Evelyn again.**

" **I think she's trying to recruit him," Tobias says. "She has a way of making the factionless life sound extraordinarily appealing."**

" **Anything to get him out of Dauntless. I don't care if he saved my life, I still don't like him."**

"Evelyn is in for a rude shock if she recruits Peter. He will run to whichever side is winning," Max says with disgust in his voice.

" **Hopefully we won't have to worry about faction distinctions anymore by the time this is over. It'll be nice, I think."**

The room erupts. Everyone is talking over the top of each other, words such as _ridiculous_ , _never going to happen_ and _no way_ are among the many that are being thrown around.

Eventually Max has had enough and shouts, "ENOUGH! Just calm down and let Will keep reading. I would like to get to bed some time tonight."

The room quickly settles and Will begins to read.

 **I don't say anything. I don't feel like picking a fight with him here. Or reminding him that it won't be so easy to persuade Dauntless and Candor to join the factionless in their crusade against the faction system. It may take another war.**

"I think that is what Evelyn wants," Eric says. "She wants another war. She wants to be in control of everyone. She is very similar to Jeanine."

Can't argue with him. Unfortunately, I think he is right.

 **The front door opens, and Edward enters. Today he wears a patch with a blue eye painted on it, complete with a half-lowered eyelid. The effect of the overlarge eye against his otherwise handsome face is both grotesque and amusing.**

"Bit of a freak, isn't he?" Uriah comments.

" **Eddie!" someone calls out in greeting. But Edward's good eye has already fallen on Peter. He starts across the room, nearly kicking a can of food out of someone's hand. Peter presses into the shadow of the door frame like he is trying to disappear into it.**

 **Edward stops inches from Peter's feet, and then jerks toward him like he is about to throw a punch. Peter jolts back so hard he slams his head into the wall. Edward grins, and all around us, the factionless laugh.**

" **Not so brave in broad daylight," Edward says. And then, to Evelyn, "Make sure you don't give him any utensils. Never know what he might do with them."**

"But he didn't do it," Eric calls out.

"That's right," Christina says. "You saw him in the Pit."

"Edward believed it was Peter and Drew and he wouldn't listen once he had made up his mind to leave."

 **As he speaks, he plucks the fork from Peter's hand.**

" **Give that back," says Peter.**

 **Edward slams his free hand into Peter's throat, and presses the tines of the fork between his fingers, right against Peter's Adam's apple. Peter stiffens, blood rushing into his face.**

" **Keep your mouth shut around me," he says, his voice low, "or I will do this again, only next time, I'll shove it right through your esophagus."**

" **That's enough," Evelyn says. Edward drops the fork and releases Peter. Then he walks across the room and sits next to the person who called him "Eddie" a moment before.**

" **I don't know if you know this," Tobias says, "but Edward is a little unstable."**

" **I'm getting that," I say.**

" **That Drew guy, who helped Peter perform that butter-knife maneuver," Tobias says. "Apparently when he got kicked out of Dauntless, he tried to join the same group of factionless Edward was a part of. Notice that you haven't seen Drew anywhere."**

" **Did Edward kill him?" I say.**

" **Nearly," Tobias says. "Evidently that's why that other transfer—Myra, I think her name was?—left Edward. Too gentle to bear it."**

"Poor Myra," Marlene softly says. "She really got the rough end of it all. She was never going to last in Dauntless, even if we weren't having the cuts, I don't think she could have coped."

"I think the choosing age needs to be raised," Tori says. "Sixteen is too young."

"What age would you suggest?" Eric asks curiously.

"I don't know," Tori replies. "In olden times you could vote at eighteen but you couldn't drink until twenty-one. So somewhere in there I suppose."

"You couldn't drink until you were twenty-one?" Zeke sounds shocked. "That is a terrible idea."

"I think it is better for you to transfer at the younger age," Max says. "There have been discussions for years about the transfer age. Erudite did a study and found that it is better for transfers to have left earlier, otherwise when they were older they would more likely stay in their birth faction just because it is familiar."

"Plus, it is better this way for Dauntless initiation," Eric says.

"How so?" I ask.

"Look at the build you are now and try to remember back to when you transferred. Girls develop a few years earlier than guys. This way it gives the girls more of a chance to succeed within Dauntless."

"Are you saying that girls can't be as strong as you guys?" Lynn asks disgusted.

"It's not all about strength Lynn," I say, hoping to calm her. "You are never going to be the same build as say, someone like Eric but with the right training you are strong enough to take down any guy outside our faction. Yes, you give Eric a good run for his money, we've seen that with the bruises he comes in with after you two have sparred. But I think what Eric is trying to say is that at sixteen the training is fairer than if you were eighteen. Especially for the transfers, who haven't had any type of fight training before they get to Dauntless. Unless you are Edward who was studying for years."

 **I feel hollow at the thought of Drew, almost dead at the hands of Edward. Drew attacked me, too.**

" **I don't want to talk about this," I say.**

" **Okay," Tobias says. He touches my shoulder. "Is it hard for you to be in an Abnegation house again? I meant to ask before. We can go somewhere else, if it is."**

 **I finish my second piece of bread. All Abnegation houses are the same, so this living room is exactly the same as my own, and it does bring back memories, if I look at it carefully. Light glowing through the blinds every morning, enough for my father to read by. The click of my mother's knitting needles every evening. But I don't feel like I'm choking. It's a start.**

" **Yes," I say. "But not as hard as you might think."**

 **He raises an eyebrow.**

" **Really. The simulations in Erudite headquarters ... helped me, somehow. To hold on, maybe." I frown. "Or maybe not. Maybe they helped me to stop holding on so tightly." That sounds right. "Someday I'll tell you about it." My voice sounds far away.**

 **He touches my cheek and, even though we're in a room full of people, crowded by laughter and conversation, slowly kisses me.**

" **Whoa there, Tobias," says the man to my left. "Weren't you raised a Stiff? I thought the most you people did was ... graze hands or something."**

"Another person calling you Tobias. What is it with these people?" Zeke asks.

" **Then how do you explain all the Abnegation children?" Tobias raises his eyebrows.**

" **They're brought into being by sheer force of will," the woman on the arm of the chair interjects. "Didn't you know that, Tobias?"**

" **No, I wasn't aware." He grins. "My apologies."**

 **They all laugh. We all laugh. And it occurs to me that I might be meeting Tobias's true faction. They are not characterized by a particular virtue. They claim all colors, all activities, all virtues, and all flaws as their own.**

 **I don't know what binds them together. The only common ground they have, as far as I know, is failure. Whatever it is, it seems to be enough.**

 **I feel, as I look at him, that I am finally seeing him as he is, instead of how he is in relation to me. So how well do I really know him, if I have not seen this before?**

"Are you calling him a failure Tris?" Will asks.

"What? No. I don't think I am. I don't know," Tris bumbles through her response.

"I think his mother has poisoned him," Lynn says. Which we all get a laugh out of.

"I agree," Tori says. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You can see how comfortable he is with the factionless," Eric states. "Maybe that is where he belongs."

"Fuck you," I shout at Eric.

"I think it's because he is Divergent," Uriah says. "He doesn't have to hide who he really is. It's hard trying to just be Dauntless all the time. I don't understand why we can't just be who we are, without worrying about who might find out about who we are. We chose Dauntless, we want to be Dauntless. That should be enough," Uriah says.

"But look what happened when the sim was over," Tori states. "The Dauntless split in half."

"They took our free will away," Uriah counters. "We are trained to follow orders, if the orders weren't so insanely wrong, then our leaders wouldn't have put us into a sim. Even they must have known that what they wanted us to do was wrong. Because being Dauntless we would have done what we were told."

"So, are you saying that you would have followed your leaders' orders if they hadn't put you into a sim?" I ask.

"NO!" Uriah shouts. "That is my point. The leaders were wrong. They knew that we would not do what they were asking us to do because it was insane. If we had, had a chance to think about what they wanted us to do then there would have been a revolt. And this isn't about whether you are Divergent or not, no sane person would agree to killing unarmed children."

"What about those factionless children?" Eric asks.

"You are talking about the kids that attacked the patrols last summer?" I ask.

"Yeah, they killed three Dauntless."

"But they were armed and were deliberately trying to harm Dauntless patrols," Uriah says. "That is entirely different to this situation with the Abnegation. I wouldn't hesitate to protect my fellow Dauntless."

"That's a page break."

 **The sun is beginning to set. The Abnegation sector is far from quiet. The Dauntless and factionless wander the streets, some with bottles in their hands, some with guns in their other hands.**

 **Ahead of me, Zeke pushes Shauna in her wheelchair past the house of Alice Brewster, former Abnegation leader. They don't see me.**

" **Do it again!" she says.**

" **Are you sure?"**

" **Yes!"**

" **Okay ..." Zeke starts to jog behind the wheelchair. Then, when he's almost too far away for me to see, he pushes himself up with the handles so that his feet aren't touching the ground, and together they fly down the middle of the street, Shauna shrieking, Zeke laughing.**

"I can just imagine Zeke stacking the wheel chair and Shauna going flying out of it," Uriah starts to laugh.

"Give me some credit bro," Zeke says as he throws a pillow at his brother.

 **I turn left at the next intersection and start down the cracked sidewalk toward the building where Abnegation had its monthly faction-wide meetings. Though it feels like it has been a long time since I last went there, I still remember where it is. One block south, two blocks west.**

 **The sun inches toward the horizon as I walk. The color drains from the surrounding buildings in the evening light, so that they all appear to be gray.**

 **The face of Abnegation headquarters is just a cement rectangle, like all the other buildings in the Abnegation sector. But when I shove the front door open, familiar wood floors and rows of wooden benches arranged in a square greet me. In the center of the room is a skylight that lets in a square of orange sunlight. It is the room's only adornment.**

 **I sit on my family's old bench. I used to sit next to my father, and Caleb, next to my mother. Now I feel like the only one left. The last Prior.**

" **It's nice, isn't it?" Marcus walks in and sits down across from me, his hands folded in his lap. The sunlight is between us.**

"Holy fuck, where did he come from?" Zeke shrieks.

"You okay Zeke?" I ask.

"Yeah, I just wasn't expecting that," Zeke replies.

Neither was I. I hope he isn't there to hurt Tris.

 **He has a large bruise on his jaw from where Tobias hit him, and his hair is freshly buzzed.**

" **It's fine," I say, straightening. "What are you doing here?"**

" **I saw you come in." He examines his fingernails carefully. "And I want to have a word with you about the information Jeanine Matthews stole."**

" **What if you're too late? What if I already know what it is?"**

 **Marcus looks up from his fingernails, and his dark eyes narrow. The look is far more poisonous than any Tobias could muster, though he has his father's eyes. "You can't possibly."**

" **You don't know that."**

" **I do, actually. Because I have seen what happens to people when they hear the truth. They look like they have forgotten what they were searching for, and are just wandering around trying to remember."**

 **A chill makes its way up my spine and spreads down my arms, giving me goose bumps.**

" **I know that Jeanine decided to murder half a faction to steal it, so it must be incredibly important," I say. I pause. I know something else, too, but I only just realized it.**

 **Right before I attacked Jeanine, she said, "This is not about you! It's not about me!"**

 **And this meant what she was doing to me—trying to find a simulation that worked on me. On the Divergent.**

" **I know it has something to do with the Divergent," I blurt out. "I know the information is about what's outside the fence."**

" **That is not the same thing as knowing what's outside the fence."**

"Marcus knows what's outside the fence? I didn't think there was anything outside the fence," Zeke says.

"Who would trust someone like Marcus with that information," Max grumbles.

"Do you think we will learn what's outside the fence?" Christina asks.

"Depends if Jeanine still has it, there is the possibility that she has destroyed it," Eric says.

"What information does she have, that she is willing to murder almost a whole faction for?" Christina asks.

"I don't know," I say.

" **Well, are you going to tell me or are you going to dangle it over my head and make me jump for it?"**

" **I did not come here for self-indulgent arguing. And no, I am not going to tell you, but not because I don't want to. It's because I have no idea how to describe it to you. You have to see it for yourself."**

"He is so full of crap," Zeke says with a sigh. He won't get any argument out of me for that comment.

 **As he speaks, I notice the sunlight turning more orange than yellow, and casting darker shadows over his face.**

" **I think Tobias might be right," I say. "You** _ **like**_ **to be the only one who knows. You like that I don't know. It makes you feel important. That's why you won't tell me, not because it's indescribable."**

"Go Tris. You tell him," Lynn calls out.

" **That's not true."**

" **How am I supposed to know that?"**

 **Marcus stares, and I stare back.**

" **A week before the simulation attack, the Abnegation leaders decided it was time to reveal the information in the file to everyone.** _ **Everyone**_ **, in the entire city. The day we intended to reveal it was approximately seven days after the simulation attack. Obviously we were unable to do so."**

" **She didn't want you to reveal what was outside the fence? Why not? How did she even know about it in the first place? I thought you said only the Abnegation leaders knew."**

" **We are not** _ **from**_ **here, Beatrice. We were all placed here, for a specific purpose. A while ago, the Abnegation were forced to enlist the help of Erudite in order to achieve that purpose, but eventually everything went awry because of Jeanine. Because she doesn't want to do what we are supposed to do. She would rather resort to murder."**

"What the hell?" Eric sounds shocked as he jumps out of his chair.

"Calm down," Max tells Eric.

"Calm down?" Eric asks Max. "Are you insane? Jeanine got us to murder Abnegation because she didn't like the truth?"

"Well she isn't Candor Eric, so yeah. Looks like it," I say.

"This is screwed up," Lynn mutters.

 _ **Placed**_ **here.**

 **My brain feels like it is buzzing with information. I clutch the edge of the bench beneath me.**

" **What are we supposed to do?" I say, my voice barely more than a whisper.**

" **I have told you enough to convince you that I am not a liar. As for the rest, I truly find myself unequal to the task of explaining it to you. I only told you as much as I did because the situation has become dire."**

 **Dire. Suddenly I understand the problem. The factionless plan to destroy, not only the important figures in Erudite, but all the data they have. They will level everything.**

"Why is he going to Tris with this information?" Marlene asks.

"Because she will have to go against me to do it," I say. Why are both my parents trying to split Tris and I up? What would they gain from it?

 **I have never thought that plan was a good idea, but I knew that we could come back from it, because the Erudite still know the relevant information, even if they don't have their data. But this is something even the most intelligent Erudite do not know; something that, if everything is destroyed, we cannot replicate.**

" **If I help you, I betray Tobias. I will lose him." I swallow hard. "So you have to give me a good reason."**

"A good reason?" I ask shocked. "I don't understand why you would even be contemplating this?"

"Well, it's not like I can trust your mother," Tris snaps. "And I have been telling you that Marcus knew what this was all about. You are to blinded by having your mother back to see any reason."

"I hope you tell me about this," I say.

"I suppose we just have to read on and see what happens," Tris replies.

Yeah, great. This is just one big fucking nightmare as far as I am concerned.

" **Aside from the good of everyone in our society?" Marcus wrinkles his nose in disgust. "That isn't enough for you?"**

" **Our society is in pieces. So no, it's not."**

I'm glad that she is standing up to Marcus. There is still hope.

 **Marcus sighs.**

" **Your parents died for** _ **you**_ **, it's true. But the reason your mother was in Abnegation headquarters the night you were almost executed was not to save you. She didn't know you were there. She was trying to rescue the file from Jeanine. And when she heard that you were about to die, she rushed to save you, and left the file in Jeanine's hands."**

" **That's not what she told me," I say hotly.**

" **She was lying. Because she had to. But Beatrice, the point is ... the point is, your mother knew she probably would not get out of Abnegation headquarters alive, but she had to try. This file, it was something she was willing to die for. Understand?"**

"He knows exactly what to say to get his own way," Zeke says. "Manipulative bastard."

 **The Abnegation are willing to die for any person, friend or enemy, if the situation calls for it. That is, perhaps, why they find it difficult to survive in life-threatening situations. But there are few things they are willing to die for. They don't value many things in the physical world.**

 **So if he's telling me the truth, and my mother really was willing to die for this information to become public ... I would do just about anything to accomplish the goal she failed to achieve.**

" **You're trying to manipulate me. Aren't you."**

"Smart Tris," Lynn says.

" **I suppose," he says as shadows slip into his eye sockets like dark water, "that is something you must decide for yourself."**

"End of chapter," Will says.

"Great!" I say. I get up and decide I'm going to bed. I just want to blank out what has happened in the book today. I wish it was that easy and now it looks like Tris is going to side with the one person I don't think I could ever forgive her for putting her trust in.


	39. Chapter 39

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

FOUR'S POV

I start to stir and have a really warm feeling flowing through me. It takes me a few minutes to realise what is going on. When I went to bed last night I was angry and frustrated, the exact opposite to how I am feeling right now. Then I realise what is happening.

"Stop," I say as I snatch Tris' hand away from my body. As much as I have missed the feeling of her, I'm not ready for what she is about to do.

"But," Tris says.

"I can't," I whisper.

"Tobias," Tris says. "We can't keep letting what is happening in the book affect us this way."

"And you can't make it better with sexual acts either Tris."

"You don't want me anymore?" She sniffs.

I turn around so I can look her in the eyes. "It's not about what I want, it's about what is right."

"Marlene and Lynn were talking about make up sex and so I thought that . . ."

"Tris we haven't had sex yet," I counter. "And this isn't about what they say should be done. This is about us. I can't believe you are taking their advice on this."

"You weren't complaining when I had my mouth . . ."

"Stop. Just think about this for a minute. We have been on an emotional rollercoaster for days. We wouldn't have done half the things we have if we weren't in this house. I just think we are moving too fast. I'm not ready."

"Are you not ready or you just don't want me?"

"Why would you think I don't want you?"

"You've hardly touched me, we have been fighting more than you have even held my hand."

"I need time Tris, this isn't just about the books. I, I. I am not used to all of this. I didn't have anyone to show me how to love, all I've known is hate and abuse. Then I came to Dauntless and although I didn't have to worry about daily beatings and verbal tirades from my father, I still had to be on alert. Some days I just feel really overwhelmed with everything I am feeling. This is going to sound strange. But the days when we have fought, I find that easier to deal with than when you show me kindness."

"I'm sorry. I didn't realise."

"I'm sorry too. I'm not trying to reject you Tris, I just find this all overwhelming sometimes. And yeah, these books are doing my head in. Being here so close to you, some days it's just unbearable. I can't believe that you would want me and then I remember all those sermons they went on about in Abnegation, it's like it's seared onto my brain. But we are here and there are times when I just want you more than I want oxygen but then I remember what I was taught and it freaks me out. Then we start fighting and that takes me back to Abnegation again and I just don't know where we fit into everything."

"I always forget. You always seem so Dauntless to me. Even when we are talking about Marcus, I just find it so hard to imagine what he did, that you were ever Abnegation. I keep thinking about my fear landscape and I think a part of me wants to get over the fear before it becomes one. If that even makes any sense."

I can't help but to chuckle at this.

"Don't laugh," Tris says as she smacks my arm.

"I'm not laughing at your fear, I'm laughing at how you want to get rid of a fear you don't even know if you have."

"So, you don't think I will have that fear?"

"No. I think you have more chance of having a fear of having the fear."

"That's sounds completely ridiculous."

"It kinds does, doesn't it?" I chuckle.

"So, you really do still want me?" Tris whispers, like she is scared of the answer.

"I do. I really do," I say as I wrap my arms around her and just hold her. That's what I need right now. I just need Tris.

* * *

We spent the rest of our morning just snuggled up in bed. We drifted back to sleep for a while just content to be with each other. Now we are sitting in the dreaded lounge room, ready to read more.

Will starts to read.

 **CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT**

 **I take my time on my walk back to the Eaton house, and try to remember what my mother told me when she saved me from the tank during the simulation attack. Something about having watched the trains since the attack started.** _ **I didn't know what I would do when I found you. But it was always my intention to save you.**_

 **But when I go over the memory of her voice in my mind, it sounds different. I didn't know what I would do, when I found you. Meaning: I didn't know how to save both you and the file.** _ **But it was always my intention to save you.**_

 **I shake my head. Is that how she said it, or am I manipulating my own memory because of what Marcus told me? There is no way to know. All I can do is decide if I trust Marcus or not.**

"I don't think you have a choice," Lynn states.

"Why would you think that?" Tris asks.

"Well, if all this started because of something Jeanine wanted to keep hidden, then I think we need to find out what that is. And you Tris, are the only person who is in a position to find out what the information is."

"Any of us could find it out," Christina snaps.

"But Tris is the only one who knows about it," Lynn snaps back at Christina.

"Four knows about it," Zeke steps in.

"Yeah but he doesn't want to know about it," Eric tells everyone.

"Looks like you have to do it Tris," Zeke says.

"Great," Tris mumbles. I give her hand a squeeze, sitting here I understand why she is doing this. I don't like it but it's my own fault.

 **And while he has done cruel, evil things, our society is not divided into "good" and "bad." Cruelty does not make a person dishonest, the same way bravery does not make a person kind. Marcus is not good or bad, but both.**

 **Well, he is probably more bad than good.**

"Probably?" I ask.

"It would depend how you looked at it," Tori says.

"How so?" I ask. Getting a little defensive. Okay, maybe getting really defensive.

"Marcus has run the government for a very long time, it would depend if you thought he was doing a good job running it or not. Then there is the abuse of you and Evelyn, that is all bad. So, I think depending on what you class as good or bad would depend on whether he was more bad than good or vice versa," Tori says. "Okay, he is definitely more bad than good. But not all people would think that way."

"I still can't believe that Abnegation let Evelyn leave like she did and then covered it up by telling a little boy his mother was dead. Who does that?" Uriah says.

"Jeanine was right about Abnegation running the government," Marlene says. "Not the way she went about it all, but it wouldn't have been just Marcus who had to cover up what he did. Can we hand out some Dauntless justice to him?"

"You mean shoot him in the head?" Eric asks.

"Yeah," Marlene replies.

"I think that would be up to Evelyn and Four to decide," Eric says.

Everyone looks at me. I don't have an answer. Do I want to see Marcus dead? Yes. Do I want to be the one that brings that about? No. I don't want to have to go through what we witnessed me going through in the book, in Candor.

"Just read Will," I say.

 **But that doesn't mean he's lying.**

"Don't you just wish he was?" Lynn mumbles.

"If he was then this whole story wouldn't be here," Uriah says.

"So, really, we wouldn't have to sit in this place day after day reading this crap. We could be back in Dauntless," Eric says.

"Yep. You'd be alive and we'd all be having to deal with your shitty mood swings all the time," Lynn says. _Why does this feel like it is more than just about being here?_

"I don't have mood swings," Eric snaps.

"Whatever," Lynn waves him off. "We'd just have to put up with you trying to intimidate everyone. Thinking you are better than we are."

"Tell me what you really think Lynn," Eric demands.

"I just did," Lynn says. "The best thing about being in this place is that you have stopped being the asshole you used to be. We can only hope that it stays that way when we leave."

"I think you should be careful here Lynn," Max states. "Eric is still a leader of your faction and you need to show him some respect."

"What a load of crap," I snap. "Max, you and Eric are dead. Dauntless is split. The decisions you have made as leaders are abominable. Until we finish these books and see where we were headed I think you have lost all rights to having any respect shown."

"I think you should just read Will," Zeke whispers to Will. Will nods his head and starts to read again.

 **On the street ahead of me, I see the orange glow of fire. Alarmed, I walk faster, and see that the fire rises from large, man-sized metal bowls set up on the sidewalks. The Dauntless and the factionless have gathered between them, a narrow divide separating one group from the other. And before them stand Evelyn, Harrison, Tori, and Tobias.**

 **I spot Christina, Uriah, Lynn, Zeke, and Shauna on the right side of the cluster of Dauntless, and stand with them.**

" **Where've you been?" Christina says. "We looked all over for you."**

" **I went for a walk. What's going on?"**

" **They're finally going to tell us the attack plan," says Uriah, looking eager.**

" **Oh," I say.**

 **Evelyn lifts her hands, palms out, and the factionless fall silent. They are better trained than the Dauntless, whose voices take thirty seconds to peter out.**

"I'd much rather be Dauntless, then factionless," Marlene says.

" **The past few weeks, we have been developing a plan to fight the Erudite," Evelyn says, her low voice carrying easily. "And now that we have finished, we would like to share it with you."**

 **Evelyn nods at Tori, who takes over. "Our strategy is not pointed, but broad. There is no way to know who among the Erudite supports Jeanine and who does not. It is therefore safer to assume that all those who do not support her have already vacated Erudite headquarters."**

"How did you come to that conclusion?" Eric asks Tori. "Just because they don't support Erudite doesn't mean they went running off to Amity or the factionless. I'm sure some people would still feel safer being in their own homes."

"At least they have a home to still be in," Tori retorts.

"Your home is still there," Eric snaps back.

"Not like we can stay there," Tori snaps at Eric.

"Okay, okay, enough," Max says as he moves his arms in a calming motion. "Keep reading Will."

" **We all know that Erudite's power lies not in its people but in its information," says Evelyn. "As long as they still possess that information, we will never be free of them, especially while large numbers of us are wired for simulations. They have used information to control us and keep us under their thumb for far too long."**

"She is so stupid," Eric scoffs.

"Why do you say that?" I ask. Wanting to know his reasoning behind his comment.

"The people are the ones who are using the information. Do you think they are just going to forget everything they have ever learned. Yes, they will be crippled with the information destroyed but the people will still be able to come back from it. And most people have written notes as well as what is on the servers. You will find a lot of scientists and other academics will keep notepads next to their beds in case an idea comes to them in the middle of the night. Evelyn has no clue and she was originally from Erudite. Same goes for you Tori, you should know better."

"Well none of this knowledge helped you in the end, did it Eric?" Tori's voice is starting to rise.

"Enough, stop with the bickering," Max commands.

It seems everyone is a little tense today.

 **A shout, beginning among the factionless and spreading to the Dauntless, rises up from the crowd like we are all parts of one organism, following the commands of a single brain. But I am not sure what I think, or how I feel. There is a part of me that is shouting, too—clamoring for the destruction of every single Erudite and all that they hold dear.**

 **I look at Tobias. His expression is neutral, and he stands behind the glow of firelight, where he is difficult to see. I wonder what he thinks of this.**

" **I am sorry to tell you that those of you who were shot with simulation transmitters will have to remain here," says Tori, "or you can be activated as a weapon of Erudite at any time."**

 **There are a few cries of protest, but no one seems all that surprised. They know too well what Jeanine can do with simulations, maybe.**

 **Lynn groans and looks at Uriah. "We have to stay?"**

" **You have to stay," he says.**

" **You got shot too," she says. "I saw it."**

" **Divergent, remember?" he says. Lynn rolls her eyes, and he hurries on, probably to avoid hearing Lynn's Divergent conspiracy theory again. "Anyway, I bet you no one checks, and what are the odds she'll activate you, specifically, if she knows everyone else with simulation transmitters is staying behind?"**

"They aren't conspiracy theories," Lynn states. "They're the truth."

 **Lynn frowns, considering this. But she looks more cheerful—as cheerful as Lynn gets, anyway—as Tori begins speaking again.**

"How cheerful am I supposed to be? My best friend is dead, my sister is in a wheelchair."

" **The rest of us will divide into groups of mixed factionless and Dauntless," says Tori. "A single, large group will attempt to penetrate Erudite headquarters and work its way up through the building, cleansing it of Erudite's influence. Several other, smaller groups will proceed immediately to the higher levels of the building to dispense with certain key Erudite officials. You will receive your group assignments later this evening."**

"What Tori is really saying is that she is going to be the one to kill Jeanine," Zeke says.

"Damn right I am!" Tori shouts.

" **The attack will occur in three days' time," says Evelyn. "Prepare yourselves. This will be dangerous and difficult. But the factionless are familiar with difficulty—"**

"Three cheers for the factionless pity party," Eric says, sarcasm dripping from every word.

 **At this the factionless cheer, and I am reminded that we, the Dauntless, are the same people who, just a few weeks ago, were criticizing Abnegation for giving the factionless food and other necessary items. How was that so easy to forget?**

" **And the Dauntless are familiar with danger—"**

"YEAH!" Shouts most of the room, fists punching the air.

 **Everyone around me punches the air with their fists and screams. I feel their voices inside my head, and the burn of triumph in my chest that makes me want to join them.**

 **Evelyn's expression is too empty for someone giving an impassioned speech. Her face looks like a mask.**

" **Down with Erudite!" Tori yells, and everyone repeats her, all voices joining together, regardless of faction. We share a common enemy, but does that make us friends?**

 **I notice that Tobias does not join in the chant, and neither does Christina.**

" **This doesn't feel right," she says.**

"First sensible thing you've said in two novels," Eric smirks.

"Piss off," Christina tells him as she gives him a middle finger salute.

Eric just laughs.

" **What do you mean?" Lynn says as the voices rise around us. "Don't you remember what they did to us? Put our minds under a simulation and forced us to shoot people without even knowing it? Murdered every single Abnegation leader?"**

" **Yeah," says Christina. "It's just ... Invading a faction's headquarters and killing everyone, isn't that what the Erudite just did to Abnegation?"**

" **This is different. This is not an attack out of nowhere, unprovoked," says Lynn, scowling at her.**

" **Yeah," Christina says. "Yeah, I know."**

 **She looks at me. I don't say anything. She has a point—it doesn't feel right.**

 **I walk toward the Eaton house in search of silence.**

 **I open the front door and climb the stairs. When I reach Tobias's old room, I sit on the bed and look out the window, where factionless and Dauntless are gathered around the fires, laughing and talking. But they aren't mixed together; there is still an uneasy divide between them, factionless on one side and Dauntless on the other.**

"They are up to something," Uriah says.

I don't want to believe him but he seems to have this inner ability to judge people and situations.

 **I watch Lynn, Uriah, and Christina by one of the fires. Uriah snatches at the flames, too quickly to be burned. His smile looks more like a grimace, twisted as it is by grief.**

 **After a few minutes I hear footsteps on the stairs, and Tobias comes into the room, slipping off his shoes by the doorway.**

" **What's wrong?" he says.**

" **Nothing, really," I say. "I was just thinking, I'm surprised the factionless agreed to work with Dauntless so easily. It's not like the Dauntless were ever kind to them."**

 **He stands beside me at the window and leans into the frame.**

" **It's not a natural alliance, is it," he says. "But we have the same goal."**

" **Right now. But what happens when the goals change? The factionless want to get rid of factions, and the Dauntless don't."**

"I can't see Evelyn giving up control once she has overthrown Erudite," Uriah comments.

"How is she going to get past the Dauntless?" I ask.

Uriah just shrugs.

 **Tobias presses his mouth into a line. I suddenly remember Marcus and Johanna, walking together through the orchard —Marcus wore the same expression when he was keeping something from her.**

 **Did Tobias get that expression from his father? Or does it mean something different?**

"Genetics, just like they have the same eye colour," Will says.

"Thank you Mr Erudite," Tris says sarcastically.

"What? It's true," Will says with a laugh and Tris just shakes her head.

" **You're in my group," he says. "During the attack. I hope you don't mind. We're supposed to lead the way to the control rooms."**

"Trying to keep her safe?" Eric asks me.

"Wouldn't you?"

Eric just nods.

 **The attack. If I participate in the attack, I can't go after the information Jeanine stole from Abnegation. I have to choose one or the other.**

 **Tobias said that dealing with Erudite was more important than finding out the truth. And if he had not promised the factionless control over all of Erudite's data, he might have been right. But he left me no choice. I have to help Marcus, if there is even a chance that he is telling the truth. I have to work against the people I love best.**

"Wait for it," Zeke says.

We all look at him a little confused.

"What are you on about?" Lynn asks.

"I'm just waiting for Four to throw an absolute fit," Zeke answers.

"I think we can all see that what Tris is about to do is the right thing," I say.

"Are you sure?" Zeke asks.

"What choice does she have? It's not like I've listened to her. I wish she wasn't about to lie to me and go behind my back. But sitting here I can see why she is doing it," I explain.

"Fair enough," Zeke replies.

 **And right now, I have to lie.**

 **I twist my fingers together.**

" **What is it?" he says.**

" **I still can't fire a gun." I look up at him. "And after what happened in Erudite headquarters ..." I clear my throat. "Risking my life doesn't seem so appealing anymore."**

" **Tris." He brushes my cheek with his fingertips. "You don't have to go."**

" **I don't want to seem like a coward."**

" **Hey." His fingers fit beneath my jaw. They are cool against my skin. He looks sternly at me. "You have done more for this faction than any other person. You ..."**

 **He sighs, and touches his forehead to mine.**

" **You're the bravest person I've ever met. Stay here. Let yourself mend."**

I grab Tris' hand in mine. Trying to reassure her that I understand why she is doing this. I know I don't like it but what choice have I given her. I hate myself for getting in so deep with Evelyn.

 **He kisses me, and I feel like I am crumbling again, beginning with the deepest parts of me. He thinks I will be here, but I will be working against him, working with the father he despises. This lie—this lie is the worst I have ever told. I will never be able to take it back.**

 **When we part, I am afraid he will hear my breaths shake, so I turn toward the window.**

"I think that's the bravest thing you have done so far," Shauna says. "It would have been the hardest decision to make."

"That's the end of the chapter," Will says.


	40. Chapter 40

CHAPTER FORTY

FOUR'S POV

 **CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE**

" **Oh yeah. You totally look like a banjo-strumming softie," says Christina.**

" **Really?"**

" **No. Not at all, actually. Just ... let me fix it, okay?"**

"Is that a time skip?" Marlene asks.

"I think so," I say.

"You got Christina to go with you?" Lynn asks. "Why didn't you ask me or Uriah?"

Eric bursts into laughter, along with Zeke and Shauna.

"Don't bring me into this," Uriah says, holding his hands out in front of himself.

"It's not that funny," Lynn demands, stomping her foot.

"Yes. It. Is." Shauna gets out between laughs, she now has tears streaming down her face.

"Could you imagine Lynn and Tris both in Amity?" Zeke says while still laughing.

"They would be lining up at the gate with peace serum if they knew they were both coming," Eric says.

"Whatever," Lynn snaps.

"Like you are welcome there," Tris mumbles.

 **She rummages in her bag for a few seconds and pulls out a small box. In it are different-sized tubes and containers that I recognize as makeup, but wouldn't know what to do with.**

 **We are in my parents' house. It was the only place I could think of to go to get ready. Christina has no reservations about poking around—she already discovered two textbooks wedged between the dresser and the wall, evidence of Caleb's Erudite leanings.**

" **Let me get this straight. So you left the Dauntless compound to get ready for war ... and took your makeup bag with you?"**

" **Yep. Figured it would be harder for anyone to shoot me if they saw how devastatingly attractive I was," she says, arching an eyebrow. "Hold still."**

"Please tell me you were joking?" Eric asks.

"I would think so, Eric," Christina says with an eye roll. "But don't quote me, it's not like I've done this yet.

 **She takes the cap off a black tube about the size of one of my fingers, revealing a red stick. Lipstick, obviously. She touches it to my mouth and dabs it until my lips are covered in color. I can see it when I purse them.**

"At least you've learnt something from me," Christina tells Tris.

Tris just rolls her eyes.

" **Has anyone ever talked to you about the miracle of eyebrow tweezing?" she says, holding up a pair of tweezers.**

" **Get those away from me."**

" **Fine." She sighs. "I would take out the blush, but I'm pretty sure it's not the right color for you."**

" **Shocking, considering we're so similar in skin tone."**

"Make-up really brings the sarcasm out in you Tris," Tori says with a laugh.

"Can you blame me?" Tris asks. "She is completely crazy when it comes to the stuff."

" **Ha-ha," she says.**

 **By the time we leave, I have red lips and curled eyelashes, and I'm wearing a bright red dress. And there's a knife strapped to the inside of my knee. This all makes perfect sense.**

"It makes just as much sense as anything else we have read about," Max grumbles.

" **Where's Marcus, Destroyer of Lives, going to meet us?" Christina says. She wears Amity yellow instead of red, and it glows against her skin.**

"Where did you find the outfits?" Uriah asks.

"Think about it Uriah," Tris says. When Uriah just looks at her confused she continues to speak. "We are surrounded by factionless, in Abnegation. Abnegation are the ones who distribute the clothes to the factionless. I'm sure it wasn't too hard to find something to wear."

"Oh yeah," Uriah says as Marlene smacks him in the back of the head. "Ouch."

 **I laugh. "Behind Abnegation headquarters."**

 **We walk down the sidewalk in the dark. All the others should be eating dinner now—I made sure of that—but in case we run into someone, we wear black jackets to conceal most of our Amity clothing. I hop over a crack in the cement out of habit.**

"Like the jackets are going to hide those bright Amity clothes," I say.

"Could you imagine if Tris was on patrol. she would be spending so much time hopping over cracks in the sidewalk that she wouldn't know what was going on around her," Shauna laughs.

"No I wouldn't," Tris says defensively.

"Why do you do it?" Lynn asks.

"I don't know. It was just a game I made up," Tris sighs.

"God, life must have been boring in Abnegation," Lynn complains.

" **Where are you two going?" Peter's voice says. I look over my shoulder. He's standing on the sidewalk behind us. I wonder how long he's been there.**

"Does anyone else feel like he stalks Tris?" Uriah asks.

"Now that you mention it," Lynn says. "It seems like it."

"Don't say shit like that," I whine. The thought of Peter anywhere near Tris makes my skin crawl. I don't care that he saved her life, he is nothing but a pest.

"Got some competition there Four," Zeke chuckles.

"I don't stalk her," I retort.

" **Why aren't you with your attack group, eating dinner?" I say.**

" **I don't have one." He taps the arm I shot. "I'm injured."**

"He is such a snake," Max states.

" **Yeah right, you are!" says Christina.**

" **Well, I don't want to go to battle with a bunch of factionless," he says, his green eyes glinting. "So I'm going to stay here."**

"Probably the most honest thing he has said in his whole life," Eric says.

" **Like a coward," says Christina, her lip curled in disgust. "Let everyone else clean up the mess for you."**

" **Yep!" he says with a kind of malicious cheer. He claps his hands. "Have fun dying."**

"He knows how to pick his battles," I say.

"Do you think we could just shoot him when we get back?" Lynn asks. "It's not like anyone would miss him."

"But then Molly or Drew would make it into Dauntless," I say.

"You know, they really should give Dauntless initiates a psychological evaluation before they are allowed to become members," Tori states.

"Half the faction would be factionless," Max tells us.

"So, it's okay to let these crazies loose with weapons?" Tori queries.

 **He crosses the street, whistling, and walks in the other direction.**

" **Well, we distracted him," she says. "He didn't ask where we were going again."**

" **Yeah. Good." I clear my throat. "So, this plan. It's kind of stupid, right?"**

" **It's not ...** _ **stupid**_ **."**

" **Oh, come on. Trusting Marcus is stupid. Trying to get past the Dauntless at the fence is stupid. Going against the Dauntless and factionless is stupid. All three combined is ... a different kind of stupid formerly unheard of by humankind."**

" **Unfortunately it's also the best plan we have," she points out. "If we want everyone to know the truth."**

"I like this," Zeke says. "I'm excited to see how it turns out." Zeke starts rubbing his hands together.

"Are you hoping we fail?" Tris asks.

"You won't fail," Zeke says. "It's the aftermath of it all that I'm excited to see."

"You really are sick," I say.

"Oh, come on, Four," Zeke says with excitement in his eyes. "You can't tell me that it isn't going to be interesting to see how not only you, but how Evelyn reacts. I reckon she might just blow a blood vessel when she finds out her sons' girlfriend has gone against not only her son but God forbid has gone against her with her estranged husband. It should be exciting to see."

"You really are sick," Shauna says.

 **I trusted Christina to take up this mission when I thought I would die, so it seemed stupid not to trust her now. I was worried she wouldn't want to come with me, but I forgot where Christina came from: Candor, where the pursuit of truth is more important than anything else. She may be Dauntless now, but if there's one thing I've learned through all this, it's that we never leave our old factions behind.**

"Wouldn't you say that, that would mean that every transfer is a little Divergent?" Tori asks.

"I suppose that is true," Eric says. "I never thought about it like that."

"So, why doesn't it show up in the aptitude test?" Lynn asks.

"I don't know," Tori answers.

"I think, just because you have certain traits that you got from your old faction it doesn't mean that you belong there," I say.

"That makes sense," Tori says.

" **So this is where you grew up. Did you like it here?" She frowns. "I guess you couldn't have, if you wanted to leave."**

"Did you not like Candor?" Lynn asks Christina.

"Sometimes," Christina replies.

"I don't think the answer is that easy," Tori states.

 **The sun inches toward the horizon as we walk. I never used to like evening light because it made everything in the Abnegation sector look more monochromatic than it already is, but now I find the unchanging gray comforting.**

" **I liked some things and hated some things," I say. "And there were some things I didn't know I had until I lost them."**

 **We reach Abnegation headquarters, and its face is just a cement square like everything else in the Abnegation sector. I would love to walk into the meeting room and breathe the smell of old wood, but we don't have time. We slip into the alley next to the building and walk to the back, where Marcus told me he would be waiting.**

 **A powder-blue pickup truck waits there, its engine running. Marcus is behind the wheel. I let Christina walk ahead of me so that she can be the one to slide into the middle. I don't want to sit close to him if I can help it. I feel like hating him while I work with him lessens my betrayal of Tobias somehow.**

"Yeah, that makes perfect sense," Eric laughs.

 _ **You have no other choice,**_ **I tell myself.** _ **There is no other way.**_

 **With that in mind, I pull the door shut and look for a seat belt to buckle. I find only the frayed end of a seat belt and a broken buckle.**

" **Where did you find this piece of junk?" says Christina.**

" **I stole it from the factionless. They fix them up. It wasn't easy to get it to start. Better ditch those jackets, girls."**

"I can't imagine Marcus stealing anything," Tris says.

"Only someone's childhood," I mumble softly to myself.

 **I ball up our jackets and toss them out the half-open window. Marcus shifts the truck into drive, and it groans. I half expect it to stay still when he presses the gas pedal, but it moves.**

 **From what I remember, it takes about an hour to drive from the Abnegation sector to Amity headquarters, and the trip requires a skilled driver. Marcus pulls onto one of the main thoroughfares and pushes his foot into the gas pedal. We lurch forward, narrowly avoiding a gaping hole in the road. I grab the dashboard to steady myself.**

" **Relax, Beatrice," says Marcus. "I've driven a car before."**

" **I've done a lot of things before, but that doesn't mean I'm any good at them!"**

The room bursts into laughter. "I never knew you could be so funny," Zeke laughs out.

 **Marcus smiles and jerks the truck to the left so that we don't hit a fallen stoplight. Christina whoops as we bump over another piece of debris, like she's having the time of her life.**

"I've never been in a car before," Christina says. "Is it always like that?"

"Only in the unused parts of town," Max says.

"It sounds like it's almost as much fun as jumping on a train," Christina says.

"No way," Zeke calls out.

"I doubt it," Uriah mutters.

" **A different kind of stupid, right?" she says, her voice loud enough to be heard over the rush of wind through the cab.**

 **I clutch the seat beneath me and try not to think of what I ate for dinner.**

"Bet you wish you were sitting next to Marcus now," Uriah says. "Then you could throw your dinner up all over him."

Will is laughing at this as he tells us that there is a page break.

 **When we reach the fence, we see the Dauntless standing in our headlight beams, blocking the gate. Their blue armbands stand out against the rest of their clothing. I try to keep my expression pleasant. I will not be able to fool them into thinking I'm Amity with a scowl on my face.**

 **A dark-skinned man with a gun in hand approaches Marcus's window. He shines a flashlight at Marcus first, then Christina, then me. I squint into the beam, and force a smile at the man like I don't mind bright lights in the eyes and guns pointed at my head in the slightest.**

 **The Amity must be deranged if this is how they really think. Or they've been eating too much of that bread.**

Zeke bursts out laughing. "Deranged, that's really funny Tris."

Everyone just looks at Zeke, a bit like he might be deranged.

"What?" Zeke asks. "It is funny."

"If you think so," Shauna dryly says.

" **So tell me," the man says. "What's an Abnegation member doing in a truck with two Amity?"**

"He's paying them for sex," Eric sarcastically says with an eye roll. "Who cares?"

"Where did that come from?" I ask.

"I don't know. I'm bored. We are about to read about Amity again, I need to make shit up."

"Please stop," Lynn begs.

" **These two girls volunteered to bring provisions to the city," Marcus says, "and I volunteered to escort them so that they would be safe."**

" **Also, we don't know how to drive," says Christina, grinning. "My dad tried to teach me years ago but I kept confusing the gas pedal for the brake pedal, and you can imagine what a disaster that was! Anyway, it was really nice of Joshua to volunteer to take us, because it would have taken us forever otherwise, and the boxes were so heavy—"**

 **The Dauntless man holds up his hand. "Okay, I get it."**

" **Oh, of course. Sorry." Christina giggles. "I just thought I would explain, because you seemed so confused, and no wonder, because how many times do you encounter this—"**

" **Right," the man says. "And do you intend to return to the city?"**

" **Not anytime soon," Marcus says.**

" **All right. Go ahead, then." He nods to the other Dauntless by the gate. One of them types a series of numbers on the keypad, and the gate slides open to admit us. Marcus nods to the guard who let us through and drives over the worn path to Amity headquarters. The truck's headlights catch tire tracks and prairie grass and insects weaving back and forth. In the darkness to my right I see fireflies lighting up to a rhythm that is like a heartbeat.**

 **After a few seconds, Marcus glances at Christina. "What on earth was that?"**

" **There's nothing the Dauntless hate more than cheerful Amity babble," says Christina, lifting a shoulder. "I figured if he got annoyed it would distract him and he would let us through."**

"Maybe Christina could stay in Amity, she seems to have their babble down," Eric says.

"Maybe it would be better if you were in Amity," Christina says. "Oh wait, you can't. You're dead." Christina then sticks her tongue out at Eric.

"Okay, okay," Max says. "Enough with the words, let's just get through this."

I think we are all starting to get sick of reading these books. Maybe a day without the books would be good. But then I think being stuck in this place isn't helping either. It feels like we have been here for months, not just weeks.

 **I smile with all my teeth. "You are a** _ **genius**_ **."**

" **I know." She tosses her head like she's throwing her hair over one shoulder, only she doesn't have enough to throw.**

" **Except," says Marcus, "Joshua is not an Abnegation name."**

"That is such a stupid thing to say," Tori says. "Not everyone changes their name when they transfer to a new faction."

" **Whatever. As if anyone knows the difference."**

 **I see the glow of Amity headquarters ahead, the familiar cluster of wooden buildings with the greenhouse in their center. We drive through the apple orchard. The air smells like warm earth.**

"Warm earth?" Marlene asks. "Don't you just mean dirt?"

"Warm earth sounds so much more pleasant than just plain old dirt," Tris says scrunching her face a little.

"A bit like the fireflies lighting up to a rhythm that is like a heartbeat?" Lynn says and then bursts out laughing.

"I didn't write this," Tris defends.

"No but it's supposed to be your thoughts," Eric states.

"Maybe I was just getting into the Amity mood," Tris says but then starts coughing as she almost chokes on the words.

"Are you sure you didn't have some of that Amity bread before you got there?" Lynn asks.

"Probably need it," I say.

 **Again I remember my mother stretching to pick an apple in this orchard, years ago when we came to help the Amity with the harvest. A pang hurts my chest, but the memory doesn't overwhelm me as it did a few weeks ago. Maybe it's because I am on a mission to honor her. Or maybe I am too apprehensive about what's coming to grieve properly. But something has changed.**

"Or maybe you are moving through the grieving process," Eric states.

 **Marcus parks the truck behind one of the sleeping cabins. For the first time I notice that there are no keys in the ignition.**

" **How did you get it to start?" I ask him.**

" **My father taught me a lot about mechanics and computers," he says. "Knowledge that I passed to my own son. You didn't think he figured it all out on his own, did you?"**

" **Actually yes, I did." I push the door open and climb out of the truck. Grass brushes my toes and the back of my calves.**

"What a pansycake," Uriah says. "He just had to add that in about Four. Like teaching someone a few things makes up for the other shit he did."

 **Christina stands at my right shoulder and tilts her head back.**

" **It's so different out here," she says. "You could almost forget what's going on in there." She points her thumb toward the city.**

" **And they often do," I say.**

"Must be nice to hide out there," I say.

"Would you rather hide there or be where the action is?" Eric asks.

I just send him a death stare.

"No need to be like that," Eric chuckles. "There aren't that many people who would want to be there."

"Only about twenty percent of the population," Lynn says. "Oh wait, it would be more now. Seeings that most of Abnegation are dead, I'd probably say it's more like twenty five percent."

"Lynn you are sounding like an Erudite," Shauna sounds shocked.

"Looks like she has been spending too much time around Eric," Tori says with a smirk.

"I'm not Erudite!" Eric says raising his voice.

"No, just dead," Christina says with a giggle.

"Enough!" Max barks. "Just read Will."

" **They know what's beyond the city, though, right?" she asks.**

" **They know about as much as the Dauntless patrols," says Marcus. "Which is that the outside world is unknown and potentially dangerous."**

" **How do you know what they know?" I say.**

" **Because that's what we told them," he says, and he walks toward the greenhouse.**

 **I exchange a look with Christina. Then we jog to catch up to him.**

" **What does that mean?"**

" **When you are entrusted with all the information, you have to decide how much other people should know," says Marcus. "The Abnegation leaders told them what we had to tell them. Now, let's hope Johanna is keeping up her normal habits. She is usually in the greenhouse this early in the evening."**

"Who decides that? Is it the whole council or just a small few? Has it always been that way or is this something new? And why was it important for Marcus to give this information to everyone now? Why didn't they tell everyone earlier?" The questions seem to be bursting from Tori.

"Do you really expect us to be able to answer any of those question?" Eric asks. Tori just shrugs at him.

 **He opens the greenhouse door. The air is just as dense as the last time I was in here, but now it is misty, too. The moisture cools my cheeks.**

" **Wow," Christina says.**

 **The room is lit by moonlight, so it is hard to distinguish plant from tree from man-made structure. Leaves brush my face as I make my way around the outer edge of the room. And then I see Johanna, crouched beside a bush with a bowl in her hands, picking what appear to be raspberries. Her hair is pulled back, so I can see her scar.**

" **I didn't think I would see you here again, Ms. Prior," she says.**

" **Is that because I'm supposed to be dead?" I say.**

Laughter rings around the room.

" **I always expect those who live by the gun to die by it. I am often pleasantly surprised." She balances the bowl on her knees and looks up at me. "Although I also know better than to think you came back because you like it here."**

"You never know," Marlene says. "I think Amity could be a nice place to live, especially after what has happened."

"Marlene, you may be the happiest person I have ever known, well other than maybe Uriah. But you are Dauntless, through and through. I couldn't imagine you wanting to trade that in for drugged bread and dirt," Shauna says.

"Maybe," Marlene gives a small shrug.

" **No," I say. "We came for something else."**

" **All right," she says, standing. "Let's go talk about it, then."**

 **She carries the bowl toward the middle of the room, where the Amity meetings are held. We follow her onto the tree roots, where she sits and offers me the bowl of raspberries. I take a small handful of berries and pass the bowl to Christina.**

" **Johanna, this is Christina," Marcus says. "Candor-born Dauntless."**

"I don't know why we make such a big deal out of where someone transferred from and where they are now," I say.

"It's a trust issue," Eric says. "Johanna is from Candor, so is Christina. It's a way to break the ice, break down any walls."

"It's just a load of crap," Lynn mumbles.

" **Welcome to Amity headquarters, Christina." Johanna smiles knowingly. It seems so strange, that two people born in Candor could end up in such different places: Dauntless, and Amity.**

" **Tell me, Marcus," says Johanna. "Why have you come to visit?"**

" **I think Beatrice should handle that," he says. "I am merely the transportation."**

"Why isn't he saying anything?" Tori asks. "He loves the sound of his own voice."

 **She shifts her focus to me without question, but I can tell by the wary look in her eyes that she would rather talk to Marcus. She would deny it if I asked her, but I am almost certain Johanna Reyes hates me.**

"Can Amity members hate?" Lynn asks.

"I think they would just deny it but I'm sure they can," I say.

"Imagine how much peace serum you would be given if you did tell someone you hated them," Lynn says with a shudder.

" **Um ..." I say. Not my most brilliant opening. I wipe my palms on my skirt. "Things have gotten bad."**

 **The words start to spill out, without finesse or sophistication. I explain that the Dauntless have allied with the factionless, and they plan to destroy all of Erudite, leaving us without one of the two essential factions. I tell her that there is important information in the Erudite compound, in addition to all the knowledge they possess, that especially needs to be recovered. When I finish, I realize I haven't told her why that has anything to do with her or her faction, but I don't know how to say it.**

" **I'm confused, Beatrice," she says. "What exactly do you want us to do?"**

" **I didn't come here to ask you for help," I say. "I thought you should know that a lot of people are going to die, very soon. And I know you don't want to stay here doing nothing while that happens, even if some of your faction does."**

 **She looks down, her crooked mouth betraying just how right I am.**

" **I also wanted to ask you if we can talk to the Erudite you're keeping safe here," I say. "I know they're hidden, but I need access to them."**

" **And what do you intend to do?" she says.**

" **Shoot them," I say, rolling my eyes.**

The room bursts into laugher. Zeke has rolled off his seat and landed on the floor, still in a fit of laughter.

"Oh man, Tris is on the way to getting jabbed with some more peace serum," Zeke laughs.

Lynn jumps up from her seat and comes over and high fives Tris. "That was awesome Tris," Lynn says and runs back over to her seat.

"Do you just like to torment the Amity, Tris?" Eric asks laughing. "Because I could imagine that Johanna isn't very happy with you right about now."

"Not happy? Johanna will be barring Tris from ever entering Amity grounds again. She will have posters up, telling people not to let Tris in," Max says with a chuckle. "If we all live through this. I would really like to have Tris become ambassador for Amity. It would really keep them on their toes."

"Are you insane?" Eric asks Max.

"No. I don't know of many Dauntless who can stand being in Amity but Tris has a way about her with them."

"I'm not half as bad with the Amity as Tris is and Johanna has barred me," Eric says. "How long do you think it would be until Tris was barred as well?"

"You could take Lynn with you Tris," Shauna says. "I reckon you could both be kicked out of Amity within an hour."

"Next game of dare," Zeke says laughing. "I am going to dare Tris to take Lynn and Eric to Amity with her for the day."

"Remind me never to play dare with you Zeke," Tris replies.

" **That isn't funny."**

"Yes, it is," Uriah whines. "For the happy faction, they really don't have a sense of humour."

 **I sigh. "Sorry. I need information. That's all."**

" **Well, you'll have to wait until tomorrow," Johanna says. "You can sleep here."**

"Ain't payback a bitch," Eric says. "Now you are stuck there overnight."

"Page break."

 **I sleep as soon as my head touches the pillow, but wake earlier than I planned. I can tell by the glow near the horizon that the sun is about to rise.**

 **Across the narrow aisle between two beds is Christina, her face pressed to the mattress with her pillow over her head. A dresser with a lamp on top of it stands between us. The wooden floorboards creak no matter where you step on them. And on the left wall is a mirror, casually placed. Everyone but the Abnegation takes mirrors for granted. I still feel a prickle of shock whenever I see one in the open.**

 **I get dressed, not bothering to be quiet—five hundred stomping Dauntless can't wake Christina when she's deeply asleep, though an Erudite whisper might be able to. She is odd that way.**

"How is that odd?" Christina asks. Tris just gives her a shrug, a bit like she doesn't have a clue but it is written as her thoughts.

 **I walk outside as the sun peeks through the tree branches, and see a small group of Amity gathered near the orchard. I move closer to see what they are doing.**

 **They stand in a circle, hands clasped. Half of them are in their early teens, and the other half are adults. The oldest one, a woman with braided gray hair, speaks.**

" **We believe in a God who gives peace and cherishes it," she says. "So we give peace to each other, and cherish it."**

"They don't give peace, they force it down each other's throats," Eric calls out.

"At least they cherish it," Lynn says with a loud rambunctious laugh.

 **I would not hear that as a cue, but the Amity seem to. They all begin to move at once, finding someone across the circle and clasping hands with them. When everyone is paired off, they stand for several seconds, looking at each other. Some of them mutter a phrase, some smile, some remain silent and still. Then they break apart and move to someone else, performing the same series of actions again.**

 **I have never seen an Amity religious ceremony before. I am only familiar with the religion of my parents' faction, which part of me still holds to and the other rejects as foolishness—the prayers before dinner, the weekly meetings, the acts of service, the poems about a selfless God. This is something different, something mysterious.**

" **Come and join us," the gray-haired woman says. It takes me a few seconds to realize she's talking to me. She beckons to me, smiling.**

" **Oh no," I say. "I'm just—"**

" **Come," she says again, and I feel like I have no choice but to walk forward and stand among them.**

"Peace serum here I come," Zeke laughs.

"Why would I need peace serum for that?" Tris asks.

"Please, I bet you are about five paces from decking that lady and her friends," Zeke replies.

"You make me sound like I'm angry all the time," Tris sounds shocked.

"Only when you around Amity and Abnegation. Oh wait, yeah, you weren't two happy in Candor and well, do we even have to mention Erudite," Zeke explains.

"So, that means that I really am Dauntless, Divergence be damned," Tris says with a smile.

"Conspiracy," Lynn says in this weird sing song voice. _Creepy._

 **She approaches me first, clasping my hand. Her fingers are dry and rough and her eyes seek mine, persistent, though I feel strange meeting her gaze.**

 **Once I do, the effect is immediate and peculiar. I stand still, and every part of me is still, like it weighs more than it used to, only the weight is not unpleasant. Her eyes are brown, the same shade throughout, and unmoving.**

" **May the peace of God be with you," she says, her voice low, "even in the midst of trouble."**

" **Why would it?" I say softly, so no one else can hear. "After all I've done ..."**

" **It isn't about you," she says. "It is a gift. You cannot earn it, or it ceases to be a gift."**

"That sounds more Abnegation," Tori says.

"Maybe that's where she transferred from," I say.

 **She releases me and moves to someone else, but I stand with my hand outstretched, alone. Someone moves to take my hand, but I withdraw from the group, first at a walk, and then at a run.**

"RUN, TRIS RUN!" Uriah and Zeke shout out together, laughing.

 **I sprint into the trees as fast as I can, and only when my lungs feel like they are on fire do I stop.**

 **I press my forehead to the nearest tree trunk, though it scrapes my skin, and fight off tears.**

"Page break."

 **Later that morning I walk through light rain to the main greenhouse. Johanna has called an emergency meeting.**

"This should take hours," Uriah grumbles.

"What are you so grouchy about? It's not like you are there," Lynn says.

"May as well be," Uriah mutters. "We are all going to hear about it."

 **I stay as hidden as possible at the edge of the room, between two large plants that are suspended in mineral solution. It takes me a few minutes to find Christina, dressed in Amity yellow on the right side of the room, but it is easy to spot Marcus, who**

 **stands on the roots of the giant tree with Johanna.**

"Does he think he is going to be able to manipulate the Amity by standing there? It's not like he has a faction to run, or the government anymore," Tori says.

"He just likes people to think he is important," I say.

"As much as I don't want to say this right now," Eric says. "But he was important, he was in charge of the factions. He had a lot of influence over others."

 **Johanna has her hands clasped in front of her and her hair pulled back. The injury that gave her the scar also damaged her eye—her pupil is so dilated it overwhelms her iris, and her left eye doesn't move with the right one as she scans the Amity in front of her.**

 **But there are not just Amity. There are people with close-cropped hair and tightly twisted buns who must belong to Abnegation, and a few rows of people in glasses who must be Erudite. Cara is among them.**

" **I have received a message from the city," says Johanna when everyone quiets down. "And I would like to communicate it to you."**

 **She tugs at the hem of her shirt, then clasps her hands in front of her. She seems nervous.**

" **The Dauntless have allied with the factionless," she says. "They intend to attack Erudite in two days' time. Their battle will be waged not against the Erudite-Dauntless army but against Erudite innocents and the knowledge they have worked so hard to acquire."**

"She doesn't know that," Eric scoffs. "She is totally manipulating them."

 **She looks down, breathes deeply, and continues: "I know that we recognize no leader, so I have no right to address you as if that is what I am," she says. "But I am hoping that you will forgive me, just this once, for asking if we can reconsider our previous decision to remain uninvolved."**

"Does she say the same thing every time she calls a meeting?" Shauna asks. "You can't have no leader, which is obvious because Johanna is their leader. They might not admit it but she is running that faction."

 **There are murmurs. They are nothing like Dauntless murmurs—they are gentler, like birds launching from branches.**

" **Our relationship with Erudite notwithstanding, we know better than any faction how essential their role in this society is," she says. "They must be protected from needless slaughter, if not because they are human beings, then because we cannot survive without them. I propose that we enter the city as nonviolent, impartial peacekeepers in order to curb in whatever way possible the extreme violence that will undoubtedly occur. Please discuss this."**

"Yeah, that sounds ridiculous," Lynn scoffs. "Go and stand in front of the people with the weapons. I'm sure they won't have a problem shooting the unarmed hippie."

 **Rain dusts the glass panels above our heads. Johanna sits on a tree root to wait, but the Amity do not burst into conversation as they did the last time I was here. Whispers, almost indistinguishable from the rain, turn to normal speech, and I hear some voices lift above others, almost yelling, but not quite.**

"Do you think that if they were yelling that they would be injected with peace serum?" I ask.

"Anything is possible with those . . . people," Max says.

 **Every lifted voice sends a jolt through me. I've sat through plenty of arguments in my life, mostly in the last two months, but none of them ever scared me like this. The Amity aren't supposed to argue.**

"There are a lot of things about our faction system right now, that needs fixing or looking into," Eric says.

 **I decide not to wait any longer. I walk along the edge of the meeting area, squeezing past the Amity who are on their feet and hopping over hands and outstretched legs. Some of them stare at me—I may be wearing a red shirt, but the tattoos along my collarbone are clear as ever, even from a distance.**

 **I pause near the row of Erudite. Cara stands when I get close, her arms folded.**

" **What are you doing here?" she says.**

"Bitch!" Lynn growls.

" **I came to tell Johanna what was going on," I say. "And to ask you for help."**

" **Me?" she says. "Why—"**

" **Not you," I say. I try to forget what she said about my nose, but it's hard. "All of you. I have a plan to save some of your faction's data, but I need your help."**

" **Actually," Christina says, appearing at my left shoulder, "we have a plan."**

"Good move Christina," Eric says.

Christina looks at Eric with shock.

"Cara is going to be more easily convinced with Christina there because she was dating her brother. Where you Tris, she will probably never trust, because of what you did to Will."

I feel Tris tense up next to me, so I wrap my arm around her shoulder. "You okay?" I whisper to her. She just nods her head and leans her head onto my shoulder.

 **Cara looks from me to Christina and back to me again.**

" _ **You**_ **want to help Erudite?" she says. "I'm confused."**

"Didn't take much to confuse her Erudite brain," Zeke chuckles.

" **You wanted to help Dauntless," I say. "You think you're the only one who doesn't just blindly do what your faction tells you to?"**

"She's Divergent," Eric almost shouts.

" **It is in keeping with your pattern of behavior," says Cara. "Shooting people who get in your way is a Dauntless trait, after all."**

 **I feel a pinch at the back of my throat. She looks so much like her brother, down to the crease between her eyebrows and the dark streaks in her otherwise blond hair.**

" **Cara," says Christina. "Will you help us, or not?"**

 **Cara sighs. "Obviously I will. I'm sure the others will, too. Meet us in the Erudite dormitory at the end of the meeting, and tell us the plan."**

"Page break."

 **The meeting lasts for another hour. By then the rain has stopped, though water still sprinkles the wall and ceiling panels. Christina and I have been sitting against one of the walls, playing a game in which each of us tries to pin down the other's thumb. She always wins.**

 **Finally Johanna and the others who emerged as discussion leaders stand in a line on the tree roots. Johanna's hair now hangs over her lowered face. She is supposed to tell us the outcome of the conversation, but she just stands with her arms folded, her fingers tapping against her elbow.**

" **What's going on?" Christina says.**

 **Finally Johanna looks up.**

" **Obviously it was difficult to find agreement," she says. "But the majority of you wish to uphold our policy of uninvolvement."**

"COWARDS!" Zeke shouts.

 **It does not matter to me whether the Amity decide to go into the city or not. But I had begun to hope they were not all cowards, and to me, this decision sounds very much like cowardice. I sink back against the window.**

Zeke runs over and high fives Tris. Obviously happy with her coward statement.

" **It is not my wish to encourage division in this community, which has given so much to me," says Johanna. "But my conscience forces me to go against this decision. Anyone else whose conscience drives them toward the city is welcome to come with me."**

"I didn't see that coming," Max says.

"About time," Uriah says.

"I can't believe they haven't got the peace serum out," Zeke chuckles.

"That still might happen," I say.

"Do you think so?" Zeke sounds hopeful.

 **At first I, like everyone else, am not sure what she's saying. Johanna tilts her head so that her scar is again visible, and adds, "I understand if this means I can't be a part of Amity anymore." She sniffs. "But please know that if I have to leave you, I leave you with love, rather than malice."**

 **Johanna bows in the general direction of the crowd, tucks her hair behind her ears, and walks toward the exit. A few of the Amity scramble to their feet, then a few more, and soon the entire crowd is on their feet, and some of them—not many, but some —are walking out behind her.**

" **That," says Christina, "is not what I was expecting."**

"This is crazy," Lynn says with a gleam in her eyes. "Can you imagine Johanna with a gun in her hand?"

"Just because she left, doesn't mean that she will start shooting people," Eric says. "Although I wouldn't mind seeing it."

"Well you just might," I say.

"That's the end of the chapter," Will says.

"Awesome, I'm starving," Uriah says clapping his hands together.

"You can get your own dinner tonight," Eric says. "I'm going to the training room." Eric gives a look to Lynn and then walks out.

"What is going on?" Tris whispers.

"I don't know," I answer.


	41. Chapter 41

CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

FOUR'S POV

I walk into the training room with two plates of lasagne. It seems Eric made enough at lunch for us to have for dinner.

"I brought you some dinner," I say as I walk across the room. I sit on the floor with my back to the wall. I put Eric's plate down next to me and start eating.

Eric looks up from his punching bag and sighs. He grabs the towel from the floor next to him and wipes himself down.

"What's going on?" I ask as he sits down and starts to eat his dinner.

"Nothing."

"Bullshit. There's something not right with you and Lynn."

"Like you and Tris have been all happy families lately."

"Never said we were."

We sit in silence eating for a few minutes, when Eric drops his fork and sighs.

"She wants to tell everyone about us."

"You don't want to because of what's going on or because of something else?"

"I'm trying to keep her safe. Shauna will skin one of us alive. Max will either think I'm a traitor or that Lynn has turned to his side."

I continue to eat. I feel like there is more he wants to say.

"I like having her all to myself. If everyone knows, we're not going to get as much alone time."

I laugh. I can't help it.

"What's so funny?" he asks.

"You're turning into a love-sick puppy. I just never thought I would see it."

"Yeah well it seems to be going around, doesn't it?"

"Maybe."

"That's not what I expected to hear from you. Sounds like you are having more problems than I am."

I shake my head. "Not problems, just. It's hard adjusting to caring for someone. Or, more importantly it's hard knowing that someone cares for me."

Now it's Eric's turn to laugh. "You are not wrong. This house is making us soft."

"Speak for yourself."

"Deny it all you want Four, but living like this. It's not what we are used too. I liked my own space, just like I know you did. We don't have any of that here. Then there are these women, always in our faces. Looking sexy as hell, tempting. I want to give her the world but there is so much serious shit about to go down. I don't know how to do my job and keep her safe," Eric says lowering his head, looking defeated.

"Then she tells me she doesn't need me to keep her safe. As if I didn't know that. But I can't help it, I don't know what it is. Every time we read a new chapter my first thought is, will Lynn survive. Then I think well if she doesn't, maybe we will get a chance to be together in whatever is after this world. Then I get pissy with myself because I don't want her to die. I deserve it, but she doesn't. I just can't seem to tell her that."

"Now you don't have to."

Eric and I both look up to see Lynn and Tris standing in the doorway.

"How long have you been standing there?" I ask.

"You don't want to know," Lynn says as she walks over to Eric.

This is my cue to leave. I get up and walk over to Tris and give her a hug and we walk out of the room, leaving Eric and Lynn to talk.

* * *

"Let's get this read," Zeke says, rubbing his hands together.

"Someone's a little excited to read," Shauna chuckles.

"It's starting to get interesting. Johanna is now factionless, or maybe part Dauntless. Cara and Tris are going to be teaming up, which defies the laws of logic. Four still has to find out that his girlfriend is working with his father. It's an exciting time to read, I think," Zeke explained.

 **CHAPTER FORTY**

 **The erudite dormitory is one of the larger sleeping rooms in Amity headquarters. There are twelve beds total: a row of eight crammed together along the far wall, and two pressed together on each side, leaving a huge space in the middle of the room. A large table occupies that space, covered with tools and scraps of metal and gears and old computer parts and wires.**

 **Christina and I just finished explaining our plan, which sounded a lot dumber with more than a dozen Erudite staring us down as we talked.**

" **Your plan is flawed," Cara says. She is the first to respond.**

"Of course it would be Cara," Tris mumbles.

" **That's why we came to you," I say. "So you could tell us how to fix it."**

" **Well, first of all, this important data you want to rescue," she says. "Putting it on a disc is a ridiculous idea. Discs just end up breaking or in the wrong person's hands, like all other physical objects. I suggest you make use of the data network."**

" **The ... what?"**

 **She glances at the other Erudite. One of the others—a brown-skinned young man in glasses—says, "Go on. Tell them. There's no reason to keep secrets anymore."**

"There are so many secrets in these factions, no wonder we are imploding," Tori states.

 **Cara looks back at me. "Many of the computers in the Erudite compound are set up to access data from the computers in other factions. That's how it was so easy for Jeanine to run the attack simulation from a Dauntless computer instead of an Erudite one."**

" **What?" says Christina. "You mean you can just take a stroll through every faction's data whenever you want?"**

"I can't believe they do that," Marlene sounds shocked.

"They had Dauntless kill Abnegation Mar," Lynn says. "How can anything surprise you?"

"This shouldn't be allowed," Tori calls out. "We are all told Faction Before Blood. But Erudite are in all the other faction's business. How did we let this happen?"

"I don't think anyone let this happen. Erudite seem to think that they can do whatever the fuck they want," Zeke says.

"They just don't think it," I say. "They are doing it."

"They need someone to govern what they do," Tris says.

"Did you know about this?" Zeke asks Max.

"No. We share our data with Erudite because they created the fear sims. I didn't know they were snooping in all the factions," Max replies.

"But you're not surprised by it," Zeke tells Max.

"No, I'm not surprised."

" **You can't 'take a stroll' through data," the young man says. "That's illogical."**

" **It's a metaphor," says Christina. She frowns. "Right?"**

" **A metaphor, or simply a figure of speech?" he says, also frowning. "Or is a metaphor a definite category beneath the heading of 'figure of speech'?"**

" **Fernando," says Cara. "Focus."**

 **He nods.**

"How do they get anything done over there? They ramble on and on, how in the world were they able to organise the attack on Abnegation," Lynn says, clearly sounding frustrated.

"They didn't," I say. "They had Eric doing all the work."

"What do you know Four?" Eric snipes.

"Are you telling me you weren't organising everything on the Dauntless end?"

"Just read Will," Zeke begs. "I don't want to have to listen to them." He points at Eric and I. "Rehash this conversation again. I want to see what is going to happen."

" **The fact is," Cara continues, "the data network exists, and that is ethically questionable, but I believe it can work to our advantage here. Just as the computers can access data from other factions, they can send data to other factions. If we sent the data you wished to rescue to every other faction, destroying it all would be impossible."**

" **When you say 'we,'" I say, "are you implying that—"**

" **That we would be going with you?" she says. "Obviously not all of us would go, but some of us must. How do you expect to navigate Erudite headquarters on your own?"**

"This must be the worst idea ever," Lynn moans. "Can you imagine how long it is going to take to get anything done with the way they carry on. Urgh."

" **You do realize that if you come with us, you might get shot," says Christina. She smiles. "And no hiding behind us because you don't want to break your glasses, or whatever."**

"Jeez Christina," Uriah says. "I thought you'd be trying to protect Will's sister. Looks more like you are excited about the thought of her getting shot."

 **Cara removes her glasses and snaps them in half at the bridge.**

" **We risked our lives by defecting from our faction," says Cara, "and we will risk them again to save our faction from itself."**

" **Also," pipes up a small voice behind Cara. A girl no older than ten or eleven peers around Cara's elbow. Her black hair is short, like mine, and a halo of frizz surrounds her head. "We have useful gadgets."**

 **Christina and I exchange a look.**

 **I say, "What kinds of gadgets?"**

" **They're just prototypes," Fernando says, "so there's no need to scrutinize them."**

" **Scrutiny's not really our thing," says Christina.**

" **Then how do you make things better?" the little girl asks.**

" **We don't, really," Christina says, sighing. "They kind of just keep getting worse."**

There is laughter around the room. It doesn't last long but it was nice for a change. Everyone seems tenser today.

 **The little girl nods. "Entropy."**

" **What?"**

" **Entropy," she chirps. "It's the theory that all matter in the universe is gradually moving toward the same temperature. Also known as 'heat death.'"**

" **Elia," Cara says, "that is a gross oversimplification."**

 **Elia sticks out her tongue at Cara. I can't help but laugh. I have never seen one of the Erudite stick out her tongue before. But then again, I haven't interacted with many young Erudite. Only Jeanine and the people who work for her. Including my brother.**

 **Fernando crouches next to one of the beds and takes out a box. He digs inside it for a few seconds, then picks up a small, round disc. It is made of a pale metal that I saw often in Erudite headquarters but have never seen anywhere else. He carries it toward me on his palm. When I reach for it, he jerks it away from me.**

" **Careful!" he says. "I brought this from headquarters. It's not something we invented here. Were you there when they attacked Candor?"**

" **Yes," I say. "** _ **Right**_ **there."**

" **Remember when the glass shattered?"**

" **Were you there?" I say, narrowing my eyes.**

" **No. They recorded it and showed the footage at Erudite headquarters," he says. "Well, it looked like the glass shattered because they shot at it, but that's not really true. One of the Dauntless soldiers tossed one of these near the windows. It emits a signal that you can't hear, but that will cause glass to shatter."**

" **Okay," I say. "And how will that be useful to us?"**

" **You may find that it's rather distracting for people when all their windows shatter at once," he says with a small smile. "Especially in Erudite headquarters, where there are a lot of windows."**

" **Right," I say.**

"Haven't they got something more interesting than that?" Lynn asks.

"If you quiet down we might find out," Eric says with a smirk.

Lynn just gives him her middle finger and Eric laughs.

Looks like they are getting along again.

" **What else have you got?" says Christina.**

" **The Amity will like this," Cara says. "Where is it? Ah. Here."**

 **She picks up a black box made of plastic, small enough for her to wrap her fingers around it. At the top of the box are two pieces of metal that look like teeth. She flips a switch at the bottom of the box, and a thread of blue light stretches across the gap between the teeth.**

" **Fernando," says Cara. "Want to demonstrate?"**

" **Are you joking?" he says, his eyes wide. "I'm never doing that again. You're dangerous with that thing."**

 **Cara grins at him, and explains, "If I touched you with this stunner right now, it would be extremely painful, and then it would disable you. Fernando found that out the hard way yesterday. I made it so that the Amity would have a way of defending themselves without shooting anyone."**

"That could be fun to play with," Uriah says.

"How?" Zeke asks.

"It would be more interesting than paintball because you would have to touch the person, not just shoot from a distance. Then there is the whole 'extremely painful' part, that would be great against people you don't like."

"Uriah the paintballs are painful," Shauna says.

"It would be harder to win, so the win would mean more," Uriah says.

"A win is a win, no matter what game you are playing," Eric says.

"How do you know Eric? When did you last win at capture the flag?" Zeke says jokingly.

" **That's ..." I frown. "Understanding of you."**

" **Well, technology is supposed to make life better," she says. "No matter what you believe, there's a technology out there for you."**

 **What did my mother say, in that simulation? "I worry that your father's blustering about Erudite has been to your detriment." What if she was right, even if she was just a part of a simulation? My father taught me to see Erudite a particular way. He never taught me that they made no judgments about what people believed, but designed things for them within the confines of those beliefs. He never told me that they could be funny, or that they could critique their own faction from the inside.**

"But that wasn't your mother talking Tris. That was someone from Erudite putting words in her mouth," Tori gently says.

You can see that there are tears in Tris' eyes and she give Tori a small nod.

 **Cara lunges toward Fernando with the stunner, laughing when he jumps back.**

 **He never told me that an Erudite could offer to help me even after I killed her brother.**

"It's war Tris," Eric says. "People have to do what they have to, to survive."

"Page break."

 **The attack will begin in the afternoon, before it is too dark to see the blue armbands that mark some of the Dauntless as traitors. As soon as our plans are finalized, we walk through the orchard to the clearing where the trucks are kept. When I emerge from the trees, I see that Johanna Reyes is perched on the hood of one of the trucks, the keys dangling from her fingers.**

 **Behind her waits a small convoy of vehicles packed with Amity—but not just Amity, because Abnegation, with their severe hairstyles and still mouths, are among them. Robert, Susan's older brother, is with them.**

"Why couldn't they have done this before?" Marlene complains. "There has been so much death and only now they want to help. The Amity are frustrating."

"Do you think they will start their own faction now?" Uriah asks.

"Abnegation has a lot of openings," Lynn says.

"How will they cope without the bread?" Tris asks.

"There are going to be a lot of angry ex-Amity running around the city," Zeke chuckles.

 **Johanna hops down from the hood. In the back of the truck she was just sitting on is a stack of crates marked APPLES and FLOUR and CORN. It's a good thing we only have to fit two people in the back.**

" **Hello, Johanna," says Marcus.**

" **Marcus," she says. "I hope you don't mind if we accompany you to the city."**

" **Of course not," he says. "Lead the way."**

 **Johanna gives Marcus the keys and climbs into the bed of one of the other trucks. Christina starts toward the truck cab, and I go for the truck bed, with Fernando behind me.**

" **You don't want to sit up front?" says Christina. "And you call yourself a Dauntless..."**

" **I went for the part of the truck in which I was least likely to vomit," I say.**

" **Puking is a part of life."**

"One that I would rather not do," Tris states.

"Me either," I whisper in her ear.

 **I am about to ask her exactly how often she intends to throw up in the future when the truck surges forward. I grab the side with both hands so that I don't fall out, but after a few minutes, when I get used to the bumping and jostling, I let go. The other trucks trundle along in front of us, behind Johanna's, which leads the way.**

 **I feel calm until we reach the fence. I expect to encounter the same guards who tried to stop us on the way in, but the gate is abandoned, left open. A tremor starts in my chest and spreads to my hands. In the midst of meeting new people and making plans, I forgot that my plan is to walk straight into a battle that could claim my life. Right after I realized that my life was worth living.**

"Where are the guards?" Uriah asks.

"Who cares about the guards," Zeke exclaims. "Tris is about to get her "X" shirt." Zeke starts rubbing his hands together.

"But I thought you didn't want her to die?" Shauna asks looking confused.

"I don't really but we need some action to happen," Zeke replies.

"You're an idiot," Shauna says smacking Zeke on the arm.

 **The convoy slows down as we pass through the fence, like they expect someone to jump out and stop us. Everything is silent apart from the cicadas in the distant trees and the truck engines.**

" **Do you think it's already started?" I say to Fernando.**

" **Perhaps. Perhaps not," he says. "Jeanine has many informants. Someone probably told her that something was going to happen, so she called all the Dauntless forces back to Erudite headquarters."**

 **I nod, but I am really thinking of Caleb. He was one of those informants. I wonder why he believed so strongly that the outside world should be hidden from us that he would betray everyone he supposedly cared about for Jeanine, who cares about no one.**

" **Did you ever meet someone named Caleb?" I say.**

" **Caleb," Fernando says. "Yes, there was a Caleb in my initiate class. Brilliant, but he was ... what's the colloquial term for it? A suck-up." He smirks. "There was a bit of a division between initiates. Those who embraced everything Jeanine said and those who didn't. Obviously I was a member of the latter group. Caleb was a member of the former. Why do you ask?"**

"A suck-up," Lynn scoffs. "He's more than just a suck-up."

" **I met him while I was imprisoned," I say, and my voice sounds far away even to me. "I was just curious."**

" **I wouldn't judge him too harshly," says Fernando. "Jeanine can be extraordinarily persuasive to those who aren't naturally suspicious. I have always been naturally suspicious."**

 **I stare over his left shoulder, at the skyline that gets clearer the closer we get to the city. I search for the two prongs at the top of the Hub, and when I find them, I feel better and worse at the same time—better, because the building is so familiar, and worse, because seeing the prongs means that we are getting closer.**

" **Yeah," I say. "So have I."**

"Shouldn't judge him too harshly, he has to be kidding. He sold his own family out," Uriah shouts.

"Faction before blood," Eric says.

"Bullshit," Uriah replies. "Are you telling me that you would do what he did to your family?"

"I don't think that is relevant," Eric states.

"You are just avoiding answering," Uriah says. "Which tells us what your answer would be."

"That's the end of the chapter," Will says. "Someone else can read."

He puts the book on the edge of his seat and Eric goes and picks it up.


	42. Chapter 42

HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope you have had or are having a great new year right now. It's afternoon here in Australia and I have spent the first day of the year at the beach. I hope everyone in the Northern Hemisphere is keeping warm right now. Thanks for the reviews everyone, I really appreciate your feedback. Enjoy the next chapter.

* * *

CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

FOUR'S POV

"This should be a long chapter," I say.

"Because Eric is reading it?" Zeke asks.

"He always complains that whenever he reads that the chapters are longer."

"Don't wish that on me Four."

 **CHAPTER FORTY-ONE**

 **By the time we reach the city, all conversation has halted in the truck, replaced by pressed lips and pale faces. Marcus steers around potholes the size of a person and parts from broken-down buses. The ride is smoother when we get out of factionless territory and into the clean parts of the city.**

 **Then I hear gunshots. From this distance they sound like popping.**

 **For a moment I am disoriented, and all I can see are the leaders of Abnegation on their knees on the pavement and the slack-faced Dauntless with guns in hand; all I can see is my mother turning to embrace the bullets, and Will dropping to the ground. I bite my fist to keep from crying out, and the pain brings me back to the present.**

 **My mother told me to be brave. But if she had known that her death would make me so afraid, would she have sacrificed herself so willingly?**

"You're not afraid," Uriah says to Tris. "You may not want to shoot a gun but look at what you are doing. Someone who is afraid wouldn't be doing what you are doing. They would have stayed in Amity."

"Thanks Uriah," Tris says with a small smile.

 **Breaking away from the convoy of trucks, Marcus turns on Madison Avenue and, when we are just two blocks away from Michigan Avenue, where the fighting is, he pulls the truck into an alley and turns off the engine.**

 **Fernando hops out of the truck bed and offers me his arm.**

" **Come on, Insurgent," he says with a wink.**

" **What?" I say. I take his arm and slide down the side of the truck.**

 **He opens the bag he was sitting with. It is full of blue clothes. He sorts through them, tossing garments to Christina and me. I get a bright blue T-shirt and a pair of blue jeans.**

" **Insurgent," he says. "Noun. A person who acts in opposition to the established authority, who is not necessarily regarded as a belligerent."**

"Just because she doesn't want to shoot a gun doesn't mean she isn't belligerent," Eric states.

"You're Erudite is showing," Marlene says.

"And?" Eric asks with a raised eyebrow.

"Nothing," Marlene says with a frown. "You just seem to have a lot of your old faction in you. Sometimes it makes me wonder."

Before anything else is said Eric continues to read.

" **Do you need to give everything a name?" says Cara, running her hands over her dull blond hair to tuck the stray pieces back. "We're just doing something and it happens to be in a group. No need for a new title."**

" **I happen to enjoy categorization," Fernando replies, arching a dark eyebrow.**

 **I look at Fernando. The last time I broke into a faction's headquarters, I did it with a gun in my hand, and I left bodies behind me. I want this time to be different. I need this time to be different. "I like it," I say. "Insurgent. It's perfect."**

"It will be perfect if you don't have to start attacking," Will says.

" **See?" Fernando says to Cara. "I'm not the only one."**

" **Congratulations," she says wryly.**

 **I stare at my Erudite clothes while the others strip off their outer layers of clothing.**

" **No time for modesty, Stiff!" Christina says, giving me a pointed look.**

 **I know she's right, so I pull off the red shirt I was wearing and put on the blue one instead. I glance at Fernando and Marcus to make sure they aren't watching, and change out of my pants too. I have to roll up the jeans four times, and when I belt them, they bunch at the top like the neck of a crushed paper bag.**

"You sound like you should still be in Amity with those clothes," Christina laughs.

" **Did she just call you 'Stiff'?" Fernando says.**

" **Yeah," I say. "I transferred into Dauntless from Abnegation."**

" **Huh." He frowns. "That's quite a shift. That kind of leap in personality between generations is almost genetically impossible these days."**

"If there are more and more people who are Divergent then wouldn't it be more possible these days?" Tori asks. "And if her mum was Dauntless then, it was probable that she would be Dauntless, genetically speaking."

"I think if we start trying to dissect those types of thoughts, we will never get these books read," Lynn says.

" **Sometimes personality has nothing to do with a person's choice of faction," I say, thinking of my mother. She left Dauntless not because she was ill-suited for it but because it was safer to be Divergent in Abnegation. And then there's Tobias, who switched to Dauntless to escape his father. "There are many factors to consider."**

 **To escape the man I have made my ally. I feel a twinge of guilt.**

"Abnegation has turned you into a guilt machine," Lynn says. "You know you are doing the right thing. You shouldn't feel guilty for doing what is right."

"I guess," Tris says, pondering what Lynn has said.

"She's right," I whisper in Tris' ear. "You are doing the right thing."

"Yeah, well I'm sure book you won't be saying that," Tris grumbles.

I chuckle a little. "I'm sure you are right about that."

" **Keep talking like that and they'll never discover you're not really Erudite," Fernando says.**

 **I run a comb through my hair to smooth it down and then tuck it behind my ears.**

" **Here," says Cara. She lifts a piece of hair from my face and pins it back with a silver hair clip, the way Erudite girls do.**

 **Christina takes out the guns we brought with us and looks at me.**

" **Do you want one?" she says. "Or would you rather carry the stunner?"**

 **I stare at the gun in her hand. If I don't take the stunner, I leave myself completely undefended against people who will gladly shoot me. If I do, I admit to weakness in front of Fernando, Cara, and Marcus.**

"Who cares what they would think?" Lynn says.

" **You know what Will would say?" says Christina.**

" **What?" I say, my voice breaking.**

" **He would tell you to get over it," she says. "To stop being so irrational and take the stupid gun."**

 **Will had little patience for the irrational. Christina must be right; she knew him better than I did.**

"Damn right," Christina calls out.

 **And she—who lost someone dear to her that day, just as I did—was able to forgive me, an act that must have been nearly impossible. It would have been impossible for me, if the situation were reversed. So why is it so difficult for me to forgive myself?**

"At least you are consistent," Tori says. "It wouldn't be good if you could forgive yourself easily but not forgive others."

 **I close my hand around the gun Christina offered me. The metal is warm from where she touched it. I feel the memory of shooting him poking at the back of my mind, and try to stifle it. But it won't be stifled. I let go of the gun.**

" **The stunner is a perfectly good option," Cara says as she plucks a hair from her shirtsleeve. "If you ask me, the Dauntless are too gun-happy anyway."**

 **Fernando offers me the stunner. I wish I could communicate my gratitude to Cara, but she isn't looking at me.**

"I bet she is wishing you had a stunner when you killed Will," Marlene says.

"It would only have gotten her killed," Lynn says. "She wouldn't have been able to get close enough to stun him. She did what she had to do."

" **How am I going to conceal this thing?" I say.**

" **Don't bother," Fernando says.**

" **Right."**

" **We'd better go," says Marcus, glancing at his watch.**

 **My heart beats so hard it marks each second for me, but the rest of me is numb. I can barely feel the ground. I have never been this afraid before, and considering all that I have seen in simulations, and all that I did during the attack simulation, that doesn't make any sense.**

"It's the first time you have realised that you want to live," I say. "It makes it all more real."

"I better not die then," Tris declares.

"I agree," I say.

 **Or maybe it does. Whatever the Abnegation were about to show everyone before the attack, it was enough to make Jeanine take drastic and terrible measures to stop them. And now I am about to finish their work, the work my old faction died for. So much more than my life is at stake now.**

 **Christina and I lead the way. We run down the clean, even sidewalks on Madison Avenue, passing State Street, toward Michigan Avenue.**

 **Half a block from Erudite headquarters, I come to a sudden stop.**

 **Standing in four rows in front of us are a group of people, mostly dressed in black and white, spaced two feet apart, guns held up and ready. I blink and they become simulation-controlled Dauntless in the Abnegation sector, during the simulation attack. Get a grip! Get a grip get a grip get a grip... I blink again and they are the Candor again—though some of them, dressed all in black, do look like Dauntless. If I'm not careful I'll lose touch with where, and when, I am.**

"My family," Christina wails.

"Bet Jack Kang is feeling like an idiot now," Zeke remarks.

"Who cares about Jack? What about my family?" Christina screams at Zeke.

"Calm down Christina," Will says. "It hasn't happened. It's just a book."

"I'm sure there are ways to save them from this Christina," Max says.

"What?" I ask.

"It's nothing that concerns you Four," max tells me.

"Bullshit, it doesn't," I say pointing my finger at him. "So, now you are making deals with people to get them on side? Have you not realised what you have allowed to happen is going to kill you? When are you going to realise that all this is ridiculous."

"Tobias," Tris softly says.

I keep staring at Max, he looks away. I then look at Tris.

"Calm down," she quietly says. "It's not the time."

I shake my head, trying to clear it. Trying to calm myself. Tris gets up and sits on my lap, facing me.

"Thank you," I whisper in her ear.

" **Oh my God," Christina says. "My sister, my parents ... what if they ..."**

Most of the room starts to laugh. "This isn't funny," Christina screams.

"We aren't laughing about your family, Christina," Lynn says. "We are laughing at your reactions. They were almost the same in the book as here. Plus, Eric trying to use a girly voice for the last line was really funny."

"Oh," Christina says.

 **She looks at me, and I think I know her thoughts, because I have experienced them before.** _ **Where are my parents? I have to find them**_ **. But if her parents are like these Candor, simulation controlled and armed, there is nothing she can do for them.**

 **I wonder if Lynn stands in one of these rows, somewhere else.**

"Thanks for thinking of me Tris," Lynn says with a smile.

"Wait! NO!" Shauna shouts. "Do you really think Lynn could be one of them?"

"It's possible Shauna," Lynn says.

"Well then, don't die. Or I will kick your butt," Shauna tells Lynn.

"You couldn't kick my butt even if I was dead," Lynn calmly tells Shauna. "Plus, it would be really hard to do from the wheelchair."

"Thanks for reminding me," Shauna sarcastically says.

"Always," Lynn replies.

" **What do we do?" Fernando asks.**

 **I step toward the Candor. Maybe they aren't programmed to shoot. I stare into the glazed eyes of a woman in a white blouse and black slacks. She looks like she just came from work. I take another step.**

 _ **Bang**_ **. By instinct I drop to the ground, covering my head with my arms, and scramble backward, toward Fernando's shoes. He helps me to my feet.**

" **How about let's not do that?" he says.**

 **I lean forward—not too far—and peer into the alley between the building next to us and Erudite headquarters. The Candor are in the alley too. I wouldn't be surprised if there was a dense layer of Candor surrounding the entire complex of Erudite buildings.**

"Why isn't Jeanine using her own people? She has used Dauntless and now Candor. There isn't many Abnegation left. Is she trying to wipe out all the factions? How are the factions going to survive if she keeps putting them in these situations? It's not like the Erudite will be able to do all the jobs the other factions do?" Tori asks.

"I think she has completely lost her mind," I say. "She wants power and she will get it any way that she can."

"There is no use being in power if you don't have anyone to control," Tori replies. "Jeanine wants to keep the factions but she is slowly destroying them, there won't be any factions left when she is finished. What will she do then?"

"Hopefully, we won't find out," I say. "Hopefully, we will stop her before she takes any more lives."

"Then we will have to all deal with your mother," Lynn grumbles.

"She's not my mother," I say. "She hasn't been a mother to me for a very long time."

Tris holds me tighter as I'm talking about Evelyn. Tris is my family now, we have a long way to go, but I'm sure we will get there.

" **Is there any other way to Erudite headquarters?" I say.**

" **Not that I know of," says Cara. "Unless you want to jump from one roof to another."**

 **She laughs a little as she says it, like it's a joke. I raise my eyebrows at her.**

" **Wait," she says. "You aren't considering—"**

"Of course she is considering it. These Erudite aren't real smart, are they?" Uriah says with a laugh.

" **The roof?" I say. "No. Windows."**

 **I walk to the left, careful not to advance even an inch toward the Candor. The building on my left overlaps with Erudite headquarters on its far left side. There have to be a few windows that face each other.**

 **Cara mutters something about crazy Dauntless stunts, but runs after me, and Fernando, Marcus, and Christina follow. I try to open the back door of the building, but it's locked.**

 **Christina steps forward and says, "Stand back." She points her gun at the lock. I shield my face with an arm as she fires. We hear a loud bang, and then a high ringing, the aftereffects of firing a gun in such a close space. The lock is broken.**

 **I pull the door open and walk inside. A long hallway with a tile floor greets me, doors on either side, some open, some closed. When I look into the open rooms, I see rows of old desks, and chalkboards on the walls like the ones in Dauntless headquarters. The air smells musty, like the pages of a library book mixed with cleaning solution.**

" **This used to be a commercial building," says Fernando, "but Erudite converted it into a school, for post-Choosing education. After the major renovations in Erudite headquarters about a decade ago—you know, when all the buildings across from Millennium were connected?—they stopped teaching there. Too old, hard to update."**

" **Thanks for the history lesson," says Christina.**

 **When I reach the end of the hallway, I walk into one of the classrooms to see where I am. I see the back of Erudite headquarters, but there are no windows across the alley at street level.**

 **Right outside the window, so close I could touch her if I stretched my hand through the window, is a Candor child, a girl, holding a gun that is as long as her forearm. She stands so still I wonder if she is even breathing.**

"Oh!" Christina gasps. "How can she do this to children?" Will holds tight to Christina.

 **I crane my neck to see the windows above street level. Over my head in the school building there are plenty of windows. At the back of Erudite headquarters, there is only one that lines up. And it's on the third story.**

" **Good news," I say. "I found a way across."**

"Someone else can read," Eric says as he shuts the book. "That's the shortest chapter I've had to read, I'm not tempting fate."

"I will," Tori says.

"How the hell is Marcus going to go between the two buildings?" Marlene asks.

"Keep reading," Zeke says with a big grin on his face.

We all look at him. "Oh come on, finally it's getting interesting. Maybe we will see Marcus fall to his death."

"We couldn't be that lucky," I say as I rise from my seat.

"Where are you going?" Zeke asks.

"Bed."


	43. Chapter 43

CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

FOUR'S POV

"Do you think we could stay here all day?" I ask Tris as I start to wake up.

"That would be nice."

"But?" I ask

"How did you know there was a but?"

"I just did."

"I'm meeting Lynn in the training room this morning. We haven't trained for a few days."

"Sounds like a good plan. We need to be ready."

"We do. Are you training this morning?"

"Yeah, I'll come down in a little while."

* * *

"What did Eric do to you?" Shauna is screaming at Lynn as we get ready to have lunch.

"Why do you always have to blame Eric," Lynn complains.

"Look at you, Lynn," Shauna says as she starts pointing at Lynn's face. "You have a black eye and it looks like your nose is broken."

"It doesn't mean that Eric was the one to do it. You always think the worst of him."

"It's not like he has given me any reason not to," Shauna exclaims.

Tris and Eric walk out of the kitchen with plates of food in their arms.

"Oh my God!" Shauna says as she looks at Tris. "Did Eric fight with you as well?"

"SHAUNA," Lynn screams at her sister. "Tris and I were sparring."

"Are you two insane? Look at the two of you," Shauna says shocked.

Tris has a swollen jaw and a black eye to go along with Lynn's injuries.

"Why aren't you reacting over this Four?" Shauna asks me.

"What do you want me to say?" I ask her. "They were sparring. It was a great fight."

"A great fight? How could you let them do this? This isn't initiation anymore."

"Calm down Shauna," Lynn says. "Just eat your lunch."

"I'm not hungry," Shauna spits at her sister, dropping her knife and fork and walks away from the table.

Zeke gets up and grabs his lunch and Shauna's. "Don't worry about her," he says as he goes in search of his very angry girlfriend.

"So, who won," Uriah asks.

"There wasn't one," Eric declares. "They both ended up on the mat exhausted."

"Would love to have seen it," Uriah states with a mouth full of food.

"There's healing serum in the draws in the kitchen," I say.

"Already done," Eric says. "I made them both take it before lunch."

"Thanks," I say. Hopefully the bruising will be less by dinner time and Shauna will start to calm down a bit.

Once we have finished lunch we make our way into the lounge room for more reading. Shauna and Zeke are already in their seats. Shauna still doesn't look happy but we just need to let her be, she will calm down, eventually.

"You still want to read Tori?" Will asks.

Tori nods and takes the book from Will.

 **CHAPTER FORTY-TWO**

 **Everyone spreads throughout the building in search of janitor's closets, per my instruction to find a ladder. I hear sneakers squeaking on the tile and shouts of "I found one—no, wait, it's just got buckets in it, never mind" and "How long does the ladder have to be? A stepladder won't work, right?"**

"Those Erudites aren't that smart, are they?" Zeke chuckles.

 **While they search, I find the third-floor classroom that looks into the Erudite window. It takes me three tries to open the right window.**

 **I lean out, over the alley, and shout, "Hey!" Then I duck as fast as I can. But I don't hear gunshots—** _ **Good**_ **, I think.** _ **They don't respond to noise**_ **.**

"You could have been shot," I say.

"Not really," Tris responds. I just shake my head.

 **Christina marches into the classroom with a ladder under her arm, the others behind her. "Got one! I think it'll be long enough once we stretch it out."**

"See it had to be the Dauntless in the group who found the ladder," Zeke points out.

 **She tries to turn too soon, and the ladder smacks into Fernando's shoulder.**

" **Oh! Sorry, Nando."**

 **The jolt knocked his glasses askew. He smiles at Christina and takes the glasses off, shoving them into his pocket.**

" **Nando?" I say to him. "I thought the Erudite didn't like nicknames?"**

" **When a pretty girl calls you by a nickname," he says, "it is only logical to respond to it."**

"Probably the only girl who has ever looked at him," Uriah scoffs.

 **Christina looks away, and at first I think she is bashful, but then I see her face contort like he slapped her instead of complimented her. It is too soon after Will's death for her to be flirted with.**

"Especially an Erudite," Zeke says.

"Hey!" is heard around the room.

"Calm down. None of you are Erudite anymore," I say.

"Are you sure about that?" Shauna says. Zeke gives Shauna a look and she doesn't say anything else.

 **I help her guide the end of the ladder through the classroom window and across the gap between buildings. Marcus helps us steady it. Fernando whoops when the ladder hits the Erudite window across the alley.**

" **Time to break the glass," I say.**

 **Fernando takes the glass-breaking device from his pocket and offers it to me. "You probably have the best aim."**

" **I wouldn't count on it," I say. "My right arm is out of commission. I'd have to throw with my left."**

" **I'll do it," says Christina.**

 **She presses the button on the side of the device and tosses it across the alley, underhand. I clench my hands as I wait for it to land. It bounces onto the windowsill and rolls into the glass. An orange light flashes, and all at once the window—and the windows above, below, and next to it—shatters into hundreds of tiny pebbles that shower over the Candor below.**

 **At the same time, the Candor twist and fire up into the sky. Everyone else drops to the ground, but I stay on my feet, part of me marveling at the perfect synchronicity of it, and the other part disgusted at how Jeanine Matthews has turned yet another faction from human beings into parts of a machine. None of the bullets even hit the classroom windows, let alone penetrate the room.**

"How can she do this?" I ask. "I don't understand how she can justify what she is doing."

"She didn't need to put us under the sim, if the Candor can do it, then she should have had her own people put under the sim in the first place," Shauna calls out.

"She would never use her own people. They are too valuable to her," Max says.

"She's an idiot," Lynn scoffs.

 **When the Candor do not fire another round, I peer down at them. They have returned to their original position, half facing Madison Avenue and half facing Washington Street.**

" **They respond to movement only, so ... don't fall off the ladder," I say. "Whoever goes first will secure the ladder on the other side."**

 **I notice that Marcus, who is supposed to selflessly offer himself up for every task, does not volunteer.**

"That was never going to happen," I sneer.

" **Not feeling very Stiff today, Marcus?" says Christina.**

Laughter fills the room.

" **If I were you, I would be careful who you insult," he says. "I am still the only person here who can find what we're looking for."**

"Please," Eric says. "I'm sure that anyone can find what he is looking for, he is bluffing."

"I'd agree with that," I say.

" **Is that a** _ **threat**_ **?"**

" **I'll go," I say, before Marcus can answer. "I'm part Stiff too, right?"**

 **I shove the stunner under the waistband of my jeans and climb onto a desk to get a better angle on the window. Christina holds the ladder from the side as I clamber on top of it and start forward.**

"That stunner better not fall out while you are crossing," I say.

 **Once I'm through the window, I position my feet on the narrow edges of the ladder and my hands on the rungs. The ladder feels about as solid and stable as an aluminum can. It creaks and sags beneath my weight. I try not to look down at the Candor; try not to think about their guns lifting and firing at me.**

"Lucky Four isn't with you," Marlene says. "Because of the heights thing."

"He'd still do it," Zeke says. "He would follow Tris anywhere."

"Or he'd stop her from doing it," Shauna says.

"Probably more likely to try and stop her," Eric says.

 **Taking quick breaths, I stare at my destination, the Erudite window. Just a few rungs left.**

 **A breeze blows through the alley, pushing me to one side, and I think of scaling the Ferris wheel with Tobias. He kept me steady then. There is no one left to keep me steady now.**

"And whose fault is that?" I ask.

"Don't," Tris snaps at me.

" _Fine_."

 **I catch a glimpse of the ground, three stories down, the bricks smaller than they should be, the lines of Candor Jeanine enslaved. My arms—especially my right arm—ache as I inch my way across the gap.**

 **The ladder shifts, moving closer to the edge of the window frame on the other side. Christina is holding one side steady, but she can't keep the ladder from slipping off the other windowsill. I grit my teeth and try not to move it too much, but I can't move both legs at the same time. I have to let the ladder sway a little. Just four more rungs to go.**

"That would make me sick," Will says.

"Heights is your fear too?" Marlene asks.

"Yeah," Will says with a sigh.

"How did you go about being in Dauntless? Did you do the same as Four and just ignore it?" Marlene asks.

"I was trying but I hadn't had much chance to overcome it," Will replies.

"Maybe when we get back you will get the chance," Marlene says with such a cheery voice.

"I hope so."

 **The ladder jerks to the left, and then, as I move my right foot forward, I miss the edge of the rung.**

 **I yell as my body shifts to the side, my arms wrapping around the ladder and my leg dangling in space.**

" **Are you okay?" Christina calls from behind me.**

 **I don't answer. I bring my leg up and wedge it beneath my body. My fall made the ladder slip even farther off the windowsill. It is now supported by just a millimeter of concrete.**

"Can I go and get Tris' shirt?" Zeke asks laughing.

"NO!" Tris and I shout together.

"Woah, you two are scary," Zeke says.

 **I decide to move fast. I lurch toward the opposite windowsill just as the ladder slips off. My hands catch the sill and concrete scrapes my fingertips as they bear my body weight. Several voices behind me scream.**

"I don't want to have to hear this," I say.

"I'm going to be okay," Tris says as she rubs my back.

I hate this. When I'm not there to help her, to make sure she is safe.

 **I grit my teeth as I pull myself up, my right shoulder shrieking with pain. I kick at the brick building, hoping it will give me traction, but it doesn't help. I scream into my teeth as I pull myself up and over the windowsill, half my body in the building and the other half still dangling. Thankfully Christina didn't let the ladder drop too far. None of the Candor shoot me.**

 **I pull myself into the Erudite room across the alley. It is a bathroom. I collapse to the floor on my left shoulder, and try to breathe through the pain. Sweat trickles down my forehead.**

"It's fortunate that you went first," Eric says. "She's small, so if it was a larger person they probably would have been on the pavement. Plus she has had physical training, the Erudite's with her wouldn't have the strength to do what Tris just did."

 **An Erudite woman comes out of a stall, and I scramble to my feet, draw the stunner, and point it at her, all without thinking.**

"Yeah, because all Erudite's coming out of a toilet stall will have a gun on them," Eric laughs.

"You don't know," I say. "With the tensions going on, they could have weapons on them."

"They wouldn't know how to use them and it would only be for show," Eric says.

 **She freezes, her arms up, toilet paper stuck to her shoe.**

"How embarrassing," Marlene sing songs. "You do not want to get caught with toilet paper stuck to your shoe."

"That is very true," Christina says.

" **Don't shoot!" Her eyes bulge from her head.**

 **I remember, then, that I am dressed like the Erudite. I set the stunner on the edge of a sink.**

" **My apologies," I say. I try to adopt the formal speech common to the Erudite. "I am slightly edgy, with everything that's occurring. We are reentering in order to retrieve some of our test results from ... Laboratory 4-A."**

" **Oh," the woman says. "That seems rather unwise."**

" **The data is of the utmost importance," I say, trying to sound as arrogant as some of the Erudite I've met. "I would rather not leave it to get riddled with bullets."**

" **It's hardly my place to prevent you from trying to recover it," she says. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to wash my hands and take cover."**

" **Sounds good," I say. I decide not to tell her she has toilet paper on her shoe.**

"Tris that is just really mean," Marlene declares. "But I would have done the same thing." Marlene starts laughing.

"Yeah, who wouldn't," Lynn says laughing along with Marlene.

 **I turn back to the window. Across the alley, Christina and Fernando are trying to lift the ladder back onto the windowsill. Though my arms and hands ache, I lean out the window and grab the other end of the ladder, lifting it back onto the windowsill. Then I hold it in place as Christina crawls across.**

 **This time the ladder is more stable, and Christina makes it across the gap without trouble. She takes my place holding it as I shove the trash can in front of the door so no one else can come in. I then run my fingers under cool water to soothe them.**

" **This is pretty smart, Tris," she says.**

" **You don't have to sound so surprised."**

" **It's just ..." She pauses. "You had aptitude for Erudite, didn't you?"**

" **Does it matter?" I say too sharply. "The factions are destroyed, and it was all stupid to begin with."**

"That's a bold statement Tris," Max says.

"Well, what do you think?" Tris asks Max. "You helped to create the mess we are in. The factions may not be perfect but they are a lot better than what is happening now."

 **I have never said anything like that before. I have never even thought it. But I'm surprised to find that I believe it—surprised to find that I agree with Tobias.**

"It has been awhile since you two agreed on anything," Zeke says. "In the story, I mean."

" **I wasn't trying to insult you," says Christina. "Having aptitude for Erudite isn't a bad thing. Especially right now."**

" **Sorry. I'm just ... tense. That's all."**

 **Marcus comes through the window and drops to the tile floor. Cara is surprisingly nimble—she moves over the rungs like she's plucking banjo strings, touching each one only briefly before she moves to the next one.**

 **Fernando will be last, and he will be in the same position I was in, with the ladder secured from only one side. I move closer to the window so I can tell him to stop if I see the ladder slip.**

"I see Marcus wasn't volunteering to be the last," Tris says. "I wonder what he would have done if there was someone more important with us."

"It all depends on who he is putting the show on for," I say.

 **Fernando, who I didn't think would have trouble, moves more awkwardly than anyone else. He has probably spent his entire life behind a computer or a book. He shuffles forward, his face bright red, and holds the rungs so tightly that his hands turn blotchy and purple.**

 **Halfway across the alley, I see something slip out of his pocket. It is his spectacles.**

"Oh no!" Tris gasps.

 **I scream, "Fernan—"**

 **But I am too late.**

 **The spectacles fall, hit the edge of the ladder, and topple to the pavement.**

 **In a wave, the Candor below twist and fire upward. Fernando yells, and collapses against the ladder. One bullet hit his leg. I didn't see where the others went, but I know when I see blood drip between the rungs of the ladder that it was not a good place.**

 **Fernando stares at Christina, his face ashen. Christina surges forward, through the window, about to reach for him.**

" **Don't be an idiot!" he says, his voice weak. "Leave me."**

 **It is the last thing he says.**

"That's the end of the chapter," Tori says.

"That is terrible," Marlene says as she tries to stifle a sob. "Why do people have to keep dying?"

No one answers, I think it is the question we have all been asking in our minds for a while now. Just not wanting to voice it, because the answer will never justify all the death we are having to experience.


	44. Chapter 44

CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

FOUR'S POV

"I'll just keep reading," Tori says.

No one argues, I think we are still all a little stunned. It may not have been someone that we personally knew but it's still another death. Another young person's life cut short by an insane woman.

 **CHAPTER FORTY-THREE**

 **Christina steps back into the room. We are all still.**

" **I don't mean to be insensitive," says Marcus, "but we have to go before the Dauntless and factionless enter this building. If they haven't already."**

"As if he knows any different," Lynn mutters.

 **I hear tapping against the window and jerk my head to the side, for a split second believing that it is Fernando, trying to get in. But it's just rain.**

 **We follow Cara out of the bathroom. She is our leader now. She knows Erudite headquarters best. Christina follows, then Marcus, then me. We leave the bathroom, and we are in an Erudite hallway like every other Erudite hallway: pale, bright, sterile.**

"You must hate that place by now," Uriah says to Tris.

"I'm sure I do."

 **But this hallway is more active than I have ever seen it. People in Erudite blue sprint back and forth, in groups and alone, shouting things at each other like, "They're at the front doors! Go as high as you can!" and "They've disabled the elevators! Run for the stairs!" It's only there, in the midst of chaos, that I realize I forgot the stunner in the bathroom. I am unarmed again.**

"You have to be kidding me," I groan. "Do you have any idea of self-preservation?"

"I don't think I meant to do it," Tris defends.

"That might be so, but Tris, you are going to get yourself killed if you keep acting like this."

 **Dauntless traitors also run past us, though they are less frantic than the Erudite. I wonder what Johanna, the Amity, and the Abnegation are doing in this chaos. Are they tending to the wounded? Or are they standing between Dauntless guns and Erudite innocents, taking bullets for the sake of peace?**

"I bet Johanna has a gun in her hand," Tori says.

"That is something I would like to see," Zeke chuckles.

 **I shudder. Cara leads us to a back staircase, and we join a group of terrified Erudite as we run up one, two, three flights of stairs. Then Cara shoves her shoulder into a door next to the landing, holding her gun close to her chest.**

 **I recognize this floor.**

 **It is my floor.**

"They just had to go to that floor," Eric says shaking his head. I'm right there with him in what he is thinking.

 **My thoughts become sluggish. I almost died here. I craved death here.**

 **I slow down and fall behind. I can't break out of the daze, though people keep rushing past me, and Marcus shouts something at me, but his voice is muffled. Christina doubles back and grabs me, dragging me toward Control-A.**

 **Inside the control room, I see rows of computers but I don't really see them; there is a film covering my eyes. I try to blink it away. Marcus sits at one of the computers, and Cara sits at another. They will send all the data from the Erudite computers to the other faction computers.**

 **Behind me, the door opens.**

 **And I hear Caleb say, "What are you doing here?"**

"Just shoot the fucker," Lynn shouts out.

"I haven't got a gun," Tris says.

"Would you though?" Lynn asks.

"I don't know," Tris says honestly.

"Page break."

 **His voice wakes me. I turn and stare right at his gun.**

 **His eyes are my mother's eyes—a dull green, almost gray, though his blue shirt makes their color appear more potent.**

" **Caleb," I say. "What do you think you're doing?"**

" **I'm here to stop whatever you're doing!" His voice trembles. The gun wavers in his hands.**

"I don't think you will have a problem stopping him Tris," Lynn says. "He doesn't have the guts to kill you himself. He is too much of a coward."

"Yeah, but he's okay with watching someone else do it," I say.

"How can two children from the same parents be so different?" Shauna asks.

"I don't know, look at you and Lynn," Eric comments. "Don't look at me like that Shauna. You can't fight for shit and Lynn is an amazing fighter. You are always dressing like a tart and Lynn likes to look like a guy. Everyone is different, doesn't matter who your parents are."

"I do not dress like a tart," Shauna says through gritted teeth.

"I thought you would have liked that look," I say to Eric. I quickly bow my head when I see Shauna give me a glare. Although I don't think she dresses like a tart.

"Really?" Eric asks me. "You of all people should have realised by now that I don't."

"I don't think you want to go there right now," I say.

"What is going on?" Zeke asks. "Did you two have a thing before Tris got here? Is that why you always act like you hate each other?"

"NO!" Eric and I both shout at the same time.

Lynn and Tris are laughing their heads off. Tori is trying really hard not to laugh and the rest of the room is looking at us like they are shocked and think that Eric and I could have been together.

"How did this shit just become about us?" Eric asks. "Just read the story. If I was going to go for a man I would have better taste than him."

"Neither of you sound convincing," Shauna says with a smile on her face.

"Think what you like," I say with a shrug. "I just don't care."

I just want to get these books read. Plus, Caleb is standing there with a gun pointed at Tris, he is unpredictable and for all I know, he would happily kill his sister.

"No, I think we should explore this more," Zeke says.

"Okay," I say. "When I'm not at work or with you, where am I?"

"There is only three places you go. The training room, the fear landscape room and the dining hall," Zeke says.

"So, when am I spending time with Eric?"

"Okay, fine," Zeke says.

"You sound disappointed," Shauna comments.

"No," Zeke says. "I'm not, those two as a couple would be just too weird."

"I don't know," Marlene ponders. "It could be kinda hot."

"Marlene!" Uriah, Lynn and Tris all shout at once.

"What?" Marlene innocently asks. "Look at them. They are both well-built, they are good looking. None of the girls in Dauntless would be happy about it."

"You are thinking too much about this," Uriah says. "Can you please just keep reading Tori?"

" **We're here to save the Erudite data that the factionless want to destroy," I say. "I don't think you want to stop us."**

" **That's not true," he says. He jerks his head toward Marcus. "Why would you bring him if you weren't trying to find something else? Something more important to him than all the Erudite data combined?"**

" **She told** _ **you**_ **about it?" Marcus says. "** _ **You**_ **, a child?"**

"Marcus is ridiculous," Tori states. "He is working with 'the child's' younger sibling to get the data but is pissed because Jeanine told him about it. And he was going to release the information anyway, so every 'child' was going to hear about it anyway."

"He just likes to think that he is the only person who knows things," I say.

"What was he going to do once this information was released? He wouldn't have anything else to hold over everyone," Tori asks.

"No idea," I dryly say.

" **She didn't tell me at first," Caleb says. "But she didn't want me to choose a side without knowing the facts!"**

" **The facts," says Marcus, "are that she is terrified of reality, and the Abnegation were not. Are not. And neither is your sister. To her credit."**

 **I scowl. Even when he is complimenting me, I want to smack him.**

"Just smack him Tris," Uriah says.

"Maybe get the gun off Caleb first," Lynn says with a smile.

" **My sister," says Caleb gently, looking at me again, "doesn't know what she's getting into. Doesn't know what it is that you want to show everyone ... doesn't know it will ruin** _ **everything**_ **!"**

"Caleb is still acting like the big brother, telling you what to do," Eric says. "He has no respect for you. He just sees you as beneath him. It didn't take long for Jeanine to manipulate him."

"And how long did it take Jeanine to manipulate you?" I ask.

Eric just glares at me and the book starts to get read again.

" **We are here to serve a purpose!" Marcus is almost yelling now. "We have completed our mission, and it is time for us to do what we were sent here to do!"**

 **I don't know the purpose or the mission that Marcus is referring to, but Caleb doesn't look confused.**

" _ **We**_ **were not sent here," Caleb says. "We have no responsibility to anyone but ourselves."**

" **That kind of self-interested thinking is what I have come to expect from those who have spent too much time with Jeanine Matthews. You are so unwilling to relinquish your comfort that your selfishness drains you of humanity!"**

"I don't understand how he could act so selfless his whole life and then a few months with Jeanine and Erudite and he is like a completely different person," Marlene says.

"It's his age. He is still very immature and he wants approval from his elders. It wouldn't matter what faction he transferred to, he would be doing all that he could to get their approval," Tori states.

"Could you imagine him trying to suck up to Eric?" Uriah laughs a big belly laugh.

"He would never last in Dauntless, he is a coward," Eric says. "He reminds me of Al."

I'd never thought of it like that but I think Eric has a point. Al was too soft for Dauntless, Caleb would be too.

 **I don't care to hear more. While Caleb stares down Marcus, I turn and kick hard at Caleb's wrist. The impact shocks him, and his gun topples from his hands. I slide it across the floor with my toes.**

"Go Tris! Go Tris! Go Tris!" Uriah and Zeke call out.

"Just shut it," Lynn snaps, throwing pillows at both of them.

" **You need to trust me, Beatrice," he says, chin wobbling.**

"Is he joking?" I yell.

" **After you helped her torture me? After you let her almost** _ **kill**_ **me?"**

" **I didn't help her tort—"**

" **You certainly didn't stop her! You were right there, and you just** _ **watched**_ **—"**

" **What could I have done? What—"**

" **You could have** _ **tried**_ **, you coward!" I scream so loud my face gets hot and tears jump into my eyes. "Tried, and failed, because you love me!"**

"Good on you Tris," Lynn says. "I'm glad you got to say that to him. You are right he is a coward."

"I can't believe that is the same person that I grew up with," Tris softly says. "I don't understand how he could do all that he has done."

"Lucky you have us as your family now," Lynn says with a smile.

"Are you sure?" Zeke asks. "We are a little bit crazy."

"A little bit?" I ask with a raised eyebrow to Zeke.

"Okay a lot crazy," Zeke replies.

"Then I should fit in then," Tris says with a smile, even though she is wiping tears from her eyes.

"Now you are stuck with us," Uriah claims.

"I already thought I was," Tris laughs.

"You okay?" I quietly ask Tris.

"Yeah," she responds. I don't believe her but that's okay, she has a lot to process when it comes to Caleb. And I will always be here for her.

 **I gasp, just to take in enough air. All I hear is the click of keys as Cara works on the task at hand. Caleb doesn't seem to have a response. His pleading look slowly disappears, replaced by a blank stare.**

"He was trying to play you," Uriah comments. "He can just turn on the emotions that he needs whenever it suits him."

"He is a sociopath," Tori says.

" **You won't find what you're looking for here," he says. "She wouldn't keep such important files on public computers. That would be illogical."**

" **So she hasn't destroyed it?" Marcus says.**

 **Caleb shakes his head. "She does not believe in the destruction of information. Only its containment."**

"Wouldn't she be afraid that it could still get out?" Marlene asks.

"Obviously, she thinks she is smarter than the rest of us," Tori says with venom in her voice.

"Just because you are more intelligent doesn't mean you are smarter," Eric states.

"You would know," Tori snaps.

"Just read Tori," I say.

" **Well, thank God for that," says Marcus. "Where is she keeping it?"**

" **I'm not going to tell you," Caleb says.**

" **I think I know," I say. Caleb said she wouldn't keep the information on a public computer. So he must mean she is keeping it on a private one: either the one in her office or the one in the laboratory Tori told me about.**

 **Caleb doesn't look at me.**

 **Marcus picks up Caleb's revolver and turns it in his hand so the butt of the gun protrudes from his fist. Then he swings, striking Caleb under the jaw. Caleb's eyes roll back, and he falls to the floor.**

"It's the first time Marcus has hit someone for their actual own good," Eric chuckles.

"Great," I mutter.

"Are you okay?" Tris asks.

I just nod. No, I'm not. I have to keep remembering that this is just a story right now, it hasn't happened and that we get the chance to stop it from happening. But listening to Caleb treat Tris like that makes me angry. Listening to Tris interact with Marcus, makes me angry. I also don't want to know what my reaction is going to be like when I find out what she has been doing in the book. I don't see a happy reunion happening.

 **I don't want to know how Marcus perfected that maneuver.**

"Neither do we," Max mutters.

" **We can't have him running off to tell someone what we're doing," says Marcus. "Let's go. Cara can take care of the rest, right?"**

 **Cara nods without looking up from her computer. A sick feeling in my stomach, I follow Marcus and Christina out of the control room and toward the stairs.**

I hold tighter to Tris, if she has a sick feeling about what is going to happen then it can't be good.

"That's a page break."

 **The hallway outside is now empty. There are scraps of paper and footprints on the tile. Marcus, Christina, and I jog in a line to the stairwell. I stare at the back of his head, where the shape of his skull shows through his buzzed hair.**

"Thinking about blowing his brains out?" Zeke asks Tris with a smile.

"Maybe," Tris shrugs.

 **All I can see when I look at him is a belt swinging toward Tobias, and the butt of a gun slamming into Caleb's jaw. I don't care that he hurt Caleb—I would have done it, too—but that he is simultaneously a man who knows how to hurt people and a man who parades around as the self-effacing leader of Abnegation, suddenly makes me so angry I can't see straight.**

 **Especially because I chose him. I chose him over Tobias.**

"You didn't have a choice," Lynn quietly says.

"She's right," I whisper. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault Tobias," Tris tries to comfort me. "We just keep being put in these horrible situations."

" **Your brother is a traitor," says Marcus as we turn a corner. "He deserved worse. There's no need to look at me that way."**

" **Shut up!" I shout, shoving him hard into the wall. He is too surprised to push back. "I hate you, you know that! I hate you for what you did to him, and I am not talking about Caleb." I lean close to his face and whisper, "And while I may not shoot you myself, I will definitely not help you if someone tries to kill you, so you'd better hope to God we don't get into that situation."**

"YEAH!" Lynn and Marlene both shout.

 **He stares at me, apparently indifferent. I release him and start toward the stairs again, Christina on my heels, Marcus a few steps behind.**

"He just doesn't think he did anything wrong," Zeke says shaking his head.

"Do you really think he would have done it if he did think it was wrong?" Eric asks.

Which is a great question. One I haven't ever thought of. Maybe he just doesn't see what he did to me as wrong. I shake my head, just trying to clear it from the many thoughts that seem to keep clouding it.

" **Where are we going?" she says.**

" **Caleb said what we're looking for won't be on a public computer, so it has to be on a private one. As far as I know, Jeanine only has two private computers, one in her office, and one in her laboratory," I say.**

" **So which one do we go to?"**

" **Tori told me there were insane security measures protecting Jeanine's laboratory," I say. "And I've been to her office; it's just another room."**

" **So ... laboratory, then."**

" **Top floor."**

 **We reach the door to the stairwell, and when I throw it open, a group of Erudite, including children, are sprinting down the stairs. I cling to the railing and force my way through them with my elbow, not looking at their faces, like they are not human, just a wall of mass to push aside.**

"At least you aren't trying to shoot your way through," I say.

"No, that would be something Peter would do," Christina says.

"Could you imagine if Peter, Marcus and Caleb all joined forces?" Lynn says.

"Please don't even think that," I say.

"But-," Lynn says.

I stop her by holding up my hand. "Lynn, there is enough to worry about with what is going on in the book without adding to the drama," I say.

 **I expect the stream to stop, but more come from the next landing, a steady flow of blue-clad people in dim blue light, the whites of their eyes bright as lamps by contrast to everything else. Their terrified sobs echo in the cement chamber a hundred times, the shrieks of the demons with glowing eyes.**

Lynn starts laughing. "The shrieks of the demons? Really Tris? Where did you get that idea from?"

There are snickers from around the room. "Don't forget about their glowing eyes, Lynn," Uriah laughs a hearty laugh.

"They do teach about demons in Abnegation, you know," Tris defends weakly.

"Yeah, I'm sure you all get told you are going to hell if you don't help old Mrs What's her name wash between her toes," Eric laughs.

"That is just gross," Tris says, trying not to laugh. "Please keep reading Tori."

 **When we reach the seventh-floor landing, the crowd thins, and then disappears. I run my hands along my arms to get rid of the ghosts of hair, sleeves, and skin that brushed against me on the way up. I can see the top of the stairs from where we stand.**

 **I also see the body of a guard, his arm dangling over the edge of a stair, and standing over him, a factionless man with an eye patch.**

 **Edward.**

"This can't be good," Uriah says.

"It's not going to end well," I say.

"Do I need to go and get two shirts?" Zeke asks.

"No!" Christina and Tris exclaim.

"But you don't have a gun Tris," Uriah points out.

"Christina and Marcus do," Tris counters.

"I'm sure Marcus would have no trouble using it," I say.

"He didn't shoot Caleb," Eric points out.

"He probably would have if Tris hadn't been there."

"That was a page break, I better keep reading," Tori says.

I just look at her incredulously.

"Don't look at me like that Four," Tori laughs.

" **Look who it is," Edward says. He stands at the top of a short flight, only seven steps long, and I stand at the bottom. The Dauntless traitor guard lies between us, his eyes glazed, a dark patch on his chest from where someone—Edward, probably—shot him.**

"Didn't someone say he was crazy?" Uriah asks.

"Yeah, I did when we were in Abnegation," I answer.

"So, Edward is probably enjoying the killing," Uriah responds.

"Great Uriah, that is just what we needed to hear when Tris has come across him," Marlene says as she smacks his arm.

" **That's a strange outfit for someone who is supposed to despise Erudite," he says. "I thought you were supposed to be at home, waiting for your boyfriend to come back a hero?"**

"A hero?" Eric scoffs.

"Well at least his not DEAD!" Christina shouts out and everyone laughs.

" **As you may have gathered," I say, walking up a step, "that was never going to happen."**

 **The blue light casts shadows into the faint hollows beneath Edward's cheekbones. He reaches behind him.**

 **If he is here, that means Tori is already up here. Which means that Jeanine might already be dead.**

 **I feel Christina close behind me; I hear her breaths.**

" **We are going to get past you," I say, walking up another step.**

" **I doubt that," he replies. He grabs his gun. I launch myself forward, over the fallen guard. He fires, but my hands are wrapped around his wrist, so he doesn't fire straight.**

"How did you move up those five other steps so quickly?" Eric asks. Trust him to be counting the steps.

"What do you mean?" Tris asks.

"Look at you, you're short as," Eric answers. "You would have to move pretty damn quick to get to him."

"But it doesn't say she got to the top of the steps, it says she got a hand around his wrist," Lynn says.

Eric is just shaking his head. "And you think Edward is crazy," he mutters to himself.

 **My ears ring, and my feet scramble for stability on the dead guard's back.**

 **Christina punches over my head. Her knuckles connect with Edward's nose. I can't balance on top of the body; I fall to my knees, digging my fingernails into his wrist. He wrenches me to the side and fires again, hitting Christina in the leg.**

"Shit!" Christina exclaims. "I better not die right now."

"You will be fine," Tris responds.

"You don't know that," Christina squeals.

"Let Tori read, so we can find out," Will soothingly says to Christina.

 **Gasping, Christina draws her gun and shoots. The bullet hits him in the side. Edward screams and drops the gun, pitching forward. He falls on top of me, and I smack my head against one of the cement steps. The dead guard's arm is jammed into my spine.**

 **Marcus picks up Edward's gun and trains it on both of us.**

" **Get up, Tris," he says. And to Edward: "You. Don't move."**

 **My hand searches for the corner of a step, and I squeeze from between Edward and the dead guard. Edward pushes himself to a sitting position on top of the guard—like he's some kind of** _ **cushion**_ **—clutching his side with both hands.**

" **You okay?" I ask Christina.**

 **Her face contorts. "Ahh. Yeah. It hit the side, not the bone."**

"Told you," Tris says with a smile.

"Yeah great," Christina complains.

 **I reach for her, to help her up.**

" **Beatrice," Marcus says. "We have to leave her."**

"Beatrice," Lynn chuckles. "It makes me laugh every time."

" **What do you mean** _ **leave**_ **?" I demand. "We can't leave! Something terrible could happen!"**

 **Marcus presses his index finger to my sternum, in the gap between my collarbones, and leans over me.**

I start to tense. This is not good.

" **Listen to me," he says. "Jeanine Matthews will have retreated to her laboratory at the first sign of attack, because it is the safest room in this building. And at any moment, she will decide that Erudite is lost and it is better to delete the data than risk anyone else finding it, and this mission of ours will be useless."**

 **And I will have lost everyone: my parents, Caleb, and finally, Tobias, who will never forgive me for working with his father, especially if I have no way to prove that it was worthwhile.**

I hate this, I hate this so much.

" **We are going to leave your friend here." His breath smells stale. "And move on, unless you would rather me go on alone."**

"Ew, you can smell his breath," Marlene scrunches up her knows. "That is just really, really gross."

" **He's right," says Christina. "There's no time. I'll stay here and keep Ed from coming after you."**

 **I nod. Marcus removes his finger, leaving an aching circle behind. I rub the pain away and open the door at the top of the landing. I look back before I walk through it, and Christina gives me a pained smile, her hand pressed to her thigh.**

"That's the chapter over," Tori says closing the book.


	45. Chapter 45

CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

FOUR'S POV

"Max I think you should read," Tori says as we sit back down after dinner to read the book.

"Why me?"

"Because I am about to kill Jeanine, hopefully. Tris and Four could end up in a full-blown war with each other any minute. I don't know where Lynn and Uriah are and Christina could bleed out, while babysitting Edward," Tori replies.

"Fine," he mutters.

"We are not going to end up in a war," I defend.

"And I'm not going to bleed out," Christina sounds defensive too.

"You hope," Tori responds.

I shut my mouth, I'm not going to get into an argument with her. And she might be right.

Christina goes to open her mouth but Will whispers to her and she shuts her mouth too. Just nodding to him.

 **CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR**

 **The next room is more like a hallway: it is wide, but not deep, with blue tile, blue walls, and a blue ceiling, all the same shade. Everything glows, but I can't tell where the light is coming from.**

 **At first I don't see any doors, but once my eyes adjust to the shock of color, I see a rectangle in the wall to my left, and another one in the wall to my right. Just two doors.**

" **We have to split up," I say. "We don't have time to try each one together."**

" **Which one do you want?" Marcus says.**

" **Right," I say. "Wait, no. Left."**

"What difference does it make?" Eric asks.

"I have no idea," Tris responds.

" **Fine. I will go right."**

" **If I'm the one who finds the computer," I say, "what should I look for?"**

" **If you find the computer, you will find Jeanine. I assume you know a few ways to coerce her into doing what you want. She is not, after all, accustomed to pain," he says.**

"I bet he is hoping he gets the chance to torture her," I say. "He hasn't had anyone to do that to for two years."

"Do you think he would find someone else?" Zeke asks.

"It wouldn't surprise me," I say.

"It's a wonder he didn't remarry, especially after you left," Shauna says.

"Probably just happy to have his life to himself. Didn't have a fuck up of a son to bring him down anymore," I say.

"Stop thinking like that," Tris whisper shouts at me.

"It's a wonder the ladies weren't lined up to try and marry him," Eric says. "Being the leader and all."

"Maybe some people did believe the Erudite reports," Lynn says.

 **I nod. We walk at the same pace toward our respective doors. A moment ago I would have said that separating from Marcus would be a relief. But going on alone is its own burden. What if I can't get through the security measures Jeanine undoubtedly has in place to keep out intruders? What if, if I somehow manage to get through them, I can't find the right file?**

"At least you are there, the others can't destroy the information if you are there," Uriah says.

"She doesn't have any weapons," I say.

"Oh yeah, right," Uriah says.

 **I put my hand on the door handle. There doesn't seem to be a lock. When Tori said there were insane security measures, I thought she meant eye scanners and passwords and locks, but so far, everything has been open.**

 **Why does that worry me?**

 **I open my door, and Marcus opens his. We share a look. I walk into the next room.**

"I wonder what the security is?" Zeke asks rubbing his hands together.

"Page break."

 **The room, like the hallway outside, is blue, though here it is clear where the light is coming from. It glows from the center of every panel, ceiling, floor, and walls.**

 **Once the door closes behind me, I hear a thud like a dead bolt shifting into place. I grab the door handle again and push down as hard as I can, but it doesn't budge. I am trapped.**

"What if you are trapped in there forever?" Uriah asks.

"I'm sure someone will find me," Tris says.

"But we don't know where you are," Uriah says.

"I do," Christina says with a smile.

"Yeah but you could be dead before you get to tell anyone," Zeke chuckles.

"I'm not dying," Christina says but there isn't much conviction in her voice.

"You don't sound very convinced," Zeke says holding up one of his shirts with the "X" on it. Christina just scowls at him.

 **Small, piercing lights come at me from all angles. My eyelids aren't enough to block them, so I have to press my palms over my eye sockets.**

 **I hear a calm, feminine voice:**

" **Beatrice Prior, second generation. Faction of origin: Abnegation. Selected faction: Dauntless. Confirmed Divergent."**

"How can a room know all that?" Marlene asks.

"With everything that Erudite and Jeanine have been doing, how did she find time to update that Tris was Divergent? And what does second generation mean?" Tori asks.

 **How does this room know who I am?**

 **And what does "second generation" mean?**

"Thinking the same way," Zeke points at Tris and Tori.

" **Status: Intruder."**

 **I hear a click, and pull my fingers apart just enough to see if the lights are gone. They aren't, but fixtures in the ceiling spray tinted vapor. Instinctively I clap my hand over my mouth. In seconds I stare through a blue fog. And then I stare at nothing.**

"Is it a blue fog or is it because the walls make it look blue?" Eric asks.

"Who would know?" I ask.

"I wonder what it is?" Tori asks.

"There are too many questions. Can you just read Max?" Lynn asks.

 **I now stand in darkness so complete that when I hold my hand in front of my nose, I can't even see its silhouette. I should walk forward and search for a door on the other side of the room, but I am afraid to move—who knows what would happen to me here if I did?**

 **Then the lights lift, and I stand in the Dauntless training room, in the circle in which we used to spar. I have so many mixed memories of this circle, some triumphant, like beating Molly, and some haunting—Peter punching me until I fell unconscious. I sniff, and the air smells the same, like sweat and dust.**

"Is this a sim?" I ask.

"Looks like it," Eric answers.

"That would be a better way to administer one," I say.

"Then you wouldn't get the chance to stab the initiates every day," Eric says.

"Yes, because that's what I live for being a trainer. Jabbing the initiates with needles," sarcasm dripping from my voice.

 **Across the circle is a blue door that doesn't belong there. I frown at it.**

" **Intruder," the voice says, and now it sounds like Jeanine, but that could be my imagination. "You have five minutes to reach the blue door before the poison will kick in."**

" _ **What?"**_

 **But I know what she said. Poison. Five minutes. I shouldn't be surprised; this is Jeanine's work, just as empty of conscience as she is. My body shudders, and I wonder if that is the poison, if the poison is already shutting down my brain.**

Zeke starts waving his "X" shirt around again. "Put it away," I demand. Zeke just laughs and puts it to the side of him.

 **Focus. I can't get out; I have to move forward, or ...**

 **Or nothing. I have to move forward.**

 **I start toward the door, and someone appears in my path. She is short, thin, and blond, with dark circles under her eyes. She is me.**

 **A reflection? I wave at her to see if she will mirror me. She doesn't.**

"You have to fight yourself," Eric says. "That's pretty brilliant thinking."

"Only you would say that," Lynn tells him.

" **Hello," I say. She doesn't answer. I didn't really think she would.**

 **What is this? I swallow hard to pop my ears, which feel like they are stuffed with cotton. If Jeanine designed this, it is probably a test of intelligence or logic, which means I will have to think clearly, which means I will have to calm down. I clasp my hands over my chest and press down, hoping the pressure will make me feel safe, like an embrace.**

"As if anything could make you feel safe right now," Christina says.

"I suppose I had to try something," Tris defends.

 **It doesn't.**

 **I step to the right to get a better angle on the door, and my double hops to the side, her shoes scraping the dirt, to block my way again.**

 **I think I know what will happen if I start toward the door, but I have to try. I break into a run, intending to swerve around her, but she is ready for me: she grabs my wounded shoulder and wrenches me to the side. I scream so loud it scrapes my throat; I feel like knives are stabbing deeper and deeper into my right side. As I begin to sink to my knees, she kicks me in the stomach and I sprawl across the floor, inhaling dust.**

"How does this sim know all this?" I ask.

"What do you mean?" Eric asks.

"Well, Jeanine couldn't have put all these variables into the computer about people. Especially when she had thought she had killed Tris. Plus, she wouldn't know who would try and get into her lab. So, how does Tris sim know where she is injured?"

"I might hate Jeanine," Tori states. "But this is pretty ingenious."

"That's what I was thinking," I say. Eric and Will both nodding in agreement.

"Is this just nerd central right now?" Lynn groans. "Like, can we please just keep reading."

"This doesn't fascinate you at all?" I ask.

"No," Lynn says defiantly.

 **That, I realize as I clutch my stomach, is exactly what I would have done if I had been in her position. Which means that in order to defeat her, I have to think of a way to defeat myself. And how can I be a better fighter than myself, if she knows the same strategies I know, and is exactly as resourceful and clever as I am?**

"But what is it that you want that she doesn't?" Eric asks Tris.

Tris sits and thinks for a minute. "I want to get through the door."

"Exactly, sim you only wants to stop you."

 **She starts toward me again, so I scramble to my feet and try to put aside the pain in my shoulder. My heart beats faster. I want to punch her, but she gets there first. I duck at the last second, and her fist hits my ear, knocking me off balance.**

 **I back up a few steps, hoping that she won't pursue me, but she does. She comes at me again, this time seizing my shoulders and pulling me down, toward her bent knee.**

 **I put my hands up, between my stomach and her knee, and push as hard as I can. She was not expecting that; she stumbles back, but doesn't fall.**

 **I run at her, and as the desire to kick her slips into my mind, I realize that it is also** _ **her**_ **desire. I twist away from her foot.**

"This could be a great fighting tool for initiation," Eric says.

"I would love to see someone like Peter try and get through something like this," I say.

"It would definitely weed out the weak," Eric says with a sly smile.

"Maybe you can ask Jeanine about it when we get out of here," I say.

"Maybe," Eric answers. Not really taking the bait. He is too deep in thought about the sim.

 **The second I want something, she also wants it. She and I can only be, at best, at a standstill—but I need to** _ **beat**_ **her to get through the door. To survive.**

 **I try to think it through, but she is coming at me again, her forehead tightened into a scowl of concentration. She grabs my arm, and I grab hers, so that we are clutched forearm to forearm.**

 **At the same time, we yank our elbows back and thrust them forward. I lean in at the last second, and my elbow smashes into her teeth.**

 **Both of us cry out. Blood spills over her lip, and runs down my forearm. She grits her teeth and yells, diving at me, stronger than I anticipated.**

"But then you would have to find a way for them not to give up," I say. Thinking of Christina.

"I'm sure we can find a way," Eric says. "What do you think Christina? Do you think hanging over the chasm would stop them from giving up?"

Christina just glares at Eric.

 **Her weight knocks me down. She pins me to the floor with her knees and tries to punch my face, but I cross my arms in front of me. Her fists hit my arms instead, each one like a stone striking my skin.**

 **With a heavy exhale, I grab at one of her wrists, and I notice that spots are dancing at the corners of my eyes.** _ **Poison.**_

 _ **Focus.**_

"I wonder what poison she has used?" Tori asks.

 **As she struggles to free herself, I bring my knee up to my chest. Then I push her back, grunting with effort, until I can press my foot to her stomach. I kick her, my face boiling hot.**

 **The logical puzzle: In a fight between two perfect equals, how can one win?**

 **The answer: One can't.**

 **She pushes herself to her feet and wipes the blood from her lip.**

 **Therefore: we must not be perfectly equal. So what is different about us?**

 **She walks toward me again, but I need more time to think, so for every step she takes forward, I take back. The room sways, and then twists, and I lurch to the side, brushing my fingertips on the ground to steady myself.**

 **What is different about us? We have the same mass, skill level, patterns of thinking ...**

 **I see the door over her shoulder, and I realize: We have different goals. I have to get through that door. She has to protect it. But even in a simulation, there is no way she is as desperate as I am.**

"Finally," Eric huffs.

"It's probably only been a couple of minutes, if that, _Eric_ ," Tris defends.

"Probably, but still, it only took you a few seconds here to work it out," he says.

"It's a lot easier to think clearly in here than it would be having your twin attacking you in a room full of poison," Tris says.

 **I sprint toward the edge of the circle, where there is a table. A moment ago, it was empty, but I know the rules of simulations and how to control them. A gun appears on it as soon as I think it.**

"That is insane. Can we do that in the fear landscape?" Will asks. "Would it work in the fear simulations too? Or is it just that Tris is Divergent? Because if we could think it then that would be such an advantage."

"I think it depends on whether you can manipulate the sim," Eric says.

"Are you telling me you know how to manipulate the sim?" I ask him.

"I'm not saying that. I just think that people could be aware but not able to manipulate the sim or they could even manipulate without being aware. Remember that girl last year? I think her name was Allie or Alex or something," Eric asks.

"Yeah. What about her?" I answer.

"She wasn't aware during her fear simulations but when she became really frightened she would manipulate the sim," Eric explains.

"How do you know she's not Divergent?" I ask. Thinking I already know the answer.

"Jeanine. Don't look at me like that Four. She didn't do anything to harm her. We looked at her test results from the aptitude test and Jeanine also ran a few sims on her at Erudite. With her full consent. It turned out that she had this anomaly, she could manipulate her sims when she was at the peak of her fears."

"So, that would mean that the way you have been looking for Divergent's is all wrong," I say.

"Not entirely," Max answers. "This is a starting point."

"What difference does any of this matter?" Lynn asks. "You are going to kill whoever you can anyway."

"Can we just read, please?" Tris asks. "I really want to get this over with."

 **I slam into the table, the spots crowding my view of it. I don't even feel pain when I collide with it. I feel my heartbeat in my face, like my heart has detached from its moorings in my chest and begun to migrate to my brain.**

 **Across the room, a gun appears on the ground before my double. We both reach for our weapons.**

 **I feel the weight of the gun, and its smoothness, and I forget about her; I forget about the poison; I forget about everything.**

 **My throat constricts, and I feel like there is a hand around it, tightening. My head throbs from the sudden loss of air, and I feel my heartbeat everywhere, everywhere.**

 **Across the room, it's no longer my double who stands between me and my goal; it's Will.** _ **No, no**_ **. It can't be Will. I force myself to breathe in. The poison is cutting off oxygen to my brain. He is just a hallucination within a simulation. I exhale in a sob.**

"This is insanely clever," Will comments.

 **For a moment I see my double again, holding the gun but visibly shuddering, the weapon as far out from her body as she can possibly hold it. She is as weak as I am. No, not as weak, because she is not going blind and losing air, but almost as weak, almost.**

 **Then Will is back, his eyes simulation-dead, his hair a yellow halo around his head. Brick buildings loom from each side, but behind him is the door, the door that separates me from my father and brother.**

 **No, no, it is the door that separates me from Jeanine and my goal.**

 **I have to get through that door. I** _ **have to**_ **.**

"No one had a chance during initiation," Marlene says. We all look at her a little confused. "The determination Tris has, we didn't have a chance of beating her."

"She only did well because she was divergent," Christina scoffs.

"No, I think you are wrong," Marlene says. "No one thought she would get through stage one but she was so determined and she did it. Look at everything that she has done since initiation, none of us have done half the things that she has."

"But we could of, if we had been Divergent then we could have stopped what was happening," Christina defends.

"I don't think so," Eric says. "Christina you don't have the same determination that Tris does. You are happy to go along for the ride but you don't have what she has."

"You're just saying that because you want her to think you like her," Christina snaps. "Then when we leave here you are just going to kill her."

"Christina," Max warns.

"Oh please!" Christina starts on Max. "Why are we all hiding what we truly think of each other. We all know that sides have been crossed. We all know that we are going to do whatever we can to stay alive once we leave this place."

"Well, it looks like you really haven't forgotten your roots, doesn't Christina?" Eric says in a dangerously quiet voice.

"Enough!" Max snaps. "I am going to continue to read and you are going to stop all this bitchiness right now."

The room goes silent. I know I have a lot of questions swarming around in my head and you can feel a lot of other people do too. Christina has let her Candor show. It looks as though Eric's double cross is working. I hope it is, he better _not_ be still working with Max.

 **I lift the gun, though it hurts my shoulder to do it, and wrap one hand around the other to steady it. "I ..." I choke, and tears smear my cheeks, run into my mouth. I taste salt. "I'm sorry."**

 **And I do the one thing my double is unable to do, because she is not desperate enough:**

 **I fire.**

"Chapter over," Max says. "I think it would be a good idea if you all take a ten-minute break." With that he gets up and walks out of the room.


	46. Chapter 46

CHAPTER FORTY-SIX

FOUR'S POV

After Max left the room we all sat there in silence for a couple of minutes. I got out of my seat and went over to the kitchen to get a drink.

"What the fuck was that?" Zeke asks me as I pour us both a drink.

"I don't know. But I think it shows that Christina has crossed over to Max's side," I answer.

"Do you think anyone else is going to cross over sides?"

Do I tell Zeke that there is still a question mark surrounding Shauna? What if there isn't? Will it cause tension if I do? Of course it will, you idiot.

"I don't know," I answer. "Do you think there is anyone else?"

"I'm starting to wonder about Lynn, she is spending a lot of time with Eric. I know Shauna is concerned."

"Lynn would never turn," I say. She might start dating him but she wouldn't cross to the other side. I can't tell him that it is the other way round and that Eric is going to help us. I can't let him know because if he tells Shauna then we could be putting his life in even more danger.

"I hope you are right, buddy," Zeke says. "We should have another water pistol fight soon. Everyone is so tense. It would be good to have a bit of down time."

"Maybe when we finish this book we could just spend a few days doing other things, not that there is much to do in this place."

"At least we know we are all safe, at least while we are in here."

I nod my head. We head back out to the group as everyone is starting to sit back down.

"You okay?" Tris asks.

"Yeah, I'll tell you about it later," I say. I don't want to talk about what Zeke and I talked about within ear shot of anyone else. Especially when Tris and I would be saying a whole lot more than what Zeke and I talked about.

"Is everyone ready?" Max asks as he looks around the room. "Now try to stay focused on the story, then we can get through this quicker."

"You just want to go to bed, grandpa," Uriah jokes.

"Watch it Uriah, I'm still young enough to take you," Max jokes back.

"I'll meet you in the training room in the morning then," Uriah banters back.

"Eight o'clock okay with you?" Max asks.

"I'll be there," Uriah answers.

 **CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE**

 **I don't see him die again.**

 **I close my eyes at the moment the trigger presses back, and when I open them, it is the other Tris who lies on the ground between the dark patches in my vision; it is me.**

"This is more trippy than the peace serum," Zeke say with a laugh.

"I think I'll stick to peace serum," Tris mumbles and everyone has a laugh.

 **I drop the gun and sprint toward the door, almost tripping over her. I throw my body against the door, twist the handle, and fall through. My hands numb, I press it closed behind me, and shake them to regain feeling.**

 **The next room is twice as big as the first one, and it, too, is blue-lit, but paler. A large table stands in the middle, and taped to the walls are photographs, diagrams, and lists.**

 **I take deep breaths, and my vision begins to clear, my heart rate returning to normal. Among the photographs on the walls, I recognize my own face, and Tobias's, and Marcus's, and Uriah's. A long list of what appear to be chemicals is posted on the wall beside our pictures. Each one is crossed out with red marker. This must be where Jeanine develops the simulation serums.**

"I wonder how many photo's she has on that wall?" Uriah asks.

"I wonder how many photos have been taken down off the wall because she has killed them?" I reply.

"She has been doing this for a long time, it's probably a lot," Tris says.

My thoughts go to Amar, was his picture up there once? And then I look across the room and see the pain in Tori's eyes. Her brother was probably there too. How many of the other unexplained deaths in Dauntless have been on that wall over the years? Do the other factions have the same problem? What happens to the Divergent's in Erudite? Does she kill them or experiment on them?

 **I hear voices somewhere ahead of me, and scold myself.** _ **What are you doing? Hurry!**_

" **My brother's name," I hear. "I want to hear you say it."**

 **Tori's voice.**

 **How did she get through that simulation? Is she Divergent too?**

"Well, well, well," Eric sneers at Tori. "Have something to tell us?"

"I have nothing to tell you Eric," Tori smoothly says.

"Are you sure?" He asks.

"Positive."

" **I didn't kill him." Jeanine's voice.**

" **Do you think that exonerates you? Do you think that means you don't deserve to die?"**

 **Tori is not screaming, but wailing, the whole of her grief escaping through her mouth. I start toward the door. Too quickly, though, because my hip slams into the corner of the table in the middle of the room, and I have to stop, wincing.**

" **The reasons for my actions are beyond your understanding," Jeanine says. "I was willing to make a sacrifice for the greater good, something you have never understood, not even when we were classmates!"**

"You were classmates with Jeanine?" I ask.

"Yes. Tris' dad too," Tori says.

"You know my dad?" Tris asks.

"I do."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" Tris asks.

"It didn't seem important," Tori replies.

"Didn't seem important?" Tris asks, her voice sounds thick, tight.

"You can discuss this later," Max says and starts to read.

 **I limp toward the door, which is a pane of frosted glass. It slides back to admit me, and I see Jeanine, pressed against a wall, with Tori standing a few feet away, her gun high.**

 **Behind them is a glass table with a silver box on it—a computer—and a keyboard. The entire far wall is covered with a computer screen.**

 **Jeanine stares at me, but Tori doesn't move an inch; doesn't seem to hear me. Her face is red and tear-streaked, her hand shaking.**

 **I have no confidence that I can find the video file on my own. If Jeanine is here, I can get her to find it for me, but if she's dead ...**

" **No!" I scream. "Tori, don't!"**

 **But her finger is already over the trigger. I launch myself at her as hard as I can, my arms slamming into her side. The gun goes off, and I hear a scream.**

 **My head hits the tile. I ignore the stars in my eyes and throw myself across Tori. I shove the gun forward and it slides away from us.**

"Do you ever think when you are putting yourself in these situations?" Lynn asks.

"What?" Tris asks.

"Why didn't you grab the gun?" Lynn asks.

Max starts to chuckle. We all look at him. "It's the next line."

 _ **Why didn't you grab it, you idiot?!**_

Everyone can now see what Max was laughing at and there are a few chuckles around the room.

 **Tori's fist connects with the side of my throat. I choke, and she uses the opportunity to throw me off, to crawl toward the gun.**

 **Jeanine is slumped against the wall, blood soaking her leg.** _ **Leg**_ **! I remember, and punch Tori hard near the bullet wound in her thigh. She yells, and I find my feet.**

 **I step toward the fallen weapon, but Tori is too quick. She wraps her arms around my legs and pulls them out from under me. My knees slam into the ground, but I am still above her; I punch down, at her rib cage.**

"Shit Tori," Zeke exclaims. "I didn't realise you were still this agile."

"What do you mean by agile?" Tori sounds offended.

"I mean, well, you sit all day in the tattoo parlour," Zeke sounds like he is trying to make it sound better than his question did.

"And I can probably still shoot a gun more accurately than you do," Tori states. "Just because I am sitting all day doesn't mean I don't stay fit. What about you Zeke? You are sitting in the control room all day."

Max starts to read again.

 **She groans, but it doesn't stop her; as I drag myself toward the gun, she sinks her teeth into my hand. It is a different pain than any blow I've ever received, different even from a bullet wound. I scream louder than I thought possible, tears blurring my vision.**

"This is the bitch fight from hell," Zeke exclaims, bouncing in his seat. "I love it!"

 **I have not come this far to let Tori shoot Jeanine before I've gotten what I need.**

 **I yank my hand from between her teeth, my vision going black at the edges, and with a lurch, smack my hand around the handle of the gun. I twist, and point it at Tori.**

 **My hand. My hand is covered in blood, and so is Tori's chin. I hide my hand from view so that it's easier to ignore the pain and get up, still pointing the gun at her.**

" **I didn't take you for a traitor, Tris," she says, and it sounds like a snarl, not a sound any human can make.**

" **I'm not," I say. I blink the tears down my cheeks so that I can see her better. "I can't explain it right now, but ... all I'm asking is for you to trust me, please. There's something important, something only she knows the location of—"**

"I don't think that will work on Tori," Christina says.

"It might if she wasn't after revenge," Tris replies.

"I think you might be right Tris," Tori says with a small smile.

" **That's right!" says Jeanine. "It is on that computer, Beatrice, and only I can locate it. If you don't help me survive this, it will die with me."**

" **She is a liar," says Tori. "A liar, and if you believe her, you are both an idiot and a traitor, Tris!"**

" **I do believe her," I say. "I believe her because it makes perfect sense! The most sensitive information that exists and it's hidden on** _ **that computer**_ **, Tori!" I take a deep breath, and lower my voice. "Please listen to me. I hate her as much as you do. I have no reason to defend her. I'm telling you the truth. This is important."**

 **Tori is silent. I think, for a moment, that I've won, that I've persuaded her. But then she says, "Nothing is more important than her death."**

" **If that's what you insist upon believing," I say, "I can't help you. But I'm also not going to let you kill her." Tori pushes herself to her knees, and wipes my blood from her chin. She looks up into my eyes.**

" **I am a Dauntless leader," she says. "You don't get to decide what I do."**

 **And before I can think—**

 **Before I can even think about firing the gun I'm holding—**

 **She draws a long knife from the side of her boot, lunges, and stabs Jeanine in the stomach.**

"Oh yeah!" Zeke shouts and raises his hands in the air.

 **I yell. Jeanine releases a horrible sound—a gurgling, screaming, dying sound. I see Tori's gritted teeth, I hear her murmur her brother's name—"George Wu"—and then I watch the knife go in again.**

 **And Jeanine's eyes turn into glass.**

Tris gets up and walks over to Tori and gives her a hug. Tori has tears streaming down her face. I can't hear what they are saying but I do see Tori give Tris a small smile as Tris wipes the tears from Tori's face. Not really worth doing because the tears are falling so fast.

"That was the end of the chapter," Max says as he closes the book. He gets up to leave and just as he is about to put his foot on the first step he turns to Uriah and says, "Eight O'clock Uriah, don't be late."

 **MEANWHILE BACK IN THE FACTIONS**

Harrison went running into the tattoo parlour, panic clearly written all over his face. He found Bud at the back of the parlour. Finally having a break after another gruelling day of tattooing the Dauntless members. He was starting to curse ever putting Tori in that apartment with the others. There was too much work without her here to help.

"Bud," Harrison called out over the loud music that was always pumping from the speakers in here.

"Harrison," Bud replied.

"We have to move them," Harrison whisper shouts trying not to be heard by anyone other than Bud. "The teams are moving through the city quicker than we thought they would. They will reach them within the next three days."

"Did you talk to Johanna?"

"Yes. She has everything set up for them."

"Has she read the books yet?"

"Yes. Our messages have had to be coded, so I don't know how she feels about what she has read but I have to take a trip to Amity the day after tomorrow, I will try to talk to her then."

"We better move them tomorrow then."

"I will get everything prepared," Harrison says and then quickly leaves the parlour, while Bud gets up ready to start on the many customers waiting.


	47. Chapter 47

CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN

FOUR'S POV

"What's that noise?" Tris mumbles still half asleep.

"Sounds like Max and Uriah having a cheering squad for their fight," I say.

"I thought they were joking."

"Dauntless don't joke when it comes to a fight, Tris."

"Couldn't they have started the fight later then," Tris grumbles.

"Go back to sleep, I'm sure we will get a blow by blow account for the next week."

"Who do you think will win?"

"It's hard to say. If Uriah concentrates, then I would think he would but Max isn't the leader of Dauntless for nothing."

"Should we be watching?"

"Maybe. They will just think we have been up here having sex."

"Why would they think that?"

"Because we are from Abnegation."

"You aren't making any sense Tobias."

"Because we aren't telling them every detail of our lives, they will think that we will stay up here and have sex because then no one would hear us if they are all downstairs."

"They really think that?"

"If you listen to Zeke, then yes that is what they think."

"I can't believe they talk about that stuff so openly."

"Wait until you have been living in Dauntless a while. It is all they ever talk about."

"Did you find it hard to listen too?"

"Sometimes, but mostly it has been educational."

"Educational?"

"Well, it's not like they teach any of that stuff in Abnegation. It wasn't like Marcus would even let me leave the house, other than to go to school. So, it has been educational because I have learnt a lot listening to Zeke and our friends talk."

"Marlene likes to chat, a lot. Christina and Shauna as well."

"You find it hard to listen too?"

"I don't mind listening, as you say it's educational. I just don't like talking about us, to anyone. I feel like it should be private. I don't feel comfortable talking the way they do. Lynn is good to talk to, she doesn't go into specifics."

"Specifics?"

"Specifics, you know like . . . this is so embarrassing . . . things like size."

"Size? They want to know how big, um, oh."

"Yes, Tobias they do, it's embarrassing. I don't want to talk about those types of things. I don't want them to know."

"I thought guys were dirty but really, they go into that much detail?"

"You have no idea."

"I can see why you find it uncomfortable, guys just talk about what certain girls are willing to do to them or what they did to a girl, they don't go into much detail at all."

"I just find it hard to listen to sometimes. Plus, it is really hard to try and sit and talk to one of their boyfriends when they have been sharing intimate details about them."

"I get that. Zeke doesn't do it now but when he first started dating Shauna, before it got serious he was always trying to tell me stuff. I ended up having to tell him not to because Shauna was my friend to and I didn't want to know."

"You two better be decent," Zeke shouts from the other side of the door. He then bursts through the door.

"Speak of the devil," I say and Tris snickers.

"Are you any good at setting bones?" Zeke asks.

"What?" I exclaim.

"I think Uri might have broken Max's hand," Zeke tells us.

"How did he do that?" Tris asks.

"By hitting his hard head into it a couple of dozen times," Zeke laughs.

"Shouldn't you be asking Eric to do this?" I ask.

"Yeah, I did but he hasn't actually set a bone but he remembered you helping that initiate last year. Thought you might be better for the job."

"Great. I will get dressed and come down."

* * *

"It's not broken Max," I tell him for the fifth time.

"You're not a doctor Four, how do you know?" he asks, for the fifth time.

"What did Eric tell you?" I ask.

"He told me to ask you," Max replies.

"Yeah after you wouldn't listen to him," I say frustrated.

"Well he isn't a doctor either."

"What do you want me to do?" I ask.

"I don't know, it hurts like hell."

"Take some healing serum and keep icing it," I tell him, this is for the third time. Max is acting like a baby.

"Fine," he grumbles and walks off.

I look at Eric and he just huffs and puts his hands in the air. He had been trying to deal with Max before I got down here. It seems that Danni has a sensitive side and whenever Max has an injury she babies him, who knew? I didn't think Danni knew how to be sensitive.

"Are we going to finish this book today?" Uriah asks, nursing an ice pack on his cheek.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"There are only two chapters left," Will replies.

"Why don't we finish them now. Then we can have the rest of the day to ourselves," I say.

"I agree," Eric says. "I will go and find everyone so we can get this over with."

* * *

"Who wants to read?" I ask.

"I can't," Max grumbles. "My hands too sore."

"You are such a fucking baby," Eric states.

"Screw you," Max retorts.

"I will," Christina says.

"But what if you are about to die? You did just get shot," Lynn asks.

"Well then, I'll be the first to know," Christina says with a smile on her face.

"Let's get this over with," I say as I sit down next to Tris.

 **CHAPTER FORTY-SIX**

 **Tori stands, a wild look in her eyes, and turns toward me.**

 **I feel numb.**

 **All the risks I took to get here—conspiring with Marcus, asking the Erudite for help, crawling across a ladder three stories up, shooting myself in a simulation—and all the sacrifices I made—my relationship with Tobias, Fernando's life, my standing among the Dauntless—were for nothing.**

 **Nothing.**

"Well, Tris' day is starting out great," Zeke laughs as he holds his thumbs up at her.

Zeke starts to laugh at her more. "The glare thing won't work on me Tris, just ask Four."

"It's true," I say. "For some reason, he is immune."

 **A moment later, the glass door opens again. Tobias and Uriah storm in as if to fight a battle—Uriah coughing, probably from the poison—but the battle is done. Jeanine is dead, Tori is triumphant, and I am a Dauntless traitor.**

"I wonder what went after you two?" Eric asks. "Would you have to fight yourselves because you would think it would be easier with two of you."

"How do you come to that conclusion?" I ask.

"You would be able to take one out and then the other or fight each other's double. I'm sure it would be easier to fight Uriah's double rather than your own."

"Would depend if his head is as hard as this ones," I say.

"Hey, that's not funny," Uriah says wincing while the rest of the room is laughing.

 **Tobias stops in the middle of a step, almost stumbling over his feet, when he sees me. His eyes open wider.**

" **She is a traitor," says Tori. "She just almost shot me to defend Jeanine."**

" **What?" says Uriah. "Tris, what's going on? Is she right? Why are you even here?"**

 **But I look only at Tobias. A sliver of hope pierces me, strangely painful, when combined with the guilt I feel for how I deceived him. Tobias is stubborn and proud, but he is mine—maybe he will listen, maybe there's a chance that all I did was not in vain—**

" **You know why I'm here," I say quietly. "Don't you?"**

 **I hold out Tori's gun. He walks forward, a little unsteady on his feet, and takes it.**

" **We found Marcus in the next room, caught in a simulation," Tobias says. "You came up here with him."**

"Should have left Marcus in the simulation," Tris says.

" **Yes, I did," I say, blood from Tori's bite trickling down my arm.**

" **I trusted you," he says, his body shaking with rage. "I** _ **trusted you**_ **and you abandoned me to work with** _ **him**_ **?"**

"Finally," Zeke sighs.

"What?" I ask.

"I've been waiting days for this," Zeke replies.

"You have the strangest way of thinking," Shauna tells him.

"I don't want to see them fighting but you can't tell me that this isn't interesting. I think that Tris is the only girl that could understand him because she is just as bad at this whole relationship thing as he is."

"Where not bad at it," I try to defend.

Zeke just starts laughing at us.

"You can't tell us you think you are good at this?" Shauna says.

"Please," I scoff. "How long did you long for Zeke before he finally woke up."

"That's different," Shauna defends.

"How?" Tris asks.

"Fine," Shauna huffs.

"As much as I love hearing about how ridiculous you all are at relationships," Lynn interrupts. "Do you think we could get back to the book?"

"Says, little Miss single," Shauna grumbles. _If only she knew._

" **No." I shake my head. "He told me something, and everything my brother said, everything Jeanine said while I was in Erudite headquarters, fit perfectly with what he told me. And I wanted—I** _ **needed**_ **to know the truth."**

" **The truth." He snorts. "You think you learned the truth from a liar, a traitor, and a sociopath?"**

"Yeah she does," Eric chuckles. "Just because people aren't good doesn't mean they are lying."

" **The truth?" says Tori. "What are you talking about?"**

 **Tobias and I stare at each other. His blue eyes, usually so thoughtful, are now hard and critical, like they are peeling back layer after layer of me and searching each one.**

" **I think," I say. I have to pause and take a breath, because I have not convinced him; I have failed, and this is probably the last thing they will let me say before they arrest me.**

" **I think that you are the liar!" I say, my voice quaking.**

"Holy shit!" Zeke exclaims. "Wasn't expecting that."

"Shh!" Everyone says at him.

Zeke pretends to zip his lips and then sits up straighter in his seat. You can see he is trying not to laugh.

" **I think that you are the liar!" I say, my voice quaking. "You tell me you love me, you trust me, you think I'm more perceptive than the average person. And the first second that belief in my perceptiveness, that trust, that love is put to the test, it all falls apart." I am crying now, but I am not ashamed of the tears shining on my cheeks or the thickness of my voice. "So you must have lied when you told me all those things ... you must have, because I can't believe your love is really that feeble."**

 **I step closer to him, so that there are only inches between us, and none of the others can hear me.**

" **I am still the person who would have died rather than kill you," I say, remembering the attack simulation and the feel of his heartbeat under my hand. "I am exactly who you think I am. And right now, I'm telling you that I know ... I** _ **know**_ **this information will change everything. Everything we have done, and everything we are about to do."**

 **I stare at him like I can communicate the truth with my eyes, but that is impossible. He looks away, and I'm not sure he even heard what I said.**

" **Enough of this," says Tori. "Take her downstairs. She will be tried along with all the other war criminals."**

"Tris is going to get shot in the head," Eric gleams.

"Great," Tris mumbles. "Just what I always wanted, to go out the same way as Eric."

I can't help but to laugh at this. It seems most everyone in the room thinks the same way.

"Do you think you'll be able to pull the trigger, _Tobias_?" Eric asks.

I don't respond, he wants me to take the bait. I need to try to stay calm. Thankfully Tris is next to me and she puts her hand in mine, helping me to calm down.

"Thanks," I whisper.

 **Tobias doesn't move. Uriah takes my arm and leads me away from him, through the laboratory, through the room of light, through the blue hallway. Therese of the factionless joins us there, eyeing me curiously.**

 **Once we're in the stairwell, I feel something nudge my side. When I look back, I see a wad of gauze in Uriah's hand. I take it, trying to give him a grateful smile and failing.**

 **As we descend the stairs, I wrap the gauze tightly around my hand, sidestepping bodies without looking at their faces. Uriah takes my elbow to keep me from falling. The gauze wrapping doesn't help with the pain of the bite, but it makes me feel a little better, and so does the fact that Uriah, at least, doesn't seem to hate me.**

"Uriah couldn't hate anybody, it's not in his nature," Marlene says.

"I think there is a few people on that list, Marlene," Uriah says.

"Yeah but not Tris. Jeanine and the traitors don't count as real people," Marlene tells him.

 **For the first time the Dauntless's disregard for age does not seem like an opportunity. It seems like the thing that will condemn me. They will not say,** _ **But she's young; she must have been confused.**_ **They will say,** _ **She is an adult, and she made her choice.**_

 **Of course, I agree with them. I did make my choice. I chose my mother and father, and what they fought for.**

"That's a page break," Christina tells us.

 **Walking down the stairs is easier than going up. We reach the fifth level before I realize that we're going down to the lobby.**

" **Give me your gun, Uriah," says Therese. "Someone needs to be able to shoot potential belligerents, and you can't do it if you're keeping her from falling down the stairs."**

 **Uriah surrenders his gun without question. I frown—Therese already has a gun, so why did it matter for him to give his? But I don't ask. I am in enough trouble as it is.**

"I think you should have asked Tris," Lynn says. "This does not seem good."

"The factionless are double crossing the Dauntless," Tori says. "That bitch!"

"And we thought Marcus was bad," Will states.

"If you look at it, Marcus and Evelyn really do make the perfect couple," Lynn says.

"So, how did Four turn out so normal?" Zeke asks.

"You call him normal?" Eric asks, trying not to laugh.

I just throw pillows at both of them.

 **We reach the bottom floor and walk past a large meeting room full of people dressed in black and white. I pause for a moment to watch them. Some of them are huddled in small groups, leaning on one another, tears streaking their faces. Others are alone, leaning against walls or sitting in corners, their eyes hollow or staring at something that is far away.**

" **We had to shoot so many," Uriah mutters, squeezing my arm. "Just to get into the building, we had to."**

" **I know," I say.**

 **I see Christina's sister and mother clutched together on the right side of the room.**

"Thank goodness they are alright," Christina says. "Sorry, that wasn't in the book. I'm just relieved they are okay."

 **And on the left side, a young man with dark hair that gleams in the fluorescent light—Peter. His hand is on the shoulder of a middle-aged woman I recognize as his mother.**

" **What is he doing here?" I say.**

" **Little coward came in the aftermath, after all the work was done," Uriah says. "I heard his dad's dead. Looks like his mother's okay, though."**

"Finally," Max says. "What? The little shit has got away with playing everyone, finally he has something bad happen to him."

"How did he even get there so fast? He was going to stay and hide in Abnegation," I say.

"He would have followed and stayed in the shadows, like he always does," Lynn comments.

 **Peter looks over his shoulder, and his gaze meets mine, just for a second. In that second I try to summon some pity for the person who saved my life. But while the hatred I once had for him is gone, I still feel nothing.**

" **What's the holdup?" demands Therese. "Let's get going."**

 **We walk past the meeting room to the main lobby, where I once embraced Caleb. The giant portrait of Jeanine is in pieces on the floor. The smoke that hovers in the air is condensed around the bookshelves, which are burned to cinders. All the computers are in pieces, strewn across the floor.**

 **Sitting in rows in the center of the room are some of the Erudite who didn't get away, and the Dauntless traitors who survived. I search the faces for anything familiar. I find Caleb near the back, looking dazed. I look away.**

" **Tris!" I hear. Christina sits near the front, next to Cara, her leg wrapped tightly with fabric. She beckons to me, and I sit down next to her.**

"See, I'm not dead," Christina cheers.

" **No success?" she says quietly.**

 **I shake my head.**

 **She sighs, and puts her arm around me. The gesture is so comforting I almost start to cry. But Christina and I are not people who cry together; we're people who fight together. So I hold my tears in.**

" **I saw your mom and your sister in the next room," I say.**

" **Yeah, me too," she says. "My family is okay."**

" **Good," I say. "How's your leg?"**

" **Fine. Cara said it'll be fine; it's not bleeding too much. One of the Erudite nurses stuffed some pain meds and antiseptic and gauze into her pockets before they took her down here, so it doesn't hurt too bad either," she says. Beside her, Cara is examining another Erudite's arm. "Where's Marcus?"**

" **Dunno," I say. "We had to split up. He should be down here. Unless they killed him or something."**

" **I wouldn't be that surprised, honestly," she says.**

"Is that what Tori and Four are doing now? Killing Marcus," Lynn asks.

"I doubt it," Eric says. I'm not going to ask why. I know why, he doesn't think I could do it. He is probably right.

 **The room is chaotic for a while—people rushing in and rushing out again, our factionless guards trading places, new people in Erudite blue brought to sit among us—but gradually everything gets quieter, and then I see him: Tobias, walking through the stairwell door.**

 **I bite my lip, hard, and try not to think, try not to dwell on the cold feeling that surrounds my chest and the weight that hangs over my head. He hates me. He does not believe me.**

 **Christina clutches me tighter as he walks past us, without even looking at me. I watch him over my shoulder. He stops next to Caleb, grabs his arm, and wrenches him to his feet. Caleb wriggles for a second, but he is not half as strong as Tobias and can't break away.**

" **What?" Caleb says, panicking. "What do you want?"**

" **I want you to disarm the security system for Jeanine's laboratory," says Tobias without looking back. "So that the factionless can access her computer."**

 _ **And destroy it**_ **, I think, and if possible, my heart becomes even heavier. Tobias and Caleb disappear into the stairwell again.**

"He does believe you," Marlene exclaims.

"I doubt it," Tris mumbles.

"You really think I wouldn't believe what you said?"

"You haven't so far. Why would you change now?"

"Maybe, because you are right."

"It's easy to see that sitting here Tobias. But there, with everything going on. You haven't wanted to listen before now."

 **Christina slumps against me, and I slump against her, so we hold each other up.**

" **Jeanine activated all the Dauntless transmitters, you know," Christina says. "One of the factionless groups got ambushed by simulation-controlled Dauntless, coming late from the Abnegation sector about ten minutes ago. I guess the factionless won, though I don't know how you call shooting a bunch of brain-dead people winning."**

" **Yeah." There isn't much more to say. She seems to realize that.**

"I can't believe she has done that," Shauna shrieks. "Where's Lynn?"

"I'm here," Lynn says.

"Don't be smart," Shauna says, worry evident in her voice.

"I'll be fine Shauna," Lynn says, but she doesn't sound as confident as she usually does.

" **What happened after I got shot?" she says.**

 **I describe the blue hallway with two doors, and the simulation that followed, from the moment I recognized the Dauntless training room to the moment I shot myself. I do not tell her about hallucinating Will.**

" **Wait," she says. "It was a simulation? Without a transmitter?"**

 **I frown. I hadn't bothered to wonder about that. Especially not at the time. "If the laboratory recognizes people, maybe it also knows data about everyone, and can present a corresponding simulated environment depending on your faction."**

 **It doesn't matter, now, to figure out how Jeanine set up the security on her laboratory, of all things. But it feels good to put myself to some use, to think of a new problem to solve now that I have failed to solve the most important one.**

 **Christina sits up straighter. Maybe she feels the same way.**

" **Or the poison somehow contains a transmitter."**

 **I hadn't thought of that.**

" **But how did Tori get past it? She's not Divergent."**

 **I tilt my head. "I don't know."**

 _ **Maybe she is**_ **, I think. Her brother was, and after what happened to him, she might never admit it, no matter how accepted it becomes.**

"Tori?" Shauna questions.

"What?" Tori answers, you can tell she is being evasive.

"Are you divergent?" Shauna almost spits out.

"If I was, it wouldn't be anyone else's business," Tori states.

"This makes us all have to question whether you are," Max says.

"And I'm going to say no, even if it is no one else's business," Tori replies.

"I don't believe you," Eric states.

"I don't care. If I tell you I am then I have put a bigger target on my back. If I say no, then I am just telling the truth," Tori says.

"I still don't believe you," Eric mutters more to himself.

 **People, I have discovered, are layers and layers of secrets. You believe you know them, that you understand them, but their motives are always hidden from you, buried in their own hearts. You will never know them, but sometimes you decide to trust them.**

" **What do you think they're going to do to us when they find us guilty?" she says after a few minutes of silence have passed.**

" **Honestly?"**

" **Does now seem like the time for honesty?"**

 **I look at her from the corner of my eye. "I think they're going to force us to eat lots of cake and then take an unreasonably long nap."**

 **She laughs. I try not to—if I let myself laugh, I'll start to cry, too.**

"The long nap doesn't seem to be unreasonable," Lynn says. "Just it would be a nap you don't wake up from."

"Thanks Lynn," Tris says.

"That's a page break," Christina announces.

 **I hear a yell, and peer around the crowd to see where it came from.**

" **Lynn!" The yell came from Uriah. He runs toward the door, where two Dauntless are carrying Lynn in on a makeshift stretcher, made of what looks like a shelf from a bookcase. She is pale—too pale—and her hands are folded over her stomach.**

"NO!" Shauna screams.

The rest of the room is silent.

 **I jump to my feet and start toward her, but a few factionless guns stop me from going much farther. I put up my hands and stand still, watching.**

 **Uriah walks around the crowd of war criminals and points to a severe-looking Erudite woman with gray hair. "You. Come here."**

 **The woman gets to her feet and brushes off her pants. She walks, light-footed, to the edge of the seated crowd and looks expectantly at Uriah.**

" **You're a doctor, right?" he says.**

" **I am, yes," she says.**

" **Then fix her!" He scowls. "She's hurt."**

 **The doctor approaches Lynn and asks the two Dauntless to set her down. They do, and she crouches over the stretcher.**

" **My dear," she says. "Please remove your hands from your wound."**

" **I can't," moans Lynn. "It hurts."**

"This has to be bad," Uriah mutters. "Lynn never complains when she is in pain.

Tris gets off the lounge and goes and sits with Lynn. The suddenness of this has shocked us all. Zeke is holding tightly to Shauna who has tears streaming down her face. I would think that Shauna would want to go and sit with her sister but she can't seem to move. She is just stunned.

" **I am aware that it hurts," the doctor says. "But I won't be able to assess your wound if you do not reveal it to me." Uriah kneels across from the doctor and helps her shift Lynn's hands away from her stomach. The doctor peels Lynn's shirt back from her stomach. The bullet wound itself is just a round, red circle in Lynn's skin, but surrounding it is what looks like a bruise. I have never seen a bruise that dark.**

 **The doctor purses her lips, and I know that Lynn is as good as dead.**

" **Fix her!" says Uriah. "You can fix her, so do it!"**

" **On the contrary," the doctor says, looking up at him. "Because you set the hospital floors of this building on fire, I cannot fix her."**

"Why would they burn the hospital floors?" Eric asks. "Are they insane?"

"The factionless wanted to destroy Erudite," I say. "Looks like they have."

" **There are other hospitals!" he says, almost shouting. "You can get stuff from there and heal her!"**

" **Her condition is far too advanced," the doctor says, her voice quiet. "If you had not insisted upon burning everything that came into your path, I could have tried, but as the situation stands, trying would be worthless."**

" **You shut up!" he says, pointing his gun at the doctor's chest. "I'm not the one who burned your hospital! She's my friend, and I ... I just ..."**

" **Uri," says Lynn. "Shut up. It's too late."**

"No," Shauna sobs. "Don't you die Lynn, don't you dare."

 **Uriah lets his gun clatter to the ground and grabs Lynn's hand, his lip quivering.**

"How can Uriah drop his gun? Therese already took it from him," I question.

"Not really the time Four?" Eric responds.

It might not be the time but still it makes no sense.

I look over to see both Marlene and Uriah holding tight to each other, both have tears falling. I'm sure they would both be running over to comfort Lynn but they just seem shocked. I don't think any of us saw this coming.

" **I'm her friend too," I say to the factionless pointing guns at me. "Can you at least point guns at me from over there?"**

 **They let me pass, and I run to Lynn's side, holding her free hand, which is sticky with blood. I ignore the gun barrels pointed at my head and focus on Lynn's face, which is now yellowish instead of white.**

 **She doesn't seem to notice me. She focuses on Uriah.**

" **I'm just glad I didn't die while under the simulation," she says weakly.**

" **You're not gonna die now," he says.**

" **Don't be stupid," she says. "Uri, listen. I loved her too. I did."**

" **You loved who?" he says, his voice breaking.**

" **Marlene," says Lynn.**

" **Yeah, we all loved Marlene," he says.**

" **No, that's not what I mean." She shakes her head. She closes her eyes.**

"You like girls!" Eric exclaims

"What?" Lynn whispers, tears in her eyes.

"You like girls. What the hell Lynn?" Eric says.

"Who cares," Shauna calls out. "She is dying."

"What about me?" Eric quietly asks.

"Why would she care about you?" Shauna scoffs.

"Shauna," Lynn warns.

"You son of a bitch," Shauna shouts and jumps from the lounge and dives at Eric. "You bastard, I told you to stay away from her."

"Shauna," Lynn and Zeke call out at the same time.

Zeke and Uriah both jump up and run to hold back a crazed Shauna who is punching and kicking at Eric. Screaming profanities at him.

Eric gets up and storms out of the room.

Lynn gets up and runs, Tris, Marlene and I go after her. She gets to the hallway near the training room and slumps to the floor.

"I," Lynn starts and then stops.

"You're in love with me?" Marlene asks with a smile on her face.

Lynn looks up, tears staining her face.

"I was," she answers.

"But now it's Eric?" Marlene asks.

Lynn nods. "I better go and talk to him," Lynn mumbles.

"I'll go," Tris says as she gives Lynn a hug.

"You okay?" I ask.

"I don't know," Lynn says. "I just outed myself and died, all in the one paragraph."

I can't help but chuckle a bit. "Only you could do that Lynn," I say.

"Not exactly how I wanted it to happen," she says.

"Well at least we can hang out in the after-life," Marlene muses.

"Neither of you are going to die," I say. "At least not for a very long time."

"You don't know that Four," Lynn tells me.

"No I don't, but we have to think on the positive side. They put us here for a reason. We have a chance to stop this."

"So, is Eric all mean and brooding when you are alone?" Marlene asks. "Or is he like a big soft teddy bear?"

"Marlene," Lynn exclaims.

"Oh come on Lynn," Marlene whines. "As if I wasn't going to ask you questions."

"Well I'm not answering, any of them," Lynn states.

"You are as bad as Tris," Marlene huffs.

"Thank goodness for that," I mutter.

"I better go and talk to Eric," Lynn says.

"I think you might want to talk to Shauna first," I say.

"No, I don't want to talk to her right now."

I give her a look.

"Okay, fine. Shauna it is."

* * *

I walk back into the lounge room and the room feels tense. I look up to see Eric and Lynn sitting together. Obviously, they have talked. I see Shauna sending them both death glares. I know Zeke has a lot he wants to say by the way he is bouncing in his seat but I think he is too scared of what Shauna may do if he opens his mouth.

I sit back down and Christina says, "is everyone ready for me to read?"

"I just have one question?" Will asks and I groan. This is not going to be good.

"Lynn how did you go from liking girls to being with Eric? He asks.

Lynn takes a big breath in and then exhales. "It's not like that. I was in love with Marlene, one girl. I fell for Eric. I don't know why, I just don't look at what sex a person is, it's about who they are."

Shauna scoffs. "I know you don't like it Shauna," Lynn tells her. "But, I can't help who I have feelings for, male or female. It's not like you would have embraced it if I was a lesbian and now that I like Eric you are not going to approve of him either."

"I would have been happier if you were just a lesbian," Shauna admits.

"What about my happiness?" Lynn asks.

"What?" Shauna asks.

"You keep talking about your happiness but what about what makes me happy?"

"Of course, I want to see you happy," Shauna tells Lynn.

"Well start acting like it," Lynn demands.

"So, is that why Eric is always so angry?" Zeke asks. We all look at him confused. "Because he has a vagina."

"Fuck you, Pedrad," Eric spits out.

"No thanks Eric. I don't think you're my type," Zeke says laughing.

Christina starts to read again. _Thank goodness._

 **Still, it takes a few minutes before her hand goes limp in mine. I guide it across her stomach, and then take her other hand from Uriah and do the same to it. He wipes his eyes before his tears can fall. Our eyes meet across her body.**

" **You should tell Shauna," I say. "And Hector."**

" **Right." He sniffs and presses his palm to Lynn's face. I wonder if her cheek is still warm. I don't want to touch her and find that it's not.**

"But you were touching her hands, so they would feel the same as her cheek," Christina says."Wouldn't they?"

"I suppose," Tris says.

 **I rise and walk back to Christina.**

Something goes flying across the room and I look to see that Zeke has thrown a shirt at Lynn and it has landed on her head.

"Thanks," she grumbles.

The biggest surprise is that Max hasn't made any comment. I wonder what he is thinking? Does he still trust Eric or does he think Eric is a traitor?


	48. Chapter 48

CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT

FOUR'S POV

"Does anyone want a break?" Max asks. "Because I'd like to get this chapter done as quickly as possible."

"Let's just get it over with," Eric agrees.

"You can read again Christina," Max tells Christina.

 **CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN**

 **My mind keeps tugging me toward my memories of Lynn, in an attempt to persuade me that she is actually gone, but I push away the short flashes as they come. Someday I will stop doing that, if I'm not executed as a traitor, or whatever our new leaders have planned. But right now I fight to keep my mind blank, to pretend that this room is all that has ever existed and all that will ever exist. It should not be easy, but it is. I have learned how to fend off grief.**

"For now," Eric says. "I bet when it finally hits it will be like jumping into Dauntless without the net at the bottom."

 **Tori and Harrison come to the lobby after a while, Tori limping toward a chair—I almost forgot about her bullet wound again; she was so nimble when she killed Jeanine—and Harrison following her.**

 **Behind both of them is one of the Dauntless with Jeanine's body slung over his shoulder. He heaves it like a stone on a table in front of the rows of Erudite and Dauntless traitors.**

 **Behind me I hear gasps and mutters, but no sobs. Jeanine was not the kind of leader people cry for.**

"That is kinda creepy," Marlene says cringing. "Why would they put her body out there like that."

"I think it's so people can see she is dead," I say.

"I'm glad I didn't have that happen to me," Marlene replies.

"I am too," I say. Thinking that as one of the leaders I probably would have had to go and retrieve Marlene's body from the pavement after she died. The thought sends a shiver through me. I can't even imagine what her body would have looked like after such a fall.

 **I stare up at her body, which seems so much smaller in death than it did in life. She is only a few inches taller than I am, her hair only a few shades darker. She looks calm now, almost peaceful. I have trouble connecting this body with the woman I knew, the woman without a conscience.**

"It seems a bit surreal that she is dead," Will says. "After everything she has done."

"Yeah," I say. "If we had killed her before all of this, then so many lives could have been saved."

"Maybe that's what we should do," Zeke says. "If we kill Jeanine then this can all be over with."

"I think we need to know what is on that video first," Eric states.

You can see a few confused faces around the room.

"Once we know what is on the video," Eric continues. "Then we can get a clearer idea of what this is all about. Then we can make plans on how we stop this shit from happening."

"What if it is destroyed?" Lynn asks. "What if they don't tell us in the books?"

"Then we will have to make a plan to find that out," Eric replies. "I don't think making plans of any sort before we know what is in these books is going to help us. We need as much information as possible."

"Erudite." Lynn mumbles just loud enough for us all to hear. A few snickers can be heard around the room and Eric gives Lynn a death glare.

She just laughs at him and he shakes his head in defeat, he has certainly met his match in Lynn.

 **And even she was more complicated than I thought, keeping a secret that she thought was too terrible to reveal, out of a heinously twisted protective instinct.**

 **Johanna Reyes steps into the lobby, soaked to the bone from all the rain, her red clothes smeared with a darker red. The factionless flank her, but she doesn't appear to notice them or the guns they carry.**

" **Hello," she says to Harrison and Tori. "What is it that you want?"**

" **I didn't know the leader of Amity would be so curt," says Tori with a wry smile. "Isn't that against your manifesto?"**

" **If you were actually familiar with Amity's customs, you would know that they don't have a formal leader," says Johanna, her voice simultaneously gentle and firm. "But I'm not the representative of Amity anymore. I stepped down in order to come here."**

" **Yeah, I saw you and your little band of peacekeepers, getting in everyone's way," says Tori.**

"Getting a bit bitchy there, Tori. I thought that you would be in a better mood now that you have killed Jeanine," Eric remarks.

"I'm sure you would be "bitchy" too if you had been there," Tori snaps back.

" **Yes, that was intentional," Johanna replies. "Since getting in the way meant standing between guns and innocents, and saved a great number of lives."**

"She's pretty brave," Zeke says. "You have to wonder if she is Divergent, you could almost imagine her in Dauntless."

"It's about time that someone from Amity stood up for what is right instead of burying their head in the sand," Eric comments.

"I suppose she took 'faction before blood' very seriously," I taunt Eric with. Eric just rolls his eyes at me.

 **Color fills her cheeks, and I think it again: that Johanna Reyes might still be beautiful. Except now I think that she isn't just beautiful in spite of the scar, she's somehow beautiful with it, like Lynn with her buzzed hair, like Tobias with the memories of his father's cruelty that he wears like armor, like my mother in her plain gray clothing.**

" **Since you are still so very generous," says Tori, "I wonder if you might carry a message back to the Amity."**

" **I don't feel comfortable leaving you and your army to dole out justice as you see fit," says Johanna, "but I will certainly send someone else to Amity with a message."**

" **Fine," says Tori. "Tell them that a new political system will soon be formed that will exclude them from representation. This, we believe, is their just punishment for failing to choose a side in this conflict. They will, of course, be obligated to continue to produce and deliver food to the city, but they will be under supervision by one of the leading factions."**

"Are you sure you want to do that Tori?" Uriah asks. We all look at him a little confused. "You don't know if they will poison us or not. If they are in control of our food supply, they could do anything to the food. Damn, Zeke might get his hit of peace serum after all."

Everyone laughs at this.

 **For a second, I think that Johanna might launch herself at Tori and strangle her. But she draws herself up taller and says, "Is that all?"**

" **Yes."**

" **Fine," she says. "I'm going to go do something useful. I don't suppose you would allow some of us to come in here and tend to these wounded?"**

 **Tori gives her a look.**

"Why wouldn't you let her help?" Tris asks. "It isn't going to hurt to let her help."

Tori doesn't reply, but she does look deep in thought. _I wonder what she is thinking?_

" **I didn't think so," says Johanna. "Do remember, though, that sometimes the people you oppress become mightier than you would like."**

"I think Johanna is smarter than anyone gives her credit for," Eric says.

"Well it is hard to take them seriously when they are drugged all the time," Max replies.

 **She turns and walks out of the lobby.**

 **Something about her words hits me. I am sure she meant them as a threat, and a feeble one, but it rings in my head like it was something more—like she could easily have been talking not about the Amity, but about another oppressed group. The factionless.**

 **And as I look around the room, at every Dauntless soldier and every factionless soldier, I begin to see a pattern.**

" **Christina," I say. "The factionless have all the guns."**

"How the hell did that happen?" Zeke asks. "Why would the Dauntless let that happen?"

"We teach you to take your weapons seriously, but look what has happened," Eric states.

"I don't get it," Zeke says.

"Think about it Zeke," I say. "What do the factionless want?"

"Power," Zeke replies in a whisper. I just nod my head.

 **She looks around, and then back at me, frowning.**

 **In my mind I see Therese, taking Uriah's gun when she already had one herself. I see Tobias's mouth pressed into a line when I asked him about the uneasy Dauntless-factionless alliance, holding something back.**

"Did you know what they were planning?" Tris asks.

"I don't know, I must have," I reply.

"This isn't good," Lynn comments.

"I hate that woman," Zeke spits out. I can't help but to agree with him.

The one good thing for myself is that I have been able to see just what Evelyn is like. I know I won't be going down the same path with her again. It hurts to know that this is the person that she is. That I don't mean anything to her. That she will do anything for power, just like Marcus, just like Jeanine. All three need to be stopped, probably countless followers as well, whatever we plan to do to take down these people, it is going to be hard won.

 **Then Evelyn emerges into the lobby, her posture regal, like a queen returning to her kingdom. Tobias does not follow her.** _ **Where is he?**_

"I really don't like your mother Four," Lynn states.

"I don't think I do either Lynn," I reply.

 **Evelyn stands behind the table where Jeanine Matthews's body lies. Edward limps into the lobby behind her. Evelyn takes out a gun, points it at the fallen portrait of Jeanine, and fires.**

 **A hush falls over the room. Evelyn drops the gun on the table, next to Jeanine's head.**

" **Thank you," she says. "I know that you are all wondering what will happen next, so I am here to tell you."**

 **Tori sits up straighter in her chair and leans toward Evelyn, like she wants to say something. But Evelyn pays no attention.**

" **The faction system that has long supported itself on the backs of discarded human beings will be disbanded at once," says Evelyn. "We know this transition will be difficult for you, but—"**

" _ **We?"**_ **Tori breaks in, looking scandalized. "What are you talking about, disbanded?"**

" **What I am talking about," says Evelyn, looking at Tori for the first time, "is that your faction, which up until a few weeks ago was clamoring along with the Erudite for the restriction of food and goods to the factionless, a clamor that resulted in the destruction of the Abnegation, will no longer exist."**

 **Evelyn smiles a little.**

"Fuck she is evil," Lynn says. I can't disagree with her, I want to, but I would be lying to myself.

" **And if you decide to take up arms against us," she says, "you will be hard pressed to find any arms to take up."**

 **I watch, then, as each factionless soldier holds up a gun. Factionless are evenly spaced around the edge of the room, and they disappear into one of the stairwells. They have us all surrounded.**

 **It is so elegant, so clever, that I almost laugh.**

Eric starts to laugh. "You were completely played Tori," he says between his laughs.

" **I instructed my half of the army to relieve your half of the army of their weapons as soon as their missions were completed," says Evelyn. "I see now that they were successful. I regret the duplicity, but we knew that you have been conditioned to cling to the faction system like it is your own mother, and that we would have to help ease you into this new era."**

" _ **Ease us?"**_ **Tori demands. She pushes herself to her feet and limps toward Evelyn, who calmly takes her gun in hand and points it at Tori.**

" **I have not been starving for more than a decade just to give in to a Dauntless woman with a leg injury," Evelyn says. "So unless you want me to shoot you, take a seat with your fellow ex-faction members."**

 **I see all the muscles in Evelyn's arm standing at attention, her eyes not cold, not quite like Jeanine's, but calculating, assessing, planning. I don't know how this woman could have ever bent to Marcus's will. She must not have been this woman then, all steel, tested in fire.**

"She is very different to the mother I remember," I whisper to Tris, but I know everyone heard me.

"Well you went through a lot worse than she did, you were only a child" Eric states. "And you haven't turned into a crazy person. I think she has been planning and plotting her revenge on Marcus for a very long time. And now everyone is going to suffer for it."

 **Tori stands before Evelyn for a few seconds. She then limps backward, away from the gun and toward the edge of the room.**

" **Those of you who assisted us in the effort to take down Erudite will be rewarded," says Evelyn. "Those of you who resisted us will be tried and punished according to your crimes." She raises her voice for the last sentence, and I am surprised by how well it carries over the space.**

"She is going to be just as bad, if not worse, than Jeanine was," Lynn says.

"Why do you think that?" Zeke asks.

"Jeanine thought she was protecting the city, the faction system. Evelyn wants to have total control, she wants to see people suffer. It's like an eye for an eye and she is going to make sure that people feel what she has been through."

 **Behind her, the door to the stairwell opens, and Tobias steps out with Marcus and Caleb behind him, almost unnoticed. Almost, except I notice him, because I have trained myself to notice him. I watch his shoes as he comes closer. They are black sneakers with chrome eyelets for the laces. They stop right next to me, and he crouches by my shoulder.**

 **I look at him, expecting to find his eyes cold and unyielding.**

 **But I don't.**

 **Evelyn is still talking, but her voice fades for me.**

" **You were right," Tobias says quietly, balancing on the balls of his feet. He smiles a little. "I do know who you are. I just needed to be reminded."**

"YEAH!" Zeke shouts. "Looks like our favourite couple are getting along again."

"Don't get too excited Zeke," Uriah teases. "Maybe you will have to listen to them having make up sex in the book."

"Uriah," Zeke whines. "Don't ruin this for me."

 **I open my mouth, but I don't have anything to say.**

 **Then all the screens in the Erudite lobby—at least those that weren't destroyed in the attack—flicker on, including a projector positioned over the wall where Jeanine's portrait used to be.**

 **Evelyn stops in the middle of whatever sentence she was speaking. Tobias takes my hand and helps me to my feet.**

" **What is this?" Evelyn demands.**

" **This," he says, only to me, "is the information that will change everything."**

 **My legs shake with relief and apprehension.**

" **You did it?" I say.**

" **You did it," he says. "All I did was force Caleb to cooperate."**

 **I throw my arm around his neck, and press my lips to his. He holds my face in both hands and kisses me back. I press into the distance between us until it is gone, crushing the secrets we have kept and the suspicions we have harbored—for good, I hope.**

"So do we," Zeke calls out. Which gets a laugh from all of us.

"Does that mean we are going to know what's on the video?" Lynn asks.

"Let's keep reading and see what happens," Max says.

 **And then I hear a voice.**

 **We pull apart and turn toward the wall, where a woman with short brown hair is projected. She sits at a metal desk with her hands folded, in a location I don't recognize. The background is too dim.**

" **Hello," she says. "My name is Amanda Ritter. In this file I will tell you only what you need to know. I am the leader of an organization fighting for justice and peace. This fight has become increasingly more important—and consequently, nearly impossible—in the past few decades. That is because of this."**

 **Images flash across the wall, almost too fast for me to see. A man on his knees with a gun pressed to his forehead. The woman pointing it at him, her face emotionless.**

 **From a distance, a small person hanging by the neck from a telephone pole.**

 **A hole in the ground the size of a house, full of bodies.**

 **And there are other images too, but they move faster, so I get only impressions of blood and bone and death and cruelty, empty faces, soulless eyes, terrified eyes.**

 **Just when I have had enough, when I feel like I am going to scream if I see any more, the woman reappears on the screen, behind her desk.**

" **You do not remember any of that," she says. "But if you are thinking these are the actions of a terrorist group or a tyrannical government regime, you are only partially correct. Half of the people in those pictures, committing those terrible acts, were your neighbors. Your relatives. Your coworkers. The battle we are fighting is not against a particular group. It is against human nature itself—or at least what it has become."**

 **This is what Jeanine was willing to enslave minds and murder people for—to keep us all from knowing. To keep us all ignorant and safe and** _ **inside the fence**_ **.**

 **There is a part of me that understands.**

" **That is why you are so important," Amanda says. "Our struggle against violence and cruelty is only treating the symptoms of a disease, not curing it.** _ **You**_ **are the cure.**

"What the fuck?" Eric shouts as he jumps out of his seat. "We are the cure, what does that mean?"

"Let's just let Christina read what is on the video and then we can discuss it afterwards," Max tells Eric. In a calm voice, without his usual brashness.

Eric sits back down and Lynn takes his hand, calming him a little.

" **In order to keep you safe, we devised a way for you to be separated from us. From our water supply. From our technology. From our societal structure. We have formed your society in a particular way in the hope that you will rediscover the moral sense most of us have lost. Over time, we hope that you will begin to change as most of us cannot.**

" **The reason I am leaving this footage for you is so that you will know when it's time to help us. You will know that it is time when there are many among you whose minds appear to be more flexible than the others. The name you should give those people is Divergent. Once they become abundant among you, your leaders should give the command for Amity to unlock the gate forever, so that you may emerge from your isolation."**

 **And that is what my parents wanted to do: to take what we had learned and use it to help others. Abnegation to the end.**

" **The information in this video is to be restricted to those in government only," Amanda says. "You are to be a clean slate. But do not forget us."**

 **She smiles a little.**

" **I am about to join your number," she says. "Like the rest of you, I will voluntarily forget my name, my family, and my home. I will take on a new identity, with false memories and a false history. But so that you know the information I have provided you with is accurate, I will tell you the name I am about to take as my own."**

 **Her smile broadens, and for a moment, I feel that I recognize her.**

" **My name will be Edith Prior," she says. "And there is much I am happy to forget."**

 **Prior.**

 **The video stops. The projector glows blue against the wall. I clutch Tobias's hand, and there is a moment of silence like a withheld breath.**

 **Then the shouting begins.**

Everyone turns and they are looking at Tris.

"What?" Tris asks as she blushes a bright red. I feel her grip tightly to my T-shirt.

Just like in the book everyone starts to talk at once.

"STOP!" Tris shouts as she stands up. Standing as straight and tall as she can.

Everyone stops talking, looking a bit shocked at this commanding Tris. _I think I like this side of Tris._

"Just one question at a time," Tris tells them. "But before you ask any. No I do not know who the Edith Prior is."

The room stays silent. Everyone deep in their own thoughts.

Finally Max speaks up, "well I wasn't expecting that."

As Max finishes talking we hear the familiar sound of the sleeping gas start to move within the apartment.

"Not again," Zeke says as we all start to feel sleepy.

* * *

My head feels heavy as I start to wake. Not how I usually wake. I try to think what is going on, when I remember that we were given the sleeping gas, again.

I quickly jump up and look around. Tris is lying next to me. It is a relief to know she is here with me. Everyone is starting to stir, we are all in a larger room than the apartment lounge room that we had been in before. Have we been moved to a different location? I look around and there are large windows that aren't covered, floor to ceiling in length.

I start to move towards the windows when Eric gets up and yells, "where the hell are we?"

I turn to answer him when I see a remote. A note is stuck to it. It says "Press play."

Everyone is awake now and as I was a few minutes before, they are all looking around. Confusion written on their faces.

I hold up the remote and Eric says, "what are you waiting for. Press play."

I hold the remote in front of me and press play.

A large screen comes down from the roof, a bit like a curtain being closed. We all stand watching, waiting. Tris comes and stands with me, we embrace each other, holding tight. Then we see the words on the screen.

 **WELCOME TO THE COMPOUND**

* * *

That's it guys. End of Insurgent Uncovered. I hope you enjoyed it. I know you are all cursing me right now. How can I leave the story ending like this? Yes the characters have moved to a new location. And I haven't started writing Allegiant Uncovered. Yes, I will be writing it but it won't be to later in the year. I am not giving you a time frame because I have a lot happening over the next few months and I don't want to put pressure on myself to try and deliver a story in that time frame. I would rather take my time and give you my all.

A big think you to everyone who has reviewed, favourited and followed this story. Without your support, I don't think I would ever get anything finished. You make my day, every time I post. I need to give a few shout outs. Firstly to **Paula08** , you have been with me since the beginning and you helped to get these books typed out. Without you I don't think I would have ever got this far. Thank you. **Ifdy** and **Jojoboo90** , your friendships, support and chats get me through my day, thank you for your support. **Divergentpanda46** our chats finally got me to write the ending. I knew what I wanted to write I just couldn't get off my arse to do it, so thanks for inspiring me to actually finish this story. While our friendship is new I feel blessed to have you in my life. Last but not least, **Lunaschild2016**. Thank you. You are my rock, you inspire me to keep going when times are tough, you pick me up when I fall and most of all you are my friend. I couldn't have got through the last few months without you. Stay strong our time is coming;)


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